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Know Thy Gamer: A Parent’s Guide to Video Games
Between social media platforms, the videos kids watch online, or the television shows they can now stream from anywhere at any time, keeping up with what our kids are doing has become more difficult than ever. Still, there has not been an influence quite like the video gaming world. For a time, video games were as simple as a blue hedgehog running from one side of the screen to the other. Now, video games create grand adventures of secret societies, alien races that have come to destroy entire galaxies, or dark forces that have arrived to destroy ancient kingdoms.
Video games can display wondrous environments but can also house blood and gore. They can create adventures that get kids through rainy days but can also trap them in their rooms for untold amounts of time. This leaves many parents with one of two choices. They can either ignore the problems, or they can simply not allow their children to play games at all.
Drew Dixon, co-founder of Love Thy Nerd, a ministry that exists to be the love of Jesus to nerds and nerd culture , offers a better way. Let’s face the digital age has changed the way we parent. So, instead of ignoring what your children are playing or removing the games altogether, Know Thy Gamer offers an opportunity for parents to understand their children and the kinds of games they are playing. By discussing some of the most important movements in the gaming world, Drew guides parents to understanding and loving their gamers through a Christian lens.
Video games can display wondrous environments but can also house blood and gore. They can create adventures that get kids through rainy days but can also trap them in their rooms for untold amounts of time. This leaves many parents with one of two choices. They can either ignore the problems, or they can simply not allow their children to play games at all.
Drew Dixon, co-founder of Love Thy Nerd, a ministry that exists to be the love of Jesus to nerds and nerd culture , offers a better way. Let’s face the digital age has changed the way we parent. So, instead of ignoring what your children are playing or removing the games altogether, Know Thy Gamer offers an opportunity for parents to understand their children and the kinds of games they are playing. By discussing some of the most important movements in the gaming world, Drew guides parents to understanding and loving their gamers through a Christian lens.
- GenresParentingVideo Games
160 pages, Paperback
Published September 6, 2022
6 people are currently reading
20 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
February 13, 2023
Good book for someone who is naive to video games. I love video games and spend time playing them with my kids. My wife and I also try to create a healthy relationship with video games. This allows us to set boundaries. This book also helps with making video games missional.
August 17, 2023
Drew Dixon offers up a book that is needed. And, to my knowledge, few have ventured into the space of helping parents navigate the difficult world of raising kids in screen-time-obsessed world.
First, the strengths of Know Thy Gamer.
This book is exceptionally researched. He has plenty of citations from reputable sources. He endeavors to deal with reality and refuses the urge to create a straw man as a foil to his premises.
Second, Dixon engages the subject of gaming theologically. While many might think that video games are inherently evil and that Scripture is devoid of any teaching that might apply to the subject, Dixon straps on his systematic theological hat and schools us. Games are good. Joy and frivolity and play have an appropriate place in the Christian experience. Furthermore, even though there are good elements of games, they exist, like all of creation, in the context of a fallen world. Therefore, games are broken and must be approached with the Gospel in hand. I particularly appreciated this theological aspect of the book.
Third, Dixon is a good bridge-builder, helping parents see redeemable qualities in video games. He refuses to buy into the "all video games are evil" ideology. Instead, he draws out several redeemable qualities of video games, some that I would have never thought of without his help.
I also have some significant points of disagreement with Drew Dixon.
He states multiple times that "the ultimate goal of parenting [is] to love your children" (80). I am not sure how any Christian could come to this conclusion. The ultimate goal of parenting is to glorify God, which certainly includes loving my children. Before you object to my critique, let me say that I don't think I am making a distinction without a difference. Dixon's divergent fundamental purpose in parenting is the springboard from which he, in my opinion, makes other mistakes.
"No matter how frustrating your children's behavior is, they are not responsible for your feelings and actions. You are. What your children need to know above all is that you care about them" (81). Again, Dixon is dangerously near the truth. What my children most need to know is that God deserves their obedience and love, that He gave His only Son for their redemption, and that, apart from His grace, they are lost in their sin. Yes, they also (and secondarily) need to know that their parents care about them and love them. But if you repeatedly (and he does repeat it a lot) tell people that their goal is anything short of God's glory, they are liable to believe you.
A final objection to Dixon's parenting advice lies in the realm of the acceptance we give to our children. He repeatedly (often repeated) says things like, "God calls me to love the children He has given me, not the children I want them to be" (84). "[R]emember, your children don't need fixing. They need your love, protection, guidance, and support" (86). Other similar statements dot the pages of Know Thy Gamer. In principal, I think his advice is wise. In execution, I think his wording is tragic. It reads like so many other acceptance-oriented parenting books for parents who are dealing with gender-confused children or children embracing LGBTQ+ ideology. Read the above quotes again with that in mind. Confusing and unclear, isn't it? I wish he had chosen his phraseology more clearly.
It sounds like I am lambasting Dixon's book. I am not. I think many of his simple techniques and suggestions could be (pardon the pun) game-changers for parents struggling with kids that seem video game addicted. He clearly wants parents to disciple their children. I just think he is unclear at points in ways that are quite unhelpful. If you can eat the fish and spit out the bones on this one, it is worth reading.
First, the strengths of Know Thy Gamer.
This book is exceptionally researched. He has plenty of citations from reputable sources. He endeavors to deal with reality and refuses the urge to create a straw man as a foil to his premises.
Second, Dixon engages the subject of gaming theologically. While many might think that video games are inherently evil and that Scripture is devoid of any teaching that might apply to the subject, Dixon straps on his systematic theological hat and schools us. Games are good. Joy and frivolity and play have an appropriate place in the Christian experience. Furthermore, even though there are good elements of games, they exist, like all of creation, in the context of a fallen world. Therefore, games are broken and must be approached with the Gospel in hand. I particularly appreciated this theological aspect of the book.
Third, Dixon is a good bridge-builder, helping parents see redeemable qualities in video games. He refuses to buy into the "all video games are evil" ideology. Instead, he draws out several redeemable qualities of video games, some that I would have never thought of without his help.
I also have some significant points of disagreement with Drew Dixon.
He states multiple times that "the ultimate goal of parenting [is] to love your children" (80). I am not sure how any Christian could come to this conclusion. The ultimate goal of parenting is to glorify God, which certainly includes loving my children. Before you object to my critique, let me say that I don't think I am making a distinction without a difference. Dixon's divergent fundamental purpose in parenting is the springboard from which he, in my opinion, makes other mistakes.
"No matter how frustrating your children's behavior is, they are not responsible for your feelings and actions. You are. What your children need to know above all is that you care about them" (81). Again, Dixon is dangerously near the truth. What my children most need to know is that God deserves their obedience and love, that He gave His only Son for their redemption, and that, apart from His grace, they are lost in their sin. Yes, they also (and secondarily) need to know that their parents care about them and love them. But if you repeatedly (and he does repeat it a lot) tell people that their goal is anything short of God's glory, they are liable to believe you.
A final objection to Dixon's parenting advice lies in the realm of the acceptance we give to our children. He repeatedly (often repeated) says things like, "God calls me to love the children He has given me, not the children I want them to be" (84). "[R]emember, your children don't need fixing. They need your love, protection, guidance, and support" (86). Other similar statements dot the pages of Know Thy Gamer. In principal, I think his advice is wise. In execution, I think his wording is tragic. It reads like so many other acceptance-oriented parenting books for parents who are dealing with gender-confused children or children embracing LGBTQ+ ideology. Read the above quotes again with that in mind. Confusing and unclear, isn't it? I wish he had chosen his phraseology more clearly.
It sounds like I am lambasting Dixon's book. I am not. I think many of his simple techniques and suggestions could be (pardon the pun) game-changers for parents struggling with kids that seem video game addicted. He clearly wants parents to disciple their children. I just think he is unclear at points in ways that are quite unhelpful. If you can eat the fish and spit out the bones on this one, it is worth reading.
September 21, 2022
Know Thy Gamer is a fairly short, accessible, and helpful resource for parents of children who play video games, especially parents who are unfamiliar with this world. It is exciting to see a Christian engaging with video games in a thoughtful and positive way. This is a well-researched resource that many parents need to read, but I am afraid that the ones who might benefit most will never consider it. The book explores the potential benefits and dangers of gaming, and it provides some tips on how to establish healthy habits and views of games in the home. The endnotes provide numerous helpful resources, but I think a few sections of the book could be more impactful by including some of the content from those resources within the text itself. I suspect parents least familiar with gaming (or most opposed to it) will need additional guidance in some areas to apply the lessons throughout this book. While there is some opportunity for greater depth, detail, or examination of gaming (which would be at the expense of its brevity), this book is a wonderful resource for Christian parents who want to help their children navigate the world of gaming. I would strongly recommend this book, and I am grateful for Dixon's work.
June 10, 2025
This book, from a none gamer perspective, gave me a desire to find out more about my friends and families games they play. The book opened my eyes to the beauty of games! Rather than focusing only on the negatives this book shared the positives to gaming, which I didn’t really know there was any ha ha. This book is to the point and easily digestible. I was so blessed by this book!!
December 17, 2022
Great resource for parents who are trying to navigate the gaming world and help their kids use it responsibly. I really appreciated the focus on loving our kids well, seeking to understand rather than “fix.” Chapters 4-5 including the author’s own story were especially helpful and meaningful for me
September 19, 2022
Must read for parents of gamers!
February 1, 2024
An easy read on how to connect our kids with how to look at gaming Biblically and to use it missionally. It felt a bit repetitive though.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews