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Brown Girl Like Me
Brown Girl Like Me is an essential guidebook for South Asian women and girls on how to deal with growing up brown, female, marginalized and opinionated.
Author Jaspreet Kaur pulls no punches, tackling difficult topics from mental health and menstruation stigma to education and beauty standards, from feminism to cultural appropriation and microaggressions. It will also address tough questions:
- Can you be a brown feminist without rejecting your own culture?
- Why are Asian girls the second highest performing group of students in the country, yet this isn’t reflected in universities and head offices?
An inspiring memoir and manifesto which aims to empower, support and equip women with the confidence and tools they need to navigate the difficulties which come with an intersectional identity. Jaspreet unpacks key issues such as the home, the media, the workplace, education, mental health, culture, confidence and the body, to help Asian women understand and tackle the issues that affect them, and help them be in the driving seat of their own lives.
Illustrated with personal stories alongside academic insight showing what life is really like for Asian women from all walks of life in the UK. Part toolkit, part call-to-arms, Brown Girl Like Me is essential reading for South Asian women as well as people with an interest in feminism and cultural issues, and will educate, inspire and spark urgent conversations for change.
Author Jaspreet Kaur pulls no punches, tackling difficult topics from mental health and menstruation stigma to education and beauty standards, from feminism to cultural appropriation and microaggressions. It will also address tough questions:
- Can you be a brown feminist without rejecting your own culture?
- Why are Asian girls the second highest performing group of students in the country, yet this isn’t reflected in universities and head offices?
An inspiring memoir and manifesto which aims to empower, support and equip women with the confidence and tools they need to navigate the difficulties which come with an intersectional identity. Jaspreet unpacks key issues such as the home, the media, the workplace, education, mental health, culture, confidence and the body, to help Asian women understand and tackle the issues that affect them, and help them be in the driving seat of their own lives.
Illustrated with personal stories alongside academic insight showing what life is really like for Asian women from all walks of life in the UK. Part toolkit, part call-to-arms, Brown Girl Like Me is essential reading for South Asian women as well as people with an interest in feminism and cultural issues, and will educate, inspire and spark urgent conversations for change.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published February 17, 2022
57 people are currently reading
618 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
February 7, 2022
Jaspreet Kaur writes a blend of feminist memoir, guidebook, advice, reseach, and manifesto for brown girls and women from South Asia whilst simultaneously providing a range of personal experiences when it comes to critical issues such as race, gender, family, education, love, marriage, sexuality, on being a British Asian, the social norms and attitudes, and culture. I have no doubt many Asian women and girls will find this useful, packed full of advice, whilst countering the loneliness often felt until they realise what has happened to them is so often widespread, with challenges and pressures coming from within their own communities, families and the outside world. Kaur suggests ways of bringing up brown girls to be confident, resilient feminists with the agency to direct their lives as they want so they can be happier and more fulfilled.
There is a considerable focus on mental health, Kaur relates suffering from panic attacks and depression, enduring an abusive relationship, how she found relief from writing about her thoughts and feelings in a journal and from poetry, whilst others talk of benefiting from sport and other extra curricular activities. There is great stigma attached to mental illnesses that can curtail the possibility of marriage and its a label that can stick, there is often little awareness of issues such as postpartum depression in communities. Key is having someone you can talk with who you trust, not keeping stresses bottled up and the need for research that provides data for formulating appropriate mental health strategies. There is an examination of education, stereotyping and perceptions of limited agency when it comes to brown girls, the constant microaggressions, and the lack of support measures to help them apply to the top universities.
Kaur dwells on how useful social media and the internet has been in connecting the brown sisterhood, leading to friendships, sharing experiences, creating dialogues, giving rise to collaborations, campaigning and activism, and powering careers that previously would have been unthinkable. She points out the sad fact that there exists the dark side of the online world, the bullying, abuse, threats of rape and death, the bigotry and the misogyny. Whilst I think this is a terrific read, I do think it could have been better organised and a little more academic rigour could have been applied, it is covering so many areas that inevitably some can only be touched on at a superficial level, whilst it could have been more clearly underlined just how huge and diverse the brown communities are. Additionally, I would have liked to have seen more inclusion at greater length and depth of the personal experiences of women on the themes covered in this book. Overall, I think this is a great book that many brown women and girls will find helpful. Many thanks to the publisher for an ARC.
There is a considerable focus on mental health, Kaur relates suffering from panic attacks and depression, enduring an abusive relationship, how she found relief from writing about her thoughts and feelings in a journal and from poetry, whilst others talk of benefiting from sport and other extra curricular activities. There is great stigma attached to mental illnesses that can curtail the possibility of marriage and its a label that can stick, there is often little awareness of issues such as postpartum depression in communities. Key is having someone you can talk with who you trust, not keeping stresses bottled up and the need for research that provides data for formulating appropriate mental health strategies. There is an examination of education, stereotyping and perceptions of limited agency when it comes to brown girls, the constant microaggressions, and the lack of support measures to help them apply to the top universities.
Kaur dwells on how useful social media and the internet has been in connecting the brown sisterhood, leading to friendships, sharing experiences, creating dialogues, giving rise to collaborations, campaigning and activism, and powering careers that previously would have been unthinkable. She points out the sad fact that there exists the dark side of the online world, the bullying, abuse, threats of rape and death, the bigotry and the misogyny. Whilst I think this is a terrific read, I do think it could have been better organised and a little more academic rigour could have been applied, it is covering so many areas that inevitably some can only be touched on at a superficial level, whilst it could have been more clearly underlined just how huge and diverse the brown communities are. Additionally, I would have liked to have seen more inclusion at greater length and depth of the personal experiences of women on the themes covered in this book. Overall, I think this is a great book that many brown women and girls will find helpful. Many thanks to the publisher for an ARC.
December 4, 2021
I was so excited about reading this one that I started reading it almost immediately after the ARC arrived on my doorstep, but sadly it was a huge letdown.
The back of the book calls it an "essential guidebook for South Asian women and girls" and "part toolkit, part call-to-arms." There aren't really a lot of/any books like this targeted specifically at South Asians, and that's one of the reasons I was excited to pick it up.
Unfortunately, from the very introduction of the book I realised that the author perhaps doesn't have the range and nuance to talk about many of the complicated and intersectional topics she's decided to tackle in the book, and that's really what the book's downfall is. In the introduction, Kaur writes "When I say 'brown women,' I mean all women, inclusive of those who identify as such or are gender non-binary." To me, not only does it seem like erasure to apply the term women to those identify as non-binary (some of whom may also identify as women, but many of whom certainly would not), but it also marked Kaur's ignorance on gender as a whole. You can't write about cis-woman and assume that broadly most of what you're saying also applies to trans women and non-binary people. That's simply not how it works, and we have varied experiences of the world. This is not to say that Kaur should know of and be able to write about these varied experiences, but the problems comes in when she seems incapable of understanding or acknowledging that fact.
Again, in the introduction Kaur writes, "the heterogenous, diverse region [of South Asia] includes Bangladesh, India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, but I've tried to be inclusive of those from cross-cutting countries with similar faiths and religions, such as Nepal and Afghanistan." Except...South Asia literally encompasses Nepal and Afghanistan (along with Bhutan and the Maldives which are excluded here), not just culturally and religiously, but also geographically. So Kaur's book is an essential guide for South Asian which effectively erases significant populations of South Asia, because Kaur doesn't even seem to realise that they are South Asian.
Still, despite my bafflement at the introduction of the book, I hoped that there would be something to glean from its pages. While there are a lot of things here that I appreciated being written about, and a lot of things that I related to, ultimately much of it was explored in a way that was quite surface-level. The book moved fast from topic to topic without really slowing down to explore important topics with the depth that they deserved. Each topic was also aided by interviews with significant people from the South Asian community, but their "interviews" only aided with one or two quotes, and again felt quite surface-level.
There also seems to be a severe lack of research, which severely undercut much of what this book was trying to do. While on the topic of how toxic masculinity harms men of colour, Kaur writes "I've personally seen how this forces men to stay bottled up...the statistics are harrowing with men making up 75 per cent of suicides in the UK." She does not go on to break down this statistic in terms of how much of this percentage actually applies to South Asian men, nor does she give any anecdotal evidence of how toxic masculinity is specifically harmful to South Asian men.
She also constantly muddles up Muslims with South Asians, as if they are interchangeable and experience the world in the exact same way. In terms of employment, Kaur writes "data from the Office for National Statistics' Labour Force Survey suggests that Muslim women are up to 65 per cent likely to be employed than white Christian women of the same age and qualifications. How can any of this make sense? It's clearly not because brown women are not hard-working. Our accolades prove that." Except, her statistic is about Muslim women not brown women. Muslim women are not interchangable with South Asian women, especially since large percentages of Muslim women are Black, South-East Asian, and Arab. Moreover, many non-Muslim South Asians are extremely Islamophobic, and it wouldn't surprise me if these statistics for Muslim women were reflected in regions of South Asia where Muslims are not in the majority. Yet, throughout this entire book Kaur uses Muslim women and their experiences as interchangeable with the experiences of all South Asian women, without ever acknowledging that there are many, many nuances to this.
At the end of the day, a book like this should have been better researched, should have been far more inclusive, and should have had a better broader understanding of South Asia and all the nuances of being South Asian. While there are interesting and important things in the book, they are undermined by all of its inaccuracies and severe shortcomings when it comes to exploring issues with any kind of depth. I know Kaur has set out to help brown women and break stigmas, but sadly she's continued to contribute to the erasure of those South Asians whose voices are the most marginalised. While I'm sure many will find something to connect with about this book, I do think it is harmful in its erasure and ignorance and ultimately can't recommend it.
The back of the book calls it an "essential guidebook for South Asian women and girls" and "part toolkit, part call-to-arms." There aren't really a lot of/any books like this targeted specifically at South Asians, and that's one of the reasons I was excited to pick it up.
Unfortunately, from the very introduction of the book I realised that the author perhaps doesn't have the range and nuance to talk about many of the complicated and intersectional topics she's decided to tackle in the book, and that's really what the book's downfall is. In the introduction, Kaur writes "When I say 'brown women,' I mean all women, inclusive of those who identify as such or are gender non-binary." To me, not only does it seem like erasure to apply the term women to those identify as non-binary (some of whom may also identify as women, but many of whom certainly would not), but it also marked Kaur's ignorance on gender as a whole. You can't write about cis-woman and assume that broadly most of what you're saying also applies to trans women and non-binary people. That's simply not how it works, and we have varied experiences of the world. This is not to say that Kaur should know of and be able to write about these varied experiences, but the problems comes in when she seems incapable of understanding or acknowledging that fact.
Again, in the introduction Kaur writes, "the heterogenous, diverse region [of South Asia] includes Bangladesh, India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka, but I've tried to be inclusive of those from cross-cutting countries with similar faiths and religions, such as Nepal and Afghanistan." Except...South Asia literally encompasses Nepal and Afghanistan (along with Bhutan and the Maldives which are excluded here), not just culturally and religiously, but also geographically. So Kaur's book is an essential guide for South Asian which effectively erases significant populations of South Asia, because Kaur doesn't even seem to realise that they are South Asian.
Still, despite my bafflement at the introduction of the book, I hoped that there would be something to glean from its pages. While there are a lot of things here that I appreciated being written about, and a lot of things that I related to, ultimately much of it was explored in a way that was quite surface-level. The book moved fast from topic to topic without really slowing down to explore important topics with the depth that they deserved. Each topic was also aided by interviews with significant people from the South Asian community, but their "interviews" only aided with one or two quotes, and again felt quite surface-level.
There also seems to be a severe lack of research, which severely undercut much of what this book was trying to do. While on the topic of how toxic masculinity harms men of colour, Kaur writes "I've personally seen how this forces men to stay bottled up...the statistics are harrowing with men making up 75 per cent of suicides in the UK." She does not go on to break down this statistic in terms of how much of this percentage actually applies to South Asian men, nor does she give any anecdotal evidence of how toxic masculinity is specifically harmful to South Asian men.
She also constantly muddles up Muslims with South Asians, as if they are interchangeable and experience the world in the exact same way. In terms of employment, Kaur writes "data from the Office for National Statistics' Labour Force Survey suggests that Muslim women are up to 65 per cent likely to be employed than white Christian women of the same age and qualifications. How can any of this make sense? It's clearly not because brown women are not hard-working. Our accolades prove that." Except, her statistic is about Muslim women not brown women. Muslim women are not interchangable with South Asian women, especially since large percentages of Muslim women are Black, South-East Asian, and Arab. Moreover, many non-Muslim South Asians are extremely Islamophobic, and it wouldn't surprise me if these statistics for Muslim women were reflected in regions of South Asia where Muslims are not in the majority. Yet, throughout this entire book Kaur uses Muslim women and their experiences as interchangeable with the experiences of all South Asian women, without ever acknowledging that there are many, many nuances to this.
At the end of the day, a book like this should have been better researched, should have been far more inclusive, and should have had a better broader understanding of South Asia and all the nuances of being South Asian. While there are interesting and important things in the book, they are undermined by all of its inaccuracies and severe shortcomings when it comes to exploring issues with any kind of depth. I know Kaur has set out to help brown women and break stigmas, but sadly she's continued to contribute to the erasure of those South Asians whose voices are the most marginalised. While I'm sure many will find something to connect with about this book, I do think it is harmful in its erasure and ignorance and ultimately can't recommend it.
January 22, 2022
I've been following Jaspreet Kaur on Instagram for a couple of years, and seeing her upcoming release, Brown Girl Like Me, filled me with excitement.
I was over the moon to be able to read an advance copy.
Being a Brown Girl, and especially a British-born Brown Girl, it has always been hard to find ourselves out there, in anything other than stereotypical roles, via a novel, or on film and in TV series.
Brown Girl Like Me is a great attempt at pulling together all the feelings that we may have encountered through our lives, from the lack of strong role models to not being understood in myriad circumstances.
It is certainly not a quick and easy read. Something to sit, read, digest and savour.
Personally, for me, it made me realise that I am lucky. There were many instances Kaur wrote about situations that I hadn't experienced, but there were so many of her personal stories that resonated with me.
I have always had a lot of support and openness within my family, where we were able to speak out about pretty much anything.
But yes, I will always be that Brown Girl, and I am bringing one up, too, who I hope will be a strong Brown Girl in herself, who knows there is a strong Brown Girl right behind her, too.
There is also cause to celebrate our culture, customs and backgrounds, and reasons to ensure we stay proud and remember that w might be Brown, but our heritage has more colour in it than many others.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Pan Macmillan for an ARC in exchange for an honest opinion.
I was over the moon to be able to read an advance copy.
Being a Brown Girl, and especially a British-born Brown Girl, it has always been hard to find ourselves out there, in anything other than stereotypical roles, via a novel, or on film and in TV series.
Brown Girl Like Me is a great attempt at pulling together all the feelings that we may have encountered through our lives, from the lack of strong role models to not being understood in myriad circumstances.
It is certainly not a quick and easy read. Something to sit, read, digest and savour.
Personally, for me, it made me realise that I am lucky. There were many instances Kaur wrote about situations that I hadn't experienced, but there were so many of her personal stories that resonated with me.
I have always had a lot of support and openness within my family, where we were able to speak out about pretty much anything.
But yes, I will always be that Brown Girl, and I am bringing one up, too, who I hope will be a strong Brown Girl in herself, who knows there is a strong Brown Girl right behind her, too.
There is also cause to celebrate our culture, customs and backgrounds, and reasons to ensure we stay proud and remember that w might be Brown, but our heritage has more colour in it than many others.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Pan Macmillan for an ARC in exchange for an honest opinion.
January 2, 2022
"Isn't it up to us to define who the brown woman is or isn't, rather than anyone else?"
Whilst reading this book, I felt as if I was reading a very lengthy newspaper article. Content wise, the author has everything covered; mental health, education, microaggressions, menstruation and colourism were just some of the topics that were discussed but her writing lacks impact. Kaur interviewed and quoted many people whilst discussing these topics. I appreciate the fact that she was able to interview all these wonderful women, however, I think she relied too heavily on their quotes, experiences and opinions for subject matter.
I wish that I had learnt something new from reading this, but sadly I didn't. As the author seemed to concentrate on the negatives rather than the positives, this book didn't leave me with a sense of positivity and empowerment. Instead it left me bored.
NetGalley provided me with this book in exchange for an honest review.
Whilst reading this book, I felt as if I was reading a very lengthy newspaper article. Content wise, the author has everything covered; mental health, education, microaggressions, menstruation and colourism were just some of the topics that were discussed but her writing lacks impact. Kaur interviewed and quoted many people whilst discussing these topics. I appreciate the fact that she was able to interview all these wonderful women, however, I think she relied too heavily on their quotes, experiences and opinions for subject matter.
I wish that I had learnt something new from reading this, but sadly I didn't. As the author seemed to concentrate on the negatives rather than the positives, this book didn't leave me with a sense of positivity and empowerment. Instead it left me bored.
NetGalley provided me with this book in exchange for an honest review.
January 29, 2023
Great listening to you Jaspreet
June 3, 2022
This non-fiction book looks at life, love, sex, marriage and periods from the perspective of growing up brown and I really enjoyed the writing style and what it has to say.
I’m not an own-voices reviewer but this was clever, funny and feminist and I’m sure it will help a lot of people feel less alone and less confused.
Big thanks to Book Break for gifting me this copy, it’s much appreciated!
I’m not an own-voices reviewer but this was clever, funny and feminist and I’m sure it will help a lot of people feel less alone and less confused.
Big thanks to Book Break for gifting me this copy, it’s much appreciated!
August 19, 2023
Very educational and accessible to read, but perhaps much of it doesn't apply to me, but it was helpful to read it anyways.
November 4, 2023
Neverovatno poučna knjiga! Iako se bavi sociokulturološkim i političkim uticajima na određenu grupu ljudi (geografsko poreklo - Južna Azija, pol - ženski, religija - islam, starost - mladi, druga generacija imigranata), u suštini je jedna biografija sa kojom dosta ljudi može da se poistoveti, ali iz koje još više ljudi može da se edukuje.
Ono što meni pomalo smeta (mada je to možda prejaka reč, iako sam stavila pomalo ispred, više mi ne ide uz ove memoare) je poruka koja stoji na koricama knjige: " Neophodan vodič za žene i devojke iz Južne Azije...". Ne može se život jedne osobe smatrati bilo kakvim manifestom. Autorka piše o problemima sa kojima sa suočavaju tamne devojke današnjice, ali priča iz svog iskustva: postoji gomila imigrantskih momenata sa kojima sam se više ja povezala nego sa kojim bi mogla da se poveže devojka iz Bangladeša koja nikad nije bila u Evropi. Ali činjenica je da živimo u svetu u kome devojka iz Bangladeša nema adekvatnu podršku da napiše memoare, a kamoli da ti memoari priđu Evropi; kad kažem podršku ne mislim samo na porodicu i prijatelje, mislim na društvo, sistem, kulturu, obrazovanje. Teško je shvatiti koliko je tvoja situacija povlašćena dok se ne uporediš sa nekim ko je bukvalno u potlačenoj situaciji. Činjenica je da se sloboda ceni samo kad nam se ugrozi. Zato želim da se malo promeni pristup ovoj knjizi. Ona je informativna, ona širi vidike, ona osvešćava, samim tim nije okrenuta ka jednoj osobi, ili specifičnoj grupi ljudi, ona je za sve nas da se edukujemo, da probamo da razumemo, da pokušamo da promenimo našu tačku gledišta. Ako ste uzeli ovu knjigu u ruke, a niste tamna devojka, ja vas pozdravljam. Ako ste uzeli ovu knjigu u ruke i jeste tamna devojka, ja vas podržavam. Osnaživanje je ključ.
Ono što meni pomalo smeta (mada je to možda prejaka reč, iako sam stavila pomalo ispred, više mi ne ide uz ove memoare) je poruka koja stoji na koricama knjige: " Neophodan vodič za žene i devojke iz Južne Azije...". Ne može se život jedne osobe smatrati bilo kakvim manifestom. Autorka piše o problemima sa kojima sa suočavaju tamne devojke današnjice, ali priča iz svog iskustva: postoji gomila imigrantskih momenata sa kojima sam se više ja povezala nego sa kojim bi mogla da se poveže devojka iz Bangladeša koja nikad nije bila u Evropi. Ali činjenica je da živimo u svetu u kome devojka iz Bangladeša nema adekvatnu podršku da napiše memoare, a kamoli da ti memoari priđu Evropi; kad kažem podršku ne mislim samo na porodicu i prijatelje, mislim na društvo, sistem, kulturu, obrazovanje. Teško je shvatiti koliko je tvoja situacija povlašćena dok se ne uporediš sa nekim ko je bukvalno u potlačenoj situaciji. Činjenica je da se sloboda ceni samo kad nam se ugrozi. Zato želim da se malo promeni pristup ovoj knjizi. Ona je informativna, ona širi vidike, ona osvešćava, samim tim nije okrenuta ka jednoj osobi, ili specifičnoj grupi ljudi, ona je za sve nas da se edukujemo, da probamo da razumemo, da pokušamo da promenimo našu tačku gledišta. Ako ste uzeli ovu knjigu u ruke, a niste tamna devojka, ja vas pozdravljam. Ako ste uzeli ovu knjigu u ruke i jeste tamna devojka, ja vas podržavam. Osnaživanje je ključ.
December 30, 2024
If this were 2015 I would have claimed this as my bible but unfortunately all I got from this was the reminder that not everyone is meant to lead discourse. she simply does not have the range to be handling topics such as how anti blackness and colourism are intertwined. conflates religion and culture throughout and attempts to examine the experiences of the queer community but just stops? the irony of her talking about how brown girls are forgotten or not valued when the whole book reads like it's written for white people but titled as a manifesto for south Asian girls.should have just been an infographic on insta
November 11, 2022
Can imagine this would be great for her target audience of young brown girls - introducing and providing some basic guidance on how to navigate complex topics. Would have loved to see the nuance in some chapters carried throughout the book , but I can see it's been kept approachable for a younger audience. Clearly a passion project and worth checking out .
April 4, 2022
I have learned loads from this. I have bought a copy for the strong brown girls in my Year 10 class.
May 14, 2024
I wish I had this book and read it when I was a teenager, a young adult, and in my twenties. It would have made all the difference to my mental health. Thank you for voicing my pain and hurt and everything in between Jaspreet. Thankfully, I had a father who appreciated his girls. I will forever be grateful to God for choosing him to be mine. I got to where I am because he believed I should be educated, as did my Mum, despite any flaws she might have had in how she viewed the world and how her male and female children should be raised. I love her.
August 29, 2024
i read this book for school in order to do a review, if any1 reads it, please lmk how i can improve it 🙏🏽
Synopsis:
This book is putting forward experiences that South Asiab women face that aren’t typically shown in the media, other minorities may face similar experiences, however this book is tailored towards being relatable to brown girls specifically, by detailing real scenarios faced by a variety of brown women throughout their lifetime. These issues are commonly shunned from society but this book brings to light problems deemed as taboo. This book is an eye-opener, bringing forward many hypocrisies which still occur in the present day.
Sociological Ideas:
This book is all about the inequalities South Asian women face, from birth all the way to adulthood, experienced from both society alongside people in the brown community. Kaur wants to show that these inequalities faced are real and not made up, that real people face them on a daily basis. The issues women face are still occurring. Kaur also mentions throughout the book that in order to get rid of the inequalities that still are playing out, more people should raise awareness. This book makes inequalities come to life, and be no longer invisible.
Different stereotypes and labels are brought up, in addition to how inaccurate they are. This book tries to break them down, portraying how harmful they are. For example, a stereotype brought up a few times is how society perceives brown women as lacking independence due to their ‘submissive’ and ‘passive’ nature, which isn’t true for every brown individual. This harmful stereotype, amongst others, creates a false perception of brown women, which could make their self worth deteriorate, a reason why this is explored. This book is creating awareness, to show other South Asians that they aren’t alone, but also to educate people, how in the present day, prejudice still occurs daily.
Family is also stated a lot here, since it’s the main focus in brown households. Your own reputation, plus the rest of your family, is deemed incredibly important within the brown community. This book speaks up on how sometimes your own community can shame you, discouraging people further to speak out and get help. Mental health is deemed as a ‘white people’ problem for most brown people, which is entirely false. This book speaks up about the problems received not just from outsiders, but the people who are related by blood to you.
Additionally, people outside the brown community view brown families in a negative light. They are seen as controlling and restrictive, which can be true in some instances, however this isn't the case a lot, brown families can just be as supportive as other families.
Both genders are briefly mentioned as a whole near the beginning, however this book is solely focused on addressing issues faced by South Asian females. Kaur mentions slightly how males actually play a part of these issues, although men do also face their own issues which Kaur does sympathise with a little.
At the start, Kaur mentions when she refers to brown girls, she’s including trans women and non-binary people. In my opinion, trans women (male to female) might not face the same issues as a cis brown women would, but it’s nice of Kaur to include these individuals, who may feel even more isolated.
As Kaur has had experience being a teacher and a student, she’s seen both sides within the education system. Brown girls are extremely smart students, trailing behind Chinese students, yet no one praises this. South Asians aren’t widely known for their academics as much as East Asians (China, Japan ect) and this book highlights that. Brown girls need more credit! They are seen as the ‘wrong kind of learner’, too timid and not assertive enough. I feel like this is due to pressures at home to excel and the stress behind it all. Brown girls don’t try to present themselves as smart, because they don’t believe in themselves due to doubts clouding their mind. This book shows that brown girls should be more confident plus to not be afraid and underestimate themselves. The education system doesn’t really help much, as some teachers can be seen as judgmental.
A statistic which really stuck out to me was that ‘only a fifth of UK universities are willing to consider decolonising the curriculum’ which is insane. The UK deems themselves as inclusive yet doesn’t want to change its education system to include more people of colour. Brown people, as well as other people of colour, have contributed significant amounts to history and present day yet recognition for them is severely lacking. Plus, this investigation by the Guardian uses the word ‘consider’, meaning nothing major has actually happened to try to diversify the curriculum. Every person deserves to hear and see people who look like them, instead of the same names and faces.
Religion is mentioned and how it can help mental health. Religion can be seen by some people as ‘oppressive’ or ‘hostile’ with ‘strict rules’ which is not the case. The author is Sikh, and states how she’s implemented prayer into her daily routine, plus mentioning how many Sikhs find a specific type of prayer helpful. In Hinduism, a mantra is considered valuable for spiritual awakening. In Islam, praying can be viewed as down time from the world, resting and finding relief by talking to Allah. This disproves stereotypes of religion some people have. In addition to this, Kaur emphasises how religion is not a complete cure for mental health issues, she says it ‘shouldn’t be used as the catch-all…you should still be getting the formal services you need’ implying that religion can only be used as a coping mechanism.
The last chapter is focused on social media and the effects it has. Social media is viewed as negative furthermore Kaur focuses on the positives. People seem to forget how social media is valuable due to the negative side clouding over. Social media can be used to connect people and communities easier; it can help reach more people all over the world. Kaur mentions numerous organisations which have significantly grown and developed by the help of social media and some wouldn’t even exist nor be as big as they are now without the help of social media. Social media can be a dangerous place, filled with all sorts of terrifying threats made by anonymous people, however the benefits of social media shouldn’t be overshadowed by the horrible downsides.
Other types of media are mentioned all through the book, such as television. Kaur mentions the lack of diversity seen on TV screens growing up and advocates for more South Asian women to enter these spaces, including the arts.
The media can be discriminatory, an example was when the first women of Indian descent won Miss America in 2014, front-page headlines were asking if Miss America was ‘too dark to be Miss India’ the next day, which is awful. Kaur is trying to advocate for more diversity in the media so that young brown girls don’t feel the same way she did growing up, alone and alienated. She wants the future to change so that the next generation don’t suffer and by writing this book, she’s opening up the floor to controversies ordinary people dismiss.
Interesting Quote:
‘Meritocracy is a myth.’
Meritocracy means a society which is run by people based on their education levels (merit/qualifications). Myth means a belief which is widely recognised but false, or a traditional story. This quote is implying that society isn’t led by people chosen by their skills, more on their connections amongst other factors. However I wonder if it is really a myth. It shouldn’t be a myth however some evidence could prove otherwise. In my opinion it isn’t a myth, it’s more so less used, out of all the ways to choose someone as a leader - the factor of merit is at the bottom of the scale, maybe nepotism is higher than expected. This means that people are more biased, as meritocracy should mean people are judged fairly.
Questions:
-> Why refer to the discrimination as ‘paper cuts’, as surely different types can hurt more/less?
-> How did the idea of interviewing people come to mind when wanting to write this book?
-> What type of questions did you ask the people you were interviewing?
Limitations/Critiques:
-> Mentions how she likes the teaching method ‘think, pair share’ yet fails to mention the negatives of it - From a student’s point of view (who’s the target of this idea), students don’t typically like this concept as they’re forced to talk to someone whilst they’d rather keep their thoughts to themselves, so to state that people should be doing it in the real world is unrealistic, when people have problems they’d rather talk to people they know rather than a random person they may vaguely know, so trying to use this as an analogy did not work, and was not effective.
-> Uses islamic vocabulary in the wrong context - Lots of south asians are Muslims, as it’s the biggest religion in Pakistan and Bangladesh, so it would make sense to mention religion. It states how ‘the Prophet Muhammad once said that in prayer, he would find rest and relief (Nasai), and there are many duas (a prayer of invocation) in the Quran and Sunnah which deal with alleviating feelings of depression, worry and anxiety.’ The words ‘Nasai’, and ‘Sunnah’ are misused here. Sunnah is a word used to describe the actions that the Prophet Muhammed PBUH would do. As the Prophet PHUB is a role model in Islam, his actions are seen as rewardful, but not compulsory, so a lot of Muslims would try to follow how he acts. Sunnah is not the same as something which is an obligation like praying. Therefore, in the quote, the word ‘sunnah’ is used incorrectly. I’m not sure how rest and relief mean Nasai, Nasai in Arabic means worthy of praise. Kaur doesn’t provide a source for this statement. She is Sikh, so more research would’ve been helpful.
-> Relying too much on quotes - Kaur interviews numerous people from different aspects of society in order to have a deeper understanding whilst writing this book and seek knowledge in experiences she hasn’t gone through herself. However, sometimes the quotes aren’t used effectively, it’s mentioned in the book then the subject moves on. Using many quotes at once just to state a simple point isn’t really relevant, I feel like quotes should be taken from people to gain a specific message or information, a message which isn’t common. Using quotes to put words on the page isn’t effective, I feel like Kaur could’ve used her own words more instead of relying on other peoples quotes.
-> Interchanges ‘Muslims’ with ‘South Asians’ - Kaur writes ‘data from the Office for National Statistics' Labour Force Survey suggests that Muslim women are up to 65 per cent less likely to be employed than white Christian women of the same age and qualifications. […] It's clearly not because brown women are not hard-working. Our accolades prove that." Her statistic is about Muslim women, not brown women. Muslim women are not interchangeable with South Asian women, as not all Muslims are from South Asia, and not every South Asian is Muslim.
Synopsis:
This book is putting forward experiences that South Asiab women face that aren’t typically shown in the media, other minorities may face similar experiences, however this book is tailored towards being relatable to brown girls specifically, by detailing real scenarios faced by a variety of brown women throughout their lifetime. These issues are commonly shunned from society but this book brings to light problems deemed as taboo. This book is an eye-opener, bringing forward many hypocrisies which still occur in the present day.
Sociological Ideas:
This book is all about the inequalities South Asian women face, from birth all the way to adulthood, experienced from both society alongside people in the brown community. Kaur wants to show that these inequalities faced are real and not made up, that real people face them on a daily basis. The issues women face are still occurring. Kaur also mentions throughout the book that in order to get rid of the inequalities that still are playing out, more people should raise awareness. This book makes inequalities come to life, and be no longer invisible.
Different stereotypes and labels are brought up, in addition to how inaccurate they are. This book tries to break them down, portraying how harmful they are. For example, a stereotype brought up a few times is how society perceives brown women as lacking independence due to their ‘submissive’ and ‘passive’ nature, which isn’t true for every brown individual. This harmful stereotype, amongst others, creates a false perception of brown women, which could make their self worth deteriorate, a reason why this is explored. This book is creating awareness, to show other South Asians that they aren’t alone, but also to educate people, how in the present day, prejudice still occurs daily.
Family is also stated a lot here, since it’s the main focus in brown households. Your own reputation, plus the rest of your family, is deemed incredibly important within the brown community. This book speaks up on how sometimes your own community can shame you, discouraging people further to speak out and get help. Mental health is deemed as a ‘white people’ problem for most brown people, which is entirely false. This book speaks up about the problems received not just from outsiders, but the people who are related by blood to you.
Additionally, people outside the brown community view brown families in a negative light. They are seen as controlling and restrictive, which can be true in some instances, however this isn't the case a lot, brown families can just be as supportive as other families.
Both genders are briefly mentioned as a whole near the beginning, however this book is solely focused on addressing issues faced by South Asian females. Kaur mentions slightly how males actually play a part of these issues, although men do also face their own issues which Kaur does sympathise with a little.
At the start, Kaur mentions when she refers to brown girls, she’s including trans women and non-binary people. In my opinion, trans women (male to female) might not face the same issues as a cis brown women would, but it’s nice of Kaur to include these individuals, who may feel even more isolated.
As Kaur has had experience being a teacher and a student, she’s seen both sides within the education system. Brown girls are extremely smart students, trailing behind Chinese students, yet no one praises this. South Asians aren’t widely known for their academics as much as East Asians (China, Japan ect) and this book highlights that. Brown girls need more credit! They are seen as the ‘wrong kind of learner’, too timid and not assertive enough. I feel like this is due to pressures at home to excel and the stress behind it all. Brown girls don’t try to present themselves as smart, because they don’t believe in themselves due to doubts clouding their mind. This book shows that brown girls should be more confident plus to not be afraid and underestimate themselves. The education system doesn’t really help much, as some teachers can be seen as judgmental.
A statistic which really stuck out to me was that ‘only a fifth of UK universities are willing to consider decolonising the curriculum’ which is insane. The UK deems themselves as inclusive yet doesn’t want to change its education system to include more people of colour. Brown people, as well as other people of colour, have contributed significant amounts to history and present day yet recognition for them is severely lacking. Plus, this investigation by the Guardian uses the word ‘consider’, meaning nothing major has actually happened to try to diversify the curriculum. Every person deserves to hear and see people who look like them, instead of the same names and faces.
Religion is mentioned and how it can help mental health. Religion can be seen by some people as ‘oppressive’ or ‘hostile’ with ‘strict rules’ which is not the case. The author is Sikh, and states how she’s implemented prayer into her daily routine, plus mentioning how many Sikhs find a specific type of prayer helpful. In Hinduism, a mantra is considered valuable for spiritual awakening. In Islam, praying can be viewed as down time from the world, resting and finding relief by talking to Allah. This disproves stereotypes of religion some people have. In addition to this, Kaur emphasises how religion is not a complete cure for mental health issues, she says it ‘shouldn’t be used as the catch-all…you should still be getting the formal services you need’ implying that religion can only be used as a coping mechanism.
The last chapter is focused on social media and the effects it has. Social media is viewed as negative furthermore Kaur focuses on the positives. People seem to forget how social media is valuable due to the negative side clouding over. Social media can be used to connect people and communities easier; it can help reach more people all over the world. Kaur mentions numerous organisations which have significantly grown and developed by the help of social media and some wouldn’t even exist nor be as big as they are now without the help of social media. Social media can be a dangerous place, filled with all sorts of terrifying threats made by anonymous people, however the benefits of social media shouldn’t be overshadowed by the horrible downsides.
Other types of media are mentioned all through the book, such as television. Kaur mentions the lack of diversity seen on TV screens growing up and advocates for more South Asian women to enter these spaces, including the arts.
The media can be discriminatory, an example was when the first women of Indian descent won Miss America in 2014, front-page headlines were asking if Miss America was ‘too dark to be Miss India’ the next day, which is awful. Kaur is trying to advocate for more diversity in the media so that young brown girls don’t feel the same way she did growing up, alone and alienated. She wants the future to change so that the next generation don’t suffer and by writing this book, she’s opening up the floor to controversies ordinary people dismiss.
Interesting Quote:
‘Meritocracy is a myth.’
Meritocracy means a society which is run by people based on their education levels (merit/qualifications). Myth means a belief which is widely recognised but false, or a traditional story. This quote is implying that society isn’t led by people chosen by their skills, more on their connections amongst other factors. However I wonder if it is really a myth. It shouldn’t be a myth however some evidence could prove otherwise. In my opinion it isn’t a myth, it’s more so less used, out of all the ways to choose someone as a leader - the factor of merit is at the bottom of the scale, maybe nepotism is higher than expected. This means that people are more biased, as meritocracy should mean people are judged fairly.
Questions:
-> Why refer to the discrimination as ‘paper cuts’, as surely different types can hurt more/less?
-> How did the idea of interviewing people come to mind when wanting to write this book?
-> What type of questions did you ask the people you were interviewing?
Limitations/Critiques:
-> Mentions how she likes the teaching method ‘think, pair share’ yet fails to mention the negatives of it - From a student’s point of view (who’s the target of this idea), students don’t typically like this concept as they’re forced to talk to someone whilst they’d rather keep their thoughts to themselves, so to state that people should be doing it in the real world is unrealistic, when people have problems they’d rather talk to people they know rather than a random person they may vaguely know, so trying to use this as an analogy did not work, and was not effective.
-> Uses islamic vocabulary in the wrong context - Lots of south asians are Muslims, as it’s the biggest religion in Pakistan and Bangladesh, so it would make sense to mention religion. It states how ‘the Prophet Muhammad once said that in prayer, he would find rest and relief (Nasai), and there are many duas (a prayer of invocation) in the Quran and Sunnah which deal with alleviating feelings of depression, worry and anxiety.’ The words ‘Nasai’, and ‘Sunnah’ are misused here. Sunnah is a word used to describe the actions that the Prophet Muhammed PBUH would do. As the Prophet PHUB is a role model in Islam, his actions are seen as rewardful, but not compulsory, so a lot of Muslims would try to follow how he acts. Sunnah is not the same as something which is an obligation like praying. Therefore, in the quote, the word ‘sunnah’ is used incorrectly. I’m not sure how rest and relief mean Nasai, Nasai in Arabic means worthy of praise. Kaur doesn’t provide a source for this statement. She is Sikh, so more research would’ve been helpful.
-> Relying too much on quotes - Kaur interviews numerous people from different aspects of society in order to have a deeper understanding whilst writing this book and seek knowledge in experiences she hasn’t gone through herself. However, sometimes the quotes aren’t used effectively, it’s mentioned in the book then the subject moves on. Using many quotes at once just to state a simple point isn’t really relevant, I feel like quotes should be taken from people to gain a specific message or information, a message which isn’t common. Using quotes to put words on the page isn’t effective, I feel like Kaur could’ve used her own words more instead of relying on other peoples quotes.
-> Interchanges ‘Muslims’ with ‘South Asians’ - Kaur writes ‘data from the Office for National Statistics' Labour Force Survey suggests that Muslim women are up to 65 per cent less likely to be employed than white Christian women of the same age and qualifications. […] It's clearly not because brown women are not hard-working. Our accolades prove that." Her statistic is about Muslim women, not brown women. Muslim women are not interchangeable with South Asian women, as not all Muslims are from South Asia, and not every South Asian is Muslim.
September 14, 2025
This book took me forever to get through - maybe because it was non-fiction? Either way there was deffo some good stuff in here but I can say agreed/ related to all of it and it’s deffo suited to a slightly older audience than me but was still interesting to read!
July 14, 2023
Really enjoyed this comprehensive look at the challenges and pressure of being a brown woman today. This book really made me feel seen and heard.
December 3, 2023
her voice is so soothing lmao
March 10, 2022
Let me preface this review by saying I really wanted to love this book. The title gave me such good vibes and after having followed the author on socials, I was expecting a book that I could relate to. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
The author makes a lot of assertions, however very few are backed up by any evidence and sometimes she conflates her points. One particular example is a stat she gives about Muslim women in the workplace which she then uses to go on and talk about how brown women as a whole struggle more in the workplace. This is conflating two identities because although you might be Muslim and brown, it does not ring true that all brown women are Muslim. She tends to use brown and Desi interchangeably which again isn't the same identity. You can be a brown woman and be from the Middle East or Latin America whereas Desi is a specific term used to refer to people from India, Pakistan or Bangladesh.
Moreover, I thought it was poorly researched because she flits from topic to topic giving only a surface level overview of her point without any real thought about her audience and the points she's trying to convey. She talks about the rate of suicide and the fact that men make 75% of these, however she doesn't mention the direct impact upon South Asian men and women. Is this meant to be a generalist book? Or is it meant to be for brown girls? Or does she mean those who are specifically Desi?
I read through the whole book searching for a shine of brilliance that would take the sting out of writing this review but unfortunately it failed to deliver.
The author makes a lot of assertions, however very few are backed up by any evidence and sometimes she conflates her points. One particular example is a stat she gives about Muslim women in the workplace which she then uses to go on and talk about how brown women as a whole struggle more in the workplace. This is conflating two identities because although you might be Muslim and brown, it does not ring true that all brown women are Muslim. She tends to use brown and Desi interchangeably which again isn't the same identity. You can be a brown woman and be from the Middle East or Latin America whereas Desi is a specific term used to refer to people from India, Pakistan or Bangladesh.
Moreover, I thought it was poorly researched because she flits from topic to topic giving only a surface level overview of her point without any real thought about her audience and the points she's trying to convey. She talks about the rate of suicide and the fact that men make 75% of these, however she doesn't mention the direct impact upon South Asian men and women. Is this meant to be a generalist book? Or is it meant to be for brown girls? Or does she mean those who are specifically Desi?
I read through the whole book searching for a shine of brilliance that would take the sting out of writing this review but unfortunately it failed to deliver.
July 20, 2023
I wanted to like this book. I did like when she used Punjabi words and didn't translate them. Otherwise, it felt like a lot of deep topics being explored too quickly, at too shallow a depth. Sometimes, the audience seemed to be brown girls like me/us but sometimes it seemed written for a white audience. Alas. It could be an informative read for people differently positioned than I am, and perhaps especially for those who are younger (teens or early twenties?). I did come away with some references to look into, though.
March 28, 2023
Awful book, badly researched, gimmicky, waste of money and more style than substance.
Really wanted to like it and it has some valid points, fluid language but the writer lacks the nuance, depth and subject knowledge to make this anything meaningful.
Great cover though.
Really wanted to like it and it has some valid points, fluid language but the writer lacks the nuance, depth and subject knowledge to make this anything meaningful.
Great cover though.
Read
February 24, 2022In “Brown Girl Like Me,” Kaur has written the “essential guidebook for South Asian women and girls” that she wishes she could have had as a child. Here, she speaks passionately about everything from menstruation and body hair acceptance to dealing with micro-aggressions and recognizing real love. Kaur explains how parents, teachers, South Asian women, and allies can help brown women and girls avoid dealing with these issues in isolation.
“Brown Girl Like Me” whizzes through a multitude of important conversations that could each merit their own book-length discussion. As such, rather than being an in-depth primer on any one topic, it is best used an introduction to intersectional feminism. Throughout, Kaur highlights activists and doers who are leading initiatives to uplift brown women and girls, and thus the book is also a great directory to other inspirational voices in the field. As a former teacher, Kaur is strongest when she is speaking on education policy discussing how schools and teachers can allow brown girls to thrive in the classroom. She offers powerful advice and recommendations geared to readers who are not of South Asian descent but who work with kids and teens who are.
However, as Kaur whiplashes between sharing personal anecdotes and messages of validation to young girls and prescribing advice to their caregivers, she loses some of the power of her message. South Asian girls and women who are dealing with the issues Kaur speaks about do not need to be told what the systemic problems are—we know them well. Action items for white educators also seem ill-placed in a book that purports to be a guidebook for brown girls. The result is confusion about who this book is meant to serve.
Nevertheless, it was gratifying to see my experiences reflected by someone who has such a wide-reaching platform. I am hopeful that, through the efforts of Kaur and others, we can create a world where no South Asian child feels alone or inferior because of who they are.
“Brown Girl Like Me” whizzes through a multitude of important conversations that could each merit their own book-length discussion. As such, rather than being an in-depth primer on any one topic, it is best used an introduction to intersectional feminism. Throughout, Kaur highlights activists and doers who are leading initiatives to uplift brown women and girls, and thus the book is also a great directory to other inspirational voices in the field. As a former teacher, Kaur is strongest when she is speaking on education policy discussing how schools and teachers can allow brown girls to thrive in the classroom. She offers powerful advice and recommendations geared to readers who are not of South Asian descent but who work with kids and teens who are.
However, as Kaur whiplashes between sharing personal anecdotes and messages of validation to young girls and prescribing advice to their caregivers, she loses some of the power of her message. South Asian girls and women who are dealing with the issues Kaur speaks about do not need to be told what the systemic problems are—we know them well. Action items for white educators also seem ill-placed in a book that purports to be a guidebook for brown girls. The result is confusion about who this book is meant to serve.
Nevertheless, it was gratifying to see my experiences reflected by someone who has such a wide-reaching platform. I am hopeful that, through the efforts of Kaur and others, we can create a world where no South Asian child feels alone or inferior because of who they are.
March 14, 2022
I've been following Jaspreet Kaur for some time on social media. I had from time to time felt as though she has a way of articulating a lot of what I was thinking and feeling about the world in a wonderful way. Let me start with saying, I did learn new things, I did relate to a lot of what she had written and I have since advocated for this book and here's why:
- We are a misunderstood and overlooked diaspora and there needed to be a publication that acted as a call for action
- A platform needed to be built for the topics discussed in this book to be further explored
- Sikhs are a minority within a minority, even more so pressing on the need to raise awareness
- Jaspreet Kaur has made a conscious effort to include females across the south Asian community while leaning on her own story. This was always going to be a hard balance because every intersectional view within the south Asian community has its own beauties and complexities
- Somethings have been hard to talk about for some of us, this is having some of those hard conversations for us or in support, side by side with us
As a first generation, British born, Sikh female I can say that the majority of this book does represent a lot of where I am coming from. I, like Jaspreet, am an outspoken induvial and for all the reasons I’ve just used to explain myself have faced many encounters of discrimination and abuse. So do we need to talk about these things? 100% yes we do.
Disclaimer: I can’t account for verifying the research (statistical or academic) used to support topics in this books.
I would love to see Jaspreet being supported to follow up with publications focusing on some of topics in greater detail. Thank you Jaspreet for opening up a conversation and putting yourself out there.
- We are a misunderstood and overlooked diaspora and there needed to be a publication that acted as a call for action
- A platform needed to be built for the topics discussed in this book to be further explored
- Sikhs are a minority within a minority, even more so pressing on the need to raise awareness
- Jaspreet Kaur has made a conscious effort to include females across the south Asian community while leaning on her own story. This was always going to be a hard balance because every intersectional view within the south Asian community has its own beauties and complexities
- Somethings have been hard to talk about for some of us, this is having some of those hard conversations for us or in support, side by side with us
As a first generation, British born, Sikh female I can say that the majority of this book does represent a lot of where I am coming from. I, like Jaspreet, am an outspoken induvial and for all the reasons I’ve just used to explain myself have faced many encounters of discrimination and abuse. So do we need to talk about these things? 100% yes we do.
Disclaimer: I can’t account for verifying the research (statistical or academic) used to support topics in this books.
I would love to see Jaspreet being supported to follow up with publications focusing on some of topics in greater detail. Thank you Jaspreet for opening up a conversation and putting yourself out there.
December 23, 2024
I'm an Indian girl, I had high hopes when I purchased the book as I heard praise about it, but I did not like reading this book and can't believe it has so many good reviews. It is literal dumpster-fire marketed very well. Throughout the book, you can hear the author's preachiness, how she feels the need to dictate to the reader how we should think just because we're a certain demographic - brown girls. Even though the target audience are South Asians, it feels like she's addressing a white audience. There's constant finger wagging and emphasis on 'I don't need saving from my culture!' Brown girls are a very broad demographic, not a monolith and being brown isn't limited to being South Asian either. This is a book written by a millennial who tries to pretend she's Gen Z when she thinks like a boomer. Many of her views are old fashioned and she feels that the preservation of tradition is a priority, "When raising the next generation of brown women, the outright dismissal of our traditions is not a solution."
The main issue that I had with the book is that the author tries to present her own personal experiences as well as her own interpretations of her experiences as being everyone's situation and approach. It's very one-sided. For example, she says that a white therapist told her that she should 'stand up to her family' and 'be more independent'. Not at all bad advice in my opinion, but Jaspreet says she felt misunderstood by the therapist for giving her this advice due to her close relationship with her family. So it's only because she has a close relationship with her family that she felt offended by the therapist's advice rather than empowered. Not all of us had loving parents whom we were so close with and the author seems to think that everyone had loving parents like her privileged situation. Whereas a brown girl who's parents were abusive (like mine were) might have felt empowered to be encouraged to stand up to them by a therapist. This is not 'white therapist' advice at all, and it was in fact a brown mentor who said that to me. I feared for my safety to the point that I had to leave my parents home and go to a women's refuge where I met other brown girls in the same situation. Does Jaspreet want therapists to start telling brown girls that we should just submit to our families? Hence, the author drives home only her own myopic viewpoints. The author labels anyone who has a different interpretation as 'white feminist'. She claims to be dismantling stereotypes but this is hypocrite because the author enforces a certain approach that she wants us all to take.
There is a part where she asks, "'How can you be a brown feminist without rejecting your own culture, and fitting into what Western feminist standards dictate?" She also says, "When raising the next generation of brown women, the outright dismissal of our traditions is not a solution." Begs the question, why ever not? This is what I meant by preachiness. Which traditions is she referring to and why does she demonise breaking traditions and long-held beliefs? She does not define what she means by 'western feminist standards'. A culture is a man-made set of beliefs and expected behaviours/norms and a lot of brown girls find it empowering to defy or even ditch their cultures altogether. Why should they be shamed for doing so? Why are we called whitewashed or westernised for doing so? For example, I no longer identify as Hindu even though I come from a Hindu background. That does not mean that I hate myself.
She oversimplifies so many issues that she touches on briefly but doesn't fully unpack. It is hundreds of pages of the author talking down to you like you're not very smart. The level of English is sort of feels like sixth-grader level.
It also comes across as quite outdated and doesn't really connect with the younger generation of viewers who don't care much for tradition.
She places pressure on survivors to forgive their abusive parents, makes lots of excuses for abusive parents and tells victims of abusive parents to break the cycle but in a 'nice' way and be understanding and empathetic to the abuser's trauma, which I think is a harmful responsibility to put onto survivors as it shouldn't be our responsibility to worry about our abuser's trauma and nor is trauma an excuse for abuse.
The main issue that I had with the book is that the author tries to present her own personal experiences as well as her own interpretations of her experiences as being everyone's situation and approach. It's very one-sided. For example, she says that a white therapist told her that she should 'stand up to her family' and 'be more independent'. Not at all bad advice in my opinion, but Jaspreet says she felt misunderstood by the therapist for giving her this advice due to her close relationship with her family. So it's only because she has a close relationship with her family that she felt offended by the therapist's advice rather than empowered. Not all of us had loving parents whom we were so close with and the author seems to think that everyone had loving parents like her privileged situation. Whereas a brown girl who's parents were abusive (like mine were) might have felt empowered to be encouraged to stand up to them by a therapist. This is not 'white therapist' advice at all, and it was in fact a brown mentor who said that to me. I feared for my safety to the point that I had to leave my parents home and go to a women's refuge where I met other brown girls in the same situation. Does Jaspreet want therapists to start telling brown girls that we should just submit to our families? Hence, the author drives home only her own myopic viewpoints. The author labels anyone who has a different interpretation as 'white feminist'. She claims to be dismantling stereotypes but this is hypocrite because the author enforces a certain approach that she wants us all to take.
There is a part where she asks, "'How can you be a brown feminist without rejecting your own culture, and fitting into what Western feminist standards dictate?" She also says, "When raising the next generation of brown women, the outright dismissal of our traditions is not a solution." Begs the question, why ever not? This is what I meant by preachiness. Which traditions is she referring to and why does she demonise breaking traditions and long-held beliefs? She does not define what she means by 'western feminist standards'. A culture is a man-made set of beliefs and expected behaviours/norms and a lot of brown girls find it empowering to defy or even ditch their cultures altogether. Why should they be shamed for doing so? Why are we called whitewashed or westernised for doing so? For example, I no longer identify as Hindu even though I come from a Hindu background. That does not mean that I hate myself.
She oversimplifies so many issues that she touches on briefly but doesn't fully unpack. It is hundreds of pages of the author talking down to you like you're not very smart. The level of English is sort of feels like sixth-grader level.
It also comes across as quite outdated and doesn't really connect with the younger generation of viewers who don't care much for tradition.
She places pressure on survivors to forgive their abusive parents, makes lots of excuses for abusive parents and tells victims of abusive parents to break the cycle but in a 'nice' way and be understanding and empathetic to the abuser's trauma, which I think is a harmful responsibility to put onto survivors as it shouldn't be our responsibility to worry about our abuser's trauma and nor is trauma an excuse for abuse.
August 26, 2022
I’m not really sure what to think of this! I wish I’d made notes as I read it and I’d love to have discussed it with someone during the reading of it! For example the chapter ‘That’s Not My Name’ made me think of the Celtic names which are impossible to pronounce - if it’s a name you’ve never come across the chances are you will get it wrong; I challenge you to pronounce Niamph, Grainne, Aoife or Caoimhe! I don’t think people would deliberately Mis-pronounce somebody’s name?
I read it as I am interested in other cultures and always open to learning new things. I think what I learnt is that a lot of pressures and challenges facing brown girls actually come from their own families and communities. I also feel that brown or white, we all go through similar insecurities growing up be it relationships, body hair, mental health problems or skin colour (your aunties may not want you to play out in case your skin darkens whereas we may actually envy your beautiful colour!)
We should all take away the overriding message of being kind to yourself and learning to love yourself. The writing is lovely and I will try and read some of Jaspreet’s poetry.
I read it as I am interested in other cultures and always open to learning new things. I think what I learnt is that a lot of pressures and challenges facing brown girls actually come from their own families and communities. I also feel that brown or white, we all go through similar insecurities growing up be it relationships, body hair, mental health problems or skin colour (your aunties may not want you to play out in case your skin darkens whereas we may actually envy your beautiful colour!)
We should all take away the overriding message of being kind to yourself and learning to love yourself. The writing is lovely and I will try and read some of Jaspreet’s poetry.
November 4, 2023
2.5 stars.
‘You will grow up having to fight people with ignorant non-arguments, people who insist that there is no problem, and you will learn that you can’t persuade everyone. But you deserve to be able to speak your truth, and you deserve to be heard. So keep calling out every piece of bullshit that doesn’t feel right to you, whether it’s political, social or cultural’.
Being a Sociology Geek, I Enjoyed the Sociology Aspects in this Book. But The Author Focused more on the Negatives than the Positives. The chapters were way too Long and I would have Loved to know more abt her story since it’s called ‘Brown Girl Like Me’. I was Expecting a lot when I got into this but it kinda put me in a slump. It’s wasn’t all Bad but It wasn’t Groundbreaking either.
‘You will grow up having to fight people with ignorant non-arguments, people who insist that there is no problem, and you will learn that you can’t persuade everyone. But you deserve to be able to speak your truth, and you deserve to be heard. So keep calling out every piece of bullshit that doesn’t feel right to you, whether it’s political, social or cultural’.
Being a Sociology Geek, I Enjoyed the Sociology Aspects in this Book. But The Author Focused more on the Negatives than the Positives. The chapters were way too Long and I would have Loved to know more abt her story since it’s called ‘Brown Girl Like Me’. I was Expecting a lot when I got into this but it kinda put me in a slump. It’s wasn’t all Bad but It wasn’t Groundbreaking either.
May 6, 2022
I read this entire book in just a couple of sittings. As a British Indian female, the topics covered in this book were very relatable and what I needed when I was growing up. Jaspreet highlights so many struggles and battles that Asian women face from their community and societal pressures.
I think it is a great book to bring awareness to the way in which we are bringing up our kids in this community, and the ways in which we could be acting differently in order to provide a better future for them.
I think it is a great book to bring awareness to the way in which we are bringing up our kids in this community, and the ways in which we could be acting differently in order to provide a better future for them.
July 24, 2022
Book starts off very well, however it loses the momentum around the middle. Gives a great insight into certain issues that South Asian women(and even certain South Asian men) face, some of them even being relatable. However a lot of the time, the author seems to blame the “capitalist” society, and often talks about the achievements and opinions of other women and authors, rather than hers. While the book is titled “Brown Girl Like Me”, a lot of what is written are just opinions that others have researched or stated.
March 21, 2023
I really enjoyed this book. It makes you question a lot of stereotypes and things that are taken for granted. I do think some of the opinions discussed in the book are subjective. Not everyone would have had the same journey as an Indian Sikh or Hindu growing up in the UK, but I definitely see a lot of similarities in myself, family dynamics, and cultural beliefs. Compelling read, was definitely touching on a lot of very sensitive and emotional topics, but handled very well. Would recommend.
February 22, 2024
This is such an important read for brown women and girls to be validated for experiences we’ve internalized ourwhole lives. I think people of other races should also read this to get a full understanding of the oppression and complexities we still face. South Asian culture isn’t really covered in fields like social work and humanities and that needs to change with more books like this being written in the future
March 14, 2024
As a fellow brown girlie I really really wanted to love this book but it just fell a bit flat for me. A lot of important topics were discussed but it didn't really scratch more than the surface level of things. Maybe I just wasn't the target audience and it was aimed at tweens/teens who are just going into adulthood and seeing how their skin colour affects everything they experience, but I would have loved the book to have delved in deeper on the topics discussed
May 1, 2024
I also experienced panic attacks in school.
The writer beautifully discussed the issues such as microaggressions, Micro insults & micro invaldation, & how these concepts are considered as normal in brown families. The chapter releted to female facing periods pain.
Awesome, no author ever addresses this issue in such a precise manner. I would love to post a detailed review in a few days.
The writer beautifully discussed the issues such as microaggressions, Micro insults & micro invaldation, & how these concepts are considered as normal in brown families. The chapter releted to female facing periods pain.
Awesome, no author ever addresses this issue in such a precise manner. I would love to post a detailed review in a few days.
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