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Deaf Utopia: A Memoir—and a Love Letter to a Way of Life
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
A heartfelt and inspiring memoir and celebration of Deaf culture by Nyle DiMarco, actor, producer, two-time reality show winner, and cultural icon of the international Deaf community
Before becoming the actor, producer, advocate, and model that people know today, Nyle DiMarco was half of a pair of Deaf twins born to a multi-generational Deaf family in Queens, New York. At the hospital one day after he was born, Nyle "failed" his first test--a hearing test--to the joy and excitement of his parents.
In this engrossing memoir, Nyle shares stories, both heartbreaking and humorous, of what it means to navigate a world built for hearing people. From growing up in a rough-and-tumble childhood in Queens with his big and loving Italian-American family to where he is now, Nyle has always been driven to explore beyond the boundaries given him. A college math major and athlete at Gallaudet--the famed university for the Deaf in Washington, DC--Nyle was drawn as a young man to acting, and dove headfirst into the reality show competitions America's Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars--ultimately winning both competitions.
Deaf Utopia is more than a memoir, it is a cultural anthem--a proud and defiant song of Deaf culture and a love letter to American Sign Language, Nyle's primary language. Through his stories and those of his Deaf brothers, parents, and grandparents, Nyle opens many windows into the Deaf experience.
Deaf Utopia is intimate, suspenseful, hilarious, eye-opening, and smart--both a memoir and a celebration of what makes Deaf culture unique and beautiful.
A heartfelt and inspiring memoir and celebration of Deaf culture by Nyle DiMarco, actor, producer, two-time reality show winner, and cultural icon of the international Deaf community
Before becoming the actor, producer, advocate, and model that people know today, Nyle DiMarco was half of a pair of Deaf twins born to a multi-generational Deaf family in Queens, New York. At the hospital one day after he was born, Nyle "failed" his first test--a hearing test--to the joy and excitement of his parents.
In this engrossing memoir, Nyle shares stories, both heartbreaking and humorous, of what it means to navigate a world built for hearing people. From growing up in a rough-and-tumble childhood in Queens with his big and loving Italian-American family to where he is now, Nyle has always been driven to explore beyond the boundaries given him. A college math major and athlete at Gallaudet--the famed university for the Deaf in Washington, DC--Nyle was drawn as a young man to acting, and dove headfirst into the reality show competitions America's Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars--ultimately winning both competitions.
Deaf Utopia is more than a memoir, it is a cultural anthem--a proud and defiant song of Deaf culture and a love letter to American Sign Language, Nyle's primary language. Through his stories and those of his Deaf brothers, parents, and grandparents, Nyle opens many windows into the Deaf experience.
Deaf Utopia is intimate, suspenseful, hilarious, eye-opening, and smart--both a memoir and a celebration of what makes Deaf culture unique and beautiful.
331 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 5, 2022
396 people are currently reading
9438 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,012 reviews
July 1, 2025
this is my sister's boyfriend's mom's celebrity crush's memoir. and that's why i read it!
this book actually provided more insight into the Deaf experience than anything else i've read ever. it was enlightening and cute and fun without glossing over things or going easy on people.
i loved the first half of this the most, writing about growing up in a Deaf family, and i didn't love the back half as much, when it was synopses of reality television episodes, but overall this was SO MUCH better than i thought it would be. kind of a slay for low expectations.
bottom line: rare win for celebrity memoir!
this book actually provided more insight into the Deaf experience than anything else i've read ever. it was enlightening and cute and fun without glossing over things or going easy on people.
i loved the first half of this the most, writing about growing up in a Deaf family, and i didn't love the back half as much, when it was synopses of reality television episodes, but overall this was SO MUCH better than i thought it would be. kind of a slay for low expectations.
bottom line: rare win for celebrity memoir!
May 10, 2022
4 stars
Deaf Utopia is the personal memoir of Nyle DiMarco, a cultural icon of the Deaf community. He rose to fame after winning two reality show competitions America’s Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars. Deaf Utopia is a glimpse into his life up to this point (DiMarco is still very young, in his early thirties) and it is a love letter to Deaf culture and American Sign Language.
I honestly can’t remember where I first heard of DiMarco, I didn’t watch his season of ANTM or DwtS, but I do recognize him as a famous celebrity. My mom is a coda, so anything to do with Deaf culture or ASL in books I am eager and happy to read so I picked up the audiobook version of this from my local library. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to DiMarco’s life and experiences, mostly his childhood and the antics and pranks he and his siblings and friends participated in over the years.
While I didn’t watch ANTM during DiMarco’s cycle, I was an avid watcher of the earlier years so I understood the format of the show and enjoyed learning more about Nyle’s experience. I definitely want to watch his season now that I’ve read about it. Same with DwtS I’ve seen other seasons of the show so I understand the format and also enjoyed those chapters. I do think there’s a lot that hearing people can learn from this book, that people can be more respectful of how they treat others they perceive to be different from them. Sometimes the book got a little bit repetitive but overall I really enjoyed and I hope more people pick up this book and read it. And I hope to see more from the author in the future, whether it be writing or film or more.
Deaf Utopia is the personal memoir of Nyle DiMarco, a cultural icon of the Deaf community. He rose to fame after winning two reality show competitions America’s Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars. Deaf Utopia is a glimpse into his life up to this point (DiMarco is still very young, in his early thirties) and it is a love letter to Deaf culture and American Sign Language.
I honestly can’t remember where I first heard of DiMarco, I didn’t watch his season of ANTM or DwtS, but I do recognize him as a famous celebrity. My mom is a coda, so anything to do with Deaf culture or ASL in books I am eager and happy to read so I picked up the audiobook version of this from my local library. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to DiMarco’s life and experiences, mostly his childhood and the antics and pranks he and his siblings and friends participated in over the years.
While I didn’t watch ANTM during DiMarco’s cycle, I was an avid watcher of the earlier years so I understood the format of the show and enjoyed learning more about Nyle’s experience. I definitely want to watch his season now that I’ve read about it. Same with DwtS I’ve seen other seasons of the show so I understand the format and also enjoyed those chapters. I do think there’s a lot that hearing people can learn from this book, that people can be more respectful of how they treat others they perceive to be different from them. Sometimes the book got a little bit repetitive but overall I really enjoyed and I hope more people pick up this book and read it. And I hope to see more from the author in the future, whether it be writing or film or more.
July 10, 2022
I had no idea who Nyle was when this book was recommended to me. A friend who teaches ASL mentioned this book when she learned I have a novel with a Deaf character coming out. She told me I needed to read this book and told me a little about Nyle. I ordered the book and started reading right away. Nyle's way of telling his story is entertaining and heartfelt. While the parts about the reality shows didn't mean much to me since I don't watch those, his sharing of his personal experience as a Deaf contestant during those was very honest. At times, I could feel his frustration with their lack of understanding and accountability for his experience.
I was especially touched by his openness in sharing his journey and struggle to bring his sexual identity to light. Nyle is an open book and determined to create a safe space for both the Deaf and LGBTQ communities. This book was a window into a world most of us never experience and shows that being Deaf is a beautiful culture. Highly recommended!
I was especially touched by his openness in sharing his journey and struggle to bring his sexual identity to light. Nyle is an open book and determined to create a safe space for both the Deaf and LGBTQ communities. This book was a window into a world most of us never experience and shows that being Deaf is a beautiful culture. Highly recommended!
July 6, 2022
I've got to give props to Nyle DiMarco. I literally paused the audiobook halfway to binge-watch the entire season 22 of America's Next Top Model out of curiosity. Well-done.
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As far as celebrity memoirs go, this book isn't too revolutionary or impressive. However, I will say that Deaf Utopia serves as an excellent introduction into the Deaf community and their culture. It's a valuable, non-intimidating read that may be a little too repetitive (at times) but also highlights great points on inclusivity, ASL as a real language, and everyone's right to accessible communication.
There are numerous limitations with this memoir, especially since a lot of it is anchored to Nyle DiMarco's experiences on reality TV. While I personally enjoyed the behind-the-scenes tidbits regarding both shows (America's Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars), I can understand other reviewers' criticism on the book's choppiness in writing and limited depth in certain discussions or arguments made in the text. However, I think that these flaws were heavily outweighed by DiMarco's enthusiasm, optimism, and unwavering, heartfelt commitment to the Deaf community. He's done amazing, awe-inspiring work and continues to do so.
My only reservation with this book is that, in questioning and exploring his sexuality, there are a few offhand comments made in the text that require further inspection and may be jarring to queer readers. I personally didn't find them to be problematic or harmful, but I do believe that prospective queer consumers deserve a quick heads up.
At the end of the day, this isn't academic writing - and I don't think that this book's intention is to provide readers with a graduate degree in Deafness and Deaf Inclusivity. (Marginalized folks don't exist to educate, btw.) Instead, as clearly explained by the title, Deaf Utopia is very much a love letter - and an endearingly genuine one at that.
Recommended with caution.
🌻🍃 More bookish content on Shut up, Shealea 🍃🌻
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As far as celebrity memoirs go, this book isn't too revolutionary or impressive. However, I will say that Deaf Utopia serves as an excellent introduction into the Deaf community and their culture. It's a valuable, non-intimidating read that may be a little too repetitive (at times) but also highlights great points on inclusivity, ASL as a real language, and everyone's right to accessible communication.
There are numerous limitations with this memoir, especially since a lot of it is anchored to Nyle DiMarco's experiences on reality TV. While I personally enjoyed the behind-the-scenes tidbits regarding both shows (America's Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars), I can understand other reviewers' criticism on the book's choppiness in writing and limited depth in certain discussions or arguments made in the text. However, I think that these flaws were heavily outweighed by DiMarco's enthusiasm, optimism, and unwavering, heartfelt commitment to the Deaf community. He's done amazing, awe-inspiring work and continues to do so.
My only reservation with this book is that, in questioning and exploring his sexuality, there are a few offhand comments made in the text that require further inspection and may be jarring to queer readers. I personally didn't find them to be problematic or harmful, but I do believe that prospective queer consumers deserve a quick heads up.
At the end of the day, this isn't academic writing - and I don't think that this book's intention is to provide readers with a graduate degree in Deafness and Deaf Inclusivity. (Marginalized folks don't exist to educate, btw.) Instead, as clearly explained by the title, Deaf Utopia is very much a love letter - and an endearingly genuine one at that.
Recommended with caution.
🌻🍃 More bookish content on Shut up, Shealea 🍃🌻
instagram • pinterest • twitter • ko-fi
March 23, 2023
I was really excited when my book club picked this book because I have always been fascinated by Deaf culture. I will admit I had not heard of Nyle DiMarco and had no idea that America’s Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars had even had a Deaf contestant let alone a winner. But that was an anecdote for me. I was fascinated about Nyle’s home life and his family. It was hard to read about the times they had been discriminated against but I think it’s important that we take time to recognize the harm that has been caused a population so we can do better. It was really hard to read about how school’s required the hearing aids whether the kids wanted them or not and that when Nyle was young teachers still required oral learning.
April 24, 2022
I picked up this memoir on a recommendation from Overdrive. I'm easy for memoirs, so I didn't even bother to read the summary. I was like, "I am guessing from the title I will learn more about Deaf culture and it will be pretty upbeat, so why not?" Once again, I forgot that people usually get memoir contracts because they're already at least a little bit famous, and I should probably google what they do before checking out their book from the library.
So I super enjoyed the first part of this book, which does indeed provide great insight into Deaf culture and DiMarco's experience of growing up Deaf (and dealing with his sexuality through a Deaf culture lens), and then, about halfway through, there was a sudden, surprising-only-to-me pivot to reality show stuff. I'll be honest: that part was not as interesting to me. (I did find DiMarco's description of how you learn to dance in front of millions of people when you can't hear the music fascinating, though.) But the first half was great, more than enough for me to rate it four stars.
So I super enjoyed the first part of this book, which does indeed provide great insight into Deaf culture and DiMarco's experience of growing up Deaf (and dealing with his sexuality through a Deaf culture lens), and then, about halfway through, there was a sudden, surprising-only-to-me pivot to reality show stuff. I'll be honest: that part was not as interesting to me. (I did find DiMarco's description of how you learn to dance in front of millions of people when you can't hear the music fascinating, though.) But the first half was great, more than enough for me to rate it four stars.
August 14, 2023
I recognize the irony of listening to an audiobook written by a Deaf person. If it helps, I imagined ASL signs throughout my listen.
I had no idea who Nyle was, and I was already pretty familiar with Deaf culture, which he goes into a lot of detail here, but I still enjoyed the book a lot. The book really is a love letter to Deaf culture and language. Nyle was fortunate enough to grow up in a Deaf family—fourth generation! Nyle talks a lot about his family and growing up and then his stints on reality TV.
Nyle won America’s Next Top Model, quickly followed by Dancing With the Stars. I have never seen these shows and at first worried Nyle would spent a lot of time on them, but he didn’t. He only discussed them in the context of his Deaf experience. Nyle still has his whole life ahead, so perhaps we’ll get another memoir in the future.
See Nyle on Dancing With the Stars.
Nyle’s experiences with ableism and audism were often cringey. Although most people don’t mean to be offensive, a little thoughtfulness would prevent a lot of stupid comments. Nyle also discusses how he determined he was gay and having to do that publically.
Side note: End rant.
I found another couple fun videos by Deaf people here and here.
I took a semester of ASL in college and studied it in linguistics. Two of my kids have taken it or are taking it in high school from a Deaf teacher. This teacher will sometimes suddenly yell out, making the hearing kids jump or scream. He finds this absolutely hilarious.
Language: Occasional strong language
Sexual Content: Discussion of sexual orientation but no actual sex scenes
Violence/Gore: None
Harm to Animals:
Harm to Children:
Other (Triggers):
*Reader’s Choice Nominee Fall 2023*
I had no idea who Nyle was, and I was already pretty familiar with Deaf culture, which he goes into a lot of detail here, but I still enjoyed the book a lot. The book really is a love letter to Deaf culture and language. Nyle was fortunate enough to grow up in a Deaf family—fourth generation! Nyle talks a lot about his family and growing up and then his stints on reality TV.
Nyle won America’s Next Top Model, quickly followed by Dancing With the Stars. I have never seen these shows and at first worried Nyle would spent a lot of time on them, but he didn’t. He only discussed them in the context of his Deaf experience. Nyle still has his whole life ahead, so perhaps we’ll get another memoir in the future.
See Nyle on Dancing With the Stars.
Nyle’s experiences with ableism and audism were often cringey. Although most people don’t mean to be offensive, a little thoughtfulness would prevent a lot of stupid comments. Nyle also discusses how he determined he was gay and having to do that publically.
Side note: End rant.
I found another couple fun videos by Deaf people here and here.
I took a semester of ASL in college and studied it in linguistics. Two of my kids have taken it or are taking it in high school from a Deaf teacher. This teacher will sometimes suddenly yell out, making the hearing kids jump or scream. He finds this absolutely hilarious.
Language: Occasional strong language
Sexual Content: Discussion of sexual orientation but no actual sex scenes
Violence/Gore: None
Harm to Animals:
Harm to Children:
Other (Triggers):
*Reader’s Choice Nominee Fall 2023*
May 27, 2022
A really well put together memoir that looks at Nyle's experiences with education and people's attitudes as a Deaf person. I loved seeing the backside of his experience with America's Next Top Model and hearing from him his thoughts on ASL and Deaf advocacy. I highly recommend this one.
September 23, 2023
*4.5
As an ASL interpreter, I knew that Nyle is a very big name in the d/Deaf community because of his involvement in two reality tv shows. I also watched Switched at Birth and DeafU. Nyle's perspective as 4th generation Deaf is so rare and his passion for deaf awareness and education is contagious. I appreciated that he was so vulnerable about his family history, including some sensitive issues with his dad, but how he came to realize that his dad's issues were in part due to systemic ableism.
The parts about the reality shows were a bit too much for me, but it was very eye-opening!!
I think this is a MUST read !! Nyle is a great storyteller and he does so much educating while sharing stories.
As an ASL interpreter, I knew that Nyle is a very big name in the d/Deaf community because of his involvement in two reality tv shows. I also watched Switched at Birth and DeafU. Nyle's perspective as 4th generation Deaf is so rare and his passion for deaf awareness and education is contagious. I appreciated that he was so vulnerable about his family history, including some sensitive issues with his dad, but how he came to realize that his dad's issues were in part due to systemic ableism.
The parts about the reality shows were a bit too much for me, but it was very eye-opening!!
I think this is a MUST read !! Nyle is a great storyteller and he does so much educating while sharing stories.
May 6, 2022
I cannot remember the last time, if ever, that I learned so much from a memoir. Nyle DiMarco’s Deaf Utopia should be required reading for everyone.
Nyle DiMarco won hearts by winning both America’s Next Top Model and Dancing With the Stars, breaking barriers and bringing awareness to a beautiful silent world that many of us, myself included, don’t think about much. Part of a multi-generational Deaf family, this love letter to Deaf culture is sometimes joyful and, at other times, heart-breaking.
The writing is exquisite. I learned about the frustratingly slow evolution of allowing Deaf students to use American Sign Language, as opposed to forcing speech and oral education, in schools for the Deaf. I learned about the Milan Conference, a group of decision makers in the 1800s who made crucial choices about educating Deaf children when only one of the members was Deaf himself. I learned about Alexander Graham Bell, who has always been heralded as a pioneer, and his belief that if Deaf couples didn’t marry and procreate, the “deaf gene” would eventually be “bred out” of the human race.
As an elementary school teacher, I firmly agree with DiMarco’s statement “Kids need a language rich environment for their brains to acquire the rhythm and pattern of language.” It seems so basic, and this is why we sing a lot of songs in kindergarten about numbers, the days of the week, the months of the year, etc. It is why, even when I taught fifth grade, I still set aside at least half an hour a day for “story time,” where I read to my students and tried to exemplify a love of words and language.
In a school for the Deaf, this love is best conveyed through their native language, ASL, which DiMarco describes as “…something uniquely ours, a beautiful creation made with Deaf minds, hands, and bodies. When we use it, we feel truly content, truly ourselves.” Which makes the decades of systemic resistance to using it even more shocking. The more Deaf children have access to ASL-rich classrooms, the more they thrive and learn a variety of subjects. When the emphasis is all about speech and lip-reading, gaps can form in the child’s education. His family has members across the spectrum with all these experiences. The consequences, both good and bad, last a lifetime.
Discussing the book would not be complete without mentioning Nyle DiMarco’s amazing mother, Donna, who is also Deaf, and raised her three Deaf sons pretty much single-handedly. The way she fought for them, advocated for their education, nurtured them, and supported them is nothing short of heroic. If there was a school that was better, they moved there. If there was unfairness in the system, she challenged it. All of her sons are graduates of Gallaudet University. Seriously, the woman deserves her own biography.
This book is revelatory. It is also fun and anecdotal. There’s mischief, love, setbacks, and creative solutions on nearly every page. I recommend it highly. Like with any culture, the only way to understand it better is to learn about it. I was honored to learn about Deaf culture, which is larger than we realize and has much to teach us.
A rare 10/10 on my site readwithkristie.com.
Nyle DiMarco won hearts by winning both America’s Next Top Model and Dancing With the Stars, breaking barriers and bringing awareness to a beautiful silent world that many of us, myself included, don’t think about much. Part of a multi-generational Deaf family, this love letter to Deaf culture is sometimes joyful and, at other times, heart-breaking.
The writing is exquisite. I learned about the frustratingly slow evolution of allowing Deaf students to use American Sign Language, as opposed to forcing speech and oral education, in schools for the Deaf. I learned about the Milan Conference, a group of decision makers in the 1800s who made crucial choices about educating Deaf children when only one of the members was Deaf himself. I learned about Alexander Graham Bell, who has always been heralded as a pioneer, and his belief that if Deaf couples didn’t marry and procreate, the “deaf gene” would eventually be “bred out” of the human race.
As an elementary school teacher, I firmly agree with DiMarco’s statement “Kids need a language rich environment for their brains to acquire the rhythm and pattern of language.” It seems so basic, and this is why we sing a lot of songs in kindergarten about numbers, the days of the week, the months of the year, etc. It is why, even when I taught fifth grade, I still set aside at least half an hour a day for “story time,” where I read to my students and tried to exemplify a love of words and language.
In a school for the Deaf, this love is best conveyed through their native language, ASL, which DiMarco describes as “…something uniquely ours, a beautiful creation made with Deaf minds, hands, and bodies. When we use it, we feel truly content, truly ourselves.” Which makes the decades of systemic resistance to using it even more shocking. The more Deaf children have access to ASL-rich classrooms, the more they thrive and learn a variety of subjects. When the emphasis is all about speech and lip-reading, gaps can form in the child’s education. His family has members across the spectrum with all these experiences. The consequences, both good and bad, last a lifetime.
Discussing the book would not be complete without mentioning Nyle DiMarco’s amazing mother, Donna, who is also Deaf, and raised her three Deaf sons pretty much single-handedly. The way she fought for them, advocated for their education, nurtured them, and supported them is nothing short of heroic. If there was a school that was better, they moved there. If there was unfairness in the system, she challenged it. All of her sons are graduates of Gallaudet University. Seriously, the woman deserves her own biography.
This book is revelatory. It is also fun and anecdotal. There’s mischief, love, setbacks, and creative solutions on nearly every page. I recommend it highly. Like with any culture, the only way to understand it better is to learn about it. I was honored to learn about Deaf culture, which is larger than we realize and has much to teach us.
A rare 10/10 on my site readwithkristie.com.
July 9, 2022
I like the beginning of the book where Nyle described his childhood and his early experiences with his education in a deaf school, save one, less than successful year, in a hearing school. It is clear that he was fortunate to be born into a deaf family, so from the very beginning was exposed to the most effective form of communication for him. I picked up the book, because I remembered seeing him successfully compete on Dancing With the Stars and found his performance to be impressive.
As I read on, however, I became more and more irritated with the book and tired of Nyle's repeated proud proclamations of:
- how much he loved being deaf,
-that American sign language is a true independent language ,point taken, but I really got it the first 5 or 10 times he shared this,
-his highly competitive (and his strategies for winning competitions),
-evolving sexuality.
I forced myself to finish the book, hoping to see a different side of him. I cranked the speed up to 1.5 just to get thru it, but no it did not get better. There is a lot of 'poor me' - I am not treated fairly, because I am deaf. But there is no acknowledgement of the ways in which nature has blessed him. He is intelligent, very attractive, tall and athletically gifted. These natural gifts have contributed to the significant successes he has experienced in life.
As I read on, however, I became more and more irritated with the book and tired of Nyle's repeated proud proclamations of:
- how much he loved being deaf,
-that American sign language is a true independent language ,point taken, but I really got it the first 5 or 10 times he shared this,
-his highly competitive (and his strategies for winning competitions),
-evolving sexuality.
I forced myself to finish the book, hoping to see a different side of him. I cranked the speed up to 1.5 just to get thru it, but no it did not get better. There is a lot of 'poor me' - I am not treated fairly, because I am deaf. But there is no acknowledgement of the ways in which nature has blessed him. He is intelligent, very attractive, tall and athletically gifted. These natural gifts have contributed to the significant successes he has experienced in life.
May 9, 2022
You may like this book more if this is your first introduction to Deaf culture and experiences. Nothing was very remarkable in my opinion and there was way too much explanation of what or why things are, rather than letting the reader use context clues and get immersed in the story. There was a lot of "telling" about what was happening. The writing felt juvenile like something my 5th or 6th grade students would have written. I did enjoy the few tidbits of behind the scenes info on ANTM and DWTS, but overall, wasn't very impressed with this memoir.
April 19, 2022
Nyle DiMarco's inspiring and inventive memoir beautifully captures his joy of growing up, along with his twin brother, in a home with three other generations of Deaf family members and the frustrations of navigating a world designed for and run by hearing people. The innovative way in which DiMarco and coauthor Robert Siebert tell these stories is by interspersing American Sign Language (ASL) into the English text. What is known as ASL gloss is a transcription, sign by sign, of ASL on the page, and it is represented in the memoir in ALL CAPS. ASL gloss has its own style rules, so it can be read initially as broken English. But it reminds readers that ASL is syntactically different from spoken or written English.
After graduating with a mathematics degree, DiMarco began freelance modeling and appeared on "America's Next Top Model" in 2015 and "Dancing with the Stars" the following year. He won both competitions. (The chapter on "DWTS" is a rollercoaster of emotions.)
He was outed by a Deaf vlogger at age 26 and came out on Twitter as "sexually fluid." This memoir affords him the space to explore his sexuality with much more depth and honesty.
Mixed in with his empowering autobiographical tales are fascinating historical facts and stories from Deaf history and culture. He explains the difference between ASL and Signed Exact English (SEE); how the average lip-reader captures only around 30% of a speaker's words; and the invention in the 1960s of the teletypewriter (TTY), which could be considered a kind of text messaging between Deaf people using the machine.
DEAF UTOPIA is an empowering, eye-opening and beautifully expressed memoir. DiMarco's remarkably thoughtful, confident and inspiring memoir is a real treat. It's educational and unforgettable.
After graduating with a mathematics degree, DiMarco began freelance modeling and appeared on "America's Next Top Model" in 2015 and "Dancing with the Stars" the following year. He won both competitions. (The chapter on "DWTS" is a rollercoaster of emotions.)
He was outed by a Deaf vlogger at age 26 and came out on Twitter as "sexually fluid." This memoir affords him the space to explore his sexuality with much more depth and honesty.
Mixed in with his empowering autobiographical tales are fascinating historical facts and stories from Deaf history and culture. He explains the difference between ASL and Signed Exact English (SEE); how the average lip-reader captures only around 30% of a speaker's words; and the invention in the 1960s of the teletypewriter (TTY), which could be considered a kind of text messaging between Deaf people using the machine.
DEAF UTOPIA is an empowering, eye-opening and beautifully expressed memoir. DiMarco's remarkably thoughtful, confident and inspiring memoir is a real treat. It's educational and unforgettable.
June 9, 2022
1.50 / 2 Stars
***LIBBY Audio***
I give credit that it was decently written. The early portion of the book kept my interest, the part about the upbringing of his grandparents and parents in a time where Deaf kids were marginalized and not educated well. Also, even Nyle's struggles in the beginning, but thankfully ASL became the Deaf language of the community. About the time he was in high school I lost interest in his antics.
***LIBBY Audio***
I give credit that it was decently written. The early portion of the book kept my interest, the part about the upbringing of his grandparents and parents in a time where Deaf kids were marginalized and not educated well. Also, even Nyle's struggles in the beginning, but thankfully ASL became the Deaf language of the community. About the time he was in high school I lost interest in his antics.
May 17, 2022
This is Nonfiction/Memoir/Autobiography. I like it when memoirs come with a message and this one came with several. When I first started this and he talked about his childhood, I thought, "What a little trouble maker!" Alas, someone who speaks my language.
I watched ANTM and saw the author on that. He always seemed like the boy next door....just sweet and not causing a lot of drama. I liked him right away. I didn't catch him on Dancing with the Stars.
I like the way he stood strong for the deaf community. What a great example. I also liked the insights into his world. Even when he had every right to be outraged by some of his experiences there were never any angry outbursts or confrontations. I would have completely understood, but I liked his quiet assessment of the different situations. He was very reflective and he took every opportunity to grow and learn as well as to educate others. He even dodged and evaded.
Now this was written with hind sight woven right in. You know when an hour after something was said or done, you now think of that perfect thing to say back? That is what some of this felt like.
Not a bad thing. I think that helped show how reflective he was. He was constantly turning things over. Lots of great messages with this one...so 5 stars.
I watched ANTM and saw the author on that. He always seemed like the boy next door....just sweet and not causing a lot of drama. I liked him right away. I didn't catch him on Dancing with the Stars.
I like the way he stood strong for the deaf community. What a great example. I also liked the insights into his world. Even when he had every right to be outraged by some of his experiences there were never any angry outbursts or confrontations. I would have completely understood, but I liked his quiet assessment of the different situations. He was very reflective and he took every opportunity to grow and learn as well as to educate others. He even dodged and evaded.
Now this was written with hind sight woven right in. You know when an hour after something was said or done, you now think of that perfect thing to say back? That is what some of this felt like.
Not a bad thing. I think that helped show how reflective he was. He was constantly turning things over. Lots of great messages with this one...so 5 stars.
April 23, 2022
Dear Deaf Utopia,
Despite the fact that it is tricky to rate memoirs, I do have to say I enjoyed reading you. Nyle's life view and perspective on the world is a unique story to immerse myself in, and I loved learning more about the Deaf community. He made the cultural differences with communication easy and accessible for me, and showed how deep the roots of Deaf culture is. I felt like I learned so much about ASL and Deaf culture without feeling preached to or lectured. He was able to pepper in the facts with the stories of his life creating a seamless transition. The only thing I wanted was more emotional depth. For all of the difficulties that Nyle went through, especially battling with his new found fame and questioning his sexuality, I couldn't find myself feeling for him. I was intellectually sympathetic, but not connected to what he was going through. It felt like something was lost in translation, as the book was told to the writer through ASL, and then written.
Despite the fact that it is tricky to rate memoirs, I do have to say I enjoyed reading you. Nyle's life view and perspective on the world is a unique story to immerse myself in, and I loved learning more about the Deaf community. He made the cultural differences with communication easy and accessible for me, and showed how deep the roots of Deaf culture is. I felt like I learned so much about ASL and Deaf culture without feeling preached to or lectured. He was able to pepper in the facts with the stories of his life creating a seamless transition. The only thing I wanted was more emotional depth. For all of the difficulties that Nyle went through, especially battling with his new found fame and questioning his sexuality, I couldn't find myself feeling for him. I was intellectually sympathetic, but not connected to what he was going through. It felt like something was lost in translation, as the book was told to the writer through ASL, and then written.
May 15, 2022
Deaf Utopia is a really engaging memoir about growing up in a Deaf family, coming of age, coming out, and competing on reality competition shows mixed with an intro to Deaf history and culture in the US. There’s a great mix of funny stories and thought provoking stories. I definitely recommend checking it out.
June 12, 2022
I honestly wasn’t interested in reading this, viewing it mainly as a memoir from a reality TV star – DiMarco won seasons of “America’s Next Top Model (ANTM)” and “Dancing With the Stars (DWTS)” – and begrudgingly started it because I was waiting on other library holds and figured it would be easy to categorize as DNF (did not finish).
I was completely wrong.
Within the introduction, it became clear how uninformed I am about the Deaf community. The fact this is considered a translated book – adapted from American Sign Language (ASL) into English – was something I had never considered, and it was the first of many eye-opening revelations about the 37 million Americans that are Deaf and hard of hearing.
DiMarco’s Hollywood experiences are secondary to the true intent of the book – the “love letter to a way of life” – which provide a fascinating entry point into learning about the intersectionality of Deafness and queerness, historical and ongoing biases and the resiliency and pride of this community.
If you want behind the scenes drama and gossip from ANTM and DWTS, you’ll get that, too, but these elements – outside of how DiMarco had to navigate these spaces populated exclusively by hearing people – were the least interesting parts of the memoir for me, and thankfully, received a small fraction of page time.
This book gave me a lot to think about, and I’m grateful to DiMarco for using his platform (and patience) for educating the hearing masses. Even if you aren’t interested in reading his memoir, the included resources section can provide a good place to start, or further, your Deaf education.
I was completely wrong.
Within the introduction, it became clear how uninformed I am about the Deaf community. The fact this is considered a translated book – adapted from American Sign Language (ASL) into English – was something I had never considered, and it was the first of many eye-opening revelations about the 37 million Americans that are Deaf and hard of hearing.
DiMarco’s Hollywood experiences are secondary to the true intent of the book – the “love letter to a way of life” – which provide a fascinating entry point into learning about the intersectionality of Deafness and queerness, historical and ongoing biases and the resiliency and pride of this community.
If you want behind the scenes drama and gossip from ANTM and DWTS, you’ll get that, too, but these elements – outside of how DiMarco had to navigate these spaces populated exclusively by hearing people – were the least interesting parts of the memoir for me, and thankfully, received a small fraction of page time.
This book gave me a lot to think about, and I’m grateful to DiMarco for using his platform (and patience) for educating the hearing masses. Even if you aren’t interested in reading his memoir, the included resources section can provide a good place to start, or further, your Deaf education.
May 18, 2024
The book I’m reading is called “Deaf Uptopia” by Nyle DiMarco. Finally! This is the first deaf memoir I ever read from an authentic Deaf person’s perspective. As a deaf myself, I thoroughly enjoyed reading his childhood and life experiences especially the pranks he has shared with his brothers and friends within over the years. I must say Nyle is very hilarious, intelligent, very mischievous and good looking man. As a result, research shows and states that 10% Deaf children born to Deaf parents and 90% Deaf children born to hearing parents.
Something I wanted to share with you all especially Nyle. Nyle’s childhood and life experience is similar to mine.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t born to deaf family but to hearing family like Nyle was born to Deaf family. His communication was in ASL (American Sign Language) as his first, foremost language which I didn’t have full access to communication with Auslan (Australian Sign Language) until I was introduced when I was in high school. My family was taught that was signed English (SE) It means word for word, at the time in the 1980’s-mid late 90’s.
Nyle and I come from the same background, he comes from an Italian/American family like I come from an Italian/Australian family. All the gestures we sign are very common, however Nyle is very lucky his family is natural native signers, first foremost language. Mine is different which we had to use SE (signed English) then I learned Auslan later after.
Nyle and I went through the similarities experience in a mainstream school however he did experience better than I did because he was older and I was very young when I was 3 or 4 at the time. I was at the kindergarten and prep at the time and was only the deaf at the school. Mum was my support and was my interpreter at the time. Like Nyle’s mum supported her three Deaf children where there’s a communication barrier at the school. At the same time, I went to a deaf school on other days moving from the country to the city.
When Nyle mentioned in the book about Deaf President Now in 1988 in America at the time. I remember it was a such experience to see how angry Deaf people were, where they wanted to have a Deaf president for the Gallaudet University. Deaf people believe they should have a Deaf person as their president because Deaf people know their own language, culture and history where the two legends Deaf people set up a school for the Deaf. In Australia, Deaf people went through the same process where they had to fight to stay Deaf school open in Melbourne twice. It is still going strong since the 1860s.
I remember I had my first hearing aids at around 18 months old and I didn’t know what was that. When I was around 4 or 5 years old, I hate them and would take them off when I got home as well as the deaf school. I would forget sometimes but it is not true, my sister always hides my hearing aids and got me in trouble all the time.
When my parents found out that I was deaf, my mom knew I was deaf before the hearing test was introduced at 6 months old. My mom said to my dad that I was Deaf, he didn’t believe her until the hearing test confirmed. I was introduced to cochlear implants when I was around 8 years old, I was the fortunate one because my parents support my decision that I refused to have surgery because at the time it was metal, not plastic. Thankfully! Like Nyle refused surgery as well. Hearing people think getting “ears fixed” will be cured. To answer your question NO. Why, at the end of the day you’re still deaf. People asked if I wanted cochlear implants; to be honest I am happy being Deaf. I’m against it for me, for others, they decide whether they want it or not. It’s up to them, it’s their body, not yours. You don’t make decisions for a deaf person until they decide when time is right or not.
When I was three, I taught myself to lipread and my parents were thrilled that I can speak and wanted me to learn how to speak properly doing speech therapy. Nyle has mentioned that he hated it, it wasn’t for him. He loved signing because his family was deaf. At first I did think it was fun, then it became more boring and repetitive.
During my speech therapy, Nyle said he missed a lot class because of it, like I missed my favourite subjects I like because they knew I was going to catch up. A lot of common questions they asked like Nyle did about lip- reading. I’ll make it clear not all deaf would be fluent in lip -reading, like myself I can lip read if I have known someone for a long time, yes I can understand and if I just meet someone instantly I wouldn’t lipread to them unless I had to write something on the paper, however if they did enjoy their speech therapy, then they will become very fluent in speaking like hearing people.
Many of you might have wondered why we were given sign names because deaf people thought it would be easier to know who we are; we don’t have to spell our names if we meet again. The sign names were given by deaf people only which is why Nyle mentioned in his book.
Back in the old days, as a deaf people didn’t have a proper access right to communicate with technology such as phone, captions, doorbell, etc. It was our daily lives that was a struggle for us because we didn’t know whether they were at home I would spend a day traveling back and forth. We will write a note pad to we are here, or have visited etc. As for the TV, I I always have mum or sisters to interpret what’s being said, however, it’s not fully interpreted till it was on our screen in the late 90s.
In the social settings, Nyle and I have different experiences because I was used to interacting with hearing people because I grew up with my cousin who is the same age as me. When I moved from the country to the city, I stopped hanging around with hearing people because I hang around with my deaf friends where I am belonging, my identity, culture and where I can understand the language I can communicate in sign language, rather than being left out in the dark. I must say Nyle was very lucky to be surrounded with his many 4 generations who are all deaf members of his family. I think it’s incredible.
The pranks I went through with my Deaf friends like Nyle did, it was a lot of fun. Sometimes it was very offensive when people were mocking our sign language that they think they know how to sign. Definitely they do not know entirely what the context was being said or do not know how to communicate. A lot of misconceptions about this topic that is needed to be addressed.
My message for you all; please be encourage and be aware to make sure Deaf people, hoh, blind, etc have the right to have the same access to communication and language from the Deaf community. We want to see many schools, education , hospitals, and the list goes on to be inclusive, where children can learn both languages from deaf and hearing worlds where you all can meet us half way like we have your full support in the same way.
Something I wanted to share with you all especially Nyle. Nyle’s childhood and life experience is similar to mine.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t born to deaf family but to hearing family like Nyle was born to Deaf family. His communication was in ASL (American Sign Language) as his first, foremost language which I didn’t have full access to communication with Auslan (Australian Sign Language) until I was introduced when I was in high school. My family was taught that was signed English (SE) It means word for word, at the time in the 1980’s-mid late 90’s.
Nyle and I come from the same background, he comes from an Italian/American family like I come from an Italian/Australian family. All the gestures we sign are very common, however Nyle is very lucky his family is natural native signers, first foremost language. Mine is different which we had to use SE (signed English) then I learned Auslan later after.
Nyle and I went through the similarities experience in a mainstream school however he did experience better than I did because he was older and I was very young when I was 3 or 4 at the time. I was at the kindergarten and prep at the time and was only the deaf at the school. Mum was my support and was my interpreter at the time. Like Nyle’s mum supported her three Deaf children where there’s a communication barrier at the school. At the same time, I went to a deaf school on other days moving from the country to the city.
When Nyle mentioned in the book about Deaf President Now in 1988 in America at the time. I remember it was a such experience to see how angry Deaf people were, where they wanted to have a Deaf president for the Gallaudet University. Deaf people believe they should have a Deaf person as their president because Deaf people know their own language, culture and history where the two legends Deaf people set up a school for the Deaf. In Australia, Deaf people went through the same process where they had to fight to stay Deaf school open in Melbourne twice. It is still going strong since the 1860s.
I remember I had my first hearing aids at around 18 months old and I didn’t know what was that. When I was around 4 or 5 years old, I hate them and would take them off when I got home as well as the deaf school. I would forget sometimes but it is not true, my sister always hides my hearing aids and got me in trouble all the time.
When my parents found out that I was deaf, my mom knew I was deaf before the hearing test was introduced at 6 months old. My mom said to my dad that I was Deaf, he didn’t believe her until the hearing test confirmed. I was introduced to cochlear implants when I was around 8 years old, I was the fortunate one because my parents support my decision that I refused to have surgery because at the time it was metal, not plastic. Thankfully! Like Nyle refused surgery as well. Hearing people think getting “ears fixed” will be cured. To answer your question NO. Why, at the end of the day you’re still deaf. People asked if I wanted cochlear implants; to be honest I am happy being Deaf. I’m against it for me, for others, they decide whether they want it or not. It’s up to them, it’s their body, not yours. You don’t make decisions for a deaf person until they decide when time is right or not.
When I was three, I taught myself to lipread and my parents were thrilled that I can speak and wanted me to learn how to speak properly doing speech therapy. Nyle has mentioned that he hated it, it wasn’t for him. He loved signing because his family was deaf. At first I did think it was fun, then it became more boring and repetitive.
During my speech therapy, Nyle said he missed a lot class because of it, like I missed my favourite subjects I like because they knew I was going to catch up. A lot of common questions they asked like Nyle did about lip- reading. I’ll make it clear not all deaf would be fluent in lip -reading, like myself I can lip read if I have known someone for a long time, yes I can understand and if I just meet someone instantly I wouldn’t lipread to them unless I had to write something on the paper, however if they did enjoy their speech therapy, then they will become very fluent in speaking like hearing people.
Many of you might have wondered why we were given sign names because deaf people thought it would be easier to know who we are; we don’t have to spell our names if we meet again. The sign names were given by deaf people only which is why Nyle mentioned in his book.
Back in the old days, as a deaf people didn’t have a proper access right to communicate with technology such as phone, captions, doorbell, etc. It was our daily lives that was a struggle for us because we didn’t know whether they were at home I would spend a day traveling back and forth. We will write a note pad to we are here, or have visited etc. As for the TV, I I always have mum or sisters to interpret what’s being said, however, it’s not fully interpreted till it was on our screen in the late 90s.
In the social settings, Nyle and I have different experiences because I was used to interacting with hearing people because I grew up with my cousin who is the same age as me. When I moved from the country to the city, I stopped hanging around with hearing people because I hang around with my deaf friends where I am belonging, my identity, culture and where I can understand the language I can communicate in sign language, rather than being left out in the dark. I must say Nyle was very lucky to be surrounded with his many 4 generations who are all deaf members of his family. I think it’s incredible.
The pranks I went through with my Deaf friends like Nyle did, it was a lot of fun. Sometimes it was very offensive when people were mocking our sign language that they think they know how to sign. Definitely they do not know entirely what the context was being said or do not know how to communicate. A lot of misconceptions about this topic that is needed to be addressed.
My message for you all; please be encourage and be aware to make sure Deaf people, hoh, blind, etc have the right to have the same access to communication and language from the Deaf community. We want to see many schools, education , hospitals, and the list goes on to be inclusive, where children can learn both languages from deaf and hearing worlds where you all can meet us half way like we have your full support in the same way.
January 21, 2022
Since I'm not a regular viewer of America's Next Top Model or Dancing With the Stars, I was unfamiliar with Nyle DiMarco's achievements on those shows. However, I do have an interest in books that deal with deafness/Deaf Culture, which is why this caught my eye.
This is a remarkable, stirring, and eye-opening memoir of growing up Deaf in a mult-generational Deaf family. DiMarco entwines Deaf History throughout his narrative, which enhances and enriches his story. His thoughts on his gay sexuality and LGBTQ+ culture within the Deaf community, as well as issues that arose when he dated hearing gay men were intriguing. Throughout, DiMarco asserts his pride in being Deaf as well as the challenges and inequities he and his family have faced,
Librarians/booksellers: Readers who enjoy memoirs that entertain and educate will definitely want to read this.
Many thanks to William Morrow/Custom House and NetGalley for a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review.
This is a remarkable, stirring, and eye-opening memoir of growing up Deaf in a mult-generational Deaf family. DiMarco entwines Deaf History throughout his narrative, which enhances and enriches his story. His thoughts on his gay sexuality and LGBTQ+ culture within the Deaf community, as well as issues that arose when he dated hearing gay men were intriguing. Throughout, DiMarco asserts his pride in being Deaf as well as the challenges and inequities he and his family have faced,
Librarians/booksellers: Readers who enjoy memoirs that entertain and educate will definitely want to read this.
Many thanks to William Morrow/Custom House and NetGalley for a digital review copy in exchange for an honest review.
August 5, 2022
First half of the book rating average: 3.5
Deaf education for the hearing: 5/5
How Queer Issues were discussed: 2/5
Last half of the book average: 1
Deaf education: 3/5
Queer Issues: negative a million
Overall: gross.
I learned a lot about the deaf community from Nyle's experience growing up. That felt genuine. But the last half of the book felt like self-promotion without heart. My biggest issue, however, was how frequently he made jarring false statements about the queer community. Horrid. Switching from how he described effeminate gay men to the deaf community made his statements about marginalization seem hypocritical and arrogant. I had to constantly remind myself that this was likely due to language barriers, but the false and harmful stereotypes about the queer community he spread was shocking. Nyle's memoir made me question my rule to finish a book before I rate it. Reading this book was painful.
Deaf education for the hearing: 5/5
How Queer Issues were discussed: 2/5
Last half of the book average: 1
Deaf education: 3/5
Queer Issues: negative a million
Overall: gross.
I learned a lot about the deaf community from Nyle's experience growing up. That felt genuine. But the last half of the book felt like self-promotion without heart. My biggest issue, however, was how frequently he made jarring false statements about the queer community. Horrid. Switching from how he described effeminate gay men to the deaf community made his statements about marginalization seem hypocritical and arrogant. I had to constantly remind myself that this was likely due to language barriers, but the false and harmful stereotypes about the queer community he spread was shocking. Nyle's memoir made me question my rule to finish a book before I rate it. Reading this book was painful.
May 4, 2022
4.5 stars
It was so fascinating to not only learn about deaf education throughout history but also Nyle’s life. There really does need to be more awareness of the deaf community.
It was so fascinating to not only learn about deaf education throughout history but also Nyle’s life. There really does need to be more awareness of the deaf community.
May 29, 2022
I absolutely loved this book. I learned so much, not only about Nyle’s life, but of the history and culture of the Deaf and Hard of Hearing community. If you enjoy memoirs, I can’t recommend this highly enough!
August 2, 2022
We're not quite halfway through the year yet, but I already know that this will be one of my favorite books of 2022, even though I don't think it's getting the buzz it deserves!
I loosely knew of Nyle Dimarco as a person in pop culture from ANTM before reading this, but to be honest, didn't know much about him other than that he is a deaf advocate and was maybe queer?
I learned SO MUCH in this book and honestly, it's the perfect memoir. I loved the way that Nyle's disability was framed-- as a fourth generation deaf person, his family is thrilled to learn that Nyle and his twin brother are deaf! He grows up in the rich deaf community and culture, attending deaf school and speaking primarily in ASL. It was so fun to hear about his childhood and how mischievous he was--no different than any other kid. Nyle does a great job of weaving in deaf history into this story, both as outright historical information and through the experiences of his family members.
As someone who grew up watching the (now poorly aged) ANTM I loved hearing about Nyle's experiences on the show and that he was not afraid to spill a little tea about how things really went down. The section about DWTS was also incredibly interesting and I definitely found myself down a YouTube rabbit hole watching his performances last night.
Nyle is open and honest about coming to terms with his sexuality and how it intersects with his deafness and I appreciated this section so much. I loved the conversations he had with more conservative people in his life and how overarchingly, he had a positive coming out experience.
The dialogue in this book is written out using the ASL syntax rather than English syntax which I thought was so cool. I would highly recommend reading (especially on audio) and following it up by watching his season of ANTM (which I am currently halfway through.)
I loosely knew of Nyle Dimarco as a person in pop culture from ANTM before reading this, but to be honest, didn't know much about him other than that he is a deaf advocate and was maybe queer?
I learned SO MUCH in this book and honestly, it's the perfect memoir. I loved the way that Nyle's disability was framed-- as a fourth generation deaf person, his family is thrilled to learn that Nyle and his twin brother are deaf! He grows up in the rich deaf community and culture, attending deaf school and speaking primarily in ASL. It was so fun to hear about his childhood and how mischievous he was--no different than any other kid. Nyle does a great job of weaving in deaf history into this story, both as outright historical information and through the experiences of his family members.
As someone who grew up watching the (now poorly aged) ANTM I loved hearing about Nyle's experiences on the show and that he was not afraid to spill a little tea about how things really went down. The section about DWTS was also incredibly interesting and I definitely found myself down a YouTube rabbit hole watching his performances last night.
Nyle is open and honest about coming to terms with his sexuality and how it intersects with his deafness and I appreciated this section so much. I loved the conversations he had with more conservative people in his life and how overarchingly, he had a positive coming out experience.
The dialogue in this book is written out using the ASL syntax rather than English syntax which I thought was so cool. I would highly recommend reading (especially on audio) and following it up by watching his season of ANTM (which I am currently halfway through.)
Read
July 12, 2022I loved this book so much I bought myself a copy after reading it from the library. This is so much more than a celebrity memoir from a guy who won America's Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars. It's a love letter to American Sign Language and Deaf Culture. I found it such a moving story and a wonderful introduction to the historic and ongoing oppression of d/Deaf people. DiMarco also includes resources for further reading on Deaf history and Deaf culture. Highly, highly recommended for anyone interested in Deaf lives.
August 26, 2022
A terrific foray into learning more about the Deaf community -its rich history and unique culture. I also appreciated his inside experience on ANTM and Dancing With the Stars-impressive that he won them both. I have to admit to not liking him much while admiring his pride in the Deaf community and his journey in understanding his sexual identity. I wouldn't want him for a friend , but enjoyed his story and wish him contiuned success.
February 17, 2024
This was an interesting and engaging read, but ultimately I came away from it not necessarily feeling like it knew what its target audience was.
One thread of the book, being an autobiography, was DiMarco's personal history. I found the beginning of that super interesting. He wrote with great descriptive flair, empathy, and passion about his 4-generation Deaf family. I especially appreciated learning about his parents' and grandparents' experiences of learning ASL at Deaf schools: the narrative mapped that personal experience deftly onto a narration of the history of Deaf education, and seeing the concrete effects of different educational approaches on multiple generations of a culturally Deaf family was fascinating. Later on in the book, however, as DiMarco shifted into a narration of his time on reality TV shows and as a TV/movie producer, the narrative started to feel more impersonal, and more like an ad for his brand. Which is fine, just not what I wanted to read. And while his story about how he learned to discover and embrace his sexual identity while in the limelight was poignant, I have to agree with other reviewers that it included quite a bit of painful-to-read stereotyping of, and aggressive self-distancing from, "feminine" gay men. Which was an unpleasant surprise, to say the least.
The second thread of this book is that it is very much an introductory primer to Deaf culture. It was clearly written for people having no experience with that world, which is a valid and valuable exercise. But I felt like even if you were a reader who knew nothing about ASL/Deaf culture... this book was incredibly repetitive and over-explanatory. I spent a lot of time thinking about why this might be as I read : one thing that comes across, as DiMarco talks about navigating the hearing world, is just how ignorant people can be of Deaf culture, how often he had to explain, and reexplain, and reassert his basic access needs, and how those STILL went ignored. It was impossible for me to discount the possibility that this book's repetitive and over-explanatory approach to reiterating certain facts was, perhaps, a result of prolonged contact with a hearing, abled world that simply does not listen. So, I'm hesitant to ding the book for this aspect of its prose, but at the same time - subjectively - it did diminish my reading experience, as I suspect it might for any reasonably attentive and empathetic reader. As a goal, reiterating these basic facts of Deaf existence felt important; as a technique, it probably felt necessary; and as a narrative decision, it dragged down the reading experience. Still gave me a lot to think about though, and I'm glad I picked this one up.
One thread of the book, being an autobiography, was DiMarco's personal history. I found the beginning of that super interesting. He wrote with great descriptive flair, empathy, and passion about his 4-generation Deaf family. I especially appreciated learning about his parents' and grandparents' experiences of learning ASL at Deaf schools: the narrative mapped that personal experience deftly onto a narration of the history of Deaf education, and seeing the concrete effects of different educational approaches on multiple generations of a culturally Deaf family was fascinating. Later on in the book, however, as DiMarco shifted into a narration of his time on reality TV shows and as a TV/movie producer, the narrative started to feel more impersonal, and more like an ad for his brand. Which is fine, just not what I wanted to read. And while his story about how he learned to discover and embrace his sexual identity while in the limelight was poignant, I have to agree with other reviewers that it included quite a bit of painful-to-read stereotyping of, and aggressive self-distancing from, "feminine" gay men. Which was an unpleasant surprise, to say the least.
The second thread of this book is that it is very much an introductory primer to Deaf culture. It was clearly written for people having no experience with that world, which is a valid and valuable exercise. But I felt like even if you were a reader who knew nothing about ASL/Deaf culture... this book was incredibly repetitive and over-explanatory. I spent a lot of time thinking about why this might be as I read : one thing that comes across, as DiMarco talks about navigating the hearing world, is just how ignorant people can be of Deaf culture, how often he had to explain, and reexplain, and reassert his basic access needs, and how those STILL went ignored. It was impossible for me to discount the possibility that this book's repetitive and over-explanatory approach to reiterating certain facts was, perhaps, a result of prolonged contact with a hearing, abled world that simply does not listen. So, I'm hesitant to ding the book for this aspect of its prose, but at the same time - subjectively - it did diminish my reading experience, as I suspect it might for any reasonably attentive and empathetic reader. As a goal, reiterating these basic facts of Deaf existence felt important; as a technique, it probably felt necessary; and as a narrative decision, it dragged down the reading experience. Still gave me a lot to think about though, and I'm glad I picked this one up.
May 13, 2022
This was a really great #ownvoices memoir from a fourth generation born deaf man who has done an excellent job fighting for greater authentic deaf representation in media. I picked this up not realizing the author won a season of America's next top model AND Dancing with the stars but for me these were just interesting anecdotes. The best part of this book was hearing the author describe his family's complicated and rocky history with acceptance and accommodations. His own father was a child of hearing parents and suffered from a lack of support and understanding which caused a great deal of emotional damage later in life.
I also really loved the amount of history and background the author gives about deaf culture in America, the diversity of sign language and the importance of having schools like Gallaudet where deaf students can be surrounded by a community of peers where they can find belonging. The stories about his time on America's Next Top Model and Dancing with the stars were a bonus but I do want to go back now and watch his episodes to see how gracefully he handled being both a deaf and bisexual man. Highly recommend this book if you are looking to gain a greater understanding of deaf culture and the importance of representation.
I also really loved the amount of history and background the author gives about deaf culture in America, the diversity of sign language and the importance of having schools like Gallaudet where deaf students can be surrounded by a community of peers where they can find belonging. The stories about his time on America's Next Top Model and Dancing with the stars were a bonus but I do want to go back now and watch his episodes to see how gracefully he handled being both a deaf and bisexual man. Highly recommend this book if you are looking to gain a greater understanding of deaf culture and the importance of representation.
October 3, 2023
Sigh. I so wanted to enjoy this book. And I really enjoyed the parts where the author was talking about his Deaf (with a capital ‘D’) culture and the beauty of ASL. Those parts were super fascinating and enjoyable. Four stars for that part of the book. But two and a half stars for the Hollywood D-list celebrity cockiness when he was talking about shows like America’s Top Model. (Although I did love his description of dancing to the silence on Dancing with the Stars to signify what life is like for him and how he could keep the beat in silence but the professional, hearing dancers couldn’t.) And one star for the R-rated language and in-depth discussion of the author’s love life. I just didn’t want to read all of that and those parts felt like slogging through the mud. So all together, only a two-star book. But anytime the author was discussing Deaf schools or his cool Deaf family life and the discrimination they faced, I found it so informative and interesting.
February 7, 2024
Popsugar 2024: A book by a deaf or hard-of-hearing author
I downloaded this book probably two years ago now and finally used the Popsugar reading challenge prompt to push me to start listening to it. WOW. This was a good one. I had never heard of Nyle DiMarco, but the title and topic of the book peaked my interest. I went to one of the few universities in the US that has an American Sign Language major, and was friends with a lot of ASL majors who were very involved in a Deaf Culture club on campus, which included several deaf students. I can't say I picked up a TON of ASL from them, but I did learn a few phrases and more importantly, it made me so much more aware of the job of ASL interpreters and how ASL is a whole language that involves more than just hand signs, but your whole body and facial expressions. There was a beauty in seeing so many young people with such a passion for the language and the deaf community, and despite being only on the far outskirts of that group, the experience of being around it left an impact on me.
All that said, I really enjoyed listening to Nyle's story here. The introduction and explanation of how ASL is translated was really fascinating, and the audiobook did a truly phenomenal job of communicating everything well (despite the irony of listening to a book about Deaf culture). Nyle has a sense of humor and an infectious joy in life, and I absolutely loved his passion and vigor for educating people about the Deaf experience in a way that highlights the joy above the challenges. Being deaf does not mean being dumb, nor is it a death sentence, or even a misery sentence. Being raised by deaf parents and surrounded by deaf siblings and family members was a huge blessing that not a lot of deaf children have, and Nyle acknowledges that while also bringing to light the stories of many other deaf individuals who had very different experiences due to communication problems with hearing parents. There is so much to unpack about the lives of people in the Deaf community and the problems in society that hold them back from having the same opportunities as hearing people have, even when the ability to hear has no bearing on the job or task at hand. I really hope this book helps to educate people and draw attention to the many, many needs of Deaf and other marginalized communities.
The majority of this book centers on Nyle's childhood and young adulthood, so it is not just all about his time on reality TV, but he does talk about those experiences as part of his story. I hadn't watched those shows, but I still really enjoyed listening to him share about his experience getting on and subsequently winning both American's Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars. The struggles with not always being provided with an interpreter, the use of offensive terms instead of just calling him deaf, and so much more. I was fascinated to hear how Nyle learned to dance without being able to hear the music, and it set me down a deep dive of watching every one of Nyle's DWTS performances and I was BLOWN AWAY by how amazing his dancing was (he says in this book that he had zero dancing experience prior to the show???!!!) and also the powerful messages behind the dances he and his partner Peta put together. There's one dance where for a brief section in the middle of the song, Peta actually puts a blindfold over Nyle's eyes and he is left dancing without TWO major senses, and of course he nails it. In another dance, they purposefully cut the music for a section in the middle to simulate Nyle's experience, and the backup dancers struggle to get the timing right without the help of the sound. For a reality show about dancing, it was so meaningful and empowering to the Deaf community.
I loved that through it all, Nyle's goal has always been to empower and advocate for the Deaf community and educate people about Deaf culture. He isn't bitter and hateful towards hearing people, but is focused on representation and helping people see the Deaf community as just normal people - who just communicate differently. I hope he accomplishes everything he hopes and dreams, finds happiness, and continues to be a bright light in his community for many years to come.
I downloaded this book probably two years ago now and finally used the Popsugar reading challenge prompt to push me to start listening to it. WOW. This was a good one. I had never heard of Nyle DiMarco, but the title and topic of the book peaked my interest. I went to one of the few universities in the US that has an American Sign Language major, and was friends with a lot of ASL majors who were very involved in a Deaf Culture club on campus, which included several deaf students. I can't say I picked up a TON of ASL from them, but I did learn a few phrases and more importantly, it made me so much more aware of the job of ASL interpreters and how ASL is a whole language that involves more than just hand signs, but your whole body and facial expressions. There was a beauty in seeing so many young people with such a passion for the language and the deaf community, and despite being only on the far outskirts of that group, the experience of being around it left an impact on me.
All that said, I really enjoyed listening to Nyle's story here. The introduction and explanation of how ASL is translated was really fascinating, and the audiobook did a truly phenomenal job of communicating everything well (despite the irony of listening to a book about Deaf culture). Nyle has a sense of humor and an infectious joy in life, and I absolutely loved his passion and vigor for educating people about the Deaf experience in a way that highlights the joy above the challenges. Being deaf does not mean being dumb, nor is it a death sentence, or even a misery sentence. Being raised by deaf parents and surrounded by deaf siblings and family members was a huge blessing that not a lot of deaf children have, and Nyle acknowledges that while also bringing to light the stories of many other deaf individuals who had very different experiences due to communication problems with hearing parents. There is so much to unpack about the lives of people in the Deaf community and the problems in society that hold them back from having the same opportunities as hearing people have, even when the ability to hear has no bearing on the job or task at hand. I really hope this book helps to educate people and draw attention to the many, many needs of Deaf and other marginalized communities.
The majority of this book centers on Nyle's childhood and young adulthood, so it is not just all about his time on reality TV, but he does talk about those experiences as part of his story. I hadn't watched those shows, but I still really enjoyed listening to him share about his experience getting on and subsequently winning both American's Next Top Model and Dancing with the Stars. The struggles with not always being provided with an interpreter, the use of offensive terms instead of just calling him deaf, and so much more. I was fascinated to hear how Nyle learned to dance without being able to hear the music, and it set me down a deep dive of watching every one of Nyle's DWTS performances and I was BLOWN AWAY by how amazing his dancing was (he says in this book that he had zero dancing experience prior to the show???!!!) and also the powerful messages behind the dances he and his partner Peta put together. There's one dance where for a brief section in the middle of the song, Peta actually puts a blindfold over Nyle's eyes and he is left dancing without TWO major senses, and of course he nails it. In another dance, they purposefully cut the music for a section in the middle to simulate Nyle's experience, and the backup dancers struggle to get the timing right without the help of the sound. For a reality show about dancing, it was so meaningful and empowering to the Deaf community.
I loved that through it all, Nyle's goal has always been to empower and advocate for the Deaf community and educate people about Deaf culture. He isn't bitter and hateful towards hearing people, but is focused on representation and helping people see the Deaf community as just normal people - who just communicate differently. I hope he accomplishes everything he hopes and dreams, finds happiness, and continues to be a bright light in his community for many years to come.
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