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416 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
Faith is what we earn when we have enough courage to face what’s in front of us.
She looked at him. She could feel his defiance. It radiated outward from the dark pools of his eyes and the solid plant of his feet. There was nothing of what she remembers of her son in him now. He’s moved beyond it somehow and she’s missed the passing.
You didn’t learn to cowboy by being graceful but you learned to be a man that way. First thing you had to learn in order to cowboy was how to fall. First thing you had to learn to be a man was how to stand up, dust yourself off and move on. The grace is in the dusting off.
That’s what everyone thinks, son. That it’s too late now. But we’re all tribal people. Every last one of us living and breathing right now started as the same kind of people. People who lived in community and together on the land. All the things we call Indian were the same for everyone at one time.
Because of that it is a difficult path and only the most courageous and purest of heart have the humility to walk it. It takes great strength, warrior strength, to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing, to wield the power of choice like a lance and probe the way forward to the fullest expression of who you are created to be.
I’m talking about us, son. I’m talking about the stories of the lives of a people. Doesn’t have to be a nation. Can be a family or a town, a valley like this or a broken-down old truck like that old girl out there. A dream wheel is the sum total of a peoples’ story. All its dreams, all its visions, all its experiences gathered together. Looped together. Woven together in a big wheel of dreaming.
He’d always been strong and tough, but Johanna had found a way to make him graceful. Graceful. You didn’t learn to cowboy by being graceful but you learned to be a man that way. First thing you had to learn in order to cowboy well was how to fall. First thing you had to learn to be a man was how to stand up, dust yourself off and move on. The grace was in the dusting off.
That’s what everyone thinks, son. That it’s too late now. But we’re all tribal people. Every last one of us living and breathing right now started out as the same kind of people. People who lived in community and together on the land. All the things we call Indian were the same for everybody at one time. The reason we get so far away from each other is because we’ve learned to think we’re different. But we’re not. Take anybody and put them in the middle of something as beautiful as that alpine lake up in the pass over there and they’re going to be touched by it, feel something move inside themselves. Hear that old voice that tells them they remember. It takes time and commitment to remember how to really hear it, but anyone can do it.
Sometimes we arrived back separately
but still seemed inside the borders
we crossed by accident
and went there if we think it real
but we do not think it real
There is one memory
of you smiling in the darkness
and the smile has shaped the air
around your face
someone you met in a dream
has dreamed you waking.
-Al Purdy, Borderlands
-=* Prologue *=-
The Old ones say that fate has a smell, a feel, a presence, a tactile heft in the air. Animals know it. It's what brings hunter and prey together. They recognize the ancient call and there's a quickening in the blood that drives the senses into edginess, readiness: the wild spawned in the scent. It's why a wolf pack will halt their dash across a white tumble of snow to look at a man. Stand there in the sudden timeless quiet and gaze at him, solemn amber eyes dilating, the threat leaned forward before whirling as one dark body to disappear into the trees. They do that to return him to the wild, to make all things even once again: to restore proper knowledge. The Old Ones say animals bless a man with those moments by returning him to the senses he surrendered when he claimed language, knowledge and invention as power.
The great bull sensed it and it shivered.
[...]
He heaved a deep, rib-expanding breath and let it go slowly. Beneath him the bull shuddered once then settled into a curious quiet. They sat there connected by the bull rope and one gloved hand, waiting. There was a smell in the air. Joe Willie shook his head once quickly to clear it, shivered his legs against the bull's sides, raised his right arm slowly to clear the top rail of the chute and nodded solemnly to the rope man at the front of the chute.
And the world exploded. (p.1, 7)