Raver Girl: Coming of Age in the 90s

by Samantha Durbin

A PopSugar Best New Books of 2021 Selection


Weed inspires her. Acid shows her another dimension. Ecstasy releases
her. Nitrous fills her with bliss. Cocaine makes her fabulous. Mushrooms
make everything magical. Special K numbs her. Crystal meth makes her
mean. Sixteen-year-old Samantha, raver extraordinaire, puts the “high”
in high school.


A ’90s time capsule buried inside a coming-of-age memoir set against the
neon backdrop of the San Francisco Bay Area's rave scene, Raver Girl
chronicles Samantha’s double life as she teeters between hedonism and
sobriety, chaos and calm, all while sneaking under the radar of her
entrepreneur father—a man who happened to drop acid with LSD impresario
Owsley Stanley in the ’60s.


Samantha keeps a list of every rave she goes to—a total of 104 over four
years. During that time, what started as trippy fun morphs into a
self-destructive roller coaster ride. Samantha opens the doors of her
mind, but she's left with traumas her acid-fried brain won't let her
escape; and when meth becomes her drug of choice, things get
progressively darker. Through euphoric highs and dangerous lows,
Samantha discovers she’s someone who lives life to the fullest and
learns best through alternative experience rather than mainstream
ideals. She’s a creative whose mind is limitless, whose quirks are
charms, whose passion is inspirational. She’s an independent woman whose
inner strength is rooted in unwavering family ties. And if she can
survive high school, she just might be okay.

342 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 12, 2021

About the author

Samantha Durbin is a multifaceted writer from Oakland.

Reviews

[Vanessa Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed the overall descriptions of parties. Preparing for them, drugs, music, meeting up with friends, getting home, etc. But, there wasn’t much new at each rave. It became pretty monotonous. The dialogue about how high everyone was/felt also got tiring. It made it sounds like these kids were dumb “dude, I am sooooo high.” But, they clearly weren’t dumb. I was also in the scene in ‘96 in the Bay Area, and while drugs were certainly involved, it was much more about the music, community, and connections for me. Ironically, the author and I went to the same alternative high school in Orinda, but 4 years apart. I am sure we crossed paths at some point. I enjoyed reading about her experiences, but the story lacked and arc for me. So very glad she is doing well now!

[Jennifer Spiteri · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a deeply nostalgic read for me. I spent a year adrift in a similar scene during the early 90s in Los Angeles. Durbin composes an honest narration of her experiences as a teenager living through the powerfully hypnotic, morally complicated San Francisco rave scene. She sidesteps the cautionary tale. She also avoids the nostalgic glorification of hedonism and instead composes a candid documentation of her experiences within this subculture. This narrative is a candid reckoning of these rites, about the crucibles that ultimately make us who we are.

[Carolyn Lee Arnold · Rating 5 out of 5]

Experience raves through a young woman’s mind and body!
A rollicking romp through the 90’s rave culture in the SF Bay Area through the eyes and body of a strong-willed high school woman. What started out as a high ecstatic experience based on the high energy music and her equally up-for-fun friends became more intensely high as drug use escalated among them over the years. This book has three important aspects—a celebration of this historical cultural phenomena from its innocent beginnings into its more serious and dangerous aspects; a cautionary tale for teens about how a search for highs can lead to dangerous lows; and a tip to parents about how to support their wayward teens.

Durbin is a strong witness to the language, the feelings, the relationships, and the highs that raving did for her, all described so vividly that we feel we are raving with her. We are all relieved that she lived to write about it so eloquently.

[David Sewell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this memoir. It brought back a lot of nostalgia for 90s raves.