We Can Do Better Than This: 35 Voices on the Future of LGBTQ+ Rights

by Amelia Abraham (Editor, Narrator), Beth Ditto (Contributor), Owen Jones (Contributor, Narrator)

We talk about LGBTQ+ equality. But what does it actually mean? And how do we get there?

In this powerful and thought-provoking essay collection, 35 people - from actors, pop stars and athletes to scientists, writers and activists - set out to answer these vital questions.

We Can Do Better Than This meets the famous drag queen who wants to eradicate the stigma around dating trans people, a gay Bangladeshi activist calling for the decriminalisation of homosexuality after his best friends were murdered in a hate crime, the Russian lesbian sex blogger skirting around the law to educate young people, a well-known trans author and journalist who wants to reimagine trans media representation, and the supermodel calling for the end of intersex surgeries on children.

Featuring deeply moving personal stories and provocative new arguments, this is a book about how we can make our world better, and why LGBTQ+ equality should matter to everyone.

Genres: Nonfiction, Queer, LGBT, Essays, Anthologies, Feminism, Politics

9 pages, Audiobook

First published June 3, 2021

About the author

Amelia Abraham is a journalist and author from London.

Reviews

[Gerhard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every new generation that grows up can’t necessarily understand how it was before – how the current normal was achieved. It is normal for each person to assume that where they’re at has always been that way. We just want to be able to love the way we love and be left alone, be left in peace. At the same time, the way we are poses a huge challenge perceived as a provocation to society.

I must admit to being a bit ambivalent to read this book. Yes, we all know how terrible it is to be gay and living in Nigeria or Saudi Arabia, for example. “At the time of writing, homosexuality is still illegal in 69 countries and punishable by death in 6, while being trans is still criminalised in 13 UN member states.” But do we need yet another book to remind us of these dreadful statistics? Preaching to the choir, as it were.

I was immediately reminded of another recent and similar book, the superlative ‘The Pink Line: Journeys Across the World's Queer Frontiers’ by Mark Gevisser, which overcomes this problem by placing the author at the beating heart of the stories he tells. Thankfully, I am very glad to report that editor Amelia Abraham also overcomes this problem in ‘We Can Do Better Than This’.

The key is in the subtitle, ‘35 Voices on the Future of LGBTQ+ Rights’. Abraham brings together a commendably broad and eclectic range of voices, from celebrities to activists, artists, actors, drag queens and academics, et al. Each essay or contribution – the majority are not that long, which also helps the reader to digest the book more easily – is in the form of a manifesto: Outlining a specific problem or issue, and then proposing tangible and practical actions or solutions, and also how to go about implementing these from a grass-roots level.

Of course, a lot of these problems and issues relate to trans people in particular, and the permutations of modern gender specifically, from asexual to intersex and non-binary. The post-Stonewall gay world has become incredibly complex and fraught with all kinds of intersections of race and gender politics.

Abraham points out that far too little research has been conducted in this regard. What is also striking is how many of these problems and issues cross the narrow divide of being solely ‘gay’ issues, and instead permeate society in general. Interestingly, the Covid-19 pandemic has accelerated intersectionality as a key driver of social change. Adam Eli writes in ‘Doing Better’:

In September 2019, the Queer Liberation March team began planning for Pride 2020. Those plans, along with much more, were instantly shoved aside in March 2020 when – BOOM – the entire world shut down due to Covid-19. Then, on 25 May, George Floyd was killed by the police. Like many others, I watched as protests against systemic racism and police brutality erupted in every state of America, and as thousands of people in Paris, London, Berlin and across the world. With official NYC Pride events cancelled, queer people took to the streets to support Black lives and Black queer lives, and there were at least four big rallies at the Stonewall Inn itself.

What comes across strongly in this book is the role of activism from both an individual and a community level. “Knowing we need to do better and actually doing better are two very different things,” points out Eli.

Not everyone’s stories and struggles are the same. However, a queer person can always relate to another queer person on at least a basic level because all queer people were born into a predominantly straight world. … I believe that because queer people are able to identify with each other in this way, we have an obligation to stand up for each other.

[Sara]

I don't rate autobiographies, memoirs or books specifically about individual's lived experiences.

Quick review: Great range of voices and backgrounds all within the LGBTQIA+ community. I found most of the essays incredibly insightful, leading to a change in my own though process and how I can make small changes in my personal and work life to improve and uplift the LGBTQIA+ community. Just changing your perspective slightly can offer up a whole new world and increase accessibility to those marginalised.

In particular I really liked Levi Hord's essay on Pregnancy Beyond Gender, Fox Fisher's Navigating Trans Healthcare and As We Grow Older from Juno Roche. Highly recommend.

[Emily Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really informative and eye opening read for both LGBTQ+ people and ally’s.

This was a great read, it covered a bit of everything from racism, transphobia, homophobia to how communities are effected by things like politics, laws and the monarchy.

It covers body issues and infighting within the lgbt+ community but leaves you smiling by the end with plenty of powerful essays on how we can create change for the better, and shape a more inclusive future.

Also though it’s not mentioned on the cover there is an essay by Shura inside, a fact I know many of us sapphics will scream about. (It’s a bloody great essay.)

This obviously handles a lot of prominent hard hitting topics so I’ll list the TWs (I noted, may be more I missed) for each individual essay below, skip if you don’t want vague spoilers.



Tom Rasmussen (1) Hate crimes, homophobia, hate language.

Mazharul Islam (2) Homophobic colonial laws, Colonisation, Violence (involving machetes), murder, hate crimes, death of a friend, blackmail, outing.

Pabllo Vittar (3) Bullying, mild violence.

Shura (4) Homophobia, misogyny, fetishisation, hate crime, violence.

Vincent Desmond (5) Sexual abuse, criminalisation of gay people, murder, police issues, catfishing (to lure) , doxing.

Beth Ditto (6) Fat shaming and body image, homophobia, class gap, healthcare.

Holland (7) Bullying, sexual assault, anxiety, depression, censorship.

Mykki Blanco (8) HIV, childhood SA (non descriptive)

Yasmin Benoit (9) harassment, acephobia.

Juliet Jacques (10) Transphobia, outing, media harassment, murder, hate crimes, misgendering, suicide.

Shon Faye (11) Cosmetic surgery, murder, stigmas around sex work.

Naoise Dolan (12) SA (non descriptive), mental illness, bullying, Ableism (autism)

Amrou Al-Kadhi (13) Stigmas, shame, homophobia, transphobia, racism, toxic masculinity.

Peppermint (14) Transphobia, hate crimes, trans panic defence, mentions of violence.

Andrew Gurza (15) Ableism.

Levi Hord (16) Patriarchy, pregnancy (as a trans person), doctor bias, forced sterilisation (trans, indigenous and disabled communities), medical interference in reproductive rights.

Owen Jones (17) Homophobia, property destruction, biphobia, self harm (non descriptive), depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol mentions, Margaret Thatcher.

Olly Alexander (18) Homophobia, depression, self harm, binging and purging, HIV

Sasha Kazantseva (19) Sex mentions, medical stigma, STD’s, homophobic laws (Russia)

Fox Fisher (20) Gender stereotypes, fights, blood, medical access issues, transphobia, transphobic laws.

Hanne Gaby Odiele (21) Forced intersex surgeries, corrective surgeries on children to young to consent themselves.

Carl Siciliano (22) Riots, homelessness, police brutality, racism.

Juno Roche (23) Disowned youth, HIV, homelessness, ageism.

Jonathon Anderson (24) Toxic masculinity, homophobia.

Amelia Abraham (25) Enforced gender roles, transphobia, stigma in sports.

Bobbi Salvör Menuez (26) Misgendering.

Kate Bornstein (27) Infighting, homophobia, transphobia.

Travis Alabanza (28) Dysphoria, transphobia, violence, hate language.

Wolfgang Tillmans (29) Stereotypes, gender ‘norms’.

Matthew Riemer (30) Racism, oppression.

Ridyadh Khalaf (31) Initial non acceptance from parental figure.

Madison Moore (32) Police brutality, entrapment.

Leticia Opio (33) Disowning, HIV, death, mentions of sex work, homelessness, outing.

Phyll Opoku-Gyimah (34) Colonisation, the monarchy.

Adam Eli (35) Mass shooting mentions, murder, hate crimes, homophobia, transphobia.

[Chris C · Rating 3 out of 5]

A mixed bag tbh. Some of the essays gave me new perspectives/educated me further on certain issues/highlighted potential blind spots in my own activism.

My problem is there were just as many, if not more, essays where I was really grasping to find any kind of substance or rallying call. I don't want that to seem dismissive of writers who have shared very personal stories here but for a book selling itself as "Voices on the Future of LGBTQ+ Rights", it was lacking drive from several writers on what tangible changes they wanted to see and how they saw us all collectively bringing those changes around.

[Eoin McGrath · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent - what an achievement from Abraham.

"Things don't always get better for queer people, but we can."

[Tarian · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ich empfinde diese Sammlung an kurzen Texten eher als Bestandaufnahme oder Materialsammlung der gegenwärtigen LGBTQ+-Community. Eher störend war dabei der anscheinend von Herausgeberin Amelia Abraham gewählte Ansatz, alle Beitragenden zu bitten, einen Wunsch für die queere Community zu formulieren. Inhaltlich umfassen die Texte viele verschiedene Aspekte queeren Lebens und lehren allen, ob Teil der Community oder nicht, Empathie. Sie geben Einblick auch in diejenigen Lebensentwürfe, die meistens hinter geschlossenen Türen stattfinden. Gestört hat mich das Ausblenden der ökonomischen Verhältnisse, die höchstens als eine Diskriminierung unter vielen erwähnt werden, ein fehlender Universalismus und eine Sprache, die im Versuch zu Empowern seltsam ephemeren Metaphern und Bildern verfällt oder pseudoreligiöse Töne anschlägt.

[Shannen · Rating 4 out of 5]

"When marginialised people connect with, learn from, and build upon the efforts and struggles of those who came before, we inch ever closer to a new and better world."

We Can Do Better Than This is an anthology of 35 essays from queer activists on various topics that are currently impacting the LGBTQIA+ community. From healthcare to law to relationships to pronouns to discrimination to pride to abuse to activism, it has it all. As with all anthologies, I expect to have the good and the bad essays but generally, I enjoyed all of the essays featured but simply connected with some more than others.

My personal favourites were:
- Leaving Bangladesh by Mazharul Islam
- Single and Fabulous? by Amrou Al-Kadhi
- Pregnancy Beyond Gender by Levi Hord
- Queering Sex Ed by Sasha Kazantseva
- The End of Intersex Surgeries by Hanne Gaby Odiele
- As We Grow Older by Juno Roche
- Pronouns as Portal Magic by Bobbi Salvör Menuez
- When it Comes to Sex and Gender, You're Right by Kate Bornstein
- Doing Better by Adam Eli

Each contributor brings their own unique stories, experiences and perspectives to queer issues and speaks on those issues eloquently. It was wonderful to see the inclusion of minority and lesser known identities in the queer community such as asexuals and intersex people. Generally, the representation was diverse and there was a lot of discussion on gay and trans identities and topics, but there seemed to be a lack of representation of multisexual identities including bisexuals, pansexuals, omnisexuals and polyamorous people. Nonetheless, I appreciate that it's hard to include every single identity and topic into a 300 page book and 35 small essays and the editor did a generally great job at being diverse with the contributors and topics they chose to include.

"Queer people come from every walk of life and therefore have different experiences of the world and of being queer. Denying that certain queer people have advantages or priveleges that others do is disrespectful, detrimental and, frankly, a waste of time. Not everyone's stories and struggles are the same. However, a queer person can always relate to another queer person on at least a basic level because all queer people were born into a predominantly straight world."

It was an emotional and inspiring read which demonstrated the value and importance of having queer activists and queer public figures to advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights, which although have improved in many ways over the years, still have a long way to go. I liked that it wasn't a solely Western perspective and that there were essays which focused on what it means to be queer in places all over the world including places where homosexuality is illegal such as Bangladesh, Brazil and Nigeria. Likewise, I found the chapters on things related to disability, age and inclusion in queer spaces fascinating since these are topics that can sometimes be overlooked within the community. The book touches upon the in-fighting and gatekeeping within the community which often comes down to who has it the hardest and exluding certain queer individuals on the basis that they have more priveleges. The above quote from Adam Eli's essay did a great job at addressing that and of advocating for more togetherness in the LGBTQIA+ community.

As to be expected with any LGBTQIA+ book, there were a lot of upsetting discussions about the discrimination, abuse and hatred queer people face but there were also messages about pride, acceptance, love and building a better future. Ending with a section about activism served as an uplifting ending to the book which encourages queer people and allies to become more involved in LGBTQIA+ issues and rights.

Overall, We Can Do Better Than This was an insightful and empowering read. It captures the diversity of the LGBTQIA+ community and the fight for equality that is central to LGBTQIA+ activism well. It's accessible to all regardless of prior knowledge of LGBTQIA+ topics and is a valuable educational resource.

"The first step in building a kinder queer community is learning to love ourselves for who we truly are, not punishing ourselves for who we have 'failed' to be"

[Siobhan · Rating 5 out of 5]

We Can Do Better Than This: 35 Voices on the Future of LGBTQ+ Rights is a collection of short essays by various contributors that set out the present and future of areas such as healthcare, community, and visibility for LGBTQ+ people. Covering topics across the UK and USA but also Uganda, Russia, Bangladesh, Brazil, and more, the book manages to get a great breadth of material from people doing work or who have personal experience in these areas. It opens with essays on the topic of 'safety', highlighting the dangers faced by many people in the present day, and then does on to cover visibility, dating, love and family, health and social care, going beyond the binary, and community and organising.

What is particularly impressive the range both of topics covered and of people involved, with famous names in various areas contributing to the collection. Everyone is going to have essays that particularly speak to them—I personally found Juliet Jacques' look at transphobia and the UK media particularly powerful as it charted the history of the UK media's treatment of trans people, which obviously is a pressing and depressing subject. A lot of the international essays taught me about what is happening in other countries, and it's good to get that balance alongside the UK-focused contributions. I also liked Yasmin Benoit's look at asexual visibility, especially non-white asexual people, Amelia Abraham's essay on gendered sporting frameworks and how they need updating, and Travis Alabanza's imagining of a trans future without surveillance.

I didn't expect the collection to be able to cover so many different interesting topics and futures for LGBTQ+ people, but by keeping the essays short, the book both covers a lot and stays readable and engaging, suggesting you should go away and find out more if it's something new to you. It serves as a reminder that globally there is still a lot to do and also that by imagining futures and setting out the change that needs to happen, more people can be drawn into being a part of making that change.

[Katy · Rating 3 out of 5]

a real mixed bag this one. some really moving essays and a couple that imo should just not have been in there

[Yoana Misirkova · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very educational read covering various topics related to LGBTQ+ rights. I particularly liked the diversity in terms of author backgrounds, sexual orientation and gender.
This book made me aware of many problems and areas of improvement that I had not considered before at all. I think there is a lot to learn if you're not very familiar with the topic and there are recommendations on what you can do to support the community as best as you can.
Overall I would say this is a very well-thought out collection of essays and a great introduction for anyone who wants to know more about topics such as safety, education, medical care, friendships and relationships and more in the context of the LGBTQ+ community from an intersectional point of view.

[sonyaaaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

very nice collection! fantastic pieces from Shon Faye, Juliet Jacques, Peppermint, Owen Jones, and Travis Alabanza. took off a star for a few essays that felt too kumbaya and imo should not have been included.

[laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

so so so incredibly important. i almost couldn’t put it down. the structure of the book makes it so easy to read and accessible to anyone that wants to educate themselves and learn from lgbtqia+ voices around the world

[Demi Cramb · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is structured very well focussing on 6 key themes. I enjoyed the different perspectives from across the spectrum of queer over the world. It doesn't feel narrow at all.

I recommend this for anyone in the community, their allies or anyone wanting to better educate themselves.

[Medea Ghijsen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Strong and diverse essay collection - although I felt a contribution about bisexuality was definitely lacking. Really appreciated the inclusion of chapters on asexuality and intersex!

[Leo Robertson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting perspectives on queer rights from a variety of sources.

[Tom Ryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of 35 essays by queer voices on the future of LGBTQ+ rights.

I appreciated the diversity of the voices. Obviously some of the essays resonated more than others. Particular highlights were Kate Bornstein’s and Travis Alabanza’s essays.

Tbh, something I struggled with is how much worse some things have gotten in the UK/US in the four short years since this was published - particularly in regard to trans rights.

It’s no secret either - the direction of travel has been evident for a decade to those paying attention.

Nonetheless, the jarring disparity between the hope in some of these issues for imagined futures and the cruel reality of the current moment only serve to reinforce the need to continue resisting and building community.

[Tay☆✿ · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF Read about 3 quarters, but had a hard time getting that far. I constantly struggled to pick it back up. Definitely a great book, just better suited to another reader.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent, rich collection of 35 pieces written by thinkers, activists and public figures involved in various ways with the fight for LGBTQ+ rights. While the primary focus is the British context, the book includes a refreshingly diverse range of contexts, as well as raising a wide variety of issues that concern different individuals and communities within the enormous umbrella of the LGBTQ+ community. Topics range from ageism and loneliness among older members of the queer community (Juno Roche), LGBTQ+ mental health issues and services (Owen Jones), changing representational politics (Beth Ditto, Shon Faye), transphobia in dating (Peppermint), the co-optation of Pride and reclamation of its radical histories and revolutionary potential (madison moore), sex education (Sasha Kazantseva, Olly Alexander), homelessness among LGBTQ+ youth (Carl Siciliano) and intersectionality and tackling racism within the LGBTQ+ community (Phyll Opoku-Gyimah). This is by no means an exhaustive list of what is included in the volume - and the collection is clearly not intended to act as an exhaustive summary of issues related to the topic of LGBTQ+ activism. But it is a rich, energising collection which invites the reader, whether member of the LGBTQ+ community or ally, to think and act with more sensitivity to the complexities of activism and greater awareness of the many ongoing injustices and fights that still stand ahead of us, in a movement that, in western contexts, is often framed as almost "behind us". Each chapter is quite short and very readable, meaning it's also a good book to read over a longer period of time in short stints (I read it slowly over the course of several months). The book closes with an excellent resource in the form of a list of organisations providing different services to members of the LGBTQ+ community (mainly UK-focused), a reminder that this is not just about ideas but about amazing work being done every day to move towards the visions and ideals of the contributors to this collection.

[Alicja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Big thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for my e-copy.

There is no question about the fact that ‘We Can Do Better Than This’ is an important read.

It’s an also hard book to read. I often found myself not being able to read more than one, maybe two essays at once. They are all powerful, moving and angering in their own ways, and they stay in your mind for a long time after you have finished reading the last word.

I’m lucky to live in a relatively liberal country, a country with many issues, and yet in some ways with a situation much better than others. But I’m also from a country, where LGBTQ+ rights are not freely accepted.

It has been a hard read, some of the stories in ‘We Can Do Better Than This’ are so utterly heartbreaking, but I think everyone should read it and listen to the voices in this book, and try to make some changes.

‘We Can Do Better Than This’ is both a personal story of so many people, and a call to action. And it will definitely stay in my mind for a long time.

[Grace Richards · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great collection of essays from LGBTQ+ people about issues across the world that queer people face. My absolute favourite essays were about trans people in the UK media (Juliet Jacques), living openly with HIV (Mykki Blanco), being queer and single (Amrou Al-Kadhi - who's introduction to their essay is the funniest paragraph I've ever read and I am now getting their book), and intersex rights (Hanne Gaby Odiele).

This collection is impressively broad and covers pretty much the whole spectrum of LGBTQ+ identities, including perspectives from different countries.

[Cleo Mace · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of just very surface level. Travis Alabanza’s piece is excellent, Juliet Jacques’ is very well-framed and concise, but many of the others feel somewhat lacking, and unfocused. Perhaps this book isn’t targeted at someone like me who interacts with a lot of this material already. A good thing is how much it looks at issues in other countries, which does often get missed out by (white) queer writers in the UK. Idk, maybe you want this in your bag to just flit into something when you’re on the bus, but then I’d rather have a book of short stories or poetry or something.

[Claire (Book Blog Bird) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really interesting compilation of essays from queer writers on how we can make society and the world better, or at least a bit more equal, for LGBTQ+ people. There was such a great variety of voices that contributed to this anthology that each essay felt really individual and nothing felt overdone or hackneyed. Definitely recommended.

[tastypinata · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't necessarily think this was about the future of LGBTQ+ rights, but I gained some valuable insights on the LGBTQ+ realities in different countries and parts of the community I didn't know very much about. Might be more interesting if you're new to the community/topic or value a mosaic more than a cohesive narrative

[Amber Rhodes · Rating 4 out of 5]

A vital collection of contributors who all provide unique and necessary Perspective on a number of important topics in the LGBTQ+ community.

If your looking to read a book this pride that will give you material you can learn from, this is it.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars!

[Rakie Keig · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent collection of essays from a whole bunch of different people. Prepare to be both angry and inspired!

[Emma Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great collection of LGBTQ+ essays that make you appreciate how far we've come but inspires you to keep working to help push the community forward.

[Marina]

* Updates - January 03, 2023!

Thankyou Periplus Bookstore for the discount from IDR 198.000 only for IDR 109.000!

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[tanishka · Rating 4 out of 5]

an insightful read talking about concrete steps we as individuals and a community can take to increase acceptance and decrease violence and prejudice against queer individuals

[Amy Chennells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely incredible!!