A Short Good Life: Her Father Tells Liza's Story of Facing Death

by Philip Lister

It's unusual to access a child's mind during the magic years of childhood. It's rarer when the child is facing her death. Liza, an ardent child with a deep love of cows and the color purple was diagnosed with leukemia at age four and died two years later in 1996. Liza was an unusually expressive child and her parents, both child psychiatrists, were uniquely oriented to appreciate the richness of a child's mind. Through writing this book, Liza's father strove to reveal the inner world of a child's mind--and a parent's mind--as few other books can.

At its center, this is the story of a child's psyche growing and striving to understand all she could of her experience, and of a small family coping with life's biggest challenges. It is a story of love's power to help a family cope and endure despite loss, and to grow, through darkness, back toward a full embrace of life. Through the process, the family emerges transformed, awed by the capacities of this child.

285 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 26, 2021

Reviews

[Chiwoo Choi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book was irresistible. I have lost my mother as a teenager and Liza’s capacity to articulate and communication her emotions in the face of death deepened my capacity to hold joy and sorrow.

I loved Phil’s comparison with love and grief. Just as the capacity for love is limitless, grief is also limitless. In a way, grieving is simply continuation of loving.

I recommend this book to anyone who would like to learn how loss can teach us so much about beauty and joy. Of course death is sad and scary, but it’s also something we will have to inevitably face at some point. Death also makes life beautiful and precious. Reading this book will help you to face death rather than avoiding it. It will also open your eyes to what makes our lives so much fuller and beautiful.

Cry as you read this book. Smile as you read about Liza’s liveliness. Hold your loved ones tighter and carry the ones who are physically gone in your heart.

[Adam Frankel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never written a review on goodreads, but this book seems too important not to acknowledge. I loved this book and it touched me deeply. Beautifully written, both nuanced and clear in language, Dr. Lister shares with the reader his daughter's journey with cancer and ultimate death. I found the book both heartbreaking and uplifting, together. He describes his daughter Liza's process through a narrative story in time as her illness progresses, while also sharing his own reflections throughout in a unique narrative style. I found Dr. Lister's reflections deeply wise, and affecting in a way few books are for me. I found myself thinking of Liza during the day after reading the book, and feeling compelled to keep reading it. As a clinical psychologist, I would recommend this book for a client or clinician (either medical or mental health), looking for support and solace in learning about and processing grief and loss, as well experiencing a first hand account of what it means to live with resilience (as Liza did) in the midst of life tragedy. A must read.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Short Good Life is what Liza did have, as described by the book written by her father Philip Lister. Hearing the words your child has,"Acute lymphocytic leukemia" Is something no parent anticipates. The questions of how did this happen? Why did this happen? flow through Liza'a Parents minds, as they try to control their sobs. The doctor explains this is no ones fault. The strength of Liza was evident, along with the support and honesty of her family, together and by her side, helped her endure many painful procedures. Reading this book allows the reader to feel they are right there with Liza and provides anticipation in how she and her family felt during this unbelievable, unexpected life event. Reading of Liza's bone marrow transplant made me want to go give some of my own bone marrow, unfortunately for me, the highest age for donations is around age 44. You will find this book, will enlighten your understanding and view of childhood cancer. Liza was a wonderful child and even tho the book lets you know early on that Liza will not live, reading the details of the end of her life brought me to tears. Liza was blessed to have loving parents and family supporting her short good life. She was able to live, love and learn while living with Cancer. You will learn to love Liza and get to know her in a real way. I recommend this book as it brings awareness of what so many in this world are experiencing.

[Richard Miners · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was blown away by this book. The author ably, candidly and beautifully shares his family's journey through one of life's most heart-breaking losses. Bearing witness to his young daughter's treatment and untimely death is like few things I've ever experienced while reading. I knew how the book would end, but it was more gripping than expected. It is utterly candid, suffused with touching or comical everyday events, and absolutely heart-rending. I related to the the author's perspectives, was reassured by his family's struggles and reactions, and moved by their insightful and caring handling of the most trying of situations. As I read, I alternated between a desire to know more and a desire to turn away; it was sometimes viscerally wrenching, sometimes disillusioning (in the best way possible). At the finality of Liza's passing, I sobbed jaggedly at the anguish, love and surrender that are so palpable. This book is on the level of a magnum opus, a must-read for those ready to embrace the fundament of the human condition and those whose work is to shepherd families through this final stage of life.

[Eric Haglund · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautifully written and moving account of a father and a families Journey with their daughters two year experience with Leukemia. The fathers observational narrative walks us through his personal and touching account of a reality that he and his family were thrown into. Liza who was diagnosed at four years of age had a way of looking at her battle with cancer that can teach us about life and death and all that lies in between. The author shares his daughters experience of trying to navigate all that she is going through, giving the reader a glimpse of Liza's unusual wisdom, curiosity, struggles and resilience.
This book helped me to feel that which I often try to avoid feeling. I am grateful and humbled for such a moving and personal glimpse into Liza's short good life.

[Emilie Schurenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who reads this book will find themselves blown away by the strength, grace, and wisdom that Liza showed throughout her battle with Leukemia. Beautifully and meticulously told by her father, Liza's story is as human and inspiring as it is heartbreaking. It is an eye-opening and heartfelt account of the realities of caring for a loved one, battling illness, and experiencing profound loss. The reader further benefits from Dr. Lister's expertise as a psychiatrist, as he occasionally steps away from the narrative to reflect on how either he, Liza, their family, or the medical professionals they worked with, approached or reacted to certain situations (and in some instances, how it might have been different). Highly recommend.

[Claire Basescu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an amalgam of many things: a portrait of Liza as a dazzling little person (her language so compelling, her strength so moving); the story of her illness and dying; the story of a family; so much interesting medical information; a critique of the medical profession, good and bad; a parenting manual on how to talk to kids, how to help kids manage their emotional lives; all kinds of ideas about family happiness, daily life, routines, outings, adventures. Told in many voices: present tense narrative, dialogue, poetry, letters, thought interludes. The author has dug deep. I cried, I was riveted. This is a beautiful piece of work.

[Diana Lightmoon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written, heartbreaking story of a young daughter's confrontation with a life threatening illness. Phil Lister, author and father, shares intimately and with humility, the courage of young Liza as she fights against death and how it affects everyone else in the family: Molly, her older sister, and he and his wife, both psychiatrists. Heart breaking and enlightening, this book brought me to tears over and over again and has left an imprint that remains long after reading it. It is thought-provoking and philosophical, as well as psychological and emotional. I highly recommend it.

[Diana Blue · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a “must read” for anyone involved with a child who has leukemia. Phil Lister writes with raw sensitivity, deep caring and accuracy about the process of both parent, child and family involved in the treatment of leukemia. It allowed me to learn the compassionate strength it takes to be a parent facing the possible death of a child. To witness the grace and love of Liza’s entire family as well as the disarming brillance of a child going through illness, was a gift. Yes, I needed to put the book down frequently and yes, it was worth every minute.

[Mr P · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautiful account of the most devastating experience any parent can have. Dr. Lister shares his family's most personal experience in an open and warm way. We get to know Liza the person, not just the patient. We experience in an intimate way how Liza and her family work their way through heartache and loss but there is more than just these feelings. Love and humor, anger and frustration, denial and acceptance are all expressed in this very wonderful book. Thanks to Dr. Lister and his family for allowing us into their lives.

[Margaret Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a beautifully written book that though painful, is a joy to read. Philip Lister eloquently describes the heartbreak of losing a child, while sensitively describing how love, compassion and living life to its fullest gave meaning to the hardest thing a family can experience. It is a a wonderful testament to parenting at its best, as well as a deep look into how the medical establishment can shepherd families through life events, for better and worse. A Short Good Life should be a primer for all who wish to enter the medical field as well as mental health practitioners.

[Prasad N · Rating 5 out of 5]

Profoundly Human

Through this book, the reader is lovingly invited to be part of the author's beautiful family as they lived through tribulation and heart-breaking loss. At the core, this is a story about deep and enduring love. A love that continues to stay alive beyond the boundaries of life and death. I found the narrative to be intelligent, graceful and insightful. I am taking away lessons in how to live. To be present and attuned in the most challenging of circumstances. To find the courage to live as fully as possible and also to let go as an act of love.

[Jesse Hellman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a most sensitive and heartfelt story of Liza, a young girl stricken by leukemia. Her father writes of his daughter and how she struggled and then accepted what was coming. The author and his wife are both psychiatrists -- adding to the emotionally powerful elements we learn of the way the hospital staff, from the young physicians and nurses to the most experienced, dealt with Liza's illness.

[Charlotte · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the great privilege of working with the author prior to his death. He was a wonderful, exceptionally empathetic and smart man, generous with his time and knowledge, patient, and kind. He mentored many. I wish I had known about this book during his life to be able to talk to him about it. Nevertheless, what a legacy his daughter left with her short, good life, and what a parent he was to her. I was blown away by this book.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes i avoid reading a story of loss. This book is not one to avoid. It is a sensitive, beautiful, sincere account of the short life of a remarkable child, and her family's brave and human path. It is an enriching and worthwhile read.