A raw, unflinching memoir from a successful family man whose two sons both suffer drug overdoses, one of them fatal, the other nearly so, while his daughter suffers an eating disorder and his marriage falls apart.
The author, a business writer who has written multiple biographies of famous CEOs and big businesses, draws a clear, self-incriminating line between his own drinking and prescription drug abuse and his sons' drug use, as well as between his own bad behavior (he cheats on his wife) and his marriage ending. His wife is described as a near-saint, and he doesn't fault her at all for ending their marriage.
Magee spends a large part of this autobiography looking back on his childhood, in which he is consumed by hatred of his adoptive father, a closeted gay man who likes to take photographs of his male students, and his long-suffering mother, who pretends not to see that her husband is gay and endures endless emotional abuse from her adopted daughter/ Magee's sister. I found his relationship with and lack of feelings toward his adopted family painful to read about; he made me wonder if all adopted children feel this emotionally disconnected from their adoptive families. His sister, in particular, is described as nearly demonic; he shows her no compassion, and he is obviously still deeply resentful that his mother left her entire secretly amassed fortune to his sister. (I mean, who wouldn't be resentful, but it just seems sad he is never able to have any humane connection with his sister, not even when she turns out to have been the victim of sexual abuse in her adolescence.)
The author, while hard on his adoptive family, is also hard on himself, recalling his hypocrisy as he waved his wine glass around while lecturing his kids on substance abuse. As someone who has lost a child to addiction, I admired his ability to draw this connection clearly; I know firsthand how difficult and painful it is to do that, Magee is eventually able to reach a place of forgiveness toward both his adoptive family and his biological mother, who repeatedly rejects and disappoints him, and most importantly toward himself.
Magee also recounts meetings with his biological mother, father, and siblings. He meets some siblings over his biological mother's objections -- and finds an incredible coincidental connection with his adoptive father, whose family was already part of his life before he knew they were biologically related, a connection he discovers through DNA testing. He describes getting his under-age biological sister alcohol, which nearly caused her to be arrested, and how his interactions with his other biological siblings also involved alcohol. His adoptive family were tee-totalers, which he seems to resent.
I was a bit disappointed the book focused so much on Magee's early years. The title "Dear William" suggests the book is going to focus more on his son's overdose, but the events that nearly killed his middle child and did kill his firstborn take up a fairly small portion of the book. The rest of the book was engaging, but I didn't always understand the author's reactions or emotions. Still, this is an important contribution to the addiction memoir genre, and I would recommend it.
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with an e-copy of this book in exchange for my honest reveiw. (less)