Shouting At Leaves

by Jennifer Msumba

"I have lived through some horrible experiences, all in the name of treatment. But there was one thing I never let those people steal from me, and that was my spirit."Shouting At Leaves takes the reader on the journey of its autistic writer from toddlerhood to adulthood. With humor and grace, this book walks you through the mind and experiences of Jennifer as she navigates the world of family, friendships and school life. It places you with her as she is confined in the mental health system, including the infamous Judge Rotenberg Center, and you will cheer her on as she not only survives but takes on a new life of freedom and joy in the end. She shares stories, tips, and strategies to equip you to be your own champion, and to build around you people who are loyal and true.

Genres: Mental Health, Disability, Biography Memoir, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Memoir

164 pages, Kindle Edition

Published November 25, 2021

About the author

Jennifer Msumba is an autistic author, musician, songwriter, and filmmaker. She enjoys the art of telling a story in a way that most people can relate to, bringing them into her world and helping them examine their own.

Her films and music are positive, fun and upbeat while weaving a baseline of grit and strength born through adversity. It is worth noting that she is a member of American Mensa and is a Sundance Institute Fellow.

Fun Facts:
Her favorite color is orange
She has a dog named Lemonade (She got that name from the mini horse on the show Life In Pieces)
She loves fishing and eating ice cream...but not a the same time :)

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hi this is Jennifer, the author of this book. Of course my review is biased, but I just wanted to get things started off. I wanted to thank everyone who gives my book a chance, even if you end up not liking it. This is my first book and I'm sure I have much to learn.

I am also happy to answer any questions in the discussion section!

[Michael Bakan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jennifer Msumba has written a memoir of extraordinary beauty and power. This is one of the most important books you will ever encounter, no matter your walk of life or who you are. Shouting at Leaves will be read as a memoir of autistic lived experience, and on that level it ranks among the classics of the genre, right up there with those of Dawn Prince-Hughes, Anand Prahlad, Temple Grandin, Eric Garcia, and Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadhyay. That in itself would cement its significance to our understanding of life and the human condition, but Shouting offers so much more as well. From the invaluable love of family to the unspeakable horrors of “legalized abuse” practices like applied behavioral analysis and electroconvulsive therapy, the normalcy of genius to the genius of normalcy, and the soul-crushing dehumanization of institutionalization to the liberating power of music and an at least provisionally free life, Ms. Msumba compels us to understand and care about what really matters when it comes to being human, and being humane. What she shares is in turns terrifying and hilarious, tragic and inspiring, heartbreaking and uplifting, and shot through and through with the indomitable spirit of a young woman whose ultimate faith in herself—and also in a world perhaps not deserving of it—makes hers a voice and a presence with the capacity to change everything, if only the rest of us will listen.

Michael Bakan, Ph.D.
Professor of Ethnomusocology
Florida State University
Author of MUSIC & AUTISM: SPEAKING FOR OURSELVES (Oxford University Press, 2021)

[Richard Propes · Rating 5 out of 5]

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word "autism?"

The odds are fairly strong that such things do not include accomplished songwriter, musician, award-winning filmmaker, Sundance Institute fellow, and member of American Mensa.

"Shouting at Leaves" author Jennifer Msumba is out to change all that.

"Shouting at Leaves" is, let me first state, a masterpiece of sorts. Self-published by Msumba via BookBaby, "Shouting at Leaves" is an extraordinary work of self-revelation and absolute exhilaration. I first became familiar with Msumba when she captured the top prize in the Easterseals Disability Film Challenge for her remarkable short film "The Fish Don't Care When It Rains."

Msumba would follow that prize up the following year, this year, with yet another prize for yet another short film.

The truth is that Msumba is a remarkably gifted young woman, a stunning songwriter with a passion for worship music and a woman of uncommon intelligence who lives in Florida alongside her best canine friend Lemonade.

I would like to say that the story I read in "Shouting at Leaves" is surprising. It isn't. Heartbreaking? Absolutely. Maddening. Most definitely. Infuriating. Oh my god, yes. Sadly, it's not surprising and it's remarkable that Msumba gives her account with so much clarity as it undeniably speaks for so many other individuals who live with various forms of disability and who have experienced life often in much the same way.

"Shouting at Leaves" takes the reader on Msumba's journey from toddlerhood to adulthood. Msumba vividly recounts her differences before they had official names and before anyone knew how to help her with them. From frustrating school and teenage years, it would be when Msumba aged out of the school system that the real horrors began as her transition went anything but smooth and she would eventually be locked up - first in a state psychiatric facility and then, even more harrowingly, in a long-term institution alleged to be practicing ABA but which was instead nothing short of an unfathomably abusive facility that that ultimately couldn't take the one thing that would eventually save Msumba - her spirit.

"Shouting at Leaves" is filled with humor and grace even amidst sections of harrowing treatment and unfathomably difficult life experiences. Along the way, it would be impossible to not cheer Msumba on and for someone like myself who has actually encountered Msumba it's doubly impossible.

Very few books have grabbed me in 2021 like "Shouting at Leaves" grabbed me. I received it just this very day and began reading it over lunch. After setting it aside for a bit, I decided to retire to bed early this evening and read a bit more of it. A couple hours later, I'd experienced just about every emotion imaginable and finished the book practically in an emotional sweat.

"Shouting at Leaves" is, quite simply, a remarkable effort and easily one of my favorite books of 2021.

Msumba, with grace and wisdom, offers stories, tips, and strategies along the way to equip individuals in similar situations to be strong self-advocates, or to be their own champion, and is profoundly encouraging regarding the importance of building a true and loyal community.

Msumba is not done trying to build her best life. Having survived a harrowing several years until she was finally correctly diagnosed with autism, Msumba is now leaning into thriving and "Shouting at Leaves" is proof positive that Msumba continues on her way toward living the life of her dreams and using her gifts to make the world a better place.

Much like Msumba herself, "Shouting at Leaves" is an exquisite joy.

[Sacha Fortuné · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sacha's Book Reviews Blog

This was my twenty-sixth book I chose via the Reedsy Discovery program, for which I am the single approved reviewer for this new book. This review also appears on Reedsy.

If you're interested in becoming a Reedsy reviewer (and have the chance to get paid "tips" to review books!) check it out here.

The Premise
Charting her life from a young child to an adult, this memoir recounts Jennifer's experience of multiple forms of abuse by organisations, agencies and laws created to "protect" her. From her struggles connecting with others as a child and teenager, to her prolonged experience in confinement in the mental health system, she emerges triumphant despite her harrowing experience. In sharing her story, she also provided tips and strategies to equip other autistic people and their families, so as to avoid them making the wrong decisions that could lead to her same fate.

The Pros & Cons
This was a heartbreaking memoir about the physical, social, and emotional abuse experienced by an autistic savant. From her earliest memories, Jennifer has always known she was different. A high-functioning autistic, she was not diagnosed until much later in life.

This memoir follows her journey as she struggles to make friends and connect with others as a child and teenager. Her thoughts and behaviours overpower her, and she genuinely believes that her repetitive, obsessive actions will be a matter of life or death for her mother.

As she gets older, her difficulties result in her being institutionalised — first for temporary periods at her parents’ volition, and then eventually for an indefinite period she found herself trapped, as she had surrendered some of her rights and her parents had done the same as they believed it was in her best interest for treatment.

The institutions did not match her profile — her behaviour was not the same as others who self-harmed, or ran away from home. This led to a feeing of dissonance, as she didn’t understand how her treatments didn’t match her illness; as she terms it:

I felt like I was trapped in some weird cult but hadn’t been brainwashed yet[…] I hid my joy deep inside so it wouldn’t be stolen by that place and those people.

Group homes overmedicated her, and she gained weight and experienced deep depression on medications that focused on external control rather than internal control. She was also forced to do menial labour, and was severely punished for the slightest infractions by methods including shock therapy. She felt stymied in terms of growth and development:

I WANTED to do well, to get well. But nobody helped me[…] I wanted so passionately to experience real adult life. I was in my thirties. I wanted and needed to experience meaningful work and friendships.

Eventually, she was gradually able to achieve incremental success at regaining her rights and her independence, and as she emerged from the horror she experienced, she was struck by the real world:

Freedom was the candy[…] I had so much unlearning to do. I had been programmed, and I was just now realizing this.

Overall this was an excellent and moving read. My only minor note would’ve been to keep the recount of her experience i.e. the “story” separate from the “lessons” i.e. the tips — for me, this would have better kept the narrative intact to engross the reader, and would have allowed for a full reference section at the end. This would also have circumnavigated the repetition; as it was divided by chapter, some points came up several times, especially the warnings to families to investigate the institutions properly — though certainly that point is one that deserves repetition, as it is so critical!

Conclusion
This memoir was incredibly difficult to keep on reading at times. I felt a wave of pain just trying to grasp how the author must have felt — trapped in her body and mind as her liberties are ripped from her and she is forced into a life that punishes her for being different. The experience was soul-crushing and dehumanizing, made even worse by the fact that institutions were able to enact these forms of torture under the banner of “legal” practices — in essence, it was legalized abuse. I am grateful to the author for sharing her experience, and appreciate that she took the time and care to also provide tips and guides for other individuals with autism and their families that may have to cope with some of these issues.

___________
This review also appears on my blog. Visit to read more of my reviews: Sacha's Book Reviews Blog

Also be sure to check out Sacha's Must Read Recommendations

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[Leah Collier · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful story of overcoming obstacles. Jennifer Msumba provides an insight into the blessings and struggles of being Autistic. This book is insightful, educational, inspirational and so beautifully written. I couldn’t put it down. I highly recommend it for anyone who loves someone with Autism. Believe me, you won’t be disappointed.

[Michelle Coford · Rating 5 out of 5]

My partner is a BCBA and asked me to read this book. He said it changed the way he practiced.

This was so many things. As someone who is not autistic it was eye opening to view the world through a different lens. It certainly has changed the way I think about autism and behavior in children.

I was quite literally speechless as some of the author’s experiences throughout their life. At times I forgot I was not reading a thriller but someone’s actual life story. It was shocking and I can’t believe these places actually exist. My heart is broken for the author and anyone who has had similar experiences.

The being said the resilience of Jennifer is incredible and inspiring. I can only hope to be as brave.

[Mimi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jennifer Msumba opens up about her life, the good, the bad, and the downright horrific. This book is an inspiring work that details the life of a late-diagnosed person with autism. Through her writing, we get to take a step into Jennifer's world and experience life as she did. Her courage is inspiring and her message is one of importance for anyone who has a loved one who requires long-term or assisted living. It really brings to light the challenges that our most vulnerable population face. I hope this book can inspire change and it gives me hope for a better future for those living in such horrifying conditions.

[Autumn Riehemann · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is one of my favorite memoirs i have ever read in my entire life. jennifer went through genuinely terrifying events that should never be allowed to happen to anyone, ever. throughout the book, jennifer interrupted her retelling to explain things and elaborate of how she felt about a situation. i can truly tell how jennifer put in so much effort to allow for the reader to understand too. i found the book educational, genuine, and truly entirely authentic. it brought me tears and warmed my heart in the same chapter. these 140 words have moved me entirely.

[karen hall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Shouting at leaves was one of the best books I have read in a long time. The story of Jennifer touched my heart and soul. Once you start reading it you can't put it down. I could relate to the story in so many ways. I think all of us has a little Jennifer in us. I thank God Jennifer made it through all of this. Her story is a blessing to us all.

[Eric Zeissig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Jennifer Msumba for this beautifully written dive into the autistic experience! Shouting At Leaves took me on an emotional roller coaster and you were my safe guide and teacher. No one should ever have to live the horrors faced in this book. I especially love your uplifting spirit, creativity and words of wisdom to help others!

[Amy Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a mom of a son with autism, I gained insight into why he does/ doesn’t do certain things. The experiences Jennifer describes are so horribly disturbing, I can’t believe they are allowed to happen. I hope this book brings light and attention so these places and actions can be permanently shut down.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a parent with a child with autism, it is such an amazing experience to speak with someone and read about someone who knows what your child is going through. Jennifer has a wonderful way of explaining her life through her own words, I highly recommend this book to anyone! What a great read!

[JennEllen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book it is clear that Jennifer Msumba is a resilient and beautiful soul. Everyone needs to read this book -- and everyone needs to learn what actions they can take at https://autisticadvocacy.org/stopthes...

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book because I listened to a podcast interview with the author and wanted to support her. I had no intentions of actuality reading it. But then last night I picked it up because I thought it would help me fall asleep. Boy was I wrong.... I found this heart wrenching and fascinating and I am devastated that people in my field would treat a fellow human so inhumanely. Ms. Msumba, your voice is powerful and you are doing important work. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Jesse · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so heartbreaking yet so uplifting. Jennifer experienced unspeakable treatment and yet writes about it in such a way that fills you with hope. Her prose makes you feel like she’s right there next to you sharing her story. She educates the reader with ways we can better treat people with autism.

[Jessica Starratt · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so inspirational and gives such great in sight on autism and sensory disorders. This was beautifully written but was hard to imagine what Jen went through all of those years. I hope Jen Msumba continues speaking out and advocating for those who can’t. I look forward to following her social media and future endeavors. God bless!

[Nana 5 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jen is one of the most articulate writers I've encountered. She guides us to walk in her shoes, understand, and help! Buy at least three copies of this book about finding your purpose and living your gifts, even around the challenges of autism.

[Rach Stanley]

Jen Msumba is a true inspiration and her story is really eye opening. I can't understand what kind of people that are so say care givers can possible think its ok to treat other humans in such a degrading and inhumane way . I'm so glad that this story had a happy ending would give this 5 stars 🌟 🤩

[Amanda Abbott · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn’t put this book down. It captured me from the beginning. Although Jennifer’s story takes the reader through some very difficult moments and situations, the ending is totally worth it!

[Nancy Weiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

Don’t miss this can’t-take-your-eyes-away compelling memoir! Msumba tells her own story with grace, insight and amazingly, humor. In doing so, she tells the story of all people who are viewed as different and who therefore are treated with unthinkable cruelty. This is a heartfelt, heart-wrenching, important story — with lessons gently offered for others who are the victim of bullying and who are the brunt of our so-called system of care. Msumba is not only a survivor of our mental health system; she is a hero who triumphs and soars, bringing the reader right along with her