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Standing at Water's Edge: A Cancer Nurse, Her Four-Year-Old Son and the Shifting Tides of Leukemia

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First Place 2022 American Journal of Nursing Book of the Year Award in Consumer Health

Janice Post-White was an oncology nurse who thought she knew what life with cancer was about--until her four-year-old son was diagnosed with leukemia. While he drew pictures to process his emotions, she buried her feelings and threw herself into managing a dual role as a medical professional and mother. Her memoir shares her son's perspective as a young cancer patient and teen survivor and explores her own personal and professional insights on survivorship, resilience, healing and what facing death can teach us about living.
Whether you are a parent struggling to come to terms with a child's illness, a medical professional looking to gain a deeper understanding of the human condition, or a cancer survivor seeking hope and inspiration, Janice's story is sure to touch your heart and leave you feeling inspired.

256 pages, Paperback

Published November 26, 2021

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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
Profile Image for Sacha Fortuné.
Author 5 books71 followers
April 20, 2022

Sacha's Book Reviews Blog

This was my fiftieth book I chose via the Reedsy Discovery program, for which I am the single approved reviewer for this new book. This review also appears on Reedsy.

If you're interested in becoming a Reedsy reviewer (and have the chance to get paid "tips" to review books!) check it out here.

The Premise
The author, cancer nurse Janice Post-White, recounts her experience as the mother of a child with cancer. Diagnosed with leukaemia at age four, Brennan is now an adult and survivor, but his battle with cancer left an indelible imprint on his mother, who never feels safe and “free” from cancer. Interspersed with Brennan’s childhood drawings and family photos, Janice tries to make sense of her experience through this memoir.

The Pros & Cons
This was a heartfelt and insightful memoir about love, family, and the tides of cancer.

The author’s expertise as a cancer nurse ultimately fails her when her own son is diagnosed with leukaemia. Her upbringing was shaped by her mother’s emotionally stunted responses and her father’s stoicism — typical of that era — which influenced her own psyche, and she bottled up her feelings:

[…] this history of buried emotions, unexpressed grief, and learned self-sufficiency […] accompanied me into the hospital when Brennan was diagnosed. Logically, I understood. Emotionally, under stress, I regressed.


Though her family all loved and supported each other, as Brennan’s mother she bore the bulk of the burden of responsibility on her own shoulders, always having to put on a brave face for everyone else, even her husband who withdrew into his own thoughts rather than sharing his fears with her:

We inhabited our own emotional orbits and just kept marching along. It was a time of getting through. The road map directed our actions but advised very little. I knew how to lead the army into battle, but I had no idea what to do with the effects, my responses and feelings.


As Brennan’s treatment progressed, she saw the light in him fade. Still, his drawings and conversations with her showed maturity beyond his years as he found his own ways to process what was happening with him:

I’d never imagined that I would lament the absence of his fiercely independent and tempestuous attitude. As I watched him, I pleaded with myself to find something, anything, in this boy that I recognized and loved. […] Chemotherapy was saving my son, but I felt I was losing him.


As she struggled to ensure Brennan’s protocols were followed despite his resistance, her own health suffered both physically as well as mentally, but there was little respite. Her workload seldom abated, and her health worsened. Nevertheless, she took on the mantle of leading a “cancer family” and tried to make their lives as normal as possible, with family vacations, sports, and activities scattered around hospital visits.

Fortunately, Brennan survived — but the shadow of doubt is always there. She was always acutely aware of his other “cancer peers” who relapsed and eventually died, and there were even instances of unexpected non-cancer-related deaths that rattled her even more. To this day, she still dreams of Brennan’s death.

This was a powerful and difficult read, as the author’s frankness and insightful honesty is gripping from beginning to end. The language and style of writing are engaging and thoughtfully executed, and it also includes a significant amount of research. I can see how this memoir was not only part of her own healing process, but also a roadmap for other parents or children that may be in the same situation.

Conclusion
I loved and enjoyed this journey that this memoir took me on, and it was truly moving. I am amazed at the trials she endured, and that she was able to manage a successful career despite her own family issues she was dealing with at the time. What also resonated with me were the moments that she took pause and said “Enough”, focusing on herself and her family for a short time to maintain that balance. At times raw, at times painful, overall this message is one of triumph and courage. I thank the author for sharing her story, and look forward to more of her writing.

___________
This review also appears on my blog. Visit to read more of my reviews: Sacha's Book Reviews Blog

Also be sure to check out Sacha's Must Read Recommendations

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1 review
December 30, 2021
I really enjoyed this read. Dr. Post-White brings her expertise to this story as a nurse, researcher and educator. Her heartfelt memoir navigating her 4 year old son's cancer sheds light on the whole family's experience and long term struggles. It is a must read for those in healthcare dealing with families who are traversing the oncology landscape. Thank you Dr. Post-White!
Profile Image for Karen DeBonis.
Author 1 book20 followers
January 6, 2023
As a researcher, educator, and oncology nurse, Janice Post-White has a unique perspective on her young son's cancer journey. Yet even with her top-notch qualifications, she struggles like any mother to make the best decisions for her son, navigate her own emotions, and meet the physical demands. What makes this book truly unique, however, is the inclusion of the drawings her son made to help him process all that he had to endure. I wish I'd known what this author knew when my own son experienced his medical crisis. This is a riveting and enlightening read with a unique perspective on the sick child, worried mom narrative.
Profile Image for Lindsay Ellen.
94 reviews
December 16, 2021
From a technical standpoint, I was really interested in the way that Janice used all the techniques I’ve learned about in my creative non-fiction writing class to create a compelling non fiction story. There are references to pop culture, flash back memories, pictures and visuals aids, lots of descriptions of the main characters, and more importantly, they all work together. The pictures and drawings in particular, what a sounding board for so much introspection and metaphor. The things that happened naturally to the characters allows for a lot of processing and reflection.
On a professional level, this book helped me understand a lot more what cancer treatment looks like, for children and their parents. I write for a magazine for oncology nurses. To read something that an oncology nurse wrote about her own familys’ personal experience fighting cancer really opened my eyes and helped me gain a new perspective which I hope will allow me to be a better oncology journalist.
Finally, I think this was a very powerful story. I don’t want to spoil anything, but I will say that I felt the highs and the lows of the family while reading, and that terror gripped me alongside the author. Highly recommend.
Profile Image for Nancy Klein  Maguire.
Author 6 books11 followers
September 3, 2022
Janice Post-White’s account to saving her young son’s life is terrifyingly accurate. Her stamina and perseverance amazes. As a PhD researcher in cancer, she moves between her professional role and her role as mother to Brandon, her four-year-old son with leukemia. She starkly articulates the constant conflict, always stressful, between her medical solution and her son’s emotional needs. She interweaves her own research while telling the story chronologically. With the help of a nanny, and a dedicated nurse, she triangulates her life between Brandon, her younger son Tyler, and her career.

Her energy, and her ability to sustain and endure, during the most threatening situations, boggles my mind. She is totally straightforward about the strain. I love the chapter in which she locks herself in the bathroom to get away from the demands of Brandon. It is so perfect. When my husband, dying from cholangiocarcinoma, was overly demanding, I tried to lock myself in our bedroom. She articulates very clearly the absolute need of a caregiver to escape from overwhelming demands. She copes with all these conflicting demands on her time and energy adroitly. I wondered if she might have spared herself by doing less professional work, at least for a time, during the three-year siege of cancer treatments.

I found it a fascinating read. The medical terminology might put the lay reader off, but I don’t think Post-White could have told the story without the terminology. Even when I didn’t know the vocabulary, I found it relatively easy to understand her message. Anyone dealing with cancer, either themselves, or a relative, or friend, will find this useful. Certainly, anyone dealing with childhood cancer. She does all of it brilliantly, and survives to tell the story twenty years later.
351 reviews4 followers
March 4, 2026
In Standing at Water’s Edge: A Cancer Nurse, Her Four-Year-Old Son and the Shifting Tides of Leukemia, Janice Post-White offers a profoundly moving memoir that explores what happens when professional expertise collides with personal vulnerability.

As an oncology nurse, Janice believed she understood cancer. She had spent years caring for patients and families facing devastating diagnoses. But when her four-year-old son was diagnosed with leukemia, that clinical knowledge suddenly took on an entirely different meaning.

What makes this memoir so compelling is the dual perspective it provides. Janice writes not only as a mother trying to hold her family together, but also as a healthcare professional who understands the medical realities unfolding around her child. That tension between clinical understanding and maternal fear creates a deeply emotional narrative.

Equally powerful are the glimpses into her son’s world, especially through the drawings he created to process his experience. These moments reveal how children interpret illness in ways that are both heartbreaking and profoundly insightful.

Rather than focusing solely on suffering, the memoir explores the broader landscape of survivorship, resilience, and the lessons that come from confronting mortality. Through moments of fear, hope, and reflection, Janice reminds readers that facing life’s most fragile moments can also deepen our understanding of what it means to truly live.

The result is a memoir that resonates not only with families affected by illness, but also with medical professionals seeking a deeper appreciation of the emotional realities behind every diagnosis.
Profile Image for MarilynW.
1,945 reviews4,482 followers
July 1, 2023
Standing at Water's Edge: A Cancer Nurse, Her Four-Year-Old Son and the Shifting Tides of Leukemia
By Janice Post-White, Narrated by Melanie Carey

This story is such an insightful and informative book of living with a child who has cancer. I could feel all the uncertainty, the hope for a successful outcome, and the fear of the worst to come. Throughout all the ups and downs of life going on despite life coming to a halt for time consuming, energy draining, cancer therapy, there is also the constant sense of guilt for not doing something differently, for not catching things sooner, for not seeing what was right there flashing a neon light for all to see. Or at least that is what a parent might tell themselves, they should have seen, they should have known, they should have done differently.

This same guilt and self recrimination can raise its ugly head through all of life (and death) though and finding a way to deal with those feelings is so very important. Janice Post-White makes that so clear as she goes back over her past where she'd learned early on to tamp down and cover up feelings so that by the time her son was diagnosed with leukemia she felt she should know how to navigate this impossible journey better than others. She was an oncology nurse yet here she was loaded with professional tools when it came to cancer but weighed down by the grief and guilt of any parent who wonders why this happened to their child.

Somewhere in all of this type of misery, whether it is losing a child, parent, or sibling, we have to remember and accept our humanness before we can heal from the hurts of the past and present. As much as it hurt to read of the suffering of Janice's family and other families, especially those whose children succumbed to cancer or other illnesses, I so appreciate her thoughts and insight. She doesn't have all the answers but just listening to the audiobook and hearing her doubts, her questions, her ponderings, and her attempts to come to grips with what was happening has given me a lot to think about in my own life. We all have things from out past that affect how we deal with our todays and tomorrows and we can at least work on healing our future, one day at a time.

I'm so glad I listened to the audiobook because the narration was excellent. I had no idea what Janice sounds like but the narrator, Melanie became the voice of Janice for me, she fit my picture so well. And I really do have a picture of Janice because she's on the cover of the book with her son, Brandon.

Janice's website is https://janicepostwhite.com/standing-... where you can see drawings by young Brandon and follow their continuing journey into the future. There is a video that will allow me to hear Janice and Brandon and I'm going to listen to it once I finish writing this review.

Published November 26, 2021

Thank you to BooksGoSocial Audio and NetGalley for this ARC.
Profile Image for Peter Murphy.
Author 11 books14 followers
September 3, 2023
The world is hard enough without reading a book about a child with cancer, so I cheated and read the end first and learned that the boy survived. Whew! I then read the rest of the book and am glad that I did. Brennan is a remarkable young man full of bravery, humor and wit. One of my favorite Brennanisms, “I wish I were Jesus” which he said to his mother in the midst of their ordeal. I was also moved by his drawings and the photographs included in the book. This made him real, not just a name or a character in a book. My grandson at 4½ is about the age Brennan was when he was diagnosed, so his story is even more…meaningful…painful…than it would ordinarily be.

Janice Post-White is a talented writer who manages to translate the medical jargon and procedures into language that I can understand and appreciate. I’m sorry that she and her family had to go through is, and I’m glad that they made it. I’m also glad she wrote about it. Damn. I didn’t think I would be moved so much. Give it a shot, and you will be too.


Profile Image for Linda Tate.
17 reviews2 followers
June 20, 2025
Standing at Water’s Edge is a deeply moving and courageous memoir that intertwines a mother’s fierce love, professional expertise, and emotional vulnerability as she navigates her son Brennan’s leukemia diagnosis. Janice Post-White’s dual role as both cancer nurse and mother adds a rare, poignant perspective that pulls readers into the complex world of pediatric cancer. Her honest reflections on fear, guilt, and resilience are incredibly relatable, whether or not one has faced a similar crisis. The author’s willingness to share not only the clinical aspects but also the emotional and familial impacts of such an ordeal creates an intimate, powerful narrative. This book is not just about illness but about survival physical, emotional, and spiritual. It reminds us of the strength within family bonds and the healing that comes from confronting our deepest fears. A beautifully written, brave, and ultimately hopeful account that stays with you long after the final page.
Profile Image for Sue Jack.
233 reviews6 followers
June 17, 2023
A powerful and emotional memoir detailing the author's journey following her son's diagnosis of leukaemia at the age of 4. Dr Post-White details her emotions as a mother alongside sharing her insights as an oncology nurse and researcher. The ways in which her professional experiences impact on the way she handles her relationship with her son is explored in fascinating detail.
The book also shares the experiences of her son by referring to the drawings he did throughout his treatment.
This is beautifully written and the audiobook narrator brought the memoir to life adding a real sense of the process the family endured.
I am grateful to Netgalley and the publishers for an audio copy of this book and am leaving my honest review voluntarily.
Profile Image for Henry Norman.
9 reviews3 followers
June 20, 2025
Standing at Water’s Edge is a deeply moving memoir that intertwines personal experience and professional insight. Janice Post-White, a cancer nurse and mother, takes us through the harrowing journey of her four-year-old son’s leukemia diagnosis and treatment. Her writing is honest, raw, and incredibly human, capturing both the scientific and emotional aspects of navigating childhood cancer. The book offers a rare dual perspective that of a caregiver and a mother making it both informative and heartbreaking. Post-White’s reflections on resilience, fear, and healing resonate long after the last page. This is not just a book about illness, but about love, strength, and the complexity of human emotions. A beautifully written narrative that will touch anyone who reads it.
Profile Image for Charlotte Donald.
1 review
June 20, 2025
Janice Post-White’s Standing at Water’s Edge is a compelling account of a mother’s fight to save her son while battling her own professional knowledge and personal fear. The detailed recounting of medical procedures is balanced with tender moments of vulnerability. Her candid exploration of guilt, hope, and determination offers readers an intimate look at the toll serious illness takes on a family. Post-White’s prose is both gentle and powerful, reminding us that healing involves more than medicine it requires emotional courage. Her integration of personal history, including generational struggles with mental health, adds a profound layer of depth. This book is both heart-wrenching and uplifting.
Profile Image for Benjamin Alexander.
4 reviews1 follower
June 20, 2025
In Standing at Water’s Edge, Janice Post-White shares her son’s leukemia battle with unflinching honesty and grace. As both a medical professional and a mother, her unique perspective sheds light on the emotional complexities of caregiving. The memoir skillfully blends clinical details with raw emotion, making it accessible to readers inside and outside the medical world. Post-White’s vulnerability shines as she confronts her fears, regrets, and hopes for her son’s future. The inclusion of her family’s multi-generational emotional patterns enriches the narrative, making it more than just a story about illness it’s a testament to the human spirit’s resilience. A powerful and enlightening read.
Profile Image for Diana Chris.
2 reviews
July 5, 2025
Standing at Water’s Edge is a powerful, deeply moving memoir that blends the clinical insight of a cancer nurse with the raw emotion of a mother. Janice Post-White’s writing is luminous and deeply human, offering an honest window into the chaos and courage of childhood cancer. Her vulnerability is striking she makes the fear, doubt, and hope palpable. Brennan’s voice and artwork give the story authenticity and innocence. The book never sensationalizes; instead, it invites readers into an intimate journey of survival. It balances professional knowledge with maternal love in a way few memoirs ever do. I found myself in tears and reflection, often at once. This is not just a cancer story it’s a healing one. Every parent, caregiver, and medical professional should read this.
Profile Image for Kent Jason.
3 reviews2 followers
July 5, 2025
Janice Post-White’s Standing at Water’s Edge is an unforgettable tribute to the strength of the human spirit. It’s rare to find a book that captures both the clinical realities of leukemia and the emotional terrain of parenting a sick child. The author’s dual identity as a nurse and mother creates a beautifully layered narrative. Her ability to reflect on the past with compassion and clarity is admirable. The chapters are filled with honesty, grief, and resilience. The inclusion of her son’s journals and drawings adds a tender, personal touch. This memoir educates, comforts, and inspires. A must-read for anyone navigating illness or caregiving. It reminds us that healing is as much emotional as it is physical. Simply outstanding.
Profile Image for Amy Daniels.
Author 1 book3 followers
October 8, 2022
Incredible book of love, hope, reality, and thought-provoking ideas. Janice Post-White tells the story of learning of her young son’s ALL diagnosis with the interesting perspective of being an oncology nurse – a captivating story that I not only learned from but related to. My child did not have ALL but did have a brain tumor from a young age, and the emotions Janice delves into were so familiar. I loved following along on their journey and I felt like I watched Brennan and Tyler grow up in front of me. Great read with thought-provoking ideas on what parents of children diagnosed with cancer often experience.
Profile Image for Emily Grace.
9 reviews2 followers
June 20, 2025
Standing at Water’s Edge offers an intimate portrayal of navigating a child’s cancer diagnosis while reconciling the mother’s professional role as a cancer nurse. Janice Post-White masterfully conveys the terrifying uncertainties, the painstaking medical processes, and the quiet strength needed to endure. Her reflections on her family’s emotional legacy add poignant layers to the memoir. This book offers comfort and understanding to those who have faced medical crises, while also educating readers about the emotional toll that accompanies serious illness. Post-White’s writing is compassionate, honest, and deeply empathetic. An inspiring story of love, loss, and survival.

Profile Image for Ethan James.
6 reviews2 followers
June 20, 2025
Janice Post-White’s Standing at Water’s Edge is not just a memoir it’s a lifeline for anyone facing the terrifying unknown of childhood illness. The balance of her professional knowledge and maternal love creates a rich, nuanced narrative. The author’s willingness to reveal her own fears, mistakes, and moments of strength makes this book incredibly relatable. Her journey through her son’s leukemia treatment is harrowing yet filled with hope. The way she weaves in her family history adds a touching generational perspective on resilience. This is a story of fear, healing, and ultimately, hope beautifully written and profoundly moving.

Profile Image for Britany Joshua.
4 reviews
July 5, 2025
Standing at Water’s Edge is breathtaking in its honesty and insight. Janice Post-White has written not only a memoir of her son’s battle with leukemia but a layered story of personal awakening. As a cancer nurse, she had knowledge but as a mother, she had to learn surrender. The emotional depth in this book is profound. Her reflections on generational trauma, emotional inheritance, and healing are as compelling as the medical journey. Brennan’s presence on the page is radiant and unforgettable. It’s beautifully written, at times poetic, and always authentic. I felt seen, supported, and uplifted. This memoir is a testament to love’s power to guide us through the darkest waters.
Profile Image for Micheal Coleman.
4 reviews1 follower
July 24, 2025
Few books manage to be both medically insightful and spiritually awakening, but Janice Post-White accomplishes both with remarkable skill in “Standing at Water’s Edge.” Her journey as a mother and nurse caring for a child with cancer is written with humility, wisdom, and profound love. It offers readers a rare opportunity to walk through the lived experience of survivorship not only the child’s but also the caregiver’s. With raw emotion and reflective depth, this memoir teaches us about courage, the complexity of healing, and how we can learn to live more fully by confronting death. A stunning, life-affirming read.
Profile Image for Kyle R..
4 reviews
June 13, 2025
Standing at Water’s Edge is both heartbreaking and uplifting in equal measure.
Janice Post-White invites readers into the sacred space of a mother’s fight to protect her child.
Her dual lens as caregiver and clinician offers rare, valuable perspective.
What struck me most was her honesty about fear, control, and letting go.
Each chapter is filled with moments of quiet courage and fierce love.
It’s a memoir that lingers long after the final page is turned.
A powerful tribute to the strength found in vulnerability.
Profile Image for Miriam.
9 reviews
June 13, 2025
Janice Post-White’s writing is fearless, elegant, and deeply humane.
She gives voice to the silent fears of every parent who’s lived through a diagnosis.
The narrative is layered with vulnerability, strength, and hard-won wisdom.
Even in the most painful moments, she finds clarity and purpose.
I felt seen in these pages and comforted by her strength.
This book is for anyone who has ever loved deeply and feared greatly.
A breathtaking reminder of the power of presence and storytelling.
Profile Image for Kilgore Michelle.
24 reviews2 followers
June 20, 2025
A moving, beautifully written memoir that blends medical insight with raw maternal emotion.
Janice Post-White, a cancer nurse, becomes the mother of a young leukemia patient.
Her dual perspective creates a layered, honest look at illness, resilience, and survival.
The emotional restraint she maintains as a mother is as heartbreaking as it is relatable.
Her son’s drawings add a touching, childlike lens to a heavy subject.
This isn’t just a cancer story it’s a reflection on presence, love, and letting go.
Post-White doesn’t offer easy answers, only hard-earned truths.
The writing is tender, clinical when necessary, and deeply human throughout.
A must-read for caregivers, health professionals, and parents alike.
Both heart-wrenching and healing in equal measure.
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