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256 pages, Paperback
Published November 26, 2021
[…] this history of buried emotions, unexpressed grief, and learned self-sufficiency […] accompanied me into the hospital when Brennan was diagnosed. Logically, I understood. Emotionally, under stress, I regressed.
We inhabited our own emotional orbits and just kept marching along. It was a time of getting through. The road map directed our actions but advised very little. I knew how to lead the army into battle, but I had no idea what to do with the effects, my responses and feelings.
I’d never imagined that I would lament the absence of his fiercely independent and tempestuous attitude. As I watched him, I pleaded with myself to find something, anything, in this boy that I recognized and loved. […] Chemotherapy was saving my son, but I felt I was losing him.