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The Doubters' Club: Good-Faith Conversations with Skeptics, Atheists, and the Spiritually Wounded
The closer we get to the heart of God, the closer we should grow toward the doubter, the skeptic, the differing perspective, even the atheist.And that should make us Is it possible to grow in our Christian faith without engaging the doubter or the skeptic? And if growing in our faith means growing closer to the doubter, how do we do that without compromising what we believe to be true?The Doubters’ Club is a guide for people who want to live in friendship with those who think differently than them. In The Doubters’ Club, you’ll learn how (1) rebuild the impression the other person has of us as Christians; (2) renovate the intention we have with the nonbeliever; (3) rely on an invitation into real life (not a church service); (4) reexamine our views through initiating conversations that matter; and (5) redefine progress as imitation, not just immersion. You’ll get practical steps and tools to help you navigate relationships and conversations—but not foolproof methods (because there aren’t any).Maybe you’re ready to take a chance because it’s your mom or dad who is the skeptic, a sibling, an old friend, a coworker, or a neighbor. Maybe you’re just ready to embrace the adventure of your faith. If you are open to the mystery of doubt, The Doubters’ Club invites you to bring your uncertainties as common ground for relationship with skeptics and see what God does.
169 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 7, 2021
16 people are currently reading
515 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
January 1, 2024
I’m on board with this guy’s message. In the first chapters I kept thinking, “I think I found my life calling”. Rather than viewing dichotomous groups of Christians and unbelievers, he sees people on a continuum in their search for truth. He advocates for simply being friends with people who don’t think like us and searching for truth together.
But he’s a bit hard to stomach the first half of the book. He comes across as hating on his own in-group - evangelical Christians. He’s not wrong in most areas, but I don’t think he shows the same level of curiosity and respect that he advocates for others.
I’m not sure he’s consistent. He says the Doubters Clubs are not to convert people and that that’s not the ultimate goal but then later says we are trying to convert them. I’m hoping the skeptics of the Doubters Club aren’t being told one thing while something else is expected of them.
I think Ulmer is in line with Rosaria Butterfield, but maybe a little less orthodox?
But he’s a bit hard to stomach the first half of the book. He comes across as hating on his own in-group - evangelical Christians. He’s not wrong in most areas, but I don’t think he shows the same level of curiosity and respect that he advocates for others.
I’m not sure he’s consistent. He says the Doubters Clubs are not to convert people and that that’s not the ultimate goal but then later says we are trying to convert them. I’m hoping the skeptics of the Doubters Club aren’t being told one thing while something else is expected of them.
I think Ulmer is in line with Rosaria Butterfield, but maybe a little less orthodox?
July 5, 2025
A solid book with a conversational tone and has led me widen my scope and consider perspectives on loving those who think differently.
June 29, 2023
Love what The Doubter’s Clubs out there are doing and challenged in my own life to truly love and invite others into my life in a more genuine way, like Jesus did.
July 25, 2021
I have a story to tell as a progressive Christian if you’ll indulge me, that kind of relates to Preston Ulmer’s new book, The Doubters’ Club. I recently became friends with someone I knew from elementary school on Facebook. Let’s call him Samuel to protect the identity of the innocent. It turns out Sammy is not only an atheist, but he’s the kind of atheist who likes to push his beliefs on others by sharing anti-Christian memes in his newsfeed on the social media platform. One day, he shared a meme that indicated that churches should not be tax-exempt because Joel Osteen rakes in millions of dollars with his church. I tried to explain to Sam on Facebook that this was an unfair meme because Joel Osteen is an anomaly when it comes to Christianity: he preaches a very specific Christian subgenre known as the prosperity gospel and that most churches are struggling to make ends meet. Witness all the recent church mergers or closings as proof. Well, I got a response to the effect that Sam was not interested in what I thought. The thing was, I wasn’t trying to convert Sam to Christianity. I don’t care if you’re an atheist or even a Satanist so long as you aren’t hurting yourself or others with your beliefs. (As long as you’re not sacrificing virgin girls on an altar with pentagrams emblazoned on it, I think all is good — really!) I was merely trying to point out Sam’s faulty logic and was trying to give him better ammunition to attack Christianity with. Because, if you’re going to attack my chosen religion, you’d better do it right!
Well, I read The Doubters’ Club hoping to gain insight into how to deal with people like Sam. The book was instructive: it turns out that I was the one in the wrong. If I was really interested in helping Sam, the first thing I should have done is start asking questions about his beliefs, rather than trying to ramrod my concerns down his throat. It might have led to an enlightening, engaging conversation, one where I was sure to learn something about why Sam believed the things he did. Thus, I can say The Doubters’ Club is an important read when it comes to Christians learning how to properly deal with those who don’t share our beliefs. It has its potential imperfections in that Ulmer is an evangelical Christian, so, of course, he wants to convert people to his beliefs. However, to his credit, he seems to want to do it differently — one that leads a person to live more like Jesus did, instead of one who merely goes to church and believes certain things. Ulmer leaves room for the doubter and the skeptic in his ministry, so there is some good and worth in this book, even if you’re not an evangelical.
Read the rest of the review here: https://zachary-houle.medium.com/a-re...
Well, I read The Doubters’ Club hoping to gain insight into how to deal with people like Sam. The book was instructive: it turns out that I was the one in the wrong. If I was really interested in helping Sam, the first thing I should have done is start asking questions about his beliefs, rather than trying to ramrod my concerns down his throat. It might have led to an enlightening, engaging conversation, one where I was sure to learn something about why Sam believed the things he did. Thus, I can say The Doubters’ Club is an important read when it comes to Christians learning how to properly deal with those who don’t share our beliefs. It has its potential imperfections in that Ulmer is an evangelical Christian, so, of course, he wants to convert people to his beliefs. However, to his credit, he seems to want to do it differently — one that leads a person to live more like Jesus did, instead of one who merely goes to church and believes certain things. Ulmer leaves room for the doubter and the skeptic in his ministry, so there is some good and worth in this book, even if you’re not an evangelical.
Read the rest of the review here: https://zachary-houle.medium.com/a-re...
October 13, 2021
Innovative concepts to engage post-Christian culture
Author Preston Ulmer introduced his book to our church 10/10/2021. Having gone through a spiritual/philosophical, belief-challenging couple of years, the topic of this book intrigued me. I have been a Christ-follower for 50 years, taught Sunday school and Bible studies, and felt that my belief system was solidly based on God’s Word. Until 2020. God began to show me that I was not presenting a true picture of Christ to others. I was judgmental, not gracious.
Having attended a very legalistic church in my childhood, I have recently been seeking to know more about the grace of God (I also highly recommend the book, “The Grace of God,” by Andy Stanley). Ulmer’s book has furthered my understanding of extending God’s grace, not only for the goal of conversion, but simply as being Christ’s hands and feet to doubters, those who have perhaps been hurt or rejected by the church or those who are perhaps confused by the ungracious words and actions of those professing to be Christians, among other things.
If I’ve learned anything from 2020/2021, many of us as Christians are not good dialoguers with those who disagree with us. We value being right (although sometimes we are actually wrong) over presenting Jesus in a loving way to a hurting world. Ulmer’s book encourages Christians to invite the doubters—those who do not believe or think the way we do—to the table to learn their stories as we share ours with them. We are not the Savior, but we can become friends (not simply acquaintances) with skeptics, atheists, etc. as we explore our questions together. In the process, we can all learn something new. Jesus never compelled people to follow Him in the sense that He forced or pressured them. What compelled people was experiencing Jesus’ love, mercy, and grace. I pray to be more like Jesus in this way.
Author Preston Ulmer introduced his book to our church 10/10/2021. Having gone through a spiritual/philosophical, belief-challenging couple of years, the topic of this book intrigued me. I have been a Christ-follower for 50 years, taught Sunday school and Bible studies, and felt that my belief system was solidly based on God’s Word. Until 2020. God began to show me that I was not presenting a true picture of Christ to others. I was judgmental, not gracious.
Having attended a very legalistic church in my childhood, I have recently been seeking to know more about the grace of God (I also highly recommend the book, “The Grace of God,” by Andy Stanley). Ulmer’s book has furthered my understanding of extending God’s grace, not only for the goal of conversion, but simply as being Christ’s hands and feet to doubters, those who have perhaps been hurt or rejected by the church or those who are perhaps confused by the ungracious words and actions of those professing to be Christians, among other things.
If I’ve learned anything from 2020/2021, many of us as Christians are not good dialoguers with those who disagree with us. We value being right (although sometimes we are actually wrong) over presenting Jesus in a loving way to a hurting world. Ulmer’s book encourages Christians to invite the doubters—those who do not believe or think the way we do—to the table to learn their stories as we share ours with them. We are not the Savior, but we can become friends (not simply acquaintances) with skeptics, atheists, etc. as we explore our questions together. In the process, we can all learn something new. Jesus never compelled people to follow Him in the sense that He forced or pressured them. What compelled people was experiencing Jesus’ love, mercy, and grace. I pray to be more like Jesus in this way.
October 5, 2021
The Doubters' Club itself (not the book) is an actual gathering of different kinds of people who meet together in different cities to have respectful discussions with each other. It began in Denver, Colorado, as a conversation between two friends, one an atheist and one a Christian.
In the book, Preston Ulmer says that the goal of the Doubters' Club is "to model friendship with people who think differently and pursue truth together. Period." It's not to convert each other to their own ideologies. There are no ulterior motives.
From Ulmer's perspective, it's a way for believers to find common ground with unbelievers using doubts.
But Ulmer says the Doubters' Club isn't really about doing new things. Rather, "it's a new way to do everything." It's a lifestyle of interacting with people differently, to be a bridge instead of a barrier.
And we can do that anywhere, anytime.
Here are the five ground rules for the official Doubters' Club conversations. But they also are rules we can apply to all our conversations:
1. We value respect above being right.
2. We listen without interrupting.
3. We are a safe place.
4. We listen with an open mind.
5. We understand and accept differences of opinion.
Conversations full of spiritual curiosity can lead to committed friendships. To loving each other more, which is God's goal for each of us anyway.
This is a valuable book to learn how to interact with all kinds of people and to make all kinds of friends, with doubts and all.
My thanks to NetGalley + Tyndale House Publishers for the review copy.
In the book, Preston Ulmer says that the goal of the Doubters' Club is "to model friendship with people who think differently and pursue truth together. Period." It's not to convert each other to their own ideologies. There are no ulterior motives.
From Ulmer's perspective, it's a way for believers to find common ground with unbelievers using doubts.
But Ulmer says the Doubters' Club isn't really about doing new things. Rather, "it's a new way to do everything." It's a lifestyle of interacting with people differently, to be a bridge instead of a barrier.
And we can do that anywhere, anytime.
Here are the five ground rules for the official Doubters' Club conversations. But they also are rules we can apply to all our conversations:
1. We value respect above being right.
2. We listen without interrupting.
3. We are a safe place.
4. We listen with an open mind.
5. We understand and accept differences of opinion.
Conversations full of spiritual curiosity can lead to committed friendships. To loving each other more, which is God's goal for each of us anyway.
This is a valuable book to learn how to interact with all kinds of people and to make all kinds of friends, with doubts and all.
My thanks to NetGalley + Tyndale House Publishers for the review copy.
September 8, 2021
The Doubters' Club is incredible! An easy read, but profound. Ulmer takes you on a journey of his own struggle with doubt, and how he ultimately found his way, not to certainty, but to confidence in Jesus. But he doesn't stop there. He leads you on your journey of self-discovery, helping you understand that certainty isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that the best thing Christians can do is to be willing to walk with others through doubt.
In the book, Ulmer tells the story of The Doubters' Club, a space where people of different backgrounds and beliefs can be friends and pursue truth together. These places are rare in the world we live in today, because our world is so often filled with disunity, arguing and hate. But the author shows us another way, the way of peace and asking questions, the way of being friends even though we see life differently. At the end of the day, it's really just the way of Jesus.
This book is for every Christian who has ever doubted their faith, it's for every Christian who knows anyone who doubts, and it's for the doubter too. Whether you think you know exactly what you believe, or you're just trying to figure it out, this book is for you.
In the book, Ulmer tells the story of The Doubters' Club, a space where people of different backgrounds and beliefs can be friends and pursue truth together. These places are rare in the world we live in today, because our world is so often filled with disunity, arguing and hate. But the author shows us another way, the way of peace and asking questions, the way of being friends even though we see life differently. At the end of the day, it's really just the way of Jesus.
This book is for every Christian who has ever doubted their faith, it's for every Christian who knows anyone who doubts, and it's for the doubter too. Whether you think you know exactly what you believe, or you're just trying to figure it out, this book is for you.
January 24, 2026
I deliberately walked away from church for a season, and often wondered how my relationships would shift if I left the faith permanently. It's a scary place to be. Now, I want to stay in people's lives, with love and grace, even if they want to stay away from the standard "Christian" events and lingo. Preston has really wise ideas about how to connect with doubters. His stories are really helpful to see how relationships with "non-believers" can be *mutually* edifying and to provide a model of how to love people at all points of their spiritual journey. He encourages us to engage relationally and long term with people of other faiths. If you engage in evangelism in any capacity, I encourage you to read this book. Of course you don't have to agree with everything in it, or think it's a work of art, but the ideas deserve some real estate in your mind.
February 15, 2022
I started to read this books with the intention to read only a few chapters at a time, but I just couldn’t stop reading it… maybe it’s because I just went through a phase of doubting my faith as a Christian. I love hearing Preston preach, and I love this book!
December 25, 2021
Well written just did not vibe
Well written, formatted well for the kindle. That being said, just did not vibe with me personally. Just do not agree with the author.
Well written, formatted well for the kindle. That being said, just did not vibe with me personally. Just do not agree with the author.
April 5, 2022
This was a lovely presentation of how to have conversations with people who hole different beliefs and opinions. May we all seek to find truth together as Preston Ulmer has modeled for us.
August 20, 2022
Hands down one of the best books I’ve ever read. Everyone needs to read this book!
August 29, 2024
��4.3 stars
September 7, 2021
The rise of the nones, and the corresponding fall of Christian affiliation, is arguably the most important trend in 21st-century American religion. According to the General Social Survey, between 1972 and 2018, the religiously unaffiliated grew from 5.1% of the population to 23.7%. During the same period, evangelical Christians grew from 17% to 21.6%, but mainline Protestants cratered, falling sharply from 27.9% to 9.9%.
This trend—rising disaffiliation, falling affiliation—presents Christians both a challenge and an opportunity. The challenge is obvious: knowing how to live in an increasingly post-Christian society: The opportunity is less obvious, but more important: finding new ways to draw post-Christian people closer to Christ.
Enter Preston Ulmer’s new book, The Doubters’ Club. Ulmer is director of network development for the Church Multiplication Network, founder and director of the Doubters’ Club, and a friend. The Doubters’ Club does not offer either a new model of church-planting model or a new method of evangelism.
Instead, it proposes that believers and nonbelievers — the “skeptics, atheists, and the spiritual wounded” of the book’s subtitle — become friends. In fact, that’s the mission statement of Doubters’ Club: “Model friendship with people who think differently and pursue truth together.”
Friendship across the dividing lines of religion is important for at least two reasons: the common good and evangelistic effectiveness. A deeply polarized America needs people to reach across the political and ideological divide and work together for the common good of our pervasively pluralist nation. Additionally, research reveals that hospitality to the unchurched is the best predictor of a church’s evangelistic growth.
This hospitality or friendship cannot be utilitarian, however, a means to an end. Inauthentic, utilitarian friendship are good for neither the common good nor evangelism. They are counterproductive. If you’re going to befriend a doubter, be there friend regardless of whether they come to faith.
But if you want them to move closer to Jesus, Ulmer proposes that you work on the following “Five Is”:
1. Impression — how to rebuild the impression another person has of you;
2. Intention — how to renovate the intentions you have of a nonbeliever;
3. Invitation — how to invite a nonbeliever into real life, not a church service;
4. Initiation — how to re-examine our views through conversations that matter; and
5. Invitation — how to redefine progress.
Ulmer didn’t pluck these Five Is out of thin air. They resulted from his study of the issues, as well as years of experience befriending doubters, and they track with research on the relationship between deconversion and emotionally unhealthy relationships. Moreover, they emerged from Ulmer’s own crisis of faith and the relationships that brought him back to Jesus.
Speaking of which, the Gospels’ portrayal of Jesus building friendship with nonbelievers that serves as the biblical foundation of Ulmer’s approach. He asks, “Would you be willing to start breaking bread with the people Jesus broke bread with?” In a post-Christian society, that’s a very important question.
For me, the primary value of The Doubters’ Club was not the Doubters’ Club model, but the mentality that lies behind it. I doubt (!) that I’ll start a Doubters’ Club with an atheist anytime soon, though I may go to the local club Ulmer co-leads here in town. Regardless, the book reminded me that while friendship doesn’t guarantee skeptics will come to faith, it’s almost certain that they won’t come to faith without it.
Book Reviewed
Preston Ulmer, The Doubters’ Club: Good-Faith Conversations with Skeptics, Atheists, and the Spiritually Wounded(Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2021).
P.S. If you liked my review, please click "Helpful" on my Amazon review page.
P.P.S. This review is cross-posted from InfluenceMagazine.com by permission.
This trend—rising disaffiliation, falling affiliation—presents Christians both a challenge and an opportunity. The challenge is obvious: knowing how to live in an increasingly post-Christian society: The opportunity is less obvious, but more important: finding new ways to draw post-Christian people closer to Christ.
Enter Preston Ulmer’s new book, The Doubters’ Club. Ulmer is director of network development for the Church Multiplication Network, founder and director of the Doubters’ Club, and a friend. The Doubters’ Club does not offer either a new model of church-planting model or a new method of evangelism.
Instead, it proposes that believers and nonbelievers — the “skeptics, atheists, and the spiritual wounded” of the book’s subtitle — become friends. In fact, that’s the mission statement of Doubters’ Club: “Model friendship with people who think differently and pursue truth together.”
Friendship across the dividing lines of religion is important for at least two reasons: the common good and evangelistic effectiveness. A deeply polarized America needs people to reach across the political and ideological divide and work together for the common good of our pervasively pluralist nation. Additionally, research reveals that hospitality to the unchurched is the best predictor of a church’s evangelistic growth.
This hospitality or friendship cannot be utilitarian, however, a means to an end. Inauthentic, utilitarian friendship are good for neither the common good nor evangelism. They are counterproductive. If you’re going to befriend a doubter, be there friend regardless of whether they come to faith.
But if you want them to move closer to Jesus, Ulmer proposes that you work on the following “Five Is”:
1. Impression — how to rebuild the impression another person has of you;
2. Intention — how to renovate the intentions you have of a nonbeliever;
3. Invitation — how to invite a nonbeliever into real life, not a church service;
4. Initiation — how to re-examine our views through conversations that matter; and
5. Invitation — how to redefine progress.
Ulmer didn’t pluck these Five Is out of thin air. They resulted from his study of the issues, as well as years of experience befriending doubters, and they track with research on the relationship between deconversion and emotionally unhealthy relationships. Moreover, they emerged from Ulmer’s own crisis of faith and the relationships that brought him back to Jesus.
Speaking of which, the Gospels’ portrayal of Jesus building friendship with nonbelievers that serves as the biblical foundation of Ulmer’s approach. He asks, “Would you be willing to start breaking bread with the people Jesus broke bread with?” In a post-Christian society, that’s a very important question.
For me, the primary value of The Doubters’ Club was not the Doubters’ Club model, but the mentality that lies behind it. I doubt (!) that I’ll start a Doubters’ Club with an atheist anytime soon, though I may go to the local club Ulmer co-leads here in town. Regardless, the book reminded me that while friendship doesn’t guarantee skeptics will come to faith, it’s almost certain that they won’t come to faith without it.
Book Reviewed
Preston Ulmer, The Doubters’ Club: Good-Faith Conversations with Skeptics, Atheists, and the Spiritually Wounded(Colorado Springs, CO: NavPress, 2021).
P.S. If you liked my review, please click "Helpful" on my Amazon review page.
P.P.S. This review is cross-posted from InfluenceMagazine.com by permission.
October 10, 2021
A thought provoking read and a new way to navigate conversations with people who think differently than you. This will definitely be a book that is shared with others.
March 16, 2022
I really enjoyed this book and the insight that Ulmer has on having discussions with non-believers and discussing issues in a non-threatening way. You can tell Ulmer has a passion for forming relationships with people and does a great job explaining how he does this in his life. One thing that I disagree with him on is he doesn't think the ultimate goal for christians should be to bring them to Christ. I think this should ultimately be the goal of every relationship.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews