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47 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 30, 2021

"Christmas is our mother's Super Bowl, the Masters, the Summer Olympics, and the Monaco Grand Prix rolled into one." (Loc. 251)Christmas is only days away, and the Clauster family is gathering at the family home in Austin, Texas. Mom and Dad are joined by their three adult children, Channing, Sammy and Tyler, two partners, Doug and Angel, and Channing and Doug's four-year-old twin daughters, Lark and Sable.
"... it's not that I'm looking for some big accolades or round of applause. But it would be nice, I suppose, if my family acknowledged, even a little, that special moments are made special because of special effort. By me." (Loc. 128)All she really wants to do is watch her favourite daytime TV chat show, "The Zazzy Tims Morning Show". She's been sending links from the show to her children for weeks, but they've ignored them as irrelevant.
"What would happen should our mother not return home before the twenty-fifth of December, for instance? Nothing. Nothing would happen at all. And what kind of Christmas, pray tell, is that?"Increasingly frantically, the family retrace Claire's steps around suburban Austin, uncovering a strange altercation at the German butchers two days previously. But the crucial clue to her whereabouts arrives from an unexpected quarter. Will the Clausters be able to redeem themselves and discover the true meaning of Christmas, or will their festive season remain (to quote Dad) a complete Clausterf*ck?
It’s not that I’m looking for some big accolades or round of applause. But it would be nice, I suppose, if my family acknowledged, even a little, that special moments are made special because of special effort. By me.