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336 pages, Hardcover
First published May 31, 2022
I gave her a half hug, we had discussed before how we both didn’t like touching, but I thought she would laugh at me if I tried to shake her hand. She kind of hugged me back, but she was holding on tight to her luggage.
“Hey, good luck out there.”
I had only been in rehab for four full days and already I was beginning to forget which woman had suffered what, which woman was attacked when, who ran from the cops or whose boyfriend found her seizing in the doorway. That must be the point. Inundate you with horror stories and trauma until you realize how serious your addiction is and finally give in to the program, your only saving grace. But at this point, I didn’t feel shockable. I just felt that all that bullshit was a given.
I walked past the hostel and back, trying to make up my mind, I wanted a part of me back, the brave part. No, I wanted the child back, the one who had friends, who had a safe house and a family that didn’t hold their breath around me. I kept going through the scenarios: living, dying, drinking on this beautiful summer evening.