Future Tense: Why Anxiety Is Good for You (Even Though It Feels Bad) – A Psychologist's Paradigm Shift for Understanding and Hope

by Tracy Dennis-Tiwary

A psychologist confronts our pervasive misunderstanding of anxiety and presents a powerful new framework for reimagining and reclaiming the confounding emotion as the advantage it evolved to be. We taught people that anxiety is dangerous and damaging, and that the solution to its pain is to eradicate it like we do any disease—prevent it, avoid it, and stamp it out at all costs. Yet cutting-edge therapies, hundreds of self-help books, and a panoply of medications have failed to keep debilitating anxiety at bay. A third of us will struggle with anxiety disorders in our lifetime and rates in children and adults continue to skyrocket. That’s because the anxiety-as-disease story is false—and it’s harming us. In this radical reinterpretation, Dr. Tracy Dennis-Tiwary argues that anxiety is an evolved advantage that protects us and strengthens our creative and productive powers. Although it’s related to stress and fear, it’s uniquely valuable—allowing us to imagine the uncertain future and compelling us to make that future better. That’s why anxiety is inextricably linked to hope. By distilling the latest research in psychology and neuroscience, including her own, combining it with real-world stories and personal narrative, Dennis-Tiwary shows how we can acknowledge the discomfort of anxiety and see it as a tool, rather than something to be feared and reviled. Detailing the terrible cost of our misunderstanding of anxiety, while celebrating the lives of people who harness it to their advantage, she argues that we can—and must—learn to be anxious in the right way. Future Tense  blazes the way for a paradigm shift in how we relate to and understand anxiety in our day-to-day lives—a fresh set of beliefs and insights that allow us to explore and leverage even very distressing anxiety rather than to be overwhelmed by it. Through this new prism of thinking, even anxiety disorders can be alleviated. Achieving a new mindset will  not  fix anxiety itself—because the emotion of anxiety is not broken; the way we cope with it is. By challenging our long-held assumptions about anxiety, this book provides a concrete framework for how to reclaim it for what it has always been—a gift rather than a curse, and a source of inner strength, joy, and ingenuity. 

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Mental Health, Health, Personal Development, Audiobook

256 pages, Hardcover

Published May 3, 2022

Reviews

[CraftyBirdies · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’ve read a number of books on anxiety, and I didn’t care for this one. It cited a lot of studies, which I always like because support validates a book for me. Also, it acknowledged that correlation doesn’t mean causation, which is vital.
I had three main issues with this book, and each one caused a loss of a star.
First, it has a lot of information on kids and parents. A lot. I’m not a child or a parent, and my anxiety came in my 30s. My situation made a lot of the book not relevant to me, and I feel this book was targeting a specific population, which didn’t include me. I wouldn’t have minded if the description of the book mentioned this, but it didn’t.
Second, the author spends the vast majority of the book addressing how our current thinking of anxiety is wrong and why. That means there is minimal room for action items, ways to practice them, examples, etc. That makes this book feel more intellectual than helpful for me. I know not all ideas speak to everyone, but perhaps it would have spoken to me more had I read more practical implementation strategies and options.
Third, and perhaps the biggest hurdle for me, is the author’s detailed arguments about how our current strategies for anxiety are so so wrong and terrible came off as offensive to me as someone in the middle of those strategies. The arguments were so black and white that I felt like they were saying I was wrong for taking anxiety meds. Only specific types of drugs are addressed when discussing anxiety meds, and there was no mention of other types. This narrow focus suggests all anxiety meds are addictive, hazardous, dangerous, and make us numb. I don’t argue that these issues exist, but the book came across as biased and over generalizing when addressing medication. It’s hard to enjoy a book that indicates all anxiety patients taking meds are addicts…. “We don’t see ourselves as addicted when we have a prescription or when we take a drug just when we ‘need it.’ “

[Krista · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is going to change my life. I was diagnosed with cancer just over a year ago and I've had horrible health anxiety culminating in a major panic attack in a movie theater because I convinced myself I was going to get a blood clot from sitting down for 2 hours. Today I went to a movie theater again with a manageable amount of anxiety. I thought through the ideas in this book and was able to accept and learn from my anxiety without letting it take over. Nearly a year of therapy had minimal impact but this book has helped me to reframe my thought process rather than try to totally erase anxious thoughts. I hope this author continues her research and writing, but for certain I will be re-reading this book for years to come.

[Courtney (BooksStringsandThings) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heard an interview with the author on NPR and decided to pick this up on audiobook. I really loved the information presented in this book and the author's perspective on how to reconsider our anxiety. It reminded me of The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It by Kelly McGonigal. Both pointed out that stress and anxiety aren't negative in and of themselves, it's more how we RESPOND to them that matters. We can't go through life without experiencing both, so we need to know how to actually handle them in the best way we can manage.

[Laurie Thurston · Rating 3 out of 5]

A light read with some interesting insights, but nothing earth shattering. There are some practical tips and ways of reframing the experience of anxiety for people. If you are severely struggling, however, this is not the book for you. Lots of assumptions that you can just ‘take control and change things’ which — for some people— can’t do that easily.

[Michael Richter · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a frustrating book, because I hoped to learn more about stress and anxiety from a clinical standpoint, and how to use it, or deal with it appropriately. Unfortunately the book didn't really go into much detail about scientific studies on the matter, and only in the last chapter did we get any concrete advice on how to handle anxiety. Too little too late.

[Faith Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

I give this 3.5 stars under the assumption this is primarily for people who struggle with mild to moderate anxiety. With that purpose in mind, I think it is a unique and hopeful perspective on anxiety. However, those in the midst of severe or chronic anxiety might not benefit as much from this book, since a lot of concepts felt a bit over-generalized for the wide spectrum that anxiety can be. For example, the principle of “If your anxiety is not useful, let it go” seems clearly more suited for mild anxiety. Also, the author kind of rants against anxiety medication as a way we’ve decided to numb ourselves instead of just recognizing how useful anxiety can be. Those with really severe anxiety will likely not jive with that chapter.

While I don’t feel like I’m necessarily on board with everything in this book, I still feel like I learned enough from it that it was worth the read! I appreciated a more hopeful perspective on anxiety and I will likely refer back to some of the concepts I learned here.

[Rachel Bayuk · Rating 3 out of 5]

After hearing this author on Armchair Expert podcast, I was really excited to read this. However, the actual book was much less interesting and compelling as the conversation I heard. The author explores how anxiety and positive stress benefits you. It was much more clinical than I wanted and didn’t leave me with great calls to action for myself. It fell flat for me beyond reframing anxiety as potentially a good thing.

[Robin]

Good concept, but I don’t think it was worth a whole book. It could be conveyed better in a article much shorter.

[Nina Bwin]

This a good book about how to work with “normal”anxiety.

[Meghna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Meh - sure I got a few interesting details from it but did this need to be a whole book? Not really.

[Tali Nay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and found that it made a lot of sense to me. All the lead-up and explanations behind anxiety and its cultural evolution was very interesting….I just perhaps would have liked more of the book to be solution/suggestion based, when really it’s just 3 brief pieces of advice at the end. Overall very good read though.

[Qin Lin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book by a fantastic scientist! Refreshing take on anxiety that is very much needed - no more of the disease model. We need to accept our anxiety, show compassion & befriend it!

[Jung]

Future Tense (2022) puts to rest a huge and socially pervasive myth about anxiety: that it’s bad and should be avoided at all costs. Today, anxiety is considered an illness – something that should be treated with medicine or coped with in some other way. But that isn’t the case. Ultimately, anxiety is simply information, and it’s incredibly important for our survival. It’s up to us to make the best use of it.

Tracy A. Dennis-Tiwary, Ph.D. is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Hunter College, the City University of New York, where she directs the Emotion Regulation Lab, and is cofounder of the digital therapeutics company Wise Therapeutics. She received her doctoral and postdoctoral training in clinical psychology at The Pennsylvania State University and New York University School of Medicine. She has published over one hundred scientific articles in top peer-reviewed journals and delivered more than three hundred presentations at academic conferences and for corporate clients. Dr. Dennis-Tiwary has been featured throughout the media, including the New York Times, the Washington Post, CBS, ABC, CNN, NPR, and Bloomberg Television. She lives in New York City.

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Learn how to stop avoiding anxiety – and use it to your advantage instead.

No one likes feeling anxious. It’s a feeling that’s impossible to ignore; it’s distressing, and it can even be debilitating.

But, in a way, anxiety also acts like a good friend. It tells us something – maybe something we don’t want to hear, but something important nevertheless. It warns us about potential consequences of our actions, outcomes that could happen in an uncertain future.

Don’t get us wrong: anxiety isn’t something you should glorify, seek out, or depend on. Instead, you should simply create a new mindset around it – one in which you explore anxiety, learn from it, and use it to your advantage. This summary will teach you why anxiety is necessary – and then show you how to make the most of it.

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Anxiety isn’t the problem – our ways of coping with it are.

Butterflies in the stomach. A pounding heartbeat. A tight throat. Thoughts that loop over and over.

This is what anxiety feels like. But what causes it? Ultimately, anxiety always stems from something bad that we imagine could happen but that hasn’t actually happened yet. We experience it as a sensation in our bodies – tension, agitation, and jitteriness – and a quality of our thoughts: apprehension, dread, and worry.

Anxiety can be less or more intense. Regardless, we can usually talk ourselves through it and dial it back to a point where we feel comfortable and not overwhelmed.

However, we sometimes end up using the wrong thoughts and behaviors to cope with or avoid our anxiety. In doing so, we make it worse. When we begin to do this more often than not, normal anxiety transforms into an anxiety disorder.

The key characteristic of an anxiety disorder is a functional impairment – something that prevents you from living your life normally. For someone with an anxiety disorder, the distress caused by their feelings can last weeks, months, or years, and it interferes with their home life, work, and relationships.

Almost 20 percent of adults in the US – that’s over 60 million people – live with an anxiety disorder every year. Thirty-one percent of American adults will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. Yet fewer than half of people with anxiety show lasting change from therapy.

One reason for this is that many people cope with anxiety poorly. Take the hypothetical example of Kabir, who at age 15 began feeling afraid to speak during class. Before having to give presentations, he refused to eat, didn’t sleep, and worried constantly. As time went on, he began to fear going to school altogether. He started missing days, which caused his grades to suffer. Then he began to feel afraid of any social situations whatsoever. He avoided parties and swim meets because of this fear. Over the following months, Kabir broke off all of his friendships and started to experience severe panic attacks.

Kabir went from feeling highly anxious to developing social anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and panic disorder. But his anxiety itself was not the problem. The problem was his way of coping with the anxiety – his refusal to eat and sleep, his staying home from school, and his isolating himself from his friends.

Kabir’s solutions helped him avoid his anxiety. But in doing so, they just intensified his feelings. In the following chapters, we’re going to discuss some much healthier coping mechanisms for anxiety.

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Let go of your anxiety when it isn’t useful.

On the surface, anxiety seems to have a lot in common with fear. But there are a few important differences.

Imagine reaching into a box in your attic, like the author did one day, and feeling something furry and alive. You immediately snatch your hand back, your heart racing and your mind alert. You look inside the box and see that it’s a harmless little mouse. You close the box, bring it downstairs, and release the mouse outside. Your heart rate slows back down, and you’re calm again. You’ve responded to the danger and alleviated the fear, which is a reflexive, automatic response.

Anxiety is different. You feel anxious the next time you reach into a box in your attic, uncertain whether you might find another rodent hiding in there. Anxiety makes you feel apprehensive about an imagined future and vigilant about what might happen. And that’s why it’s hard to bear: it happens in between learning that something bad could happen and then waiting for it to arrive.

Anxiety is useful when it provides you with information that you can act on here and now, or at least in the near future. But it’s not always useful or straightforward. It’s worth getting to know the difference.

Say you wake up thinking about a problem your daughter is dealing with at school, a presentation you have to give at work that day, or a major repair you need to have done in your home. You tell yourself to stop thinking about it. But your thoughts keep circling back anyway. This type of anxiety is a signal telling you what exactly is bothering you and how you should act to get rid of it. This is the useful type of anxiety.

Now, on the other hand, imagine that you go to the doctor for a biopsy on a strange-looking mole. There’s nothing you can do, no action you can take, until you get the results back and find out if it’s cancerous or not. You’re trapped in your anxiety, feeling overwhelmed and helpless. This is a useless form of anxiety.

So what do you do when you feel that kind of useless anxiety? The best – and perhaps only – option is to set it aside for later.

This doesn’t mean suppressing the anxiety, ignoring it, or trying to erase it. Instead, it just means taking a break from it and coming back to it later, when you might find that it has lessened or even gone altogether.

Overwhelmingly, research shows that the best way to let go of anxiety is to immerse yourself in the present moment. One way to do that is to step outside and go for a walk in nature. Take the time to focus deeply on the intricate details of the trees. Notice the play of light filtering through the branches, and examine the veining on the leaves. Perhaps listen to some music to help transport your mind elsewhere.

This will give you some space and time away from your anxiety, breaking its vicious cycle. When you come back to it, you’ll be better able to think about and study it so you can find a way to make it useful – or at least less overwhelming.

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There was a lot of great information, but the most important thing to remember is this:

Anxiety has a bad reputation. It’s a sensation that no one wants to feel, and everyone seems to want to avoid. However, anxiety evolved as a way for us to plan and prepare for an uncertain future, to address potential threats, and to let us know when we’ve taken actions that will be good for us. Instead of trying to escape anxiety, we should shift our mindset to view and use anxiety as the helpful tool that it really is.

Another quick word of advice:

Strive for excellence, not perfection.

Like anxiety, perfectionism is a state that keeps us focused on the future and caring about whether we’re taking the right actions. Perfectionism can stimulate us to achieve and create. But⁠ it also causes us to hold ourselves to unrealistic, overly demanding expectations that make us relentlessly self-critical when we fail to meet them. Instead of perfectionism, strive for excellencism – setting high standards but not beating yourself up when you don’t meet them. Be open to trying new experiences and approaches to problem-solving, and treat your mistakes as learning experiences rather than reasons to criticize yourself.

[Kate Cornfoot · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I've read on anxiety. We live in a culture that pathologizes anxiety and uncomfortable feelings; the research in this book shows us that it can be our teacher, our friend, and an unpleasant feeling trying to point the way forward. No one is denying the reality of debilitating anxiety but this book focuses on the everyday varieties that have a purpose and should not be numbed out. Super accessible and entertaining too!

[Tariq Mahmood · Rating 5 out of 5]

coping with anxiety is the key, instead of rejecting and being afraid of anxiety, we need to develop ways of dealing with anxiety which is a perfectly normal emotion required to progress our lives.

anxiety is information, so be curious about your anxiety, listen to your anxiety.
sometimes anxiety is useless, so analyse it and reject it if is irrelevant.
but sometimes anxiety is useful way to develop our personalities for the better.

[Jessica Van Den Heever · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seker een van my favourite boeke! Ek wil dit reread. Mens moet anxious voel! Dis mens se super power, dis wat mens laat act en achieve. Dis net n gevoel soos wat sad en happy is. Nie n disease nie. Modern world maak asof dit n siekte is wat medisyne kort. Dis net n gevoel war kom en gaan. Embrace dit, luister vir dit

[Sarah Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had like 3 interesting tidbits, but so much of it I did not care for and did not make sense. The author acknowledges that anxiety is a catch-all word for many feelings, replacing what we used to call stress, and then goes on to talk about how it’s good not bad but without really defining which anxiety we are talking about. Yes, I get that a goal of eliminating anxiety is like the goal of eliminating pain. If we are talking in totality, of course that’s not a good idea because of course, like pain, anxiety is delivering information that something needs to be tended too. But anxiety is on a scale like pain and is often debilitating and wrapped up in other mental health issues and physical health issues and I’m not really sure what this book was trying to accomplish other than to say 1) anxiety in of itself is an emotion not a disease, and is therefore normal, and 2) if we listen, anxiety is information that tells us what we care about and can fuel positive action. But is all of that a deep revelation??!

[Kennedy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book but unfortunately I felt that it fell short in some really important ways. Several times throughout the book I got the impression that this book about anxiety was written by someone that has never experienced true debilitating anxiety. Particularly when it came to frowning upon medication use for the disorder. The author mentioned several times the “addictive” effects of anxiolytics which is just an outdated view. There was no mention of how great SSRIs have been to help people bring their symptoms to a manageable level and despite the addictive potential of benzodiazepines they still have an important time and place in modern medicine. While I appreciated some of the studies and discussions surrounding the evolution and certain benefits of anxiety, some people can’t just “think of something else” as the author pretty much suggests at the end..

[Jessica Schenk · Rating 4 out of 5]

What this book is not: it is not a guide on how to manage anxiety or treat severe symptoms.

What this book is: a review of how we can do better as society in how we approach mental health and use our anxiety to be our best selves. Kind of a how to be empowered by our anxiety.

Excellent audiobook, so much that I want to get a physical book and give it a second read.

The author provided lots of studies and scientific examples and just enough personal experiences and commentary to make it approachable. The only other thing I might have liked is more examples on how this idea might apply to diverse populations and across different socioeconomic levels.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great, clear, thoughtful book by a leading anxiety researcher. We have some differences of opinion (e.g., trigger warnings and safe spaces) and I imagine people experiencing more "everyday" forms of anxiety would find the advice more helpful than people struggling with clinical levels of anxiety, but still a great overview of the current state of knowledge on these topics.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

To paraphrase the author on page 188, the book isn’t about overcoming your anxiety but learning to listen to what your anxiety is trying to tell you and then acting on that information. The book felt longer than it needed to be, but the sentiment was great.

[Kelly Greenwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

Clear and well written, with advice on the benefits of anxiety, and how seeking to listen to it and learn from it can be helpful. Worry, dread and distress over uncertainty can be important warning signs; signals to think about what is going on, and plan how to react. Anxiety is uncomfortable, so we need to try to resolve it.

Key messages from the book I want to remember:

Anxiety itself is not the problem. "The problem is that the thoughts and behaviors we use to cope with anxiety can make it worse." Don't let anxiety get in the way of living life. Anxiety disorders impair one's day to day activities and well being; interfere with home, work, and time with friends.

"From a functional perspective, anxiety is a fascinating emotion, because it acts a lot like fear but contains qualitied of hope." Too much anxiety can lead to a "threat bias": seeing the world through the lens of negativity, getting stuck on negative information, and ignoring evidence we are actually safe and sound. "Anxiety ,like hope, gives us the endurance to keep going and the focus and energy to work toward what we desire. when we think of them this way, we see that anxiety and hope are not opposites: they are two sides of the same coin."

"The past tense is slow and narrative, giving us the ability to create a comfortable story to tell. the present tense is a circuitous stream of experiences meandering along. But the future tense is dynamic, full of momentum, surging forward toward an ending that hasn't happened yet but we want to make happen."

"Anxiety is a wellspring of creativity because it is uncomfortable. If we allow ourselves to experience discomfort, then we want to resolve it. We need to. So we take actions that will make our lives better and create the future we want. Turning our backs on anxiety means turning our backs on possibilities."

Excellencism as a goal, instead of perfectionism: set high standards, but don't beat yourself up if you fail to meet them. ***

"Antifragility is the opposite of fragility. It's the quality of growing stronger because of challenges difficulties or uncertainties. That makes it distinct from related concepts such as resilience, robustness, and the ability to resist and bounce back form a challenge. Antifragile things don't just bounce back like a flexible branch that doesn't snap in a storm; they actually gain from randomness, volatility, and disorder. They need chaos to flourish.
That's why humans are fundamentally antifragile."
"Anxiety is antifragile, too. When we allow ourselves to feel the discomfort of worry, fears, and uncertainties, we are challenged - but we are also motivated to take actions that overcome problems and east the pain, As a result, we will manage anxiety better the next time."

The 3 principles:
1. Anxiety is information about the future; listen to it.
2. If anxiety isn't useful, let it go for the moment.
3. If anxiety is useful, do something purposeful with it.

Last 2 paragraphs of the book:
"Don't rethink anxiety. Don't neutralize it. Reclaim it as you would a lost history or a forgotten gift in a box in the top of your closet. It can be strength, and like any true strength, it contains vulnerabilities. Through these vulnerabilities you will find your best and truest self.
"By rescuing anxiety, we rescue ourselves."

[Jessica Cunningham · Rating 4 out of 5]

I discovered this author from her interview on the podcast Hidden Brain, and had found her ideas very compelling. I listened to this as an audiobook in a single day. As a whole, this book was digestible enough to do that, but had enough intricacy and depth that I wanted to pause a few times to jot down some sticking points for myself.

I really enjoyed the hopeful message in this book that came from reframing anxiety as an inevitable, functional emotion that can be used as an asset, as opposed to a flaw to be hidden, dissolved, or ashamed of.

Additionally, I appreciated the author’s approach to mindfulness and present-tense focus. Anyone who knows anything about mental health treatment understands how vital present orientation and grounding techniques are, but I am of the opinion that mindful, present-focused gospel too often is watered down and overemphasized to the point of neglecting other factors, not unlike toxic positivity (or at least it reminds me of that). I appreciated the author’s attention to the role that future oriented anxiety plays in creativity and innovation. I felt empowered by the author’s validation of the role that future oriented thinking has the potential to play in preparedness, problem solving skills, and aspiration. Notably, the author demonstrated the value of all tenses (past, present, and future) in how we navigate and experience life, and I appreciated that integrated perspective.

Generally speaking, I often find writing that relies heavily on many different analogies to feel a bit distracting, but in this case, I found the analogies to be extremely potent. I found a lot of quotes that I truly wanted to remember and go back to in the future.

My only criticism, and this is honestly specific to me as an individual, not so much about the work itself, is that I think I was almost hoping the material would dig into anxiety disorders more. I was hoping to see more connections and depth between the key ideas of the book to anxiety disorders. There is certainly information there to infer and apply, but I almost wish there was more. Again, I understand that that wasn’t the purpose of this book, which is why I still give it 4 stars, but I selfishly wish there was more digging into these concepts in relation to disorders.

Overall, I was hoping for a thought provoking read when I started, and in the end, I felt that this book accomplished that. It inspired me and demonstrated a new way that I can see myself and the world, and I like that.

[Susan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am not particularly fond of this book, for several reasons, though I can see that it may be helpful for some people with mild anxiety who just need a reframe.

First, it very much demonizes medication use, discussing only a few kinds of meds (e.g. benzos) and making pretty much all use sound like addiction. I am very much of the opinion that brains need neurotransmitters, and if your brain doesn’t make all the right ones on its own, getting yours from an outside source is just as legitimate as having your body make them independently.

Second, most of this book is a treatise on convincing the reader that anxiety is OK, and we just need to think about it differently. There are a few embedded examples of studies where people were told to do this and it helped (for the duration of the study, at least), but almost no information on *how* to do this. I can explain that juggling is multiple balls in the air thrown in patterns till I’m blue in the face, but if I don’t tell you *how* to practice each step, you’ll never juggle. Yet she implies that this should be easy.

Third, I do think this book may have value for people with mild to moderate anxiety, and may even decrease some anxiety for people with severe anxiety, but for people with severe anxiety, I think it’s pretty pointless. When the author does finally get to a (very short) section with strategies, the second point is “If anxiety isn’t useful, let it go for the moment.” She suggests doing this by distracting yourself or going for a walk in nature. This is ridiculous advice, akin to telling someone with severe and chronic depression that running will help.

Of course all anxiety is not an illness, and of course as an emotion it exists to tell us something about our environment, but that does not mean that sometimes our brains don’t go overboard and we truly need outside support. This book doesn’t offer that support, and makes those who need it feel like less.

(And besides, there are lines like the last line of Chapter 2, where Dennis-Tiwary writes, “When we think of them this way, we see that hope and anxiety are not opposites. They are two sides of the same coin.” But let me ask you, aren’t the opposite sides of one coin… opposites?)

[Valerie (Pate) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I really did. I wanted it to tell me something new and profound about anxiety - and how one could work with it to make it less debilitating and more bearable. I sped through the first few chapters at lightning speed, enjoying Tiwary's style and admiring her detailed and informative research. Then I reached the part in which she criticizes medication, warning us that dampening the symptoms of anxiety makes it impossible for us to 'befriend' it and use it to our advantage, and that is when my opinion soured. As the mother of a teenager who suffers from an acute anxiety disorder, I can wholeheartedly attest that I had thought my beautiful, funny, curious daughter might be lost to me forever until a simple prescription for anxiety medication brought her back to us. She hadn't been eating, was dangerously underweight, was joyless and disengaged, was rageful and violent, contemplating self-harm, and it was only through the miracle of modern medicines that she was able to sit her exams and progress on to college classes. I take offense when anyone makes sweeping negative statements about mental health drugs, having been on antidepressants for the majority of my life. I recognize that anxiety can, indeed, be a call to action, a force that drives us forward and has promoted the survival of our species. I showed up to hear about all of those things, but the minute Tiwary made generalized statements without mentioning the necessary caveats or exceptions, I was unable to fully focus upon her rose-colored vision of anxiety awakening the world at large to a better life. She is obviously a very intelligent author, but my personal experiences proved to be much too large a stumbling block for me to get on-board with her assessment.

[Mark Moloney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anxiety is fundamentally a human emotion

Anxiety is what we feel when something bad could happen but hasn’t happened yet

Anxiety causes us to be more detail-oriented - we tend to see the trees but not the forest

Positive emotions have the opposite effect , hence broaden and build. They broaden our perspective and help us build resources and resilience

Anxiety itself - worry , dread ,distress over uncertainties , panic etc - is not the problem.

The problem is that the thoughts and behaviours we often use to respond to that anxiety often make it worse (maladaptive)

Planning for even the most mundane events manages our anxiety
Thinking about Brushing our teeth , cooking the dinner or cleaning up
Helps manage those feelings

Devoted list makers, present company included, already know this

When self control and willpower is low, our closeness to loved ones can fill the gap

Antifragility as a concept by Talleb
What breaks you can make you stronger ie antifragile

Anxiety is information about the future : listen to it.

This book was an incisive read on anxiety: a little dull but carrying great insights.

[Aiah Ulan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to admit that this type of writing, expository, isn't really to my liking. However, since I enjoyed the topic, I was able to persevere through the pages.

Having an anxiety disorder made me researched and read a lot about anxiety but this is the first time I was awakened by this new learning. I learned through this book that anxiety isn't meant to be overcomed but to be understood so I can find ways to better my life. It makes so much sense.

I like the comparison about the immune system where we need to be exposed to certain bacterias and germs in order for it to be strong. In the same way, we need challenges and struggles for our emotional immune system to be strong as well.

I have accepted that anxiety is an advantage to me. One that notifies me beforehand if I need to rest or slow down. It's a good notification instead of waiting for me to get sick. However, through this book, I was able to learn all other benefits of anxiety.

Anxiety indeed is always painted as a villain but after reading this book, I can say, anxiety is the star of the show.

[Jay Best · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anxiety impacts 20% to 30% people, and it's something that has become more and more impactful than it has in previous generations. Traditional therapy only helps in about half the cases.

This book is drawing from a new and fairly revolutionary study which is framing anxiety as less an illness that must be avoided and scary, and more that this is a helpful pointer that there is something that needs your attention.

New studies show that if you know that anxiety is something that may happen and its to be expected and not always feared, then this in itself reduces the overall fear.

This is not one of those "just don't worry and stop being sad / harden up" forms of advice, it's balanced and empathetic advice and it's giving new research and new tools.

Listened via @Blinkist at 2x speed (15min Audio).

[Doug · Rating 2 out of 5]

Kind of a cross between The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence and the early chapters of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. IOW, I agree with the author's intent, but I didn't learn anything new. I was distracted/annoyed by how the definition of "anxiety" seemed to morph across a wide range of internal states and pathologies, which probably makes the book the perfect skeleton key for anyone use that word in any of those ways. But that's not what I'm looking for.

[Malte Rothmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reluctantly have to give this book 5 stars. It is written very simply, and explains its logic very well. It really did help me a lot on my anxiety, and I would recommend it especially to anyone who struggles with it. But I do wish it spend more time tackling the more ephemeral anxiety the sota unexplained no reason type of anxiety.

The book is also sometimes frustrating. For example when it constantly tries to use evolutionary explanations, that seem more like opinions or random theories. Yet it is not presented as such.

I think if you have some amount of healthy skepticism and you are able to accept what this book is trying to do and what it is not, it's a great read. Probably the best "self help" book I have read.