How to Find Yourself: Why Looking Inward Is Not the Answer

by Brian S. Rosner, Carl R. Trueman (Foreword)

A Christian Answer to the Identity Angst of Our Culture   In the 21st-century West, identity is everything. Never has it been more important, culturally speaking, to know who you are and be true to yourself. Expressive individualism―the belief that looking inward is the way to find yourself―has become the primary approach to identity formation, and questioning anyone’s “self-made self” is often considered a threat or attack. Prompted by his own crisis of identity, Brian Rosner argues that personal identity is formed not only by looking inward, but also by looking around to your relationships, backward and forward to your life stories, and upward to God. In  How to Find Yourself , Rosner equips readers to engage sympathetically with some of the most pressing questions of our day. Challenging the status quo, he offers an approach to identity formation that leads to more secure and joyful being known intimately and personally by God and following the script of Jesus’s life story.

Genres: Christian, Cultural, Christian Living, Theology, Christianity, Faith, Psychology

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 17, 2022

Reviews

[Madeleine Correy-Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is what I would call an anti-self help self help book, shattering the illusion of the self made self, and the faith people have put in expressive individualism, a trap that everyone Is vulnerable to. The author acknowledges this vulnerability while providing hope rather then condemnation for the confusion that has emerged out of our self focused society. Practically looking at our interactions not within ourselves but outside of ourselves, and the influence of external factors on our perceptions of identity.

Rosner provides not only helpful bible based reflections but also practical social commentary on our modern epoch and contemporary views on identity and how it became what it is today. He finishes with putting into perspective our identity in Christ, and provides a broader image for our whole selves to be brought before God. Rather then suppressing our personality, we celebrate in the relief of not being able to find ourselves within ourselves, but rather in Christ.

[Bailey Edrington · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone wanting to do a little cultural exegesis, might I recommend this book? This book made me rethink all the other five star reviews I’ve given to date because it is exceptionally helpful and so profound. I want to buy copies in bulk and hand them out to any willing reader.

Rosner masterfully synthesizes the strategies of identity formation in our cultural moment and exposes them as faulty, fragile, and failing. He calls us to take up a biblical worldview, and masterfully proves that it’s not just a Christian imperative, but it is the only meaningful way to “find ourselves”, answer our deepest questions, and it is the only worldview that passes what he calls “the five tests of the good life”. He is uniquely skilled at naming the identity-formation-strategy/worldview waters we swim in, while also sharing the biblical alternative to the stories and strategies our culture provides. Rosner’s arguments are wise, profound, thorough, and sound. He’s clear and honest without pulling punches or making fun of anyone. He presents a really compelling argument while breaking down ideas and worldviews, not people. He is winsome, but not so at the expense of clarity or courageously confronting hard truths and lies we believe. There is something to the way he thinks/argues that I want to learn how to embody and mirror.

I think this book would benefit everyone doing ministry in the 21st century West. This little book is incredibly good and helpful. It easily may be one of my top five ever.

[Ivy Greenwood]

A wonderful read. Brian Rosner is one of those authors that is not just highly educated, but he’s also a wonderful teacher. He lays out deep thought and cultural diagnosis in a way that’s accessible and enjoyable. He’s articulate in the best way. His goal is for you to learn, grow, and understand more deeply the concept of identity as God made it to be, not just for a smart man to write a smart-sounding book.

It’s similar in lots of ways to You’re Not Your Own, but Rosner takes the burden of proof on himself to show why specifically the good life cannot be found by looking inward. He’s logical and charitable, and this book is so challenging in the kindest way. Really good stuff.

[Sleepy CJ]

Reading with the Married SG at MVAC. Great read so far. An appropriate look at the different identity gospels/messages out in the world and how the Christian ought to respond. Fully knowing thyself in Christ is major.

Led the chapter on Enlightenment, Sex Revolution, and Consumerism. Hard topics to come by, but by God's grace, we got through it. Summary: they all offer a kind of freedom--a freedom to live a certain way, to hoard or participate in societal norms and practices. Yet, they do not offer a way out of sin and its ultimate consequence, which is death, though they try. Enlightenment tries to find a cure to death. The sex revolution supposes that our ultimate purpose is pleasure, so pain is not a way out, but a way to repress this purpose, therefore death is just an end to it. Consumerism is an uphill battle, always wanting, always something new. Therefore death is not so much an issue to be freed from, but how do we crawl towards death and find "joy" in the material or financial realms.

[Faith Olivia]

Skimmed so i could buy for new ager (nonbeliever)


Copied & pasted-
“” A survey in 2015 found that 91 percent of adults in the United States agreed that the best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself.? Everything else flows from this conviction. The thinking is that to look anywhere else than inward would bring you under the control of those who wish to oppress you, would risk you not realizing your full potential, and, worst of all, would mean that you would not be true to yourself. That is the message coming loud and clear from every direction in our contemporary world. Francis Fukuyama writes, "Modern understandings of identity hold that we have deep interior spaces whose potentialities are not being realized, and that external society through its rules, roles, and expectations is responsible for holding us back."”


- touches on happiness paradox
- shares Gospel in depth the last chapter

Essentially gets the reader to look within, you cannot. You are formed and shaped by everything around you and more. You dont have the answers. What do we do then?



Easy to follow & read- not the best for “intellectuals” but good for emotional and personality test junkies.

[Darcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up Rosner’s book after reading Truman’s “The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self.” Where Truman frustrated me with his antagonistic rhetoric amidst his historical analysis, Rosner brought hope and pastoral insight to his engagement with the same issues. Rosner’s strength is indeed the reflective approach. Each chapter includes questions for reflection or—better—discussion. He makes a compelling case for a Christ-centered approach to self-understanding, challenging both conservative and progressive understandings of self identity and the path to true fulfillment. Though the way Rosner winds down his work feels rushed, lacking the depth of engagement characteristic of the rest of the work, he does acknowledge the need for deeper reflection on how to truly look upward in the process of self-discovery. John Mark Comer’s “Practicing the Way” is a great follow-up and companion, in my opinion. In the end, I highly recommend Rosner’s book for church leaders and any wrestling with how faith in Jesus intersects with expressive individualism.

[Luke Watts · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a truly marvellous title. Rich in biblical truth and accurate in its assessment of modern culture, this book should be a must read for any seeking to understand their own personal identity or aiming to teach identity properly to others in or under their care. The author’s honesty and vulnerability set a tone that reaches into any heart (any heart that has ears to hear).

[Jarrett Reed · Rating 4 out of 5]

The chapters on being known by others and being known by God were 5 star worthy alone. The rest was still good and the Lord met me in someway in each chapter still. But I am using those two chapters each day since reading them.

[Dave · Rating 5 out of 5]

“How to Find Yourself: Why Looking Inward Is Not The Answer” by Brian Rosner is a timely examination of where the modern unchallenged assumption of ‘expressive individualism’ leads us and how ultimately unsatisfying it ultimately us. In contrast he also gives the benefits of life in Christ, and how this gives us a truly satisfying identity in Him. Expressive individualism, as Rosner defines it, “is the view that you are who you feel yourself to be on the inside and that acting in accordance with this identity constitutes living authentically” (pg. 16). Ultimately, as he sums up later, it practically consists of two assertions: “1. To be yourself, you have to find yourself. 2. You belong to yourself.” As he points out, this is the opposite of Jesus and the Apostle Paul’s teachings: Jesus said: ‘Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matt. 10:39). And in a flat contradiction of the principle of personal autonomy, Paul stated bluntly, ‘You are not your own.” (pg. 188). The structure of the book looks first at the phenomenon of “Looking for Yourself”, including the excellent chapter on “Five Tests of the Good Life”, where he examines each of the universal values that most of us claim to want, and shows how expressive individualism ultimately fails to achieve these things, in our lives and in the world. In part 2 of the book, he looks at how we are, despite our excessive self-focus, ultimately social beings and what that means. Finally, he looks at how our identities are ultimately shaped by the stories we believe we are in. He looks at the stories of secular materialism, social justice, and then compares them to participating in the greater story of Jesus Christ. I thought this was a very helpful book, encouraging even in it’s critiques and charitable, but realistic in its assessments. If you are not yet a follower of Jesus Christ, I would encourage you to read it with an open mind, and to consider the author’s claims. And if you are a Christian, you will still be reminded not only of the truth of Jesus’ claims, but the beauty and satisfaction that they can truly bring as we (imperfectly and dependently) follow them. A good read indeed, and better than I had expected!

[Drake Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book addresses the search for personal identity in the western world. In a clear and concise manner, Brian Rosner addresses expressive individualism. This viewpoint promises empowerment and personal happiness. It encourages each person to be "true to yourself" and encourages self-definition based on sexuality, gender, ethnicity, and other characteristics.

I was most impressed by Rosner's definition of the major tenets of expressive individualism. Besides being true to oneself, he points to the highest goal of happiness, the rejection of external authority, and the quest for self-expression. Most of all, the starting point for expressive individualism is found in looking inward.

He then proceeds to speak about each person being a social being and having our own stories. He addresses two main stories within the western world, namely, the story of secular materialism and the story of social justice. He counters this with a greater story, the life story of Jesus Christ. Looking up rather than within is the key.

Throughout the book, I was impressed that Brian Rosner felt comfortable expressing some of his own search during this time. It is rare for a theologian to express himself so freely. Having known the author for some of the time that he described, I found his personal testimony believable and positive.

He ends the book with the encouragement to lose oneself in God through Christ. This finds expression in the classic activities of the church: Bible reading, prayer, fellowship, the recitation of ancient creeds, the sacraments of baptism and communion, and frequently praying the Lord's Prayer. By losing one's life in this way, he believes that one will truly find oneself.

For those wondering about their identity, this is a compelling book to consider. For those who are encountering the self-seeking perspective of the west, I would highly recommend reading this book!

[Linda Galella · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent discussion that offers information on how we as Christians have strayed so far from our primary identity - being sons and daughters of Christ.

The rise of all forms of communication, television, technology and social media have given way to specialty interest groups of every sort imaginable. They, in turn, have affected the identity crisis of humanity, especially in the West. “I gotta do me, be me, find me, love me…” People are lost and hurting, therapist are rich and getting more so. Enter this book: “How to Find Yourself: Why Looking Inward Is Not the Answer”.

Author, Brian Rosner, PhD. Cambridge, has been studying this topic of identity for over 20 years. Over the course of the book he shares the work of many of his contemporaries and of those who paved the way. Footnotes are added to each page which is very convenient. For those points that jive with scripture, Brian points out the salient aspects and those that need debunking are carefully measured against biblical truths.

Rosner organized this book into 4 sections: Looking for Yourself, You’re a Social Being, You Are Your Story,
The New You. Each is thoughtfully arranged and has questions at the end of each chapter to encourage personal reflection and conversations with friends. There are easy subsections for stops and starts when time is an issue or a particular subject has you wanting more time to reflect or investigate. This book is extremely cooperative for the reader to work with.

All things considered, a topic of contemporary importance handled biblically, with care📚

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is simply an excellent book. Brian Rosner has uncovered the faults of expressive individualism with care and precision. Yet he has not done so in a way which stokes the fires of the current culture war; rather, he has revealed these shortcomings by gentle, personal, and Biblical means. More so, Rosner does not conclude his work after knocking the bricks off the tower of expressive individualism, leaving us deconstructed but with no aid in reconstruction. Instead, Rosner provides a sweeter song, another story that does not fall into the same pitfalls as does expressive individualism. The story of Christ and his followers. A performance in which the cast dies to their selves to find their selves. I found this to be incredibly helpful, and an aspect where secular critiques of our cultural trends fall flat.

Rosner has an engaging writing style, and the book is written in a very relational manner, where he presents his own story and hardships and how they have affected his identity. He also provides questions for reflection at the end of each chapter which are very helpful.

This is one of the very few non-fiction books I had trouble putting down, as the insights were profound, the writing engaging, personal, and clear, and the overall flow building to the final two chapters, where Rosner presents us with the Christ-centred panacea.

[Justin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Accessible, relatable, warm, and approachable. Rosner's tone is winsome throughout a book that gleans identity observations from many top sociologists and Christian thinkers (Taylor, Trueman, Keller, David Brooks) and distills their findings in a highly practical way.

He does a thorough dissection of the distortions of expressive individualism, which is his main target, and shows how the Christian wordlview presents better answers to the questions of what is a good life, and presents a better narrative than major ones around us of consumerism, marginalized and oppressor, and sexual revolution.

Rosner has a very Kelleresque apologetic - he explains, affirms, but then confronts major ideas of Western culture. He also fleshes out some solid specifics to what is often a cloudy and opaque Christian answer of "find your identity in Christ."

Definitely worth reading, especially for someone who is not yet sold on the Christian belief system.

[Ryan George · Rating 3 out of 5]

Brian Rosner has written a very approachable book on the philosophy of identity. He diagnoses our current western culture well and proves the thesis of the subtitle. Where this book falls short is fleshing out the promise of its title. It gives two short chapters in service to that and fills them with answers you’d expect in a church-basement Sunday school class. I don’t think Rosner is necessarily wrong in his conclusions—just insufficient at supporting them, at least as well as he did the assertions that comprise most of the book. In fact, the week I finished this book proved Rosner’s closing thesis very much true in my life; and I wished he’d have addressed more space to what practical implementation could look like.

[Priya Oliver · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. The author talks about the measure of a good life and how the quest of authenticity can often feel confusing and unfulfilling. Linking this to the rise in mental health issues. The author argues that the solution the bible offers is to look outside of yourself and to help others, and create community to reflect self.

Very nuanced and empathetic perspective. The author critically analyses the necessity of the rise of individualism and identity (race/ gender/ sexual orientation/ privilege) while also arguing while there is much work Christian’s need to do to understand this, these ways of understanding yourself don’t only define us.

[John Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Given the foreword by Trueman, I was expecting dense academic arguments. Instead, Rosner offers a practical and pastoral depth to the liturgical practices of the church as tools particularly suited to adopting, renewing, and maintaining our identities in Christ. Liturgy brings the story of the gospel into our bones, opposing at every point the narratives that try to turn us into ourselves. Especially in conversation with some other books floating in my mind (Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self, Four Loves, The Mind of the Maker, etc.), How to Find Yourself has re-enforced my love for my maker as the one who knows and pursues me. Sola Deo Gloria.

[Alastair Gooderham · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic book that explores the narratives we live out of. Rosner examines where we are taught to get our identity from and examines each in light of the 5 tests of the good life; existential, ego, ethics, enemies and enjoyment. I especially found the chapter on the story of social justice helpful for thinking through current narratives. Rosner looks at the life story of Jesus and the call to disciples to lose yourself for Christs sake and how we can do so as part of the natural rhythms of discipleship.

[Heather Persing · Rating 5 out of 5]

At your core, who are you?

How to Find Yourself will help you wade through your usual answers to this question and explore if those answers are sufficient to build your identity around.

I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t benefit from this book. It’s easy to read, extremely relevant, and thoughtful.

**I received this book from Crossway Publishing through Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.**

[Daniel Leach · Rating 5 out of 5]

read it, grow as a person

A great example of intelligent Christian writing. Part social commentary, part deep theology, wholly practical and applicable.

I’ll be recommending it to friends. I listened to the audiobook as read by the author and highlighted the kindle after listening to each chapter. The audiobook was very well read, and as the author is an Australian, it didn’t suffer from sounding unusual to have another voice speaking Australian-isms

[Adam Kareus · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book for our times... Christians need to read this book and understand that our identity if not found by looking within or writing our own stories, but mainly and ultimately by looking up and seeing how we are a part of the story of Jesus Christ.
Well written and easy to grasp, this would make a great gift to any Christian but especially younger ones who are thinking through these issues.

[Dave Horne · Rating 5 out of 5]

A gracious critique of where we might find our own meaning and identity, and a careful extrapolation of those sources to show how they end (spoiler - it's often tragically). Rosner's answer is, predictably, that our most authentic and true identity is found when are found in Christ, concept minted 2000 years ago but still holding true and relevant today.

[J. J.]

A hugely underrated book. A hugely important book. Synthesizes and puts down on the shelf other books that have gone before. Also brings his own reservoir of knowledge as a biblical scholar and makes it accessible. Timely, careful, contextual, missional, prophetic.

[Bec Standing · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was great to read. It was helpful to look at identity from a different perspective that you're actually shaped by many factors around you. Looking in the past and hoe that has shaped you e.g. family, looking forward and looking upward to God.

[Nicholas Schenken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not too bad, but there wasn't too much that I gained from this read.

Made note on page 75.

[Keller Hackbusch · Rating 3 out of 5]

First half was 5 star, 2nd half I didn’t care for and don’t feel like biblical solutions were provided.

[Justine Clarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing read. Makes so much sense and a perfect alternative to the ways of this crazy mixed up world.

[Binoy Chacko · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is addressing the more gender identity than trying to identify one's gift and calling.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

A clear, concise practical look at the ways we seek to find our identity, and why looking to God's story is the best one for us.

[Lone · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book with a clarity and profound explanation to this worlds expressive individualism that make so many people unhappy and discouraged.

[Andrew Krom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful read!