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Willow's Pack #1
Tortured Heart
Stolen from a loving home as a child, my life has been a living hell since just before my third birthday. Forced to forget my birthright and the powers that come with it. My life consists of cleaning, punishments and being locked within the four walls, I’m forced to call home. Until one day a mistake forces my jailers to allow me to attend the local high school. Where I meet them. Parker, Zack, Ren, Kingston and Rowan. An invisible tether draws me to them. They are some of the only people I have had show me kindness in as long as I can remember. Which terrifies me. How am I supposed to let them into my heart when I’ve already been hurt by the ones that were supposed to love me the most. Just when I think that everything is going to get better, some new information comes to light and my whole life is turned upside down.
*Paranormal RH*, m/m, why choose, book one of a duet. Book two will end with a HFN (Happy For Now ending). Slow-burn. Shifter romance, fated mates. Slightly naive heroine. There will be more books in this universe and future character cross overs.
Trigger Warning; Abuse, PTSD, violence, assault, abduction, abuse from a parent/caregiver. More extensive trigger warning in the book. Sexual themes are suitable for +18.
*Paranormal RH*, m/m, why choose, book one of a duet. Book two will end with a HFN (Happy For Now ending). Slow-burn. Shifter romance, fated mates. Slightly naive heroine. There will be more books in this universe and future character cross overs.
Trigger Warning; Abuse, PTSD, violence, assault, abduction, abuse from a parent/caregiver. More extensive trigger warning in the book. Sexual themes are suitable for +18.
230 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 15, 2021
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897 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 125 reviews
November 12, 2021
This book was all over the place.
Mia has been kept locked up, like a prisoner, and made to be a servant to her 'parents' for the last 15ish years. She finds out that both of her parental units are going to be out of the house for the day, so she decides she's going to sneak into the backyard and steal a few moments in the sun; however, the neighbor sees her and reports what she thinks is child neglect or abuse to the authorities. Mia gets beaten, again, and then is told she is going to be enrolled in high school. Mia starts school and immediately meets her fated mates - Rowan, Parker, Kingston, Len, and Zack.
Overall, the story sounded intriguing - kidnapped MC is abused, meets her mates, finds out she came from a loving home, and eventually finds her way back. However, in reading this, I was often caught up on details that made absolutely no sense or what seemed like continuity issues. Some of the continuity stuff was addressed later in the book, almost as an afterthought (it seemed), but for most of the book it was something that, for me, was distracting from the story.
Initially, I liked Mia/Willow. She had it rough and she did what she could to survive. Then as she meets her mates and gets to know them, is where it gets a little weird for me. One second, she's scared of being reprimanded for something, and the next she's a sex kitten. She has a flashback about a time where she was nearly molested and then within the chapter she's sitting in someones lap essentially grinding on them. She lost credibility, I guess? I dunno. I just didn't like how inconsistent her behaviors were.
The MMCs were just meh. There's 5 of them - Rowan, King, Zack, Ren, and Parker. Rowan stands out because he is the alpha of their little group, and Parker stands out because he is the omega. Other than that, they all kind of blend together and are essentially the same character. There is no differentiation between the 5 of them. They virtually all share the same personality. Also, we hear numerous times throughout the book about the color of Mia's eyes and hair and other physical characteristics about her. I couldn't describe one of those guys if I was put on the spot. One of them has dark hair with green streaks. Another one has piercings somewhere on his face. We get more descriptors about Rowans 'witchy friend' than we get of the guys.
It seemed like a lot of the stuff in this book was thrown in after the fact just to cover all the different tropes. Some stuff was added, seemingly at random, even if it was contradictory to things that had already happened. Sometimes the explanations were lazily added at some random point as if the author realized last minute where she may have 'oopsed' on something... There was just a bunch of stuff that, in my opinion, didn't make sense.
This book, in theory, sounded interesting. I mean interesting enough for me to download it and read it. Initially, I was really into it. I felt for the MC and wanted her to get her revenge and heal and do all the things. But by about the halfway point, I just started getting annoyed by her inconsistent behavior and all the random shit that started happening that didn't seem to make sense. Maybe it all gets wrapped up nicely in the 2nd book? Maybe I'm judging too harshly? I dunno. I really wanted to like it, but unfortunately, the author lost me after a while. I highly doubt I'll be reading book 2.
Mia has been kept locked up, like a prisoner, and made to be a servant to her 'parents' for the last 15ish years. She finds out that both of her parental units are going to be out of the house for the day, so she decides she's going to sneak into the backyard and steal a few moments in the sun; however, the neighbor sees her and reports what she thinks is child neglect or abuse to the authorities. Mia gets beaten, again, and then is told she is going to be enrolled in high school. Mia starts school and immediately meets her fated mates - Rowan, Parker, Kingston, Len, and Zack.
Overall, the story sounded intriguing - kidnapped MC is abused, meets her mates, finds out she came from a loving home, and eventually finds her way back. However, in reading this, I was often caught up on details that made absolutely no sense or what seemed like continuity issues. Some of the continuity stuff was addressed later in the book, almost as an afterthought (it seemed), but for most of the book it was something that, for me, was distracting from the story.
Initially, I liked Mia/Willow. She had it rough and she did what she could to survive. Then as she meets her mates and gets to know them, is where it gets a little weird for me. One second, she's scared of being reprimanded for something, and the next she's a sex kitten. She has a flashback about a time where she was nearly molested and then within the chapter she's sitting in someones lap essentially grinding on them. She lost credibility, I guess? I dunno. I just didn't like how inconsistent her behaviors were.
The MMCs were just meh. There's 5 of them - Rowan, King, Zack, Ren, and Parker. Rowan stands out because he is the alpha of their little group, and Parker stands out because he is the omega. Other than that, they all kind of blend together and are essentially the same character. There is no differentiation between the 5 of them. They virtually all share the same personality. Also, we hear numerous times throughout the book about the color of Mia's eyes and hair and other physical characteristics about her. I couldn't describe one of those guys if I was put on the spot. One of them has dark hair with green streaks. Another one has piercings somewhere on his face. We get more descriptors about Rowans 'witchy friend' than we get of the guys.
It seemed like a lot of the stuff in this book was thrown in after the fact just to cover all the different tropes. Some stuff was added, seemingly at random, even if it was contradictory to things that had already happened. Sometimes the explanations were lazily added at some random point as if the author realized last minute where she may have 'oopsed' on something... There was just a bunch of stuff that, in my opinion, didn't make sense.
This book, in theory, sounded interesting. I mean interesting enough for me to download it and read it. Initially, I was really into it. I felt for the MC and wanted her to get her revenge and heal and do all the things. But by about the halfway point, I just started getting annoyed by her inconsistent behavior and all the random shit that started happening that didn't seem to make sense. Maybe it all gets wrapped up nicely in the 2nd book? Maybe I'm judging too harshly? I dunno. I really wanted to like it, but unfortunately, the author lost me after a while. I highly doubt I'll be reading book 2.
November 2, 2021
Debut book from a new author. If you’re familiar with the indie author romance scene, especially PNR RH, this book will feel pretty familiar to you. It’s unique enough to be its own thing, but there are a lot of elements that are common in the genre.
There were some grammatical pet peeves that cropped up, in particular the overuse of things like “Rowan and I’s ___”. The plot also felt a bit rushed at times, sorta odd pacing. Some of the elements also felt inconsistent, not necessarily plot holes but just unanswered questions. There were a lot of ‘info dumps’ where the author would explain certain elements of the world building through conversations (like explaining the shifter dynamics and mating).
This is SUPER common with new authors, and I can imagine that as this author grows she will develop and hone this aspect of writing more.
A lot of authors in this genre tend to go kinda overboard with the shock factor elements, in particular abuse. This book is no exception… there is extreme abuse in this book both in present tense and past tense. I feel like this is a bit of an issue across the genre and authors continue to raise the bar. While I don’t have any triggers, I’m not really a fan of this trend of escalating these elements especially when the aftermath isn’t appropriately managed by the author. By this I mean, the level of trauma the FMC endured isn’t addressed in a realistic way by her reactions, recovery, socialization. In this case, she seems to really overcome a lot within about a week and gains a lot of sudden confidence without really doing any psych work to get there. I just don’t believe this. This is an extremely difficult subject for authors to get right, so I didn’t necessarily dock for this. I know a lot of people are fine with this stuff being glossed past, but I feel like she progressed too quickly to be believable.
My main issue isn’t really with this storyline or book, but rather the particular trope of kidnap victims that are held in captivity for their entire childhood. I’ve talked about this before in other reviews, but this is an EXTREMELY hard trope to write because it really requires the reader to suspend their disbelief. Our MC was kidnapped at 3 and never sent to school or socialized. There are things in the books that she is able to describe, identify, and know that just wouldn’t be possible if this were the case. I just can’t get over that part of the story. I will say this author actually does a better job than most do with managing this major challenge in this trope, but there are still moments of internal dialogue where I was like …how does she know what that is.
I think this author and this series are overall promising though! I think this was a very difficult story to write and considering it was a first book for the author I was pretty impressed by that. I look forward to seeing her develop as an author in the future
There were some grammatical pet peeves that cropped up, in particular the overuse of things like “Rowan and I’s ___”. The plot also felt a bit rushed at times, sorta odd pacing. Some of the elements also felt inconsistent, not necessarily plot holes but just unanswered questions. There were a lot of ‘info dumps’ where the author would explain certain elements of the world building through conversations (like explaining the shifter dynamics and mating).
This is SUPER common with new authors, and I can imagine that as this author grows she will develop and hone this aspect of writing more.
A lot of authors in this genre tend to go kinda overboard with the shock factor elements, in particular abuse. This book is no exception… there is extreme abuse in this book both in present tense and past tense. I feel like this is a bit of an issue across the genre and authors continue to raise the bar. While I don’t have any triggers, I’m not really a fan of this trend of escalating these elements especially when the aftermath isn’t appropriately managed by the author. By this I mean, the level of trauma the FMC endured isn’t addressed in a realistic way by her reactions, recovery, socialization. In this case, she seems to really overcome a lot within about a week and gains a lot of sudden confidence without really doing any psych work to get there. I just don’t believe this. This is an extremely difficult subject for authors to get right, so I didn’t necessarily dock for this. I know a lot of people are fine with this stuff being glossed past, but I feel like she progressed too quickly to be believable.
My main issue isn’t really with this storyline or book, but rather the particular trope of kidnap victims that are held in captivity for their entire childhood. I’ve talked about this before in other reviews, but this is an EXTREMELY hard trope to write because it really requires the reader to suspend their disbelief. Our MC was kidnapped at 3 and never sent to school or socialized. There are things in the books that she is able to describe, identify, and know that just wouldn’t be possible if this were the case. I just can’t get over that part of the story. I will say this author actually does a better job than most do with managing this major challenge in this trope, but there are still moments of internal dialogue where I was like …how does she know what that is.
I think this author and this series are overall promising though! I think this was a very difficult story to write and considering it was a first book for the author I was pretty impressed by that. I look forward to seeing her develop as an author in the future
August 14, 2023
A failure
This book was very poorly written. The world building was absolute crap, with a couple of info dumps that weren't very cohesive rather than actual storytelling. Mia's situation and reactions don't always match.... for someone with zero life experience and no common knowledge (supposedly) she knows way too much about sleeper piercings, gauging height, lingerie styles and slang. Either she was a captive with no exposure or she wasn't. The portrayal of her PTSD behaviour is inconsistent as well, like the author has never experienced anything like it but saw a movie about it once then tried to write about it. The relationship building was attempted but failed. There were also grammar issues, like incorrectly used homophones and apostrophes along with a few flat out wrong words. This book was, quite frankly, a hot mess. The author ended it on a wannabe cliffhanger, but even that wasn't written well. It's quite easy to see what happened and there's no real reason to continue reading. There was also no real reason to connect with the characters emotionally so I really don't care what happens next. I've added this author to my "Never Again" list and I'm mad I wasted my time on this book.
This book was very poorly written. The world building was absolute crap, with a couple of info dumps that weren't very cohesive rather than actual storytelling. Mia's situation and reactions don't always match.... for someone with zero life experience and no common knowledge (supposedly) she knows way too much about sleeper piercings, gauging height, lingerie styles and slang. Either she was a captive with no exposure or she wasn't. The portrayal of her PTSD behaviour is inconsistent as well, like the author has never experienced anything like it but saw a movie about it once then tried to write about it. The relationship building was attempted but failed. There were also grammar issues, like incorrectly used homophones and apostrophes along with a few flat out wrong words. This book was, quite frankly, a hot mess. The author ended it on a wannabe cliffhanger, but even that wasn't written well. It's quite easy to see what happened and there's no real reason to continue reading. There was also no real reason to connect with the characters emotionally so I really don't care what happens next. I've added this author to my "Never Again" list and I'm mad I wasted my time on this book.
September 17, 2021
Could have been better
While I did finish this book, it was nearly a dnf.
There was a lot of explaining, of basic things, where different words could have been used to not make it seem like an instruction manual.
I didn’t like how Mia seemed to be two entirely different people, not knowing how to act around people one minute, to suddenly being completely confident around the guys. It was very confusing. With some major editing and perhaps a small re-write, this book could go places. The plot was good, but it just didn’t quite work as well as it should have
While I did finish this book, it was nearly a dnf.
There was a lot of explaining, of basic things, where different words could have been used to not make it seem like an instruction manual.
I didn’t like how Mia seemed to be two entirely different people, not knowing how to act around people one minute, to suddenly being completely confident around the guys. It was very confusing. With some major editing and perhaps a small re-write, this book could go places. The plot was good, but it just didn’t quite work as well as it should have
November 26, 2021
This was so bad. The writing was horrible, the characters were two-dimensional, the characterization was all over the place, and the relationships were not well-developed at all.
Also, there was a really weird and slightly disturbing theme of the main character's mates being turned on when they notice how innocent she is. Mia felt extremely child-like many times throughout the book, and a lot of those times her mates would find it sexually arousing. There would be other times where Mia would be in pain or scared and her love interests would just comment on how they were trying to fight off an erection.
Overall, just really really bad.
Also, there was a really weird and slightly disturbing theme of the main character's mates being turned on when they notice how innocent she is. Mia felt extremely child-like many times throughout the book, and a lot of those times her mates would find it sexually arousing. There would be other times where Mia would be in pain or scared and her love interests would just comment on how they were trying to fight off an erection.
Overall, just really really bad.
November 7, 2021
She couldn't read or write and they sent her to school as a senior, yeah I'm sorry but you lost me after that.
January 3, 2022
Amazing!
I loved everything in this book! 😍 It kept engaged from the beginning til the end and I binged it in a day🙈😂
I have to say that recently I have a thing for broken FMC and totally dedicated and over protective guys😅
Mia, the FMC, lived (or survived) totally cut off from the world, slaved, and tortured by her parents (big trigger here!!!). One day, a neighbor noticed her and called the police, worried how bad she looked. Then Mia had to go to Highschool, pretending that everything is ok in her life. There she met five guys instantly concerned for her and ready to help her.
I loved how Mia was strong and resilient. Also it wasn't instalove with the guys, which is more realistic, but there was definitely a strong attraction between them and there was no assh*ole in the group! 👏🏼😊 Note that there is soft M/M as well.
The cliffhanger wasn't too much unnerving and I'm very interested reading what will happen in the next book!
I loved everything in this book! 😍 It kept engaged from the beginning til the end and I binged it in a day🙈😂
I have to say that recently I have a thing for broken FMC and totally dedicated and over protective guys😅
Mia, the FMC, lived (or survived) totally cut off from the world, slaved, and tortured by her parents (big trigger here!!!). One day, a neighbor noticed her and called the police, worried how bad she looked. Then Mia had to go to Highschool, pretending that everything is ok in her life. There she met five guys instantly concerned for her and ready to help her.
I loved how Mia was strong and resilient. Also it wasn't instalove with the guys, which is more realistic, but there was definitely a strong attraction between them and there was no assh*ole in the group! 👏🏼😊 Note that there is soft M/M as well.
The cliffhanger wasn't too much unnerving and I'm very interested reading what will happen in the next book!
January 14, 2022
DNF @ 50%
Quick synopsis of what I managed to read:
Mia is a horrifically mistreated teenage girl. She is abused and forced to serve her parents' every whim. One day, a neighbor see's her and it prompts a call to CPS. What follows in the laziest CPS check done by a solo police officer. Her parents claim they adopted her a year ago after a traumatic event. No paperwork is required to prove this. She is then sent to regular high school despite the fact that she can't read, write, or calculate. There she meets a group of guys she is instantly attracted to and they reveal she is actual a sort of shifter and they're true mates blahblahblah.
The author is incapable of writing emotionally complex situations and doesn't understand how people process trauma, so instead she just tortures the main character MORE to compensate. There is actual torture in this book, but its practically handwaved away afterwards. The main character is mute, and has been for years, until she abruptly isn't anymore. She was never educated and its explained that she cannot read nor write, but her vocabulary is normal. She is fed very little and multiple times we're told its been days since she last eaten, but no one describes her as thin or malnourished. The author is just incapable of making the trauma she's putting this character through have any ACTUAL effect on the story.
The guys she meets are your standard run of the mill romantic interests found in RH novels. Their backstories don't make a whole let of sense. At one point, its revealed they all moved there a year ago, but in another POV its implied they didn't know each other before hand, but happened to all move onto the same block at the same time and then instantly bond so completely they form a pack? Its confusing.
Things are explained in massive infodumps that are just a slog to read through.
Overall, this book reminded me a lot of the Reborn series by M. Sinclair. I didn't care for that series, but what I read of this book was even worse.
Quick synopsis of what I managed to read:
Mia is a horrifically mistreated teenage girl. She is abused and forced to serve her parents' every whim. One day, a neighbor see's her and it prompts a call to CPS. What follows in the laziest CPS check done by a solo police officer. Her parents claim they adopted her a year ago after a traumatic event. No paperwork is required to prove this. She is then sent to regular high school despite the fact that she can't read, write, or calculate. There she meets a group of guys she is instantly attracted to and they reveal she is actual a sort of shifter and they're true mates blahblahblah.
The author is incapable of writing emotionally complex situations and doesn't understand how people process trauma, so instead she just tortures the main character MORE to compensate. There is actual torture in this book, but its practically handwaved away afterwards. The main character is mute, and has been for years, until she abruptly isn't anymore. She was never educated and its explained that she cannot read nor write, but her vocabulary is normal. She is fed very little and multiple times we're told its been days since she last eaten, but no one describes her as thin or malnourished. The author is just incapable of making the trauma she's putting this character through have any ACTUAL effect on the story.
The guys she meets are your standard run of the mill romantic interests found in RH novels. Their backstories don't make a whole let of sense. At one point, its revealed they all moved there a year ago, but in another POV its implied they didn't know each other before hand, but happened to all move onto the same block at the same time and then instantly bond so completely they form a pack? Its confusing.
Things are explained in massive infodumps that are just a slog to read through.
Overall, this book reminded me a lot of the Reborn series by M. Sinclair. I didn't care for that series, but what I read of this book was even worse.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 10, 2021
10/10 would recommend. This is the first book in a new paranormal rh series,it checks off a few of my favorites right off the bat…1)multiple POV 2)multiple sexy shifter mates 3)a fmc that has the potential to become a real bad@$$ even though she’s been through some heavy stuff. 4)it didn’t end in some grand cliffhanger(that annoys me lol) even tho the baddie is out there still.
This story line really did keep my attention. I hope to find out more about her mates in the next book…and that it gets more steamy ;) book 1 is a slow burn as our fmc comes from a bad situation and isn’t ready for that. I did receive this as an ARC but all my options are my own.
This story line really did keep my attention. I hope to find out more about her mates in the next book…and that it gets more steamy ;) book 1 is a slow burn as our fmc comes from a bad situation and isn’t ready for that. I did receive this as an ARC but all my options are my own.
October 24, 2021
DNF at 45%
Started off pretty good, but around the 35% mark it’s like everything just changed. The female character practically became a different person, dumb plot holes, waaaaayyyyy too insta-love with the guys. Even the one she hadn’t talked to yet. Alpha, beta, gamma, and omega talk was so dumb.
Then it mentioned her going into “heat” and yeah. No. Gross.
Started off pretty good, but around the 35% mark it’s like everything just changed. The female character practically became a different person, dumb plot holes, waaaaayyyyy too insta-love with the guys. Even the one she hadn’t talked to yet. Alpha, beta, gamma, and omega talk was so dumb.
Then it mentioned her going into “heat” and yeah. No. Gross.
September 17, 2021
Mia has been emotionally and physically abused for 15 years. She knows that she had a different family for the first 3 years of her life, but now she lives in the basement and only goes upstairs to clean and cook for “Mother” and “Father.” There is a trigger warning for the abuse, which is described graphically in places.
I liked seeing Mia’s growth. She has an inner strength, although she has been beaten down. I loved that the guys were immediately there for her and supportive. There were a couple inconsistencies that pulled me out - such as her being a size 12 but being described as skinny/nearly emaciated. But overall, I’m excited to see where this series is going, and am excited to find a new author :)
I liked seeing Mia’s growth. She has an inner strength, although she has been beaten down. I loved that the guys were immediately there for her and supportive. There were a couple inconsistencies that pulled me out - such as her being a size 12 but being described as skinny/nearly emaciated. But overall, I’m excited to see where this series is going, and am excited to find a new author :)
February 15, 2022
This is my second RH book (first was Pack Darling, but I don't know if I have reviewed it yet), and I admit I liked this book much as I did because my medival brain was 🤯 after reading it. I don't know why I was so amazed by the concept of multiple partners. I mean, I have (obviously) heard about it before, but I didn't think it would have a decent plot.
It has a damaged character-- which is my NO. 1 TROPE.
All the male characters were so soft and sweet for her 🥺
I have read some parts of second book too, so I can say it's a pretty good series and you should definitely try it!
It has a damaged character-- which is my NO. 1 TROPE.
All the male characters were so soft and sweet for her 🥺
I have read some parts of second book too, so I can say it's a pretty good series and you should definitely try it!
March 6, 2022
So good
I really liked Mia’s story. She’s been through a lot for such a young age and she’s not bitter. She just wants to finally be able to live and I wanted the same for her.
I was not convinced by the school thing but it worked out in the end. I also appreciated how the guys were so understanding and supportive. They each have a distinct personality and play an important role in Mia’s life and growth.
I liked the plot and the mixture of supernaturals involved. The writing was good and kept me engaged with the story. I had a good time and I’m excited for book 2.
I really liked Mia’s story. She’s been through a lot for such a young age and she’s not bitter. She just wants to finally be able to live and I wanted the same for her.
I was not convinced by the school thing but it worked out in the end. I also appreciated how the guys were so understanding and supportive. They each have a distinct personality and play an important role in Mia’s life and growth.
I liked the plot and the mixture of supernaturals involved. The writing was good and kept me engaged with the story. I had a good time and I’m excited for book 2.
September 15, 2021
Author’s Book Baby
This is Anne Hall’s first book and I really enjoy where the story is going. There’s some dark elements to the story but also lots of love and kindness shown to Mia throughout. I look forward to reading the next book in the series. Congrats on your first book!
This is Anne Hall’s first book and I really enjoy where the story is going. There’s some dark elements to the story but also lots of love and kindness shown to Mia throughout. I look forward to reading the next book in the series. Congrats on your first book!
January 10, 2022
Good book
This is a good book. Has a great story line, it just doesn’t run like I think it should.
Spoil alert
1. From the abuse Mia goes through she kisses the boys shortly after meeting them. To me she should have gone slower, but maybe it’s because she’s near heat. Who knows.
2. Mia not reading writing or being able to do math has not been brought up. Thought the guys would help her with that. Give her some type of lessons.
3. She still doesn’t know what shifter they are?
I’m sure there is more I could go into, but like I said the story line is really good. Just seems like the book is being rushed.
This is a good book. Has a great story line, it just doesn’t run like I think it should.
Spoil alert
1. From the abuse Mia goes through she kisses the boys shortly after meeting them. To me she should have gone slower, but maybe it’s because she’s near heat. Who knows.
2. Mia not reading writing or being able to do math has not been brought up. Thought the guys would help her with that. Give her some type of lessons.
3. She still doesn’t know what shifter they are?
I’m sure there is more I could go into, but like I said the story line is really good. Just seems like the book is being rushed.
January 14, 2022
more more more
Sorry what!!
This is like holymoleypotatos amazing!! I haven’t read anything like this in quite a while. One of the best books I’ve read to date this year! Basically if you love anything by authors such as m Sinclair, indie black, A Rosetek you will love this!!
Sorry what!!
This is like holymoleypotatos amazing!! I haven’t read anything like this in quite a while. One of the best books I’ve read to date this year! Basically if you love anything by authors such as m Sinclair, indie black, A Rosetek you will love this!!
February 3, 2022
Zero ⭐️. Lot of writing mistakes and plot holes. It seems like the author picked popular topics but made them extreme just for shock value... - abuse: another level -> beat and burn the MC until her whole body scars. Special shifter - another level: lets add bat wings, deer horns, fox tails etc. Innocent MC - another level - the MC was never in a car, never saw the outdoors, doesn't know what mates are -> to me this makes the story sound predatory. She is innocent like a 3 year old child in her mind due to lack of interactions with the outside world. Physically she is also looks like a child because she was not fed and is described in beginning skeletal (emaciated). At one point in the storyline her chest hits a doorknob which implies her height. Now
lets give her some horny mates that get inappropriate erections when she has a PTSD episode. If someone looks and acts like a child this makes a disturbing storyline - how can you makes this a romance?!?! -->DNF!!
Mia was abused by her "parents" her whole life, she lives to serve them. She literally never interacted with anyone but her abusive parents. One day Mia steps outside and a neighbor sees her and calls cops/child services. A cop, Alpha, shows up sees that Mia is physically abused, knows she is lying when he asks her if she is treated well, knows her parents are lying BUT smirks when he realizes that Mia might be his son's mate. He literally just leaves and never does anything to help Mia even when she misses school for 7 days. In order to avoid getting into trouble with child services Mia's mother signs her up for school. So when Mia starts to attend the school it just doesn't add up. She is mute, can't read or write but she attends regular classes. After her first day Mia gets whipped at home for days. Nobody checks on her? One of her mates saw a flashback of her abuse and still he wasn't too concerned to check? What was the point of sending her to school? All the big talks happen in cafeteria. What about other students they just hear growling, screaming and not say anything. Storyline and story setting makes no sense. Her ribs are bruised/broken so when she shrugged her shoulders she ends up in pain but when she gets a bear hug no pain at all...
The males have no character, with the exception of Omega. He is the weakest one but also it seems the most protective. All the other males share the same personality.
From what I did read, I found the story to be heavily influenced by Sinclair's Reborn series. This books reminds of wattpad tween writers that "borrow" ideas from different authors and they they try make it their own by being extra....
lets give her some horny mates that get inappropriate erections when she has a PTSD episode. If someone looks and acts like a child this makes a disturbing storyline - how can you makes this a romance?!?! -->DNF!!
Mia was abused by her "parents" her whole life, she lives to serve them. She literally never interacted with anyone but her abusive parents. One day Mia steps outside and a neighbor sees her and calls cops/child services. A cop, Alpha, shows up sees that Mia is physically abused, knows she is lying when he asks her if she is treated well, knows her parents are lying BUT smirks when he realizes that Mia might be his son's mate. He literally just leaves and never does anything to help Mia even when she misses school for 7 days. In order to avoid getting into trouble with child services Mia's mother signs her up for school. So when Mia starts to attend the school it just doesn't add up. She is mute, can't read or write but she attends regular classes. After her first day Mia gets whipped at home for days. Nobody checks on her? One of her mates saw a flashback of her abuse and still he wasn't too concerned to check? What was the point of sending her to school? All the big talks happen in cafeteria. What about other students they just hear growling, screaming and not say anything. Storyline and story setting makes no sense. Her ribs are bruised/broken so when she shrugged her shoulders she ends up in pain but when she gets a bear hug no pain at all...
The males have no character, with the exception of Omega. He is the weakest one but also it seems the most protective. All the other males share the same personality.
From what I did read, I found the story to be heavily influenced by Sinclair's Reborn series. This books reminds of wattpad tween writers that "borrow" ideas from different authors and they they try make it their own by being extra....
April 18, 2022
this contains spoilers.
there's one thing that really confuses me, so brian, the police officer and Rowan's dad, calls Zack to let them know that pretend mom got to the Luna and Alpha before anyone else and convinced them that the boys were the ones that kidnapped Mia and turned her against them.... HOW???? Brian, Mr. Lopez, the police officer has all the evidence to refute those claims???!!!?! he's got the husband, pretend dad in lockup, he's got A VIDEO of mia explaining what pretend mom did, and pretend dad for that matter. a sketch has been made of her from mias recollection, pictures of the stitches from the torture she suffered.... So HOW....???? HOW THE FUCK, does something like that even happen. he's got all the evidence to refute every single claim, and he tells them to run??? what in the actual fuck? is he that bad of a police officer?? are they that bad of a luna/alpha pair? also adam was her childhood friend, literally there for the raid, saw her with the guys and knew why they were there. best friends with her brother, the son of the luna/alpha pair, his dad is the pack enforcer and you're telling me they did nothing do refute those claims with the shit ton of evidence they have? he didn't tell his dad or the sam, the brother, or the alpha/luna pair? so you've known for almost a week, where your best friends missing for 15 years, sister is, and you don't say anything to anyone????
also, how is she the beta female of the fucking pack and no one, and i do mean no one knows who she is? everyone should at least recognize her for being the beta female???? but no, she's this big mystery, no one knows who she is at all. like wtf?
there's one thing that really confuses me, so brian, the police officer and Rowan's dad, calls Zack to let them know that pretend mom got to the Luna and Alpha before anyone else and convinced them that the boys were the ones that kidnapped Mia and turned her against them.... HOW???? Brian, Mr. Lopez, the police officer has all the evidence to refute those claims???!!!?! he's got the husband, pretend dad in lockup, he's got A VIDEO of mia explaining what pretend mom did, and pretend dad for that matter. a sketch has been made of her from mias recollection, pictures of the stitches from the torture she suffered.... So HOW....???? HOW THE FUCK, does something like that even happen. he's got all the evidence to refute every single claim, and he tells them to run??? what in the actual fuck? is he that bad of a police officer?? are they that bad of a luna/alpha pair? also adam was her childhood friend, literally there for the raid, saw her with the guys and knew why they were there. best friends with her brother, the son of the luna/alpha pair, his dad is the pack enforcer and you're telling me they did nothing do refute those claims with the shit ton of evidence they have? he didn't tell his dad or the sam, the brother, or the alpha/luna pair? so you've known for almost a week, where your best friends missing for 15 years, sister is, and you don't say anything to anyone????
also, how is she the beta female of the fucking pack and no one, and i do mean no one knows who she is? everyone should at least recognize her for being the beta female???? but no, she's this big mystery, no one knows who she is at all. like wtf?
January 21, 2022
not realistic
**Spoilers** I really wanted to like this book. It has a great start, but as soon as Mia/Willow was rescued, it went downhill. Even slightly before. If these people were reported for abuse and then the kid is missing for a week, I think someone might go looking, especially if these guys were her mates. She speaks way too fluidly and fluently to be a prisoner with no education for 13 years, especially when she didn’t speak for that whole time, nor has been around anyone to learn these things. Also, watched television only a handful of times. She doesn’t know how to read but knows what g-spot is. She wants to get a job, but again, no education at all. She’s not really scared of the guys even though the only interaction she’s had with any males has been negative, to say the least. And the alpha. He’s ok but really not as dominating, protective or bossy as an alpha of a bonded pack would be, in my opinion. I actually did like the way she was leading up to the m/m component for the most part. I really think this could have been a good story, but these inconsistencies ruined it for me. I can’t enjoy a book if I’m constantly shaking my head.
**Spoilers** I really wanted to like this book. It has a great start, but as soon as Mia/Willow was rescued, it went downhill. Even slightly before. If these people were reported for abuse and then the kid is missing for a week, I think someone might go looking, especially if these guys were her mates. She speaks way too fluidly and fluently to be a prisoner with no education for 13 years, especially when she didn’t speak for that whole time, nor has been around anyone to learn these things. Also, watched television only a handful of times. She doesn’t know how to read but knows what g-spot is. She wants to get a job, but again, no education at all. She’s not really scared of the guys even though the only interaction she’s had with any males has been negative, to say the least. And the alpha. He’s ok but really not as dominating, protective or bossy as an alpha of a bonded pack would be, in my opinion. I actually did like the way she was leading up to the m/m component for the most part. I really think this could have been a good story, but these inconsistencies ruined it for me. I can’t enjoy a book if I’m constantly shaking my head.
September 12, 2021
This is the first book in a series and the first book of a new author for me and it didn't disappoint. I loved the shifter dynamic that Anne Hall has created. Mia has a rough childhood (there are triggers here) but she has her strength and determination to survive. I loved the addition of her mates and their unique take on shifter types with the alpha / beta /omega troupe elements. The story has lots of suspense and intrigue that I was glued to the pages. I loved watching Mia come into her own throughout the course of the story. That ending had me needing book two asap! This is an RH supernatural shifter book that will have your emotions gripping your heart while enjoying the sweet moments throughout. Fantastic start and I'm eager to see what happens next!
October 31, 2021
Not bad at all for a debut book, i liked the heroin Mia aka Willow and the guys. Ofc some more than the others, my favorite of the guys where probably Kingston.
I just thought it was so easily the luna believed a random woman or well the bitch. If it where me i would have put her in prison or something until i got all the information i had and need before making a decision. I got emotional at all the abuse Mia went thru until right now. There is a lot of secrets that is not told yet, thankfully it did not really end in a cliffhanger but it left us wanting more. I am excited to see the reunion with willows fam, her brother, childhood friends?, parents
Yes it´s a duology , so only one book left
I just thought it was so easily the luna believed a random woman or well the bitch. If it where me i would have put her in prison or something until i got all the information i had and need before making a decision. I got emotional at all the abuse Mia went thru until right now. There is a lot of secrets that is not told yet, thankfully it did not really end in a cliffhanger but it left us wanting more. I am excited to see the reunion with willows fam, her brother, childhood friends?, parents
Yes it´s a duology , so only one book left
September 10, 2021
Definite a must read!!!
I am honestly blown away by this book! It is amazing. My heart aches for Mia. The guys are amazing, Rowan, Ren, Kingston, Zach and Parker . Zach .and Parker are my favourite 😁
I did not want this book to end. I got so caught up in it. It can get quite dark at times and this is not for the faint hearted. I love the story. Can't wait for book 2. If you can get past the triggers then this is a book you do not want to miss!
I am honestly blown away by this book! It is amazing. My heart aches for Mia. The guys are amazing, Rowan, Ren, Kingston, Zach and Parker . Zach .and Parker are my favourite 😁
I did not want this book to end. I got so caught up in it. It can get quite dark at times and this is not for the faint hearted. I love the story. Can't wait for book 2. If you can get past the triggers then this is a book you do not want to miss!
September 9, 2021
This book is amazing. Such a great story line and different then all the other RH books out right. So refreshing Mia and her men will blow you away. I can't wait for book 2. Anne Hall will be a new favorite author to many. The world building and character work are so good. Loved this book!!
October 3, 2021
Snooze
DNF, made it 58% and was barely hanging on that long. I think there was potential but the author stayed superficial and never went deeper into the story line, feelings, reactions, etc. Nothing there to keep me interested
DNF, made it 58% and was barely hanging on that long. I think there was potential but the author stayed superficial and never went deeper into the story line, feelings, reactions, etc. Nothing there to keep me interested
October 4, 2021
SO much angst!! I was sucked in immediately, so... I will forgive the cliffhanger and race to read the next book. Her harem are the sweetest.
February 8, 2022
what!!!!!
Ok so first off Before I go into the problems here I want to state I actually really liked this story up until about half way. It went from yea this is good!!! Oh the drama!!! Such a good read, to what!!!!! are you serious!!!! No that wouldn’t happen, that’s not! No, why would you do that.
Now that’s out of the way, spoilers are plenty in this review!
Mia (Willow) however you call her, goes from mute, not talking or marking any noises at all since she was 8, later in the book it’s 7 or 8 (seems the author forgot) anyways, Mia goes from not making so much as a single noise even when being beaten within an inch of her life, or even until death. To full on talking constantly in great detail. Yea there are parts where she is being given water or orange juice and lines about how her voice is raspy. But come on, No, you don’t go from never talking to full blown life story in a matter of 1 paragraph. Sorry it destroyed the realism for me. Like bad, I get what the author was going for but there are so many alternatives.
Mia is starved for days or weeks on end, only being given scraps of food occasionally, she’s emaciated, she’s beyond skinny. Yet day 2 with the guys she’s eating 2 full sandwich’s back to back. Nah. I don’t think so, she would be full after half a sandwich for some time. Same thing with the bone broth and protein bars her “dad” fed her, maybe 1 probably not even though.
The size 12 thing got me, as I’m in the USA and a size 12 in jeans for women is I’d say a healthy size. I looked it up because it again ruined the realism for me, turns out a size 12 is 103lb to 121lb. Which I guess is a decent weight ration for someone that was I’ll fed and so on. Personally I think that’s actually a little high for the words emaciated to be used, but it really depends on a lot of other factors. This bothered me as I am 5.4 and in that weight range. I assure you I am very healthy. I am also a size 2. This is why this through me off so much. I’m explaining this out so any readers can understand I’m not taring the book apart for poops and giggles I’m just trying to let others know why things were not realistic in my eyes.
Mia Bella Rose, it’s a pretty name but seriously, they kid nap this girl and bam supper beautiful name. The lady who kid napped her and abused her from 3 to nearly 18, who despised this port girl, Decided to rename this girl that she hates, Mia Bella Rose. Sorry don’t believe it, strike 2 on destroying the realism.
Mia is Illiterate, this makes sense, I’m with you. She was a slave her entire life, and locked in a basement. Realism, I like it. Until it turns out nobody cares. Doesn’t matter, no one’s looked into it, stumbled upon it nothing. Nah it’s cool you will never need to know how to read write or do basic arithmetic. Mia has 5 big strong shifter men to do all of that for her. Come on, a simple one line stating they catch on, and another line later stating one of them is going to help her.
What’s going on with her credentials, did we forget you need to have paperwork to enroll is school, senior year on top of that, transcripts maybe?
This gets me to no end when authors do this type of thing to make the characters more developed or to change the story process. Her “Guys” are all older, 20-21ish graduated years ago and work for the pack. Even though they were in high school her starting day. No set up for this! No hints to them being older or more! They are Doing top secret things for the pack. That they can’t talk to their illiterate mate about! Ok we got some 21 jump street vibes going on here! To often this gets used in other books of the like. If done right it can work, this wasn’t and it’s like a big unveiled secret at the end. Again realism destroyed!
she died at one point or at least that’s what we are to believe. Are we just not gonna go into this?????? Did I miss something. This seems pretty big to me! Hello story!
Mia is going to go into heat in about a month in a half due to her birthday and the coming of age 18, first heat! When she’s informed about this they say once a year, well later when she’s getting heat flashes that her mates are to ignorant to figure out. Mia goes into a back story of this happening 6 months ago, guess what all the noises she use to make then as well. Well is it at random, every 6 months or once a year, I’m confused!
Also can we go into the fact of a traumatized abuse victim just deciding to masturbate in the shower the day after her rescue. oh turns out she use to masturbate a lot when she was being abused and starved. Makes sense. I know nothing gets my knickers wet like being starved and beaten within an inch of my life.
I have so much more but have ran out of space. Anyways I finished the read and am currently debating on reading the next book. I am curious to figure out this whole bonded bow thing and demonic Kitsune is bad ass. The book has potential, the author did a decent job hence the 3 stars. I just expect more from stories like this
Ok so first off Before I go into the problems here I want to state I actually really liked this story up until about half way. It went from yea this is good!!! Oh the drama!!! Such a good read, to what!!!!! are you serious!!!! No that wouldn’t happen, that’s not! No, why would you do that.
Now that’s out of the way, spoilers are plenty in this review!
Mia (Willow) however you call her, goes from mute, not talking or marking any noises at all since she was 8, later in the book it’s 7 or 8 (seems the author forgot) anyways, Mia goes from not making so much as a single noise even when being beaten within an inch of her life, or even until death. To full on talking constantly in great detail. Yea there are parts where she is being given water or orange juice and lines about how her voice is raspy. But come on, No, you don’t go from never talking to full blown life story in a matter of 1 paragraph. Sorry it destroyed the realism for me. Like bad, I get what the author was going for but there are so many alternatives.
Mia is starved for days or weeks on end, only being given scraps of food occasionally, she’s emaciated, she’s beyond skinny. Yet day 2 with the guys she’s eating 2 full sandwich’s back to back. Nah. I don’t think so, she would be full after half a sandwich for some time. Same thing with the bone broth and protein bars her “dad” fed her, maybe 1 probably not even though.
The size 12 thing got me, as I’m in the USA and a size 12 in jeans for women is I’d say a healthy size. I looked it up because it again ruined the realism for me, turns out a size 12 is 103lb to 121lb. Which I guess is a decent weight ration for someone that was I’ll fed and so on. Personally I think that’s actually a little high for the words emaciated to be used, but it really depends on a lot of other factors. This bothered me as I am 5.4 and in that weight range. I assure you I am very healthy. I am also a size 2. This is why this through me off so much. I’m explaining this out so any readers can understand I’m not taring the book apart for poops and giggles I’m just trying to let others know why things were not realistic in my eyes.
Mia Bella Rose, it’s a pretty name but seriously, they kid nap this girl and bam supper beautiful name. The lady who kid napped her and abused her from 3 to nearly 18, who despised this port girl, Decided to rename this girl that she hates, Mia Bella Rose. Sorry don’t believe it, strike 2 on destroying the realism.
Mia is Illiterate, this makes sense, I’m with you. She was a slave her entire life, and locked in a basement. Realism, I like it. Until it turns out nobody cares. Doesn’t matter, no one’s looked into it, stumbled upon it nothing. Nah it’s cool you will never need to know how to read write or do basic arithmetic. Mia has 5 big strong shifter men to do all of that for her. Come on, a simple one line stating they catch on, and another line later stating one of them is going to help her.
What’s going on with her credentials, did we forget you need to have paperwork to enroll is school, senior year on top of that, transcripts maybe?
This gets me to no end when authors do this type of thing to make the characters more developed or to change the story process. Her “Guys” are all older, 20-21ish graduated years ago and work for the pack. Even though they were in high school her starting day. No set up for this! No hints to them being older or more! They are Doing top secret things for the pack. That they can’t talk to their illiterate mate about! Ok we got some 21 jump street vibes going on here! To often this gets used in other books of the like. If done right it can work, this wasn’t and it’s like a big unveiled secret at the end. Again realism destroyed!
she died at one point or at least that’s what we are to believe. Are we just not gonna go into this?????? Did I miss something. This seems pretty big to me! Hello story!
Mia is going to go into heat in about a month in a half due to her birthday and the coming of age 18, first heat! When she’s informed about this they say once a year, well later when she’s getting heat flashes that her mates are to ignorant to figure out. Mia goes into a back story of this happening 6 months ago, guess what all the noises she use to make then as well. Well is it at random, every 6 months or once a year, I’m confused!
Also can we go into the fact of a traumatized abuse victim just deciding to masturbate in the shower the day after her rescue. oh turns out she use to masturbate a lot when she was being abused and starved. Makes sense. I know nothing gets my knickers wet like being starved and beaten within an inch of my life.
I have so much more but have ran out of space. Anyways I finished the read and am currently debating on reading the next book. I am curious to figure out this whole bonded bow thing and demonic Kitsune is bad ass. The book has potential, the author did a decent job hence the 3 stars. I just expect more from stories like this
February 29, 2024
I really liked the idea of this story. The plot was interesting. I liked Mia's character and I was very interested to see how she overcomes her trauma. I didn't really feel one way or another about the guys. I DNFed this story at 61% for a few reasons:
- The writing style. I was not into it. It reads similar to those pay to read apps like Dreame. It wasn't horrible, but at the same time I didn't find it enjoyable to read.
- The approach to shifters. I absolutely hate stories that give the animal in their head a separate cringey name. I didn't find out what the guys named theirs, but I second I saw her inner animal getting the name "Vixen" I began to check out. I also didn't care for the designations within a bonded pack. Mainly because there are also designations to the pack itself so it's a pack within a pack.
- The huge info dump mid-story. Jesus, this was painful.. and too much at once. Basically Rowan gives this huge explanation of what shifters are and we just get huge bricks of text where he's basically doing the (lazy) world building. This scene wouldn't have been nearly as bad if it was an actual conversation between characters where Mia/Willow was actually asking questions so it didn't just seem like Rowan was giving her a lecture on shifters.
- The weird sexual tension in situations that were not appropriate. They just saw Mia's emaciated, scarred, and abused body moments ago and then she's near Parker and he's popping wood. Wtf how can you even be sexually interested in her when she's probably skin and bones with open wounds on her back?? Shouldn't their concern for her well being trump and sexual attraction? They should be so sick to their stomach and angry that their mate was treated this way that sexual interest is the furthest thing from their mind. This happens with a few of the guys and it made me feel weird. I have seen this in other stories and my only explanation for this was to make it clear to the readers that the guys want her no matter what? I don't know, it just felt inappropriate. I have to remind myself that they are also teenagers (18 years old) so I guess they may not be as in control of themselves.
- Mia's background. I liked her character, but I hated the reveal of what type of shifter she is and I also found it weird that she was able to express herself so clearly... She can't read, can't write, doesn't know any math, and hasn't talked in 10 years. Just seems like her vocabulary was pretty big for someone who shouldn't know many words. We got a flashback to when she was 3 years old, but she didn't talk like a normal 3 year old. So that flashback felt off.
I feel bad ragging on the story. There were other minor things that bothered me, but I didn't want to get super nitpicky. I recognize most of things I had issue with are personal preference so what I didn't like others may like. I don't wish any ill will on the author. I think she needs more experience and a better editor, but I really was interested in the idea of the story that was presented... I just wish that it was presented by someone who could have formed it better. What we got was just too unpolished. This story just isn't for me and there's nothing wrong with that. Might give the author another chance down the road, but for now I'm not going to read anything else by her.
- The writing style. I was not into it. It reads similar to those pay to read apps like Dreame. It wasn't horrible, but at the same time I didn't find it enjoyable to read.
- The approach to shifters. I absolutely hate stories that give the animal in their head a separate cringey name. I didn't find out what the guys named theirs, but I second I saw her inner animal getting the name "Vixen" I began to check out. I also didn't care for the designations within a bonded pack. Mainly because there are also designations to the pack itself so it's a pack within a pack.
- The huge info dump mid-story. Jesus, this was painful.. and too much at once. Basically Rowan gives this huge explanation of what shifters are and we just get huge bricks of text where he's basically doing the (lazy) world building. This scene wouldn't have been nearly as bad if it was an actual conversation between characters where Mia/Willow was actually asking questions so it didn't just seem like Rowan was giving her a lecture on shifters.
- The weird sexual tension in situations that were not appropriate. They just saw Mia's emaciated, scarred, and abused body moments ago and then she's near Parker and he's popping wood. Wtf how can you even be sexually interested in her when she's probably skin and bones with open wounds on her back?? Shouldn't their concern for her well being trump and sexual attraction? They should be so sick to their stomach and angry that their mate was treated this way that sexual interest is the furthest thing from their mind. This happens with a few of the guys and it made me feel weird. I have seen this in other stories and my only explanation for this was to make it clear to the readers that the guys want her no matter what? I don't know, it just felt inappropriate. I have to remind myself that they are also teenagers (18 years old) so I guess they may not be as in control of themselves.
- Mia's background. I liked her character, but I hated the reveal of what type of shifter she is and I also found it weird that she was able to express herself so clearly... She can't read, can't write, doesn't know any math, and hasn't talked in 10 years. Just seems like her vocabulary was pretty big for someone who shouldn't know many words. We got a flashback to when she was 3 years old, but she didn't talk like a normal 3 year old. So that flashback felt off.
I feel bad ragging on the story. There were other minor things that bothered me, but I didn't want to get super nitpicky. I recognize most of things I had issue with are personal preference so what I didn't like others may like. I don't wish any ill will on the author. I think she needs more experience and a better editor, but I really was interested in the idea of the story that was presented... I just wish that it was presented by someone who could have formed it better. What we got was just too unpolished. This story just isn't for me and there's nothing wrong with that. Might give the author another chance down the road, but for now I'm not going to read anything else by her.
July 17, 2022
Held as a captive her entire life by her "mother and father", Mia has known pain, isolation, degradation, and servitude. A chance sighting opened up her world. Allowed out for high school she meets a group of boys who quickly bring her into their circle as one of their own. Parker, Zack, Ren, Kingston, and Rowan recognize her as their mate but Mia doesn't even realize she's not human. How are they supposed to make her theirs when they don't even know how to keep her safe?
This story is underdeveloped. The history, the characters, the relationships, and the PTSD are all superficial. Mia had been tortured for nearly 15 years. 15 years. She would be paralyzed in normal life. There would be no snuggling or worse, grinding. She would be terrified of humanity and wouldn't get over it in a week with no help. She is severely malnourished. Her body, even if supernatural, wouldn't bounce back overnight. She has no clothes, and it was unrealistic to imagine she could keep the guy's boxers up. She can't read or write and no one ever had a conversation about it or offered to help her. She was horribly scarred and no one mentioned it. Really?? She just sat on their laps, napped, ate, and got aroused. Does anyone else find this ridiculous? I also need to address her "mother". Stop reading now if you are worried about a potential spoiler, because I may give away too much with my rant.
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So the big reveal of the true identity of Mia's "mother" The sadistic torturer who kidnapped and tortured her for 15 years is the best friend of her birth mother? So, we are expected to believe for 15 years, she lives in another 'realm' with a secret family to abuse her daughter. What kind of best friend are you if your friend disappears everyday or she doesn't tell you she adopted a child? How does she keep the secret family hidden from you? I think we are being asked to suspend reality too much here. I get wanting to have a big plot twist, but the villain can't be someone supposedly super close in this instance. Then when her real parents found out she was alive, they decided on a meeting 3 days later? What? No parent would be willing to wait 3 hours. Finally, the boys aren't high schoolers at all but are older and working a job? Oops, forgot to mention that. GAH!
The actual writing needs polishing and the story needs research and development. It needs another run-through editing once the story is fixed. Decide on your story, then flesh out the details. Add layers and depth. Build real characters. If your character is severely traumatized and has PTSD, don't cut corners. It's not a good plot device if you are going to ignore it. As someone who works with patients with PTSD, I found it insulting and so poorly done it was frankly, stupid. If your character is the Alpha and feels like he is floundering, do more than tell us, show us. We want to get lost in a story. We want to feel the emotions. Don't just give us a basic plotline.
This story is underdeveloped. The history, the characters, the relationships, and the PTSD are all superficial. Mia had been tortured for nearly 15 years. 15 years. She would be paralyzed in normal life. There would be no snuggling or worse, grinding. She would be terrified of humanity and wouldn't get over it in a week with no help. She is severely malnourished. Her body, even if supernatural, wouldn't bounce back overnight. She has no clothes, and it was unrealistic to imagine she could keep the guy's boxers up. She can't read or write and no one ever had a conversation about it or offered to help her. She was horribly scarred and no one mentioned it. Really?? She just sat on their laps, napped, ate, and got aroused. Does anyone else find this ridiculous? I also need to address her "mother". Stop reading now if you are worried about a potential spoiler, because I may give away too much with my rant.
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So the big reveal of the true identity of Mia's "mother" The sadistic torturer who kidnapped and tortured her for 15 years is the best friend of her birth mother? So, we are expected to believe for 15 years, she lives in another 'realm' with a secret family to abuse her daughter. What kind of best friend are you if your friend disappears everyday or she doesn't tell you she adopted a child? How does she keep the secret family hidden from you? I think we are being asked to suspend reality too much here. I get wanting to have a big plot twist, but the villain can't be someone supposedly super close in this instance. Then when her real parents found out she was alive, they decided on a meeting 3 days later? What? No parent would be willing to wait 3 hours. Finally, the boys aren't high schoolers at all but are older and working a job? Oops, forgot to mention that. GAH!
The actual writing needs polishing and the story needs research and development. It needs another run-through editing once the story is fixed. Decide on your story, then flesh out the details. Add layers and depth. Build real characters. If your character is severely traumatized and has PTSD, don't cut corners. It's not a good plot device if you are going to ignore it. As someone who works with patients with PTSD, I found it insulting and so poorly done it was frankly, stupid. If your character is the Alpha and feels like he is floundering, do more than tell us, show us. We want to get lost in a story. We want to feel the emotions. Don't just give us a basic plotline.
October 19, 2022
It's a solid 'ok'.
So I loved, loved, loved the communication between her and her guys. They straight up tell her what's going on and don't purposefully keep information from her. They give her space and help her when she spirals. They help her learn to be a person.
This is neither good nor bad but the book very much reminded me of the kind of fanfics I'd read as a teenager, beautiful but tortured heroine with guys fawning over her who is rescued from her terrible situation and is perfect at everything she does. Even her animal, a demonic kitsune, sounds like someone's oc off of deviantART.
It hit the nostalgic part of me well enough to enjoy it but I know people might not appreciate this.
Obviously there are issues with the book.
The book is in dire need of editing. Sometimes you'll see different people speaking dialogue in the same paragraph which is very confusing. Sentences would repeat the same words, a minor thing but I felt this could have easily been prevented with a little work.
Heroine has been through extreme abuse and torture, yet somehow is completely fine climbing all over the boys because they're her ~fated mates~. It just made her trauma feel... shallow? I'm unsure what word to use here but I would have liked to have seen them work with her towards feeling comfortable with touching them.
It's mentioned once or twice that she's emaciated and underweight, yet somehow the boys are talking about how sexy she is? It felt very uncomfortable and harmful. Save the 'she's so sexy' for when she's a normal, healthy weight.
The plot is pretty all over the place.
I don't know why she had to meet the boys in highschool because there are just so many flaws to this idea. How did her abuser even get her in there when she can't read or write? You'd think after having the forethought to hide the heroine for this long that they'd think of how to prevent her from outing herself as illiterate and there being something wrong.
The highschool aspect of the plot is forgotten almost immediately, is the school not concerned that she was there for a few days and then just... what?
Two of the biggest problems I had were that
1. she's a white girl and yet somehow a kitsune? A mythological creature of Japanese folklore? We have enough interesting mythological creatures in western cultures, there's no need to go appropriating.
2. She can somehow learn fighting techniques by watching someone a few times and then execute the moves perfectly. Come on, make her work for it.
So I loved, loved, loved the communication between her and her guys. They straight up tell her what's going on and don't purposefully keep information from her. They give her space and help her when she spirals. They help her learn to be a person.
This is neither good nor bad but the book very much reminded me of the kind of fanfics I'd read as a teenager, beautiful but tortured heroine with guys fawning over her who is rescued from her terrible situation and is perfect at everything she does. Even her animal, a demonic kitsune, sounds like someone's oc off of deviantART.
It hit the nostalgic part of me well enough to enjoy it but I know people might not appreciate this.
Obviously there are issues with the book.
The book is in dire need of editing. Sometimes you'll see different people speaking dialogue in the same paragraph which is very confusing. Sentences would repeat the same words, a minor thing but I felt this could have easily been prevented with a little work.
Heroine has been through extreme abuse and torture, yet somehow is completely fine climbing all over the boys because they're her ~fated mates~. It just made her trauma feel... shallow? I'm unsure what word to use here but I would have liked to have seen them work with her towards feeling comfortable with touching them.
It's mentioned once or twice that she's emaciated and underweight, yet somehow the boys are talking about how sexy she is? It felt very uncomfortable and harmful. Save the 'she's so sexy' for when she's a normal, healthy weight.
The plot is pretty all over the place.
I don't know why she had to meet the boys in highschool because there are just so many flaws to this idea. How did her abuser even get her in there when she can't read or write? You'd think after having the forethought to hide the heroine for this long that they'd think of how to prevent her from outing herself as illiterate and there being something wrong.
The highschool aspect of the plot is forgotten almost immediately, is the school not concerned that she was there for a few days and then just... what?
Two of the biggest problems I had were that
1. she's a white girl and yet somehow a kitsune? A mythological creature of Japanese folklore? We have enough interesting mythological creatures in western cultures, there's no need to go appropriating.
2. She can somehow learn fighting techniques by watching someone a few times and then execute the moves perfectly. Come on, make her work for it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 8, 2022
I am totally into a broken character grows OP arc and fated mates is one of my top 3 favorite reads. Those things are the only reason I didn't give this a 2 or lower.
It started out good, psycho mom, who apparently lives to abuse the FMC, dad who can't or won't help but from the second the FMC Mia is discovered it gets more and more implausible.
Neighbor reports severely abused, scarred child with obvious signs of neglect and CPS calls to warn the parents that not only has a report against them been made, but that they will do a check in a few days for then? Trained cop that does the check-in clocks the lack of her scent in her supposed bedroom but didn't wonder why the whole house is bathed in scent blocker or doesn't ask for a single bit of proof that the kid has been adopted, let alone homeschooled records (which must be recorded with the state) or the name of the therapist she's allegedly been seeing?
Then she goes missing for 7 damn days and he never shows up to verify that she is safe or unharmed??
Next you have a FMC who is mute for decades, almost immediately begin speaking with little to no strain. She can't read, write or do math beyond timing things out but instead of focusing on working on that and giving her agency, we begin fight training a malnourished girl and setting up a 'heat' cycle. This does not make her feel like a real, valued member of the group.
Bam suddenly the boys aren't highschoolers but older and on some clandestine mission.
There was enough good there that I'm going to give the next book a shot, but I wanted to review so that other readers wouldn't go in blind like I did.
It started out good, psycho mom, who apparently lives to abuse the FMC, dad who can't or won't help but from the second the FMC Mia is discovered it gets more and more implausible.
Neighbor reports severely abused, scarred child with obvious signs of neglect and CPS calls to warn the parents that not only has a report against them been made, but that they will do a check in a few days for then? Trained cop that does the check-in clocks the lack of her scent in her supposed bedroom but didn't wonder why the whole house is bathed in scent blocker or doesn't ask for a single bit of proof that the kid has been adopted, let alone homeschooled records (which must be recorded with the state) or the name of the therapist she's allegedly been seeing?
Then she goes missing for 7 damn days and he never shows up to verify that she is safe or unharmed??
Next you have a FMC who is mute for decades, almost immediately begin speaking with little to no strain. She can't read, write or do math beyond timing things out but instead of focusing on working on that and giving her agency, we begin fight training a malnourished girl and setting up a 'heat' cycle. This does not make her feel like a real, valued member of the group.
Bam suddenly the boys aren't highschoolers but older and on some clandestine mission.
There was enough good there that I'm going to give the next book a shot, but I wanted to review so that other readers wouldn't go in blind like I did.
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