How to Thrive as a Pastor's Wife: Practical Tools to Embrace Your Influence and Navigate Your Unique Role

by Christine Hoover

Every pastor's wife is a faithful servant and leader in her own right. She has great influence on her church, her community, her family, and her husband, and she finds joy in seeing God move in the lives of others. Yet she also faces unique challenges that too often go unnoticed and unaddressed. At times, a pastor's wife may feel she can't talk about her struggles even with those who are closest to her, which can leave her feeling alone, depleted, and misunderstood. She may settle for this way of living, but that's not God's desire for her.Christine Hoover knows firsthand the unique struggles and opportunities afforded a pastor's wife--she's been filling that role for more than 20 years. Coming alongside as an understanding friend, she offers encouragement and guidance to the struggling pastor's wife, showing her how to make meaningful personal relationships with God, her husband, her children, her church community, and other women--relationships that will sustain her and help her thrive.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Family, Christianity, Personal Growth, Christian Non Fiction

283 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 1, 2022

About the author

Christine Hoover serves as the Women's Ministry Associate at The Austin Stone Community Church's Northwest congregation in Austin, Texas. She hosts The Ministry Wives Podcast and has authored six books, including Messy Beautiful Friendship and How to Thrive as a Pastor's Wife, as well as a Bible study with Lifeway, Seek First the Kingdom. Her work has been featured on The Gospel Coalition, For The Church, and Christianity Today. Christine is married to Kyle, a pastor, and they have three boys. You can find her at her home online, www.christinehoover.net.

Reviews

[Christine Hoover · Rating 5 out of 5]

My new book is out in March! And it’s the one I’ve wanted to write for years. In other words, I’m super excited about this one and can’t wait to get it into your hands. I love and am passionate about encouraging and supporting pastors’ wives and women in ministry, and I poured every biblical passage that helps me and every practical lesson I’ve learned into this book. I specifically wrote with many “types” of pastors’ wives or ministry leaders and church contexts in mind, so that in whatever context you’re in, you might find something beneficial. And I tried to be as vulnerable and real about the challenges of ministry as I could, while also reminding us of the goodness of God. I hope you’ll check it out or, if you’re not a pastor’s wife, you’ll gift it to your favorite pastor’s wife. 💛

[Glenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

My endorsement:

In nearly two decades of ministry, I have been certain of two things: God has called my husband to pastor in the local church, and everyone will have an opinion about my role as his wife. Christine Hoover has given pastors’ wives a true gift in How To Thrive as a Pastor’s Wife. She explores our place in ministry, faithfully reminding us of our identity as believers in Jesus first and foremost. She helps us practically see how to guard our marriages and families while still serving Christ in our local churches. This was the book I needed twenty years ago, and I commend it to pastors’ wives everywhere.

[Christina DeVane · Rating 5 out of 5]

EXCELLENT book that I believe would be a help to all ministry wives! Some parts may apply more specifically to the pastor’s wife, but so much to be gained for any wife in ministry.

Having been a youth pastor’s wife for about 10 years, the author spoke to many of my biggest struggles - boundaries, burnout, identity, limits, seasons of small children, criticism, hurt, vulnerability, endurance, etc.🤗
She speaks in such a down-to-earth practical fashion. You will feel heard, understood, and seen. ❤️

A couple thoughts I may disagree with, but it made me think deeper especially as my children get older.

Too many highlights to share them all, but here is a small sampling.

📖 When I have tried to live up to a title, I’ve been driven to perform rather than serve God.

📖 We must reject inflated self importance. We are not the Christ.

📖 We are called to cultivate godly character more than we are called to fulfill specific tasks or activities.

📖 Finding your place in your specific ministry context means knowing your God-given spiritual gifts, passions, season of life, and personality. 🤩🤩🤩

📖 God sees, He is with you, and He will never leave you, He is worth it all!!! ❤️

📖 Hold people and the church loosely. Neither belongs to us; all belongs to God!

📖 A life of faith and service is consistent, hard work over a long period of time. It requires sacrifice, and self discipline. Give up trying to get quick results and immediate payoffs.

📖 He is worthy of any hardship we must endure in ministry because Jesus is our finish line! ❤️❤️❤️

[marylyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christine writes specifically for pastor’s wives but I found myself taking notes of ways to thrive in our church, in relationships, and in my marriage by being deeply rooted in an understanding of the gospel, knowing and trusting in the Lord’s love for me, and exhibiting healthy boundaries. It also gave me a greater respect and understanding of the unique pressures of ministry, encouraging me to pray for and encourage our leaders and their wives. After reading her first book for church planting wives, this book talks about how different seasons with the church and your family change, and I found it helpful and encouraging to me, as my seasons have changed. So thankful for this labor of love for wives in ministry…and for me.

[Jamie Chaplin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finally! A book on this topic that I don’t cringe at. Haha. I found this book to be really helpful, practical, and only like 2% unrelatable.

[Lauren Acosta · Rating 5 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️If I could give this more than 5 stars, I would. I loved this book. I’ve read several of her books and she’s just so relatable and helpful. You should read this book if you’re in ministry. It’s a good one.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose to read this book slowly because it was so rich, and I longed for the words to dwell deeply within me. Encouraging me to keep loving God, my family, and my church was one feeling I had after every chapter. Another emotion I felt was deep gratitude that while I was encouraged I was also greatly challenged to keep running the race before me. Confessing sin, asking for forgiveness, seeking out meaningful conversations with my husband, and choosing to share vulnerably with close friends were all results of my time learning and sitting with Christine for the past 6 months. Well worth the read! I’ve already gifted it to other PW’s and will continue to do so.

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much of this book resonated with me. I appreciate Christine's honest and transparent words about ministry life and the unique challenges that come with it. Serving the Lord by serving those He brings to our church and community is a privilege and joy, but it can also be heart-wrenchingly difficult. Christine calls pastors' wives to move their eyes from themselves and the people around them and fix them on Jesus. She then provides practical insights on how to resist the temptation to perform for others, faithfully reminding us of who we are in Christ.

[SK · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the most comprehensive book on what it's like to be a pastor's wife that I have read to date. Though I dislike the trendy phrase I felt seen, I can see why a pastor's wife might feel that way after reading this book. There is no ministry stone left unturned here. I appreciated Hoover's honesty and hard earned wisdom, as well as her obvious care for people in ministry. She "gets it" (both the joys and the pressures). That being said, the book never devolves into pity-party territory. She always encourages the reader to examine her heart before the Lord and to work hard for his glory and for the goal of loving and serving people well. She strikes me as a winsome and thoughtful person, and I would love to have a cup of coffee with her to pick her brain.

I found myself agreeing with most of her conclusions, though there were two things I had questions about:

1) To be honest, I didn't love the chapter written to the pastor. Somehow the tone just didn't land quite right for me; it felt a bit preachy.

2) She shares a lot of anecdotes from her life as a pastor's wife. Her transparency will no doubt be helpful and engaging to the reader, and it's worth pointing out that she always shares with discretion, never naming names or revealing too many details. The majority of these anecdotes serve the purpose of illustrating her own weakness and vulnerability; they are not there to point the finger or to highlight someone else's unkindness. That's clear. Still, I couldn't help but wonder how some of the stories shared might be perceived by her church family. Is it right to share a story that may be helpful to some pastor's wife out there but that could make someone from within her church family feel uneasy? For example, she writes very honestly about an incident at a staff dinner party in which she said something "unflattering" about a congregant from her church in front of some elders and their wives. She confesses to the reader that she knew immediately that she was in the wrong and later sought forgiveness and counsel from one of the elder's wives. Now, I tell you what. I found that story very helpful as a reader, but if I am a woman in Hoover's church, though I might resist this impulse, I know for a fact that the first thing that is going to cross my mind as I read that anecdote is, Who was that story about? and then seconds later as my pulse quickens, Could I have been the butt of that ill-conceived joke? Oh crap, what unflattering thing have I done/said/worn recently at church? I hope that I would be charitable and humble enough to not let it take up any more space in my brain than a momentary blip of low-grade worry, but I would wonder about it, as I expect a lot of people would in that situation.

Some might argue that any potential awkwardness or hurt feelings within the church family are worth Hoover's larger goal of supporting and encouraging women in ministry. Maybe that's true, but it did give me pause.

Overall, this is a helpful book and I'm glad I read it.

[Kyleigh Dunn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Until next week, this book is purely theoretical for me. So when I read it again in a few years I'll have to update my review.

But from this vantage point, on the cusp of my husband starting a full-time pastoral role, How to Thrive as a Pastor's Wife has a lot of advice specific to the unique circumstances of a pastor's wife and a lot of general wisdom for marriage and parenting. Some other books I've read on being a pastor's wife felt far too general and most of the advice applies to all marriages--so I appreciated that this book was more tailored. I liked it, put sticky notes in some parts to come back to (her lists of questions for assessing situations and your own heart are probably the best part).

However, it was also quite long and often wordy; I think it would have been better at closer to 200 pages.

And honestly, the best part for me was getting to read it alongside other pastors' wives and hear the joys and struggles of people I actually know.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book up not long after I stepped into the position of being an Elders (Pastors) wife. The first year had me grasping at straws on how to handle the pressures, and losses of relationships because of my husband’s position. I found myself becoming bitter at the church and in moments God but this book felt like a life saver when I felt like I was drowning. Christine’s words gave language to the burdens I didn’t know how to express and pointed me back to the joy and beauty of abiding in Christ. If you are walking alongside your husband in ministry I recommend this as a resource to remind you that you aren’t in this walk alone.

[Stephanie Smithson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was by far the most relatable book I have ever read regarding the role of Pastor’s wife. It is specifically helpful from the standpoint of both husband and wife being called to the ministry. Each spouse having been called prior to marriage can be difficult to navigate once bound by marriage. Christine did a wonderful job depicting the beauty of marrying two callings!

[Abigail Fields · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great book for anyone whose husband is in leadership in ministry! Some chapters in here offered new thoughts and perspectives while others were just good reminders. Felt really seen reading this!

[Jennifer Earle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this more than I realized I would. It was a great encouragement and comfort to read. I felt seen.

[Bethany Beasley · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Some parts of our lives involve more intimacy, accessibility, accountability, and priority than others. When relationships are in their proper place, there is vitality, life, blessing, and thriving, and threats to our spiritual, emotional, and relational well-being are kept out.

* all of Scripture speaks to this life we live.

*Being married to a minister is an honor, sanctification on steroids, and a rewarding opportunity to love God by loving others, but it's not an identity by which I can live.
It's simply the means by which I can serve others.

*Paul Tripp/ The most important encounter in ministry is not the person's encounter with us, but his encounter with Christ. Our job is simply to set up that encounter, so that God would help people seek his forgiveness, comfort, restoration, strength, and wisdom.

* Loving others, Jesus says, is for our joy. Thinking of ourselves, then, is not going to serve us well in ministry. It will only make us bitter and unable to receive with thanksgiving what is offered us.
When we live according to a false identity--anything other than a beloved servant of God-we're weighed down with tremendous burdens rather than held by an anchor.

*we're called to cultivate godly character more than we're called to fulfill specific tasks or activities.

*Titus 2:10 speaks of specific stewardship. Writing to bondservants, Paul encourages them to use their lowly position to “in everything ... adorn the doctrine of God our Savior."

*Whether in a "lowly" or “influential” moment of service, we're to make it our aim to adorn the gospel. We're to highlight its beauty and make it irresistible to others, and at the same time remind ourselves of its application and relevance to our own lives.

*1 Timothy 3:11
We're to be dignified: reverent, worthy of respect, and handling our influence thoughtfully, with careful intention.
We're not to be slanderers: exhibiting discretion in what we say and share and not being malicious gossips.
We're to be sober-minded: self-controlled and disciplined, not given to extremes.
We're to be faithful: thoroughly trustworthy and dependable.

*Your husband's obedience belongs to the Lord, but his covenant promise is to you not to the church. This is an important distinction that protects the health of the church, the pastor, and the pastor's wife and family.

*knowing my personality is God-given have helped me appreciate my limits and make decisions about my ministry involvement accordingly.

*{my husband} was carrying so many burdens for others that he couldn't seem to add mine to his load.

*We are still broken, sinful people in need of the very Savior we give away to others.

*in ministry, the work is never finished. We have to purposefully set it aside.

* Because he is the source of all wisdom (Col. 2:3), as we consistently walk with him and seek him, he grows in us the ability to apply biblical truth in the practical details of everyday situations and relationships.

* All of my relationships and roles are markers, boundaries, and signposts as to where the majority of my time and energy should go. Will there be an occasional yes to something outside of these primary rela-tionships? Of course, but they are rare, because a yes to something outside of what I know I'm to prioritize is most often a no to my husband and children.

*We become disciplined leaders when we consistently and prayerfully reevaluate what our few God-given passions are to be and then align our schedules and decisions accordingly. And as disciplined leaders were poised to deeply impact the kingdom of God.

*spend some time praying and thinking about where God is drawing boundary lines for you. Imagine a line down a page.
Consider one side of the line as his priorities for you and the other side as those good-but-not-essential opportunities.
Write down names, roles, commitments, and ministry areas on either side of the line so you can refer to them again and again and begin to adjust your schedule accordingly. Make sure you're not saying no to the priorities God is giving you by saying yes to too many opportunities on the other side of the line.

* What are you communicating by the way you schedule your life?

*John 15:4 / An impactful life is only an overflow of private devotion to the Lord.

* One way we fight against self-pity or isolation in our hidden vulnerabilities is to remember that the people we minister to have their own vulnerabilities we aren't aware of. They too come to church on Sundays with private hurts and hang-ups. They too wish others could understand their specific experiences. They too make sacrifices for the sake of the gospel. If we remember this, we starve any exceptionalism and isolation we're prone to and instead feed our empathy and faithful perseverance.
Each time I start to pity myself for what my husband's job means for me, I remember Proverbs 14:10: "The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy." In other words, there are feelings we have, both joyful and sorrowful, that ultimately cannot be understood by another person. Sometimes we can't even express how we feel to others, and sometimes even when we try, when we lay it all out, bare, we still aren't fully understood. There are limits to human love, and if we rely solely on human love for our comfort, we'll grow bitter and hard and distant from others in our disappointment.

* According to Mark Vroegop, lament is "the honest cry of a huring heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of Gods goodness.” Stacey Gleddiesmith elaborates further: "A lament honestly and specifically names a situation or circumstance that is painful, wrong, or unjust- in other words, a circumstance that does not align with God's character and therefore does not make sense within
God's kingdom.”
A lament expresses emotion: "You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak" (Ps. 77:4).
A lament at times holds our questions out to God. “Why, O LORD, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?
A lament can even be a complaint: expressions of sorrow, tears, frustration, and even confusion. In arrogance the wicked pursue the poor" (v. 2).

* Without lament, we feel and emote without also inviting truth to reign in our hearts and our hope to be reset in God.

* Self-protection is what causes my heart and even my body to clench up.
Psalm 5:11-12 is my go-to "unclenching” passage: But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love vour name may exult in you. For you bless the righteous, O LORD; you cover him with favor as with a shield.

* This is God's mercy toward us: no amount of human encouragement will ever meet the deepest needs of the heart.

* 1/What am I actually wishing for or hoping for in this circumstance? Is it a certain outcome or result? And is that outcome or result concerned with self-glory or God-glory?
2/What was I doing in the moments before I recognized my discouragement? Was I comparing myself to someone on social media? Was I attempting to control a situation and not getting my way? Was I scrolling through an internal litany of worries or possibilities that make me anxious?
3/ Am I focused on being faithful or rather on how I (or my husband or my children or our church) appear to other people?
Am I doing what I'm doing for the Lord or looking for some form of validation?
4/Where is my gaze? Am I staring hard at my discouragement, feeding and fueling it? Or am I making intentional efforts to react with a Godward response?

* Jani Ortlund// “Ministry marriages bear unique strains that often obscure the joys of building a lifelong romance. A woman marries a man, not his ministry, but somehow her husband's calling seeps into every aspect of their one-flesh relationship."

* one day, I realized with horror that I couldn't remember what "normal" was. What did we have to talk about except ministry?
What did we have to do except ministry? When was the last time we'd simply had fun together? Who were we apart from ministry?
When did we become solely a pastor and a pastor's wife instead of husband and wife, friends, and lovers? We'd given years to cultivating the church and little to cultivating our marriage. We'd coasted in one area because we were consistently moving at the speed of light in another. We'd sacrificed so much that we'd unwittingly even sacrificed our marriage.
And this wasn't a sacrifice we'd ever intended to make.

* Ministry life perhaps pulls us apart even more, because it multiplies the demands on our time, depletes our emotional and mental storehouses, and networks us with a large quantity of people who have needs, questions, and desires for connection. In other words, ministry constantly fights for the most prominent place in our marriage. The question then for each of us is, What will I do to purposefully cultivate a thriving marriage?

* "What can I do to help you set aside work and be mentally present with me at the end of the day or on your day off?”

* And, of course, there has to be a plan regarding your phones. If there is no plan, you’re choosing divided attention. Once again, this is a conversation that will be unique to you as a couple.

* When you're in ministry, sometimes play can seem frivolous. Who has time to recreate when your task is changing the world? After coming close to burnout, however, I now see that play and recreation are vital components of how God renews and refreshes us and keeps us happily connected as a couple. When we're renewed and refreshed, I we have so much more to give to our children and to others.

* sometimes I'm the only person aware of his {the pastor’s} needs.

*we can listen and respond in a way that either enhances his effectiveness in ministry or deadens it.

* I want to be the person who sees my husband's needs and seeks to meet them. I want to come alongside him and make his job easier. If that is the only thing I do as a pastor's wife, I've done well.

*Ezra // What happened for the temple builders also happens with us: gospel work is always met with resistance. This reststance leads to discouragement that, if we listen to it, causes us to lose our joy and zeal for the Lord's work. Though we continue working and going through the motions of ministry, our hearts grow hard and "building" stops on the inside, where God can see.

PARENTING IN MINISTRY:
* Our children do not share our calling in ministry.

* that raising kids in the ministry isn't just about managing Sunday mornings; it's about so much more. It's about the very hearts of our children.

*The goal in rearing our children isn't our sanity, our comfort, perfectly behaved children, or smooth Sundays. It is to give our children a lifelong love of God, his Word, and his church.

*Do you believe ministry life is an opportunity not only for your growth and flourishing but for your children’s growth and flourishing as well?

* the best thing I can do for my kids is give them the security of my bedrock trust in the Lord -that his ways are per fect and right. Just as this calling on my husband's life is for my good and growth, it's also for our kids good and growth. God is using this particular slice of life we live to form and mold them into the people he wants them to be.

* What does separation look like? Anything that affords our children undivided attention. Family fun. Play. Relaxation. Doing things or talking about what our children take interest in. Helping our kids pursue interests and friendships. Connection.

* Without an intentional choice regarding how we'll manage phone use, we parents are figuratively letting any and all through the gates into the sacred space where our children are being shaped and molded.

*The necessary ingredient is not the exact right words; it's relationship.

* While acknowledging there are some instances when he cannot help, when are times your husband can help? Does he know you need that help? You must voice your needs to him.
As part of the discussion with your husband, consider these ques-tions: What are the most important times and events for you to have his help? During what occasions at church do you most want to be together as a couple or family? What are the times and events during which your husband feels he needs to give his undivided attention to others? As you discuss these questions together, you may find that you're able to meet in the middle and work together as a team, both in ministry and in parenting.

*Remember, when your children are young, you are setting the culture of your family.

* Make sure they know that the standard for behavior is honoring Jesus and loving others- -period.

* In our home, when it comes to conversations, we rarely talk about church with our kids, aside from when we have a good story to tell or news about someone they know and love from the congregation.
We don't involve them in conversations about conflict, criticism, or personal hurts. However, we also don't shield them from suffering. We may share with them about a church member's miscarriage or a difficult health diagnosis so we can pray for that person as a family.

FRIENDS:
* if we don't deal with our hurts, friendship will be difficult for us. So know that God saw what that person did to you, and he'll deal with their sin, but don't become the sinner yourself in your inability to entrust vourself to the Lord's care and comfort. The Lord is your defense (Ps. 5:11-12) and gives such secure love that you can put yourself back out there and keep trying relationally.

* Don't think of yourself first as the pastor's wife. Think of yourself as a Christian who needs the gift and sanctification of community and friendship.

* Pastor's wife, honor all, be friends with a few, and engage in ministry relationships how God leads you. Friendship, in which you share your innermost thoughts and feelings, is reserved for the one or two who've proven trustworthy, godly, and persistent in reciprocation. Friendly with all, deeper in friendship with a few--that's my own motto that I'm passing along to you.

*first, identify: Who are trustworthy, godly women you can share yourself with? Look for those who approach you not as a role or according to who you're married to but rather as a person with strengths, faults, passions, emotions, convictions, and weaknesses.

* Vulnerability is not spewing every thought and emotion out on every woman, hoping it lands on someone who will resonate and be our friend. Vulnerability is intentionally sharing what is presently on our minds and hearts with the people in our life who have the ability and authority to respond.

* Take two goals with you into any conversation involving " your marriage: to honor and respect your husband and to focus on how you can grow and change. With these two goals in mind, we will never turn a conversation into a complaint session.

*Impressing is about image, perfection, performing, and evaluating. Connecting is about relationship and vulnerability.

*When I recognize my position before God, I'm humbled and able to embrace my limits.

*We must choose the path on the right, going to church not out of duty or as an extension of our husband's work but rather as a child of God preparing to worship.

* Being involved in spiritual work means spiritual warfare therefore the pastor's wife must be prepared for battle on Sunday mornings.

* With Sunday coming, pray for your husband. Pray he'd know the Father's love and, therefore, know he has no one to impress and nothing to prove. Pray for the Spirit to encourage and empower him to serve by the strength God provides. Pray he'll walk in integrity and humility.

* The people of your church are being shepherded by God, but you too are being shepherded by God. You too belong to God. You too are being cared for by God.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I had the privilege of being in a marriage preparation class taught by Kyle and Christine Hoover during our engagement. My memories of Christine are uniformly positive: of a kind, gifted teacher and communicator who clearly loved her husband and the Lord Jesus. That memory influenced my reading of this excellent book. The book itself is lovely, font and cover art, etc. The layout is nice, and no chapter feels overlong, though the sheer quantity of sections made the book a longer read. I read it on the heels of the Gloria Furman pastor's wife book, which was encouraging but had little practical help, and Hoover's had a lot, which was great but at times made the book daunting. As a pastor's wife of almost 19 years (my husband started his job as a college minister the week after we married and then a full-time pastorate at a rural church 15 years ago), reading it was sometimes painful because some of her stories hit close to home. On the whole it was encouraging and the good kind of challenging and it'll be my go-to recommendation for pastor's wives looking for an encouraging read.

[Jerelyn Kurty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!! This book was so helpful! It help me process through some emotions I didn’t know how to put voice to, it help me put words to some of the things I didn’t know how to explain, it reminded me of truths to take hold of and ways to have healthy relationships and communication. Though there may be some disagreement on her view of “calling”, I still found her perspective of “all of life” way of living and how the gospel influence it all helpful. Thank you for your gift of writing!!

[Colleen McFadden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christine hits on everything a pastor's wife would ask about. She writes from personal experience and humbly admits where she failed. The chapters on bitterness and disillusionment with ministry and people in the church were most helpful for me in my season of life. I'll likely return to this book in other seasons. Christine helpfully bases what she says on Scripture. It oozes out of her. Her writing is very readable. While the book is quite long (almost 300 pages!), I enjoyed reading all the way through.

[Meghan John · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thought-provoking, contemplative read that caused good discussion with my husband.

[Hanna Hickman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Christina said so many things I needed to hear!

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I’ve ever read on the topic. There was so much in here that was relatable and helpful.

[Cassidy Robinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such an encouraging read! It came at such a timely time for me, personally. Will definitely be recommending to all my ministry friends.

[Linzmkned · Rating 4 out of 5]

I appreciated the practicality this book had to offer. It spurred on a lot of thought provoking questions and was a fruitful read.

[Rachael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m encouraged and challenged by anything Christine writes and this book was no exception. Though she’s writing to pastors’ wives, I found many applications to my own role as a single woman in ministry, and Christine’s insight also gave me practical ways to pray for the pastors’ wives around me.

[Kyle Hoover · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! She speaks from so much experience and has learned so much through decades of life as a pastor's wife. She can relate to many experiences (a large church, church plant, medium size church) as well as different pastoral roles of her husband. You can almost read it like a reference guide, finding a particular issue you are facing and read the corresponding chapter. It is a great guide to wives on the journey about how to serve the Lord, love their husband, and relate well to the church. Much recommended (albeit biased).

[Stephanie Klahsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is definitely a resource I will be coming back to over and over again. It was all so grace filled with so much hope offered. I saw myself in many of the situations she described, ones that I have recently been struggling through. It felt like I was pouring out my own heart to her and she was responding with the truths that God so graciously gave her. I am so thankful for her ministry to women via her podcast and her writings.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have read a ton of pastor wives books in prep to one day be a pastors wife. This is the first one I’ve read while actually being a pastors wife and it is EXCELLENT. Every pastors wife should read this, you’ll feel seen, validated, encouraged, rebuked, & spurred on to keep running the race no matter the cost (mostly relational) because Jesus is worth it.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this was the most honest and helpful book I’ve ever read for pastors and ministry wives. I so appreciate Christine’s honesty with struggles and emotions surrounding being a pastors wife because I’ve felt sooo many of them and it seems nobody talks about them. I feel like my entire view of my role has chaged for the good. I will definitely return to this book again and again.

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciate Christine's honesty about being a pastor's wife. She is real about her experiences but also wants women to be grounded in truth from God's word. I highly recommend this book for pastor's wives. It's my favorite pastor wife book that I've read so far.

[Lexi Zuo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful book for weary and discouraged pastor’s wives. Christine is biblical, wise, and empathetic. This was a balm for my soul walking through a painful private situation. She helped me process through the awkwardness and grief in a scriptural way. Thank you! Highly recommend!