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376 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1957
She was a person invented by my regrets, and so she had, for me, every wished-for kindness, and different expressions, different voices. But, above all, in the impossible longing I had for her, I thought of her as faithfulness, intimacy, conversation: in other words, all that fathers were not, in my experience…And in her view it would be enough to say the name Arturo for everyone to know that she was speaking of me. The other Arturos existing in the world were all imitators, inferior. Even hens, or cats, have certain special delicate modulations of their voice when they call their offspring. Therefore one can imagine in what a delightful voice she would have called Arturo. And certainly she would have loaded that name with every sort of female adulation, which I would graciously spurn, as Julius Caesar spurned the crown. In fact, it’s noble to show disdain for all kinds of adulation and pampering; but since one can’t be pampered by oneself, in life a mother is necessary.
"No phenomenon of the cosmos, no event of history, exists for her except in relation to you. In this way, creation is in danger of becoming a cage. She would be content, because her love dreams of nothing else. She would like to keep you a prisoner forever, as when she was pregnant. And when you escape, she tries to entrap you from a distance, to give her form to your entire universe, so that you will never forget the humiliation of having been conceived by a woman!"………………………………………………………
Everything appeared sharp, precise, and isolated in itself, but the countless points of things also mingled in a divine, joyous color, green, blue, and gold. In a moment, that color will be different: imperceptible variations, like a whirl of marvelous insects, spin without pause in the light. Even the grim prison, up at the top of the hill, is a rainbow of a thousand changeable colors from morning to night. Now from the bay the screech of a waterbird is heard, from the harbor behind it the whistle of a ship, then from the town a pealing of bells.
"She sang not with sentimental abandon but with a bold, childish roughness; certain high notes recalled some bitter animal cry—maybe a stork, or a nomadic desert bird."During my stay in Naples, I heard someone singing one evening in just such a piercing, strident voice, harsh but full of terrible melancholy. It was a young woman, sitting against the wall of the promenade, a begging bowl before her. Hoardes of indifferent tourists passed up and down admiring the sunset on the bay lighting up Procida in the distance.


