The Summer Friend

by Charles McGrath

A wistful look back at family, youth, and the intoxicating magic of New England summers, as well as a rumination on friendship and loss, by an esteemed writer and essayist and the former editor of The New York Times Book Review


We all have vivid memories of summers past and the bright skin of youth: of those first days when school has ended; of long days of leisure and pleasure reading dog-eared paperbacks; of camps or cottages or vacation spots we returned to every year; of family road trips and their attendant stresses; of our sexual awakenings and longings; of first dates and becoming lovestruck; of fireworks and lawn games; of penny candies and thunderstorms and drive-in movie theaters; of bracing swims and inevitable sunburns; of outdoor showers and sandy feet; and, who can forget, of timeless friendships forged.

In The Summer Friend, Charles McGrath looks back at his younger days and the pleasures of summer with affection and longing, recalling with a gimlet eye experiences familiar to so many of us. But he also looks back with a clarity that suggests many of our memories may have become idealized over time. More than a tribute to seasons past, Summer is also a poignant story about friendship, about two men from different backgrounds who come together late in life, bonding over shared experiences, experiences born in the saddle of summer and beyond, and with children afoot. Later, when his friend is stricken with cancer, their relationship is imbued with new measure and meaning.

A paean to family, friendship and youth.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Relationships

240 pages, Hardcover

Published June 7, 2022

Reviews

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Audiobook…read by the author — Charles McGraft
….4 hours and 21 minutes

Absolutely LOVELY!!!!

Sometimes …. nothing I can say will be better than what’s already been said:
“To read Chip McGraft’s gentle elegant memoir. . . Is to lose yourself in your own past summers, especially the one’s of your youth, when you imagined there’d be an infinite number of them, and also friends to share those summers with. That both turn out to be numbered makes this book positively ache with beauty and loss” — Richard Russo

One of the things that stood out for me — besides the fact that this was the ‘ultimate’ gem-nitty-gritty-authentic summer read …. with gorgeous writing — descriptions—and stories -
that so perfectly depicts summers —
was Charles McGraft, himself. What a beautiful human being — modest, smart, kind, aware, wise, even a little funny —- ( a youthful spirit for an old geezer).

“The Summer Friend” has the texture of a slim-jim novel — yet it’s a true story.

This quiet reflective book — with that magnificent book cover — especially for those of us who remember the 50’s and 60’s (where we are brought into the experiences along with McGraft), just might be prompted a desire to read another book by McGraft.
It sure does me.

….A few extra-curricular summer memories????
ADD YOUR OWN
….swimming, boating, BBQ’s, sleeping in, watching TV re-runs (in your jammies if so wanted), playing board games, getting sunburn, ( before awareness of skin cancer)… peeling your sunburn skin off days later, cannonballs, jumping off decks into lakes, going barefoot, buying penny candy (remember those wax little bottles with colored syrup inside?), free-range playing (life before helicopter parenting and packed-filled-scheduled activities for kids),
friends, ice cream, late nights, skinny dipping, sandcastles, shirts, T-shirts, sailing, golf. blowing up things, mischievous adventures, falling in love, best friends, family rituals, the cycles of life,
etc.

[Diane Barnes · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars, rounded up.
This was a beautiful memoir about a friendship that started on a vacation trip to a Massachusetts beach town, and lasted and was nurtured for over 30 years. Men "do" friendship a little differently than women, it seems as though it has to be centered around sports and hobbies. Golf, sailing, clamming, trips to the dump, these men had their summertime rituals. A little too much play by play in the golf and sailing chapters, neither of which I do, made my interest sag in spots. But an overall very good book.

[Jessica Armstrong · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wanted to love this book - but it missed for me. It felt like a book of short essays pulled together to make a memoir. The author is a book editor that spends his summers in New England, and makes a friend in adulthood that feels like a childhood friend. What struck me is how different male and female friendships are - I couldn't really connect with the depth of their connection the way I generally do with female friendship memoirs. Some of the best ones I recall were Let's Take the Long Way Home by Gail Caldwell, or Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett. These gorgeous memoirs of a female friendship made me melt and really feel the depth and the unique connection.

[Jim · Rating 5 out of 5]

Charles McGrath seems like a really good person. He is funny, honest, humble, a good friend, and a terrific writer. Reading this memoir made me seek out other things that he has written. Young readers may not enjoy this story of a middle aged male friendship as much as an old guy like me, but I loved it.

[Joel · Rating 4 out of 5]

a love letter to summer I found myself reading the week of Christmas / enjoyed

[Tracy Challis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was about so many things that I don’t usually have much interest in or don’t understand. Golf, lobsters, male friendships, death, but is was funny and touching and real. I laughed in places and felt the loss of a friend. I enjoyed the writing and the little peak into someone else’s life.

[Martha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most of all, this is a beautiful tribute to a dear friend but in addition it is also a tribute to a season - summer. Anyone who has enjoyed summers, (and isn't that everyone?) especially in New England and more specifically at the shore, will enjoy this layered and poignant memoir.

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brief, gentle memoir, centered on a lifetime of summer houses and vacations and a best friend author Chio McGrath met, as an adult, along the way, by a former NYTBR editor (among other powerful media positions) who vibes WASP but in fact really isn't at all. I really enjoyed a lot of this book, especially when McGrath riffs on what summer feels like, the unforced nostalgia of it all, its recurring simple pleasures over so many years, and how it all seems to blend into a single time period even as it spans a lifetime.    

It's pretty easy for me to identify with these sections. I've always been a huge fan of the season--it's by far the best time of year--and am enormously grateful to have have several different annual retreats throughout my life, including various locations in Vermont, an amazing lake in New Hampshire, as well as a couple beach towns, from Martha's Vineyard as a youth to Montauk in the 1990s and early aughts. I even (especially?) love summer in the city. All the great loves of my life started in the summer, and both my daughters were born during the season, and I've been fortunate enough to share a couple of these summer places/traditions with them. 

McGrath's chapters on boating and golfing, two activities which have not figured in my life but take up an enormous amount of space in his, were less convincing. Weirdly, too, Chip's unexpected friendship with a guy he meets in 30s also named Chip (both of their sons are named Ben), resonated less than I expected, though I did get choked up when he died (not a spoiler). Maybe I just didn't like Chip as much as Chip did? Idk but either way, hell yeah summer, time to get back to it.  

[Spencer Rugen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A super cute memoir about the author’s late friend Chip, who he met while vacationing in a small Massachusetts beach town one summer. From that point on, the two guys and their families spend every summer together. At points, this book has very little to do with Chip and instead just talks about McGrath’s memories of summer and why he loves it so much. Each chapter covers a different summer activity or tradition (again, some featured Chip more heavily than others but he was tied in somehow to most): sailing, golfing, lobster trapping, going to the dump, making up lawn games that turn into annual tournaments. All of it just made me super nostalgic; McGrath did a fantastic job of capturing the beauty of summertime and what makes those short three months so wonderful. Sadly, Chip ends up getting diagnosed with late stage cancer, and the book moves into their final summers together. The book is McGrath’s way of sharing how much the friendship meant to him, something he wishes he did more of when Chip was alive, but also something that never felt necessary for two guys who seemed to prefer just being together rather than talking about anything in particular. Great summer read but with a cost of being sad !!!

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A beautiful tribute to summer days and a friend who made them magical for Charles McGrath, the author.

[bryana. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Slow read but I think its a true and beautiful image of friendship, and as a reader we get a peek into every stage of life.

[S. Walsh · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was wonderful to read about Chip McGarth's rhythms and rituals of summer and a male friendship that came about later in adulthood. It reminded me of my own summers and the various activities that I returned to over the years. It was sweet to read about a tender, understated male friendship, free of conflict and tension, as a counterpoint that all is happening in the world right now. I've been thinking a lot about grief lately, and McGrath's memoir certainly angled this experience in a different sort of way, more with a focus on the light, joy, and life's small pleasures. Reading his book was like sitting at a shoreline with quiet waves washing against my ankles—it was so pleasant and lovely. Definitely recommend as a summer read.

[Brier Gunderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

cute but also meh

[Eileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charkes McGrath had a best friend who he spent his summers with during most of his adult life. They had many things in common, including the same nickname, sons and daughters roughly the same ages, and similar leisure time interests. They started out as summer neighbors at a lakeside community. They had different religions and spent their childhoods in different circumstances, but their lives had brought them to a point where their shared summer activities were high points for both families. The book is a low-key sharing of some of those activities. They both sailed Beetle class boats and competed in races without winning. Family activities like charades in costume really sounded like fun. They golfed a lot, but were poor golfers. They tried catching lobsters, but even though they caught some, the traps, license, and equipment expenses made no economic sense. Leisure time activities were clearly a change of pace from their careers. McGrath was an editor and writer who eventually left his job to write full time. His friend was an architect. The book came into being as a way for McGrath to deal with the death of his friend. It took him years to decide to write the book; then it was only at his daughter's suggestion. One reason for writing was his own sense of death becoming closer, not because of any health issues, but more an inevitability.
The book made a personal impression om me because my own best friend has been dead over ten years, and I miss the simple things we shared. Readers who have lost best friends will find this a moving, bittersweet book.

[Lisa Carlson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Contributing editor NY Times, editor Golf Stories, Charles McGrath takes us back to a place most of us cherish in the present and in past memories; spectacular summers. The Summer Friend is an elevated memoir about the cadence of friendship, family-not perfect, hobbies-golf, swimming, boating and the loss of a friend. The title is ideal but the writing is pitch perfect; it brings the reader right there in the moment. I loved how imperfect and modest their summer place was. In many ways it reminded me of my summers in northwestern Minnesota growing up as a kid with my grandparents, parents and friends. It didn't matter what the accommodations were because being near the water was everything. You don't have to love boating, golf or lobsters to appreciate the message McGrath is sharing. It's rather timeless as is the summer season. The friendship between two men feels as though it was meant to be as there is no conflict; only joviality and trying new things. Often it is a friend who shows us how courageous we really are.

[Kristi · Rating 4 out of 5]

“People meet and fall in love at other times of year, of course, but the arrival of summer seems to promise of fresh start, an opportunity to meet someone out of the ordinary. The weather is nice, the sun is out, even your skin, newly bared after a winter of smothering, seems to come alive. “

In this short and touching memoir, Charles McGrath writes about how summer has shaped his life, along with the decades long friendship of his best friend and fellow “Chip”.

Reading this book was like taking a trip down memory lane to my own summers as a child, on the Cape, in a cottage within walking distance of the water. Mismatched chairs. Uncomfortable beds. But a ton of memories with family, board games, Uno, and all of the seafood.

I very much enjoyed the story of the Chips, and how their friendship evolved over time. Despite distance. Despite cancer. A heartwarming and loving ode to great friends, old love, and summers spent on the water. 🌊

[Mark Pinkerton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm happy to have read this book, as it delivered what I was seeking.

The story of friendship in mid-life was good too. What was I looking for in the book? A reminder of the fleeting pleasure of summer days in and near the sea in the Northeastern U.S. I grew up back east, near the water but not so exotic as having a summer place -- I rode my bike or my family made beach day trips. But summers were special -- endless at that time, moving more quickly now. The book delivered on my memories.

Now I live in Southern California and summers are longer and it's less easy to "escape" to the idle and innocent pastimes described in the book.

[Jeana Tecci · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was at times 4star ⭐️ star, other times 2 or 3⭐️. If you enjoy golf and sailing I think those chapters hit better, if you don’t, you can skip them. That’s the thing about nonfiction sometimes, you don’t have to have read the entire book to enjoy it or join the book club discussion.

This book was relaxing and nostalgic making me think of my summers at “the club” and Cape Cod. How you have your school friends then forget them completely in the fog of summer for your summer friends. If you’re looking for light nonfiction this was an easy summer read. (But like I said, chapters you have no interest in are optional, like golf. So much golf. Haha. 😉)

[Linda Loretz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charles McGrath, an illustrious writer, produces beautiful prose in The Summer Friend, a memoir of friendship and summer. He narrates everything that has made summers special throughout his life. He begins by describing the fond memories of the summer family vacations he enjoyed as a child and continues to explain how he created similar experiences for his children and grandchildren.

He introduces his friend, Chip, his wife, and his family early in the story and conveys a great sense of camaraderie that the McGrath family had with theirs. The wives and children were compatible, and many family get-togethers, some growing into neighborhood traditions, provided years of enjoyment for all.

Activities included conventional summer fare such as swimming, boating, and golfing. Since the setting was in New England, there was also lobstering, fishing, and fireworks. Chip was creative and inventive as well as competitive. He proposed athletic challenges and silly driveway games that developed into full-blown events that would entertain the families for hours and days. Charles McGrath, also nicknamed Chip, had memorable men-only outings in addition to family times. We know from the novel's beginning that Chip dies young, and this book is a tribute to their friendship and the great value of companionship.
https://quipsandquotes.net/

[Patty · Rating 4 out of 5]

An idyllic look back over a span of 25 years of friendship formed during vacations during the summer. Chip and Chip are an unlikely pair but become friends with a deep and mutual admiration for one another. They share hilarious moments of golfing, sailing, and lighting fireworks in a way that only guys can do. One Chip gets cancer and the other remains a steadfast friend. The death of Chip leaves the other Chip in grief but from his grief a beautiful story is told of life, time passing, and friendship.

[Frances · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book spoke to me as a person who "summers," as McGrath would say. His detailed memories of New England lake summers allowed me to vividly recall my own Jersey Shore adventures and mishaps with family and friends. As a matter of fact, I gained insight into why my most lasting relationships are with my summer people; we are used to appearing and reappearing and just continuing where we were. His love for Chip as a friend is inspirational and relatable. An absolute must-read for anyone who has these kinds of ceaselessly seasonal people in their lives!!

[Christine Heron · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’d call this an ode to summer. I thoroughly enjoyed the chapters reminiscing about summer. A few chapters, Messing with boats and Racing weren’t my cup of tea, as they were more technical and less personal. As it’s a memoir of friendship, I think I would’ve liked a little more introspection about the friendship instead of “we didn’t talk much”. Though, overall I enjoyed the tales of summer and getting to know the Chips.

[Michael Byron · Rating 4 out of 5]

An engrossing nonfiction book about the author’s relationship with summer over his lifetime. Some chapters focus on McGrath’s story, some are more general chapters on ‘summer’ , golf, lobstering, etc. most compelling are the chapters about his friendship with someone he met during his summer vacations. They got along well, had lots of fun and adventures. It’s not a spoiler to state that his friend dies of cancer. It’s a poignant, interesting and sometimes amusing book.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, but I felt very disconnected from it. The author assumes that we all have had these summer experiences without acknowledging that they have largely been available for white people- even not very prosperous white people. The most interesting part of the book to me was when the author spoke about his family. I could not relate to the golf and the sailing, and felt that the book was overall emotionally empty.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had never read this author but a patron had this checked out and had raved about it.
I'm not the biggest fan of memoirs so it took me a bit to get started with this book. Actually started it in August but then re-checked it out in December...it brought up memories of past family summers for me...different setting...I was spending summers in Oklahoma but it was interesting to reminisce over my own summers too. And I'm a big beach fan as an adult.

[Suzanne MacPherson · Rating 1 out of 5]

This read like a high school students report, "How I spent My Summer Vacations" instead of a real discussion of friendship over time and it's meaning. And the loss of one's best and very special friend.

The last chapter was the only chapter that had any feeling at all and certainly not enough. I wanted to learn about the two men in this book and what they meant to each other. Instead it was a too long tale of what the author did on his summer vacations.

[Lloyd Fassett]

6/10/22 Found it in the Wall St. Journal review here
‘The Summer Friend’ Review: Life Is a Beach
Memories of New England summers by the water—and what made them special—from writer Charles McGrath.

Other reviews on GoodReads make it sound interesting too

[fpk · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a sweet book. I enjoyed reading this remembrance story, a sweet tribute to McGrath’s friend Chip. Poignant, funny, wistful. The only parts I got lost in were the chapters about boat racing and golf. I know very little about these sports, and I don’t have much interest in them either/a lot of the lingo was over my head.
Other than that, I really liked this book and this writer.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Again, I would have rated this on 3.5 if available. Well written memoir about a special adult friendship between two men (and their families) who shared a sense of summer adventuring in New England. Loved their spontaneity and playfulness. Not always interested in the boring (to me) details of sailing, fireworks, lobstering, golf, etc.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn't necessarily my type of book but I can appreciate that it was well written and that there are very few books that delve into friendships among men. I would've given it less stars but don't want to penalize it just because it wasn't my cup of tea. And being from the Boston area I enjoyed the references to places I'm familiar with.