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The Bloody British: A Well-Meaning Guide to an Awkward Nation
Ever said sorry to an inanimate object?
Formed a queue… on your own?
Or spent the whole night standing naked in a stranger’s cupboard because you’re too polite to ask for help? (Don’t ask.)
Being British isn’t easy. Especially if you live abroad, where your countrymen aren’t exactly famous for, well, blending in.
As his beloved homeland goes Brexit bananas, bestselling humourist Paul Hawkins takes on Britishness - how it looks from the outside, how to be British abroad and what you only learn about home once you leave it.
In this self-deprecating (and only mildly treacherous) handbook, he reveals the awkward secrets, cultural blind-spots and private oddness of the people he once shared an island with. (Revenge is a dish best served politely, after all…)
Part memoir, part cheat-sheet for decoding a nation of well-meaning misfits, The Bloody British is full of hilarious insights about Britishness gleaned (often begrudgingly) from the author’s own time as another country’s foreigner.
Featuring invaluable advice for all Brits, expats, brexpats and visitors to the UK alike, including:
· The Brit Abroad Language-Speaking Plan
· How to be Rude, Politely (the secret world of passive-aggression)
· How to be Mean, Nicely (the unwritten rules of successful banter)
· … plus an illustrated Integration Guide for British Refugees in Europe (just in case)
For all fans of Very British Problems, Douglas Adams and Bill Bryson, it’s the perfect gift for the socially awkward oddball in your life (especially if that socially awkward oddball is you.)
Are you ready to meet The Bloody British?
Formed a queue… on your own?
Or spent the whole night standing naked in a stranger’s cupboard because you’re too polite to ask for help? (Don’t ask.)
Being British isn’t easy. Especially if you live abroad, where your countrymen aren’t exactly famous for, well, blending in.
As his beloved homeland goes Brexit bananas, bestselling humourist Paul Hawkins takes on Britishness - how it looks from the outside, how to be British abroad and what you only learn about home once you leave it.
In this self-deprecating (and only mildly treacherous) handbook, he reveals the awkward secrets, cultural blind-spots and private oddness of the people he once shared an island with. (Revenge is a dish best served politely, after all…)
Part memoir, part cheat-sheet for decoding a nation of well-meaning misfits, The Bloody British is full of hilarious insights about Britishness gleaned (often begrudgingly) from the author’s own time as another country’s foreigner.
Featuring invaluable advice for all Brits, expats, brexpats and visitors to the UK alike, including:
· The Brit Abroad Language-Speaking Plan
· How to be Rude, Politely (the secret world of passive-aggression)
· How to be Mean, Nicely (the unwritten rules of successful banter)
· … plus an illustrated Integration Guide for British Refugees in Europe (just in case)
For all fans of Very British Problems, Douglas Adams and Bill Bryson, it’s the perfect gift for the socially awkward oddball in your life (especially if that socially awkward oddball is you.)
Are you ready to meet The Bloody British?
9 pages, Audiobook
Published July 2, 2020
191 people are currently reading
146 people want to read
About the author
Paul Hawkins
49 books6 followersPaul Hawkins is - according to the numbers - a full-grown British “adult.” While he participates begrudgingly in the economy as a humourist - the minimum viable job - he prefers to spend his time luxuriously faffing and/or travelling the world in search of an elusive and undeserved retirement. To this end, his life-long pilgrimage to avoid a “proper” job has deposited him in the Holy Mecca of Delayed Responsibility-Seekers: Berlin. He continues to write and draw things (mostly reluctantly as deadlines loom), just as the boringly villainous institutions of adulthood continue to hound him… except now in the far more terrifying German language.
His books include the Der Spiegel bestseller Denglisch for Better Knowers (Ullstein, 2013), iHuman: a User’s Guide (C.H. Beck, 2014), Avoiding Adulthood (C.H. Beck, 2016), The Bloody British (Goldmann Random House, 2017) and How to Take Over Earth (Ullstein, 2017). The latter title is forthcoming in the original English.
His books include the Der Spiegel bestseller Denglisch for Better Knowers (Ullstein, 2013), iHuman: a User’s Guide (C.H. Beck, 2014), Avoiding Adulthood (C.H. Beck, 2016), The Bloody British (Goldmann Random House, 2017) and How to Take Over Earth (Ullstein, 2017). The latter title is forthcoming in the original English.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
April 25, 2021
I opened this hoping for something along the line of Colin White's 'Undutchables' - a wry takedown of the Dutch national stereotype but this one fell way short of that. Yes, the stereotypes are there - the Brits like queuing, are a bit socially awkward, go to the pub etc. but there is none of the wit. Instead, the reader is treated to repetitive point making in the style of an undergraduate sociology essay that became tedious after a couple of chapters. The whole think could be boiled down to about 20 pages - maybe it would've been better served up as a blog.
December 29, 2019
Over-rated while under-delivering
Although containing some reasonably amusing anecdotes, the over-all flavour of bland generalisation is disappointing and not altogether accurate (unless of course faffy, southern pansies compose the entirety of British culture😉)
Although containing some reasonably amusing anecdotes, the over-all flavour of bland generalisation is disappointing and not altogether accurate (unless of course faffy, southern pansies compose the entirety of British culture😉)
January 3, 2020
True
Laugh out loud commentary on Britishness! So many truths told in a tongue in cheek manner that no one could take offense at ( or is that yet another example of our depreciating nature)
Laugh out loud commentary on Britishness! So many truths told in a tongue in cheek manner that no one could take offense at ( or is that yet another example of our depreciating nature)
June 11, 2024
An amusing view of how Europeans see the British. Obviously a bit stereotyped… but enjoyable nevertheless.
December 13, 2019
Hard work!!
I was looking forward to this book but unfortunately it was way beyond me. I only have a bachelors degree but I'm guesssing you need to be a phd to understand it. Shame really
I was looking forward to this book but unfortunately it was way beyond me. I only have a bachelors degree but I'm guesssing you need to be a phd to understand it. Shame really
August 5, 2024
This is seriously one of the funniest books I've ever read. I listened to it on audiobook and there were times when I had to stop playback so I could finish laughing. The narrator is fantastic at capturing the tone of the book and I think that made it even better. There's also a lot of great info for the Anglo-phile who hasn't yet had the chance to make it to Britain. Highly recommend!
February 18, 2020
Very funny
Great book _ light hearted and an easy read.... Very perceptive and encapsulates what it is to be 'British ' a very enjoyable read with plenty of laugh out loud moments: face it - the rest of the world laughs at us so it is good to read something that makes us laugh at yourself!!
Great book _ light hearted and an easy read.... Very perceptive and encapsulates what it is to be 'British ' a very enjoyable read with plenty of laugh out loud moments: face it - the rest of the world laughs at us so it is good to read something that makes us laugh at yourself!!
February 12, 2020
Good anthropology of Brexit Britain
Well written, witty, with some good historical and political analysis. It would have benefited from being shorter. At times, chapters were a mere repetition of each others.
Well written, witty, with some good historical and political analysis. It would have benefited from being shorter. At times, chapters were a mere repetition of each others.
May 5, 2020
Highly recommended
Indeed the British are a quirky nation and nobody puts that into perspective better than Mr Hawkins, with his rare talent for well focussed descriptive explicitness interspersed with an appealing humor. A great read. This book is very entertaining.
Indeed the British are a quirky nation and nobody puts that into perspective better than Mr Hawkins, with his rare talent for well focussed descriptive explicitness interspersed with an appealing humor. A great read. This book is very entertaining.
February 1, 2020
wow, ist das schlecht geschrieben
April 17, 2024
I gave this book 3 stars out of 5. One star for each item below:
- it's well written, easy-to-read
- lots of fun places that made me literally laugh in the public transport where I read this book
- it was given to me by my dear British friend
And that's all. I genuinely believe that some people
can give 5 stars to the book if they share cosmopolite and anti-Brexit ideas presented in this writing. I certainly don't share them. I love British Monarchy, its archaically preserved aristocracy with its privileges, and I firmly believe that illegal immigration is the major problem of the EU, as well as that working class in the UK had all rights to protect their jobs from being taken over by cheap, yet possibly still legal workforce of
migrants.
After all, 3 stars is not a bad or negative review.
- it's well written, easy-to-read
- lots of fun places that made me literally laugh in the public transport where I read this book
- it was given to me by my dear British friend
And that's all. I genuinely believe that some people
can give 5 stars to the book if they share cosmopolite and anti-Brexit ideas presented in this writing. I certainly don't share them. I love British Monarchy, its archaically preserved aristocracy with its privileges, and I firmly believe that illegal immigration is the major problem of the EU, as well as that working class in the UK had all rights to protect their jobs from being taken over by cheap, yet possibly still legal workforce of
migrants.
After all, 3 stars is not a bad or negative review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 28, 2021
As an expatriate who was blindsided by Brexit (and by discovering how many Brit friends living in Europe voted for Brexit), I wish I'd known about this book earlier. There were so many chapters where I was wincing and nodding--before laughing out loud. Hawkins's observations about British culture are on the money in many places and the chapter where he had to explain British email culture to a German was wonderful. I'd definitely this book recommend to anyone not British who works with a Brit, or is in a relationship with one.
January 12, 2024
Maybe it’s because of the British people I know (and adore) or maybe it’s because of my Scots-Irish heritage and I like laughing at British people… this book made me laugh out loud so many times- and like nearly all British humor, it had moments where I inhaled sharply and thought, “yikes. That’s a bit much.”
That being said, I’m clearly the target audience here. If you also have an encyclopedic memory for all things Monty Python and can’t get enough of British cultural quirks - likely this book is for you, too.
That being said, I’m clearly the target audience here. If you also have an encyclopedic memory for all things Monty Python and can’t get enough of British cultural quirks - likely this book is for you, too.
October 8, 2024
For British readers, this book's a chance to laugh at ourselves, and recognise all those strange quirks we seem to have as a nation. For non Brits, a chance to laugh at the Brits. Or despair at never understanding what we do or say. A fast fun read, as long as you don't take offence.
Written just after Brexit, things have moved on since this book, so take that into account when reading and take it as a light hearted look at our nation's people.
Written just after Brexit, things have moved on since this book, so take that into account when reading and take it as a light hearted look at our nation's people.
March 13, 2021
Funny, interesting even if sometimes redundant.
The chapter concerning the Pubs is far too long and repetitive. On the other hand, I appreciated the structure and in particular the final guide to integration, which summarizes some of the main aspects of britishness pointed out in the book.
The chapter concerning the Pubs is far too long and repetitive. On the other hand, I appreciated the structure and in particular the final guide to integration, which summarizes some of the main aspects of britishness pointed out in the book.
January 11, 2020
Enjoyed from start to finish
The author has a pragmatic yet humorous view on the country of his birth which he has shared in a way in which we can all recognise.
The author has a pragmatic yet humorous view on the country of his birth which he has shared in a way in which we can all recognise.
November 15, 2020
Inspired by the Brexit referendum/results, a Brit living in Germany offers an amusing European's guide to the British, using many of the stereotypes and quirks we're probably all familiar with.
December 15, 2020
Timekiller
A good read to take on
A train or plane journey to keep you occupied for couple of hours, or three.
A good read to take on
A train or plane journey to keep you occupied for couple of hours, or three.
May 27, 2021
Boring
December 7, 2021
Seriously unfunny.
June 12, 2022
Sooo funny !
July 12, 2023
Funny and slightly inappropriate. Just like any good British book.
February 29, 2024
I enjoyed this book. I wasn't aware it was so Brexit heavy but I think that actually made me like it more because I really identified with the author as I am a Brit living in Europe
September 10, 2024
Bland humour, quite silly, not very funny, anecdotes and generalisations that apply to many people anywhere. Not at all recommended.
January 25, 2026
Picked up free library and thought it maybe useful with a son in the UK. Bits were especially around pub culture. Disliked the sketches.
Bit dated now.
Bit dated now.
March 17, 2018
Großbritannien ist das Land, das uns Harry Potter, Sherlock Holmes und Doctor Who beschert hat. Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Jojo Moyes und Matt Haig sind nur eine spontane, kleine Auswahl zahlreicher phänomenaler Autoren von der Insel. Dazu bietet Großbritannien Reisenden wunderschöne Landschaften, beeindruckende Sehenswürdigkeiten und ein angenehmes Klima (ich würde leichten Dauerregen Hitze jederzeit vorziehen). Kurz: Großbritannien hat einen ganz besonderen Platz in meinem Herzen. Daher war ich sofort interessiert, als ich im Bloggerportal über Die Nerven, die Briten! gestolpert bin. Ein Brite, der mir auf humorvolle Weise seine Landsleute näherbringt? Perfekt!
Hawkins hat sein Büchlein nach den verschiedensten Lebensbereichen und möglichen Situationen gegliedert und ein ausführliches Register sorgt zusätzlich dafür, dass jede Frage zu britischen Eigenheiten schnell beantworten werden kann. Doch wer eine Reise nach Großbritannien oder vielleicht sogar einen längeren Aufenthalt plant und sich auf den Umgang mit den Landesbewohnern vorbereiten will, ist mit diesem Werk vielleicht nicht am besten bedient. Sein Ärger über den Brexit ist ganz klar Hawkins Motivator für dieses Buch (das schreibt er selbst im Vorwort) und dementsprechend schonungslos führt er seine Landsleute vor. Es braucht nicht viel, um eine Ausführung der skurrilsten Eigenschaften der Briten in ein Gag-Feuerwerk zu verwandeln. Hawkins findet zudem stets die richtigen Worte, um aus einer humorvollen Anekdote ihr komplettes Potenzial herauszuholen. Dabei treibt er seine Ausführungen teilweise derart auf die Spitze, dass man sich stellenweise fragt, ob man in Zukunft nicht lieber einen riesen Bogen um die britischen Inseln und ihre merkwürdigen Einwohner machen sollte. Denn Hawkins erweckt den Eindruck, dass natürlich jeder einzelne Brite absolut alle der ausgeführten seltsamen Eigenschaften in sich vereint und ununterbrochen zur Schau trägt. Was der Autor hier betreibt ist Stereotypisierung auf höchstem Niveau. Wirklich vorwerfen kann ich ihm das nicht, denn genau darin liegt der ganze Spaß.
Dass es sich bei Die Nerven, die Briten! trotz seines Aufbaus in erster Linie nicht wirklich um ein hilfreiches Nachschlagewerk handelt, merkt man schnell, wenn man mehrere Kapitel gelesen hat. Sicher wäre die Kernaussage eines Kapitels auch ohne den Kontext verständlich, doch ständig werden Wortspiele und Anekdoten aus den vorherigen Kapiteln aufgegriffen. Wer also das volle Lesevergnügen ausschöpfen möchte, sollte das Buch brav von vorne bis hinten durchlesen.
Ursprünglich wurde das Buch als zweisprachige Ausgabe angekündigt und ich bin etwas enttäuscht, dass es dabei nicht geblieben ist. Insbesondere mögliche Dialoge mit und zwischen Briten, die Hawkins öfter anführt, um seine Ausführungen zu verdeutlich, hätte ich gerne in der Originalsprache gelesen.
Meine Empfehlung:
Unter dem Deckmantel einer „Gebrauchsanweisung“ ist Die Nerven, die Briten! eine bitterböse und dabei humorvolle Abrechnung Hawkins mit den eigenen Landsleuten. Wer Großbritannien kennt und liebt wird vieles natürlich schon kennen und vielleicht sogar in sich selbst wiedererkennen. Denn was Hawkins vergisst zu erwähnen, ist Folgendes: die Briten färben irgendwann ab, wenn man zu lange konsumiert, was sie alles liefern. Wer die Briten ohnehin nie mochte wird selbstgefällig nicken und sagen „Das habe ich mir immer schon gedacht!“. So oder so ist es ein riesen Spaß, Die Nerven, die Briten zu lesen.
Mit seinem Taschenbuchformat und 10 € Ladenpreis ist dieses Buch das perfekte Geschenk für jeden, der Großbritannien liebt und sich bald dorthin auf den Weg macht. Aber dabei bitte den Inhalt des Buches bloß nicht (zu) ernst nehmen!
Vielen Dank an den Goldmann Verlag und das Bloggerportal von Randomhouse für das kostenlose Rezensionsexemplar.
Hawkins hat sein Büchlein nach den verschiedensten Lebensbereichen und möglichen Situationen gegliedert und ein ausführliches Register sorgt zusätzlich dafür, dass jede Frage zu britischen Eigenheiten schnell beantworten werden kann. Doch wer eine Reise nach Großbritannien oder vielleicht sogar einen längeren Aufenthalt plant und sich auf den Umgang mit den Landesbewohnern vorbereiten will, ist mit diesem Werk vielleicht nicht am besten bedient. Sein Ärger über den Brexit ist ganz klar Hawkins Motivator für dieses Buch (das schreibt er selbst im Vorwort) und dementsprechend schonungslos führt er seine Landsleute vor. Es braucht nicht viel, um eine Ausführung der skurrilsten Eigenschaften der Briten in ein Gag-Feuerwerk zu verwandeln. Hawkins findet zudem stets die richtigen Worte, um aus einer humorvollen Anekdote ihr komplettes Potenzial herauszuholen. Dabei treibt er seine Ausführungen teilweise derart auf die Spitze, dass man sich stellenweise fragt, ob man in Zukunft nicht lieber einen riesen Bogen um die britischen Inseln und ihre merkwürdigen Einwohner machen sollte. Denn Hawkins erweckt den Eindruck, dass natürlich jeder einzelne Brite absolut alle der ausgeführten seltsamen Eigenschaften in sich vereint und ununterbrochen zur Schau trägt. Was der Autor hier betreibt ist Stereotypisierung auf höchstem Niveau. Wirklich vorwerfen kann ich ihm das nicht, denn genau darin liegt der ganze Spaß.
Dass es sich bei Die Nerven, die Briten! trotz seines Aufbaus in erster Linie nicht wirklich um ein hilfreiches Nachschlagewerk handelt, merkt man schnell, wenn man mehrere Kapitel gelesen hat. Sicher wäre die Kernaussage eines Kapitels auch ohne den Kontext verständlich, doch ständig werden Wortspiele und Anekdoten aus den vorherigen Kapiteln aufgegriffen. Wer also das volle Lesevergnügen ausschöpfen möchte, sollte das Buch brav von vorne bis hinten durchlesen.
Ursprünglich wurde das Buch als zweisprachige Ausgabe angekündigt und ich bin etwas enttäuscht, dass es dabei nicht geblieben ist. Insbesondere mögliche Dialoge mit und zwischen Briten, die Hawkins öfter anführt, um seine Ausführungen zu verdeutlich, hätte ich gerne in der Originalsprache gelesen.
Meine Empfehlung:
Unter dem Deckmantel einer „Gebrauchsanweisung“ ist Die Nerven, die Briten! eine bitterböse und dabei humorvolle Abrechnung Hawkins mit den eigenen Landsleuten. Wer Großbritannien kennt und liebt wird vieles natürlich schon kennen und vielleicht sogar in sich selbst wiedererkennen. Denn was Hawkins vergisst zu erwähnen, ist Folgendes: die Briten färben irgendwann ab, wenn man zu lange konsumiert, was sie alles liefern. Wer die Briten ohnehin nie mochte wird selbstgefällig nicken und sagen „Das habe ich mir immer schon gedacht!“. So oder so ist es ein riesen Spaß, Die Nerven, die Briten zu lesen.
Mit seinem Taschenbuchformat und 10 € Ladenpreis ist dieses Buch das perfekte Geschenk für jeden, der Großbritannien liebt und sich bald dorthin auf den Weg macht. Aber dabei bitte den Inhalt des Buches bloß nicht (zu) ernst nehmen!
Vielen Dank an den Goldmann Verlag und das Bloggerportal von Randomhouse für das kostenlose Rezensionsexemplar.
January 29, 2022
I really loved it.
I smiled, I chuckled, I burst out laughing several times. I'm a huge fan not only of the hilariously funny anecdotes and dialogues, but also the writing.
I absolutely recommend it :D
I smiled, I chuckled, I burst out laughing several times. I'm a huge fan not only of the hilariously funny anecdotes and dialogues, but also the writing.
I absolutely recommend it :D
March 29, 2021
A very funny and easy read! This is one of those books that you can pick up and read a chapter or two of whenever you feel like it. As a non-Brit who has lived in Britain for the best part of 11 years now, this book is a hilarious recap of my time here: from attending university, going to pubs, being invited to big family events, bank holidays and political discussions. What really tickled me is the fact that I could recognise my own acquired, awkward britishness in some of the chapters too!
February 11, 2020
3.5 Sterne, aufgerundet. Ein witziges, kurzweiliges Buch über die Briten und deren Eigenarten.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews