Nurture the Nature: Understanding and Supporting Your Child's Unique Core Personality

by Michael Gurian

From Michael Gurian, the best-selling author of The Minds of Boys and The Wonder of Girls , comes the next-step book that shows how any parent can tune into a child’s unique core personality, hard wiring, temperament, and genetic predisposition in order to help that child flourish and thrive. Based on the most recent brain research, Nurture the Nature features the Ten Tips for Nurturing the Nature of Your Baby, self-tests, checklists, and many other tools for you to help your kids get exactly the kind of support they need, from infants to adolescents. While offering positive ideas for nurturing your child, Gurian also shows how to avoid the stress, pressures, and excessive competition of what he identifies as social trends parenting. Most parents know instinctively that their child is unique and has special potential, weaknesses, and strengths. No child is a blank slate. Gurian calls on parents to turn away from one-size-fits-all approaches and instead support the individual core nature of a child with effective and customized loving care.

Genres: Parenting, Adoption, Nonfiction

368 pages, Hardcover

First published April 10, 2007

About the author

Michael Gurian is an American author and social philosopher. He works as a marriage and family counselor and corporate consultant. He has published twenty-eight books, several of which were New York Times bestseller list bestsellers. He is considered, along with Leonard Sax, as one of the major proponents of the post-modern "single-sex academic classes" movement.
Gurian taught at Gonzaga University, Eastern Washington University, and Ankara University. His work tends to focus on sex differences and how they contribute to learning.
He is also a co-founder of the Gurian Institute, which trains professionals who deal with the developmental aspects of childhood. The Gurian Institute has trained more than 60,000 teachers from over 2,000 different schools. Some of these schools become "GI Model Schools" and aim to leverage the role gender plays in learning styles.

Reviews

[Chelsea Magee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a hard book to read (I read it in a day skipping the chapters of 7-19+ just scanning those since my oldest is only 3). A bit disappointed. I agree with most of what’s said, but mostly it feels like common sense. Don’t put your child in activities they don’t want to be in, let them find themselves, understand that each child is different and their needs are different. His best sections are on the difference between boys/girls in a scientific way. I did enjoy all of those points. But a lot he says we need to “understand the core nature of our child” but I have no real idea how to do that. There were a few questions like “are the y comfortable around new people or shy” “do they do better with a structured environment or not” I don’t have any more insight to the actual nature of my child that I didn’t already have, and that was my reason for reading the book.

Didn’t love his take on sex, didn’t like when he talks about schooling options he never mentions homeschooling which would be possibly the best ways to nurture the child’s nature which is what he is all about.

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I enjoyed it, most of it at least. I didn’t agree with the advice for parents of teens on sexuality. I appreciated the advice for parents who are considering a divorce. The author encourages spouses to stay together (within reason of course).

[Jennifer Buczynski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I skipped babies, toddlers and teens chapters for now, because those don’t apply to me at the moment.

Very similar to other personality books I’ve been reading and I plan to read his books on the differences between boys and girls because that’s what I’m really interested in!

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Essentially the author's key point is that personality is inborn, and therefore parents should understand they are parenting individuals, not lumps of clay that can be molded any which way the parents decide. He also states that parents should not be molded by the latest fads, the latest ideas of how to be a great parent. But I'm not convinced that he does anything more than to say "don't listen to them, listen to me. Cautiously." I didn't agree with all that he asserts or fails to assert. His treatment of the vaccination decision was superficial and felt "tacked on" because, as he said, many parents asked him about the issue. (If you want an in-depth treatment there, check out Jill Aviva Romm.)

Most of what he said feels like common sense to me.

[Jeanna Deswert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book to help parents understand that each child is unique. They develop unique personalities and learn and grow differently. This book promotes an approach to parenting that encourages parents to accept and nurture a child's unique individual self. Often times parents, whether consciously or unconsciously, try to mold their child into the person they perceive their child to be. In reality, each child is an individual and Gurian's book highlights the importance of nurturing the uniqueness of each child. Excellent read for any parent, teacher and/or care giver.

[Lynde · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is an excellent book. it has really great ideas for contemplating your OWN behavior as a parent, and how you can positively change the things you feel are undesirable! which is great timing for me. :) i love that it is managed in sections, and that it is also separated by age group/appropriateness. i will keep this one as a great reference book indefinitely. i can't wait to share it!
L

[Stefani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book better than his "The Wonder of Boys"--which I gave 3 stars--so I'm giving this one four stars. There isn't a ton of concrete do's and don'ts in this book, and I was a little annoyed that when he talked about choosing a school for your 4-6 year old, there was talk about finding a school to "nurture their nature" but he never mentioned homeschooling, which would easily fit a child as it is more malleable than ANY other school or school setting.

[Gina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting book. What I got out of this: Children are unique and you need to figure out how they learn. Don't expect them to fit a certain expectation. I was happy to see the author wasn't big into giving kids drugs to keep them in-line. Find out how they work, and they will work well with you. I like how it encourages thinking outside the box as a way to deal with children.

[Maya · Rating 2 out of 5]

THis book contains pretty standard developmental and gender differences information about different childhood stages. Informative and well-organized, but if you are well-versed in child development you won't learn much.

[Stacy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am currently reading this and will be reading it for a while as it discusses how to nurture our children through different ages. I really like how the book shows that our children are born with personalities and our job is to help them bring out the best in them.

[Kevin · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horrible. So idealistic and based on fantasy! Every little thing a child does suddenly meant the entire world and had some deep meaning. Rubbish. Sometimes, it CAN be gas. Your 2-month old is not always trying to communicate with you to tell you that they appreciate your giving them life.

[Tom · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has an especially useful perspective for parents who are concerned that they are not doing enough for their kids. Like Gurian's other books, this one is a bit repetitive, but it's worth checking out from the library.

[Debbie Hughes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Slow and steady, I am making my way through this book.....

[Jeri · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think that this book could have had some good stuff in it. I just didn't have time to wade through it.

[Natalie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Better overall parenting guide than 'The Good Son'.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book...enjoyed his point of view. I will hang on to use as a reference for the future. I like how the book is sectioned by age group. Worth taking a look at..

[Caroline · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good premise, covers the point pretty well in the first couple of chapters.

[Susan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the emphasis on listening to what your child needs and responding to that. I also appreciated his acknowledgement that spiritual or religious influences are a valuable part of families' lives.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mostly common sense, but includes some interesting points and ideas. Gives pointers for each age group as well as some overall ideas. There was some repeat and redundancy.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

really helpful mom book