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Ain't That a Mother: Postpartum, Palsy, and Everything in Between
From pasties to postpartum and everything in between.
No one said motherhood would be easy. For Adiba Nelson, the journey to parenthood started with a big bang and continues with a breakdown (or two) and several “why?” questions for God.
Witty and bold, Afro-Latina Adiba grew up in survival mode. Her sometimes complicated relationship with her strong-willed, vibrant, religious mother marked her views of mothering and love. When a chance encounter with a tall-ish, brown-skinned brotha at Ruby Tuesday’s right before closing time collided with a Jill Scott song and the right time of the month, Adiba found herself unexpectedly pregnant. She also found herself unexpectedly falling into the same relationship patterns of the matriarchs before her—the ones she swore she’d never end up in.
Mom to a new baby with high medical needs and a slew of hardships that just didn’t seem to quit, she set out on a reckoning that was just as generational as it was personal. Along the way, Adiba never loses her heart or her humour. This is a true love story, but the kind about a woman loving herself enough to change the course of her life for herself, her child, and the women after her as well as before. From pasties to postpartum depression, Ain’t That a Mother is not your average motherhood memoir—and Adiba is not your average mother.
The in-between moments and the self-revelations are where this bold and brilliant story of love, family secrets, and lots of “what the…?” really shines. Just like parenting, the story is messy, but the reward is incredibly satisfying.
No one said motherhood would be easy. For Adiba Nelson, the journey to parenthood started with a big bang and continues with a breakdown (or two) and several “why?” questions for God.
Witty and bold, Afro-Latina Adiba grew up in survival mode. Her sometimes complicated relationship with her strong-willed, vibrant, religious mother marked her views of mothering and love. When a chance encounter with a tall-ish, brown-skinned brotha at Ruby Tuesday’s right before closing time collided with a Jill Scott song and the right time of the month, Adiba found herself unexpectedly pregnant. She also found herself unexpectedly falling into the same relationship patterns of the matriarchs before her—the ones she swore she’d never end up in.
Mom to a new baby with high medical needs and a slew of hardships that just didn’t seem to quit, she set out on a reckoning that was just as generational as it was personal. Along the way, Adiba never loses her heart or her humour. This is a true love story, but the kind about a woman loving herself enough to change the course of her life for herself, her child, and the women after her as well as before. From pasties to postpartum depression, Ain’t That a Mother is not your average motherhood memoir—and Adiba is not your average mother.
The in-between moments and the self-revelations are where this bold and brilliant story of love, family secrets, and lots of “what the…?” really shines. Just like parenting, the story is messy, but the reward is incredibly satisfying.
240 pages, Hardcover
Published May 3, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
June 1, 2022
I received an advance reader copy of this book to listen to in exchange for an honest review via netgalley and the publishers.
Ain't That A Mother is an audio book I will listen to again and again! Nothing I write will do this book justice! Adiba Nelson is a strong, independent and amazing lady. She's faced such struggles and highs and has come so far in her life but not without sacrifice and a fight. I received the audio and pdf of this book and looked through the pdf at the photographs. Adibas daughter is so beautiful and such a special little girl. She really is a credit to you Adiba (if your reading this). This book was an amazing listen and I felt so connected to Adiba through her story. I felt like I was chatting with a friend! Going through hell myself right now, this was the perfect timing for me to listen to this book. Not only has it been helping me through what I'm going through, but it's given me strength and made me feel not alone.
This is definitely a book everyone should read or listen to. I'm so glad I got the audio book as it was much more engaging than the physical copy . Thank you for sharing your emotional story Adiba! You've given me light and hope during the darkest of times and I will always be grateful for that!
Ain't That A Mother is an audio book I will listen to again and again! Nothing I write will do this book justice! Adiba Nelson is a strong, independent and amazing lady. She's faced such struggles and highs and has come so far in her life but not without sacrifice and a fight. I received the audio and pdf of this book and looked through the pdf at the photographs. Adibas daughter is so beautiful and such a special little girl. She really is a credit to you Adiba (if your reading this). This book was an amazing listen and I felt so connected to Adiba through her story. I felt like I was chatting with a friend! Going through hell myself right now, this was the perfect timing for me to listen to this book. Not only has it been helping me through what I'm going through, but it's given me strength and made me feel not alone.
This is definitely a book everyone should read or listen to. I'm so glad I got the audio book as it was much more engaging than the physical copy . Thank you for sharing your emotional story Adiba! You've given me light and hope during the darkest of times and I will always be grateful for that!
April 30, 2022
This memoir was an emotional roller coaster but also such a wonderful story of one Afro-Latina single mother's journey with self-love, motherhood and personal success. Adiba narrates the audiobook herself and I highly recommend listening to this book. She has such a distinct voice, I can't imagine reading her story any other way.
The best parts for me were how she managed to keep going through extreme poverty, bad luck and abusive relationships, all while loving on her disabled daughter as only the very best mothers can. She talks so openly about her past mistakes and hardships and her story is truly inspiring for anyone wondering if there is a way out of cycles of abuse.
I especially enjoyed hearing about her experience with pregnancy, loss and learning to advocate for her disabled daughter. Being a caregiver of a child with disabilities is so hard, but trying to do it as a single mother, struggling to just pay the bills is so much harder. Highly recommend this one and much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance listening copy!!
The best parts for me were how she managed to keep going through extreme poverty, bad luck and abusive relationships, all while loving on her disabled daughter as only the very best mothers can. She talks so openly about her past mistakes and hardships and her story is truly inspiring for anyone wondering if there is a way out of cycles of abuse.
I especially enjoyed hearing about her experience with pregnancy, loss and learning to advocate for her disabled daughter. Being a caregiver of a child with disabilities is so hard, but trying to do it as a single mother, struggling to just pay the bills is so much harder. Highly recommend this one and much thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance listening copy!!
May 2, 2022
Thanks to Netgalley and Blackstone Publishing for the eARC and audio ARC of this! I switched back and forth while I was reading.
This was really emotional, and I spent the entire book swinging between the teary lows as the punches seemed to keep coming and rooting for the highs to work out better this time. I think this is exactly the kind of memoir that’s needed, the one that either validates your lived experience by showing you someone else getting through it or that shows you a window into a life that’s unlike your own, but that you can still find ways to relate to and learn from and empathize with. She doesn’t shy away from sharing hard moments or ones that might paint her in a bad light or be judged, and I hope that more good moments are coming for her and her daughter.
This was really emotional, and I spent the entire book swinging between the teary lows as the punches seemed to keep coming and rooting for the highs to work out better this time. I think this is exactly the kind of memoir that’s needed, the one that either validates your lived experience by showing you someone else getting through it or that shows you a window into a life that’s unlike your own, but that you can still find ways to relate to and learn from and empathize with. She doesn’t shy away from sharing hard moments or ones that might paint her in a bad light or be judged, and I hope that more good moments are coming for her and her daughter.
June 12, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for allowing me to read this book early! Do I agree with everything Adiba did in her life and all the choices she made? No. But neither does she. This book is told with transparency, vulnerability, humor, heartbreak and humility. Adiba Nelson is an author who has tried to break generational trends in order to make a better life for her daughter. She is a MAMA who fights for her baby and I love that so much. Her daughter has Cerebral Palsy and I learned so much about the disability from this book and yet thats not even the point. Hearing Adiba read her own story was very powerful. There are times where she is really choked up and that brought me to have lump in my throat in a way I probably wouldn't have otherwise. I also loved her sense of humor and her humility. This book was thoroughly entertaining and her pursuit of constant growth and betterment is inspiring.
April 25, 2022
I absolutely love, love, LOVE the brutal honesty that is Ain’t That a Mother! Adiba had a gift for unveiling the deplorable and candid nature of motherhood and domesticity that are so often glamorized. She is 100% relatable, at least in my eyes; the overwhelmed, hard-working and well-meaning mom who has experienced trauma, pregnancy loss, a child with special needs, postpartum depression and the consequences of bad judgement/choices.
She says what many only dare to think, and it’s glorious. Every. Fucking. Word. Is. True. Thank YOU, Adiba for normalizing matters of mental health, and the harsh reality of being a mom and advocate for a child with special needs. And in general, for giving ZERO fucks.
#ARC #netgalley #aintthatamother
She says what many only dare to think, and it’s glorious. Every. Fucking. Word. Is. True. Thank YOU, Adiba for normalizing matters of mental health, and the harsh reality of being a mom and advocate for a child with special needs. And in general, for giving ZERO fucks.
#ARC #netgalley #aintthatamother
December 17, 2022
I saw the author speak and received a free book. She was a great speaker, and I was excited to read her work.
The writing was conversational, witty, and full of voice. There were some profound bits and some really powerful parts, especially about her postpartum depression. I really applaud the author for being honest about that. It's something that needs to be talked about more and destigmatized.
I did feel that the book was a bit of bait and switch, however. Maybe it was because when I heard her speak, she talked a lot about her daughter, her struggles with motherhood, and fighting for the rights of people with disabilities. Maybe it was because of the title. Maybe it was because of the cover. Or the subtitle. Or the description. Or the first chapter. Anyway, I went into it thinking it would mostly be about motherhood, especially being a mother of a child with disabilities. But…it spent a lot more time on the men in her life. Those relationships were obviously important to her and a big factor in her life. But what I wanted to see was the relationship between her and her daughter. After the first chapter—which promised such a rich relationship—we hardly saw anything of it beyond the baby stage. The parts with trying to bond during postpartum depression and then finally bonding were really good. I just wanted more. Even when the author fought with the preschool, we didn't really see much of her interaction with her daughter. And as Emory got older, she seemed to disappear to make way for the story of Adiba's love life. I think maybe the author was trying to protect her daughter's privacy, but she included some very private moments early on, so I'm not sure. I would simply have loved to know Emory better. So, though the writing was very engaging, the story wasn't what I thought it was going to be, and that affected my enjoyment.
Trigger warning: LOTS of curse words, especially the one that basically glorifies rape as a way to deal with people who have angered you. Yes, I know it has lost that meaning for most people, but if words matter…then…doesn't this one? Maybe?
The writing was conversational, witty, and full of voice. There were some profound bits and some really powerful parts, especially about her postpartum depression. I really applaud the author for being honest about that. It's something that needs to be talked about more and destigmatized.
I did feel that the book was a bit of bait and switch, however. Maybe it was because when I heard her speak, she talked a lot about her daughter, her struggles with motherhood, and fighting for the rights of people with disabilities. Maybe it was because of the title. Maybe it was because of the cover. Or the subtitle. Or the description. Or the first chapter. Anyway, I went into it thinking it would mostly be about motherhood, especially being a mother of a child with disabilities. But…it spent a lot more time on the men in her life. Those relationships were obviously important to her and a big factor in her life. But what I wanted to see was the relationship between her and her daughter. After the first chapter—which promised such a rich relationship—we hardly saw anything of it beyond the baby stage. The parts with trying to bond during postpartum depression and then finally bonding were really good. I just wanted more. Even when the author fought with the preschool, we didn't really see much of her interaction with her daughter. And as Emory got older, she seemed to disappear to make way for the story of Adiba's love life. I think maybe the author was trying to protect her daughter's privacy, but she included some very private moments early on, so I'm not sure. I would simply have loved to know Emory better. So, though the writing was very engaging, the story wasn't what I thought it was going to be, and that affected my enjoyment.
Trigger warning: LOTS of curse words, especially the one that basically glorifies rape as a way to deal with people who have angered you. Yes, I know it has lost that meaning for most people, but if words matter…then…doesn't this one? Maybe?
September 5, 2022
Thank you to NetGalley for providing a digital review copy of this book. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review. Adiba Nelson is going to take you for a ride with this book, Ain’t That a Mother! I was initially attracted to it because it looked like a book about motherhood and I don’t see too many of those with Black women on the cover. The subtitle, Postpartum, Palsy and Everything in Between also caught my attention. As a Black mother, you don’t often get to see other Black women’s stories about their postpartum experience in print.
Get The Audiobook
I listened to this book on audiobook. The author narrates it herself and I believe that just added to my enjoyment of the story. This woman has led a very colorful life when it comes to the story of her motherhood. Oh yeah and her language is mighty colorful too! Just warning you if you didn’t pick that up from the title.
Great Storytelling
I loved her style of storytelling! I actually don’t read too many memoirs, but between her narration and the way she wrote the book, she had me hooked the entire time. Her tales of how she met the father of her child, who was also married but she didn’t know because he lied to her about it multiple times is just the start. She describes how she discovered her child was special needs, her own postpartum issues and how she made it out of the relationship with her daughter’s father.
Interesting Counterarguments
She also has an interesting way of address counter arguments to her statements that she anticipates her readers will have with regards to the choice she makes. I appreciated her reasoning and justification when she did that, because even I got caught being a little judgy at certain moments.
Get The Audiobook
I listened to this book on audiobook. The author narrates it herself and I believe that just added to my enjoyment of the story. This woman has led a very colorful life when it comes to the story of her motherhood. Oh yeah and her language is mighty colorful too! Just warning you if you didn’t pick that up from the title.
Great Storytelling
I loved her style of storytelling! I actually don’t read too many memoirs, but between her narration and the way she wrote the book, she had me hooked the entire time. Her tales of how she met the father of her child, who was also married but she didn’t know because he lied to her about it multiple times is just the start. She describes how she discovered her child was special needs, her own postpartum issues and how she made it out of the relationship with her daughter’s father.
Interesting Counterarguments
She also has an interesting way of address counter arguments to her statements that she anticipates her readers will have with regards to the choice she makes. I appreciated her reasoning and justification when she did that, because even I got caught being a little judgy at certain moments.
May 8, 2022
First things first, I have no idea who this sassy lady is, but given how the cover popped, I was intrigued. I am not a mom either.
I listened to the audiobook version of this and it was read by the author.
Sometimes when I hear stories that are such a rollercoaster ride and then, you blatantly admit that is life - you just know they cannot make that up! And if she did, dang girl, that was cray cray!
I applaud her for her bravery to still keep going, keep standing though so many things in life kept bringing her down.
However, the race card thing grew a little old after a while. I am a minority myself so I get it but I never use it as an excuse. That was the only bit that turned me off after a while.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
I listened to the audiobook version of this and it was read by the author.
Sometimes when I hear stories that are such a rollercoaster ride and then, you blatantly admit that is life - you just know they cannot make that up! And if she did, dang girl, that was cray cray!
I applaud her for her bravery to still keep going, keep standing though so many things in life kept bringing her down.
However, the race card thing grew a little old after a while. I am a minority myself so I get it but I never use it as an excuse. That was the only bit that turned me off after a while.
I received a complimentary copy of this book from netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.
July 3, 2022
Y’all.
Ya’ll gotta read this one.
Nelson reeled me right on into her life and quickly made me feel like I was in a long overdue conversation with my best friend.
With her brutal honesty, her humor, and her footnotes (yeah you read that, Nelson provides tangent thoughts and scientific resources to back her claims up) she creates a brutally intimate look into her journey as a single mother.
While her story is intense and to be frank there were a few times I had to put her book down to process not only her story but mine, it isn’t a downer or a bummer.
This woman is a fierce, beautiful, and incredible momma bear. She found a way to lace humor with heartache, honesty with hope, and triumph with trauma.
To say that I loved this book would be an understatement and I absolutely cannot wait to see Nelson rise up even further and continue to tell her story.
October 19, 2021
I really enjoyed Ain't That A Mother. Adiba takes us through her personal journey of relationships, becoming a mother, struggles with postpartum, and breaking generational curses. Not only is she team scorpio, she curses like a sailor and I'm all for it! This is a book I feel all mother's could relate to in some way, and I'd recommend adding this to your collection.
The reason why I'm giving it 4.5 stars is due to the amount of footnotes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed reading them, but the Kindle format made it hard to follow sometimes.
The reason why I'm giving it 4.5 stars is due to the amount of footnotes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed reading them, but the Kindle format made it hard to follow sometimes.
May 28, 2022
I listened to "Ain't That A Mother" on Audible, narrated by Adiba herself. I truly felt I was in a conversation with a girlfriend the whole time. Though we have different cultural backgrounds, so many of Adiba's experiences resonated deeply with me, as they would with most if not all moms. She gives voice to the struggle of modern motherhood, and her bravery, humility and devotion to her daughter are an inspiration. I devoured the book and can't wait to see where Adiba's career takes her next.
July 8, 2022
Nelson does a great job discussing generational trauma, parenting and post partum health. The sections about her daughter were wonderful. You can feel the love coming through the pages, and I'd love to read another book that focuses more on her relationship with her daughter. I found her section on post partum to be raw, honest and open, and I wish more moms would talk candidly about how tough it can be. Maybe then a future generation of moms will be better prepared for such a life change.
July 9, 2022
What a candid and beautiful memoir! Adiba is honest about her mistakes and shortcomings, but never self-deprecating. You can see that her journey to self-love and becoming the mother her daughter deserves is genuine and fraught. I felt inspired by her determination. Awesome memoir, Adiba!
PS I also love her children’s book Meet Clarabelle Blue. It has helped me broach the topic of disability with my 4 year old, and we hope to see more Clarabelle Blue in the future.
PS I also love her children’s book Meet Clarabelle Blue. It has helped me broach the topic of disability with my 4 year old, and we hope to see more Clarabelle Blue in the future.
July 3, 2022
Great book, very honest and real.
July 12, 2022
Highly recommended! It was funny and VERY honest. But, please do read the introduction, as there are some trigger warnings.
September 20, 2022
Very honest and interesting. The audiobook narrated by the author was fantastic.
February 23, 2023
Ain't That a Mother: Postpartum, Palsy, and Everything in Between by Adiba Nelson is one of those books - the one you don't want to finish reading because you're enjoying it so much. The one you look forward to going to bed with AND waking up to - unlike some of the men in Adiba's life according to her. Sleep with? Yes. Wake up to? Every damn day? Not so much. This is a mother, in all her glory, all her pain, all her strife, determined to tell it like it is (like it really is) as an Afro-Latina single mother to a beautiful child with special needs and special gifts. The ride is not easy and no one is spared - the men in their lives, the men absent from their lives, the unjust work, healthcare, and educational systems that Adiba navigates, eviscerates and ultimately triumphs over, and not even Adiba herself. The writing is so lively and so inviting I found myself wanting to leave the book momentarily to search for photos of Adiba and Ms. Emory because I just had to lay eyes on my newest "sheros". Luckily I soon discovered that a few gorgeous photos are scattered throughout the book and mom and baby girl's smiles are as bright and beautiful as I knew they would be.
June 22, 2022
This is a book about the author's experiences while raising a special needs child.
This book was not what I was expecting to read. I thought it would be more about parenting and would be more inspiring and uplifting. I felt it was a depressing read about the anger, disappointment, and bad relationships the author had. I really liked the stories she told about her daughter. I would have liked the book better if it would have been more about the daughter and less about the author. When the author talked about her daughter it felt more genuine and interesting.
Thank you to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!
This book was not what I was expecting to read. I thought it would be more about parenting and would be more inspiring and uplifting. I felt it was a depressing read about the anger, disappointment, and bad relationships the author had. I really liked the stories she told about her daughter. I would have liked the book better if it would have been more about the daughter and less about the author. When the author talked about her daughter it felt more genuine and interesting.
Thank you to NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review!
January 19, 2024
This was a great memoir. My only issue with it was that I wanted more details about certain things that kind of came up out of nowhere, like her children's book, or she just passively wrapped up after a much longer intro to a certain "character" in her life. I simply wanted more story. But I loved the parts I got and feel very inspired by how far she's come and what she does to push herself forward as a mom and woman.
Thank you Adiba for this wonderful story!
Thank you Adiba for this wonderful story!
April 19, 2023
Reading this book gave me a new insight into black maternal health I wasn’t aware of. Adiba is unflinching in her accounts of the system and unapologetic as a mother. Her stories were incredibly relatable and raw. Her story is so far from over and I look forward to more of her writings.
September 28, 2025
Whew, this book is a RIDE. Heartfelt, raw, holds nothing back. Full disclosure: I know Adiba, and she is the homie so
May 10, 2026
Raw and real! I cried and laughed. Adiba is a great storyteller. So many parents need to read this story!
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews