Son of Elsewhere: A Memoir in Pieces

by Elamin Abdelmahmoud

#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLERFrom one of the most beloved media personalities of his generation comes a one-of-a-kind reflection on Blackness, faith, language, pop culture, and the challenges and rewards of finding your way in the world.Professional wrestling super fandom, Ontario's endlessly unfurling 401 highway, late nights at the convenience store listening to heavy metal--for writer and podcast host Elamin Abdelmahmoud, these are the building blocks of a life. Son of Elsewhere charts that life in wise, funny, and moving reflections on the many threads that weave together into an identity.Arriving in Canada at age 12 from Sudan, Elamin's teenage years were spent trying on new ways of being in the world, new ways of relating to his almost universally white peers. His is a story of yearning to belong in a time and place where expectation and assumptions around race, faith, language, and origin make such belonging extremely difficult, but it's also a story of the surprising and unexpected ways in which connection and acceptance can be found.In this extraordinary debut collection, the process of growing--of trying, failing, and trying again to fit in--is cast against the backdrop of the memory of life in a different time, and different place--a Khartoum being bombed by the United States, a nation seeking to define and understand itself against global powers of infinite reach.Taken together, these essays explore how we pick and choose from our experience and environment to help us in the ongoing project of defining who we are--how, for instance, the example of Mo Salah, the profound grief practices of Islam, the nerdy charm of The O.C. 's Seth Cohen, and the long shadow of colonialism can cohere into a new and powerful whole.With the perfect balance of relatable humor and intellectual ferocity, Son of Elsewhere confronts what we know about ourselves, and most important, what we're still learning.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Canada, Audiobook, Essays, Biography, Biography Memoir

280 pages, Hardcover

First published May 17, 2022

Reviews

[Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated Elamin Abdelmahmoud’s writing about fighting internalized colonialism/racism, encountering Islamophobia, and learning to see his immigrant parents as three-dimensional figures. A theme of otherness and trying to find oneself in a new/alienating environment runs throughout these essays. I liked Abdelmahmoud’s honesty about his own relationship to whiteness and his conviction to face and address that relationship.

At times I wanted tighter writing in this collection and felt that some of the essays wandered a bit. I also would’ve liked more elaboration about certain topics – for example it felt unclear to me as to why Abdelmahmoud’s father disliked his fiancé and now wife and more exploration of that would’ve helped flesh out that essay. Still, I appreciate Abdelmahmoud for sharing his voice and perspective with us.

[chantel nouseforaname · Rating 2 out of 5]

An intriguing yet conflicting memoir about a Sudanese-Canadian man’s struggle through internalized racism and colonialism.

Elamin Abdelmahmoud's relationship to whiteness is wild, although I’m aware it’s an experience some folks emigrating from various parts of Africa and the Caribbean bring with them, especially when moving from areas overly steeped in separatism, colourism, and class division. These are the intersections where you find members of the diasporic community saying things like “I’m not Black, I’m Arab. Or I’m not Black, I’m Dominican. etc.” bending over backward, doing mental, emotional and spiritual backflips - everything that they can - to distance themselves from Blackness after emigrating to white spaces where they are coded/viewed as Black or as Other. Viola Davis talks about this in her memoir, Finding Me, where she discusses a young Black Portuguese boy calling her Black and ugly and the n-word until she had to remind his ass: Brother, "you're Black too", which shook him out of whatever reverie he was in thinking he had something over her.

It’s a jarring experience I guess, but a lot of the time the thing that I find the most jarring is how some folks can't seem to let that go. Even as they age. Of course, Black folks are not a monolith. There are so many shades of joy and beauty to the Black experience. There's so much to learn and love. It may be comfortable to hide or assimilate, but it's much more freeing to reeducate/unlearn. It has to be more freeing than changing your name and begging for friends. That's just me tho. It's lonely being alone. I get that too.

After reading 80% of this book, I started to feel like Abdelmahmoud found his footing and was able to settle into his created experience, but at a great personal loss to himself. Ignoring one's family and friends in search of acceptance or whathaveyou, driving up and down the 401 to connect, disconnect and reconnect, there's a lot that goes into separating from oneself and one's culture.

I recently read this amazing book called The Shame Machine: Who Profits in the New Age of Humiliation and I really feel like Abdelmahmoud, who went by "Stan" for years and years instead of his actual/real name is trying to capitalize off of exploiting his past misguidance without sharing any work he's done to reconnect to himself, musical exploration aside. Then he threw on the "I'm a grown man now, love conquered all" vibe at the end like everything was wrapped up in a tidy little bow. Why didn't your parents like your lady? Why were you more concerned with her well-being than your mama's who had just had a heart attack? While I appreciate the discussion around the experience of being "other", what lessons have we learned about our uniqueness? After reading this I feel like - the only lesson learned is that expressing your uniqueness in juxtaposition to how you used to feel, whispers *how you still feel* is gonna get you a check. I'm not mad at it. Everyone gotta run their game.

I guess I wanted more discussion on how young Black and Brown boys emigrating and migrating from other places might actually try to connect with each other in the real world, rather than try to stuff themselves into whiteness in white spaces out of confusion and fear.

Anyway, this book felt like it was for a specific audience. It was definitely for the audience that still centers and champions the other. I listened to an amazing podcast yesterday, a little before I started reading this book, where author D. Watkins was in conversation with the brilliant minds of Books Are Pop Culture and they were talking about living in opposition to shrinking, standing in your truth, and not selling yourself out for grant money or more. It was literally magic to my ears. https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast...

I feel like if I hadn’t heard that episode, three brothers discussing standing in your truth, I would have felt differently about this book. Maybe softer towards it.

[Isabelle Duchaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, heartfelt, and honest. Thank you Elamin. The sentence on "slouching towards whiteness" keeps turning over in my brain.


Only critique is that a book so heavily focused on the 401 doesn't mention The Big Apple at all. SMH must be holding out the cameo for Son of Elsewhere: 2 Else 2 Where.

[BookOfCinz · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took two stopovers and nineteen hours of total flying time for me to become Black

Son of Elsewhere is Elamin Abdelmahmoud memoir told in pieces about leaving behind his live in Sudan to live in Canada. We read of his father leaving because of prosecution to find refugee in Switzerland but got turned away so he made it to Canada to then send for him and his mother. We get a raw look at how Elamin went from living in Sudan to trying to fit into life in Canada.

I truly enjoyed Elamin recounting his experiences, I definitely found myself crying in certain areas, especially reading about his parents and what they did to provide for him. I loved that the author included history and the 401 highway to tie the memoir all together. A truly solid read.

[Alanna Why · Rating 4 out of 5]

can't believe the most beautiful essay in this is about the 401

[Traci Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Abdelmahmoud's writing style and voice. Its like reading an old friend. He strikes the right balance between humor and gravity. I also loved his concept of "elsewhere" and how it showed up in his essays throughout this memoir.

[Glennys Egan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cried twice, laughed many times, paused at several lines to re-read and savour them. We — and I mean everyone, but especially Canadians — are lucky to have Elamin as a public voice available to us. This book is a gift that might help some of us better understand what some of our community members are going through, while I imagine to others it articulates something they feel every day but don’t see represented often in the mainstream. This book is somehow so specific to Ontario/Sudan and my elder millennial generation, while also feeling universal.

I didn’t know if my admiration for Elamin from afar could be bigger than it already was but I feel so lucky to be privy to new insight into the experiences and people that made this radiantly kind, funny, thoughtful human.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

I went into this book completely blind never having heard of the author before but don't let that stop you! At twelve years old Elamin Abdelmahmoud emigrated from Sudan with his family to start a new life as a 'Black immigrant' in Kingston, Ontario - one of the most homogenous cities in Canada.

Told with wit and incredible insights into what it was like growing up in Canada during the 2000s. I especially enjoyed his essay about the significance of the 401 to change life for Ontarians and the one where he waxes poetic about The O.C. and why it was the perfect escapism for a young Muslim man in the aftermath of 9/11.

Great on audio read by the author, this is perfect for fans of other essays collections like One day we'll all be dead and none of this will matter by Scaachi Koul or Sure, I'll be your Black friend by Ben Philippe.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

A coming of age memoir that seems to effortlessly switch from the importance of pop culture to the turbulence of emigrating to a new country and determining an identity amid culture shock, racism and Islamophobia, and intergenerational challenges. 5 stars for the last chapter alone.

[Lyne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Narrated by: Elamin Abdelmahmoud

This book hit my TBR list when I saw the author interviewed on TV, promoting the book. He was eloquent, well spoken and very comfortable during his interview. Elamin Abdelmahmoud is a culture writer, radio host, and the author of this No. 1 national bestselling memoir “Son of Elsewhere.”
With his family, twelve year old Elamin Abdelmahmoud emigrated from Sudan to start a new life as one of the few 'black immigrants’, in Kingston, Ontario. Kingston was one of the most homogenous and “old boys” cities, in Canada.
The story is beautifully written and I thoroughly enjoyed hearing about his experiences. It’s honest and heartfelt. This is likely what occurs when you bring young people into any different culture. All parents have ‘issues’ with their teenage children. Immigrant parents put the additional expectations on their own children regarding culture, religion, colour and traditions etc. You have to find balance and acceptance.

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really powerful book of personal essays about pop culture, growing up, and immigrating from the Sudan. I loved the pop culture essays, but loved the details about the Sudan and Sudanese culture because there are a lot of Sudanese people in my neighbourhood, and I know very little about their culture.

I really loved Elamin's writing and would definitely read more by him. This was an excellent book.

[Jill S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review video to come; in short, I loved this book and we are lucky to have Elamin on this planet, but especially in Canadian media.

[Addis · Rating 5 out of 5]

So deeply touching - didn’t wanna put it down! I actually immigrated to Canada at the same age as Elamin. He so intimately shows the pieces that make up who he is, and along the way I even saw so much of myself.

[Wendelle]

Elamin is a very graceful and incredible writer, with this book I learned a lot from his perspectives and sentiments about the immigrant experience.

[Ashley Kaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won an ARC of Son of Elsewhere and read it quite greedily in about 2 days once it got me hooked. The writing was poetic in a way that entranced me and the story kept me excited in Elamin Abdelmahmoud's life experiences. I really enjoyed how this memoir was not linear in Elamin's journey but rather weaved connections between his younger self in Sudan and his older life in Canada. I would highly recommend this memoir to anyone interested in the way others experience life.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Abdelmahmoud is delightful! I've heard him give several interviews about this book and the way he engages with the interviewers is warm and thoughtful, like he really cares about the conversation (I mean, he probably does!) and those conversations led me to prioritize reading this book.

Fortunately Abdelmahmoud finds the same tone in his writing. It was easy to imagine pre-teen Elamin finding a community in watching wrestling, or the OC. He is happy to share how these North American cultural experiences shaped him.

I also appreciated the brevity in this whole collection. I love when a writer shares insight but also know some of that processing comes with time and Abdelmahmood isn't that old. Hoping this is the beginning of more memoir and cultural criticism from him.

[Enid Wray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wowie! Elamin has only ever been a face and/or a voice on my TV and/or radio… I’ve never actually read his writing before. Time to change that. Can he write - wow! From the opening - talking about how immigrants have to ‘stretch’ themselves to find their footing - to the end - and talking about life being like living on a suspension bridge - the writing is exquisite.

This is a tender exploration of the journey to finding one’s self and one’s place in the world. I laughed, I cried, and I got confused sometimes - as in I so don’t get the whole world of RP and kinda glossed over much of that particular chapter/essay… which is more than a little ironic since that is the moment in his life where he just wrote and wrote and wrote - and that helped him develop the skills that I am so in awe of today… that make him something of a national treasure.

His sharp insight into both the personal and the political is deeply pointed, and refreshing. He challenges the reader - by challenging himself - to really deeply consider the world through the eyes of the ‘other’... and calls on us to be our best possible selves - to live our lives guided by love, faith, grace, generosity and compassion.

Another must read title for 2022. Highly recommended.

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

When Brandi Carlile recommends a book, I read it! When I find out the book dedicates an entire essay to The OC, oh I REALLY read it. It goes without saying that this is so much more than those two things, but I am so glad they brought me to this book, because Elamin Abdelmahmoud is brilliant - his writing, his stories, his perspective - and I loved, loved listening to him read the audio. Funny, powerful, and absolutely charged with honesty and humour and insight. One of the most beautiful and generous explorations of identity I’ve ever had the chance to read. I ATE UP every mention of or essay on music, because WOW. One of those memoirs that deserves to be treasured and learned from, especially here in Canada, and another to add to my collection of books that I’m so thankful to have had the opportunity to read (or rather, to have had read to me)!

[Lauren Simmons · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Full disclosure, Elamin is a friend.)
We are very lucky to be alive when Elamin is writing. This book is as generous as his heart, as tender, as true, as honest, as hilarious, as insightful, as much of a gift as Elamin is. You will laugh, and cry, and you will feel, like I do, gratitude for these words and for the chance to understand a friend a bit more.

[Clare Hutchinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful personal essays with so much familiar in between the unfamiliar. I love Elamin’s writing and this is no exception! Who knew I had so many 401 feelings (although I agree with others that The Big Apple deserved a cameo).

[Tyana M · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5
I’ll be processing this for a bit.

I wish I had this book when I was younger. But I’m glad to have it now and I continue to unpack who I am and where I came from.

[Justin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A delightful journey. I want to hug Elamin’s parents.

And, hey, how about we get Bill Clinton on trial for war crimes?

[Tanya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never thought I would read a book about how WWE and the OC helped someone find their identity in a new country.

[Mike Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Something connects deeply with me about this story and Elamin’s voice. The last few chapters turned me into a dam of emotion that the acknowledgments fully burst into a nice sob. He had no right to talk about his daughter holding his face.

Grateful for this book.

[Peaarly · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did it! 100 books read in 2022!!

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book.

[Victoria Houle · Rating 5 out of 5]

The fact that these essays somehow tricked me into thinking fondly of the 401 gives it 5⭐️ alone.

But also a perfect collection of essays.

[Michelle Chan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Best read of the summer

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid 4.5!

(After dutifully pre-ordering the book, it only took me a year or so following release to actually read it)