Down and Out

Down Home #3

by Parker St. John

His dark secret drove away the only boy he ever loved.

Nate:

Healer. Savior. Cynic.

The one person Nate could never ignore was Tucker Grace. He’s as cruel as he is gorgeous, with a devastating loneliness in his cold blue eyes.

Nate ditched his hell-raising childhood for the big city and a string of disastrous relationships. He’s a man people rely on, but he’s tired of fixing other people’s problems. So when a family crisis brings him home for the first time in years, the last thing Nate wants is to be drawn to the cruel cowboy he left in the dust.

Tucker is smoke and shadows, fury and calm, and as wild as the horses he tames. He looks at Nate like he craves him.

But Nate knows better than anyone that Tucker isn’t capable of love.

And even if he was…he’s straight.

Tucker:

Villain. Survivor. Cowboy.

The only thing Tucker ever wanted was Nate Silva, so he drove him away. Hard.

He never expected he’d come back.

Tucker has spent years clawing his way up from nothing. Ranch life taught him to control his savage temper, and his talent for breaking untamable horses earned him respect. He’s found peace.

Nate’s return threatens all that.

When a traumatized stallion forces them together, Tucker’s tightly reined control starts to fray. Nate’s soft eyes and softer mouth stir a lust that threatens everything Tucker has built.

Everything in him wants to claim Nate as his own…but dark secrets lurk in Tucker’s past.

He can’t trust himself with something as fragile as another man’s heart.

Even if it breaks his own.

Best-friends-turn-enemies-turn-lovers in this 65,000 word first-time-gay romance. Old feuds, dark secrets, loyal friends, and whole-hearted redemption fill this breathtaking novel with heat and heart. HEA guaranteed!

Genres: M M Romance, Westerns, Romance, Contemporary, Enemies To Lovers, Friends To Lovers, Second Chance

302 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 14, 2021

About the author

Gay romance author living in the rainy Pacific Northwest who adores strong alpha men, rugged cowboys, blue collar smokeshows, mortal enemies and childhood friends who will make you SWOON when they fall in love!

Reviews

[len ❀[ia bc of school] · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You're the best thing that ever happened to me,” Tucker said softly. “The best decision I ever made was wandering down the road the day your family moved in and asking you to play. Without you, I'd be lost. You're my best friend. My soulmate. The man I want to wake up next to every morning until the day I die.”

Down and Out is a perfect example of why I didn’t give up on this series, no matter how terrible the previous book(s) were. If I had, I would not have found this hidden gem and fallen in love with the town and characters when I couldn’t in the first two books. Down and Out had, and is, what Down Low and Down and Dirty weren’t and didn’t have–romance development, also known as the most critical part of a romance book.

The “childhood best friends to potential lovers to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers” is a superior trope and not one we see often. There is so much opportunity for angst, for the author to create a dynamic of push and pull between the main leads that leads to emotions expressed that were missed in their past. And fortunately for us, Parker St. John does that with Tuck and Nate.

I found myself rooting for these two early on. It’s always good to be at the 20% mark and enjoy the book, full of hope that it’ll continue improving, and Down and Out exceeds that. The development of the relationship is apparent through the beginning, but we see the relationship development take its pace. It’s slow, although not too excruciatingly slow. The author does a fantastic job of pulling at heartstrings and emotions, showing a glimpse of potential friendship throughout the story till the characters finally give in. Her pace works incredibly well here, offering the readers a timeline of different emotions for the time missed between the characters–hate for their lost friendship, confusion for their potential friendship, and rage for the feelings that have always been there. With how emotionally deep this author writes, it’s easy to see and understand how our two main leads feel, although we only get Nate's singular POV.

Nate and Tucker were childhood best friends, but with their different family situations, they grew apart, and a friendship that could have turned to more turned into enemy territory. Of course, we learn this happened through a misunderstanding, but our characters are mature enough not to let it define their new lives. While there is hate initially, the friendship is tantalizing, teasing readers with its growth. Tucker and Nate don’t become friends right from the start; instead, their bond develops. We see the two spending time together, first as two men in the exact location and then growing into friends again. I love how the author wrote this, not only because it was necessary (you can’t just put two former best friends turned enemies and not give them page time to catch up!) but it helps show their new feelings. With the different dynamics of the two and their personalities, showing this relationship is crucial to understanding where they’re coming from. If it isn’t, it’s difficult to pinpoint what the two like about each other, misrepresenting the progression without giving it enough substance. The author advances the relationship through Nate and Tucker without overdoing it. She adds enough substance to give us a picture of what is happening. There are so many sweet moments between the two: moments they reminisce about their childhood, times they regret their friendship ending. The angst is never nagging and is instead used as a plot device to move the story forward in an essential manner.

“I’m not leaving,” Nate said fiercely. “Now that I know you’re mine, I will never leave you. You’ve always been mine, no matter how far apart we were. Haven’t you?”
[...]
“And I’m yours,” Nate said simply. “I could spend the rest of my life on the opposite side of the world, and I’d still be yours. You own every beat of my heart, Tucker Grace. You always have.”

Nate and Tucker couldn’t be any more different. We have the stubborn, cranky cowboy who grew up in an abusive childhood and the small-town’s new vet who has returned home due to his mother’s stroke. Tucker is grumpy and cloudy because he is irritable, cranky, and constantly miserable. This was a minor issue I had, but nothing too extravagant that affected my overall enjoyment. We learn more about him, getting questions answered after meeting him in the first book. We learn more about his childhood, why he lashed out at Cal, why he let go of Nate but joined the football team, what he has been doing the entire time Nate was gone, and how everyone has given up on him. It’s easy to say that he’s my favorite. Tuck’s demeanor comes from a dysfunctional family, hopeless futures, and a lack of love. He’s cranky, has given up on life, and has no one to rely on, but he’s also caring willing to help those who are like him, and misunderstood. I love how St. John wrote him. His type of character is one of my favorites–the kind who doesn’t believe they’re worth loving, who think they’re not worth saving, and who would rather sacrifice themselves so the others could live because he believes his loss wouldn’t be noticed. Tuck is as miserable as they get, and we don’t see his character grow from this until the end. Part of the angst is through his character (kind of another Cal), making the story hopeless when there is hope. His push and pull towards Nate is written methodically, showing optimism, hope, and courage, only for it to be broken down, with another step taken backward. Regardless, I loved his character. I grew to love and understand him, sympathizing with his feelings for why he acted the way he did in the past.

On the other hand, Nate is much more reliant but also carries some of his demons. What I loved about him is that he differed from the previous characters, who all felt the same to me, and how easy it is to tell him apart. He doesn’t use his past to define the present or use the past to lash at others and project their emotions. Instead, he grows from it, and even though he does hold some grudges and anger, it comes from misjudgment, assumptions, and current feelings. His character shines through different ways, such as how he wants to show Tuck he’s worth it, how he’s willing to fight for what he believes in, how he came back home for those he loves and doesn’t use it against them. Nate comes off as judgemental at first, but I loved his gradual development, slowly showing us how he is learning from his mistakes.

The relationship development is stellar. Nate and Tuck’s past isn’t an excuse for their growth. They don’t immediately trust each other and are thrown together through some proximity only to realize a second chance at their friendship might be worth it. The hurt/comfort is prevalent. Nate’s hopeful, patient attitude towards Tucker’s grumpy, dejected one. Tucker is pessimistic about Nate’s optimistic attitude. The backstory, more details on their past, and growing feelings for each other again were missing in Cal and Eli's book. Nate and Tucker may have always had feelings for each other, but we, as the readers, don’t know them all, and the author does show this.

Both characters felt genuine and authentic, the most original from Parker’s previous stories. They feel so real and, luckily, not a carbon copy-and-paste version of Cal, Eli, Lane, and Denver. The best thing about this is that there is no third-act conflict, even with slight miscommunication. However, we never read any moments that make us tell ourselves, “Can you just talk to avoid drama in the end?” Instead, we see how Nate realizes fighting for Tucker is worth it and something he doesn’t want to give up on. And the best thing is that he doesn’t give up. He sets his mind to a decision and sticks to it. Once he’s told this and shown how much Tucker is worth it, Nate is set on fighting for the man he has always loved. We love a grown man who knows what he wants and doesn’t give up on it.

“Listen to me,” he hissed, slamming him back when Tucker's shoulders flexed as if to throw him. “We aren’t kids anymore. I’m not the boy down the road who wants to follow you around like a puppy. I’ve dated dozens of men, you know that? But not a single one of them made me feel a fraction of what I feel when I look at you. I know who you are. I know what you are. So just shut up and let me love you, goddammit.”

The “I will fight for you.”
The “You deserve better than me / Let me be the judge of that.”
The “I’m not giving up on you even if you are.”
The “I lost you once, I won’t lose you again.”
The “Everyone gave up on you, but I won’t.”
The “I see you.”
The “I came back for you.”
The “I’m not leaving if it means spending my life with you again.”
The “You can push me all you want, and I’m still coming back.”

The dynamics between the two are one of my favorites. The concept of the character who doesn’t think they’re worth it and doesn’t know what being loved is versus the character who is willing to shower them with praise and love. I loved their push and pull. I loved seeing how Nate would not give up on Tucker despite Tucker begging him to. I loved their slow friendship, their regrets, their newfound trust. Because of their past, many natural things come to them, such as body language and reading facial expressions.

The writing continues to be beautiful. I think some people will grow annoyed with this author’s style, but I didn’t have any issues with it. The metaphors and comparisons between Tucker and the horses can become annoying and frustrating just because it’s something we’re constantly reminded about and already understand. Still, I didn’t have a big issue with it. The author’s writing felt smooth and polished, never over the top, and descriptive enough to show the imagery. As far as I could tell, there’s plenty of showing and telling. The author doesn’t miss crucial details to explain her characters, what is happening, and the location/environment. Parker’s writing may not work for you if you don’t like symbolic and descriptive writing. I don’t pay that much attention to writing styles (more like just details), so I never had any problems with this. The descriptions of Sweetwater are fictional but feel authentic and expressive, with enough detail given to the graphics to paint a picture. I also appreciated how the author wrote Tucker’s TBI, never using it to define him but also making him a part of his life.

I’d also like to comment on the author’s portrayal of Tucker’s seizures. While there are different types of seizure disorders, it’s clear that Tucker suffers from grand mal seizures, which were caused by a brain injury, which is common and accurate. I also have seizures (not grand mal), so it honestly makes me happy when I see a character having a seizure disorder as well. It’s not common, and many people don’t believe them. The portrayal of Tucker having a seizure felt authentic, even showing the after-effects as realistic. I was glad the author didn’t paint a nasty picture of it, as I, too, am humiliated and embarrassed when I come out of my seizures. People tell me I shouldn’t feel this way, but it’s difficult because it is humiliating to come out of moments of convulsion only to see people looking down at you not just in concern but also pity and embarrassment and confusion. Tucker’s TBI wasn’t glossed over and instead a big part of Tucker’s character, something that affected his character and life. He was aware of his triggers, talked about what he had done, and expressed his personal feelings against them.

“Forget sex. Forget relationships. What you need is a friend. Not an acquaintance, or a rival, or a coworker, and definitely not an ex-girlfriend. Haven’t you got someone who’s a good friend and nothing else?”
Tucker met his eyes. One blue, one green. Light and dark, like mirror reflections of his soul. Like magic. “I did once,” he said softly.
Nate smiled and gave his thigh a friendly squeeze. “You do again.”

However, while I loved these two, I did have some issues that could have affected my enjoyment significantly had I not grown a fond love for them. First, I do believe this has some GFY undertones. What I first thought was internalized homophobia turned into a confirmation after Tucker’s constant belief that he can’t “be gay” for Nate or that he doesn’t love men “that way,” but Nate is an exception. Tucker confirms he doesn’t care what he is or what label fits him, and while I’m all for that, I also think confirmation is necessary. I do wish we got some confirmation on Tucker’s sexuality and not something he thinks he chose.

“I guess you can be gay for me after all,” he teased breathlessly once they finally parted.
Brushing the back of one knuckle across Nate’s cheekbone, Tucker said with wonder, “Only for you.”

Sir…have you ever heard of bisexuality?

The thing is, Tucker possibly being bisexual is mentioned, but Tucker shrugs it off like it’s not necessary to confirm this or “to be something.” He just loves Nate, knows this, and doesn’t care what or who he is.

Another issue I had was the one-time POV change to Tucker towards the end. I’m not a fan of unbalanced points of view, and I don’t like it when an author adds (1) singular change. It’s just teasing and feels unnecessary, forced even. Why didn’t you just make it all dual POV?

And lastly, my final issue is how I wish we got some character development on Tucker’s end. I loved him, but I do think he lacked some development. I understand his past and trust issues, but I wish we got confirmation of his relationship with Cal. Cal was ready to move on and put their past behind them, but Tucker didn’t feel he would own up to his mistakes, which is unfortunate because it’s a big part of character development. Tucker’s misery also felt similar to Cal’s, but Tucker never tried doing anything about it.

Overall, this is my favorite of the series, and having read the fourth book by now, it’s gonna stay that way for the time being. I can’t tell if more characters will get their story, but I hope Briar, Nate’s vet assistant, gets his own story. I’m glad I didn’t give up on this series after suffering through book one and not finding much improvement in book two. I had heard the series improved, and I can’t exactly agree on that since I didn’t enjoy book two much better than book one, but I will say that this was worth getting to.

[Florence . · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 “It would be easier to stop my heart from beating than to keep from loving you." stars

“It’s like I was born with the shape of him imprinted on my heart. He’s there, deep inside me, no matter where I go. Every decision I make has his touch on it. I don’t think that’s ever going to change.”

Have you ever read a book that hit you like a freight train and you didn’t know what to do but stand here and enjoy it? Because that's what this book did to me.

I love this series so I knew i’d like this book, but this book topped all of my expectations. I’ve been into a reading slump for the last four months and while i’ve enjoyed books, I haven’t really gotten lost in them or devoured them like I used to. I’ve been taking breaks after every chapter and getting really distracted while reading. But this book was the outlier. I started it telling myself I would only read the first chapters and without realizing I had read half the book, this hasn’t happened to me in so many months that I had forgotten how it felt to love a book this much. I kept thinking about this book until I could pick it up again and thats a feeling I hadn’t experienced in so long I was happy to see it come back for me.

Also, I’m pretty sure i’m going to have to drink water every hour for the next week to replenish my body after all the tears I shed while reading this book. I started crying on page 4 and it never really stopped until I finished the book.

Brief Summary
Nate is back in his hometown of Sweetwater (he had left for the city ages ago) because he took over the family’s veterinary clinic. When he was young, he was best friends with Tucker. But their friendship stopped when they were 14 and Nate got hard when they were cuddling. After than they pretty much became enemies. Now it’s been years, and Nate and Tucker are still on bad terms and enemies. But they slowly rekindle their friendship and realize that they both always wanted to be with each other so they do exactly that and finally allow themselves to fall in love with each other.

“Sometimes the creatures most in need of love are the ones who make it the hardest. But all they need to become something worth loving is for someone to keep trying.”

First things first, I would like to welcome Tucker Grace and his one blue eye and one green eye to my top 5 favourite book characters of all time list. What a man he is. I fell in love with him so much, he was such a vivid characters that was so well built and had so many dimensions and the entire book I just wanted to give him a hug. Tucker suffered from a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and he had a bad family life, so he thought that he was broken and that he was only a shell of himself, so because of that it was hard for him to accept that he is worthy of love. Tucker really didn’t like himself and thought he wasn’t worth much. Tucker has always been alone and all he has ever wanted was Nate, because he was the only one who ever made things better for Tucker. And Tucker tried so hard to control his temper and show that he could do better. I just wanted to hug him so much, his suffering made my heart ache. I loved seeing his journey from that to him finally realizing that he is worthy and that Nate loves him no matter what. Tucker showed an hard and mean front but deep down he was a sweetheart with only one wish and it was to belong somewhere and to be loved.

Also, it absolutely shatered my heart how Tucker wanted Nate more than than anything but he didn’t think he was good enough for Nate so he denied himself the pleasure of being with Nate.

Also I loved Nate too, he was such a good character and the perfect support system for Tucker.

Special mention to Traveler the horse, who was the exact same person as Tucker but in horse form, he was the best. I absolutely loved Tucker and his love of horses and how they made him feel better. He relied on his horses so much and it was so sweet to see.

Second, the way Tucker’s TBI was portrayed felt so realistic to me. I loved the way the rep was done. I loved how it affected his daily life and he had to recognize the triggers of it so he could make sure it didn’t bother him too much, as he would get seizures if he didn’t do that. I loved how the book showed that it affected everything he did in one way or another, expecially because he had a memory lost because of it and it affected his emotions a lot, making him have a lot of emotional outburts.

Third, these two had been friends for years and then stopped being friends when they were fourteen and became kind of enemies. So I loved how they talked about what happened and how they got there so that they could work on it and fix it. Plus it happened quite early into the book so that really worked for me. I loved how they talked about the previous hurt and apologized for their old mistakes so that they could start over their friendship (and eventually relationship) with a clean slate.

Also special mention to the intense amount of pining these two did. There was so much pining for each other in this book and I loved it so much.

Also, I loved how we got to see a couple of flashbacks to when they were kids. It was absolutely lovely to see how they were together when they were younger. I loved how the book made a lot of links to their previous friendship to their current relationship, it was so lovely to me.

Fourth, I really loved the relationship progression in this book. I loved how Nate was bitter against Tucker, but it always felt forced, like he had to hate him out of principle and didn’t really want to. It felt more like old childhood resentment than actual hatred. I loved how Tucker never was mean towards Nate, he wasn’t really nice to anyone else but he never dared disrespect Nate, instead he worked on showing Nate that he was better than what Nate thought of him and it was kind of very sweet. After how misguided Tucker had been as a kid, I loved how it was Tucker who extanded a hand to try to fix their relationship. I loved how Nate got to know the new version of Tucker more and realized that he isn’t that bad after all. I loved how they started a very tentative friendship and then realized that they are better as boyfriends than as friends. I loved how it was easy to tell that they both had loved each other since they were teens and that all the events that happened in the book were just an extansion of that love and how it made them do bad things to each other because they didn’t know how to deal with the love they felt.

“He wanted you, Nate Silva. Every second of every day. If there was ever a time when he wasn’t in love with you, I don’t think he remembers it. Maybe Tuck’s bi or maybe he’s not, but it doesn’t really matter because he’s never wanted anyone but you. I don’t think he ever will. He’s not built like that.”

Also Tucker and Nate were just so good together. They were perfectly suited for each other. I just loved how they always took care of each other and made sure that the other was fine.

Special mention to the sex scenes that were so emotional they made me cry. Not only were they hot, they also had so much emotional value and really helped driving the book along. They were the perfect compliment to the relationship.

Fifth, I loved the entire vibe of the town. I love how everyone was super nice and how they never took over the story. They were just very nice and well rounded side characters and they all served a purspose in the plot, which I really enjoyed. And I loved Nate’s mom, she was such a precious sweetheart.

Sixth, sure these guys were not the best at communication but it really worked for me in this book. They both had a reason that justified it that made sense to me. It never bothered me that they weren’t the best at talking to each other. I liked how even when they didn’t know what to say, they didn’t really push the other away or were crual to each other. I liked how they gravitated towards each other even when the communication failed them, it really worked for me.

If you ever talk books with me in the next few months, don’t be surprised when all I can talk about is this book.

I received an ARC of this book, and this is my honest review.

[Rosabel · Rating 4 out of 5]

"one blue and one green". This appears in the first page of the first chapter of this book, and my PTSD went wild, I got flashbacks and everything, but no, this one blue one green was good.

On to the book, I had forgotten who Tucker was, he appears as an antagonistic character in the first book and I'm not sure about the second one, but I remembered him quickly. And I felt for him so fast it was embarrassing, he obviously had reasons apart of being hot, for his stuff.

I didn't enjoy Nate as much in the beginning, he was really aggressive towards Tuck and judgemental so I wasn't happy with him, he came around really quickly that's why I forgave him, but I almost didn't.

The trope about Tucker's head injury broke my heart, I don't know how medically accurate it was, but I felt for him, I did want it to be more of a daily issue, it was kind of mentioned (his inability to focus, his need to remember himself with notes to do daily tasks) but besides the rage, the other aspects of his disability didn't really appeared, they were just mentioned.

But, I loved this, I loved the pacing and the development and I loved the characters.

Lovely series this turned out. 🥰🥰

[Rain · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story was quite melodramatic, and if I had to hear ONE MORE TIME that the horse, Traveler, was just like Tucker I was going to lose it.

Nate was quiet and dark; Tucker was aggressive and bright as the summer sun. Nate’s house had video games and air-conditioning; Tucker’s trailer had dogs and a treehouse.

Very much GFY
Hands free
No prep
No discussion about sexual health
Cowboy and veterinarian
Traumatic brain injury
HEA

Are you really telling me that Tucker and Nate have been in love with each other since they were teens? What was the reason they stopped talking at 14 again? Hmmm.

Ten years later, Tucker is still straight and dating women, while Nate is trying to break world records with the amount of one-and-done he accomplished in the big city.

Tucker carried most of this story on his shoulders, which made Nate’s single POV, a shame. I just wish he (and the author) had come to terms with Tucker being a gay man, or at least bi. Repeatedly saying he “was not gay” felt offensive.

“I can’t do this, Nate,” he whispered hoarsely. “I can’t be gay for you.”

Let’s be honest. If Nate had really loved Tucker, he would not have abandoned him in high school. Tucker had nobody, and Nate didn’t even try to get to the bottom of Tucker’s issues.

It had to be him. He was the one Nate had waited for his whole life.

I guess this is “metaphorically waiting” since Nate was a self proclaimed manwhore before coming back home.

I understand why so many reviewers adored this hard earned, second chance love story. Between my feelings of meh for Nate, not really believing they loved each other since their teens, and the GFY plot, it wasn’t a good fit for me.

*Sad that Traveler was pride cut, that’s tough on a grown stallion.

[moonlight ☾ [semi-hiatus] · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars ☆

"I don't deserve you, Nate. I never did."
Nate's heartbeat was loud and fast, ripping through his chest like a snare drum as he clasped Tucker's face in both hands. "You know what I've learned over the years?" he asked, yanking his head down until their lips almost touched. "Sometimes the creatures most in need of love are the ones who make it the hardest. But all they need to become something worth loving is for someone to keep trying."

Nate and Tucker had my heart (best friends who are the complete opposite of one another is one of my kryptonites 😩)!! this was my first introduction to the author's works and i loved their writing style; from the way the characters were described to the setting to the imagery to the events. i was immediately sucked into the world even before Nate and Tucker's first interaction after a decade of being apart.

childhood best friends to lovers is one of my favorite tropes (especially when written well bc this trope can have its misses when the friendship isn't believable enough or there can be times when all i feel is platonic between them, causing the romance to feel forced), but it also hits different when it's childhood best friends who grew apart bc of reasons to enemies to strangers to friends to lovers and this delivered all the right feels for me. i loved the tension between them upon their reunion BUT we also see moments of them rekindling their friendship, reminiscing about past memories and actually communicating what went wrong all those years ago. i loved those moments just as much bc it's the development taking place throughout the book that i love reading in a situation of best friends drifting apart and rekindling years later. a part of me wished we had actual scenes of their friendship in the past, but i'm not mad at them just talking about their memories bc it was enough for me to picture how strong their bond had been. however, it's simply just me being greedy for more bc they were so precious and i would have loved to see it play out in flashback scenes.

i also loved how, once they finally got together, they were so cute and the way i could literally imagine their relationship playing out like this if they had been high school sweethearts bc how they were as friends and as lovers felt so natural. it's exactly what i wanna see and feel in a best friends to lovers romance. the side characters were also pretty great here and i loved the interactions they had with both Nate and Tucker. 🥹

also!! the moment Tucker revealed it was always Nate for him? how he joined the football team for him? how he thought it was something they could share and a way to rekindle their friendship?? i was sobbing by that point. 😭

[Preeti · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 🌟 "They’d been made to complete each other".
For someone who has never ridden a horse in her 28 years of existence, I am too obsessed with anything even closely related to horses. Western or horsey movies, equestrian sports, History of Old west, and sure books with ranch/cowboy settings. So, even though I am among 1% of my GR friends, you can't blame me for thinking of Down Low as one of the best MM books of 2020.  
Then came the Down and Dirty and I was expecting something new and was highly disappointed. So, I kept avoiding reading this one until I saw @Marci's review. And, I would not say that Nate and Tucker's story gives us something that we have not already read by Miss Parker. 

Exhibits 1,2,3,4 and so on

"His obsession with Tucker Grace had always been unhealthy"

“I wish I could be different. But you deserve more than a lifetime of picking up another man’s broken pieces. Who treats you right. That’s not me.”...

"Sometimes the creatures most in need of love are the ones who make it the hardest. But all they need to become something worth loving is for someone to keep trying.”...

"It’s like I was born with the shape of him imprinted on my heart. He’s there, deep inside me, no matter where I go. Every decision I make has his touch on it. I don’t think that’s ever going to change.”

Yes, the childhood friends turned strangers turned enemies turned friends to lover story is not unique to the author but I adored the redemption arc. And, normally I hate MCs who play hot and cold or give mixed signals. But, this one was different. I never felt pity for Nate for loving Tucker. I firmly believed that just like Traveler(the horse), Tucker needed time to heal.

And, I know a lot of people hated Tucker for his prickly, stubborn behavior. But, I was too caught by Nate's belief in him. I wanted him to hope and redeem himself. I wanted him to accept Nate for himself. And, here came the difference. The relationship development was better than both the previous books. It was soft and sweet and believable. 

"I could spend the rest of my life on the opposite side of the world, and I’d still be yours. You own every beat of my heart, Tucker Grace. You always have.”

I know my thoughts are jumbled and I don't know why 4.5 🌟 and not 5 🌟. But, actually, I don't know. I love Nate and Tucker more than other couples. I love Tucker's struggle and his fight for survival and I love Nate for believing in him.

"I’ve always wanted you,” he admitted raggedly. “I was greedy for you before I knew what it meant. Your time, your attention, your smile…I wanted it all. I thought it must be jealousy. That was the only context I had for the hungry, hollow feeling that squeezed my heart whenever you walked by.”

P.S- I am so pumped for Whit and West in the next book.

[Simone - on indefinite hiatus - · Rating 3 out of 5]

***3.5 Stars***

First there was... friendship?
Then there was... nothing?
After that there was... animosity... hate even?
Suddenly there was... undying "it was always you" love?

And here I am not getting the reason for any of them *sigh*

I totally adore this series and the writing was once again beautiful, but this time it didn't grab me like the others, even if Tucker pulled at my heartstrings. Nate was an a**hole, though, maybe that evened things out. *shrugs*

BUT... what was exceptionally well done was the horse training part, and kudos to the author for not turning it into another Black Beauty tale when the sh*t hit the fan.

[Marci · Rating 5 out of 5]

so i have a new favorite in the series! ❤️ what a beautiful story. a stunning second chance romance full of redemption, hope and heat. 🔥

tucker and nate are without a doubt my favorite couple from the series so far. their story made me so emotional! tucker spends his days trying to train a horse named traveler who’s been through hell and back and can’t trust. he gets easily spooked and nobody knows when traveler is going to have a breakthrough. trucker and traveler are one in the same. i loved seeing both man and horse transform throughout the story. they were mirrors for each other through and through and they fought so hard for their happy ending.

i am so in love with their love. nate and tucker both went to battle to get it and that made it even more rewarding to see them content at the end. it was like releasing a breath i didn’t know i was holding and then wanting to go through the stress and the pain all over again because the moment i finished the book - i already missed these characters. ❤️

[Layla · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
I received an ARC from GRR and this is my honest review.

Ignore my 3 star review among all the 5 stars, but I felt like it didn't really grab my attention like book one.

Let me start with the good parts:
- The writing was beautiful as it is always with this author. There were some GREAT quotes that I highlighted such as:

"It would be easier to stop my heart from beating than to keep from loving you."

"It's like the shape of him is imprinted on my heart. He's there, deep inside me, no matter where I go. Every decision I make has his touch on it. I don't think that's ever going to change."

-There were alot of parts that tugged on my heart strings. Everything about Tucker in fact. His TBI and the aftermath of it, his self-worth issues and how he tried to protect Nate with every breathe he took. I actually LOVED Tucker. He was real and raw and vulnerable and loyal. he went through SO MUCH and still he stood tall.

- When Tucker and Nate got together, Tucker's softness just shone through and that was one of my favorite parts of the book. For me, Tucker carried the whole book, even though Nate was the narrator of the book. His journey, his personality, his situation... everything good about the book was related to him. He had SO MANY layers, so much worth. I adored him

- The steam and the UST were great!

-The HEA was so sweet as well.

Honorable mentions: When Tucker calls Nate "sweetheart" or "Nathanial"... #Swoon
The Eli and Cal cameos made my heart HAPPYYYYYY!

What I didn't like:
- There was absolutely no talk about sexual safety. No talk of tests or protection. The author does mention that it had been years for Tucker, but for Nate it was months and before that he was sexually active.

- The pacing was a bit off. In the beginning weeks would go by with nothing really happening. Their intimacy was kind of surprising after all those weeks. In addition, their past and present relationship was kind of disconnected. We don't really experience their friendship before, nor do we really experience their love in the present.

- The fact that Tucker was still "not gay" even in the very end of the book. After everything they had went through, and every kiss and love scene, he was still "not gay". A fact that Nate said and Tucker didn't dispute....while they were actually making love. That and he fact that his sexuality wasn't really addressed. He's not gay, he's not bi? What is he? Demi? See I know that sometimes a author would choose not to put a label on an MC, but it is still addressed indirectly and the MC also sows acceptance for himself. I didn't feel like that was done here.

- Nate... I just didn't really like his character. I didn't believe his devotion to Tucker or his undying love except in the very end, when he came back for Tucker in the fire.

All in all, I do recommend this series as a whole. It's fun ad sexy and has, for the most part, great characters.

[juli✨ · Rating 3 out of 5]

𝟯.𝟱 ✩
𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴 ~ 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘃𝗲

❝Traveler. His name is Traveler.❞
Nate turned it over in his mind. ❝Suits him. He’s got a long way to go.❞

ᴘʟᴏᴛ … ✎

✎ Nate Silva (H) is back in his home town after years away. But being back also means running into his former childhood friend, Tucker Grace (H). Nate has always held a torch for Tucker but Tucker's destructive and violent streak ended their friendship years ago. Now they're back in each others lives and both men must confront their long hidden feelings.


ɴᴀᴛᴇ … 🅾🅺

🅾🅺 As our hero / resident narrator, Nate was … fine. He was fine. Like - I didn't despise him, but I also wasn't as enamored with him as the previous heroes in this series. He was no Denver or Lane, that's for sure.

❝I’m sorry,❞ Nate said in a hushed whisper. ❝I’m sorry I gave up on you.❞

🅾🅺 Tbh, when I wasn't completely apathetic towards Nate he sorta frustrated me. I just … *sigh* I never really got his whole devotion to Tucker Grace. Or more like, I never got a good grasp on Nate's character as a whole. I couldn't really pin down his personality, and what little I did get was just … bland.


ᴛᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ ɢʀᴀᴄᴇ … ♥

♥ Tucker, my man, how does your back feel carrying this entire book? For real, all three of those stars are for my mans Tucker Grace. He was literally an angry honey badger in human form. Also PLEASE someone get this man a hug, asap.

♥ Tucker was such a nuanced and layered character. On the surface, he seems like a jerk who has anger management issues. Look a little deeper and you realize that all his life Tucker has been silently begging for someone to love him.

❝I’ve gone my whole life without love, Nate. The emptiness that leaves behind never goes away. You understand? I don’t think I’ll ever wake up and not feel lacking, even with you right beside me. Are you ready for a lifetime of that?❞
❝It’s all I’ve ever wanted,❞ Nate replied earnestly, clutching at Tucker’s wrists, grounding himself with the solid warmth of his body.

♥ I also really liked the way his TBI was handled. It explained a lot about his personality while also not fully excusing him for the pain he caused others.

✖ i will say my one con when it comes to Tucker was his sexuality. honestly, i was very confused. i kinda wanted there to be a further exploration into the idea that he considered himself FULLY straight but was still head over heels for Nate. it was interesting plot point that was dropped almost the minute it was introduced. idk … gfy without an explanation always leaves me feeling some type of way.

ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ … 🅾🅺

🅾🅺 Huh … I was honestly not expecting to leave ❛Down and Out❜ feeling meh about TuckerNate. But alas, that's the boat I find myself in. Seriously you guys have no idea how bummed I am, *sigh*

🅾🅺 I think where TuckerNate lost me was in their former-friends-to-lovers journey. I kept being told how close Nate and Tucker were in their youth, but … Was I shown that? No, not really. There was a huge disconnect for me that wasn't there with the other couples. I actually thought it was funny that DenverLane managed to convey this ten year longing in less pages than NateTucker had.

🅾🅺 However, it wasn't all bad. There were super sweet moments sprinkled throughout ❛DAO.❜ I loved watching Nate slowly come to realize how badly he misjudged Tucker. I was also pleasantly surprised that Tucker was the one to tentatively extend the olive branch to Nate. Oh and every time Tucker called Nate "Nathaniel" or "Sweetheart" I died just a bit.

❝I could spend the rest of my life on the opposite side of the world, and I’d still be yours. You own every beat of my heart, Tucker Grace. You always have.❞

ᴛʀᴀᴠᴇʟᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏʀꜱᴇ … ✘

✘ I … look. Usually I LOVE animals in romance novels. When written correctly they truly add to, and enrich, the story. Plus, I absolutely adore dogs and cats and as I always say, I've never rated a book with a dog under three stars.

❝We don’t give up on him. We show him there’s another way. All it takes is one spark to light the fire he needs to learn, and I’m not going to quit until I find it.❞

✘ THAT SAID, oh. my. GOD. I could not with all of the gosh darn horse metaphors. We get it. Traveler is Tucker but in horse form. They are the same. WE. GET. IT. If Nate compared Tucker to Traveler one more damn time I was gonna loose it. It got to the point where St. John was bashing me over the head with all the damn metaphors.


ʟᴇꜰᴛ•ꜰɪᴇʟᴅ ᴅʀᴀᴍᴀ … ✘

✘ I … What in the name was that shit at the end? Lmao, like … I sure as hell was not expecting that and it one hundred percent came out of nowhere.

✘ The whole Tucker literally running into a whole ass barn fire and then saying goodbye world was too much. It was OTT and did not match up with the overall tone of the series. Deadass, I laughed. Especially the amount of time he was in the fire. Like - what was my mans doing in there??


ʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴏꜰ ᴛᴜᴄᴋᴇʀ ᴘᴏᴠ … ✘

✘ I think this book would have worked A LOT better for me if I had gotten Tucker's point of view. There was a bit of disconnect in that Tucker kept going on and on about what a terrible person he was, and I was out here like … but where?

✘ He kept going on and on about how dark and twisty he was on the inside, which … SHOW ME. Give me his pov and let me see that. Sadly we were stuck with Nate for all but one of the chapters. Boo.


ꜰɪɴᴀʟ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛꜱ … 🅾🅺

🅾🅺 Overall, ❛Down and Out❜ was a bit of a disappointment but I think that's mostly my fault. I previously read Down and Dirty and absolutely LOVED it. I was blown away by it and I think I went into NateTucker's story with those expectations.

🅾🅺 Another thing that felt off to me was the relationship between NateTucker. I didn't feel much of a connection to them or from them. I think having a few flashback scenes would have greatly helped. But I will say, once they got together they were very sweet.

🅾🅺 That said, I think a lot of people are gonna like this one. There's a lot to love but unfortunately for me not everything landed. So yeah, I recommend this book and series. It's a whole ass time.


┍━━━━━━━━━━━━━┑
𝗗𝗢𝗪𝗡 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦

#𝟭 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗟𝗼𝘄 – 𝗿𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀
#𝟮 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗗𝗶𝗿𝘁𝘆 – 𝟱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀
#𝟯 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗢𝘂𝘁 – 𝟯.𝟱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀
┕━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

[Papie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Second chance romance
Best friends to enemies to lovers
GFY
Cowboy and vet
Grumpy jerk
Horses
Hot sex

I liked this, but I didn’t love it. I can’t pinpoint one thing, it was a lot of little things that bugged me. It dragged a little here and there, but not too much. The fighting with Cal was exhausting. And the explanation to their feud wasn’t satisfactory. Also I really liked Briar, and I am curious about his story. I was really enjoying his presence in the beginning, but then it seems the author forgot about him and he just disappeared?

But most of all, I didn’t really buy that Tucker and Nate had loved each other all their lives. They stopped being friends at 14. All throughout high school, they were basically acquaintances. Then Nate left. And I’m supposed to believe that they spent all those years pining for each other? When Tucker was “straight” and dating women?

[Cadiva · Rating 5 out of 5]

⁹This series just keeps improving with each book

There are few things I love better than a hard-fought for second chance.

Here it's not exactly a true second chance as such, because Nate and Tucker weren't ever really together.

But what you do get instead is absolutely something which has been earned through every harsh word, every missing moment they were apart, every feeling of loss.

It's seriously slow burn, rightfully so, but that doesn't mean it's lacking in feels because they are overflowing from the off.

I loved Tucker, even as he was a hard man to like, but the more the narrative unfolds, the more the tragedy and overwhelming sadness unfolds as you come to realise his path could have been different if just one person had properly looked at him.

Nate is, on the surface, an easier man to fall for, but he's also been cruel at times, had his moments of blindness. Together though, they really do form a perfect whole.

Now I'm intrigued by the events which occurred towards the end of this book and eagerly waiting to find out what's going on with Whit and West.

[Princess under cover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeous book. My fave kind of MM romance. Real, manly men. Smooth writing. GOOD writing. Definitely checking out more by this author!

[NicoleR.M.M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

4,5 stars. Gathering my thoughts, full rtc.

"Listen to me, "he hissed, slamming him back when Tucker's shoulders flexed as if to throw him. "We aren't kids anymore. I'm not the boy down the road who wants to follow you around like a puppy. I've dated dozens of men, you know that? But not a single one of them made me feel a fraction of what I feel when I look at you. I know who you are. I know what you are. So just shut up and let me love you, goddammit."

I love this quote. It is the perfect example of how hard Nate had to work to gain Tucker's trust, the way Tucker kept pushing him away because he thought he was unworthy of the love Nate wanted, no, NEEDED, to give him.

They once were best friends. Living down the same dirt road, they befriended each other at a young age and they grew very close. From the moment Nate realized he was gay, he also knew he was in love with Tucker, his straight best friend. Then something happened, they grew apart. Eventually even avoided each other. Tucker - coming from a bad childhood with an absent father and a mother who took in boyfriend after boyfriend and forgot to take care of her only child in the mean time - grew into an angry, violent teenager (if you read the first book in this series, you might remember him as the one who beat Cal up, seemingly for being gay), one who Nate didn't recognize anymore as his former best friend. Nate left town, went to live in the city, but then had to return to the small town to take care of his family after his mother had a stroke.
When he learns that Tucker still lives down the road - though not in the trailer he had lived in with his mother, but in a new built cabin - Nate knows he can't stay away from him even if his life depended on it. And even when Tucker doesn't exactly welcome him with open arms, Nate knows from the moment they meet again, he won't ever be able to forget the boy who grew into a gorgeous man. But Tucker doesn't want to be loved and he makes that very clear.

I just love this series. I love how Parker wrote Tucker's beautiful redemption story, because he was the one who beat up Cal, a man I came to love dearly from the moment I met him. But reading Tucker's story, I couldn't help but feel for him. My heart broke for the lonely boy he once was, for the fact he had nobody to love him and to take care of him. Nobody to tell him he was just as valuable as everyone else. Accept for Nate. Nate, who never stopped loving him. Nate, who does everything he can to make Tucker believe he is worthy. To show him to have faith in himself and in them as friends, and possible lovers.
I loved Nate and his patience. His determination to not let go of Tucker, to accept his pushing.
They were just so good together!

The story of Traveler, mirroring Tucker's emotional turmoil, was beautifully used as secondary story to Tucker's and Nate's love story.

"Sometimes the creatures most in need of love are the ones who make it the hardest. But all they need to become something worth loving is for someone to keep trying."

I'd say this book can be read a standalone, but it is so much better enjoyed when you do read the first two books in this series. Just do yourself the favor! If you love small town life, second chances and gorgeous bull riders and cowboys, this series is a must read. The writing is superb, it gives you ALL the feelings, and I'm sure you'll come to love Cal & Eli, Lane & Denver and Tucker & Nate as much as I do.

Highly recommended!!

I kindly received an ARC from the author and this is my honest, unbiased review

[Mirian · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s the books you have the least hope for that often surpass your expectations.

[Claudie ☾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

I’m a little tempted to round it up, because this was just so lovely and heart-meltingly romantic, and there was such a beautiful human-and-horse bond here that it just about brought tears to my eyes!

Tucker started out as a bully and an asshole — I admit I didn’t remember him from book 1, until Cal helpfully popped up and provided an explanation — but his behavior was somewhat erratic, and considering his past friendship with Nate, I knew there was more to him than met the eye… I was right, and the explanation broke my little heart. 💔

Nate was a bit too judgmental and confrontational in the beginning imo, but he came around nicely when it was really important, so I warmed up to him quickly. These two worked so well together, I think even better than the previous two couples! Such explosive chemistry, such powerful emotions!

There’s a spot (or two) or nail-biting action here, which I really liked! And for all horse lovers out there, there’s a wonderful storyline here about healing a mistreated mustang that you will absolutely love.

This was a very enjoyable read and definitely my favorite book in this series.

[Ariana (mostly offline) · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5 stars

Parker St John certainly knows how to write troubled characters. No change here, in the third instalment of the series.

LOVED:
.) this is ‘enemies to lovers’ with a strong emphasis on ‘enemies’ for most of the book.
.) strong second chances romance
.) VERY broken MC
.) the tension between Tucker and Nate is sky high which works brilliantly for the first half of the book.
.) how we gradually figure out what’s going on with Tucker.
.) the story surrounding Traveler. I loved watching how Tucker does his horse whispering.

LIKED, with some minor niggles:
I’m not sure whether I really liked either MC, but I liked them enough.
I think the author overplayed Tucker’s legendary ‘grumpiness’, particularly in the later stages of the book. Does he really have to “hiss and snarl” so much?
And Nate, supposedly the ‘nicer’ of the two, also shows some traits I didn’t find massively appealing like treating his one-night stands like muck after ‘the event’, for example OR: using sex as a means to rip Tucker out of an anger attack. I really wanted to shout - now is not a good time, Nate! (you idiot) .

WONDERING ABOUT: …
.) how quickly the men's relationship changed from one chapter to the next.
.) Tucker’s condition. I would have liked to see that treated in more detail. It would have helped to understand Tucker better. (tbh a little bit more of Tucker’s POV would not have hurt).
.) whether the big drama in the last 20% is really necessary. Did we actually ever find out who the culprit was?
.) whether Tucker’s apology to Cal is enough. I never got why Cal suddenly forgave Tucker, either

Saying all that – I was captivated, though more in the first half than the second. Mainly, I am not sure if the redemption of Tucker worked 100% for me.

[Jess Brady · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It would be easier to stop my heart from beating than to keep from loving you."

Nate is home for the first time in years and it seems time can't change everything but the cruel cowboy he left behind years ago is still as much a presence now as he was then. Nate walked away from Tucker all those years ago because of the path that Tuck was taking but now being back home it is as if the cowboy is everywhere. He always saw so much more in Tucker than he ever saw in himself, but you can't make someone believe they are worth it. As Nate learns more about the Tucker he sees now he realizes that maybe just because the cowboy didn't change on the surface doesn't mean he is the same person he left behind. All Nate knows for sure is that that the cruel cowboy with wary eyes will forever own his heart.

"Sometimes the creatures most in need of love are the ones who make it the hardest. But all they need to become something worth loving is for someone to keep trying."

Tucker knows he can never be more than the kid with the broken family but when Nate comes home after more than 10 years away, he starts to believe that maybe he could be. Nate has always been his person but can't let the bad in him overrun the good in Nate. Tucker can handle seeing Nate from afar, but he couldn't handle corrupting the one good thing in his life.

Parker St. John has obliterated my whole heart with every book in this series. Tucker & Nate's story wasn't any different because Tucker was so good even with his temper but on the surface, he was the destructive cowboy he would always be. Letting someone in to share your demons is brutal but somehow Parker wrote such a beautiful story of just that.

She could write a dozen stories in this world, and I would read them all. Blame it on the southern girl in me but an emotional cowboy will always shatter my reserve every single time. Book four in the Down Home series is sure to be filled with angst unlike we have seen so far because after losing the love of your life how do you move on...

[Rielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intense, angsty, and dramatic. Also cowboys.

Friends to lowers, long separation, repressed feelings, childhood trauma, and so much unsaid between these two men. There’s a whirlwind of feeling in this book just like the previous ones and it’s oppressive. A lot happened here and I was almost always on the edge of being overwhelmed.

This author writes so well. The characters are all so human and believable. I love the stories crafted for all the men and I’m continually impressed by the uniqueness of each book. That said, I didn’t like this story as much and it was as spicy as the others. I almost gave it 3 stars, but the last 20% or so saved it for me!

[Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Best friends to enemies to lovers is usually my bag. Sadly I just never connected with the relationship until the very end, and I really didn't like Nate all that much. There was a lot of tension between the two MCs, but I found Nate to be overly aggressive towards Tucker and Tucker's reticence to have a sexual or romantic relationship and that really bothered me.

I adored Tucker and his relationship with Traveler - the wild mustang he is trying to tame. I really wish we had more than a few pages of Tucker's POV here. He is broken by years of neglect when he was a child and a subsequent brain injury, but is overcoming that to carve out a nice life for himself. I enjoyed Tucker training Traveler and would have liked to see a bit more of Tucker with Whit and on the ranch.

There are cameos from Eli and Cal and there is an intriguing new character in Briar, Nate's assistant who moved with him, but while he was present at the start, he disappeared from the last half of the book. There were also some pacing issues until the story picked up in the last quarter of the book.

This is obviously my least favorite of the series, the 3 stars are all for Tucker and zero for Nate, but I'll be looking forward to the next one

[Dani · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think I liked Tucker's character the most in this whole series, and his horses of course.

Nate actually annoyed me a lot because he was so judgemental and thought he knew everything when he'd never really bothered to keep up with what was going on in his hometown or with his friends.

I did like that we got to see a lot of the history between Nate and Tucker - it was more like books one and two in content and depth of the relationship, which is definitely something that is lacking in books 4 and 5 (even though West has known Michael for years - Derek and Briar are obviously different as they only just met).

I actually got teary eyed at this one though, when the fire was in the stable.... the lengths that Tucker would go to to ensure the saftey of his horses and of the people he loves was heartbreaking. I'm so glad that his character got a HEA because he more than deserved it.

[Ninni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Still so good.

[Edga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

This series is an angst lovers dream, and every one of the three stories is beautifully captivating in its own right. They're designed to break you, but also heal you in such an epic romance loving way.

My heart ached for Tucker, I actually l felt that his issues were so great, that the romance took second place! Overall, I found it a riveting read that pulled at my emotions, and left me bewildered in parts.

Older Nick was perfect for Tucker, he was a warm and caring type who obviously loved him. However, I couldn't get my head round the way his younger self had reacted to his best friend's problems. I felt like he'd simply abandoned him. I got so involved in the story, I initially found it hard to forgive him for that.

Despite this, I enjoyed the couple's story, the ending was especially satisfying. It was nice to come across Cam and Eli once again, and meet the secondary characters, who I hope will eventually get their own stories. 4.5 stars.

[Liya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent redemption story
After reading the 1st book in the series I hated Tucker and the entire town of Sweetwater. After reading this book I fall in love with Tucker and though I still have doubts about Sweetwater it definitely grew on me.
The story is told from Nate's POV. However I could clearly see Tucker: his faults, the past that haunted him, challenges he faced every day, the anger. But also his strength, vulnerability, kindness, relationships with horses that saved him. Nate is the narrator but the story rests on Tucker's shoulders.
I loved how Nate slowly got to know the man Tucker had become, how he realized that not everything in the past was as simple as he used to think, that there was more to what happened to Tucker. How they slowly rebuilt their friendship and then became more. The connection and chemistry between Nate and Tucker was palpable and true. There is lots of angst and heartbreak but also love, trust and hope.
Niggles: while I loved the romance in the present, Nate and Tucker loving each other since childhood was a bit of a stretch. Their friendship ended too early, they were strangers in high school and then didn't see each other for years. A bigger emphasis on friendship with more scenes from their childhood would work better.
Tucker being a more fleshed out and multilayered character than Nate despite Nate being a narrator. I wish we got to learn more about parts of Nate's life that didn't revolve around Tucker.
Special mention: Cal/Eli cameos - still loving Cal to pieces and surprisingly warming up to Eli. Briar - Nate's assistant. Hopefully he'll get the book as well.

[Ana Nimity · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Parker St John since her first Cabrini Law book. I adore the first two books in the Down Home series. Just love them. Down and Out is right there with them.

It's almost insulting to try to reduce this gorgeous book to the tropes of second-chance, friends-to-enemies-to-lovers, hurt-comfort, slow-burn gay-for-you (demi?) cowboys. This love story is simple, but told beautifully, and I'm going to just sit and savor it for a while.

I didn't ugly-cry like I did with Down and Dirty, but it's plenty emotional, and I think Parker does justice to the effects of traumatic brain injury (TBI). My heart hurt for Tucker and for Traveler.

It's not necessary to read the first two books to enjoy this one, but you should read them, because they're so good you need to have them in your life.

[Mug · Rating 3 out of 5]

i enjoyed the story, (hello, gay cowboys, how could i not) but the transition to lovers didn’t work for me….i wasn’t really feeling the chemistry….i’m kinda confused about it bc i liked both tucker and nate…i thought their actions were understandable given their circumstances, their transition back to friends was lovely, but when it came time to take it to the next level, i suddenly felt like it wasn’t time and there was something key missing :/ more grumpy cowboys is a NEEEDDD tho😩

[⋆｡°✮ Lucy InTheSky ✮°｡⋆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here's a million dollar question : why the hell wasn't Tucker's POV included?

Seriously, at this point I simply don't get it. The bonus story of Tucker's POV when he was a teenager would've been amazing if written as a prologue - and start from there.

This story simply needed Tucker's input and that tiny little snippet at 86% wasn't doing the trick.

So even though I'm really disappointed, I'm rating this book with 4⭐, because Tucker is my favourite character in this series so far. He's a villain - not by choice, but as a result of a bunch of cruel circumstances that he's been thrown into since he was a little kid. Tucker's a strong, complex character that has amazing depth and I think the author did him a great disservice by not including his POV, I'll say it again and I'll say it a million times more - the story isn't as good as it could've been because of it.

🟣 Childhood friends-to-enemies-to-complete-strangers-to-maybe-friends-to-amazing-lovers
🟢 Former bully / his bestie
🟡 First love, unrequited (or so they both thought)
🔵 GFY - 'awakening' in highschool but bully MMC not being open to it, ending the friendship
🟣 Bully MMC deals with TBI - quite severe
🟠 Nate was quite the asshole, looking back to highschool, it took some time for me to like him, but he redeemed himself in the end
🟢 Bully MMC is a horse trainer, deals with a wild Mustang
🌶️ A lot of smut was (almost) FTB, sadly ; both vers

The story was emotional and there was an emphasis on the main relationship, which is always a good thing, but I wanted the MMCs to have just a little bit of that crazy hot messy sex, just for the old times sake. Don't get me wrong, the smut was good, but the author didn't go very far with it.



Tucker and Nate were best friends since they were little kids. They lived near each other, they were constantly together, one being the shadow of the other. Tucker and Nate were very attached, but here's the plot twist.

Tucker came from a very broken home, while Nate had the opposite, a quiet, peaceful home. Tucker lived with his single mother who couldn't care less about him. She lived in a dirty trailer with the constant turnaround of shady boyfriends, so Tucker was never really loved or cared for. He was very neglected and oftentimes slept in the treehouse and had nightmares, where Nate would hear him from his room and went to sleep with him in that little treehouse. Tucker consequently lashed out a lot because of the way he was treated, so he was a bully, bitter and mean, but never to Nate.

"Men like him didn’t get happy endings. He'd understood the truth since he was old enough to shave… or perhaps even earlier. Maybe he'd known it on some deep, instinctive level the first time he'd cried and tugged at his mother's sleeve as she lay passed out on the floor; the day he'd held a cereal box in his chubby hands and fumblingly poured it into a dirty bowl to feed himself dinner. The milk had been sour, though he hadn't known it at the time. He remembered thinking it tasted funny, and later, lying on the floor with a crippling stomach ache… just hoping his mother would come and cradle him in her soft, sweet- smelling lap. But she hadn’t."

When Nate and Tucker were teenagers, Nate fell in love with Tucker, he was already in love at 14 years old, but he didn't really know what it meant, so when the inevitable happened and Nate got hard holding Tucker - they kind of fell apart. Tucker with all his baggage and shitty life became confused and needed time to process everything, but what really bugged me here was that Nate just drifted away. Nate knew how Tucker lived and what he went through daily and Nate just gave up on him, he just let Tucker go.

So, here comes the saddest part, at least for me.
Tucker wanted to be close to Nate, but didn't know how to come back, so despite not loving sports, he went to play high school football with Nate and since he was a tall, skinny guy who didn't weigh much, he got hit a lot, got a bunch of concussions and eventually fell unconscious, getting a severe TBI that changed his life forever. But since noone cared enough for him, he didn't address his issues and those issues were getting worse and worse.

"He grew harder. Colder. Angry in ways Nate could never understand. He reminded Nate of a wounded badger, always attacking first before anyone could get close enough to do him harm. Most days, Nate couldn’t stand to face how low, cruel, and vicious he’d become… so he ignored him."

Tucker



Yeah, that's right - Nate ignored him. Noone cared and neither did Nate, because Tucker was just a bitter, vicious teenagers from the bottom of the barrel and it was best to stay away from him.
When Nate comes back to Sweetwater 10 years later, Nate starts looking back and realises that Tucker's behaviour actually has an explanation. But by that point Tucker is so rooted in his self loathing, that he's hard to reach. He doesn't let anyone close, much less Nate.

"Tucker, sullen and cranky, joining the football team their sophomore year. Nate’s football team. Even though Tucker had expressed no interest in sports and the phrase team player wasn’t in his vocabulary. Tucker, quick as lightning, always exactly where Nate needed him when he threw the ball. Tucker, long and lanky, taking hits from boys who outweighed him by fifty pounds. Tucker, on the ground, over and over again."

And

"No one noticed. No one cared. Not even Nate. He’d been so stung by Tucker’s rejection that he’d convinced himself he was little more than a product of his upbringing. Like a badger defending its den, unable to tell friend from foe. Low and mean and vicious. Nothing more."

So when you read all that about Tucker and then the way Nate is still acting towards him when he comes back to Sweetwater, you can't help but conclude that Nate is, in fact, an asshole. Some friend he was. And he claims he loved Tucker all that time - well, how is that love is beyond me. Even as an adult, Nate has a problem being very empathetic towards Tucker. He was slowly getting there though and he did redeem himself in the end, but sometimes it was very hard to read his part, so that's why it was crucial to include Tucker's side of the story to balance it out a little bit.

Tucker has a really hard time letting people close and facing himself and his emotions, but this time around Nate is right there with him, standing by his side, not willing to let go.

I don't know why Tucker was presented as a terrible guy, the community loved him and if you ask me, he's the best guy there is. Tucker pulled himself out of a complete hell all on his own, made a name for himself in the training business and is an outstanding person. I love him, he's amazing.

I did like Nate by the end of the story too, he proved himself worthy of Tucker in my eyes. He learned to be gentle and accepting and I was happy to see Nate's fiercely loved Tucker all his life too, he just tried really hard to forget about it. He tried to put Tucker out of his mind, but it didn't really work.

"It was strange, this new and wondrous turn to a relationship that had begun when they were children… but in a way, it was as natural as breathing. Of course, it would be Tucker Grace who finally managed to crack open his heart and spill out all its treasures. It had to be him. He was the one Nate had waited for his whole life."



The story has a good ending, has a sweet epilogue, but I was kind of missing a little bit about how their life together looked like. Nate did move in, but what else? It seems like we waited until the end for that final breakthrough and didn't get as much of Nate and Tucker doing everyday things, it was mentioned in a sentence or two, but it would be better if more was said. Other than that, it was satisfying.

That bonus story with Tucker's POV was really good and I'm actually surprised the author isn't including that in the main story. The writing was good, the story really interesting, so I think it's a big mistake we're not getting that, because we've got some amazing characters in this series and as I've said already, it's a disservice towards them not writing their POVs.

I liked this book, enjoyed reading it, not that satisfied with Nate, but he came through in the end

“I’m sorry,” Nate said in a hushed whisper. “I’m sorry I gave up on you.”

fine, he's forgiven. He professed his undying love and loyalty, so I guess we're even. But it was 🤏 this close and I'd obliterate that dickhead in this review, but he did end up making Tucker happy, so - it's fine.

I liked all the other side characters, as always, Briar as Nate's cute twink assistant didn't have such a prominent role here, but I liked him immediately, so I hope we're getting his story, hoping we're staying in Sweetwater for a while longer.

A few things weren't left resolved, the main topic was Nate and Tucker's relationship after all and I was fine with that. Wouldn't mind a bit more sex though.

[Lily Loves 📚 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This series continues to be a hit. While I enjoyed the first two books a little bit more this was a wonderful friend turned enemies turned friends turned lovers story! Nate and Tucker had a lot of history.

One of my favorite things about this book is the wild mustang Tucker is training. The bond between them and the similarities of their background was done so well.

These books can’t come out fast enough for me! This series should be read in order for the most enjoyment plus characters from previous books appear in each story. I loved seeing Cal and Eli again.

I think the one part I had any problem with was Tucker. I loved how his story unfolded but I never felt like I was fully satisfied with his inner thoughts and feelings for Nate. I didn’t really ever warm up to him and his POV throughout the book would have helped that.

The next book is the one I’ve been waiting for since book one! I’m not sure how many the author has planned but each book is definitely worth a read!

*ARC received in exchange for review*

[ML · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tucker is more than meets the eye.

When I found out Tucker was the next MC, I was super excited. He was such a villain in book 1. I knew his backstory would be harsh and angsty. It WAS!

I loved Tucker’s story. Nate was his BFF growing up and they fell out with one another. Nate moved away to the big city but comes back many years later.

Tucker and Nate’s paths cross again. Serious firework chemistry ensues! I mean WOW!

I loved their slow burn then to finally admitting their true feelings for one another. It’s a difficult journey but totally worth it!

Loved this book AND I’m super excited that the series continues! The next book is going to be epic!

[haletostilinski · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐︎4.25 Stars rounded down!⭐︎

Man do I love this series. It has just grown to have a special place in my heart.

Even for this one, which is technically my "least favorite" so far. Which, given that I gave 4.5 and 5 stars previously, 4.25 rounded down isn't much lower.

So for the most part, I loved this. I loved the chemistry between Nate and Tucker, I loved the angst that comes with this series, I loved their relationship for the most part, and this story sucked me in.

I guess, my reason for having it be my lowest rated so far is that there was something...missing that the others weren't.

I think, maybe, barely getting anything of Nate and Tucker's past is a big one for me. Not really getting to see anything of their past friendship, and just getting told a few details near the beginning, didn't really let me connect with who they were as kids to each other, and feel that longing and yearning these two both had for each other even as adults.

It was more that their connection as adults had to be what got me connected to them. I wish we had gotten more showing of them as friends, or even when they stopped being friends before Nate moved. It happened with the previous two books, so I wonder why the short flashbacks were basically not in this one.

It made connecting to these two as a couple harder than the the past two couples. Now, I still came to love these two, and the chemistry was there, so I eventually got there. But there was some time in this I wasn't really feeling it.

With Tucker AND Nate being pretty mean and nasty to each other on top of that, I was just wandering what they saw in each other.

I eventually started to feel that, as they both let their guards down and started being real with each other, and nicer to each other, and seeing them interact more with each other, I then started to get what they saw in each other, why they were drawn to each other. It just took some time for me, that it hadn't in the previous two.

And once we learn more about Tucker, and what he's been through, I really started to feel for him. As Nate was understanding him and why he had angry outbursts, so was I. I went on that journey with Nate.

Tucker really has had a shitty life, and on top of what causes him to sometimes not be able to control his anger well, it's no wonder he feels how he feels, like he doesn't deserve Nate.

But it shows how truly good he really is that he cares, that he feels he isn't good enough. A truly bad person wouldn't give a shit if he hurt Nate or not. Tucker cares so much that when he shoves Nate and Nate falls, the next morning he goes to Eli, the sheriff, to turn himself in. It takes Nate saying he didn't assault him for Tucker to give up on it. But he was sure determined to be arrested for a shove that resulted in Nate falling to the ground.

It was sad to see just how much Tucker cared, and how scared he was of himself, how much he hated himself. I really became to feel for him so much once we learned more of his past, and what made him like was, and how he truly felt about things, about their past, and so on.

Another reason for me to give this a little lower rating is that Nate, once he and Tucker finally get together in this story, starts to worry if Tucker will ever be ready to come out as someone who is with a guy to the town.

And that plot thread is never really addressed after that. Nate has that worry, and then the story goes on and things happen, and then it's just kinda forgotten. I wanted to know if Tucker ever became comfortable being out and open with Nate. I can assume he did because in the epilogue it's 2 years later and they're still together, but assuming isn't knowing. I would have liked to have known.

And we probably will find out in the next book, but I would have still have liked to have found out in this one. It was just introduced and then we end this without knowing how that worked out or not.

So the lack of connection from when they were kids and what I said above lend me to giving this a lower rating.

But overall, this was still very good and I still loved it. I just have more problems than I had with the previous two.

Still highly recommend this though. It's still a very good story and worth the read. Two big thumbs up from me!

And seeing that the next book is about Michael, the widowed ranch owner who Tucker worked for, and West, a sweet, shy guy who works for Michael and is Tucker's friend, excited me. I've been wanting Michael's story for some time. And West seems like such a sweet guy that I just can't wait for their story. (Also it said at the end that West is a virgin...and Michael is gonna change that...mhm I bet he will ;))

Onto the next! <3