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Catastrophic Rupture: A Memoir of Healing
As a pediatric critical care physician and an ethicist, Jane Lee was accustomed to caring for children with a range of serious conditions and disabilities, and felt comfortable helping families navigate decision-making for these children. When a complicated delivery leaves her second child with a severe brain injury, she finds that everything she learned about disability and personhood as a physician and ethicist is no help as a parent.
This book allows the reader to walk alongside the author as she struggles to bond with and love her child, as she reconciles what is happening at home with her ongoing role as a physician to patients and families in similar circumstances, and as she shifts from the medical perspective of disability that sees an impaired body to the mother's perspective that sees the beauty and value in the person that is her child.
All author profits will be donated to the Complex Care Program at Children's Wisconsin and the Medical Humanities Program at the Medical College of Wisconsin.
This book allows the reader to walk alongside the author as she struggles to bond with and love her child, as she reconciles what is happening at home with her ongoing role as a physician to patients and families in similar circumstances, and as she shifts from the medical perspective of disability that sees an impaired body to the mother's perspective that sees the beauty and value in the person that is her child.
All author profits will be donated to the Complex Care Program at Children's Wisconsin and the Medical Humanities Program at the Medical College of Wisconsin.
152 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 26, 2021
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews
October 14, 2021
I don't often read non-fiction, mostly for two reasons: it's rarely as well written as fiction (I think because the authors are more interested in making their points rather than how it is written) and I think more 'truth' about humanity, life etc can be revealed in fiction as it not bound by the limitations of facts. Well, this book succeeded in proving me wrong on both points! This is a very well written memoir of a mother and child's relationship, and the exploration of the growth and changes with Jo's (and Jane's) life. It is all the more impactful, given the enormity of Jo's medical needs. This book digs many layers below the first 'truth' to get at the deeper issues and meaning, making it a very powerful read.
November 16, 2025
It's rare that I lose sleep over a book, but after going to bed last night I couldn't stop thinking about this book and ended up giving in and finishing it at 4 am. This book was so honest and it truly felt like I was reading an account of the thoughts that would go through my head in this family's situation- bad and horrible thoughts included. It made me reflect on how I view and treat kids with neurologic disabilities and I saw exactly what Dr. Lee describes other doctors doing in my own actions. It particularly struck me how people were described as always being kind and compassionate to her child but still did not see her daughter as a real person. Specifically, her reflection that all people are multifaceted but for her child it seems that the facets are more defined and sharpened such that when doctors see one facet they think that is the only one that makes up her personhood is something I will hold very closely.
I have had multiple experiences with children with encephalopathy and severe neurologic injury and their families that I reflect on frequently and this book offered yet another angle from which to analyze those experiences. It also provided insight into parenting a child with disabilities, something I have worried about being able to do should it be in my future. Like the author, I am all too aware of everything that can go wrong in development, birth, and beyond, and that the act of becoming a parent should also be the act of accepting that you will be responsible for loving and raising a human even when they don't fit your predefined expectations for them. Even if a child doesn't have a disability this is something one should accept.
Finally, reading this book at a point in my life when I am struggling to make a decision about my career, which feels so monumental, was also a cause for deep reflection. I don't know if this was intentional, but as the story progresses, Dr. Lee focuses less and less on her career, hardly even mentioning it in the second half of the book despite her early comments on how she would often be working 100 hour weeks on top of everything going on in her family life. At some point she changed specialties within pediatrics, and yet she doesn't even mention the process of making this decision. For me it highlights that perhaps the career decision is not what will define my human experience even though it may define what takes up a large portion of my time.
I have had multiple experiences with children with encephalopathy and severe neurologic injury and their families that I reflect on frequently and this book offered yet another angle from which to analyze those experiences. It also provided insight into parenting a child with disabilities, something I have worried about being able to do should it be in my future. Like the author, I am all too aware of everything that can go wrong in development, birth, and beyond, and that the act of becoming a parent should also be the act of accepting that you will be responsible for loving and raising a human even when they don't fit your predefined expectations for them. Even if a child doesn't have a disability this is something one should accept.
Finally, reading this book at a point in my life when I am struggling to make a decision about my career, which feels so monumental, was also a cause for deep reflection. I don't know if this was intentional, but as the story progresses, Dr. Lee focuses less and less on her career, hardly even mentioning it in the second half of the book despite her early comments on how she would often be working 100 hour weeks on top of everything going on in her family life. At some point she changed specialties within pediatrics, and yet she doesn't even mention the process of making this decision. For me it highlights that perhaps the career decision is not what will define my human experience even though it may define what takes up a large portion of my time.
October 30, 2021
Catastrophic Rupture: A Memoir of Healing is an amazing, important book. It is both easy and difficult to read; “easy” in that it is beautifully crafted, spare in its prose, and direct, and “difficult” in that it shares a hard reality that I have never previously encountered or explored.
K. Jane Lee, MD writes with a compelling ferocity, opening with honesty and insight the world where she, Josephine, and their family live. It is a place where communication will always be more difficult that I can understand and where three minus three is purple. I feel honored to have been allowed to watch as they share the joys and challenges of that place.
As a physician, I was stunned to learn that it was months after the devastating events of Josephine’s birth before anyone from the hospital or medical team, despite being concerned and empathic, said they were truly sorry for what had happened. Words matter.
Toni Morrison once said, “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.” Dr. Lee has crafted just such a book.
K. Jane Lee, MD writes with a compelling ferocity, opening with honesty and insight the world where she, Josephine, and their family live. It is a place where communication will always be more difficult that I can understand and where three minus three is purple. I feel honored to have been allowed to watch as they share the joys and challenges of that place.
As a physician, I was stunned to learn that it was months after the devastating events of Josephine’s birth before anyone from the hospital or medical team, despite being concerned and empathic, said they were truly sorry for what had happened. Words matter.
Toni Morrison once said, “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.” Dr. Lee has crafted just such a book.
October 23, 2021
Beautiful brave humbling memoir. I cried, I cringed, I grieved along with Dr Lee. Thank you for sharing your heart so intimately with us. I will be a better mother. I will be a more empathic physician. Impossible to not be changed in some way after reading your story. Catastrophic rupture should be read by all health care professionals especially those in training. It changes the lens to which we view our patients. It should be read by anyone who loves children. It changes the lens to which we view humanity.
April 19, 2025
A reflective story. I sadly caught myself in some of Dr. Lee’s descriptions of how other healthcare providers talk about and respond to children with special needs. Reading how her perceptions were changed through her own experiences is an opportunity for growth for all healthcare providers. Sadly we don’t get to see the sassy, funny child when they are sick but we must remember we are seeing a snapshot of their life.
January 21, 2025
4.5 ⭐️
Recounts a mothers struggle to fully accept and love her special needs daughter. Real and raw and honest look into what it’s like raise a child with a disability. Only wish it was a little longer to wrap up the book better and give more information on how the mother-daughter relationship has grown as she got a little older
Recounts a mothers struggle to fully accept and love her special needs daughter. Real and raw and honest look into what it’s like raise a child with a disability. Only wish it was a little longer to wrap up the book better and give more information on how the mother-daughter relationship has grown as she got a little older
February 22, 2024
all my people at Children’s are ANGELS and Dr. Lee is no exception! must read for all HCWs
August 27, 2021
‘’I needed to be with her. Not because I felt a deep love or bond (to be honest, I felt neither) but rather because that is what I thought a good parent would do, and I needed to feel like a good parent.’’
Dr. Kimberly Jane Lee is a paediatric critical care physician, who is used to seeing absolute tragedies on an almost daily base. As a physician she is prepared to treat these children, take critical stands in decision-making, and to a certain extend support their families. However, when her own personal life takes a turn, she realises only how little real empathy she was able to bring up.
Catastrophic Rupture is an emotional, honest, raw and at times heartbreaking memoir in which the author describes her emotional, financial and practical difficulties raising her second child that’s born with severe brain damage after a traumatic child birth.
‘’She wasn’t terribly sick, but she certainly wasn’t well. Not dying, not really living.’’
With Catastrophic Rupture, dr. Lee provides a highly introspective work that may benefit many parents (or other relatives) that struggle with raising a child with severe disabilities. How does one deal with guilt? With not feeling like you can’t simply love your child? With practical difficulties, such as insurance not covering basic care necessities? With legal procedures against a hospital? These are only some of the questions dr. Lee discusses in a beautiful way without ever getting overly emotional.
In addition, the author describes many lessons she took as a physician, which I believe may highly benefit many of her colleagues - including myself. How can we improve our communication with our patients and their families? How can we be more empathic? How should we reflect on our own views versus the views of the family, especially when these lead to conflicts in treatment decisions? Two quotes that really stand out:
‘’Upon learning of this disconnect, I realised that much of what we say in medicine has another laying of meaning. If we want to communicate well, it is not enough to make sure patients and families understand the words we are using. We need to go a step further and make sure they understand the implications of those words.’’
And:
‘’Communication gets a lot of attention in medicine, in large part because we physicians are notoriously bad at it. We use words and abbreviations that nobody understands, we’re blunt and brusque when we should be empathetic and compassionate, we deliver orders that are unclear and imprecise in a manner that discourages questions or attempts at clarification’’.
Throughout the book the author relates to her personal struggles, which must be so relatable for many a parent raising a child with disabilities. We feel the insecurities, the doubts, the pain, all the conflicting emotions. But we also get to meet Josephine. Who lives life in her own beautiful way, who achieves her own incredible milestones, who teaches us some very important live lessons.. We see Josephine through the eyes of medical diagnosis, of a struggling mother, of a loving father, and above all: through the eyes of her classmates. Who all love her just for who she is: a funny kind soul with her own special character.
Like dr. Lee describes: ‘’We are all multifaceted, but for children like Josephine, it seems the facets are sharper and more distinct. This can lead people to believe that the side they see is the only side that exists. … But I know now that our future will also hold wondrous moments of simple joy. Moments whose beauty I can only appreciate now, after learning that sometimes the best answer to three minus three is purple.
An incredible work. And to end on another amazing note: all author profits of this book are donated to the Complex Care Program of the Children’s Wisconsin and the Medical Humanities Program at the Medical College of Wisconsin.
Disclaimer: I received an eARC from Netgalley in exchange for a review.
Dr. Kimberly Jane Lee is a paediatric critical care physician, who is used to seeing absolute tragedies on an almost daily base. As a physician she is prepared to treat these children, take critical stands in decision-making, and to a certain extend support their families. However, when her own personal life takes a turn, she realises only how little real empathy she was able to bring up.
Catastrophic Rupture is an emotional, honest, raw and at times heartbreaking memoir in which the author describes her emotional, financial and practical difficulties raising her second child that’s born with severe brain damage after a traumatic child birth.
‘’She wasn’t terribly sick, but she certainly wasn’t well. Not dying, not really living.’’
With Catastrophic Rupture, dr. Lee provides a highly introspective work that may benefit many parents (or other relatives) that struggle with raising a child with severe disabilities. How does one deal with guilt? With not feeling like you can’t simply love your child? With practical difficulties, such as insurance not covering basic care necessities? With legal procedures against a hospital? These are only some of the questions dr. Lee discusses in a beautiful way without ever getting overly emotional.
In addition, the author describes many lessons she took as a physician, which I believe may highly benefit many of her colleagues - including myself. How can we improve our communication with our patients and their families? How can we be more empathic? How should we reflect on our own views versus the views of the family, especially when these lead to conflicts in treatment decisions? Two quotes that really stand out:
‘’Upon learning of this disconnect, I realised that much of what we say in medicine has another laying of meaning. If we want to communicate well, it is not enough to make sure patients and families understand the words we are using. We need to go a step further and make sure they understand the implications of those words.’’
And:
‘’Communication gets a lot of attention in medicine, in large part because we physicians are notoriously bad at it. We use words and abbreviations that nobody understands, we’re blunt and brusque when we should be empathetic and compassionate, we deliver orders that are unclear and imprecise in a manner that discourages questions or attempts at clarification’’.
Throughout the book the author relates to her personal struggles, which must be so relatable for many a parent raising a child with disabilities. We feel the insecurities, the doubts, the pain, all the conflicting emotions. But we also get to meet Josephine. Who lives life in her own beautiful way, who achieves her own incredible milestones, who teaches us some very important live lessons.. We see Josephine through the eyes of medical diagnosis, of a struggling mother, of a loving father, and above all: through the eyes of her classmates. Who all love her just for who she is: a funny kind soul with her own special character.
Like dr. Lee describes: ‘’We are all multifaceted, but for children like Josephine, it seems the facets are sharper and more distinct. This can lead people to believe that the side they see is the only side that exists. … But I know now that our future will also hold wondrous moments of simple joy. Moments whose beauty I can only appreciate now, after learning that sometimes the best answer to three minus three is purple.
An incredible work. And to end on another amazing note: all author profits of this book are donated to the Complex Care Program of the Children’s Wisconsin and the Medical Humanities Program at the Medical College of Wisconsin.
Disclaimer: I received an eARC from Netgalley in exchange for a review.
August 31, 2021
Equally honest and heartfelt, this memoir of hope and healing will change how you look at life. I am in awe of Jane and how she has found a way to share her experiences in such a transformative way, pairing breathtaking honesty without judgment. Her words have changed the way I think not only about my profession (in pediatric critical care), but about humanity in general. I think my favorite line bucks up against the “everything happens for a reason” sentiment saying NO: “So while I don’t think Josephine’s brain injury happened for a reason whose meaning I was meant to discover, I do think the experience has meaning.” Whoa - that’s a lightbulb moment right there. Despite not personally experiencing what Jane describes, these pages ooze empathy and somehow I too feel seen. Thank you Jane, for sharing your story.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the advanced copy.
Thank you to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the advanced copy.
September 22, 2021
This is an incredible book and an absolute must read for healthcare professionals, educators, and anyone interested in reading about a mother's journey to find love and peace even through the heartbreak and difficulties of raising a child with severe brain injury. Jane's background as a pediatric critical care physician provides a unique point of view as she describes how her personal experience has shaped her role as a physician caring for children with medical complexity.
I could not put this book down - highly recommend!
I could not put this book down - highly recommend!
January 2, 2022
Phenomenal!! I couldn't put it down once I started it. So beautifully written and honestly gave me an entirely new perspective about the patients and families I care for. I can only hope this book will be part of medical/nursing/healthcare curriculum going forward-- something everyone should read. I am not one to re-read books, but I already know I will read this one again!
March 29, 2024
In one of my courses, this semester, we watched a lecture by K. Jane Lee, MD, where she discussed her book Catastrophic Rupture. Dr. Lee is a pediatric specialist in complex and critical care at Children's Wisconsin. I think most women going into labor and delivery don't imagine a catastrophic outcome because they are not aware of the statistics. K. Jane Lee and her partner, also a doctor, were well aware of the statistics. Dr. Lee, especially, as she daily works in critical care pediatrics. They went into each pregnancy well aware of the bad statistics and Dr. Lee mentions this, especially when contemplating a second pregnancy after her healthy and uncomplicated first-born. Jason had witnessed firsthand the things that could go wrong with human beings. He did not take our bright, healthy, beautiful child for granted. He didn’t assume that things would work out as well a second time around. p. 24 Unfortunately, everything that could have gone wrong did occur and her second child, Josephine, was born with severe neurological deficits.
The remaining memoir describes this family's journey coming to terms with Josephine's disabilities. Along the way, K. Jane Lee learns to stop projecting her own goals and dreams onto Josephine and to simply love and accept her for the wonderful person that she is. Dr. Lee has a humble writing style and I appreciate her honest thoughts in raising Josephine. Her love and pride for Josephine, and her entire family, shine through.
Of course I love this quote:
As the bedrock of the team, the nurses are crucial. They initiate care and handle many issues independently. They are the eyes, ears, and hands at the bedside. The team depends on them to recognize when things are not right and raise the alert. The attending depends on them to jump up the chain and call them directly when the nurse sees a resident floundering. Usually the nurses do a great job. They save the patients; they save the team. But sometimes they encounter something new that they haven’t been taught to recognize, let alone respond to. Sometimes they are overwhelmed or fatigued. Sometimes things slip through. pp. 107-108, Ten16 Press. Kindle Edition.
The remaining memoir describes this family's journey coming to terms with Josephine's disabilities. Along the way, K. Jane Lee learns to stop projecting her own goals and dreams onto Josephine and to simply love and accept her for the wonderful person that she is. Dr. Lee has a humble writing style and I appreciate her honest thoughts in raising Josephine. Her love and pride for Josephine, and her entire family, shine through.
Of course I love this quote:
As the bedrock of the team, the nurses are crucial. They initiate care and handle many issues independently. They are the eyes, ears, and hands at the bedside. The team depends on them to recognize when things are not right and raise the alert. The attending depends on them to jump up the chain and call them directly when the nurse sees a resident floundering. Usually the nurses do a great job. They save the patients; they save the team. But sometimes they encounter something new that they haven’t been taught to recognize, let alone respond to. Sometimes they are overwhelmed or fatigued. Sometimes things slip through. pp. 107-108, Ten16 Press. Kindle Edition.
August 21, 2021
“When I Was Simply a Doctor” is the first chapter in Catastrophic Rupture, a thought provoking, heart breaking memoir describing the rupture of heart, body and life.
K. Jane Lee is a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit Physician who specializes in bioethics. She’s been trained to deal with parents of gravely injured children and those of children with neurological deficits. She’s also a mother. She and her husband Jason have a son and are expecting a daughter, Josephine. The decision Jane makes to have a vaginal birth instead of a second cesarean will move her into an unexpected future.
How she learns to accept that uncertain future is the main theme of Catastrophic Rupture. Jane and Jason must fight insurance companies for needed benefits, deal with lawyers, handle home medical care and begin to form the family they didn’t plan to have. Jane writes beautifully and describes how her feelings change toward Jo. Her descriptions of how people, strangers, classmates, doctors and therapists,“see” her daughter are especially poignant. What Jane wants is for Josephine is “that she feels loved - deeply, fiercely loved, that she feels valued and expected and known, that she feels fulfillment and contentment with her life”. Isn’t that what all parents want for their children? Thank you, Jane Lee.
Thank you to NetGalley,
K. Jane Lee is a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit Physician who specializes in bioethics. She’s been trained to deal with parents of gravely injured children and those of children with neurological deficits. She’s also a mother. She and her husband Jason have a son and are expecting a daughter, Josephine. The decision Jane makes to have a vaginal birth instead of a second cesarean will move her into an unexpected future.
How she learns to accept that uncertain future is the main theme of Catastrophic Rupture. Jane and Jason must fight insurance companies for needed benefits, deal with lawyers, handle home medical care and begin to form the family they didn’t plan to have. Jane writes beautifully and describes how her feelings change toward Jo. Her descriptions of how people, strangers, classmates, doctors and therapists,“see” her daughter are especially poignant. What Jane wants is for Josephine is “that she feels loved - deeply, fiercely loved, that she feels valued and expected and known, that she feels fulfillment and contentment with her life”. Isn’t that what all parents want for their children? Thank you, Jane Lee.
Thank you to NetGalley,
July 18, 2021
Thank you to NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for a review.
Jane Lee is a Paediatric Intensive Care Unit Physician and she is comfortable dealing with medically complex cases. However, when her daughter is born there are complications during her birth and she sustains a severe brain injury. Her daughter is not verbal, has limited motor skills, cannot make eye contact or smile and has a long list of medical issues. Suddenly Jane is not approaching a medically complex child as a physician but as a parent. This is her journey as a parent and how it ultimately changes her approach as a physician.
This book was very well written. It was honest and written in a way that was accessible to the reader allowing them to sympathize and understand her perspective and her story. It written in a way that was able to give me a perspective into a world/situation that I have never been exposed to first hand. I think that this would be a good book for anyone, but especially parents with medically complex or non-verbal children. All in all a great read with a new perspective.
Jane Lee is a Paediatric Intensive Care Unit Physician and she is comfortable dealing with medically complex cases. However, when her daughter is born there are complications during her birth and she sustains a severe brain injury. Her daughter is not verbal, has limited motor skills, cannot make eye contact or smile and has a long list of medical issues. Suddenly Jane is not approaching a medically complex child as a physician but as a parent. This is her journey as a parent and how it ultimately changes her approach as a physician.
This book was very well written. It was honest and written in a way that was accessible to the reader allowing them to sympathize and understand her perspective and her story. It written in a way that was able to give me a perspective into a world/situation that I have never been exposed to first hand. I think that this would be a good book for anyone, but especially parents with medically complex or non-verbal children. All in all a great read with a new perspective.
August 12, 2025
“I realized my real hopes for Josephine are that she feels loved—deeply, fiercely loved, that she feels valued and respected and known, that she feels fulfillment and contentment with her life. I want Josephine to be at peace with who she is. I realized that none of those things are dependent on specific abilities or disabilities. They are dependent on who she is as a person, and how we treat her as a person. And when that thought arrived, I found my peace.”
Short but substantial read about a mother who has a child with HIE from a traumatic uterine rupture and had to adjust her expectations of motherhood as a result. It was profound to hear her shift in understanding about chronically sick children going from a PICU attending to a mother with a disabled child herself; her journey of empathy building was really poignant. On top of that, her writing style is so elegant and soft spoken that it really lets the impact of her story sit on the reader in its full weight. Incredible incredible read.
Short but substantial read about a mother who has a child with HIE from a traumatic uterine rupture and had to adjust her expectations of motherhood as a result. It was profound to hear her shift in understanding about chronically sick children going from a PICU attending to a mother with a disabled child herself; her journey of empathy building was really poignant. On top of that, her writing style is so elegant and soft spoken that it really lets the impact of her story sit on the reader in its full weight. Incredible incredible read.
November 12, 2021
Dr. Jane Lee’s smart and heartfelt memoir, Catastrophic Rupture: A Memoir of Healing takes the reader on a journey no parent willingly enters. A complicated delivery leaves her second child with a severe brain injury, forcing Dr. Lee and her family to radically redefine not only their day-to-day existence, but all their assumptions about what life with children would be. At the time of her daughter’s birth, Dr. Lee worked as a pediatric critical care physician and an ethicist—immensely skilled in caring for children and their families facing complicated medical diagnoses. But now, in prose that draws the reader into the heart of her emotions without being overly sentimental, Dr. Lee reexamines all she knows about being a physician, a parent, and even herself. I found Catastrophic Rupture difficult to put down and often had to remind myself to breathe—it's really that good!
August 31, 2021
Most of us have heard the saying, “Physician, heal thyself,” but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a better example of it in action than in this book. With honesty and grace, author, K. Jane Lee, MD, shares her journey from doctor caring for children with medically complex conditions to being a mother of one. She unflinchingly recounts the uncertain path from grief to acceptance to love. Dr. Lee is exactly the type of physician we would all want for our children and the type of mother we all might strive to be. You will love this book.
September 30, 2021
Excellent memoir from a physician and mother to a child with medical complexity. What impressed me most was the author's absence of vanity in honestly discussing what is usually unsaid- the difficulty in loving a child that doesn't meet your initial expectations, the displaced guilt and anger that occurs after a medical tragedy, and where those feelings take you, and finally the messy, tangential path to growth and acceptance. This book and its author seeks to give a voice to the countless families who are navigating a medical system not built for them. It is a brave piece of work, and I hope it reaches both parents and providers. Bravo, Jane.
February 22, 2022
Catastrophic Rupture A Memoir of Healing is a beautifully written, honest, heartfelt book. Through this book, Dr Jane Lee takes us on a journey as a mother and a doctor through tragedy, dark days, acceptance, love, hope and advocacy. She shares her challenges, her guilt and grief, teaching us all to see the hope in all people including ourselves. This book is a must read for anyone who is open to learning how to find the value in all humans, not just see the disability. I highly recommend you read this book!
November 7, 2021
Since I know the family, it takes on a different meaning for me. Since I work in obstetric anesthesiology in a large academic center, the book takes on another meaning for me. As a parent of two “normal” girls, I can’t fathom the sheer work needed to do daily cares for a child with issues like Jo, but after reading it, it’s clearer. I like to think seeing this story unfold through Jane’s eyes will also make me a better doctor, person, friend. Thanks for sharing the story with us.
November 17, 2021
I can’t stop thinking about the author, her daughter, and their family. This was a window into a life I have seen from the outside, but the author really brought me into her inner (brutally honest) dialogue.
From meeting with the fellow MDs whose treatment was not sufficient, to deciding to sue, to making goals for her daughter, and then those goals not being met. And finally…becoming a better human/parent/doctor.
A very strong recommendation.
From meeting with the fellow MDs whose treatment was not sufficient, to deciding to sue, to making goals for her daughter, and then those goals not being met. And finally…becoming a better human/parent/doctor.
A very strong recommendation.
December 11, 2021
Totally captivating. I really valued the theme of getting to know and love your child for who they are, unconditionally. As a pediatric critical care nurse there were parts that really spoke to me as a caregiver and a mother and she explains the intersection between the two so well. I’ll be thinking about this book for a while and after I lend it to all my friends, will need to read it again to remind myself of these lessons.
March 23, 2022
A beautiful and honest memoir that I could not stop reading. The depth of emotions and feelings she had and shared throughout was incredible and very powerful to me as the reader. It gave me a deeper sense of understanding of people with disabilities, something I think about often. Particularly those with neurological disabilities and they way they are treated by others. It was incredibly moving to read and brought me to tears many times.
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April 7, 2025feels weird to rate memoirs so i wont but loved how vulnerable the author was. super eye opening to see how her care for her patients and families changed after she became one of them & convicting in a way (??) for how quick i can be to judge my families for decisions they make that i wouldn’t. but like truly you can’t understand until you’re in that position so who am i to judge even a smidge !! oh and was hoping to see a pic of miss Jo the whole time so glad to have gotten it in the end
May 13, 2024
Easily 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
One of the most beautiful pieces I’ve read. There is something deeply moving about Dr. Lee’s vulnerability and path towards healing in the face of something unexpected with the grief of what no longer can be. This book emphasizes that communication matters and Dr. Lee’s story is something that will stick with me. This is a must read.
One of the most beautiful pieces I’ve read. There is something deeply moving about Dr. Lee’s vulnerability and path towards healing in the face of something unexpected with the grief of what no longer can be. This book emphasizes that communication matters and Dr. Lee’s story is something that will stick with me. This is a must read.
February 24, 2023
This was a great, quick read on the dichotomy of being a medical professional/mom of a medically-complex child. So interesting to see the inner workings of Dr. Jane Lee’s mind as she navigates her daughter’s needs!
June 12, 2023
easy read, eye opening to read as a nurse! Jo is someone I will think about as I continued to give care to patients who are suffer from physical / intellectual disabilities, or even non disabled but have a lifelong diagnosis
October 10, 2025
Beautifully raw & honest! Must read for anyone in the medical field. I don’t think health professionals truly understand the weight our words have on patients and their families. We are not defined solely by our medical record 🌞
November 14, 2025
As a PICU doctor whose partner is an ED doctor….wow. Thank you for sharing your story and experience. I cried, laughed, smiled, read the whole thing in one sitting. This book was shared with me by a resident rotating in the PICU. Your words and voice have reached so many people.
September 19, 2021
A beautiful, honest rendering of a mother’s journey with her daughter. Read the entire thing in one sitting it was so thought provoking and good.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 48 reviews