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282 pages, Paperback
First published May 3, 2005
"I'm an old man now, and even though more than thirty years have gone by, I still remember that summer and its secrets, and the way the heat was and how the light stretched on into the evening like it would never leave."
"I couldn't have explained this then, but now I suspect that I had started to sense that he carried his own secrets, that he was expert in covering them over, that we were bound together by the dark lives we tried to hide."
“When someone you love disappears, it's like the light goes dim, and you're in the shadows. You try to do what people tell you: put one foot in front of the other; keep looking up; give yourself over to the seconds and minutes and hours. But always there's that glimmer of light-that way of living you once knew-sort of faded and smoky like the crescent moon on a winter's night when the air is full of ice and clouds, but still there, hanging just over your head. You think it's not far. Your think at any moment you can reach out and grab it.”
"It was a small thing like that, a thing I can barely stand to say how foolish it makes me look, but what I hope you'll understand, despite how I've sometimes deceived you, how far a lonely man like me might go, how much he might risk for anything.... "
"So that was how their friendship began, with this moment in the garage when they both admitted, without saying as much, that they were less than satisfied with the way their lives had turned out. They never said the words. They never said "lonely." They never said "afraid." They never spoke of the yearning or the wrong turns they'd taken over the years and the hard places they'd come to, but it was all plain in what they did say, which was, as Mr. Dees knew, as much as they could risk because they were just starting to get to know each other and how much could anyone stand to feel pulsing in another person's heart?"
“You can pretend that your life is going on when really, all along, you’re trapped in a moment you’ll never be able to change.”
“Life had gone on. It always did. that's what you learned as you got older. Time. It kept moving. You wished you could change. They were gone."
That's the way it was, always will be. nothing we can do to make it different. It's a story now, and stories have endings even when you don't know- fools like me- that you're already in the middle of one, and you're already making choices... Choices that will bring you to places you'd never thought you'd be, places in your heart you'll mourn and love the rest of your life."
“I thought to myself then that it didn't matter where I ended up; I'd always be living that summer in that town, wishing that I had done things differently, tormented by the fact that I hadn't. I'd never go far enough to be able to escape it. Maybe you're happy about that. Maybe not. Maybe you're carrying your own regrets, and you understand how easy it is to let your life get away from you. I wish I could be the hero of this story, but I'm not. I'm just the one to tell it, at least my part in it, the story of Katie Mackey and the people who failed her. It's an old one, this tale of selfish desires and the lament that follows, as ancient as the story of Adam and Eve turned away forever from paradise.”
“I think it was this: like most of us, he was carrying a misery in his soul. I don't say it to forgive what he done, only to say it as true as I can. He was a wrong-minded man, but inside- I swear this is true- he was always that little boy eating that fried-egg sandwich in that dark hallway while the steam pipe dripped water on his head. I don't ask you to excuse him, only to understand that there's people who don't have what others do, and sometimes they get hurtful in their hearts, and they puff themselves up and try all sorts of schemes to level the ground- to get the bricks and joints all plumb, Ray used to say. They take wrong turns, hit dead ends, and sometimes they never make their way back."I would not be exaggerating to say that it is a depressing read; one turns the last page needed some sunshine to feel more positive about life. Alas, sometimes the truth needs to be expressed. To have it expressed with eloquence makes it easier to accept. What truth? The truth that all of us have secrets, hide our regrets; we can all only do our best to survive. Two of my favorite quotes this novel brought to mind:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." attributed to Philo
"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." by Leo Buscaglia