What to Say When: The Complete New Guide to Discussing Abortion

by Shawn Carney, Steve Karlen

What do I say when abortion and rape come up? What about "My Body, My Choice"? When should I avoid politics?

From "forced birth" to gender to "shout your abortion", much has changed since abortion was legalized in 1973, yet it remains the most controversial issue of our time. What to Say When equips you with proven approaches from the front-lines to help

Know exactly what to say (and not say) when abortion comes up
Balance converting hearts vs. winning arguments
Navigate the changing and bizarre new ways abortion is promoted
Go on offense and stay on topic when defending life

Genres: Politics, Nonfiction, Christian

Hardcover

Published September 7, 2021

Reviews

[Kayla Sisneros · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was pro choice for a long time. My only time that I thought abortion was “necessary” was in the case of rape. At a professional development I asked someone who was sharing pro-life apologetics that question. She responded, “ Why is abortion the only choice?” Since that moment, I have been searching for a book to better strengthen my pro-life apologetics. These sweet babies need their voices heard! This book gives answers I’ve been looking for and some I didn’t even know I needed! AMAZINGLY DONE!

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

What to Say When is the ultimate book for people who want to have meaningful conversations about abortion. This is a book you can pass from person to person. Whether you're pro life or pro choice, I recommend giving this book a chance. It may help answer any questions you may be asking. The book isn't preachy either. It's honest and backed up by reliable resources. My only gripe are the two chapters that change topic and discuss the history of Planned Parenthood and abortion in politics. Though those are very important topics and conversations to have, this book would have been perfect it it stayed on the theme of What to Say When. Once the two chapters are done, the book then goes back to the main theme in the final chapter, but it barely touches on the issues on "well, if you're pro-life, then why don't you support the baby once it's out of the womb and an adult?" It doesn't really talk much about the death penalty or foster care. Those are arguments I hear a lot of. Also, it would have helped to show stats, like charts. Visuals would have definitely helped.

[Jasmyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written by the founders of the 40 Days for Life campaign, this was such a detailed discussion on the arguments in support of abortion and how to go about discussing this topic. Each chapter discussed a different aspect of abortion: rape, health of the mother, artificial reproduction, etc and talked about what actually happens in each scenario. They have a lot of experience talking to pro-abortionists and I thought the takeaways were very good. Coming at everything from a place of love.

[Missy Funderburk · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is essential. Read it, share it, practice it. Arm yourself with truth and love so you can stop hiding and start saving lives.

[Rebecca W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly, highly recommend this book for everyone, not just pro-lifers.

[Rachel Askew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an incredible resource and guide for conversations about abortion. The authors are comprehensive, concise, and respectful throughout. I feel like I learned more than I expected I would.

I recommend and challenge anyone, no matter your beliefs, to read this book. It will give you much to think about.

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an incredibly important and helpful guide to respectfully and lovingly approach abortionists. I knew a lot of commons arguments that abortionists make, but this book gave my many more tools to argue effectively.

I highly recommend it.

[Jerry Mundt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who has ever taken a stand on one side or the other on abortion needs to read this book.

[Vicki Kolbinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very concise, informative & respectful of both sides.

[Chris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is abortion healthcare? Is abortion in the same category and of the same nature as performing a biopsy or setting a broken bone?

This book addresses the key phrases we see and say on the topic of abortion and does it in clear language. Some chapter titles: What NOT to say (I really loved this chapter), “My Body, My Choice,” Can Abortion Be Medically Necessary,? Rape, When It Turns Political, Planned Parenthood IS Abortion, and When They Change the Subject.

I’ve always felt intimidated speaking up on this topic despite my knowing that destroying innocent human life is evil and wrong. This book helped me recognize that being pro-life is “the most basic intellectual position on earth” and that it is “disrespectful to give credence to the defense of a barbaric procedure that kills an innocent person. We never give any credibility or respect to any other form of child abuse.” Most importantly, I appreciate the opening and closing chapters that address the spiritual battle.

“Abortion survives…because pain, confusion, and sometimes anger fuel a relentless push to keep it legal. That’s why our hearts and the tone we use when discussing abortion are critical.”
Proceeding with love as we defend the most innocent among us is the wise counsel of the authors. Their examples of what to speak gently against the most common arguments will help me speak on this subject with love, wisdom, and practical confidence.

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

“Labeling is expected, and we respond by staying the course and keeping the discussion focused on abortion.”
“To avoid speaking the truth about abortion is to cancel ourselves.” pg. 10
“Love and truth convert more hearts on more issues than any other approach.”
”Abortion is the only surgery on earth you are not supposed to survive.” pg 14
“We don’t believe life begins at conception; we know it does. …It is a verifiable scientific fact taught in medical schools, filmed with cameras, and shown by National Geographic.” pg 20

“Our faith compels us to defend (unborn babies).” pg 29
“Dehumanization is always a great moral evil.”
Health care is healing, not hurting. “The purpose of health care is simple: to restore and maintain the proper functioning of the human body.”

There’s nothing healthy about pitting a woman against her child. Abortion harms them both. “According to research from the British Journal of Psychiatry, post-abortive women face an 81% increased risk of mental health problems.” pg 53

A key part of recognizing and defending the dignity of rape victims is protecting them from further violence in the form of abortion.” pg 58
“We love rape victims so much we want to give them real options so they don’t fall into the temptation to try to correct evil with more evil. What to say: ‘The abortion will not remove the pain of the rape.’” pg 60

“Over the past three decades, the abortion rate has dropped by nearly 50%.” pg. 80
“Seeing body parts bothers the workers.” Pg. 107
Planned Parenthood “aborts more than 350,000 babies a year…” pg 129
“The strongest argument against abortion or any sin or injustice is sanctity. …this struggle is not against ‘flesh and blood’ but against our true enemy in this fight: the Devil.” pg 150

The example on pages 62-63 of two rape victims and their oppositive choices and consequences pierced my heart.

[Jocelynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that shares helpful tools and facts. The last chapter is my favourite as I do believe that if we lead people home to Christ, Holy Spirit will cover the rest. I realize there are people who don't know Jesus and are pro-life (of course) and so approaches are different, but for me, everything is about Jesus and bringing people to Jesus because he's changed EVERYTHING for me, and it's with His love, and His forgiveness, that I can do this work of changing hearts and minds, in a meaningful way.
I really appreciated the information about rape as those are topics that can feel tricky but I feel super equipped because of this book; and hearing from the two women's experience in the book, where one chose life and one didn't (both had been raped) and how much they both agreed that abortion is not the answer.... those were such powerful stories. God Bless this work.

[M. Marak · Rating 4 out of 5]

First e-book i ever purchased.

I decided to purchase my first e-book and I'm pleased to let you all know that I do not regret it. This is a pretty easy read. Unlike most books that lay out the case for the pro-life stance, this one stays focused on conversations on the street, at home and at other public places. Not that it avoids tackling the philosophical side of the abortion debate. It does but in a totally down-to-earth fashion that focuses on the average person. All in all, a good guide to discussing abortion.

[Sage Gaylord · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful book to read during such a pivotal point in our history. This issue can’t scare us into the corners anymore, nor should we be so abrasive we are ineffectual. This book gives you the tools to confidently give rebuttals to the most common arguments, but from a standpoint of grace and awareness that you’re locked in a battle for souls ultimately.

[Carol Fairman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is filled with wisdom and how to compassionately discuss the sanctity of life. I'm thankful for this book and the obvious care taken in writing it.

Some of what I read was shocking - I had no clue some of the ridiculous conversations that are happening.

Bottom line: educate yourself before engaging in conversations. You can't change minds, but God can use you to win hearts.

[Ryan Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful, thought provoking book. I was blown away at some of the things I’ve learned. It is an absolute treasure and teaches that not only are we in the business of saving preborn lives, but the lives of those who support abortion as well. Absolutely loved this book!

[Kate Dyson-D'Onofrio · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book that respectfully argues all pro choice arguments thoroughly. It provides clear factual answers for the questions that come up in these discussions. It is an important book for everyone to read, in order to be a voice for the voiceless.

[Kaethe Gallagher · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend reading this book!

[Nathan Bozeman · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best book I have personally read on the topic of abortion for discussing the pro-life position. If you need help with that topic, this is the one.

[Brace1737 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Abortion is a hot topic these days. Know how to defend your position against all forms of abortion by reading this short but powerful book.

[Millard Roswell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource

This is a well written resource backed up by numerous sources. Highly recommended for anyone wishing to defend the pro-life position.

[Ernie · Rating 5 out of 5]

insightful

If you are reading this to learn more and get better at debating your points, then this is the book for you

[Dan Wilde · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ Great info, just not the most well written book.

[Karen Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great information, easy to apply.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good and very informative.

[Bella Starr · Rating 5 out of 5]

What to Say When: The Complete New Guide to Discussing Abortion is a great book. I did not want to put this book down because I enjoyed it so much. There were issues that this book mentioned with society that contradicted with themselves and I learned a lot about abortion and Planned Parenthood. I'm going to recommend this book a lot.

[Chelsea Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that summarizes all you need to know when approaching pro-life apologetics! I also really appreciate the author's approach. It's so important to see who you are talking to as a person, instead of focusing on "winning" the argument. Would recommend!