Babble On: A Drug Memoir

by Andrew Brobyn

A mid-level drug-trafficker and self-proclaimed low-life with a big vocabulary comes to terms with his actions and his mental health.

Andrew Brobyn’s relationship was in shambles before he took the terrible acid that sent him on an almost decade-long journey seeking redemption. His immediate plans following university were to liquidate his illicit assets, sell his client list, pack up shop, and retire to his parents’ home in Toronto while he figured out what to do with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy and a quarter million in cash. As his drug use and bipolar disorder spiral, his situation gets stranger and stranger taking him from his university campus to strip clubs, to psych wards and the slammer.

Babble On is a psycho-philosophical memoir that’s equal parts hilarious and terrifying. Observe our freaky protagonist as he navigates the consequences of his eccentric choices and struggles with profound ambivalence toward his own health and well-being.

A RARE MACHINES BOOK

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health

344 pages, Paperback

Published September 13, 2022

Reviews

[Kim Rude · Rating 5 out of 5]

In this memoir, Brobyn gives us candid insight into the past decade of his life. Through his journey navigating his mental health, drug use, and overall chaotic behaviour, this memoir is truly equal parts hilarious and terrifying as described. Although beautifully written, some parts of this book get really ugly and I appreciate the candid recollection of the dark periods in his life.

I particularly enjoyed reading about the intersection between drugs and mental health, and how he navigates the world around him. We get a glimpse into Brobyn's thoughts at various points throughout the decade, while taking a prismatic assortment of substances and going through different phases of recovery and relapse. From being institutionalized multiple times, living the mundane life of a low level trafficker, good highs, and horrible trips - at times I would forget this is not fiction and this is actually someone's life experience.

Reading this was shocking and disturbing, but also felt relatable (at times lol) and hopeful for people dealing with substance abuse and/or mental health issues. The redemption arc in this is honestly quite inspiring, and I hope Brobyn ends up living a good life in a hippie commune.

This book discusses issues such as drug use/addiction, suicidal ideation, and mental illness, please take care while reading.

A massive thank you Dundurn Press and Andrew Brobyn for an advanced copy of this book!

#BabbleOn

[D W · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read an advanced copy of this memoir. It’s beautifully written, alarming, frustrating, hilarious, bleak but still hopeful. With a poet’s eye, Brobyn takes us on a magical mystery tour of poor choices, hedonism, psychedelia, prison, and mental health wards. This book disturbed me, confused me, made me really want to try acid, and also made me really glad I’ve never tried acid. At its heart, this is a richly layered story about growing up and finding love.

[Cynthia N · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be absolutely riveting. The author's voice is so unique....the quality of his prose and the power of his imagery stopped me in my tracks. Couldn't put it down.

[Erica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a book that lives in its own category. It was a challenge for me to describe it in the way it deserves.

"You'll probably notice that the timeline and tenses in this book are all f***ed up and can be a little disorienting."

That's how I felt reading this book - disoriented. The story jumps through time, through lucid moments and disjointed memories, through addiction and mental health, through relationships and love. Its real and honest and drops you in the middle of the author's life with no real ending just a hope of moving forward.

To clarify - the disoriented feeling relates to the author's experiences and memories of these times. As someone with little knowledge on the topic, it was eye-opening. It is incredibly well written - at times terrifying, surprising, raw, funny and filled with desire. Brobyn mixes in his poetry while leading us through years of drug experimentations, trips and muddling through our mental health system ending the story where he is at but knowing it is not the end.

This book will linger for me. I re-read pages and chapters not wanting to miss any details. This is one I will return to.

If you have ever been curious about different drugs and the effects, what it can be like to move through our mental health system or if you have ever made an assumption about someone who uses drugs than you should read this book.

Trigger Warnings
Drug use, suicidal thoughts, addicition, mental health

Huge thank you to Dundurn Press for my gifted copy of this story.

[Tasha Noemi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is not just for psychedelia-minded readers.

Brobyn's memoir is a total page turner, packed with prose that is absurdly clever without ever feeling overwritten or pretentious. It opens with the acid trip that lands Brobyn in handcuffs and Wonkavators backward and forward, up and down, covering the expanse of a life technicolored by drugs and disorders. We follow Brobyn as he makes mistake after mistake, yet come out of the experience liking him all the more for his honesty, humour, and wicked insight.

This book was just the trip this pregnant lady needed.

[Justin P · Rating 5 out of 5]

“When has the story been told? Should I stop when I’m happy? Do I need to find “myself”? Or just keep going until it ends?”

Babble On by Andrew Brobyn is a wild, unpredictable, gritty and beautifully written memoir unlike anything you’ve read.

Andrew started exploring drugs as a young kid, finding he had a knack for the social and business side of things. Curious and creative, Andrew established a place for himself in Toronto selling drugs. He explored just about every drug, as well as periods of sobriety, before a bad trip finally ended his relationship in 2012. This leads to a series of events that could be seen as progressive and regressive, as he navigates his drug use, mental health, work and relationships through to the present day.

Andrew’s story is a unique one, told uniquely. He creates such a visceral, full sensory experience for the reader. The way in which Babble On transpires is further flame to that fire; we go back and forth in time, regressing and progressing with him. We’re meant to experience his life the way he did, to live his truth, without the lens or format of typical memoir. The freedom of form speaks to Andrew’s experiences.

Dealing with anxiety myself, I appreciated the way Andrew talked about mental health. The descriptions of anxiety rang true for me in a way I haven’t read before. There are effective parallels between mental health and drug use including the stigmas against both, as both being lifelong struggles to control.

At times philosophical, at times surreal, but Andrew always manages to ground the wild events in humanity and truth. He takes us away from the stereotypes and the cliches, and delves deep into the human underneath.

Nothing compares to the experience of reading a memoir, especially a great one like this.

Thank you dundurnpress and Andrew Brobyn for the opportunity to read your story.

[Crystal books_inthewild]

How do you rate & review a memoir about someone’s life?

Regardless- here are my thoughts after reading:

The book is separated into reflections (looking back at poignant moments), present(ish) day, and everything in between. As a poet and talented writer, the book is somewhere in between a memoir, random ramblings, and a novel. Brobyn described his work as “a creative non-fiction sort of autobiographical novella-type thing” (326). Accurate!

It’s definitely a very realistic and mind-bending recollection of the life, struggles, and literal highs & lows of being a drug addict, drug dealer, and young man battling mental illness. No sensationalism- he just says it like it is: all the good, bad and mostly very ugly. I’m amazed by Brobyn’s honest, straightforward recollections of some very dark times in his life.

I particularly was impacted by his reflections on mental health/illness- his own struggles and of those around him. It was very profound to hear firsthand how he experiences the world around him. It resonated with me when he says in the end that his book being published was a way to “get other people to think like me. Or, at least, to understand the way I think and be able to act accordingly.” (328)

There is no real “end” to this story- as Brobyn leaves us with where he is at in his life now- but I hope for him that he will “lead a good life” with good people (and maybe that hippie commune someday).


Trigger warnings for those struggling with substance abuse, addiction, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts.

Thank you to Dundurn press for an advanced copy of this book.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, I’m surprised there are not more reviews. I walked into indigo on Sunday on a whim to find a new memoir to read (for some reason that’s all I read and ones specifically about trauma, mental health, hard lives or drugs).
Babble on was tucked away and last one on the shelf, read the synopsis and decided why not.
Im from Toronto myself and found it neat to read something local.
Andrew’s book is so many things in one. He achieved what he wanted someone to understand his thoughts.
He writes with such detail, comedy and emotion that it is hard not to love this book.
His life was quite wild and I feel so grateful to have been able to enter his mind for a little while reading.
There are so many ways to describe the book but finishing this book I can only describe my feeling.
I feel hopeful that he has found some way to live with the “boredom” and feel content knowing he has reintegrated with his family.
If your reading this I wish you the best in life and hope you and Chuckles are still together! She sounds like a keeper.

[Charleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read an advanced copy of this book and holy smoke stacks it's something I've never encountered before that's for sure. It's a whole new world to someone who knows nothing of psychedelic culture, and absolutely fascinating. It's magical, colourful, emotional, and is the kind of book that has a soundtrack to it. You're immediately like, where am I and who is this madman? Immediately drawn in, and the kind of read you struggle to put down because what the hell is going on? Will read again and again because I feel like I miss things there are so many nuances and stories and references and little nuggets of hilarity, you could say I'm in love with the author? Yes I think so!

[Stephen B · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I was hooked from the first chapter and kept off balance throughout with his non linear approach. He took me along for the ride, through the highs and horrible lows, bad decisions like a roller coaster ride. The book is well written with an eye to the biology of his desires as well as a philosopher’s take on the situation. The redemption arc was worth the wait and left me wanting to know…what’s next.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

An impactful and insightful memoir about drug addiction and mental health.

[Briana PL · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the great pleasure of reading this awesome book by Andrew Brobyn after finding him and his books sitting inside of an indigo one weekend. I wasn’t sure what I would think of the book but I really liked Andrew and how he was so genuine about his journey when I met him (as he says in the book he really is a hustler and knows how to sell). This was such a rollercoster of a book from the high highs to the low lows and such interesting pros. What I think what really touched me is how he gets to the idea of belonging and wanting to make a mark on the world, to be remembered. Being from Toronto, this book was a new perspective into a city that I’ve lived my whole life in. I hope Andrew can get his hippie commune dream, it sounds fun.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hunter S. Thompson would be proud of seeing more adventurers like him going for it and writing about it!! I like how it was kept nitty-gritty and real.

I would reread again with my post-it notes, without giving any spoilers away, there is so many interesting anecdotes that sparked my curiosity and fuelled my advocacy. Plus the chapter structure intrigues me.


Well done Brobyn!

[Gail · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whether you are 15 and thinking about trying weed or 65 and magic mushrooms are looking good, read this book first. It has insight, perspective, and is a rollicking good experience. Enjoy!

[Julie Wood · Rating 4 out of 5]

Babble On: A Drug Memoir. Book by Andrew Brobyn
This is a really difficult review for me to write. I am friends with Steve and Sandra, the protagonist's parents, and I have seen how painful it was to witness Andrew's descent into hard drug hell, and how they never stopped loving him. One of the most poignant episodes in the book is where Andrew is working the night shift in a financial institution, and can’t complete a task that he has to do before he goes home. His panic grows, as he can’t complete his work, and has not been taught how to move forward. Who does he finally call for help, in the middle of the night? His Dad, or course. Who, of course, comes ready to do battle on Andrew’s behalf. Andrew never seems entirely sure that he has the continued love of his parents, which is desperately important to him.

The book is a harrowing picture of the damages of addiction and why Andrew has chosen such an extreme lifestyle. I think that youth counsellors would gain from reading such a frank description of Andrew's drug fuelled life. But probably not one for your maiden aunt. It finishes on a high note, with hope for the future, as Andrew is acknowledged as a writer and a poet.

[kiranreadsbooks]

DNF. Boring, filled to the brim with white privilege. Really needed to be edited down. I have no desire to read your incoherent multi-page poem you wrote to your ex while exorbitantly fucked on psychedelics. I get that it’s quirky and odd and you’re good at alliteration even while high, but damn the self-indulgence is too damn high!

[Wade Sandberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

It belongs on every shelf next to other great works. I look forward to Lex Fridman's podcast with Andrew Brobyn. He rejects Shakespearean fluff in favour of true honest grit.

Drug use and abuse surround our morning coffees, on the streets, in the shops, and no matter how diligent or committed we are, whether the deck is stacked in our favour or against us, we are exposed to all of it.

The truths found in this book will shock every parent, and create a fear that cannot be destroyed. A trip to the corner store, playing with other kids after school, placing trust in someone who seems worthy of it – all of these normal acts may derail the train that holds the seats we rent for our loved ones, sending them in their own direction.

The author is courageous to look in the mirror, and expose the pain and conflict many feel but are afraid to speak about. This book made me feel comfortable, like an old leather jacket I found in suitcase I had forgotten.

I look forward to his next book. A bluebird gave me a spoiler... but I poured whiskey on him, and suffocated him with cigarette smoke, so he will sing no more.

[Brenda · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Babble On, Andrew takes you on a real, raw, scary life journey, while giving an intimate perspective and a unique insight into the core of mental illness. A naturally gifted writer.

[Michael Fisher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how this book really feels like you're reading the thoughts of the author. It's disorganized and jumps through time constantly. Normally that would be confusing, and it kinda is. But it makes perfect sense with this book as it feels like Andrew is sitting down and telling you stories about his life, each one sort of flowing from the last as he remembers them. He also does a cool thing where he writes past events as if he's telling you about it in the moment. This makes stories about when he's sober very thoughtful and retrospective, and stories when he's manic on a cocktail of hallucinogens..... Well a bit odd. A very interesting read regardless and especially good if you're from Toronto and have that personal connection to places and events he describes.
I hope he writes more because I'd love to read it.