What do you think?
Rate this book
To Be A Girl: A transgender girl's breathtaking fight to survive as herself in Victorian England.
This is one of the most extraordinary books I've read... It's harrowing in parts, it's glorious in it's descriptions and heart-warming with it's gentle romance and deep love. Took me on a journey that made me realise the importance of being who we are and recognising that acceptance, tolerance and understanding should be applied in every aspect of our lives. Amazon Customer
...totally gripped from start to finish. Hamer’s writing was so vivid and evocative it transported me to another time and place. She doesn’t shy away from the violence and fear of a life as a transgender women in Victorian times but the book is also full of love, hope and joy. Everyone should read this book! Jai Mackenzie
...This book will pull you in and let you feel the emotions of the central character. Truly a portal into a world that a lot of us don't understand, but we as humans need to... deeply touching. Elaine Simpson
Her feelings, thoughts, and tentative steps to realizing her dream caused me to reflect on my own childhood, a rare achievement in a work of fiction... HW Coyle
I think anyone, trans or not, will enjoy this! Caroline M Mathieson
...I just absolutely adore Emmeline as a character; intelligent, resourceful, creative and with big heart... my only complaint is that it had to end. Lily Nichole Robinson
...very quickly became totally enthralled... a real page turner to be read almost at a sitting. Robyn Hoode
This is undoubtedly a precursor to a very bright future for the author, well written, broad scope fully intriguing and believable in all ways... a true romantic novel with the grit and love, violence and desperation... I was smitten with the main character and found her totally believable and very relatable... Jar
...just a great, gripping story, wonderful characters, and a perfect ending. LibrarianCyn
This is not just a book for trans people, it is a book for everyone who has struggled with feeling different, worthless, not good enough, and for everyone lucky enough to have never had those feelings this book will make you more understanding. Amazon Customer
...this book instilled genuine fear and excitement and a whole spectrum of emotions I haven't felt from reading a book in the past. And the realism and accuracy truly made it hard to stop reading... This book has genuinely left me stunned and changed my life as a trans woman myself. Salem
In 1874, at the age of four-and-a-half, Thomas Stanton realises that ‘Thomas’ is a boy's name and that everyone, even her mother, thinks she’s a boy.
So begins the extraordinary journey of a transgender girl who must not only try to understand what it means to be a girl inside the body of a boy, a century before there was even a name for it, but she must soon find some way to change her body before the horror of puberty casts her as a man forever.
This is one girl's breathtaking fight to survive as herself, and to be loved for who she is.
...totally gripped from start to finish. Hamer’s writing was so vivid and evocative it transported me to another time and place. She doesn’t shy away from the violence and fear of a life as a transgender women in Victorian times but the book is also full of love, hope and joy. Everyone should read this book! Jai Mackenzie
...This book will pull you in and let you feel the emotions of the central character. Truly a portal into a world that a lot of us don't understand, but we as humans need to... deeply touching. Elaine Simpson
Her feelings, thoughts, and tentative steps to realizing her dream caused me to reflect on my own childhood, a rare achievement in a work of fiction... HW Coyle
I think anyone, trans or not, will enjoy this! Caroline M Mathieson
...I just absolutely adore Emmeline as a character; intelligent, resourceful, creative and with big heart... my only complaint is that it had to end. Lily Nichole Robinson
...very quickly became totally enthralled... a real page turner to be read almost at a sitting. Robyn Hoode
This is undoubtedly a precursor to a very bright future for the author, well written, broad scope fully intriguing and believable in all ways... a true romantic novel with the grit and love, violence and desperation... I was smitten with the main character and found her totally believable and very relatable... Jar
...just a great, gripping story, wonderful characters, and a perfect ending. LibrarianCyn
This is not just a book for trans people, it is a book for everyone who has struggled with feeling different, worthless, not good enough, and for everyone lucky enough to have never had those feelings this book will make you more understanding. Amazon Customer
...this book instilled genuine fear and excitement and a whole spectrum of emotions I haven't felt from reading a book in the past. And the realism and accuracy truly made it hard to stop reading... This book has genuinely left me stunned and changed my life as a trans woman myself. Salem
In 1874, at the age of four-and-a-half, Thomas Stanton realises that ‘Thomas’ is a boy's name and that everyone, even her mother, thinks she’s a boy.
So begins the extraordinary journey of a transgender girl who must not only try to understand what it means to be a girl inside the body of a boy, a century before there was even a name for it, but she must soon find some way to change her body before the horror of puberty casts her as a man forever.
This is one girl's breathtaking fight to survive as herself, and to be loved for who she is.
348 pages, Paperback
Published August 2, 2021
32 people are currently reading
200 people want to read
About the author
Alexandra Hamer
1 book7 followersAlexandra Hamer is a novelist, singer-songwriter and facial analyst, who just happens to be trans (she/her).
She also has ADHD, but no one has convinced her yet that it’s a disorder rather than a difference.
She also has ADHD, but no one has convinced her yet that it’s a disorder rather than a difference.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
March 30, 2022
This was definitely the first time I have read a Historical novel about a transgender person. It was a fascinating look at what it may have been like to know you do not identify with the sex you have been "assigned" in that era. It is hard enough in modern times.
Hamer does a wonderful job of bringing the historical details to this story, and the details are what make the story work. She also weaves the Suffragist movement into the storyline in a way that feels natural. There was some horrific violence that I could have lived without, I have no doubt that the type of heinous people and behaviour depicted in this novel existed and exist, but it was a lot. I was happy that there were as many kind people as there were evil.
The storyline I really liked was how difficult it was for a single woman to support herself, with very few options open to her. It is a reality that speaks to the need for women to have the vote and to be educated.
All in all a really interesting read!
Hamer does a wonderful job of bringing the historical details to this story, and the details are what make the story work. She also weaves the Suffragist movement into the storyline in a way that feels natural. There was some horrific violence that I could have lived without, I have no doubt that the type of heinous people and behaviour depicted in this novel existed and exist, but it was a lot. I was happy that there were as many kind people as there were evil.
The storyline I really liked was how difficult it was for a single woman to support herself, with very few options open to her. It is a reality that speaks to the need for women to have the vote and to be educated.
All in all a really interesting read!
September 23, 2021
A Lovely Story That Progressively Draws You In
I didn’t understand at first where this delightful late 19th century fiction was going because there is an unfortunate history to literature revolving around transition stories. However, I soon realised I needn’t have worried because this is a totally engaging story, well paced, that evolves very satisfyingly into a love story against painful odds. The characters are well fleshed, the settings very visual, and the dialogue is beautifully executed. Yes, you’ll have to forgive one slightly outrageous liberty with endocrinology to provide an essential enabler, but it’s a romantic fiction after all! And there’s a deeper message too, involving very current arguments that still rage. I think you’ll enjoy it.
I didn’t understand at first where this delightful late 19th century fiction was going because there is an unfortunate history to literature revolving around transition stories. However, I soon realised I needn’t have worried because this is a totally engaging story, well paced, that evolves very satisfyingly into a love story against painful odds. The characters are well fleshed, the settings very visual, and the dialogue is beautifully executed. Yes, you’ll have to forgive one slightly outrageous liberty with endocrinology to provide an essential enabler, but it’s a romantic fiction after all! And there’s a deeper message too, involving very current arguments that still rage. I think you’ll enjoy it.
January 7, 2022
An original and interesting story and one that is told with respect and honestly. I found this book hard to put down and look forward to reading more from this author.
October 10, 2021
The transfeminine historical romance I needed to read this fall
Alexandra Hamer's novel "To be a girl" moved me very strongly. It is a trans coming-of-age story set in the late 1800s, within the scope of a historical romance. Like the works of the Wachowski sisters, it serves a very specific literary purpose, namely to tell ultimately a story of happiness and safety made all the stronger for the amount of obstacles overcome. Some may accuse such works of being wish fulfilment fantasies, but for those of us who lived too long with fundamental existential sorrow and dread, those fantasies are all too rare and I appreciate much being allowed to consume them undiluted. If you do not want that, there are many other stories you can enjoy, though you may also come to understand more viscerally the core audience of a book such as this if you take the opportunity to read it. To girls like me, I can only say that you most likely will want to read this, that you deserve to escape into this story for a time. I recommend it in the strongest terms.
This work matches genre criteria and I would say is not too far afield historically. In principle, all that is told could have happened, though relying on many rare chances - that said, the heroine understands herself to be "singular". I know that for some parts that may seem outlandish to cis readers, reality is sometimes even stranger than the fiction. My only minor disappointment is that the suffragette depictions feel somewhat flat and could have been taken further - possibly by letting the story continue; in fact, I would very gladly read such a sequel. Hamer does a good job of locating credibly present-day discourse in her late 19th century. We see depicted invisibilized trans sapphic existence, Raymondian and Blanchardian transphobia, and chaser violence. Having heard Naples had a local historical gender variant subculture, I had expected that to show up; as it is, I believe we have at least a cameo. There is substantial darkness to the story; despair, exposure, sexual abuse, mental illness, dysphoria and transphobia; all necessary to the story but especially a transfeminine reader will have an emotional read; worth it but good to be prepared for.
Alexandra Hamer's novel "To be a girl" moved me very strongly. It is a trans coming-of-age story set in the late 1800s, within the scope of a historical romance. Like the works of the Wachowski sisters, it serves a very specific literary purpose, namely to tell ultimately a story of happiness and safety made all the stronger for the amount of obstacles overcome. Some may accuse such works of being wish fulfilment fantasies, but for those of us who lived too long with fundamental existential sorrow and dread, those fantasies are all too rare and I appreciate much being allowed to consume them undiluted. If you do not want that, there are many other stories you can enjoy, though you may also come to understand more viscerally the core audience of a book such as this if you take the opportunity to read it. To girls like me, I can only say that you most likely will want to read this, that you deserve to escape into this story for a time. I recommend it in the strongest terms.
This work matches genre criteria and I would say is not too far afield historically. In principle, all that is told could have happened, though relying on many rare chances - that said, the heroine understands herself to be "singular". I know that for some parts that may seem outlandish to cis readers, reality is sometimes even stranger than the fiction. My only minor disappointment is that the suffragette depictions feel somewhat flat and could have been taken further - possibly by letting the story continue; in fact, I would very gladly read such a sequel. Hamer does a good job of locating credibly present-day discourse in her late 19th century. We see depicted invisibilized trans sapphic existence, Raymondian and Blanchardian transphobia, and chaser violence. Having heard Naples had a local historical gender variant subculture, I had expected that to show up; as it is, I believe we have at least a cameo. There is substantial darkness to the story; despair, exposure, sexual abuse, mental illness, dysphoria and transphobia; all necessary to the story but especially a transfeminine reader will have an emotional read; worth it but good to be prepared for.
April 29, 2024
this was incredible! very heart-wrenching and there were parts that were difficult to read, but i’d be lying if i said i wasn’t (sadly) expecting it. there was one moment i was completely shocked/amazed at and all i’ll say is maybe don’t read this if you’re squeamish… i don’t know how realistic that part was, but i definitely need to look more into what it was like being a trans woman historically and this book already opened my eyes on a certain hormone option which i found super interesting.
i really liked the conversations on the differences between men dressing up as women vs trans women, and how gender is a feeling rather than a biological preconception. i also liked the mention of the suffragist movement and thought it was so important to convey the loss of privileges trans women have when they are seen as women, as opposed to when they were seen as men and also how they face the same harassment and violence, and more, from men as cis women do. so if they were really men as some “feminists” insist, literally why would they put themselves through all of that???
another thing i loved was emmeline being a lesbian like yesss more trans lesbian stories please!! there were some plot points that were predictable but i’m happy about most of them, especially the one near the end… although i never know if the endings of books are actually rushed, or if i just feel that way because i read it all in one sitting. anyway, would definitely recommend this book and am glad i finally picked it up after it sitting on my shelves for a couple of years!
i really liked the conversations on the differences between men dressing up as women vs trans women, and how gender is a feeling rather than a biological preconception. i also liked the mention of the suffragist movement and thought it was so important to convey the loss of privileges trans women have when they are seen as women, as opposed to when they were seen as men and also how they face the same harassment and violence, and more, from men as cis women do. so if they were really men as some “feminists” insist, literally why would they put themselves through all of that???
another thing i loved was emmeline being a lesbian like yesss more trans lesbian stories please!! there were some plot points that were predictable but i’m happy about most of them, especially the one near the end… although i never know if the endings of books are actually rushed, or if i just feel that way because i read it all in one sitting. anyway, would definitely recommend this book and am glad i finally picked it up after it sitting on my shelves for a couple of years!
July 12, 2022
I loved this book.
It completely captured me. The dual setting of England and Naples, the action complete with a terrifying villain, the sweet, slow-burn love story, the coming-of-age drama, the colourful side characters including suffragettes - this book had me from beginning to end.
It reminded me a lot of Tipping the Velvet, one of my favourite lesbian stories - but the trans protagonist’s fight to be themselves were eye opening (to this cis reader!) and something I’ve never considered before. My heart was in my throat for this character.
This is a self-published book and there are a few typos - missed quotation marks, etc. I also have questions about how realistic some of the events are, for that period.
However, the questions just make me curious to research, and the typos do not take away from how great this story is. My wife actually got annoyed at how often I was audibly gasping, as I was reading! (I’m going to make her read it herself, and then she’ll understand!)
Highly recommend. I’ll be looking for more from this author!
It completely captured me. The dual setting of England and Naples, the action complete with a terrifying villain, the sweet, slow-burn love story, the coming-of-age drama, the colourful side characters including suffragettes - this book had me from beginning to end.
It reminded me a lot of Tipping the Velvet, one of my favourite lesbian stories - but the trans protagonist’s fight to be themselves were eye opening (to this cis reader!) and something I’ve never considered before. My heart was in my throat for this character.
This is a self-published book and there are a few typos - missed quotation marks, etc. I also have questions about how realistic some of the events are, for that period.
However, the questions just make me curious to research, and the typos do not take away from how great this story is. My wife actually got annoyed at how often I was audibly gasping, as I was reading! (I’m going to make her read it herself, and then she’ll understand!)
Highly recommend. I’ll be looking for more from this author!
December 14, 2025
Plucked this off of a library shelf on a whim and plowed through it despite reading other books at the same time. Dark Victorian thriller voiced in the honesty of a trauma memoir; this is a gritty, charming, ultimately romantic tale. The protagonist faces her grim reality of being a transgender girl in 19th century Europe with scrappy intellect, and the story as a whole sinks its teeth into this premise with gusto. Her circumstances reflect countless untold stories we can only speculate about, and her harrowing resolve paints an impressionistic picture of these hidden lives lost to oppression and time. While it is a page-turner, take caution that it truly is not a light read - nor YA despite its protagonist's age - this story has scenes of abuse and assault. But while its villain has the ghoulishness of those of classic Grim fairytales, the story itself is grounded in humanism. Favorite detail: "Brown?"
September 1, 2021
A very powerful book. The end seemed a little rushed, but I could have happily read something 100 pages longer. A gripping read (I read the first half in one sitting) and handles some very dark topics. There are occasional, minor, typos, missing punctuation, but there is a plot, a beautifully constructed world, the characters are spot on and the pacing is perfect; the era is painted vividly with enough external references to suspend all disbelief. It does make you wonder at the relatively short distance we've progressed and how much longer it'll take to get to a much better world.
April 9, 2022
“There is more to being a woman than one small detail of anatomy.”
🐈 I stumbled upon To Be a Girl: A transgender girl’s breathtaking fight to survive as herself in Victorian England by Alexandra Hamer and I’m so glad that I did. It was an emotional and detailed story, about the power and importance of being able to be one’s self. A solid read, but I def recommend looking at content warnings for this one. 🐈
🐈 I stumbled upon To Be a Girl: A transgender girl’s breathtaking fight to survive as herself in Victorian England by Alexandra Hamer and I’m so glad that I did. It was an emotional and detailed story, about the power and importance of being able to be one’s self. A solid read, but I def recommend looking at content warnings for this one. 🐈
March 21, 2022
Breathtaking
This was a real page turner. It requires only one small suspension of disbelief on one plot point, but otherwise it is engaging to read about a trans person in a time and place where it was simply not allowed.
The narrator is plucky and the other characters well drawn, and the story hangs together quite well.
This was a real page turner. It requires only one small suspension of disbelief on one plot point, but otherwise it is engaging to read about a trans person in a time and place where it was simply not allowed.
The narrator is plucky and the other characters well drawn, and the story hangs together quite well.
April 16, 2022
Wonderful Story
There are some books that you enjoy but are happy to move on and some, like this book, where you can’t put the book down, yet at the same time, you don’t want it to end. The book was beautifully written and I thoroughly enjoyed reading Emmeline’s journey, with all its ups and downs.
There are some books that you enjoy but are happy to move on and some, like this book, where you can’t put the book down, yet at the same time, you don’t want it to end. The book was beautifully written and I thoroughly enjoyed reading Emmeline’s journey, with all its ups and downs.
August 13, 2022
I thought it was pretty poor to be honest. It went off on weird tangents at times and I didn’t find it particularly interesting or engaging and after finding myself rolling my eyes I realised it was time to put it down and move on to a different book. It wasn’t for me sadly. I think the premise could have been interesting but by a better author
October 21, 2021
What an incredible journey through life
This story is more non fiction than fiction. It has everything in a great story. Intrigue,love, danger,pain and eventual delivery to and existence. More please following Florence and Emmeline's adventures.
This story is more non fiction than fiction. It has everything in a great story. Intrigue,love, danger,pain and eventual delivery to and existence. More please following Florence and Emmeline's adventures.
October 22, 2021
Really good
Ok. I had fun with this. I loved the story, people and situations. The only thing that might have been a bit negative was that all through the suffrage meetings, all that I could think of was the Peoples Front of Judea. Other than that, it was good
Ok. I had fun with this. I loved the story, people and situations. The only thing that might have been a bit negative was that all through the suffrage meetings, all that I could think of was the Peoples Front of Judea. Other than that, it was good
December 7, 2021
Unusual but entertaining
There are many books. But they fall into two categories. Those that have to be abandoned partway through. And those that, through dint of craftsmanship, and sheer exuberance, carry you to the final page. This is one of the latter. 'Nuff said.
There are many books. But they fall into two categories. Those that have to be abandoned partway through. And those that, through dint of craftsmanship, and sheer exuberance, carry you to the final page. This is one of the latter. 'Nuff said.
February 16, 2022
Some reviews I have seen for this book state that the writing style is simple, but that it completely suits this story. I fully agree with this.
Parts of the story are a bit predictable, but that didn't stop me from getting lost in the story and completely enjoying it.
Parts of the story are a bit predictable, but that didn't stop me from getting lost in the story and completely enjoying it.
April 14, 2022
Unique Storyline
I loved the story and was pleasantly surprised by the unexpected ending. Well done Alexandra! I hope you have other stories in you as I certainly will look for them.
Thank you
I loved the story and was pleasantly surprised by the unexpected ending. Well done Alexandra! I hope you have other stories in you as I certainly will look for them.
Thank you
May 15, 2022
An exciting adventure
This is a wonderful debut novel. Excellent pacing and character development see this story from start to finish. I look forward from more from this author in the future.
This is a wonderful debut novel. Excellent pacing and character development see this story from start to finish. I look forward from more from this author in the future.
May 20, 2022
A sense of Self, truly incredible
The writing of a a girls story and how she took the troubles in becoming one. Inspiring writing which made you feel a sense of self and to never believe others against how you feel yourself. A difficult but breathtaking read
The writing of a a girls story and how she took the troubles in becoming one. Inspiring writing which made you feel a sense of self and to never believe others against how you feel yourself. A difficult but breathtaking read
November 16, 2021
Trauma to love, it's suspenseful and holds attention. I recommend reading this.
February 23, 2022
Excellent
One of the best transgender romances story I have read it was a very interesting look at how we loved back then
One of the best transgender romances story I have read it was a very interesting look at how we loved back then
October 10, 2022
to be a girl
Lovely story well written and told l, I felt a total empathy with Emmaline and it kept me worrying about her until the end
Lovely story well written and told l, I felt a total empathy with Emmaline and it kept me worrying about her until the end
March 25, 2023
Unable to put down. A shocking drama. Oliver Twist style and era. Brutal. Each choice is a domino effect. Twist ending.
October 2, 2023
This is such a great book. It really touched me, and made me cry. Not hard to do, but I still love it.
December 16, 2022
There was some pretty violent scenes, (which may have been realistic for the times and for transphobia), but it was too much for me, so I only partially read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews