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She's Nice Though: Essays on Being Bad at Being Good
AN NPR BOOK-OF-THE-DAY • A PUBLISHERS WEEKLY STAFF PICK • A NYLON MUST-READ • A FORTUNE NEW BOOK TO READ IN AUGUST
“And, at the center of it all, am I actually nice or am I just performing a role I think I’m expected to play” Mia Mercado is a razor-sharp cultural critic and essayist known for her witty and hilarious dissections of the uncomfortable truths that rule our lives. In this thought-provoking collection of new essays, Mercado examines what it means to be “polite,” “agreeable,” and “nice.” She covers topics from the subtleties of the “Bad Bitch” and why women dominate the ASMR market, to what makes her dog an adorable little freak and how you know if you’re shy. This is a book about the unspoken trick mirror of our “good” intentions: the inherent performance of the social media apology, celebrating men when they do the bare minimum, and why we trust a Midwesterner to watch our stuff when we go pee.
Throughout, she ponders her identity as an Asian woman and asks what “nice” even means—and why anyone would want to be it. With writing that is as precise as it is profound, and cultural references that range from trash reality television to the New York Times Sunday-morning crossword puzzle, Mercado uncovers weird, long-overdue truths about our frailties and failings. In the end, she sees them not as a source of shame but as a cause for celebration. Filled with revelations that range from the silly to the serious,
She’s Nice Though offers a mind-bending glimpse into the illusions and delusions of contemporary life—and reveals who we *really* are when no one is watching.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published August 30, 2022
48 people are currently reading
3984 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
January 10, 2023
There were moments I LOVED this book, and moments where this book DRAGGED. I feel like the author lacked depth at times in her exploration of certain issues, but her humor was refreshing.
October 3, 2022
Intelligent writing but no depth. Her humor tries way too hard and is just not my style.
December 13, 2022
its not what i expected. i thought there will be more depth and less millenial humor. there are some good points but it's easy to loose them amongst the jokes and anegdotes. it felt too much like some kind of podcast rather than a book
September 20, 2022
Another one of those books that I wonder if I would have liked better as an audiobook. Also I can't believe someone recommended this book to me. (If you recommended this book to me, or have read it, DM me, I'd love to hear your thoughts).
The book included some thought provoking quips and world observations but otherwise this book landed a little flat for me. That being said, I did like how Mercado depicted the pandemic experience and some of the shifts that occurred as a result of the pandemic. Other than that, I quickly lost interest in this book and could wait to be done. (I really need to board the DNF train). I also kept hoping cake would have a larger role in one of the stories but sadly I was disappointed.
The book included some thought provoking quips and world observations but otherwise this book landed a little flat for me. That being said, I did like how Mercado depicted the pandemic experience and some of the shifts that occurred as a result of the pandemic. Other than that, I quickly lost interest in this book and could wait to be done. (I really need to board the DNF train). I also kept hoping cake would have a larger role in one of the stories but sadly I was disappointed.
February 22, 2023
The first chapter pulled me in, and I was excited to read her explorations on niceness especially as a woman of colour. However, 3 chapters later and it was anything but. Her humour felt forced and the book lacked focus. Did not finish reading.
September 5, 2022
loved just loved and was just so needed
November 8, 2022
I feel like the humor in this book was very forced and not very funny at all.
September 19, 2022
3.5 stars
March 26, 2023
mia mercado is my religion. she’s hilarious and everything to me. so lovely to meet her and to have this wonderful book autographed. if a human being could be sunshine, it’s her and this book.
September 24, 2024
Kind of like a less refined Asian Dolly Alderton if you will. Adored a few chapters but a lot of them felt surplus. Laughed out loud a heap.
March 16, 2023
I love any reference to being a bad bitch and Mia gave us a whole essay. Some of the sections were incredibly dry, some were spot on, hilarious and refreshing.
December 27, 2022
oohhhkay, i realllly wanted to eat this up like leftover christmas fudge. i love essay books. mia has a funny sense of humor and some of the chapters made me giggle and were super relatable but overall, this was a slow burn and ultimately pretty much fell flat for me. 😅
September 5, 2022
Fun read alert!
She’s Nice Though is a collection of essays exploring the inner critic and the societal forces that push girls and women to be nice at all costs.
Mia Mercado is unflinchingly honest throughout these witty, insightful stories. Her personal experiences are surprisingly relatable to most women, and perhaps some men.
I laughed, a lot. Mercado’s writing style is engaging and entertaining, making even the heavier topics enjoyable to explore.
*I received a free copy from the publisher.*
She’s Nice Though is a collection of essays exploring the inner critic and the societal forces that push girls and women to be nice at all costs.
Mia Mercado is unflinchingly honest throughout these witty, insightful stories. Her personal experiences are surprisingly relatable to most women, and perhaps some men.
I laughed, a lot. Mercado’s writing style is engaging and entertaining, making even the heavier topics enjoyable to explore.
*I received a free copy from the publisher.*
November 30, 2023
1.5
I've been chasing the "Little Weirds" high for too long. The writing is youthful and relatable and flowery in a way that I think might better suit individual think pieces, its almost too much in one essay after another? Really finds the line between genuinely relatable and trying too hard and then plays jump rope with that line.
I've been chasing the "Little Weirds" high for too long. The writing is youthful and relatable and flowery in a way that I think might better suit individual think pieces, its almost too much in one essay after another? Really finds the line between genuinely relatable and trying too hard and then plays jump rope with that line.
September 16, 2022
My new favourite niche genre might be quirky books with cake on the cover written by self-proclaimed socially awkward half-asian introverts
November 25, 2023
there were parts of this book that spoke to my soul and other parts of this book that made me laugh out loud and far too many parts of this book that I thought, “who let this be part of a publication?” and skipped. “essays” is a strong word.
May 2, 2022
So happy I got this book to review for Booklist! I finished it in a day. I laughed out loud the whole time (and even snorted). I can really relate to Mercado and some of the stories in this book. I don't want to spoil anything, but let's just say I have done many of the awkward things she mentions (and self-flagellate over them to this day).
February 11, 2024
Recommended: yes
for women who have ever struggled with societal obligations, for women (or anyone, really) who have sacrificed parts of themselves for others, for people who want a laugh
Thoughts:
Warning: painfully relatable. Made me face uncomfortable truths about myself.
This has a mega wide range of what's included. There's the expected standard fare of her narration of her own life, but also a short story, some stream of consciousness, some rhetorical role playing, lists of ideas, and so much more. Strangely, I tend to enjoy essays and not collections of short stories. I definitely enjoyed these, and I think it's in large part because of the range of the writing and text style (not to be confused with textile) that was used throughout the book. I never really knew what was coming next, but I enjoyed all except maybe one that was a list of podcast ideas that just didn't really click for me as a section.
The other more obvious aspect that carried this collection was the focus on expectations of women that we place on ourselves or that are foisted upon us. Mia talks a lot about her own experiences growing up and into adulthood of trying to maintain the image of being Good, and how that didn't necessarily mean that she was, just that she wanted people to think of her as Good and value her for it.
I'll be honest, there was a lot of her own brutally honest self-assessment that range true for me too. She put to words things that I've been thinking about myself, but was too afraid to face head-on just yet. But boy, reading it sure did make me confront it a bit since I couldn't really hide at that point. Things like giving up your own dreams to be supportive of others' around you, and sacrificing little chunks of yourself until you're more formed based on the interests of the people whose interest you'd like to catch. I have a terrible habit of doing that, and work hard to balance it, but still often fail.
Authenticity is a huge backbone of this, as well as expectations of girls and women in general. It's not preachy though, and more of a self-examination that, at least for me, brought some comfort in knowing I'm not alone in feeling some of those same things. Mia is unflinchingly straight to the point and calls herself out in so many ways. She even acknowledges when she's calling herself out and how it's at once her nightmare and fervent desire to be seen, to be known.
I really really liked this one. Plus, she made the cake on the cover herself. Books with a homemade cake on the cover have a good streak for me. Just ask Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes.
for women who have ever struggled with societal obligations, for women (or anyone, really) who have sacrificed parts of themselves for others, for people who want a laugh
Thoughts:
Warning: painfully relatable. Made me face uncomfortable truths about myself.
This has a mega wide range of what's included. There's the expected standard fare of her narration of her own life, but also a short story, some stream of consciousness, some rhetorical role playing, lists of ideas, and so much more. Strangely, I tend to enjoy essays and not collections of short stories. I definitely enjoyed these, and I think it's in large part because of the range of the writing and text style (not to be confused with textile) that was used throughout the book. I never really knew what was coming next, but I enjoyed all except maybe one that was a list of podcast ideas that just didn't really click for me as a section.
The other more obvious aspect that carried this collection was the focus on expectations of women that we place on ourselves or that are foisted upon us. Mia talks a lot about her own experiences growing up and into adulthood of trying to maintain the image of being Good, and how that didn't necessarily mean that she was, just that she wanted people to think of her as Good and value her for it.
I'll be honest, there was a lot of her own brutally honest self-assessment that range true for me too. She put to words things that I've been thinking about myself, but was too afraid to face head-on just yet. But boy, reading it sure did make me confront it a bit since I couldn't really hide at that point. Things like giving up your own dreams to be supportive of others' around you, and sacrificing little chunks of yourself until you're more formed based on the interests of the people whose interest you'd like to catch. I have a terrible habit of doing that, and work hard to balance it, but still often fail.
Authenticity is a huge backbone of this, as well as expectations of girls and women in general. It's not preachy though, and more of a self-examination that, at least for me, brought some comfort in knowing I'm not alone in feeling some of those same things. Mia is unflinchingly straight to the point and calls herself out in so many ways. She even acknowledges when she's calling herself out and how it's at once her nightmare and fervent desire to be seen, to be known.
I really really liked this one. Plus, she made the cake on the cover herself. Books with a homemade cake on the cover have a good streak for me. Just ask Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes.
December 6, 2022
There were moments when this book was a 4, and glimmers of 5. I laughed, I whooped as I ran along side the author. Then there were a lot of 3s when I just didn’t relate. It was like being on the outside knowing all the references were for the younger folks. They were irreverent in a not like cool irreverent but the type of irreverence I’m old enough to really not care, not just perform how much I don’t care. But that’s only because I had stopped watching TV by the time these important actors and singers and what have you were all the rage. Or maybe it was by the time my brain had already calcified. I imagine if you’re in your 30s, this book would be a lot of fun.
September 16, 2022
3 1/2 ⭐️
This was an entertaining essay collection. The stronger essays were about her personal experiences growing up and were the most relatable and amusing. The analyses of niceness and performance only scratch the surface.
This was an entertaining essay collection. The stronger essays were about her personal experiences growing up and were the most relatable and amusing. The analyses of niceness and performance only scratch the surface.
March 18, 2022
this book ghost wrote my life
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 7, 2022
Unfortunately neither interesting nor funny and with the exception of two essays, superficial and a waste of time. Shame, her first one was pretty good
August 29, 2023
millennial humor
August 13, 2023
4.5, rounded down to practice an existence of not being nice, for which I hope the author ironically commends me.
Midwestern Nice and Filipino/Asian American Nice cross paths often in this essay collection: not wanting to take up too much time bagging your groceries at the cash register meets not wanting to stand out from the crowd, despite one’s inner desire to be seen.
This reader—mixed Pinay American from Virginia—gets Mia, and hopes others with less racially ambiguous identities will get it, too (or at least stop exoticizing us please?).
I LOVE Mia’s exploration of person as performance in our socially dependent world (generalized anxiety, anyone? 🙋🏻♀️). Mia asks the questions I stumble over again and again in therapy: why do I feel like I take up too much space on this crowded subway platform? why do i feel the need to make way for passerby on the sidewalk by treading through dog poop or into oncoming traffic? why does it feel like life would be easier if I just dug a hole and kept digging? How much of my life is spent performing my self? Am i doing it right now? How do I find “me”?
My only wish for this book is to see more behind the mask of humor Mia dons with precision. Maybe because I worry other readers won’t see past the funny and therefore miss what’s being called out about themselves entirely.
Midwestern Nice and Filipino/Asian American Nice cross paths often in this essay collection: not wanting to take up too much time bagging your groceries at the cash register meets not wanting to stand out from the crowd, despite one’s inner desire to be seen.
This reader—mixed Pinay American from Virginia—gets Mia, and hopes others with less racially ambiguous identities will get it, too (or at least stop exoticizing us please?).
I LOVE Mia’s exploration of person as performance in our socially dependent world (generalized anxiety, anyone? 🙋🏻♀️). Mia asks the questions I stumble over again and again in therapy: why do I feel like I take up too much space on this crowded subway platform? why do i feel the need to make way for passerby on the sidewalk by treading through dog poop or into oncoming traffic? why does it feel like life would be easier if I just dug a hole and kept digging? How much of my life is spent performing my self? Am i doing it right now? How do I find “me”?
My only wish for this book is to see more behind the mask of humor Mia dons with precision. Maybe because I worry other readers won’t see past the funny and therefore miss what’s being called out about themselves entirely.
October 19, 2023
Sadly, this BOOK was "bad at being good"....if you appreciated this cringe joke, you might actually like this book. But otherwise, feel free to skip it.
There are *glimmers* of meaningful themes and ideas, but mostly it felt slapped together with zero depth. It felt like a missed opportunity. There's even a self-deprecating joke in the first essay about how putting an Internet quiz in a book and calling it a chapter feels like cheating.
Most of the essays are reminiscent of a college student who is way less funny, clever, and edgy in real life than they think they are. There's more references to farting than one would expect. There's allot of shoegazing about how the author is anxious about being "nice" and how the Western world expects this of Asian Americans. There's digs at Asians who ask her about her ethnicity. But then she stops there and doesn't really add much depth or analysis.
There's brief mention of a white husband, how she doesn't like the idea of marriage...but then the author goes on to talk about her cute, conventional marriage. Don't worry, nothing ground-breaking, interesting, or revolutionary in this book!!!
And of course, there's the obligatory pandemic chapter. It all just feels like a mediocre podcast, printed in book form to fill content.
There are *glimmers* of meaningful themes and ideas, but mostly it felt slapped together with zero depth. It felt like a missed opportunity. There's even a self-deprecating joke in the first essay about how putting an Internet quiz in a book and calling it a chapter feels like cheating.
Most of the essays are reminiscent of a college student who is way less funny, clever, and edgy in real life than they think they are. There's more references to farting than one would expect. There's allot of shoegazing about how the author is anxious about being "nice" and how the Western world expects this of Asian Americans. There's digs at Asians who ask her about her ethnicity. But then she stops there and doesn't really add much depth or analysis.
There's brief mention of a white husband, how she doesn't like the idea of marriage...but then the author goes on to talk about her cute, conventional marriage. Don't worry, nothing ground-breaking, interesting, or revolutionary in this book!!!
And of course, there's the obligatory pandemic chapter. It all just feels like a mediocre podcast, printed in book form to fill content.
February 21, 2023
Through these essays, as a female reader, I’m being asked, how nice are you? Are you actually being nice or are you only avoiding conflict? It is very much targeted for women as Mercado asks herself the same question and answers with experiences she’s had over her life.
Easy and fun read where I laughed out loud a few times. The other times? It definitely felt like a drag. Sort of like being hungover at brunch with a friend who got 8 hours of sleep and is ready to go. But, you’d never tell your friend to be quiet because you’re nice! And you’re suppressing your emotions to be liked by others!
Big thank you to Harper Collins for the gifted copy.
Easy and fun read where I laughed out loud a few times. The other times? It definitely felt like a drag. Sort of like being hungover at brunch with a friend who got 8 hours of sleep and is ready to go. But, you’d never tell your friend to be quiet because you’re nice! And you’re suppressing your emotions to be liked by others!
Big thank you to Harper Collins for the gifted copy.
September 7, 2022
I won this book in the Goodreads Giveaway and it was such a good book. Ranging from lighthearted topics to the deep and intense topics. It made me laugh a lot more than I expected and it made me ponder on topics I didn't have a lot of information/opinions/perspective on. I would love to read more books from Mia Mercado. She is a great writer and is vulnerable with her stories and life. It definitely makes one feel connected and understood.
June 13, 2025
They’re essays. But, like, I’ve never felt so seen in a “I’m a millennial and all the nostalgic memories of the 90’s & early 2000’s have some major embarrassment attached but this essay can make me reflect on those embarrassments and laugh cos I’m not alone & some of the things Mia is talking about is somehow more embarrassing” kind a way.
I borrowed this book from the library but I like it so much I’m going to buy my own copy as a trophy book. 10/10
I borrowed this book from the library but I like it so much I’m going to buy my own copy as a trophy book. 10/10
November 25, 2022
Through her essays Mia Mercado questions how nice are we? Specifically women being nice. Is our niceness genuine or simply performative?
Essentially women are expected to be nice and in always trying to be nice and well liked by our peers, we suppress our own feelings and emotions to be considered nice!
Her essays are interesting but doesn't really tell us anything new.
Essentially women are expected to be nice and in always trying to be nice and well liked by our peers, we suppress our own feelings and emotions to be considered nice!
Her essays are interesting but doesn't really tell us anything new.
December 25, 2022
This was a quick easy read that brought the laughs. Comic relief because I too am nice though. What I appreciate the most is that it felt like a conversation. Like Mia were just shooting the breeze. I think I’ll backtrack and find “Weird but Normal”. And I will definitely follow her on IG. Twitter not so much, but only because it is harder to spend time there these days.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews