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Galaxy Cruise #2
Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed
Galactic war, mass destruction, and a whole lot of wasted wedding cake.
After generations of conflict, an arranged marriage is set to unite two feuding royal families and bring peace to their worlds. But when bungling Captain Leo MacGavin botches the bride and groom’s first meeting, the wedding is off, and so is the truce!
To stop an interplanetary war, Leo needs to make a royal love connection, and fast! But when he seeks help from his confidante Kellybean, he inadvertently sabotages her budding relationship as well. To further complicate matters, his ship is on the verge of catastrophic failure, his first officer is weaponizing the safety gear, and his acting head of hospitality is a sociopath who keeps maiming the guests.
When Leo’s old flame makes a mysterious reappearance, can she help him unite the nuptial-bound nemeses, or is the whole galaxy royally screwed?
"Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed" is the second uproarious adventure of the cruise starship WTF Americano Grande, featuring aliens in inflatable fat suits, a gladiator-style singles mingle, and a few very tasteful and understated poop jokes. Grab your copy today!
After generations of conflict, an arranged marriage is set to unite two feuding royal families and bring peace to their worlds. But when bungling Captain Leo MacGavin botches the bride and groom’s first meeting, the wedding is off, and so is the truce!
To stop an interplanetary war, Leo needs to make a royal love connection, and fast! But when he seeks help from his confidante Kellybean, he inadvertently sabotages her budding relationship as well. To further complicate matters, his ship is on the verge of catastrophic failure, his first officer is weaponizing the safety gear, and his acting head of hospitality is a sociopath who keeps maiming the guests.
When Leo’s old flame makes a mysterious reappearance, can she help him unite the nuptial-bound nemeses, or is the whole galaxy royally screwed?
"Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed" is the second uproarious adventure of the cruise starship WTF Americano Grande, featuring aliens in inflatable fat suits, a gladiator-style singles mingle, and a few very tasteful and understated poop jokes. Grab your copy today!
- GenresHumor
237 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 12, 2021
87 people are currently reading
29 people want to read
About the author
Marcus Alexander Hart
21 books62 followersYour old pal Marcus Alexander Hart is an award-adjacent author, self-proclaimed karaoke star, and default awesome dude. He has been a roller-derby skater and a real-life quidditch player. He once won an overnight road rally in a fake ice-cream truck. Marcus lives in the Pacific Northwest with his wife and two imaginary children.
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
September 14, 2021
Returning to the WTF Americano Grande for another fun cruise!
Marcus Alexander Hart returns with another tale from the WTF Americano Grande, the Waylade Tour Fleet’s newest cruise vessel — a starship based on a 21st century Earthbound, ocean-sailing cruise ship — as it tries to find its way home after being stranded an insurmountable distance away. Captain Leo MacGavin, the only actual human onboard, is trying his best, but things just never seem to turn out the way he plans, or expects, or hopes.
I have to say this right up front: The first chapter is one of the most outrageous, and hilarious, openings I’ve ever read. As MacGavin attempts to woo a local cruise critic to turn out a favorable review, things spin out of control, disaster building upon disaster, until it comes to a head in a way that would make even “Back to the Future’s” Biff Tannen feel that he’d gotten off *lucky* with that manure truck! And that’s just Chapter One!
As MacGavin flounders about trying to find a way home, not only with a skeleton crew but with a ship that is falling apart, he soon finds himself with an enticing offer: Escort a royal prince to where he will fulfill the obligations of an arranged marriage with the princess of an enemy race. In exchange for helping cement the peace treaty in question, the Americano Grande will be repaired to top-notch condition and sent on its merry way.
Sound like a walk in the park? It should’ve been, on paper. But nothing ever goes that easily for Leo MacGavin and his poor crew.
In addition to the introduction of the prince and princess, most of the familiar characters are back for another round, all being aliens (except MacGavin) from a wide variety of different species. In particular, we get to explore more about Kellybean and Jassi, two lovebirds who found one another in the first book. And I was especially pleased to have more Lieutenant Commander Marshmallow Hug Dilly Dilly (or just “Dilly” for short), the spider-like Security Chief who does its best to protect, and assist, its captain ... usually with questionable results, but I love Dilly anyway.
Also returning — to MacGavin’s eternal frustration — are the never-ending misunderstandings about Earth and its people and customs; all thanks to when humans were rescued in space, and our saviors “learned” about our history from our own damaged computers. The “Hello Wiener” party in particular cracked me up.
I have a few more favorite instances of Hart’s humor at its best — the opening paragraph of Chapter Thirteen is particularly entertaining — but I try to avoid spoilers. And, as always, Hart has a gift for tying many different plot threads and tidbits into neat, well-executed climaxes that are very satisfying (this climax also has a sequence that really tugged at this reader’s heartstrings ... but again, no spoilers!).
If you like your science-fiction awash with equal parts humor, shenanigans, adventure, and then more humor, check out “Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed” — and I, for one, am looking forward to the upcoming Book #3, “Galaxy Cruise: Trial by Leisure.”
Marcus Alexander Hart returns with another tale from the WTF Americano Grande, the Waylade Tour Fleet’s newest cruise vessel — a starship based on a 21st century Earthbound, ocean-sailing cruise ship — as it tries to find its way home after being stranded an insurmountable distance away. Captain Leo MacGavin, the only actual human onboard, is trying his best, but things just never seem to turn out the way he plans, or expects, or hopes.
I have to say this right up front: The first chapter is one of the most outrageous, and hilarious, openings I’ve ever read. As MacGavin attempts to woo a local cruise critic to turn out a favorable review, things spin out of control, disaster building upon disaster, until it comes to a head in a way that would make even “Back to the Future’s” Biff Tannen feel that he’d gotten off *lucky* with that manure truck! And that’s just Chapter One!
As MacGavin flounders about trying to find a way home, not only with a skeleton crew but with a ship that is falling apart, he soon finds himself with an enticing offer: Escort a royal prince to where he will fulfill the obligations of an arranged marriage with the princess of an enemy race. In exchange for helping cement the peace treaty in question, the Americano Grande will be repaired to top-notch condition and sent on its merry way.
Sound like a walk in the park? It should’ve been, on paper. But nothing ever goes that easily for Leo MacGavin and his poor crew.
In addition to the introduction of the prince and princess, most of the familiar characters are back for another round, all being aliens (except MacGavin) from a wide variety of different species. In particular, we get to explore more about Kellybean and Jassi, two lovebirds who found one another in the first book. And I was especially pleased to have more Lieutenant Commander Marshmallow Hug Dilly Dilly (or just “Dilly” for short), the spider-like Security Chief who does its best to protect, and assist, its captain ... usually with questionable results, but I love Dilly anyway.
Also returning — to MacGavin’s eternal frustration — are the never-ending misunderstandings about Earth and its people and customs; all thanks to when humans were rescued in space, and our saviors “learned” about our history from our own damaged computers. The “Hello Wiener” party in particular cracked me up.
I have a few more favorite instances of Hart’s humor at its best — the opening paragraph of Chapter Thirteen is particularly entertaining — but I try to avoid spoilers. And, as always, Hart has a gift for tying many different plot threads and tidbits into neat, well-executed climaxes that are very satisfying (this climax also has a sequence that really tugged at this reader’s heartstrings ... but again, no spoilers!).
If you like your science-fiction awash with equal parts humor, shenanigans, adventure, and then more humor, check out “Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed” — and I, for one, am looking forward to the upcoming Book #3, “Galaxy Cruise: Trial by Leisure.”
December 2, 2021
This is the second book in the series and the second one that I have read. I had to review my review of the first book to see what I had written. Lo and behold, my review for the first book could easily be cut and pasted for THIS one.
I will say this...I think I enjoyed this one just a little bit more than the first one. The main character has grown on me a little bit. We still do not get a lot of info about him. But I felt myself rooting for him a bit more, this time around. I remember feeling a bit ambivalent toward him in the first book.
I liked the overall story/plot, this time around. It centers around a match-making arrangement between two warring peoples, in order to form a tactical alliance. In return, the MC and his crew get their ship repaired. There are a number of fun diversions, side-plots that weave into the main story in the end.
I am interested in seeing how this cruise ends.
************************************
P.S. This is book 2 in a series. You will get more out of it by reading the first book, where the characters and overall situation are introduced. On the other hand, this book COULD stand on its own. It is not necessary for you to read the first book or any future books in order to enjoy this one. It picks up where the last book leaves off, and it has another soft ending. But the events in this book are satisfactorily resolved. In other words, although this is part of a series, it treads the line very nicely and does not require you to read additional books unless you want to. I think the author deserves kudos for that because with too many series, it feels like you are just reading chapters in a much larger book and you do not get any kind of "pay-off" unless you read them all.
I will say this...I think I enjoyed this one just a little bit more than the first one. The main character has grown on me a little bit. We still do not get a lot of info about him. But I felt myself rooting for him a bit more, this time around. I remember feeling a bit ambivalent toward him in the first book.
I liked the overall story/plot, this time around. It centers around a match-making arrangement between two warring peoples, in order to form a tactical alliance. In return, the MC and his crew get their ship repaired. There are a number of fun diversions, side-plots that weave into the main story in the end.
I am interested in seeing how this cruise ends.
************************************
P.S. This is book 2 in a series. You will get more out of it by reading the first book, where the characters and overall situation are introduced. On the other hand, this book COULD stand on its own. It is not necessary for you to read the first book or any future books in order to enjoy this one. It picks up where the last book leaves off, and it has another soft ending. But the events in this book are satisfactorily resolved. In other words, although this is part of a series, it treads the line very nicely and does not require you to read additional books unless you want to. I think the author deserves kudos for that because with too many series, it feels like you are just reading chapters in a much larger book and you do not get any kind of "pay-off" unless you read them all.
September 10, 2021
Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed
There are no traces of a sophomore slump in Marcus Hart's Galaxy Cruise series. Royally Screwed, book two of Galaxy Cruise, takes Captain Leo MacGavin and his crew of misfits to new heights, both figuratively and literally. It's a classic case of one darned thing after another in a very good way as the action and the comedy flow non-stop. Just when it seems like things simply can't get any worse–they do, and the result is a wondrous mix of intrigue, drama and belly laughs.
As the story opens a poor review from cruise critic Sidge Sugick is imminent, and the ship is in a state of serious disrepair. Their only hope is to take on a top-secret passenger, and that is where the fun begins. The fate of the WTF Americano Grande is at stake in more ways than one, as well as two nations bent on annihilating one another. It all takes a turn to the comically absurd when romance fills the air with a collection of tangled and complicated relationships that would make the Love Boat proud.
Character development in this second installment is just one of Royally Screwed's many high points. In particular the ongoing romance between Kellybean and Jassi takes center stage to produce some of the book's finest moments. The tensions of passion and peril engage in a tug-of-war toward the end as Mr. Hart weaves serious drama with shots of comic relief that drop at exactly the right time.
I enjoyed the first book in the series, but in this case familiarity takes excitement to a whole new level, and can't wait to see what Marcus Hart comes up with in the next installment of this farcical space opera!
There are no traces of a sophomore slump in Marcus Hart's Galaxy Cruise series. Royally Screwed, book two of Galaxy Cruise, takes Captain Leo MacGavin and his crew of misfits to new heights, both figuratively and literally. It's a classic case of one darned thing after another in a very good way as the action and the comedy flow non-stop. Just when it seems like things simply can't get any worse–they do, and the result is a wondrous mix of intrigue, drama and belly laughs.
As the story opens a poor review from cruise critic Sidge Sugick is imminent, and the ship is in a state of serious disrepair. Their only hope is to take on a top-secret passenger, and that is where the fun begins. The fate of the WTF Americano Grande is at stake in more ways than one, as well as two nations bent on annihilating one another. It all takes a turn to the comically absurd when romance fills the air with a collection of tangled and complicated relationships that would make the Love Boat proud.
Character development in this second installment is just one of Royally Screwed's many high points. In particular the ongoing romance between Kellybean and Jassi takes center stage to produce some of the book's finest moments. The tensions of passion and peril engage in a tug-of-war toward the end as Mr. Hart weaves serious drama with shots of comic relief that drop at exactly the right time.
I enjoyed the first book in the series, but in this case familiarity takes excitement to a whole new level, and can't wait to see what Marcus Hart comes up with in the next installment of this farcical space opera!
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September 10, 2021There's only one thing I love more than finding a space novel with quality humour and that's when there's a sequel! I'm a big fan of the unlikely but loveably awkward and reluctant human captain thrown into an unknown universe. Leo MacGavin is all that and more.
There are multiple levels of inter-character development in "Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed", which is something you don't always see in SciFi comedy. It's just spacey enough to be in the Star Trek genre while laugh out loud enough to be a space opera parody
This sequel is another fun adventure which builds admirably on the first. It's both satisfying in story arc while still leaving the reader hoping there's more to come. I really enjoyed the light romance and tongue in cheek social commentary (it's also notably LGTBQ+ and interspecies friendly - I'm so 'shipping Kellybean and Jassi).
I was already invested emotionally in characters from book one "Galaxy Cruise: the Maiden Voyage". Who knew I could fall for a terrifying yet well intentioned giant alien spider beast? Is it too soon to bug my new "old pal" Marcus Alexander Hart for book three?
If you're looking for genre comparisons, this series is can be likened to Barry Hutchison's Space Team series, the inimitable Douglas Adams, Simon Hayne's Hal Space Jock or the classic Robert Aspirin's Phule series.
There are multiple levels of inter-character development in "Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed", which is something you don't always see in SciFi comedy. It's just spacey enough to be in the Star Trek genre while laugh out loud enough to be a space opera parody
This sequel is another fun adventure which builds admirably on the first. It's both satisfying in story arc while still leaving the reader hoping there's more to come. I really enjoyed the light romance and tongue in cheek social commentary (it's also notably LGTBQ+ and interspecies friendly - I'm so 'shipping Kellybean and Jassi).
I was already invested emotionally in characters from book one "Galaxy Cruise: the Maiden Voyage". Who knew I could fall for a terrifying yet well intentioned giant alien spider beast? Is it too soon to bug my new "old pal" Marcus Alexander Hart for book three?
If you're looking for genre comparisons, this series is can be likened to Barry Hutchison's Space Team series, the inimitable Douglas Adams, Simon Hayne's Hal Space Jock or the classic Robert Aspirin's Phule series.
September 12, 2021
Galaxy Cruise 2: Royally Screwed is a lot like an episode of the '70s television show, The Love Boat. That is, if The Love Boat were a broken down, OSHA nightmare of a spaceship, stranded in an uncharted galaxy, and whose crew is a ragtag bunch of aliens pulling double duty as a result of being short-staffed.
This one made me giggle, chuckle, guffaw, snicker, snort, giggle, chortle, titter, and cachinnate on every page. To the point where I almost shix myself. There's a moment where actual poop saves the day, and my old pal Marcus actually somehow makes a SALAD sexy.
The ship, the WTF Americano Grande (that's the "Big American," for you lazy gringos), is commanded by Captain Leo MacGavin, the lone human, who just can't seem to catch a break, no matter how hard he tries. The other members of the crew include the ship's female doctor, Waverlee, who is a saucy fish-creature who has no regard for safety or life, and is also the hospitality event planner. where she delights in putting the smack down on children and getting human Earth traditions hilariously wrong.
The rest of the crew include an orange, bionic first officer, who has nothing but murder/death/kill on his mind; a cat-girl who is in a weird-but-steamy relationship with a plant-girl; a teenage lizard girl who pilots the ship, in a most bodacious and cowabunga way; and an utterly terrifying creature in charge of security, but who has has a heart of gold, despite its futile attempts to make itself seem likable to others.
Captain Leo finds himself mixed-up in the middle of a plan which involves his safely transporting royalty for an arranged marriage which will result in peace among conflict, but after a botch-job of a formal introduction, have to manage the coupling of two warring species, in order to ensure peace in the galaxy, and get the ship repaired, in hopes of returning home.
Read this one, even if you haven't read the fist book. Trust me, if not for seeing how to make a salad seem sexy. You won't be disappointed. Four stars.
This one made me giggle, chuckle, guffaw, snicker, snort, giggle, chortle, titter, and cachinnate on every page. To the point where I almost shix myself. There's a moment where actual poop saves the day, and my old pal Marcus actually somehow makes a SALAD sexy.
The ship, the WTF Americano Grande (that's the "Big American," for you lazy gringos), is commanded by Captain Leo MacGavin, the lone human, who just can't seem to catch a break, no matter how hard he tries. The other members of the crew include the ship's female doctor, Waverlee, who is a saucy fish-creature who has no regard for safety or life, and is also the hospitality event planner. where she delights in putting the smack down on children and getting human Earth traditions hilariously wrong.
The rest of the crew include an orange, bionic first officer, who has nothing but murder/death/kill on his mind; a cat-girl who is in a weird-but-steamy relationship with a plant-girl; a teenage lizard girl who pilots the ship, in a most bodacious and cowabunga way; and an utterly terrifying creature in charge of security, but who has has a heart of gold, despite its futile attempts to make itself seem likable to others.
Captain Leo finds himself mixed-up in the middle of a plan which involves his safely transporting royalty for an arranged marriage which will result in peace among conflict, but after a botch-job of a formal introduction, have to manage the coupling of two warring species, in order to ensure peace in the galaxy, and get the ship repaired, in hopes of returning home.
Read this one, even if you haven't read the fist book. Trust me, if not for seeing how to make a salad seem sexy. You won't be disappointed. Four stars.
October 20, 2021
If you enjoy over-the-top juvenile, immature, physical comedy this is the book for you! Hard sci-fi this is not; it is escapism at its finest. Guilty pleasure, side-splitting funny convoluted story line with characters you somehow manage to come to care for and become attached to. Once again, Hart has managed to write something so utterly ridiculous it shouldn't work but it totally does. This is not a campy derivative parody, it is humor that turns the tropes inside out and sideways and mixes them with just enough depth of story to be truly funny.
This is book 2 in the series, and while it contains a full plot arc and enough information to be enjoyed as a standalone, I highly suggest reading Galaxy Cruise: Maiden Voyage first to get the full experience. These book should come with a spew alert - some of the scenes are so funny they will have you laughing out loud and inadvertently spitting you drink across the room. I enjoyed book 1 so much I was worried book 2 wouldn't be able to live up to that high standard, but it anything, this one was even better. Can't wait for book 3.
This is book 2 in the series, and while it contains a full plot arc and enough information to be enjoyed as a standalone, I highly suggest reading Galaxy Cruise: Maiden Voyage first to get the full experience. These book should come with a spew alert - some of the scenes are so funny they will have you laughing out loud and inadvertently spitting you drink across the room. I enjoyed book 1 so much I was worried book 2 wouldn't be able to live up to that high standard, but it anything, this one was even better. Can't wait for book 3.
September 12, 2021
Galaxy Cruise: Royally Screwed is comically clever from start to finish. As in the first book, anything that can go wrong does in the most hilarious fashion. Snorts, snickers, giggles and guffaws abound so be sure to finish that glass of milk before you start reading!
This is the second book in a series. Though you’ll get a lot more out of the story by reading the first book, which I highly recommend, you can still enjoy this book as a stand-alone. I received an ARC of this book from the author and will buy a copy when it’s published.
This is the second book in a series. Though you’ll get a lot more out of the story by reading the first book, which I highly recommend, you can still enjoy this book as a stand-alone. I received an ARC of this book from the author and will buy a copy when it’s published.
April 27, 2022
Voyager + Gilligan's Island
Imagine Star Trek Voyager, but with Gilligan and The Skipper in charge instead of Janeway and Chakotay. Engineering is run by a lesbian couple of aliens (a sexy female Groot with a better vocabulary, and a fluffy sex-kitten who just wants to be seen as a competent officer). Security is headed by a 6 foot tall spider. And the Medical Bay is run by a horny fish lady who may be insane. It's a riot!
Imagine Star Trek Voyager, but with Gilligan and The Skipper in charge instead of Janeway and Chakotay. Engineering is run by a lesbian couple of aliens (a sexy female Groot with a better vocabulary, and a fluffy sex-kitten who just wants to be seen as a competent officer). Security is headed by a 6 foot tall spider. And the Medical Bay is run by a horny fish lady who may be insane. It's a riot!
February 9, 2022
Fun Nonstop
How Marcus can keep coming up with many hilarious goofs, and still find a rational(?) way out of them, is beyond my ken. Each book relates similar problems, yet remain completely different.
How Marcus can keep coming up with many hilarious goofs, and still find a rational(?) way out of them, is beyond my ken. Each book relates similar problems, yet remain completely different.
February 6, 2023
Absolute FUN!
This author has a WILD imagination and I loved it. Laughing loud loud, I read this book with wild abandon and enjoyed every second. Such ridiculous situations with even crazier resolutions had me tied up in grins. You gotta read this!
This author has a WILD imagination and I loved it. Laughing loud loud, I read this book with wild abandon and enjoyed every second. Such ridiculous situations with even crazier resolutions had me tied up in grins. You gotta read this!
September 16, 2024
Excellent
Funny, ridiculous and at times ludicrous... But at all times entertaining! I will buy the next book in the series. It's fun reading sci-fi that is not just blood and guts, death and destruction. 🙂
Funny, ridiculous and at times ludicrous... But at all times entertaining! I will buy the next book in the series. It's fun reading sci-fi that is not just blood and guts, death and destruction. 🙂
January 22, 2025
Galacticly In A Class of It's Own
Fun and addictive, ridiculously interesting and entertaining. A series I look forward to reading as truelie unique and imaginative . I want a mini suite witha a balcony!
Fun and addictive, ridiculously interesting and entertaining. A series I look forward to reading as truelie unique and imaginative . I want a mini suite witha a balcony!
October 1, 2021
Consistently ridiculous. I don't recommend reading, if you're offended by misuse of pezdirc.
November 29, 2021
Interesting read
Slow start but I stayed with it. The farther along I got the more interesting the story became.
Well worth your time to read.
Slow start but I stayed with it. The farther along I got the more interesting the story became.
Well worth your time to read.
April 17, 2022
Fun read.
Has the right balance of comedy and serious.
I would recommend this series to anyone who likes space opera along with a good laugh.
Has the right balance of comedy and serious.
I would recommend this series to anyone who likes space opera along with a good laugh.
January 4, 2023
Trick or treat smell my feet, give me something good to eat. I mean if you don't I don't care I'll just pull down your underwear, and HELLOWEENER
February 21, 2023
Bloody hilarious
March 25, 2023
Loved it!
Great series so far. Love to writing and the humor. Thanks Marcus. I'm curious what his two imaginary kids are named.
Great series so far. Love to writing and the humor. Thanks Marcus. I'm curious what his two imaginary kids are named.
October 19, 2023
These books make me laugh so hard, I have to take regular breaks.
April 8, 2024
Short and enjoyable. Enough action to hold the reader's attention while not being overpowering. Like the humor and the way it's written. Worth having read.
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October 16, 2021Hello readers,
This book is even more insane than the first one. I hope you dig it!
Your old pal,
-Marcus
This book is even more insane than the first one. I hope you dig it!
Your old pal,
-Marcus
June 19, 2022
Golly gosh
This story is so funny I really did enjoy reading it no spoilers from me but its to long to wait for the third book in September 2022 you have to get it and read the books you will love then
This story is so funny I really did enjoy reading it no spoilers from me but its to long to wait for the third book in September 2022 you have to get it and read the books you will love then
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews