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The Curious History of Dating: From Jane Austen to Tinder

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A LIGHT-HEARTED, INTIMATE AND EMPHATICALLY FEMINIST HISTORY OF DATING

What if Mr Darcy had simply been able to swipe right?

Dating has never been easy. The road to true love has always been rutted with heartbreak, but do we have it any easier today?

How did Victorians 'come out'? How did love blossom in war-torn Europe? And why did 80s' video-dating never take off?

Bursting with little-known facts and tantalising tales of lovelorn men and besotted women, Nichi Hodgson's intriguing history of amorous relationships, from enamoured Georgians to frenziedly swiping millennials (and everyone in between) may leave you grateful that you live - and love - today.

248 pages, Paperback

First published January 2, 2018

28 people are currently reading
1654 people want to read

About the author

Nichi Hodgson

3 books23 followers

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5 stars
26 (12%)
4 stars
57 (27%)
3 stars
85 (40%)
2 stars
30 (14%)
1 star
11 (5%)
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
Profile Image for Carol, She's so Novel ꧁꧂ .
970 reviews840 followers
October 3, 2022
The best thing about this book is the cover!



It tied the past & present together very well!

This is a book of parts.

Sources & Spelling This book has an extensive bibliography at the back, but doesn't use footnotes &, particularly at the start, Ms Hodgson doesn't always credit her sources. Other reviews mention typos - maybe this edition has been better edited but I didn't notice many. Mrs Jordon was a bad one though - & it was repeated in the index. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothe...
Ms Hodgson writes;

By the time the [Great] war ended, there were more than one million surplus woman to every eligible man.
(pg77)

Ahem. This didn't sound right.

& it isn't. https://www.tchevalier.com/a-single-t...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surplus...

On the back cover
The road to true love has always been rutted with heartbreak...


"Rutted" has a few meanings! I think I would have used another word! 2.5★

The Early Chapters Up To & Including the one on WW1 As I said above this is where most of the sources are not credited and the writing is generally less lively. Still, there were some fascinating tidbits. 3★

The Twenties: Hasty Marriages & Petting Parties From here on Ms Hodgson seems far more comfortable in her writing! The earlier chapters for me did drag a bit, but I raced through this part of the read. 4★

So overall 3★ seems charitable fair. Readers of this review of mine https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1... will know that blatant inaccuracies in fiction books drive me crazy! That goes double for nonfiction, even if it is only meant as a light read.



https://wordpress.com/view/carolshess...
Profile Image for huzeyfe.
603 reviews86 followers
January 5, 2021
I have been living in the UK for more than 10 years and it's no secret that dating in the UK have their own etiquette, rituals or rules. So, when I see this book I could not help myself but wondering what is the history and reasons behind these social difference.

To be honest this book is full of history and details. As the author is a journalist she did put a lot of effort to provide as much as details. However, what I felt when I finished the book, we could use a little bit more analysis to make most out of the information given.

On the plus side, authors humorous style made it an enjoyable and easy read. That's why I like the book.
Profile Image for Kate.
37 reviews1 follower
April 6, 2017
Humorous but lots of editing errors.
Profile Image for Magda.
132 reviews4 followers
Read
September 22, 2018
This was an ok read.

Though the tiny bibliography section suggests otherwise, it felt reasonably well researched for a popular history book. However I was massively disappointed with the serious lack of analysis - it was a bit more like reading a basic overview of the situation in any given period/decade without too many references to the past (granted, there were some).

I also felt it was too all over the place and grew increasingly tired of the constantly repeated 'meanwhile' or 'in the meantime'. I think the book would have benefitted tremendously from a different structure. Rather than trying to do it chronologically (a concept I was quite a fan of at first), perhaps it should have focused on themes, such as marriage, sex, contraception and abortion, LGBT+, women's rights and so on. That would have allowed for more in depth exploration of the topics that ended up glaringly disjointed when approached separately in every chapter.

Overall it was worth the 99p I paid for it but I'm glad I didn't spend more.
Profile Image for Richard Butchins.
Author 2 books21 followers
January 29, 2017
A fascinating insight into dating/mating rituals in the West (primarily the UK). It's a history book and packed with interesting and revealing detail. The author has a breezy and accessible style and makes the subject both compelling and amusing. This would be a great gift or even a good beach read (for those of you that hang about in a horizontal fashion on sand).
Profile Image for Dna.
656 reviews35 followers
October 10, 2018
I love a good microhistory, but this was just boring and I never felt compelled to pick it back up after a break and keep reading. On to other books.

Profile Image for Michael Huang.
1,033 reviews55 followers
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February 24, 2019
Title says it all: from the Austenian ritual of balls that advertize young girls to potential suitors; to American GIs picking up British girls (fun aside, American GIs earn £700/yr vs £100 for their British counterpart); to today's apps-enhanced dating landscape.
Profile Image for Henry.
929 reviews37 followers
May 4, 2022
- Family background was the main context of courtship (although still relevant today). Queen Victoria's public affection for Albert changed the public's perception of love, and love became a lot more of a public display

- The female's power over courtship increased overtime - to so much that today many male are actually intimidated of complimenting women and scoring a date (hence use apps like Tinder to face rejection more easily)

- During the Great Depression, the high unemployment rate of the men means that lots of men weren't able to score dates, sometimes are even resentful of women who have jobs. For those who have the means, cinema became a great place for dates

- American influence on the Britain is immense: after the war, the British dating culture was basically shaped by the Americans

- During the WW2, American GIs were much better paid than their British counterpart, thus they became a great catch for the British ladies

- The sexual freedom in the UK was synchronized with the American attitude - perhaps with just a small tad of delay. American pop culture has influenced the British culture so much that, American culture was - and perhaps is - the British culture

- The female freedom also becomes a burden: in the old days where male compete for the attention of female, today, female would also have to compete with each other for male attention in traditionally male dominated field such as career
Profile Image for Daniel Skäremo Holmberg.
35 reviews1 follower
December 28, 2022
As others have mentioned, this is an informative read, written in a breezy, humorous style, yet clearly well researched. However, as others have mentioned, it's lacking in deeper analysis, and becomes rather disorienting when single chapters attempt to cover an entire decade but keep skipping back and forth through time, sometimes with no clear reference given to when in the decade events mentioned are taking place.

I know this is written as popular history, and is meant to be an easy read, but I think it would have benefited from a slightly more stringent academic structure just to make orders of events clearer.

And, again as others have mentioned, there are quite a lot of editing mistakes that trip you up as a reader.

Still, absolutely worth reading if the topic interests you at all I think.


PS,
As a foreign reader, it's good to be aware that colloquialisms and sometimes oblique references to UK celebrities are a thing.
DS.
Profile Image for Elizzy B.
292 reviews41 followers
April 25, 2020
Interesante libro que resume de forma bastante entretenida la escena amorosa/sexual/de parejas de Reino Unido desde la época georgiana hasta nuestros días. Un compendio bastante correcto, y sobre todo, contado de forma clara y resultona, de las costumbres del flirteo, el matrimonio o el adulterio a lo largo de los tiempos.
En algunos casos, las anécdotas arrancan una sonrisa por lo lejos que estamos de ellas, y en otras, algo más amarga, por lo cerca que nos encontramos aunque hayan pasado decenas de años.
Me hubiera gustado ver una visión más amplia en otros países, pero claro está, cada país es un mundo y necesitaría su propia guía. Me encantaría ver algo similar, y sin ningún tipo de traumas, en mi país, España, por ejemplo.
Profile Image for Jeff Bobin.
928 reviews13 followers
December 17, 2021
Interesting look at the history of dating starting in the early 1900s through the first decade of this century. A look at how it has changed, why those changes came about and the challenges of dating today.

There is a good deal of thought provoking material that lays the groundwork for understanding past generations and why later generations struggle with restrictions and freedoms and there impact on long-term relationship, particularly marriage.
Profile Image for Kristi Priestley.
451 reviews8 followers
September 19, 2018
I really enjoyed this! The POPSugar challenge required me to read a microhistory, and I am glad I chose this one! This gave me a good journey through history in general, looking at social attitudes and leadership, with a specific focus on relationships and dating. It is humorously written and engaging to read.
Profile Image for Chelsea.
22 reviews7 followers
March 27, 2019
Whilst I was disappointed that the majority of this is about the 20th century, I really enjoyed that it included the dating behaviours of the LGBT+ community. It is quite an easy read if romance and how it has changed is something that interests you.
Profile Image for Meg.
237 reviews12 followers
March 29, 2019
a very brief overview of dating practices throughout the last few centuries, an entertaining enough read to pass the time on public transport. i kept writing down little tidbits that interested me enough to look up in more detail later.
Profile Image for Nicole.
Author 3 books42 followers
April 16, 2019
Great fun, not as academically rigorous as I would like it to be, but an excellent overview of love and dating through the ages (in the UK) and a great starting off point for further research and/or investigation. (Wonderfully diverse/inclusive too!!!)
Profile Image for Lauren.
125 reviews1 follower
August 16, 2019
I learned a lot of facts that I didn't know before (gives me more ammo to be annoying, heck yes) and I liked how each chapter was broken up into a specific era. Sometimes the writing style bored me a bit and the chapters did seem long, but overall an interesting read!
Profile Image for Jeremy.
56 reviews
February 2, 2020
I was actually surprised at the breadth of history covered. While observing from a high level or with broad strokes each time period was encapsulated with a clear view. I’m interested in a second edition in 2050.
4 reviews
December 18, 2023
Maurice Benson

A very interest read. The amount of research Nichi has put in to writing this book must have been astronomical. I commend Nichi this and recommended this book to anybody interested in the subject

Maurice Benson
Profile Image for Alice Chau-Ginguene.
262 reviews7 followers
March 7, 2019
A very thorough history of dating from 18th century to age of Tinder. Very interesting read, couldn’t put it down.
476 reviews2 followers
February 28, 2025
Cute, though way more could have been done with it.
Profile Image for lol.
521 reviews70 followers
October 31, 2018
very informative, but kind of dull. i wish the author would have added more of their personality into the writing
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews

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