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Jesus and Gender: Living as Sisters and Brothers in Christ
Loving one another as sisters and brothers in Jesus.
Many Christian women and men carry heavy burdens. Much teaching on gender relations, roles, and rules binds the conscience beyond what Scripture actually teaches. Gender has become a battleground for power. But God created men and women not to compete for glory but to cooperate for his glory.
In Jesus and Gender, Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher paint a new vision for gender―Christ's gentle and lowly heart. The centrality of the gospel has been lost in gender debates. Our ultimate example is Jesus, our humble king, who used his power to serve others. So we must rethink our identities, roles, and relationships around him. Christ transformed enemies into family. Men and women are allies in God's mission.
Drawing from Scripture and experience, Fitzpatrick and Schumacher show how Jesus's example speaks to all areas of our lives as men and women, including vocation, marriage, parenting, friendships, and relating to each other as sisters and brothers in Christ. Real-life testimonies from a variety of Christians―including Christine Caine, Justin Holcomb, Karen Swallow Prior, and others―show a variety of men and women freed to pursue their gifts for God's glory.
Fitzpatrick and Schumacher's perspective untangles what God has said about gender from what he hasn't. By coming to Jesus, women and men can find rest.
Many Christian women and men carry heavy burdens. Much teaching on gender relations, roles, and rules binds the conscience beyond what Scripture actually teaches. Gender has become a battleground for power. But God created men and women not to compete for glory but to cooperate for his glory.
In Jesus and Gender, Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher paint a new vision for gender―Christ's gentle and lowly heart. The centrality of the gospel has been lost in gender debates. Our ultimate example is Jesus, our humble king, who used his power to serve others. So we must rethink our identities, roles, and relationships around him. Christ transformed enemies into family. Men and women are allies in God's mission.
Drawing from Scripture and experience, Fitzpatrick and Schumacher show how Jesus's example speaks to all areas of our lives as men and women, including vocation, marriage, parenting, friendships, and relating to each other as sisters and brothers in Christ. Real-life testimonies from a variety of Christians―including Christine Caine, Justin Holcomb, Karen Swallow Prior, and others―show a variety of men and women freed to pursue their gifts for God's glory.
Fitzpatrick and Schumacher's perspective untangles what God has said about gender from what he hasn't. By coming to Jesus, women and men can find rest.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published April 6, 2022
44 people are currently reading
831 people want to read
About the author
Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
55 books474 followersAuthor of 20+ books on the Christian life and the gospel's impact on everyday living, Elyse is a frequent speaker at women's conferences nationally and internationally.
Elyse's ministry is summed up in these simple words: No fluff, No bricks, just the good news of a crucified and risen Christ.
In 1971 she married her sweetheart Phil and together they raised three children and are enjoying six really adorable grandchildren.
Together they attend Valley Center Community Church in the hills of the North County of San Diego where Phil is an elder.
Elyse's ministry is summed up in these simple words: No fluff, No bricks, just the good news of a crucified and risen Christ.
In 1971 she married her sweetheart Phil and together they raised three children and are enjoying six really adorable grandchildren.
Together they attend Valley Center Community Church in the hills of the North County of San Diego where Phil is an elder.
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May 23, 2022
When you read the title, you might think this book is about the transgender debate. It is not; it is a book about the church. Even more importantly, it is a book about Christ.
Paul says this at his famous "Address to an Unknown god" in Athens:
"The God who made the world and everything in it — he is Lord of heaven and earth — does not live in shrines made by hands. Neither is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives everyone life and breath and all things. From one man he has made every nationality to live over the whole earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live. He did this so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also his offspring.’ Since, then, we are God’s offspring, we shouldn’t think that the divine nature is like gold or silver or stone, an image fashioned by human art and imagination."
Acts 17:24-29 CSB
The Gospel means "Good News." Any doctrine, whether centuries old or just a few decades, that does not offer this but instead condemnation, subservience, misogyny/misandry, and shame is not, in the words of Fitzpatrick and Schumacher, "Christic."
If we truly believe that Christ is the center of everything, then He must remain the center of our doctrines. At the end of Revelation, John is warned not to add or subtract from what he was told to write. Yet, we have famously done that, throughout the entire history of Christianity, most specifically with the Gospel and Paul's epistles. What would it look like to let all that go, and simply be Jesus?
This is the central, overarching, magnificent theme of their book: Christ is unified with the Father and Holy Spirit, and if we become Christic, we will find unity in all our relationships.
We will be unified as a church body, not worried about women usurping authority or men refusing to work in the kitchen. Instead, we will seek to outdo one another in showing honor, and becoming humble servants. We will rejoice that all can fully express Christ, according to our many talents and gifts.
Eve was created from the rib of Adam that she might share the unity of having the same DNA as the rest of humanity. She was not an afterthought, she was not less worthy of her own spectacular creation - such as when Adam was formed from dust. Her creation was also glorious and miraculous and made all the angels sing! Single women are Christic because of their restored humanity - the life, sacrifice, and resurrection of Christ, and not because they have a human male to become "one flesh" with; they are first and foremost one flesh with Christ. Single men are just as worthy of the exact same reasons. (Substitute "male" for "female".) We won't be consumed by egalitarian or complementarian issues because we're all equal in Christ. I love how they describe how salvation and baptism automatically destroy any stereotypes and equality issues. We were ALL sinners. We have ALL been called worthy, and are being remade into a Christic image.
We will be unified in our families. Husbands will not be patriarchs; wives will not be submissive little homemakers. (Note: if you do choose to be a homemaker, that is a glorious calling; I myself am one. But we should do it all to the glory of Christ, and not because our church guilts us and shames us for working outside the home.) Marriage is not the goal of life; having children doesn't give you an express pass into Heaven. Marriage is a portrayal of Christ and His bride, though not the ultimate one, or singleness and also infertility would be considered sinful states of being. Rather than worrying about if she is respecting him, and if he is fully leading and simultaneously loving her, we would simply seek to rule together. To recognize that we are ontologically equal; both genders are fully made in the image of Christ.
We wouldn't put our own doctrines upon our children, enforcing them with iron fists, and causing abuse and trauma. We would rather raise them to follow Christ; a Christic example is all we can emulate and desire for our babies.
Girls would be encouraged to get STEM degrees. Boys wouldn't be ridiculed for hating or being uninterested in sports - particularly football. We would teach our little ones to respect and honor their biological siblings. We would teach them that family isn't confined to the home. We would model hospitality, concern and care for the orphaned, compassion for those who have less. We wouldn't worry about stereotypes - though that does NOT mean we have to raise our children "gender neutral." It means we support and encourage them on whatever pathway God calls them to use their gifts and parents. Children are not means for a vicarious experience for us; we have no right to claim their futures (other than to claim the promises of God over them) and we ESPECIALLY do NOT own their purity. A daughter's virginity isn't a reflection of her father, a weapon to use against her or a marker of her status in the church.
We would be friends with everyone; women wouldn't be automatically villified as "seductresses." We would seek to root out and condemn abuse, in any form or fashion, including engaging the authorities, and supporting the need for professional counselors. Children wouldn't have to hide their bruises with clothing. Wives wouldn't be told it is unbiblical to ever leave your husband. We would embrace and welcome into our homes the widows and the downtrodden. We would be a strong shield for the weak, and a bastion against cruelty and wickedness.
As image bearers, we are all worthy. As image bearers, we are all beautiful. No one should ever be told that being like Christ means to let yourself be abused. (In cases of religious persecution, this is of course unavoidable, and specifically addressed by Christ. I am speaking here of domestic, relational abuse.)
We also wouldn't be consumed with making sure everyone knows about our "Christic manhood," and why it's really men who are the ultimate creation. As if women were just leftovers that had to be made from a man, because they aren't strong enough to handle life on their own!
If you've never read the authors they list in chapter 11 and in their footnotes, please do so! Rachel Miller has written about the true meaning of submission. Aimee Byrd has written about friendships between men and women, and also about what Paul REALLY meant when he instructed them not to speak out in church. (Hint: it's the exact opposite of pretty much anything and everything that's been said.) Rachel Welcher restored the meaning of purity, and sexual relations. Lust and fornication are still sins, but they're not the unpardonable one. They're not the end of a Christic life. And, of course, you should begin all these books with Fitzpatrick's and Schumacher's Worthy; a book that will glue your heart back together, and remind you of the true, Word - centered Christ, of whom it is our glory, and duty, to imitate in His image.
Dumb Confessional Woman on Twitter
*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my fair and honest review. No influence from the authors, other than in the book, was a part of my process.*
https://lexhampress.com/product/21395...
Paul says this at his famous "Address to an Unknown god" in Athens:
"The God who made the world and everything in it — he is Lord of heaven and earth — does not live in shrines made by hands. Neither is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives everyone life and breath and all things. From one man he has made every nationality to live over the whole earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live. He did this so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being, as even some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also his offspring.’ Since, then, we are God’s offspring, we shouldn’t think that the divine nature is like gold or silver or stone, an image fashioned by human art and imagination."
Acts 17:24-29 CSB
The Gospel means "Good News." Any doctrine, whether centuries old or just a few decades, that does not offer this but instead condemnation, subservience, misogyny/misandry, and shame is not, in the words of Fitzpatrick and Schumacher, "Christic."
If we truly believe that Christ is the center of everything, then He must remain the center of our doctrines. At the end of Revelation, John is warned not to add or subtract from what he was told to write. Yet, we have famously done that, throughout the entire history of Christianity, most specifically with the Gospel and Paul's epistles. What would it look like to let all that go, and simply be Jesus?
This is the central, overarching, magnificent theme of their book: Christ is unified with the Father and Holy Spirit, and if we become Christic, we will find unity in all our relationships.
We will be unified as a church body, not worried about women usurping authority or men refusing to work in the kitchen. Instead, we will seek to outdo one another in showing honor, and becoming humble servants. We will rejoice that all can fully express Christ, according to our many talents and gifts.
Eve was created from the rib of Adam that she might share the unity of having the same DNA as the rest of humanity. She was not an afterthought, she was not less worthy of her own spectacular creation - such as when Adam was formed from dust. Her creation was also glorious and miraculous and made all the angels sing! Single women are Christic because of their restored humanity - the life, sacrifice, and resurrection of Christ, and not because they have a human male to become "one flesh" with; they are first and foremost one flesh with Christ. Single men are just as worthy of the exact same reasons. (Substitute "male" for "female".) We won't be consumed by egalitarian or complementarian issues because we're all equal in Christ. I love how they describe how salvation and baptism automatically destroy any stereotypes and equality issues. We were ALL sinners. We have ALL been called worthy, and are being remade into a Christic image.
We will be unified in our families. Husbands will not be patriarchs; wives will not be submissive little homemakers. (Note: if you do choose to be a homemaker, that is a glorious calling; I myself am one. But we should do it all to the glory of Christ, and not because our church guilts us and shames us for working outside the home.) Marriage is not the goal of life; having children doesn't give you an express pass into Heaven. Marriage is a portrayal of Christ and His bride, though not the ultimate one, or singleness and also infertility would be considered sinful states of being. Rather than worrying about if she is respecting him, and if he is fully leading and simultaneously loving her, we would simply seek to rule together. To recognize that we are ontologically equal; both genders are fully made in the image of Christ.
We wouldn't put our own doctrines upon our children, enforcing them with iron fists, and causing abuse and trauma. We would rather raise them to follow Christ; a Christic example is all we can emulate and desire for our babies.
Girls would be encouraged to get STEM degrees. Boys wouldn't be ridiculed for hating or being uninterested in sports - particularly football. We would teach our little ones to respect and honor their biological siblings. We would teach them that family isn't confined to the home. We would model hospitality, concern and care for the orphaned, compassion for those who have less. We wouldn't worry about stereotypes - though that does NOT mean we have to raise our children "gender neutral." It means we support and encourage them on whatever pathway God calls them to use their gifts and parents. Children are not means for a vicarious experience for us; we have no right to claim their futures (other than to claim the promises of God over them) and we ESPECIALLY do NOT own their purity. A daughter's virginity isn't a reflection of her father, a weapon to use against her or a marker of her status in the church.
We would be friends with everyone; women wouldn't be automatically villified as "seductresses." We would seek to root out and condemn abuse, in any form or fashion, including engaging the authorities, and supporting the need for professional counselors. Children wouldn't have to hide their bruises with clothing. Wives wouldn't be told it is unbiblical to ever leave your husband. We would embrace and welcome into our homes the widows and the downtrodden. We would be a strong shield for the weak, and a bastion against cruelty and wickedness.
As image bearers, we are all worthy. As image bearers, we are all beautiful. No one should ever be told that being like Christ means to let yourself be abused. (In cases of religious persecution, this is of course unavoidable, and specifically addressed by Christ. I am speaking here of domestic, relational abuse.)
We also wouldn't be consumed with making sure everyone knows about our "Christic manhood," and why it's really men who are the ultimate creation. As if women were just leftovers that had to be made from a man, because they aren't strong enough to handle life on their own!
If you've never read the authors they list in chapter 11 and in their footnotes, please do so! Rachel Miller has written about the true meaning of submission. Aimee Byrd has written about friendships between men and women, and also about what Paul REALLY meant when he instructed them not to speak out in church. (Hint: it's the exact opposite of pretty much anything and everything that's been said.) Rachel Welcher restored the meaning of purity, and sexual relations. Lust and fornication are still sins, but they're not the unpardonable one. They're not the end of a Christic life. And, of course, you should begin all these books with Fitzpatrick's and Schumacher's Worthy; a book that will glue your heart back together, and remind you of the true, Word - centered Christ, of whom it is our glory, and duty, to imitate in His image.
Dumb Confessional Woman on Twitter
*I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my fair and honest review. No influence from the authors, other than in the book, was a part of my process.*
https://lexhampress.com/product/21395...
April 19, 2022
Note: In 2020, I read Elyse and Eric's last book (Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women) at the same time as Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: How the Church Needs to Rediscover Her Purpose by Aimee Byrd. The books gave a synergy to one another that I found really great. So this time, since they both had new books out together again, I read this book and The Sexual Reformation: Restoring the Dignity and Personhood of Man and Woman at the same time. They definitely played off each other again, but differently this time.
SUMMARY
Continuing from the foundation laid in their last book Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women, the authors take a look at the gender roles & authority/submission debate while bringing something new to the conversation.
This book should've been called Recovering Biblical Brotherhood & Sisterhood.
And it slaps.
THE GOOD
For gender roles books, this might be my favorite because of how they root everything in Christ's incarnation and siblingship with us, instead of marriage or sexual anatomy. Here is a sampling of my favorite quotes:
The chapter on children is (imo) their most controversial and possibly their best chapter.
This book will help convince you to move from the ESV to the CSB (or another version that interprets "brothers and sisters" into the actual text).
It comes with both personal questions and a group study guide in the back. Like I said with Worthy, these questions are far more thoughtful and deep than typical summary questions are in most books. It's a highlight of the book. I also found the endnotes (sigh) very helpful. This is a well-documented book and you'll find great things even in the endnotes.
THE CHALLENGES
In my own life, I've experienced quite a bit of change in my beliefs. I try to remember that it's *me* who has changed (and continuing to change).
I don't want to put words in the authors' mouths, but they mention about halfway through their book their views about homosexuality (and to a lesser degree, transgender people). They fall on the conservative side of this debate.
However, how they talk about it is better than most. In fact, throughout the book they kept saying things that could absolutely be applied to the church's treatment of the LGBTQIA+ community. For example (pg 109):
Hell yeah to that quote! And it also applies to homophobia and transphobia.
So I wouldn't call this book affirming (or even allying), however it is gentle and humble. The reason I like the book is because of the push towards the imago dei and treating everyone with dignity and service just because they are a human created in the image of God. More of this please.
CONCLUSION
In my opinion, Elyse and Eric are becoming the best voices in the gender debate, partly for their conviction not to speak too much into it, but to reframe everything based on our common humanity to Christ's incarnation.
I really can't recommend this book enough.
Five stars.
SUMMARY
Continuing from the foundation laid in their last book Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women, the authors take a look at the gender roles & authority/submission debate while bringing something new to the conversation.
This book should've been called Recovering Biblical Brotherhood & Sisterhood.
And it slaps.
THE GOOD
For gender roles books, this might be my favorite because of how they root everything in Christ's incarnation and siblingship with us, instead of marriage or sexual anatomy. Here is a sampling of my favorite quotes:
"We are all tempted to believe that power is best used when is grasped by us for our purposes. But [Jesus] who knew how to use power for right purposes has shown us a different way. He really did have all authority & yet he used it only to give life to others.”
"In the Gospels, the only people fighting for headship are the disciples (pre-resurrection), the religious elite, and the Romans. Jesus never did."
"In Christ, believing men and women are to glorify God by cooperating for the advance of the gospel and imitating Christ in voluntary humiliation, reciprocal benevolence, and mutual flourishing."
"If there is a male nature that differs in essence from a female nature, and if Jesus assumed a male nature but not a female one, then I, as a woman, can't be saved. Athanasius rightly understood that if there were any part of human nature that hadn't been assumed by Jesus in the incarnation, then that part of our nature, whatever it might be, could not be part of his perfect law-keeping and substitutionary death in our place."
"What we are saying is that any stereotypical straightjacketing of gender in any way is harmful, exasperating, disheartening, and completely unbiblical. Our children don't need to be taught how to be masculine or feminine."
The chapter on children is (imo) their most controversial and possibly their best chapter.
This book will help convince you to move from the ESV to the CSB (or another version that interprets "brothers and sisters" into the actual text).
It comes with both personal questions and a group study guide in the back. Like I said with Worthy, these questions are far more thoughtful and deep than typical summary questions are in most books. It's a highlight of the book. I also found the endnotes (sigh) very helpful. This is a well-documented book and you'll find great things even in the endnotes.
THE CHALLENGES
In my own life, I've experienced quite a bit of change in my beliefs. I try to remember that it's *me* who has changed (and continuing to change).
I don't want to put words in the authors' mouths, but they mention about halfway through their book their views about homosexuality (and to a lesser degree, transgender people). They fall on the conservative side of this debate.
However, how they talk about it is better than most. In fact, throughout the book they kept saying things that could absolutely be applied to the church's treatment of the LGBTQIA+ community. For example (pg 109):
"We would imagine that most of our readers would respond with a Hold on! I don't hate anybody! We understand that response, but let us push back against it for a moment. If you've ever ignored or neglected the needs of another person because of his or her gender, you've hated them. If you've ever listened to cries for help and though, "Typical," that's hatred. If you've ever closed your heart to the needs of another because of their gender, that's hatred, too, and this kind of hatred is called sexism, which is "prejudice or discrimination based on sex or gender."
Hell yeah to that quote! And it also applies to homophobia and transphobia.
So I wouldn't call this book affirming (or even allying), however it is gentle and humble. The reason I like the book is because of the push towards the imago dei and treating everyone with dignity and service just because they are a human created in the image of God. More of this please.
CONCLUSION
In my opinion, Elyse and Eric are becoming the best voices in the gender debate, partly for their conviction not to speak too much into it, but to reframe everything based on our common humanity to Christ's incarnation.
I really can't recommend this book enough.
Five stars.
November 4, 2025
“…I realized that Jesus wasn't a perfect model for the "biblical manhood" offered to me. Undoubtedly the virtues of "biblical manhood" can be illustrated with the life of Jesus. But, just as quickly, the virtues of "biblical womanhood" can be as well…putting on Christ and bearing the fruit of the Spirit didn't come with male and female icons.” (page 6)
(This is gonna be a way longer review than necessary, so bear with me….I just have a lot of thoughts)
I once attended a church service in which the sermon was on “masculine” virtue (as if virtue could be masculine or feminine). It left a sour taste in my mouth. They claimed “the culture” was waging war against masculinity, who called it “toxic” (which is a misunderstanding of feminist critiques of the harms of patriarchy). The lesson was to “act like men.” Whatever that meant. This was supposed to be a “gender redeeming” church- but it felt like a return to a Mark Driscoll/Mars Hill- style masculinity crisis. I quietly disengaged and ended up leaving that church.
I share that anecdote because that story is not uncommon. Evangelicals have honed on gender in strange ways in recent decades- I don’t think that’s a controversial statement. The phrase “complementarian” was coined in 1988, and yet that is too often the litmus test for orthodoxy for many gender-obsessed evangelicals.
In light of the evangelical gender troubles, Fitzpatrick and Schumacher write this book. They propose a new [or rather, recover a long forgotten] framework for thinking about gender, focused on Christ’s incarnation and servanthood. Men and women are brothers and sisters in light of Christ’s new covenant. This fundamentally shapes how men and women ought to live and relate to one another.
I found this approach healing. Too often, much writing about “biblical” manhood or womanhood just repackages gender roles from the 1950s (which are largely a product of advertising, for the record) and puts a Christian sheen on them. The authors here outline a much healthier (and much more biblical) understanding of what it means to be brothers and sisters in Christ.
Now- I’m a grad student in a sociology department. I am much more critical about gender than the average evangelical. So some of the arguments seem obvious to me. Of course adelphoi is better translated as “brothers and sisters” rather than just “brothers.” Of course we as Christians should pursue the mutual flourishing of our fellow believers. Of course we should lay down our desire for power for the sake of others. Fitzpatrick and Schumacher put to words things I have already been thinking- I really cannot say how persuasive their arguments are, but I think they recover a healthier way of relating that I hope is persuasive.
My criticisms are more what the authors don’t address. They start out by saying that much writing on gender and Christianity focuses too heavily on “who gets to be in charge.” By asking that, we have missed the greater point about how we should live. Accordingly, the authors do not take a stand on whether women can be elders. I wish they would. I understand why they did not- critics on either side of the debate would find the authors’ answer, and use that to either fully applaud the book or fully condemn it- missing their greater arguments. But if we are to live as brothers and sisters- wouldn’t this affect how should we understand 1 Timothy 2? I think it does.
I also wish the authors were a little bit more honest about structural and cultural elements of power, exclusion, and abuse related to gender in the church. Some of the social science referenced (which is not very much at all, to be fair) is a little lackluster. However I don’t think these detract from their main arguments. They include a chapter on testimonies from men and women working in and outside the church- which is nice, but felt almost superfluous to me.
In true Southern Baptist fashion, there is a study guide with group study discussion questions. I commend groups who are brave enough to read this together.
I imagine this book will be best for evangelicals wondering how to get out of the gender wars. To those outside of the evangelical tent, most of this will make no sense.
I commend the authors for writing on a topic with serious implications with gentleness and charity- they are much softer than I would be, and much more sympathetic to where people are coming from. I admire their dedication to understanding how Scripture informs our views on gender. Hopefully this will bring healing to men and women in our churches.
(This is gonna be a way longer review than necessary, so bear with me….I just have a lot of thoughts)
I once attended a church service in which the sermon was on “masculine” virtue (as if virtue could be masculine or feminine). It left a sour taste in my mouth. They claimed “the culture” was waging war against masculinity, who called it “toxic” (which is a misunderstanding of feminist critiques of the harms of patriarchy). The lesson was to “act like men.” Whatever that meant. This was supposed to be a “gender redeeming” church- but it felt like a return to a Mark Driscoll/Mars Hill- style masculinity crisis. I quietly disengaged and ended up leaving that church.
I share that anecdote because that story is not uncommon. Evangelicals have honed on gender in strange ways in recent decades- I don’t think that’s a controversial statement. The phrase “complementarian” was coined in 1988, and yet that is too often the litmus test for orthodoxy for many gender-obsessed evangelicals.
In light of the evangelical gender troubles, Fitzpatrick and Schumacher write this book. They propose a new [or rather, recover a long forgotten] framework for thinking about gender, focused on Christ’s incarnation and servanthood. Men and women are brothers and sisters in light of Christ’s new covenant. This fundamentally shapes how men and women ought to live and relate to one another.
I found this approach healing. Too often, much writing about “biblical” manhood or womanhood just repackages gender roles from the 1950s (which are largely a product of advertising, for the record) and puts a Christian sheen on them. The authors here outline a much healthier (and much more biblical) understanding of what it means to be brothers and sisters in Christ.
Now- I’m a grad student in a sociology department. I am much more critical about gender than the average evangelical. So some of the arguments seem obvious to me. Of course adelphoi is better translated as “brothers and sisters” rather than just “brothers.” Of course we as Christians should pursue the mutual flourishing of our fellow believers. Of course we should lay down our desire for power for the sake of others. Fitzpatrick and Schumacher put to words things I have already been thinking- I really cannot say how persuasive their arguments are, but I think they recover a healthier way of relating that I hope is persuasive.
My criticisms are more what the authors don’t address. They start out by saying that much writing on gender and Christianity focuses too heavily on “who gets to be in charge.” By asking that, we have missed the greater point about how we should live. Accordingly, the authors do not take a stand on whether women can be elders. I wish they would. I understand why they did not- critics on either side of the debate would find the authors’ answer, and use that to either fully applaud the book or fully condemn it- missing their greater arguments. But if we are to live as brothers and sisters- wouldn’t this affect how should we understand 1 Timothy 2? I think it does.
I also wish the authors were a little bit more honest about structural and cultural elements of power, exclusion, and abuse related to gender in the church. Some of the social science referenced (which is not very much at all, to be fair) is a little lackluster. However I don’t think these detract from their main arguments. They include a chapter on testimonies from men and women working in and outside the church- which is nice, but felt almost superfluous to me.
In true Southern Baptist fashion, there is a study guide with group study discussion questions. I commend groups who are brave enough to read this together.
I imagine this book will be best for evangelicals wondering how to get out of the gender wars. To those outside of the evangelical tent, most of this will make no sense.
I commend the authors for writing on a topic with serious implications with gentleness and charity- they are much softer than I would be, and much more sympathetic to where people are coming from. I admire their dedication to understanding how Scripture informs our views on gender. Hopefully this will bring healing to men and women in our churches.
June 1, 2022
Excellent, biblical look at what it means for brothers and sisters to flourish together in the church.
September 15, 2024
This book helps believers be reminded what it looks like to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ!
Brothers, we need to value, encourage, love, and serve our sisters in Christ! The Lord has gifted them in amazing ways and we need them!
Sister's, need to value, encourage, love and serve your brothers in Christ! The Lord has gifted them in amazing ways and we need them!
Both are gifted in amazing ways to serve and love the body of Christ! Thank you Eric and Elyse for writing this book! I'm both challenged and encouraged by this book! Will be chewing on this one for awhile!
Brothers, we need to value, encourage, love, and serve our sisters in Christ! The Lord has gifted them in amazing ways and we need them!
Sister's, need to value, encourage, love and serve your brothers in Christ! The Lord has gifted them in amazing ways and we need them!
Both are gifted in amazing ways to serve and love the body of Christ! Thank you Eric and Elyse for writing this book! I'm both challenged and encouraged by this book! Will be chewing on this one for awhile!
October 11, 2022
I chewed on this one for a while. This book is one I wish every ministry leader would read. Walking the way of Christ—the way of humility—in our brotherhood and sisterhood is the way toward mutual flourishing.
July 10, 2022
If you are looking for a book that offers guidance on navigating the current cultural conversations on sex, gender, LGBTQIA+, etc. this is not that book. If you are looking for an alternative take on the gender roles of male and female in the context of the church, some portions of this book do address that. Fitzpatrick and Schumacher aim to offer an alternative take on Christian gender roles to challenge the “purity culture” of late-90s/early 2000s American evangelicalism. This book is for those daughters who were taught “their primary reason for living was to get married, serve their husbands, and have children” and for those sons who were taught “they needed to take initiative and embrace their role as leaders and expect women to submit to them” (154). This book is for those who grew up in the extremes of evangelical family structures that were “terribly toxic, abusive, and patriarchal” (154).
The Strengths
Jesus & Gender is at its best when it is pointing out that New Testament virtue ethics are not (for the most part) gender-specific in their moral vision. This is not said enough. Both men and women are expected to be marked by the fruit of the spirit. Both men and women are expected to be characterized by the beatitudes. Jesus is a role model for both men and women (6, 52, 78-9, 135, 161, etc.). Both women and men are called to be Christocentric (or in this book’s term, “Christic”; 164), and that calling really looks very much the same for both women and men. The [understood white, American, evangelical] has wasted too much time on trying to invent ways in which Christocentrism looks different for males and females in terms of gender expression.
The authors do helpfully describe what they see as unique to the female and male experiences (94-5). Women, in light of how God has gendered their bodies, are predisposed “to be aware of the needs of the people around them and to learn what it is to nurture others” (95). Men’s life experiences are generally characterized by physical strength, and men must learn to restrain that strength for the work of servanthood (95). Yet even here, both men and women are made to “nurture and protect life.” Yes! In the context of marriage, husbands and wives are both called to a life of voluntary humility. As Jesus surrendered his desires for the sake of the flourishing of his bride (the church), so husbands are called to do likewise in the context of marriage. As the church has been “persuaded” by Christ, so a wife is “voluntarily inclined to be persuaded by [their husband] and cooperate with him to fulfill God’s mission” (146-7). Most importantly, women and men are both expected to look to Jesus for our one singular model of Christocentric living.
The Weaknesses
Very little of the book is actually related to gender roles. A large portion of the book argues that Christians should seek one another’s mutual flourishing. A fine point (does anyone dispute it?) but unrelated to the book’s subject. The book frequently depends on misleading stereotypes and misreading biblical texts. They make a martyr out of the widow who is forced by the Pharisees to give up all her livelihood, ignoring the conclusion Jesus draws from the event (his lament and critique of Sadducean leadership and abuse of the oppressed) and substituting their own (God is pleased when widows are destitute!; 38). The book asserts that nondenominational ecclesial polity is the only context in which men and women can flourish together successfully (39, 188, 217). The book frequently critiques common translations of biblical passages without any lexical support. The most notable example for their argument is Hebrews 13:17. The authors argue “obey” should be translated “persuade” instead. Yes, the semantic range of peitho can imply “persuade” in certain contexts. But on what grounds is it doing so in the context of Hebrews 13:17?
The book frequently appeals to strawmen, the most disappointing of which is in their chapter on parenting. The authors spend three pages describing the “diminished” and “second class” experience Israelite women would have supposedly experienced under Torah. Israelite women, we are told, did not know that they belonged to God! Indeed, they “had no way of knowing” (158). They were taught how to “care for a home” because the home was where boys lived. “She was second class, and she knew it” (157-9). No citations are provided for these claims, and no engagement is offered with biblical texts which strongly suggest otherwise (like Proverbs 31, famously). In their critique of Levitical purity laws, the authors misunderstand the logic of biblical perspectives on blood and purity and mistakenly critique Leviticus for prejudice against women. “Sons needed to be taught that they were the leaders. Daughters needed to be taught that they were the followers” (159). Throughout this section the authors assume, without any justification, that the experiences of Late Bronze Age Israelite boys and girls were exactly that of 1990s American evangelical purity culture. This section would have benefited from engagement with the many studies available on daily life in ancient Israel (such as Carol Meyers’ Rediscovering Eve). This section concludes by encouraging parents to stop looking to the OT for tips on how to instruct children, and instead rely solely on the NT (160). But such a conclusion ignores how Jesus reads the OT. This chapter would have been all the stronger by a more robust reflection on how Christians receive the OT as wisdom literature for instructing our daughters and sons.
Jesus & Gender’s strength is the book’s insistence that God has, for the good of humanity, gendered humanity intentionally into two complementary sexes and there is not much that distinguishes the two sexes in how they need to express gender roles. Both genders should be characterized by the beatitudes and the fruit of the spirit. This is an important point too often overlooked. But the few strengths of this book are mired by the pitfalls and distractions described above.
Disclosure: I received a copy of the book for free from the publisher. I was not asked to provide a positive review, and this in no way affected my review.
The Strengths
Jesus & Gender is at its best when it is pointing out that New Testament virtue ethics are not (for the most part) gender-specific in their moral vision. This is not said enough. Both men and women are expected to be marked by the fruit of the spirit. Both men and women are expected to be characterized by the beatitudes. Jesus is a role model for both men and women (6, 52, 78-9, 135, 161, etc.). Both women and men are called to be Christocentric (or in this book’s term, “Christic”; 164), and that calling really looks very much the same for both women and men. The [understood white, American, evangelical] has wasted too much time on trying to invent ways in which Christocentrism looks different for males and females in terms of gender expression.
The authors do helpfully describe what they see as unique to the female and male experiences (94-5). Women, in light of how God has gendered their bodies, are predisposed “to be aware of the needs of the people around them and to learn what it is to nurture others” (95). Men’s life experiences are generally characterized by physical strength, and men must learn to restrain that strength for the work of servanthood (95). Yet even here, both men and women are made to “nurture and protect life.” Yes! In the context of marriage, husbands and wives are both called to a life of voluntary humility. As Jesus surrendered his desires for the sake of the flourishing of his bride (the church), so husbands are called to do likewise in the context of marriage. As the church has been “persuaded” by Christ, so a wife is “voluntarily inclined to be persuaded by [their husband] and cooperate with him to fulfill God’s mission” (146-7). Most importantly, women and men are both expected to look to Jesus for our one singular model of Christocentric living.
The Weaknesses
Very little of the book is actually related to gender roles. A large portion of the book argues that Christians should seek one another’s mutual flourishing. A fine point (does anyone dispute it?) but unrelated to the book’s subject. The book frequently depends on misleading stereotypes and misreading biblical texts. They make a martyr out of the widow who is forced by the Pharisees to give up all her livelihood, ignoring the conclusion Jesus draws from the event (his lament and critique of Sadducean leadership and abuse of the oppressed) and substituting their own (God is pleased when widows are destitute!; 38). The book asserts that nondenominational ecclesial polity is the only context in which men and women can flourish together successfully (39, 188, 217). The book frequently critiques common translations of biblical passages without any lexical support. The most notable example for their argument is Hebrews 13:17. The authors argue “obey” should be translated “persuade” instead. Yes, the semantic range of peitho can imply “persuade” in certain contexts. But on what grounds is it doing so in the context of Hebrews 13:17?
The book frequently appeals to strawmen, the most disappointing of which is in their chapter on parenting. The authors spend three pages describing the “diminished” and “second class” experience Israelite women would have supposedly experienced under Torah. Israelite women, we are told, did not know that they belonged to God! Indeed, they “had no way of knowing” (158). They were taught how to “care for a home” because the home was where boys lived. “She was second class, and she knew it” (157-9). No citations are provided for these claims, and no engagement is offered with biblical texts which strongly suggest otherwise (like Proverbs 31, famously). In their critique of Levitical purity laws, the authors misunderstand the logic of biblical perspectives on blood and purity and mistakenly critique Leviticus for prejudice against women. “Sons needed to be taught that they were the leaders. Daughters needed to be taught that they were the followers” (159). Throughout this section the authors assume, without any justification, that the experiences of Late Bronze Age Israelite boys and girls were exactly that of 1990s American evangelical purity culture. This section would have benefited from engagement with the many studies available on daily life in ancient Israel (such as Carol Meyers’ Rediscovering Eve). This section concludes by encouraging parents to stop looking to the OT for tips on how to instruct children, and instead rely solely on the NT (160). But such a conclusion ignores how Jesus reads the OT. This chapter would have been all the stronger by a more robust reflection on how Christians receive the OT as wisdom literature for instructing our daughters and sons.
Jesus & Gender’s strength is the book’s insistence that God has, for the good of humanity, gendered humanity intentionally into two complementary sexes and there is not much that distinguishes the two sexes in how they need to express gender roles. Both genders should be characterized by the beatitudes and the fruit of the spirit. This is an important point too often overlooked. But the few strengths of this book are mired by the pitfalls and distractions described above.
Disclosure: I received a copy of the book for free from the publisher. I was not asked to provide a positive review, and this in no way affected my review.
February 3, 2023
Great book! And super helpful in the process of understanding our roles as brothers and sisters in Christ.
December 11, 2023
A really thoughtful book on the impact of the gospel on male-female relationships in the church, the home, etc. I appreciated that the authors rejected the egalitarian/complementarian binary and offered a perspective that looked far beyond gender roles to matters of the heart. Some of the chapters were a little repetitive, but overall it was an insightful read.
April 9, 2022
This book will likely frustrate some people (due in part to the co-authors' conscious decisions regarding which questions they're going to address and not address in the book). I best loved the section that discussed the Godhead's mutuality in creation and our mutual cooperation in creatively partnering with others, and I like how that's mirrored in how we hear directly from others in the final section.
May 31, 2023
I wanted to rate this higher. Perhaps a 3.5 is appropriate. The authors' approach to the topic is indeed refreshing and unique, and they do share some helpful insights along the way. Their repeated emphasis on "voluntary humiliation, reciprocal benevolence, and mutual flourishing" as shaping the lives of Christian males and females is a helpful emphasis.
However, the authors seem to downplay the value of the Old Testament as Christian Scripture that has something right and good to say about how men and women are to function among God's people and in the context of a family. I cannot follow them on this point, and, unfortunately, this rejection (too strong?) of the Old Testament or, at least, their divorce of New Testament teaching from Old Testament teaching impacts their arguments at several points. Perhaps the most challenging idea pitched against a "traditional" Christian understanding of marriage and family is stated plainly on pg. 142: "Nor is the husband ever exhorted to 'lead' his wife or be the 'spiritual leader' in the family. Some extrapolate 'lead' from the wife's call to submit. But that is simply an extrapolation." While I agree that Christians might need to check how we overemphasize the idea of a husband's "spiritual leadership" in the home (however we might define that), I don't agree that the idea is mere extrapolation. Couldn't it be a legitimate and indeed necessary inference when the New Testament's teaching about marriage is held tightly together and in harmony with Old Testament teaching? (One still needs to wrestle with what that concept actually means and looks like in a particular marriage.)
Nevertheless, their description of "headship" is, if not unique, an appropriately refreshing shift of emphasis from what I've often heard: "If headship means anything, it means the husband is the first to die for the sake of the marriage. He will sacrifice his dreams, ambitions, reputation, and potential for the sake of being one with her" (pg. 143). Likewise, in their direction for husbands, the emphasis on prioritizing the flourishing of the wife is certainly spot-on, drawing from Paul's teaching and Jesus's example. And, on the other side of the relationship, their discussion of "submission" I found to be clear and helpful.
It is chapter 9, on parenting, where their comments most clearly seem to reflect a minimization of the Old Testament. As they sketched out a summary of how boys and girls were viewed and valued differently in the Old Testament, I found myself repeatedly thinking that they were guilty of the kind of "extrapolation" they had earlier accused folks of with regard to "spiritual leadership" in marriage. The strong contrast the authors present between New Covenant and Old Covenant regarding gender I do not believe is appropriate. There are other ways to sketch out the significance of circumcision, for example, that make better sense of what (if anything) that communicates about females in the Old Covenant.
I also would've liked more discussion about 1 Corinthians 11. While the authors do touch on that chapter very briefly, part of their argument throughout the book is reflected in the chapter on parenting on pg. 162, with this line: "Our children don't need to be taught how to be masculine or feminine." While I agree with the sentence that precedes that one--"What we are saying is that any stereotypical straightjacketing of gender in any way is harmful, exasperating, disheartening, and completely unbiblical"--I'm not convinced that the alternative is no gender distinctions at all. One common way of understanding 1 Corinthians 11 is that it reflects Paul's instructions that indicate a certain value of reflecting culturally-recognized gender distinctions. Immediately following their rejection of needing to teach our children how to be masculine or feminine, they add, "This isn't Sparta or Athens. This is the New Jerusalem, and our children need to be taught the lifegiving, soul-nourishing freedom of justification through faith alone." This might reflect an overly realized eschatology. While we are citizens of the New Jerusalem now, the New Jerusalem hasn't yet come down out of heaven (Rev. 21:2). We remain pilgrims who do, in fact, live in places like Sparta or Athens (or Chicago or Shanghai).
There are certainly other strong points in the book, but the lack of serious engagement with the Old Testament, in a way that shows its organic unity with the New Testament, holding together elements of continuity and discontinuity, leaves out something crucial. Emphasizing discontinuities where there may, in fact, be more continuity skews the presentation and blunts the conclusions. The book is valuable for group study, and the study guide provided at the end of the book provides excellent summaries of each chapter and questions that should cultivate helpful discussion for interested groups.
However, the authors seem to downplay the value of the Old Testament as Christian Scripture that has something right and good to say about how men and women are to function among God's people and in the context of a family. I cannot follow them on this point, and, unfortunately, this rejection (too strong?) of the Old Testament or, at least, their divorce of New Testament teaching from Old Testament teaching impacts their arguments at several points. Perhaps the most challenging idea pitched against a "traditional" Christian understanding of marriage and family is stated plainly on pg. 142: "Nor is the husband ever exhorted to 'lead' his wife or be the 'spiritual leader' in the family. Some extrapolate 'lead' from the wife's call to submit. But that is simply an extrapolation." While I agree that Christians might need to check how we overemphasize the idea of a husband's "spiritual leadership" in the home (however we might define that), I don't agree that the idea is mere extrapolation. Couldn't it be a legitimate and indeed necessary inference when the New Testament's teaching about marriage is held tightly together and in harmony with Old Testament teaching? (One still needs to wrestle with what that concept actually means and looks like in a particular marriage.)
Nevertheless, their description of "headship" is, if not unique, an appropriately refreshing shift of emphasis from what I've often heard: "If headship means anything, it means the husband is the first to die for the sake of the marriage. He will sacrifice his dreams, ambitions, reputation, and potential for the sake of being one with her" (pg. 143). Likewise, in their direction for husbands, the emphasis on prioritizing the flourishing of the wife is certainly spot-on, drawing from Paul's teaching and Jesus's example. And, on the other side of the relationship, their discussion of "submission" I found to be clear and helpful.
It is chapter 9, on parenting, where their comments most clearly seem to reflect a minimization of the Old Testament. As they sketched out a summary of how boys and girls were viewed and valued differently in the Old Testament, I found myself repeatedly thinking that they were guilty of the kind of "extrapolation" they had earlier accused folks of with regard to "spiritual leadership" in marriage. The strong contrast the authors present between New Covenant and Old Covenant regarding gender I do not believe is appropriate. There are other ways to sketch out the significance of circumcision, for example, that make better sense of what (if anything) that communicates about females in the Old Covenant.
I also would've liked more discussion about 1 Corinthians 11. While the authors do touch on that chapter very briefly, part of their argument throughout the book is reflected in the chapter on parenting on pg. 162, with this line: "Our children don't need to be taught how to be masculine or feminine." While I agree with the sentence that precedes that one--"What we are saying is that any stereotypical straightjacketing of gender in any way is harmful, exasperating, disheartening, and completely unbiblical"--I'm not convinced that the alternative is no gender distinctions at all. One common way of understanding 1 Corinthians 11 is that it reflects Paul's instructions that indicate a certain value of reflecting culturally-recognized gender distinctions. Immediately following their rejection of needing to teach our children how to be masculine or feminine, they add, "This isn't Sparta or Athens. This is the New Jerusalem, and our children need to be taught the lifegiving, soul-nourishing freedom of justification through faith alone." This might reflect an overly realized eschatology. While we are citizens of the New Jerusalem now, the New Jerusalem hasn't yet come down out of heaven (Rev. 21:2). We remain pilgrims who do, in fact, live in places like Sparta or Athens (or Chicago or Shanghai).
There are certainly other strong points in the book, but the lack of serious engagement with the Old Testament, in a way that shows its organic unity with the New Testament, holding together elements of continuity and discontinuity, leaves out something crucial. Emphasizing discontinuities where there may, in fact, be more continuity skews the presentation and blunts the conclusions. The book is valuable for group study, and the study guide provided at the end of the book provides excellent summaries of each chapter and questions that should cultivate helpful discussion for interested groups.
May 5, 2022
This book is both unapologetically bold and exceedingly gracious, and I’m so thankful these authors’ voices have joined the conversation surrounding roles and relationships of men and women in the church. They do not offer a formula or set of rules to follow, but rather point us back to the gospel and our example in Christ; calling for humility, benevolence, and mutual flourishing as guiding principals for both men and woman. They directly state they have “purposefully avoided the culture wars,” with the intention to challenge everyone on both sides to “lay down their swords, and pick up the towel and basin.” This book makes me so thankful for the brothers in my life that have been committed to my flourishing, and I have been challenged to consider more fully my calling as a sister and mother in not only my biological family but in the family of God.
I wish “Jesus & Gender” was left out of the title as it does not accurately capture for me the unifying and benevolent call this book offers to live as genuine “Sisters and Brothers in Christ.”
I wish “Jesus & Gender” was left out of the title as it does not accurately capture for me the unifying and benevolent call this book offers to live as genuine “Sisters and Brothers in Christ.”
April 27, 2022
Some may find this book frustrating because it feels like the authors are dancing around the big issues like "What exactly does headship mean?" or "What functions may a woman perform in the church?" However, they made it abundantly clear that taking hard stances on these issues was not their goal. (And there are many resources already available to study these topics in depth.) I appreciated their exhortation to all believers, regardless of how one's interpretation of the Scriptures directs the specifics of their practices, to look to Christ as the model for our relationships as brothers and sisters in Him. None of the Christ-life has anything to do with the question of "Who gets to be the boss?", and with that I heartily agree.
November 14, 2024
A refreshing and necessary corrective that doesn’t go beyond Scripture! The author’s examine how our understanding of Scripture on this subject affects our homes, churches, and society. Their observations are spot on in my experience and quite helpful.
There are places where I thought their arguments could have been strengthened by a more robust unpacking of Scripture. I’d especially recommend Julie Zine Coleman’s exegesis of Ephesians 5 and 1 Corinthians 11 in her book, “On Purpose”.
Some may be disappointed in the fact that the author’s don’t address ordination or explain common complementarían/egalitarian arguments at various points. For those folks, I’d recommend the aforementioned book by Coleman and/or Terran Williams’s book, “How God Sees Women”.
There are places where I thought their arguments could have been strengthened by a more robust unpacking of Scripture. I’d especially recommend Julie Zine Coleman’s exegesis of Ephesians 5 and 1 Corinthians 11 in her book, “On Purpose”.
Some may be disappointed in the fact that the author’s don’t address ordination or explain common complementarían/egalitarian arguments at various points. For those folks, I’d recommend the aforementioned book by Coleman and/or Terran Williams’s book, “How God Sees Women”.
May 6, 2022
“No authority may be exercised in any manner other than that which resembles crucifixion for the sake of those you love.”
As the authors write in the introduction, “the gospel, and in particular the incarnation, should transform how we think about what it means to be male and female.”
The authors repeatedly point towards Jesus’ example as they develop the idea of Christic Manhood and Womanhood.
Highly recommend this and “Worthy” by the same authors.
As the authors write in the introduction, “the gospel, and in particular the incarnation, should transform how we think about what it means to be male and female.”
The authors repeatedly point towards Jesus’ example as they develop the idea of Christic Manhood and Womanhood.
Highly recommend this and “Worthy” by the same authors.
April 28, 2022
Wonderfully written explanation of a “third way” type of approach to questions surrounding the roles of men and women in the church and in every day life. Their approach, “Christic men and women,” provides to think about and reflect on outside the typical complementarian vs egalitarianism binary.
May 15, 2022
What a beautifully encouraging book on living together as the family of God in Christ. The repetition of "sisters and brothers" was deeply moving and heartwarming. Let's get more Christic, church!
July 10, 2022
From beginning to end, it’s a wonderful book. When you understand that the purpose is not to fill in all the practical implications of their statements, but instead to emphasize that God’s glory is revealed through men and women loving one another and serving our King together, you will be helped and encouraged. I highly recommend this book.
Having said this, there were a couple sections that left me confused.
On page 158, the author states that the value of a girl in the old covenant was always diminished. Is this suggesting that God intentionally diminished the value of a girl under his good law? I think there could be other conclusions than the one they came to OR the wording could be different to help explain.
In the same section, they speak of the sign of circumcision only being a physical sign boys can take on and thus a sign of male value. But what if circumcision wasn’t about value, but about pointing to the One Man to come who would be the Mediator, thus circumcision is more about anticipation than value?
In an early section, which I unfortunately didn’t mark so I can’t find it, the author quotes from someone to say that whenever we talk of leadership, it means suppression of someone else. Then the quote is affirmed. However, in the last chapter, the authors state that God does call people to leadership, but always in submission to Jesus and by willing choice of others. I think there needs more clarity of verbiage on this. I wholeheartedly affirm the last chapter, but was confused by the earlier chapter.
Finally, in the chapter that spoke of gender roles, I appreciated so much, but the authors went as far as to say that there really isn’t any masculine or feminine commands outside of clearly gendered purposes. I actually agree with much of what was stated, however, I think people who cross-dress would completely agree with the chapter. The argument I’ve heard from a close family member is they agree with their biological gender. They love Jesus and the gospel, but they don’t know why what one wears really makes a difference. They just like to look and dress uniquely, whether that’s a dress or jeans or short shorts. Why buy into the stereotype? To this, I do think there are some New Testament passages regarding clothing that affirms our gender and seeks to show contentment with the gender God has given to us. I believe the authors would affirm this, but I can’t help but wonder if they went to an extreme to make their argument.
All this said, there is so much good in this book. Like with “Worthy,” I will be recommending this one, too.
Having said this, there were a couple sections that left me confused.
On page 158, the author states that the value of a girl in the old covenant was always diminished. Is this suggesting that God intentionally diminished the value of a girl under his good law? I think there could be other conclusions than the one they came to OR the wording could be different to help explain.
In the same section, they speak of the sign of circumcision only being a physical sign boys can take on and thus a sign of male value. But what if circumcision wasn’t about value, but about pointing to the One Man to come who would be the Mediator, thus circumcision is more about anticipation than value?
In an early section, which I unfortunately didn’t mark so I can’t find it, the author quotes from someone to say that whenever we talk of leadership, it means suppression of someone else. Then the quote is affirmed. However, in the last chapter, the authors state that God does call people to leadership, but always in submission to Jesus and by willing choice of others. I think there needs more clarity of verbiage on this. I wholeheartedly affirm the last chapter, but was confused by the earlier chapter.
Finally, in the chapter that spoke of gender roles, I appreciated so much, but the authors went as far as to say that there really isn’t any masculine or feminine commands outside of clearly gendered purposes. I actually agree with much of what was stated, however, I think people who cross-dress would completely agree with the chapter. The argument I’ve heard from a close family member is they agree with their biological gender. They love Jesus and the gospel, but they don’t know why what one wears really makes a difference. They just like to look and dress uniquely, whether that’s a dress or jeans or short shorts. Why buy into the stereotype? To this, I do think there are some New Testament passages regarding clothing that affirms our gender and seeks to show contentment with the gender God has given to us. I believe the authors would affirm this, but I can’t help but wonder if they went to an extreme to make their argument.
All this said, there is so much good in this book. Like with “Worthy,” I will be recommending this one, too.
October 28, 2025
I loved their last book and loved this one even more. In fact I couldn’t set it down, which is rare for me and my non-fiction lol. Honestly, they expressed my heart in a way that’s been often-times muddled or knotted up, when it comes to this issue. I had so many moments of, “yes that’s what I’ve wondered,” or, “oh man I’ve been asking that for years.”
In short, they argue to lay down the question of “who’s in charge.” Put down your sword and pick up your towel and basin. Any discussion surrounding male and female that is not rooted and grounded in the Gospel and the incarnation of Christ has already missed the mark before it’s begun. This book encourages Christ-likeness for all image-bearers, male or female.
I appreciated very much the distinction between men and women in the OT verses men and women new covenant. One small bone to pick is it felt like they picked on the wisdom of the OT a bit (like can we talk about how helpful Proverbs is for parenting?!).
Anyway, love these two authors. Please know this book has zero to do with the transgender debate.
In short, they argue to lay down the question of “who’s in charge.” Put down your sword and pick up your towel and basin. Any discussion surrounding male and female that is not rooted and grounded in the Gospel and the incarnation of Christ has already missed the mark before it’s begun. This book encourages Christ-likeness for all image-bearers, male or female.
I appreciated very much the distinction between men and women in the OT verses men and women new covenant. One small bone to pick is it felt like they picked on the wisdom of the OT a bit (like can we talk about how helpful Proverbs is for parenting?!).
Anyway, love these two authors. Please know this book has zero to do with the transgender debate.
June 6, 2022
This book makes straight paths in the wilderness of professedly-evangelical patriarchy. It ought to be idol-smashing, paradigm-shifting, movement-derailing (or perhaps re-railing). Like Eric and Elyse's previous collaboration, Worthy, this book corrects, with clarity and truth, damaging teachings about gender within evangelicalism.
The thesis of the book is that Christians should look like Jesus. It hardly seems controversial, but it's a revolutionary concept in the world of Christian patriarchy, where women are told to be Proverbs 31 wives and men are told to, I don't know, kill and grill things probably.
People who think the entire discussion about gender in the church boils down to "who can be a pastor" are going to be annoyed, again. As with their previous book together, Worthy, Eric and Elyse deliberately refuse to get into it, because that's not the point.
At the same time, they're still complementarian, still conservative, still believers in the inerrancy of Scripture and a Biblical sexual ethic. This will make a lot of rage-phase theobros who don't know the difference between "I think" and "God says" mad. Good.
The included study guide and leader's guide is extensive and thoughtful, so you don't need to buy anything else to use this book for small group or Sunday school studies. Buy a case. Have the class. Start the healing.
The thesis of the book is that Christians should look like Jesus. It hardly seems controversial, but it's a revolutionary concept in the world of Christian patriarchy, where women are told to be Proverbs 31 wives and men are told to, I don't know, kill and grill things probably.
People who think the entire discussion about gender in the church boils down to "who can be a pastor" are going to be annoyed, again. As with their previous book together, Worthy, Eric and Elyse deliberately refuse to get into it, because that's not the point.
At the same time, they're still complementarian, still conservative, still believers in the inerrancy of Scripture and a Biblical sexual ethic. This will make a lot of rage-phase theobros who don't know the difference between "I think" and "God says" mad. Good.
The included study guide and leader's guide is extensive and thoughtful, so you don't need to buy anything else to use this book for small group or Sunday school studies. Buy a case. Have the class. Start the healing.
October 19, 2022
I've been wanting to read this since I heard Elyse and Eric on the Daily Grace podcast. A really interesting and thought provoking book challenging stereotypical gender roles among Christians.
May 29, 2022
"If we focus our concern and efforts on who is getting more glory – men or women – then we fail at the start. Competition between the sexes is not God's purpose; it is a distraction from and enemy of God's purpose. We are to 'do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit.' God did not create men and women to compete for glory amongst themselves but rather to cooperate together for his glory." (73)
"Male and female were created so that they could rule together and experience the satisfying harmony of different voices blending together that would produce a symphonic song of living time and creative acts in worship to their Creator. They were to be one in unity while maintaining their distinctiveness. They, like the Three-In-One, were to know unity in diversity." (90-91)
"Male and female were created so that they could rule together and experience the satisfying harmony of different voices blending together that would produce a symphonic song of living time and creative acts in worship to their Creator. They were to be one in unity while maintaining their distinctiveness. They, like the Three-In-One, were to know unity in diversity." (90-91)
May 23, 2022
I greatly appreciate the focus of this book—what it looks like to reflect Christ as men and women who proclaim to follow Christ. Elyse and Eric write in ways that are respectful, biblical, nuanced, hopeful, and thought-provoking.
I highly recommend reading it with a friend or a group, so you can discuss as you read. A friend and I read it together, which provided a helpful way to process the content and think about it with our church context in mind. Would love to see ministries and church staffs read and discuss this together!
I highly recommend reading it with a friend or a group, so you can discuss as you read. A friend and I read it together, which provided a helpful way to process the content and think about it with our church context in mind. Would love to see ministries and church staffs read and discuss this together!
June 13, 2022
This companion book to the authors’ other work, “Worthy,” is an equally essential read for men and women, Christian and non-Christian alike.
May 3, 2022
Inhaled this book, as it’s a very relevant topic right now. The authors do a great job clarifying and correcting some very important ways that the church has erred with regards to the sibling nature of our relationships as men and women. This book will be really useful for churches where the mutual value of men and women needs to be redeemed and restored to health. Excited for the kingdom work this will accomplish! Would love to read more from them about the uniqueness of women and men and how our strengths work together to benefit the whole family.
August 27, 2022
Excellent, biblically based book on Christic men and women, their co-relationship with Christ, their relationships as siblings to each other and Christ, and the devastating outcomes resulting from power struggles.
Neither egalitarian or patriarchal, the book makes the case that who has control over whom is the wrong question, and that egalitarianism is an outgrowth of pushing g so hard against patriarchy that it misses the point as much in the other direction.
While not perfect, it is one of the best looks at what it means to be men and women of Christ that I've ever read.
Neither egalitarian or patriarchal, the book makes the case that who has control over whom is the wrong question, and that egalitarianism is an outgrowth of pushing g so hard against patriarchy that it misses the point as much in the other direction.
While not perfect, it is one of the best looks at what it means to be men and women of Christ that I've ever read.
August 7, 2022
Helpful book on how men and women in the church can care for and minister to one another. The authors don’t pick a side on some of the questions as to what men and women are allowed to do in the church but focus on how the Bible challenges men and women to relate to one another as brothers and sisters by loving one another and being devoted to mutual flourishing.
January 4, 2023
This book, accomplishes exactly what it sets out to do: to shift the way we approach and discuss the topic of men and women as they relate to one another and function within the kingdom of God from a conversation of “who’s boss” to a conversation informed by the gospel and the person of Christ.
December 6, 2022
I really wanted to like this book more... but at the end of the day, maybe it wasn't a book written for me. I really resonate with the idea of putting forth a positive vision of an idea, rather than critiquing the various positions you find errant. That's generally my approach in my teaching as well. Build a positive case, and critique as needed.
But in this book Fitzpatrick and Schumacher try to carve out some territory that doesn't fit into the typical egalitarian-complementarian divide. Noble goal. I don't think they succeed though, as there are so many open questions they leave on the table. They are adamant for equality, and they also insist on gender differentiation as a created good, but they are incredibly vague as to how one might work out that differentiation. In society, it seems they think that differentiation to be incidental. Perhaps it's more significant in the realms of church or family, but it's hard to know.
More helpful in the same spirit is Tim and Kathy Keller's chapter on roles in The Meaning of Marriage, and Kathy Keller's short book Jesus, Justice and Gender Roles.
I still find myself going back to C.S. Lewis' essay "On Priestesses in the Church," especially for the insight that advocates for gender difference (complementarians) often have a strong doctrine of creation, but not an equally robust appreciation for the fall. Lewis believes that sin has so distorted relationships between gender (usually at the expense of women), that it's not safe to try and work out these differences in society generally. Except, perhaps, in the church and the family. And even there, with lots of controls.
Anyway, I really wanted to like this book. I appreciated their vision and their goals. But I fear the book ended up being too vague to be really helpful.
But in this book Fitzpatrick and Schumacher try to carve out some territory that doesn't fit into the typical egalitarian-complementarian divide. Noble goal. I don't think they succeed though, as there are so many open questions they leave on the table. They are adamant for equality, and they also insist on gender differentiation as a created good, but they are incredibly vague as to how one might work out that differentiation. In society, it seems they think that differentiation to be incidental. Perhaps it's more significant in the realms of church or family, but it's hard to know.
More helpful in the same spirit is Tim and Kathy Keller's chapter on roles in The Meaning of Marriage, and Kathy Keller's short book Jesus, Justice and Gender Roles.
I still find myself going back to C.S. Lewis' essay "On Priestesses in the Church," especially for the insight that advocates for gender difference (complementarians) often have a strong doctrine of creation, but not an equally robust appreciation for the fall. Lewis believes that sin has so distorted relationships between gender (usually at the expense of women), that it's not safe to try and work out these differences in society generally. Except, perhaps, in the church and the family. And even there, with lots of controls.
Anyway, I really wanted to like this book. I appreciated their vision and their goals. But I fear the book ended up being too vague to be really helpful.
July 15, 2025
This book was confusing to read. On one page I found myself furiously agreeing with the biblical principles they were raising, and yet on the next page I would find myself bewildered by the poor handling of biblical texts and seemingly unfounded theological ideas. A particularly disappointing example was in the discussion of men and women in the Old Covenant (ch 9). Here the authors (speaking of 'daughters') say that although women were "welcomed into the household of faith, her value was always diminished... She was second class and she knew it." In contrast to much of the book which rightly affirms the goodness and beauty of God's design for men and women, here they do a u-turn and speak of how demeaning God's law is. As they turn to consider the New Covenant it almost seems like the biggest change is that women are now equal with men, with no emphasis on what changes for the guys at all. What an underwhelming take on what Christ has won for us! The discussion here lacks theological rigour and the exegesis is superficial at best.
Whilst surrounding chapters do indeed have a rich variety of good things to say (not least their focus on the incarnation of Christ and his role as a model for men and women), I believe there are many other books which handle the topic with more clarity, consistency, and care.
Whilst surrounding chapters do indeed have a rich variety of good things to say (not least their focus on the incarnation of Christ and his role as a model for men and women), I believe there are many other books which handle the topic with more clarity, consistency, and care.
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