The couple: Josh? and Sofia
Romance trope: switches to the other brother
Length: 259 pages
Plot: Sofia thought she had a wonderful relationship with her boyfriend Kyle, but he dumped her publicly for her best friend the summer before their senior year of high school. To compound her problems, her parents are off on a medical mission and have left her in the care of their close friends, who happen to be Kyle's parents. So now she has to move into Kyle's house for the year. Kyle and his new girlfriend spend a lot of time at the house, and the only thing that makes it bearable is Kyle's older brother Josh, fresh out of prison. He's understanding and supportive, even when she goes a little wild and starts hooking up with an older biker - a friend with benefits who starts wanting more. With the addition of a surprise brother, a mystery plot, and a bunch of coincidences, Sofia has her hands full.
Commentary: This is what happens when Wattpad stories go to Amazon with no polishing of the story in between.
The plot was overfilled. That happens when stories are originally on Wattpad (or if that's where you began your writing career and you never grew from that). You have to keep people coming back, so each short chapter has something dramatic happen in it. The plot hits 11 and never goes back down. The plot was also completely improbable. Her parents dropping her off at the house of her boyfriend who just dumped her? The boyfriend's parents who were supposed to watch her just letting her leave the house whenever and return whenever? Hooking up with a biker? All the men in her life wanting her and turning into complete pussycats despite being big bad bikers? A secret adopted brother that almost nobody knew about showing up at the last minute and surprising everyone, making up with all of them, and coincidentally being a part of the same MC that the hookup and Josh are part of? And then it just ended. All of a sudden there was a soap opera-style accident, heroine in the hospital, villainous other woman (girl) is unmasked (and that was the stupidest ever blackmailing plot), and older brother reveals his love. Too much and not enough all at once. Josh and Sofia weren't even together and then they were, forever.
I feel like a lot of younger Wattpad authors are projecting - they wish they could be doing those things, so they create a (same-aged) version of themselves as a heroine who does all those things. Mary Sue anyone? Look, I was a teenage girl once. I get it. You want to be older than you are. You want to be a part of a world that looks so exciting. You insist that you're more mature than you are. Maybe you are mature. Are you adult-biker-hookup mature? Are you living-on-your-own-without parents-mature? You are not, I'm telling you (that was a fever dream for sure). And I'm not saying that the author is a teenager, although it's possible she wrote or thought the story up while a teenager. But that's how it reads. Make the characters a few years older. There's a world of difference between an 18-year-old high school senior and a 22-year-old college student. The college student is still immature, but they'recloser to being on their own and living an adult life and it shows in the choices that are legitimately available to them.
Also, she got a boob job? Before she turned 18 (or just the re about), before she graduated from high school, because she thought she wasn't developed enough? That's...unusual. Again, all you have to do is make your characters a tiny bit older and it makes more sense.
So short version: not well-written plot-wise or style-wise and in the end, just not for me.
Grammar/formatting: needed another pass with an editor/proofreader, especially for missing words