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This Way Out
It’s time everyone knew the truth, and what better way to announce you’re getting married (and gay) than on your family WhatsApp group?
Amar can’t wait to tell everyone his wonderful news: he’s found The One, and he’s getting married. But it turns out announcing his engagement on a group chat might not have been the best way to let his strict Muslim Bangladeshi family know that his happy-ever-after partner is a man—and a white man at that.
Amar expected a reaction from his four siblings, but his bombshell sends shockwaves throughout the community and begins to fracture their family unit, already fragile from the death of their mother. Suddenly Amar is questioning everything he once believed in: his faith, his culture, his family, his mother’s love—and even his relationship with Joshua. Amar was sure he knew what love meant, but was he just plain wrong?
He’s never thought of his relationship with Joshua as a love story—they just fit together, like two halves of a whole. But if they can reconcile their differences with Amar’s culture, could there be hope for his relationship with his family too? And could this whole disaster turn into a love story after all?
Amar can’t wait to tell everyone his wonderful news: he’s found The One, and he’s getting married. But it turns out announcing his engagement on a group chat might not have been the best way to let his strict Muslim Bangladeshi family know that his happy-ever-after partner is a man—and a white man at that.
Amar expected a reaction from his four siblings, but his bombshell sends shockwaves throughout the community and begins to fracture their family unit, already fragile from the death of their mother. Suddenly Amar is questioning everything he once believed in: his faith, his culture, his family, his mother’s love—and even his relationship with Joshua. Amar was sure he knew what love meant, but was he just plain wrong?
He’s never thought of his relationship with Joshua as a love story—they just fit together, like two halves of a whole. But if they can reconcile their differences with Amar’s culture, could there be hope for his relationship with his family too? And could this whole disaster turn into a love story after all?
271 pages, Paperback
First published July 1, 2022
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4317 people want to read
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February 13, 2023A contemporary romance narrated by a British Bangladeshi guy who WhatsApps his culturally and religiously (Muslim) traditional family to let them know he's gay and marrying a white guy.
This is an immensely raw and real feeling book in many ways, with the different and mostly very flawed responses of his family, the well meaning but thumpingly crass boyfriend's family, and Amar's struggles with his faith as well as his conceptions of his own career. He also struggles with the idea of going to therapy as a white people thing, but thank goodness he does because there's a lot going on here.
Everyone in this book is pretty flawed in very real ways. eg Joshua the fiance doesn't really see a lot of the microaggressions and bits of patronage, assumption, exclusion, disinterest to which his friends and family and even he subject Amar. But Amar has actively avoided having those difficult conversations with him, just as he's never told his family he's gay, and improving matters involves some difficult painful conversations on all sides and explaining stuff and extending a lot of grace to people who've screwed up. We absolutely feel how exhausting and difficult this is for Amar, and there is a visible alternative (a group of found-family queer Muslims, some of them entirely cut off from their families, who open their arms to him), but we understand his decision to fight for Joshua and his family relationships, and we see the improvements people make because they love him.
The writing is perhaps a bit, oh, factual and I really don't think first person present tense helps, it makes for a lot of declarative statements. I was hugely invested in the story because of the characters, not the writing.
It's very much Amar's story--we kind of take it as read that Joshua is the man for him rather than seeing much of it in action. Notwithstanding it's a story that really focuses on a romantic arc and HEA for a gay British Bangladeshi Muslim guy, which is both important in itself and a really engaging, relatable read.
This is an immensely raw and real feeling book in many ways, with the different and mostly very flawed responses of his family, the well meaning but thumpingly crass boyfriend's family, and Amar's struggles with his faith as well as his conceptions of his own career. He also struggles with the idea of going to therapy as a white people thing, but thank goodness he does because there's a lot going on here.
Everyone in this book is pretty flawed in very real ways. eg Joshua the fiance doesn't really see a lot of the microaggressions and bits of patronage, assumption, exclusion, disinterest to which his friends and family and even he subject Amar. But Amar has actively avoided having those difficult conversations with him, just as he's never told his family he's gay, and improving matters involves some difficult painful conversations on all sides and explaining stuff and extending a lot of grace to people who've screwed up. We absolutely feel how exhausting and difficult this is for Amar, and there is a visible alternative (a group of found-family queer Muslims, some of them entirely cut off from their families, who open their arms to him), but we understand his decision to fight for Joshua and his family relationships, and we see the improvements people make because they love him.
The writing is perhaps a bit, oh, factual and I really don't think first person present tense helps, it makes for a lot of declarative statements. I was hugely invested in the story because of the characters, not the writing.
It's very much Amar's story--we kind of take it as read that Joshua is the man for him rather than seeing much of it in action. Notwithstanding it's a story that really focuses on a romantic arc and HEA for a gay British Bangladeshi Muslim guy, which is both important in itself and a really engaging, relatable read.
August 7, 2022
3.5*
I'm very, very conflicted about this one so I shall require a few days to think things over...
So it's been a couple of days and I finally feel comfortable enough to sit my ass down and write a proper review, or as proper as I could get, about This Way Out.
I'm still very much conflicted about this book as a whole, and I strongly believe that that feeling won't be going away anytime soon.
Do I recommend This Way Out to other readers? Honestly, yes I do.
This book was fresh, certainly unique and very much refreshing to see in a sea of white people books but let me just say that if you're Arab, Asian, or you come from anywhere near said areas and you're queer, you're going to have a tough time with this book.
This Way Out was a book I did not expect to find out in the world.
Yes, books are more diverse nowadays but I still didn't expect to find a story about a South Asian (that's where Bangladesh is, right?) gay man coming out to his rather extremely religious Muslim family and getting his heart absolutely shattered at the vitriol that came out of them.
Was that a lot? Yes, but that's how I felt when I was reading it.
I related so strongly to Amar, to this book in general that I got overly emotional several times throughout the reading process.
It hurt so fucking much seeing how his family turned against him, especially the unforgivable shit that Asad threw at his younger brother after he came out to them. That's the fear of every Arab queer person, to have their family turn against them if they ever found the courage to come out so yes, that was extremely hard to read for me.
Did the majority of them recover by the end? Yes, in a way, but it was very hard to overcome what had happened at the coming out scene.
Amar as a main character wasn't the most likeable one.
Self-absorbed, extremely whiny and bitchy throughout the whole book, he spent the entire time being overly dramatic, extremely sensitive, complaining about white people and judging them which I completely understood. White people can suck ass a lot of the time, but how hypocritical can you be when you don't want them to judge you and make assumptions about you when you're doing the exact same thing to them throughout the entire book?
He just wasn't likeable to me, which was the first strike for this book.
The other characters that were introduced here were certainly... Interesting.
His bestfriend, whose name I forgot, was fun if a tad one dimensional because she never had too much to do beside comfort and be there for him whenever he was losing it, which was for the majority of the book.
His fiance, Joshua, was the most bland of all the white men I've ever read about. Plus, he was Amar's punching bag throughout the book. He literally had no character traits, and he was always blamed for not understanding where Amar comes from or a lot about his culture, and while I get that... He's a middle class white man from England, if you're not there to helo educate him about your culture, how is he going to learn anything about it?
I did very much enjoy the queer Muslim group he joins in the second half of the book, mainly because it made Amar feel seen and that he wasn't alone in this.
Very big fan of the therapy aspect to the book, which felt necessary since Amar was a MESS.
What I wasn't a fan of was him being prejudiced against therapy, saying it's for white middle aged women and that it's not for people of color like us.
Yes, I get it, he wasn't wrong when he said that we were expected to bottle everything in and not discuss our emotions, but this book was written and set in 2022 so that was an unacceptable way of thinking.
This book felt very personal to me, because I related, heavily, to a lot of it, but at the same time I can acknowledge how problematic and just generally not great it was in a lot of places (don't get me started on the Tiktok storyline, because that's probably just a me thing being annoyed at it for being too modern lol).
When I say it felt personal, I mean that it felt very personal. No, I am not a Muslim queer man from Bangladesh, but I am a queer man from a Muslim country so I've seen all there is to see when it comes to how queer men are treated if discovered, so I can confidently say that I get it.
The ending worked, even though I still didn't buy Joshua and Amar as a couple, but it worked.
Most of Amar's family being there for him at his wedding really made me emotional, because even if it wasn't 100% realistic, it gave me hope that shit like that could still happen in today's world.
I'm very, very conflicted about this one so I shall require a few days to think things over...
So it's been a couple of days and I finally feel comfortable enough to sit my ass down and write a proper review, or as proper as I could get, about This Way Out.
I'm still very much conflicted about this book as a whole, and I strongly believe that that feeling won't be going away anytime soon.
Do I recommend This Way Out to other readers? Honestly, yes I do.
This book was fresh, certainly unique and very much refreshing to see in a sea of white people books but let me just say that if you're Arab, Asian, or you come from anywhere near said areas and you're queer, you're going to have a tough time with this book.
This Way Out was a book I did not expect to find out in the world.
Yes, books are more diverse nowadays but I still didn't expect to find a story about a South Asian (that's where Bangladesh is, right?) gay man coming out to his rather extremely religious Muslim family and getting his heart absolutely shattered at the vitriol that came out of them.
Was that a lot? Yes, but that's how I felt when I was reading it.
I related so strongly to Amar, to this book in general that I got overly emotional several times throughout the reading process.
It hurt so fucking much seeing how his family turned against him, especially the unforgivable shit that Asad threw at his younger brother after he came out to them. That's the fear of every Arab queer person, to have their family turn against them if they ever found the courage to come out so yes, that was extremely hard to read for me.
Did the majority of them recover by the end? Yes, in a way, but it was very hard to overcome what had happened at the coming out scene.
Amar as a main character wasn't the most likeable one.
Self-absorbed, extremely whiny and bitchy throughout the whole book, he spent the entire time being overly dramatic, extremely sensitive, complaining about white people and judging them which I completely understood. White people can suck ass a lot of the time, but how hypocritical can you be when you don't want them to judge you and make assumptions about you when you're doing the exact same thing to them throughout the entire book?
He just wasn't likeable to me, which was the first strike for this book.
The other characters that were introduced here were certainly... Interesting.
His bestfriend, whose name I forgot, was fun if a tad one dimensional because she never had too much to do beside comfort and be there for him whenever he was losing it, which was for the majority of the book.
His fiance, Joshua, was the most bland of all the white men I've ever read about. Plus, he was Amar's punching bag throughout the book. He literally had no character traits, and he was always blamed for not understanding where Amar comes from or a lot about his culture, and while I get that... He's a middle class white man from England, if you're not there to helo educate him about your culture, how is he going to learn anything about it?
I did very much enjoy the queer Muslim group he joins in the second half of the book, mainly because it made Amar feel seen and that he wasn't alone in this.
Very big fan of the therapy aspect to the book, which felt necessary since Amar was a MESS.
What I wasn't a fan of was him being prejudiced against therapy, saying it's for white middle aged women and that it's not for people of color like us.
Yes, I get it, he wasn't wrong when he said that we were expected to bottle everything in and not discuss our emotions, but this book was written and set in 2022 so that was an unacceptable way of thinking.
This book felt very personal to me, because I related, heavily, to a lot of it, but at the same time I can acknowledge how problematic and just generally not great it was in a lot of places (don't get me started on the Tiktok storyline, because that's probably just a me thing being annoyed at it for being too modern lol).
When I say it felt personal, I mean that it felt very personal. No, I am not a Muslim queer man from Bangladesh, but I am a queer man from a Muslim country so I've seen all there is to see when it comes to how queer men are treated if discovered, so I can confidently say that I get it.
The ending worked, even though I still didn't buy Joshua and Amar as a couple, but it worked.
Most of Amar's family being there for him at his wedding really made me emotional, because even if it wasn't 100% realistic, it gave me hope that shit like that could still happen in today's world.
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June 15, 2022I am simply not a contemporary fiction kind of Queer.
I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me—but actually you.
Nice idea, though.
I’m sorry. It’s not you, it’s me—but actually you.
Nice idea, though.
June 19, 2022
Loss, love and family
This is the story of Amar a scared, greving, gay, Muslim, Bangladeshi, born in London guy. That is, after 3 years, trying to come to terms with the passing of his mother.
He's in a committed, loving and extremely supportive relationship with Joshua (his religion is never mentioned), who proposed recently. This is where the problem begin, in a whim Amar decided to text his family WhatsApp group to come out and share the wedding news. You can imagine how that one went.
From there everything goes down hill pretty fast, his family not accepting him (as you could expect from a deeply religious family), him spending so much of his time being self absorbed, dramatic and taking the victim role that ends up blaming his fiance for not being an expert in what he might be thinking, feeling or going through (obviously without sharing one thought with him).
This is where I was having some difficulty liking the character. But at the same time is necessary because otherwise we wouldn't see all the soul searching that happens next.
Truly is a ride, and plants the seed for some personal discussion with myself.
It also takes the time to show and expose us to a different culture which is one of the reasons I picked this book
This is the story of Amar a scared, greving, gay, Muslim, Bangladeshi, born in London guy. That is, after 3 years, trying to come to terms with the passing of his mother.
He's in a committed, loving and extremely supportive relationship with Joshua (his religion is never mentioned), who proposed recently. This is where the problem begin, in a whim Amar decided to text his family WhatsApp group to come out and share the wedding news. You can imagine how that one went.
From there everything goes down hill pretty fast, his family not accepting him (as you could expect from a deeply religious family), him spending so much of his time being self absorbed, dramatic and taking the victim role that ends up blaming his fiance for not being an expert in what he might be thinking, feeling or going through (obviously without sharing one thought with him).
This is where I was having some difficulty liking the character. But at the same time is necessary because otherwise we wouldn't see all the soul searching that happens next.
Truly is a ride, and plants the seed for some personal discussion with myself.
It also takes the time to show and expose us to a different culture which is one of the reasons I picked this book
Want to read
July 12, 2022A Lgbtqia book and the main character is Bangladesh! I'm dying out of happiness right now. I can't explain how excited I'm to read this book..Why didn't I heard of it before?
June 1, 2022
Amazon first read
Received this book as an Amazon first and honestly it’s not a typical storyline I usually ready but the blurb hooked me in and I read this in a day.
Received this book as an Amazon first and honestly it’s not a typical storyline I usually ready but the blurb hooked me in and I read this in a day.
June 3, 2022
The way it should be...
I just wanted a sweet story to help offset life's heaviness. What I found was a delightfully lovely tale of modern love and how it can be found in the most unexpected of places.
It's wonderful reading a book that acknowledges the intricacies of acknowledging biases and actively working on solutions.
Highly recommend read.
I just wanted a sweet story to help offset life's heaviness. What I found was a delightfully lovely tale of modern love and how it can be found in the most unexpected of places.
It's wonderful reading a book that acknowledges the intricacies of acknowledging biases and actively working on solutions.
Highly recommend read.
June 2, 2022
I got this as an Amazon First Read and can't recommend it enough.
Heartbreaking, heartwarming and uplifting - I genuinely couldn't put it down and read it in a day. I laughed, cried and didn't want it to finish.
Heartbreaking, heartwarming and uplifting - I genuinely couldn't put it down and read it in a day. I laughed, cried and didn't want it to finish.
June 12, 2022
I chose this as my Amazon First Read. This book could have benefited from more show and less tell - trust your readers to be smart enough to put two and two together.
June 21, 2024
Well this was a quick and (sometimes) cute read. Exactly what I needed, given that my last book was The Great Believers.
The plot revolves around Amar, a British man with Bangladeshi heritage, who tells his (Muslim) family that he's gay via WhatsApp, and engaged to a white man named Joshua. Cue family issues, relationship issues, and an identity crisis.
I will be honest and say that the writing wasn't the best at times - I'd rather have had more showing and less telling. Plus the constant listing of characters to let us know who exactly is present in a scene. That said, I did like the character of Amar. The supporting characters were decent too, in particular Elijah, Lila, Malika and, dare I say it, Josephine.
This book also lends a voice to the gay British Muslim community, as well as offering layers to a community so often viewed through a single lens. I have several gay Muslim friends, and they and their families are as mixed a bunch as any. This book almost read like non-fiction at times, perhaps a thinly veiled memoir along the lines of Mohsin Zaidi's A Dutiful Boy, about growing up as a gay British Muslim, or Angela Hui's Takeaway, about growing up as a daughter of immigrants from Hong Kong in a Chinese takeaway in rural Wales. In fact if Tufayel Ahmed told me that this book was a memoir, all it would take is a bit of a change in style and I'd believe him!
I did think that the book was veering in one direction towards the end, but Tufayel Ahmed threw a curveball. In fact, I was all ready to give the book 3*, but then the ending...THE ENDING. While it does get a bit heavy in places (and, dare I say, repetitive), the overarching message about self-love, reconciliation, and acceptance wins out, especially with the way it was done. Plus, there's an element of realism here, too - it's not all fairy dust and rainbows.
Recommended if you're looking for an insight into life as a gay POC/Muslim, or if you want something with a message that isn't completely emotionally devastating. Eager to see what Tufayel Ahmed comes out with next!
The plot revolves around Amar, a British man with Bangladeshi heritage, who tells his (Muslim) family that he's gay via WhatsApp, and engaged to a white man named Joshua. Cue family issues, relationship issues, and an identity crisis.
I will be honest and say that the writing wasn't the best at times - I'd rather have had more showing and less telling. Plus the constant listing of characters to let us know who exactly is present in a scene. That said, I did like the character of Amar. The supporting characters were decent too, in particular Elijah, Lila, Malika and, dare I say it, Josephine.
This book also lends a voice to the gay British Muslim community, as well as offering layers to a community so often viewed through a single lens. I have several gay Muslim friends, and they and their families are as mixed a bunch as any. This book almost read like non-fiction at times, perhaps a thinly veiled memoir along the lines of Mohsin Zaidi's A Dutiful Boy, about growing up as a gay British Muslim, or Angela Hui's Takeaway, about growing up as a daughter of immigrants from Hong Kong in a Chinese takeaway in rural Wales. In fact if Tufayel Ahmed told me that this book was a memoir, all it would take is a bit of a change in style and I'd believe him!
I did think that the book was veering in one direction towards the end, but Tufayel Ahmed threw a curveball. In fact, I was all ready to give the book 3*, but then the ending...THE ENDING. While it does get a bit heavy in places (and, dare I say, repetitive), the overarching message about self-love, reconciliation, and acceptance wins out, especially with the way it was done. Plus, there's an element of realism here, too - it's not all fairy dust and rainbows.
Recommended if you're looking for an insight into life as a gay POC/Muslim, or if you want something with a message that isn't completely emotionally devastating. Eager to see what Tufayel Ahmed comes out with next!
June 13, 2022
This isn’t my first gay romance novel. However, this is by far the best one I’ve read.
Ahmed kind of stumbles in the beginning. It’s almost as if you can tell he’s nervous to be writing the story, but relatively quickly, that fades away (seamlessly) and you get absorbed into the story.
As a typical midwestern white lady, my exposure to Muslim culture has been small. And while I understood the plights of LGBTQ+ people coming out to their families, I can honestly say that I never really stopped to think about the cultural aspects of it and how that can make a difficult thing become even more difficult.
Amar and Joshua and what they go through in this story, it is eye opening. Again, not in the “gay coming out of the closet” typical kind of way, but the full impact of how far it reaches, how it crosses cultures, how to integrate cultures, things that you don’t always think about when you read a coming out romance.
I ended up so vested in the journey that Amar goes on in this book that I found myself laughing, crying, and yelling out loud. (Good thing my family is used to it)
This is a beautiful story that teaches even the densest of us that we never really see the big picture. In my house, I don’t care. Truly. I’ve told all my children that they never have to come out to me. Just bring your partner home and introduce them. As long as they are happy and treated well, I don’t care about anything else. However, this book did teach me to make sure and to think not only of the person, but of their culture. And don’t be afraid to ask questions. People would rather you ask then make an assumption.
I highly recommend this book. Truly. For me, it was outside of my comfort zone and I was super hesitant in the beginning but I am glad I sat in the awkwardness and learned.
Please. Go read this. Not only for the amazing story and great characters but because you may just learn something.
Ahmed kind of stumbles in the beginning. It’s almost as if you can tell he’s nervous to be writing the story, but relatively quickly, that fades away (seamlessly) and you get absorbed into the story.
As a typical midwestern white lady, my exposure to Muslim culture has been small. And while I understood the plights of LGBTQ+ people coming out to their families, I can honestly say that I never really stopped to think about the cultural aspects of it and how that can make a difficult thing become even more difficult.
Amar and Joshua and what they go through in this story, it is eye opening. Again, not in the “gay coming out of the closet” typical kind of way, but the full impact of how far it reaches, how it crosses cultures, how to integrate cultures, things that you don’t always think about when you read a coming out romance.
I ended up so vested in the journey that Amar goes on in this book that I found myself laughing, crying, and yelling out loud. (Good thing my family is used to it)
This is a beautiful story that teaches even the densest of us that we never really see the big picture. In my house, I don’t care. Truly. I’ve told all my children that they never have to come out to me. Just bring your partner home and introduce them. As long as they are happy and treated well, I don’t care about anything else. However, this book did teach me to make sure and to think not only of the person, but of their culture. And don’t be afraid to ask questions. People would rather you ask then make an assumption.
I highly recommend this book. Truly. For me, it was outside of my comfort zone and I was super hesitant in the beginning but I am glad I sat in the awkwardness and learned.
Please. Go read this. Not only for the amazing story and great characters but because you may just learn something.
June 2, 2023
Really a 3 or 3.5, but I'm going to go up to 4, as I appreciated not just the representation and inclusiveness throughout the book, but also because the author addresses the many microaggressions, misunderstanding, and missed signals that come when different cultures either collide or merge, even when people really do mean well. The characters themselves were alright, and the storyline. Would recommend this book. Happy Pride!
June 20, 2022
I got this as a kindle first read. It's not usually something I would pick up, but it sounded interesting so I gave it a go. It's better than most kindle first books I've read. Beyond that, it was just fine. Before I really start talking about the book, I will say I am a mostly-straight, white woman.
I didn't like Amar. He was dramatic, judgmental, hypocritical, and annoying. He's wallowing in self-pity for 80% of the book. The supporting characters were much better, imo, though I don't think any of them were as fleshed out as they could have been. There was a lot of telling me what was happening rather than showing or allowing the reader to figure things out for themselves.
Was I rooting for Amar while reading this? Yes, but only because everyone deserves to be wholly themselves without retribution from loved ones. But Joshua deserves better.
I also saw this being tagged as a comedy on Amazon. It most definitely is not. There was nothing comedic about this at all. It's a story about someone trying to overcome their trauma and institutional racism.
I didn't like Amar. He was dramatic, judgmental, hypocritical, and annoying. He's wallowing in self-pity for 80% of the book. The supporting characters were much better, imo, though I don't think any of them were as fleshed out as they could have been. There was a lot of telling me what was happening rather than showing or allowing the reader to figure things out for themselves.
Was I rooting for Amar while reading this? Yes, but only because everyone deserves to be wholly themselves without retribution from loved ones. But Joshua deserves better.
I also saw this being tagged as a comedy on Amazon. It most definitely is not. There was nothing comedic about this at all. It's a story about someone trying to overcome their trauma and institutional racism.
January 28, 2024
This isn't so much a romance as it is a coming out story. Amar is a bit too old to call this a coming of age story; I think of it more as a coming to grips.
Amar can be frustrating at times. Like, I totally get that white people have privilege in many respects, but being white doesn't guarantee you'll have it easier coming out. Religious conservatives are religious conservatives, no matter what their color, and even when religion isn't part of the equation, that doesn't guarantee that a family will be chill when one of their own comes out. I appreciated when Malika called him out on the therapy issue, at least. All that said, Joshua and especially Josephine had some major blinders on, and I liked that they were receptive to criticism once Amar realized that he actually had to give it since they weren't telepaths.
I'm a bit baffled though why Amar took so long to realize that he wasn't the only gay Muslim in London, especially when he starts describing one of his previous relationships. But I was proud for him when he finally found some friends who he could relate to and who could relate to him. That additional support went a long way, and I really liked Hussein. And since this wasn't necessarily Romance, it wasn't a given that Amar would up with Joshua or Hussein at the end, and that unpredictability allowed for certain parts to hit harder than they would have otherwise.
Amar can be frustrating at times. Like, I totally get that white people have privilege in many respects, but being white doesn't guarantee you'll have it easier coming out. Religious conservatives are religious conservatives, no matter what their color, and even when religion isn't part of the equation, that doesn't guarantee that a family will be chill when one of their own comes out. I appreciated when Malika called him out on the therapy issue, at least. All that said, Joshua and especially Josephine had some major blinders on, and I liked that they were receptive to criticism once Amar realized that he actually had to give it since they weren't telepaths.
I'm a bit baffled though why Amar took so long to realize that he wasn't the only gay Muslim in London, especially when he starts describing one of his previous relationships. But I was proud for him when he finally found some friends who he could relate to and who could relate to him. That additional support went a long way, and I really liked Hussein. And since this wasn't necessarily Romance, it wasn't a given that Amar would up with Joshua or Hussein at the end, and that unpredictability allowed for certain parts to hit harder than they would have otherwise.
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June 7, 2022This had a few problems for me.
I didn't like the style of writing, which I know is a personal issue, I wasn't a fan of the first person present tense. Because of this I won't give it a rating.
However, there are a few issues and factual problems. The Simon and Tony gay kiss on Eastenders aired in 1996, I remember it well and was happy to see it used in the book. For me as a child it was an eye opener to see the outrage about it and not understand it and feel awful about it.
Anyway, in the book the character is aged 10 as they are watching it, however later on the character is 28 years old in 2022, which actually would make him 2 when it was on the TV.
Also, on the same page the road is called both Mileson Road and Mileson Street. It's an either or situation for a street name.
I didn't like the style of writing, which I know is a personal issue, I wasn't a fan of the first person present tense. Because of this I won't give it a rating.
However, there are a few issues and factual problems. The Simon and Tony gay kiss on Eastenders aired in 1996, I remember it well and was happy to see it used in the book. For me as a child it was an eye opener to see the outrage about it and not understand it and feel awful about it.
Anyway, in the book the character is aged 10 as they are watching it, however later on the character is 28 years old in 2022, which actually would make him 2 when it was on the TV.
Also, on the same page the road is called both Mileson Road and Mileson Street. It's an either or situation for a street name.
May 21, 2024
One of those books with excellent intentions let down by pedestrian execution.
5 stars for awareness raising (some excellent points made about the corrosive effect of multiple micro-agressions and a truly dreadful party). Lots to think about here.
2 stars for the unimaginative 1st person present tense narrative. It felt as if 90% of the book was tell-tell-tell; a shame because the occasional dialogue was far more illuminating.
Characterisation was distinctly subordinate to a clunky messaging (Joshua, looking hard at you).
And I am 100% behind everyone being able to express their feelings freely, but when our MC cried or sobbed or wept once a chapter, the frequency eroded the effect of what should have been a real emotional punch. Pity.
5 stars for awareness raising (some excellent points made about the corrosive effect of multiple micro-agressions and a truly dreadful party). Lots to think about here.
2 stars for the unimaginative 1st person present tense narrative. It felt as if 90% of the book was tell-tell-tell; a shame because the occasional dialogue was far more illuminating.
Characterisation was distinctly subordinate to a clunky messaging (Joshua, looking hard at you).
And I am 100% behind everyone being able to express their feelings freely, but when our MC cried or sobbed or wept once a chapter, the frequency eroded the effect of what should have been a real emotional punch. Pity.
March 26, 2023
DNF at 20%.
I listened for 2 hours to give this novel a fair chance. It is not for me. I have no patience for long discussions about being gay is not a choice. And the very limited mentioning of the fiance make me fear this story is not about a relationship but one long inner monolog.
The narrator is no performer but a reader. I have major issues with his pauses between sentences. Pauses up to three seconds or more. You have to listen closely: if the next word is a conjucture you know it is still the same paragraph.
Follow my reviews at https://hemmelm.blogspot.com/
I listened for 2 hours to give this novel a fair chance. It is not for me. I have no patience for long discussions about being gay is not a choice. And the very limited mentioning of the fiance make me fear this story is not about a relationship but one long inner monolog.
The narrator is no performer but a reader. I have major issues with his pauses between sentences. Pauses up to three seconds or more. You have to listen closely: if the next word is a conjucture you know it is still the same paragraph.
Follow my reviews at https://hemmelm.blogspot.com/
July 5, 2024
A long time ago I watched and was moved by a gay Mormon flick called Latter Days (not porn) whereby a young Mormon missionary comes to terms with his same-sex attraction as well as dealing with the familial and community fallout post 'discovery'. This book goes through largely the same plot arcs but with a Bangladeshi Muslim protagonist. A thoroughly engaging plot with heaps of realistic conflictual interaction/conversations and great characters. The HEA ending was probably a little too nicely wrapped up but not unrealistic. I'd definitely read more from this new to me author.
August 5, 2024
First things first: I totally understand this book's significance for diversity - it's important to have different reads and to reach out to different approaches to the topic. I wanted to like this book so much! But here we are...
Okay, there definitely were things that I liked in this book:
* Therapy! Everybody sees: Amar needed it. His way of dealing with things was not healthy at all (because, yeah, go suppressed feelings!) and therapist really did help him grow. Also, at first, there were a lot of superstitions about going to therapy in general, but it got better with time, so yay.
* Religious aspect. More specifically, how to be a good Muslim and live your truth as a gay man. Religion is one of the main focus in the story and I felt really educated, since I could never really relate to a Bangladeshi Muslim gay man.
* Amar's new friends from the forum. He really needed them.
But still, I could scrap only 2 stars in the end.
Because oh boy, have I ever met more unlovable main character in my life... Amar was really SOMETHING. I could do without all his whining, thank you very much. There really was shitty situations he had to deal with (being disowned by your family is absolutely horrible - no argument from me here! or the disastrous engagement party). But all his projecting?? It was like everyone but him was the problem. His fiance was not perfect by any means, and some microagressions came from him too, but dude seriously TRIED.
Amar? Not so much. He just blamed everyone for everything and I just could not stand his hipocrisy. He wants everybody to respect his culture and to take his upbringing into consideration (totally understandable), but wow, the things that come out of his mouth... Also. If you want someone (especially the man you are planning to spend your life with) to understand what you are going through, to understant how things work in your culture, you have to TELL them. All I see in these pages is Amar getting really mad with everyone, crying (every two pages) and... that's it. And to have the audacity to feel offended when Joshua tells him that he's a bit dramatic? Bye.
The writing also put me off, even in the beginning. First person present tense just felt cold and documentary. And there was. So. Much. Telling. Gah! Why not show things? It became too repetitive very early on, because being in Amar's head? Not an experience I'd like to repeat, ever. For example, even after finishing the whole book I still don't know if Joshua (the fiance, but it felt like he wasn't even a secondary character) has any personality. He just was here (sometimes). How am I supposed to feel their bond if all I hear is Amar telling us how Joshua doesn't understand him? By showing, that's how. Did not happen though.
So yeah, I basically finished this book out of spite. Or it finished me - haven't decided it yet.
And still, the weirdest thing -- I think people should give it a try. Don't ask.
Okay, there definitely were things that I liked in this book:
* Therapy! Everybody sees: Amar needed it. His way of dealing with things was not healthy at all (because, yeah, go suppressed feelings!) and therapist really did help him grow. Also, at first, there were a lot of superstitions about going to therapy in general, but it got better with time, so yay.
* Religious aspect. More specifically, how to be a good Muslim and live your truth as a gay man. Religion is one of the main focus in the story and I felt really educated, since I could never really relate to a Bangladeshi Muslim gay man.
* Amar's new friends from the forum. He really needed them.
But still, I could scrap only 2 stars in the end.
Because oh boy, have I ever met more unlovable main character in my life... Amar was really SOMETHING. I could do without all his whining, thank you very much. There really was shitty situations he had to deal with (being disowned by your family is absolutely horrible - no argument from me here! or the disastrous engagement party). But all his projecting?? It was like everyone but him was the problem. His fiance was not perfect by any means, and some microagressions came from him too, but dude seriously TRIED.
Amar? Not so much. He just blamed everyone for everything and I just could not stand his hipocrisy. He wants everybody to respect his culture and to take his upbringing into consideration (totally understandable), but wow, the things that come out of his mouth... Also. If you want someone (especially the man you are planning to spend your life with) to understand what you are going through, to understant how things work in your culture, you have to TELL them. All I see in these pages is Amar getting really mad with everyone, crying (every two pages) and... that's it. And to have the audacity to feel offended when Joshua tells him that he's a bit dramatic? Bye.
The writing also put me off, even in the beginning. First person present tense just felt cold and documentary. And there was. So. Much. Telling. Gah! Why not show things? It became too repetitive very early on, because being in Amar's head? Not an experience I'd like to repeat, ever. For example, even after finishing the whole book I still don't know if Joshua (the fiance, but it felt like he wasn't even a secondary character) has any personality. He just was here (sometimes). How am I supposed to feel their bond if all I hear is Amar telling us how Joshua doesn't understand him? By showing, that's how. Did not happen though.
So yeah, I basically finished this book out of spite. Or it finished me - haven't decided it yet.
And still, the weirdest thing -- I think people should give it a try. Don't ask.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 1, 2022
This book was amazing and really enlightening.
This my first book that i received from Amazon first reads, and how this turned out, i will read every future first reads recommendations.
The story is following Amar who grow up in a strict Muslim house in London, and the idea of being gay within his family is unfathomable, therefore, he lived all his life piling up his emotions and his true self.
After losing his mother, he was very depressed and emotionally unstable, and his only friend pulled him through and he start working at a bookshop, where he meet Joshua, the love of his life, and after two years dating and saying yes to his proposal, he came out to his family through a text massage and from there, everything went down hill, from rejection, losing sexuality identity, conflicting with his religion and the deep feeling of grieve.
The book is very well written, while discussing cultural differences, the importance of the therapy and therapy group, religion, identity, sexuality and self acceptance. And the characters development was on spot.
I love the fact that he was working in a bookshop and all the contemporary references and the mentions of #BookTok 😍😍
It was informative and reflective, and shed a light on a new cultural complex barriers and deep soul searching.
Highly recommended
This my first book that i received from Amazon first reads, and how this turned out, i will read every future first reads recommendations.
The story is following Amar who grow up in a strict Muslim house in London, and the idea of being gay within his family is unfathomable, therefore, he lived all his life piling up his emotions and his true self.
After losing his mother, he was very depressed and emotionally unstable, and his only friend pulled him through and he start working at a bookshop, where he meet Joshua, the love of his life, and after two years dating and saying yes to his proposal, he came out to his family through a text massage and from there, everything went down hill, from rejection, losing sexuality identity, conflicting with his religion and the deep feeling of grieve.
The book is very well written, while discussing cultural differences, the importance of the therapy and therapy group, religion, identity, sexuality and self acceptance. And the characters development was on spot.
I love the fact that he was working in a bookshop and all the contemporary references and the mentions of #BookTok 😍😍
It was informative and reflective, and shed a light on a new cultural complex barriers and deep soul searching.
Highly recommended
August 21, 2022
This Way Out is one of my favorite reads this year.
Amar's getting married and it's time to tell his family. The only problem? Amar's family doesn't know he's gay.
This LGBTQ+ story is centered on a Muslim protagonist that finds his place in the world. I've never read a story quite like it before. Grief, loss, family ties broken and possibly mended, plus learning to communicate with your partner like you never have before. What's not to love?
Tufayel Ahmed's writing is extremely down-to-earth. While Amar's experiences are unlike anything I'll ever endure, the way Amar's hardship is described is perfect. Our protagonist is teetering on losing his religion. The clear descriptions and Amar's point of view make this section of the story extremely endearing.
I must say, Amar's quick wit and self-reflection were a few of my favorite parts of this lovely story.
Special thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!
If you like this review check out more on my page, find me on my others socials too.
📷: @mollys.little.library
📱: @mollys.little.library
🎥: @Mollys Little Library
Amar's getting married and it's time to tell his family. The only problem? Amar's family doesn't know he's gay.
This LGBTQ+ story is centered on a Muslim protagonist that finds his place in the world. I've never read a story quite like it before. Grief, loss, family ties broken and possibly mended, plus learning to communicate with your partner like you never have before. What's not to love?
Tufayel Ahmed's writing is extremely down-to-earth. While Amar's experiences are unlike anything I'll ever endure, the way Amar's hardship is described is perfect. Our protagonist is teetering on losing his religion. The clear descriptions and Amar's point of view make this section of the story extremely endearing.
I must say, Amar's quick wit and self-reflection were a few of my favorite parts of this lovely story.
Special thanks to NetGalley for this ARC!
If you like this review check out more on my page, find me on my others socials too.
📷: @mollys.little.library
📱: @mollys.little.library
🎥: @Mollys Little Library
December 24, 2022
Just didn't particularly grab me. Amar feels like a 20-something from 10-15 years ago, not now. I know not everyone is extremely online but I just can't see a London 28 year old who has worked in advertising thinking "Of course! The internet!" as a last resort for finding information. People keep telling Amar that he's a good person but... on what basis? He never seems particularly nice. And his fiance's assessment of him as loud and chaotic... chaotic in that he's deeply depressed, self-medicates with alcohol and never goes to work but there's no sign of a big, attractive personality otherwise.
Anyway, we are fortunate that in this day and age there are actually networks of South Asian therapists and MIND does quite a lot of work to reach communities with stigmas against mental healthcare so the real Amars can get help informed by cultural understanding and not risk dealing with middle aged white women.
Anyway, we are fortunate that in this day and age there are actually networks of South Asian therapists and MIND does quite a lot of work to reach communities with stigmas against mental healthcare so the real Amars can get help informed by cultural understanding and not risk dealing with middle aged white women.
July 6, 2022
When I first started this book I was really excited. Yay 2 adult gays that aren’t totally stereotyped with a good supportive normative relationship!
Then 50% thru the book Amar becomes a winey, poor me little turd. I don’t understand when things get difficult people make drastic decisions to make their life more difficult. He gets upset at people for issues he’s never brought up to anyone which was illuminatingly irritating.
Anyone the best part of the book was showing the benefits of therapy and accepting ones self. Still a feel good read with good gay ending.
Then 50% thru the book Amar becomes a winey, poor me little turd. I don’t understand when things get difficult people make drastic decisions to make their life more difficult. He gets upset at people for issues he’s never brought up to anyone which was illuminatingly irritating.
Anyone the best part of the book was showing the benefits of therapy and accepting ones self. Still a feel good read with good gay ending.
June 25, 2022
I bought this book as part of Amazon's "First Reads" program, and the copy there made it sound like a romcom. Unfortunately, it's not funny. It's also probably about 100 pages too long (a lot of the prose is very repetitive) and I found the main character really annoying with the way he was always projecting on everyone and having these over dramatic spirals. No idea how 2 different guys were into him.
October 19, 2022
This Way Out is an emotional yet also at time humorous contemporary novel about Amar, a gay British-Bangladeshi muslim man who comes out to his family after getting engaged.
I found Amar to be a realistic MC. Like yes, he's a bit of a mess and doesn't always make the right choices/ react the right way but, in his defence, he is also going through a lot for most of the story.
There were also another couple of aspects of this book I really liked. Firstly, Amar starts therapy in this book and, though he's quite dismissive of the idea at first, we see how it helps him to better understood his own actions and feelings, and encourages him to reach out to others who have had similar experiences.
This links to the second plotline I really liked, which was seeing Amar reach out and connect with other queer Muslims, and learning and contemplating how to reconnect with his religion and culture alongside being queer. (Though I, obviously, can't speak to the accuracy of this rep in these scenes.)
The main downside of this book for me was that the side characters were a bit bland, especially Amar's white fiance, Joshua, meaning I wasn't that invested in their relationship.
Overall though, this was still a good read, ideal for anyone looking for an emotive coming out story that also explores identity and culture.
I received an ARC copy from Netgalley in return for an honest review.
I found Amar to be a realistic MC. Like yes, he's a bit of a mess and doesn't always make the right choices/ react the right way but, in his defence, he is also going through a lot for most of the story.
There were also another couple of aspects of this book I really liked. Firstly, Amar starts therapy in this book and, though he's quite dismissive of the idea at first, we see how it helps him to better understood his own actions and feelings, and encourages him to reach out to others who have had similar experiences.
This links to the second plotline I really liked, which was seeing Amar reach out and connect with other queer Muslims, and learning and contemplating how to reconnect with his religion and culture alongside being queer. (Though I, obviously, can't speak to the accuracy of this rep in these scenes.)
The main downside of this book for me was that the side characters were a bit bland, especially Amar's white fiance, Joshua, meaning I wasn't that invested in their relationship.
Overall though, this was still a good read, ideal for anyone looking for an emotive coming out story that also explores identity and culture.
I received an ARC copy from Netgalley in return for an honest review.
January 21, 2024
(3.7 ⭐️Audiobook) Wow, just wow. This has really opened my eyes so much already more than I thought already. I understood how difficult it was for queer Muslims to battle their sexuality and religion and this book so far is perfect to make us understand how it’s a constant everyday fear. For me I see my sexuality as only a small part of me and don’t think about it, but for people who relate to this book it’s an every day thought filled with guilt towards themselves which I think it portrayed perfectly.
I think this was an emotional and incredible read to understand further about how as a white person we may say things we think are helpful but actually really are not 😭 I do know that Joshua’s mother was saying about his family was unneeded and I know I wouldn’t be saying that but I think it’s just a great way to show how we do really need to think about what we are saying even if we perceive it as useful.
What I didn’t like about this book is I’d have to say I think the whole bookshop situation was a bit unnecessary and in my eyes didn’t add much to the story other than the fact that’s where Amar and Joshua bonded. Also I do think the mention of booktok was kinda just a cheap way to try and get this book more reviews and get on booktok
I think this was an emotional and incredible read to understand further about how as a white person we may say things we think are helpful but actually really are not 😭 I do know that Joshua’s mother was saying about his family was unneeded and I know I wouldn’t be saying that but I think it’s just a great way to show how we do really need to think about what we are saying even if we perceive it as useful.
What I didn’t like about this book is I’d have to say I think the whole bookshop situation was a bit unnecessary and in my eyes didn’t add much to the story other than the fact that’s where Amar and Joshua bonded. Also I do think the mention of booktok was kinda just a cheap way to try and get this book more reviews and get on booktok
January 11, 2024
4.5* So close to perfection. I loved the real, raw messiness of the main character and his complex emotions. His understanding of how important his own cultural heritage was to him and how to navigate it in his relationship with his white partner. It was clever and witty and I really enjoyed it!
For me the middle section went on too long, and I had a feeling for the longest time that I would be giving it 1* based on where the story appeared to be going! But it all worked out perfectly in the end.
For me the middle section went on too long, and I had a feeling for the longest time that I would be giving it 1* based on where the story appeared to be going! But it all worked out perfectly in the end.
July 25, 2023
Loved this!! A beautiful, frank and raw exploration of the complicated relationship between religion and sexuality. I believe this would be an empowering for queer Muslims to read as they learn through Amar's journey of self discovery that there is belonging, love and happiness to be found in a world that may so often seem pitted against them.
April 13, 2025
Felt a tiiiiiny bit cliché and/or predictable in parts but the characters were likeable and it was an easy read!
August 27, 2024
It’s no literary masterpiece but it delivered what I was looking for: a quick, feel good, coming out story about a brown man and his family. As a baby gay, this book helped me think about some potential issues that might arise when I come out to my Asian parents and/or considerations to make if/when navigating a relationship with a white person…
The story had a little more tell than show and the dialogue was cheesy but hey - it was a free book by a debut author who wrote the book in a month.
My fiction writing professor Dr. Pulley says… judge a book by the standards of what it’s intended to be… and I won’t be the first to say that this book effectively achieves that!
The story had a little more tell than show and the dialogue was cheesy but hey - it was a free book by a debut author who wrote the book in a month.
My fiction writing professor Dr. Pulley says… judge a book by the standards of what it’s intended to be… and I won’t be the first to say that this book effectively achieves that!
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