Fearful Avoidant Attachment: Understanding and Loving a Partner who Constantly Blows Hot & Cold and Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy

by Janis Bryans

Attachment styles are the way that we connect with other people. They are generally developed by infants and further refined by children, adolescents and adults.
Many of the fears, beliefs and behavioral patterns you emulate as an adult are derived from how you felt in the first few years of life.
People who develop a fearful avoidant attachment style often desire closeness. They seek intimacy from partners. However, they may be unable to achieve the deep connection that they long for.
The reason for this is because their attachment experiences have taught them to be fearful of intimacy. In some cases, their personality leads them to reject close bonds. This can spur a cycle of rocky relationships and extreme emotional highs and lows.

Understanding fearful avoidant attachment can help you to understand why you react the way you do in relationships. If you believe that a loved one has this style of attachment, understanding where the instincts come from may also help you to respond to them.
People with fearful avoidant attachment may show signs
◆ Stormy, highly emotional relationships. ◆ Conflicting feelings about relationships (desiring a romantic relationship and being fearful of being hurt or left by a significant other). ◆ A negative view of themselves and elevated anxiety. ◆ A tendency to seek out faults in partners or friends so that they can create an excuse to leave a relationship. ◆ A fear or anxiety about being inadequate for a partner or relationship. ◆ Withdrawing from relationships when things get intimate or emotional. ◆ A resistance to commitment and intimacy.


The person who is close to a fearful avoidant may ◆ Unvalued. ◆ Not good enough. ◆ Tentative. ◆ As though they are doing something wrong. ◆ Emotionally deprived. ◆ Unimportant. ◆ Unable to truly connect. ◆ Held at arm’s length. ◆ Confused. ◆ Lonely. ◆ Abandoned and depressed. Such feelings, if experienced too often or too intensely, may ultimately make a relationship non-sustainable.
The good news is that you can change the attachment style. It may take time, work and a great deal of understanding from people in life.  However, it is possible for to build intimate, secure relationships that fulfill and help you to feel safe.
If you do not intervene immediately, those who have a relationship with a fearful avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship made up of distances , misunderstandings and conflicts until the relationship is totally broken . Everything that you have built together will be lost forever.

Genres: Psychology

97 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 29, 2021

Reviews

[Yana Zalesskaya · Rating 1 out of 5]

very basic

I’ve expected to learn more about a fearful-avoidant attachment type. Specifically. Instead I’ve just given a quick intro on all attachment types & very generic outline & recommendations. Wasn’t useful at all.

[Dean2359 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Poorly written with large doses of copied materials

Admittedly, I was not impressed. The content has been read in other books and there's a lot of "padding" to fill out the pages.

[Cristina Martín · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't waste your time.

[rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

exceptional for learning about yourself. so many unanswered questions over half my life that I finally understand! knowing I was not going cuckoo!! lol makes perfect sense to me now that I’m in my late 40’s. better late then never

Learning about oneself with no expectations or the knowledge of family history because .
It is not divulged or discussed with anyone. I can see why I’m confused about who am I truly . What I was searching for . This book is so recommended by me . I understand why I have made certain decisions that were not the best . But I learned lessons the hard way . I’m proud of myself but also thankful I have opportunity to learn more healthier foods and behaviors that are more beneficial and healthier for me

[Ashley Whalen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad but not what expected either.

[H. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really appreciate the author for making this book short and to the point without unnecessary fillers. Light and easy to digest.

I've read several books about attachment styles, and the content in this book is on point to summarize about Fearful Avoidant. Maybe others will find this book oversimplified the said attachment.

However, I think it's great for someone who wants to understand this avoidant attachment styles on the go before going deep with other heavier books.

I can find myself go back and reread this in the near future as well. ✌️😊

[paula ☁️ ·̩͙✧ · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 estrellas porque algo habré aprendido (quiero pensar)