True story: I once had a job offer in Vegas, but I turned it down. This was roughly ten years ago, before the housing market bubble imploded, when houses were being built by the second and spreading across the Nevada desert like some urban sprawl virus. The massive influx of people meant a demand for schools, which meant a demand for teachers.
As a fresh-out-of-graduate-school teacher, I was pretty eager to find a job. My interview for the Vegas school district went like this: Do you want a teaching job? Yes. Do you want a $2,000 signing bonus? Um, is this a trick question? Well, here’s the deal: Do you have a drinking problem? No. Gambling problem? No. Sex addiction? Not that I know of… Okay, you’re hired. If you want it.
That’s not an exaggeration.
I had a job waiting for me in Vegas, but I turned it down. For many reasons, really: the heat, the distance from my family, the fact that everything I knew about Vegas sadly came from CSI episodes and movies about the mafia. I hated Vegas, even though I’d never been there. I had no desire (and I still don’t) to ever visit, let alone live there. But, strangely enough, that’s not why I decided against it.
Actually, my interviewer made my decision for me.
I don’t recall her name, although I recall that she was a tall, blonde, leggy supermodel-gorgeous woman with her hair cut short in what I think is called a “bob”, the kind I always see Keira Knightley sporting. If I recall correctly, she looked like Jessica Chastain with glasses and with slightly bigger breasts. I do honestly remember thinking that if all female teachers in Vegas looked like this, I was ready to accept any position, even janitor. Within two minutes of the interview she had pretty much told me her life story up until that moment.
She told me that she and her husband of less than a year (they were practically newlyweds) moved to Vegas several years before. She, of course, immediately got a job teaching, which she loved. What she didn’t love was that her husband was spending a lot of late nights at the Strip, coming home drunk. He was also spending money like crazy, mostly from gambling (and, she suspected, visiting cathouses). Their marriage ended when she discovered that he had completely wiped clean their joint savings account.
She was in tears at this point. I had to get up and find a box of tissues for her. She calmed down and then proceeded with the afore-mentioned 30-second interview.
I don’t think she was that upset when I said “no” to the job. Or surprised. In fact, I think she may have been relieved. I don’t know for sure, obviously, but--regardless if her story was true or not---I bet she used that opener for every interview, tears and all. It was a test. If people said “yes” after all that, they were brave enough for Vegas.
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Reading Michael Connelly’s “Void Moon” automatically brought that story to mind, only because it reiterated everything I hate about Vegas.
I’ll be honest: I love noir fiction, but I’m not a huge fan of the “heist” caper. I usually find them pretty boring. To me, there is nothing interesting about thieves standing around blueprints and high-tech cat burglar gadgets, going on endlessly about how the plan has to work flawlessly, without any problems. The score is always ridiculously huge, and the risks are always ridiculously high.
And, of course, something ALWAYS goes wrong.
Needless to say, I wasn’t that excited early on in “Void Moon” when it looked to me like a run-of-the-mill Vegas heist caper. Luckily, it’s a Vegas heist caper written by Michael Connelly, so I shouldn’t have been worried.
Close to the half-way mark, the book goes from heist caper to psychotic killer story, and it kicks into high gear. By the two-thirds mark, when it becomes a high-stakes kidnapping story, I was on the edge of my seat.
Bravo, Connelly. Bra-fuckin’-vo!
I still hate Vegas, and I still have no desire to ever visit. I will live the “joys” of Vegas vicariously through movies like “Showgirls”, “Ocean’s Eleven”, “The Hangover”, and “Leaving Las Vegas”. You don’t have to convince me very hard that Vegas is a hellhole, thank you very much...