Into the Rip: How the Australian Way of Risk Made My Family Stronger, Happier ... and Less American

by Damien Cave

When Damien Cave brought his young family to Sydney to set up the New York Times' Australian Bureau, they encountered the local pursuits of Nippers and surfing - and a completely different approach to risk that changed the way they lived their lives.

Damien Cave has always been fascinated by risk. Having covered the war in Iraq and moved to Mexico City with two babies in nappies, he and his wife Diana thought they understood something about the subject.

But when they arrived in Sydney so that Cave could establish The New York Times's Australia Bureau, life near the ocean confronted them with new ideas and questions, at odds with their American mindset that risk was a matter of individual choices. Surf-lifesaving and Nippers showed that perhaps it could be managed together, by communities. And instead of being either eliminated or romanticised, it might instead be respected and even embraced.

And so Cave set out to understand how our current attitude to risk developed - and why it's not necessarily good for us.

Into the Rip is partly the story of this New York family learning to live better by living with the sea and it is partly the story of how humans manage the idea of risk. Interviewing experts and everyday heroes, Cave asks critical questions like: Is safety overrated? Why do we miscalculate risk so often and how can we improve? Is it selfish to take risks or can more exposure make for stronger families, citizens and nations? And how do we factor in legitimate fears and major disasters like Cave has covered in his time here: the Black Summer fires; the Christchurch massacre; and, of course, Covid?

The result is Grit meets Phosphorescence and Any Ordinary Day - a book that will change the way you and your family think about facing the world's hazards.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Autobiography, Biography, Australia

Kindle Edition

Published September 29, 2021

Reviews

[B · Rating 1 out of 5]

I recently moved from the US to Australia and received this book as a gift from my family. I thought learning about the "Australian way of risk," which appeared to be the central theme of the book, would be worthwhile.

The book briefly touches on Australian culture, but focuses mostly on the Cave family's involvement with a surf club and interviews with academics on the topic of risk. Although the surf club is uniquely Australian, I struggled to differentiate Cave trying to pass an Australian lifeguarding test from the typical story of an American taking up a fitness challenge like a triathlon.

I hoped the book would focus more on Australians taking risks. Instead, outside of Cave's own surf club struggle, it seemed to focus on generic risk studies and academic interviews that seemed like filler and weren't tightly woven into the overall story.

Of the few Australians profiled in the book, at least one seemed more like an eccentric rather than someone representative of broader Australia.

More than ten percent of the book is also spent describing Cave's reporting on the aftermath of the New Zealand mosque shootings. If the book was focused on Australia's approach to risk, it would have been more appropriate to use that space to discuss the Australian mass shooting at Port Arthur and the fundamental changes Australia made to gun control laws in the aftermath.

I do think there was a significant omission or editing error in a section on kinship and community. Cave talks of the bonds formed during his war reporting days and describes a day when he profiled a particular American soldier. The soldier ends up being shot and Cave describes him being carried out on a stretcher. Cave writes about the unit recovering the soldier's gear, how they continue the fight, and how they spend the rest of the day. I finished reading the section and immediately thought "But what happened to the guy that was shot?" I read the section multiple times, as I was incredulous the status of the soldier went unexplained.

An internet search revealed the soldier died that day. How, in a section on kinship, could Cave fail to acknowledge his death? More importantly, the internet search revealed that in his initial NY Times reporting of this incident, the US military said Cave violated the terms of his embed agreement. The NY Times published a photo of the soldier on a stretcher and identified him without his prior written consent. The soldier's family and the military were angry about the reporting. Cave had his embed status suspended.

Reflecting on the incident, a veteran combat correspondent with the Houston Chronicle stated "my feeling is that the public interest was served by that story being out there, including the picture. But you can't agree to a set of conditions and act like that agreement doesn't bind you." A detailed account of the reporting that is better than my paraphrasing is located in this book available online: Red, White, or Yellow?: The Media & the Military at War in Iraq.

I support the decision by Cave and the NY Times to publish the story and the name of the soldier, as the truth needs to be told. However, after the significant uproar about Cave's reporting and the distress caused to the soldier's family, Cave should have been more sensitive about how he described the incident in the book. He should have made sure the story was told clearly.

I don't think describing the incident and naming the soldier, but failing to acknowledge the fact that he died, is the right answer. This omission, which lacks empathy for the soldier and the soldier's family, caused me to view Cave's writing through a different lens.

Cave also missed an opportunity to tell the full story of the incident. Cave's decision to take the risk to run the piece, follow his ideals as a journalist, have his embed status suspended, and jeopardize the ability for the NY Times to embed in Iraq would have fit well with the theme of "Into the Rip." It would have made for far more compelling reading on risk than another academic study.

All that aside, the first and last chapter of the book had some good insights into Australian culture and the book did get me thinking about my own approach to risk. The book also made me want to get back in the water and start swimming again....but maybe not in the rip tides of Bronte.

[Leah St · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every now and again I read an e-book and think dammit, should have bought the paper copy. OK, this might be the first.

This is such a hard book to classify or describe. My rambling recommendations to friends leaves them looking puzzled and alarmed for my mental health.

For that reason it won't appeal to everyone, but it should. Think Ted Talk in a book. No matter who you are, you'll get something from this book.

It is part self help, part parenting manual, part travel memoir, part surf life saving training manual (not really, trying to save lives after reading this is probably not advisable).

There were so many notable passages in this book that it almost motivates me to learn how bookmarks in e-books work so I can relocate all those pages I bookmarked to re-read. But I'm too busy using the tiny tech savy part of my brain figuring out how to restrict my kids you tube access and clear my browser history of 'how to spawn enderman with command blocks' that I know I won't, which is why I need that paper copy. This review would be way better if I had one so I could look all smart and stuff by quoting the insightful and well written words of the author. As it is you'll have to take my word for it that this book is worth reading.

I've often wondered how to convert my corporate risk management knowledge into every day life, and vice versa. Like when my son broke his arm very badly for the third time in 5 years and suffered a number of painful surgeries and procedures and swore he would never ride a skate park again. I spent days in that hospital unsuccessfully trying to figure out how to convert a comparable corporate scenario into helpful learnings for a 10 year old. If only I'd had this book at the time. It answered so many other questions I'd pondered over the years, like why was it so important to us that same son kept playing cricket when he wanted to quit (not broken arm related), and why do I seem to be so determined to make my life more difficult by constantly striving towards some random new goal rather than being content to relax and go with the flow?

The sections of the book that are memoirs of Damian's work, travels, parenting, and life saving training were easy and enjoyable to read. After all he is the head of the news desk for a reason. The sections of the books that are interviews with the pre-eminent experts in their fields require more concentration, but deliver the goods to those who persevere. Like the value of the one hard thing and the concept of the hope circuit.

My son's determination to avoid skate parks for the rest of his life lasted 2 days. After reading this book I just might join him there.

[Kyla Meredith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sweeping generalizations that pretend to be backed up by rigorous academia. Not sure how Australians are at the same time more cautious than Americans but also take more risks? Would have been better as a straight memoir of learning to swim rather than trying to be some sort of pop psychology book.

[Sandra Haberlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written in the style of a self help book/ parenting guide (which I wasn’t expecting) - relates the story of an American family posted to Bronte and the author’s quest to achieve a bronze surf life saving medallion all the while couched in terms of risk. Interesting but not what I expected!

[Sean T Scanlon · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was kind of boring. Perhaps because I am Australian I don’t find the telling of this story very interesting. Cave does a disservice to both Aussies and Americans. American was built on people taking risk and continues this in so many aspects of its society. Similarly, Australia does the same in it won way. An American achieving the bronze medallion is nothing special but does provide the narrative for the author to express his various views, mostly woke, about his country of origin and his adopted country.

Strangely his views on risk in Australia don’t quite contrast with his experiences in war zones. Surely, those war zone experiences are worth a discussion on risk before learning to swim at an Australian beach.

This is a nice story, however, quite disjointed in the telling and seems a little pointless. It feels like a book written during covid because he had little else to do. This might appeal to the New York Time readership but that about all.

Nonetheless, I have to admit that Damien Cave has adopted Australia as his country and that shines through the book. Welcome Mr Cave, but you have a lot to learn before you truly convert from Yank to Aussie.

[Susan C · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book really resonated for me. It might appear to be a memoir of a US journo, moving to Australia and fitting in with our Nipper and Life Saver culture but in reality its a indepth look at what makes Australians, well Australian. Not the jingoistic, knock about Aussie blokes and shelias but more the average person, the mums and dads and their kids. It a book about risk, about community culture, and resilience amongst many other qualities which make an 'Aussie' but is not particularly restricted to the Australian psyche. Its just the combination of which, which forms our character (mostly)

At times the author compares our culture with that of his home country, which I got the sense was more a warning than an aspiration.

I think this is a book I will re-read in the future. I know I have missed things and will probably view others differently once I have a chance to let it stew around my brain for a while.

[Diane Wallis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lots to like about this book. Being an early-morning year-round swimmer at an ocean pool, I’m familiar with the camaraderie that binds people together who do this sort of thing pretty much every day of the year, even when the water gets down to 13°C.
Author, Damien Cave’s son is Baz, short for Balthazar — my mother’s father’s name. Nice coincidence. Also no apostrophes in 50s and 60s thankfully. And the revelation of how this American family including wife Diana and daughter Amelia took to the water and joined the Surf Lifesaving Club at Bronte is very interesting, insightful and rewarding.
Cave’s take on all this is kind of individual freedom vs. risk and that the American way of revering freedom and personal choice cuts into the ability of adults and children to have a crack at something that may be beyond their comfort and safety zone. And that going there, taking that risk and conquering the unknown is good for that individual and the community in general.
Australians aren’t devoid of caution, they were early adopters of quite a lots of safety features. Seat belts in cars, helmets for motorcyclists and cyclists are required by law. But this is because the prevailing health setup patches up accident victims gratis and lawmakers figured that safety restraints and head protection would minimise injuries and therefore result in less financial strain on the system. On the other hand, in Australia we all know that country kids propped up on telephone books start driving on private roads as soon as they can reach the pedals. Even twelve-year-olds on very remote stations will fly planes to go play with a neighbour.
Cave’s story is interspersed with readings and interviews with psychologists and academics. I haven’t read the work of most of these experts but back a bit I did buy Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman but only read a few pages because I felt the title conveyed the message — snap decisions versus mulling over. Perhaps I should look for it again.
Cave wrote: “To become a lifesaver — to get better at risk, especially as an American — I needed to fully let go of my independence and ego. I needed to suppress all the idealised I’ve-got-this-don’t-tread-on-me individualism that I’d been surrounded by in the US and grow towards a different worldview that put connection (not self) at the centre of everything.”
Highly recommended.

[Adrienne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about an American family who moves to Australia, a journalist who arrives to set up a branch of the New York Times. While it does compare aspects of culture, it basically focuses on attitudes to risk with some help from a few academic sources. A lot of the story is about how the family dived into the lifesaving scene at Bronte Beach and what they learned about themselves.

Having grown up in Sydney and spending most teenage school holidays at Tamarama Beach which is next door to Bronte Beach, a lot of this resonated with me. Tamarama is considered one of the most dangerous beaches in NSW and back in the 1970's a couple of the lifesavers were friends. Fast forward many years and I have also lived overseas several times as a parent, two of those being in the U.S. and have experienced the situation where you are trying to adapt to a new culture. In the case of the U.S there seem to be nearly as many differences as similarities.

The book is recent and includes the events of 2020 including terrible bushfires and the pandemic.
While it may have benefited from some editing at times and was perhaps of more relevance to me than others. I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it to be a very worthwhile read.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

Into the Rip by Damien Cave is thoroughly enjoyable, easy to read and well structured. He has laid out the surf lifesaving experience for his kids as well as himself with accuracy and for me, a lot of familiarity, given that I have been involved in the movement, well forever. But this is not a diary of an American family's cultural experience with an iconic Australian institution. Surf lifesaving is just the narrative for a wider dive into the notion of risk and the cultural differences between the USA and Australia, where the USA values individualism and applauds individual achievement, Australian culture places greater emphasis on collective achievement. This is not to acknowledge that there is a wide spectrum of both in both countries, but Cave reflects on his own experiences. He takes a very deep dive into the psychological research to try to make sense of his personal observations including matters outside of nippers, such as the Christchurch massacre in 2019 and a lobster farming, amateur AFL player in Tasmania. Highly recommended.

[Mary Mckennalong · Rating 3 out of 5]

If there were half stars I’d say 3.5 stars. I was excited to read this book , but it didn’t quite deliver for me. I think it was poorly edited, which is surprising given it was written by a journalist. It wandered off too many times for my tastes and I think could have easily been 100 pages shorter, at least! It just got off track too many times and was a mash of risk theory, anecdotal risk management wins, Australian history, community commentary, Angela Duckworth was in there….. it was all over the place. Too much detail about swimming in surf and what people said or wore that were not relevant. Sometimes those bits read like a high school essay. Despite that, there were jewels of insight at the end of those winding roads and I highlighted many passages for future thinking. It’s a muddle of a book, but at its heart, passionate and humble and it was worth the long haul to stay engaged. And I’d thank the author for his insights.

[Jim KABLE · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing With the Flow into Community

Anyone who has moved abroad to live in another cultural milieu - even with a similar language and style - who engages with that society - learns not only to find the differences between the societies but also to find themselves - anew. This is an outstanding book - by a man and family who embraced the rip (took the risk) and emerged all the stronger for it. I saw Damien Cave in interview on The Drum, the ABC TV (the national broadcaster’s late afternoon in-depth political and social commentary program) and bought the book at once. Highly recommended to any who may once have thought that the US and Australia were more-or-less interchangeable. We are but we are not!

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This book is a blend of memoir and social commentary / analysis, with a dash of motivational psychology, and a lotta love for the surf lifesaving movement. It starts in 2017, when Damien Cave and his family arrive from the United States and settled in the beachside suburb of Bronte. Through his children's involvement in the Nippers program, and his own subsequent swim and surf lifesaving training, he came to identify differences between American and Australian cultures, and their attitudes towards, individualism, community, and the social contract.

His experiences can be summarised as: in order to be safe taking this significant and disconcerting risk (of swimming safely in the ocean), he had to unlearn a very American sense of individualism (that he had to be best, and to be able to solve everything by himself) and embrace an Australian, more collective approach to risk-taking. Australians expect people to get involved, have a go, and look out for each other.

What starts as a readable, slightly niche story gains added relevance because the book was published in 2021. His America vs Australia comparisons about risk-taking, individualism and collective action were magnified by our actions from 2020 onwards - first by the devastating bushfires and then by Covid.

Damien Cave is an engaging storyteller, whose research includes speaking to famous experts including Martin Seligman, Angela Duckworth and Richard Flanagan. However, I am not sure his hypothesis is compelling, and at times I have struggled to see the point he is trying to make. His US vs Australia comparisons are often fascinating, but can also seem grossly generalised, especially in hindsight following our pandemic experiences, since we know that things are more nuanced than what he has noticed / experienced.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was really hopeful that this book would be brilliant, having really enjoyed the books it compared itself to (Grit, Any Ordinary Day and Phosphorescence) but it really didn’t hold a candle to them - it was ok, but not memorable in the way those books were.

Rambling Americanisms, broad sweeping generalisations, recanting of other peoples work with little new insight and a very painful explanation of realising the Pacific Ocean isn’t a New York penthouse swimming pool took up most of the book. The rest was the “harrowing tale” of a grown man working towards a bronze medallion (and achievement a lot of 14 year olds pull off).

The book felt extremely disjointed with the segments not about the “learn to swim” saga interlaced between seemingly disconnected anecdotes and had a very “I was bored during COVID” vibe. The selling point to me was Australian risk culture but I’m not really sure where that message was and it remains a mystery to me.

Happy to have read it once but would not reach for it again.

[Cathryn Wellner · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone new to Australia, with family members involved in both surfing and lifesaving, I read Damien Cave's book with keen interest. The immigration story is fascinating, as he follows his own, his wife's, and his children's attempts to navigate a new culture. But the book is more than a memoir. It is an exploration of risk, both from a personal and a societal standpoint. Cave discovers that while Americans view risk as personal choice, Australians have a more community-focused approach to managing risk. As he researches the way these two, and other countries, deal with life's hazards and vagaries, he comes to a deeper understanding of his and his families' ways of taking on challenges and creating a satisfying life.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars - an interesting read about australians from an outside perspective and how our relationship with the ocean exemplifies our relationship with risk. as someone who grew up on sydney’s beaches it was really nice to read about someone falling in love with them, but i agree the narrative did at times meander. it did feel whilst reading it that author was oblivious to the sizeable wealth divide in sydney; he seemed to think his experiences of living to the most expensive area of sydney was the norm for sydney, or even all of australia? which became more frustrating as the book went on without the author acknowledging it, and certainly not discussing how that impacts the key themes of his book - risk and belonging

[Michelle Saffin · Rating 2 out of 5]

With a similar style to Clementine Ford and having been recommended a couple of times I hoped for more than this book offered. For one it was much too focused on parenting for me, and concurrently the big revelation that Australia is different to the US feels silly at a time when so much is happening in America. I think it would be better suited to parents / guardians of children, and perhaps even more suited to Americans. Trigger warning also for a chapter about COVID, but to be honest that was one of the better parts of the book for me, as it lead to me reflecting on the incredible community efforts of Melbournians.

[Hanna Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It brought me back to the time I lived in Sydney and the times I went to Bronte and Bondi.
I could really feel the waves and the ocean.
I could relate to the Australian way and the immigrant feelings. It’s amazing how we can leave behind the things we didn’t like about our own culture and take in the Australian way where everybody pitch in. We all do our part for the benefit of the whole.

My reviews are not a summaries of the book. They are personal reflections of how I felt while listening to it and what I took in for my life so I can refer back to it in the future.

[Suzie B · Rating 5 out of 5]

and his assessment of how we compare as a nation to the USA when it comes to risk. I felt like a proud Australian after reading his book, as he highlights our sense of community (which is particularly relevant more than ever). His psychological analysis and reflections stand up to those of other reputable writers like Martin Seligman. I would highly recommend this book.

[Kim Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

The fact that I’ve written all over, underlined and put post it notes all over this one moved it up from 4 to 4.5 stars. Maybe the fact that it’s inspired me to want to get my Bronze Medallion should make it a 5? Loved reading about some of my favourite beaches, the ocean and giving more thought to why ocean swimming is so good for me. Thanks to Ian for the recommendation.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating book. I am Australian yet I learned a lot about Australian culture which I didn't know. I guess I took it for granted. Sometimes you need an outside perspective to truly understand your own country. Would have preferred more general discussion about Australian culture versus American - the book focuses almost exclusively on the author's personal experiences with a surf club.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring read about embracing risk and challenge

Loved Damien’s story of coming to Australia and reflecting on the differences between Aus and US culture. I found the message of ‘choose the bigger adventure’ very inspiring and love the message of developing self confidence through challenge and achievement. A bracing, fascinating and inspiring read!

[Annetta · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started off loving this book… but got very bored with all the tangents … thank goodness I grew up at Bondi .. loved the sea and that life . Really just skimmed the last hundred pages which seemed to be on another track.

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A definite must read… I found this book very insightful and full of hope. It made me reflect on personal things going on in my own life and gave me great hope for the future and help improve my understanding of my own resilience.

[Finnternational · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an unusual book - part autobiography, part academic discussion with some parenting, self-help, journalism about world events and differing cultures etc.
I enjoyed it, a motivating New Years read with some funny and memorable bits.

[Glenn Capelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

One if the finest books I have ever read. It reaches and teaches beyond the Waves, beyond the Surf, beyond individual strength. Quite beautiful and moving. Deep and wonderful waters. Self help meets Us help meets Community - humanity needs this humility. This lesson. Thank you Damo.

[Reannon Bowen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. An interesting read. or listen in my case. I enjoyed hearing how someone from another country viewed living in Australia.

[SHR · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Ian Tymms · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s a corker. Review coming.

[Carol Musgrave · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent encouragement to embrace risk is essential to growth..every parent needs to read this..

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting to listen to an outsiders perspective on Australian way of life. Nothing earth shattering involved here otherwise.