Better Than Happy: Connecting With Divinity Through Conscious Thinking

by Jody Moore

Our unconscious thought patterns determine our relationships, our spiritual life and our connection to God to a much greater extent than we know. That’s an alarming thought, because the subconscious mind is a mysterious realm that is really difficult to access and influence…right? No. It’s really not! And it’s the most urgent and impactful thing we can do. This book will show you how.

How do I choose faith over fear when my loved ones are making poor choices?
Why don’t I feel happier if I’m reading and praying like I’ve been taught?
How can I stop feeling like I’m just not good enough?
What am I to do when my spouse is judgmental of me?
How do I trust in Christ when everything seems to be falling apart?

Get answers to these and other tough questions in the context of Christ-centered principles throughout this book.
Jody Moore is a Master Certified Life Coach who has taught and coached tens of thousands of women through her in-person and online workshops and podcast. She brings her characteristic clarity, wisdom, humor and disarming honesty to this groundbreaking book.

In Better Than Happy , Jody shows how a simple 5-step model she uses in every session with her clients can reveal the unconscious patterns of thoughts that keep us from deeper and healthier connection with ourselves, with our loved ones and with God. Jody then shows how, once we clear the debris of our unconscious patterns of thought, new streams of understanding of Christ’s teachings begin to flow.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Religion, Book Club, Lds, Audiobook, Spirituality

288 pages, Paperback

Published September 10, 2021

Reviews

[Debbie Allred · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you're an LDS, white, middle/upper class female then this book is for you. Although there were some tidbits that did resonate with me, overall I did not care for the book at all. I'm not a fan of "life coaching," and feel it's trendy. I did some research on her and Brooke Castillo (she refers to her several times) and though they can help people, I find it to be more of a money making scheme. If you need help, go to an educated therapist, not some life coach who has taken a course and then makes a ton of money off of you.

[Camian Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read it with a highlighter. The kind of book I want to re-read every year to remind me of so many good ideas and life hacks.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been in Jody’s program for 2 years and am familiar with her work and I will admit I was a bit skeptical of her trying to write a book with a faith based perspective since she doesn’t talk about it much in her program. But I felt this was fleshed out well and if you’ve heard her speak than you’ll get some of her humor throughout. Sometimes it’s good to have things written out to easily refer back to them. I really needed to read this book right now.

[Emily · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read for a book club.

Is there anything horrendous or wrong about this book? Not particularly.
Are there good things in this book that I found and that no doubt other people could find more? Yes.
Is this approach something that I feel I can relate to or really get anything out of? . . . . . Not really.

If you relate to this book and find connection in it, I am happy for you.
If you think this book sounds like you would connect with it- by all means come, read and enjoy it.

As for me and my house though, I will search for a stronger stimulant.


There are approaches in this book that I disagree with on their fundamental levels (not all, but many) and the semantics that I associate and find with many life coaching books simply do not resonate with me. I don't enjoy feeling like I'm being 'sold' on a thought process and that by questioning it I am simply 'not giving a good enough try'.
So it's not entirely the book's fault that I am simply not a member of the target audience. But it doesn't mean that I should have to force myself to like it *shrug*.

[Monica Harker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished listening to this, and now I want a hard copy to go back and highlight and reread. So many great insights to continue to think about, and remember.
So much of this resonated with me, especially in her strategies in parenting, and remembering, “There I go being a human again!.”


Also, Thought - feeling - action.
Take it back to what you are thinking always 👏
Good stuff!!!!

[Lacey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jody is my life coach and I’m so glad she’s put her tools into book form. I’ve listened to her podcast for about 5 years and been in her coaching membership for 2 years. Learning that my thoughts create my feelings which motivate my actions and finally determine my results has been life changing for me.

[Steve Cramer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the most thoughtful books that I have read on how to apply the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Often, I read the scriptures or listen to General Conference and hear that we should “repent” or “exercise faith.” I often ask myself how this should be done. I believe these things but I am not totally sure how to do it.

Jody provides a some ideas for how I can exercise greater faith and change. Her approach has been really helpful in teaching my kids how to love themselves where they are at, observe their own thought patterns, and try on thoughts that will get them the results they are looking for.

This books seems primarily geared toward women and mothers, but I loved it. There is so much practical information that has helped me come closer to being who I want to become.

[Brooke Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how Jody connects the ability to change our thoughts with principles of the gospel. Reading this has already helped me to increase my self-love by reframing some of my thoughts. The content is encouraging. I was grateful for the various examples of how to apply the model for changing our thoughts. It helped me to better understand how to apply it to my own thoughts and circumstances.

[Holly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic ideas! I’m generally not into self-help books, but found this to be uplifting and useful. Im so glad I read it.

[Aspen Stander Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love Jody Moore. This took all the best ideas of her podcast along with themes like faith and prayer and wove them into a beautiful set of tools for self-coaching.

[Jailynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very uplifting book with some amazing points for sure! However, it's very niche and highly geared towards members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints as it's laced with information and language familiar to members of the church. Every point she made was tied into religion, a church talk, and principles like faith, love, forgiveness, etc.

I just found the book to be very straightforward or "common sense" information, nothing inherently groundbreaking. The premise is this idea that you can shift your mindset about your situations to make yourself happier and more fulfilled (and love yourself more).

[Liz Kazandzhy · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read in a while. (It was for book club.) The concept of how changing your thoughts can cause a domino effect (by changing your emotions, actions, and results) was so simple yet mindblowing to me. I feel like I'm way more emotionally grounded when I remember to apply the things I learned in this book. I highlighted so many things and will likely go back and read those things often as a refreshed. I'd definitely recommend this book!

[Shauna · Rating 5 out of 5]

So grateful for the things I have learned from this book and from Jodie. It truly has altered my life over the last 5 years.

[Jennifer Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

This has been a really life-changing book for me. I'm looking at so many circumstances in my life through new eyes and trying to analyze them through Jody's model. It is so common sense and simple to apply. I feel like with these five steps she could help people avoid years of therapy. :) It's made me think--what is just circumstance and when is my reaction creating the problem? What's in my control? When is my FEAR actually creating the thing I'm worrying about? I know I will be working on these skills for a lifetime but it's worth the journey! I highly recommend looking Jody Moore up and learning about the model for yourself. Along with this book you can look at her website and podcast to see her model at work. Five big stars!

[Jen Pratt · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic and helpful book! I am familiar with “thought work” and how our thoughts can influence our feelings and actions, but Jody explains it all so well in this book and gives so many real-life applications and examples. This book is written with scriptures and quotes that reinforce the same principles as they align with gospel principles.

Jody Moore writes this book recognizing that many readers of this book will be members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and that many readers won’t be. The principle resonate with many people, regardless of their religious beliefs. 5 stars!

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a life changing book. Her decision to include a QR code link to some of her coaching sessions was so helpful. I listened multiple times so I could better learn her way of articulating thoughts and feelings. Thank you, Jody!

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've learned the principles of the gospel. I've separately learned about Jody's technique of changing your thoughts. This brought those two ideas together, and it was fascinating! It was also super helpful for me because sometimes putting the gospel into practice is too abstract for my very literal brain, and she gave me some great, concrete ideas for how I can apply the Atonement and other gospel principles in my life more fully. Definitely grateful I read this book!

[Paige Maddy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was exactly what I needed when I needed it. I’m so grateful for the thoughts Jody gives and how she links thought work to scripture and the gospel of Jesus Christ. I felt the spirit as I read and I already feel a difference trying to implement the model into my life.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

New required reading for me—a textbook reference, if you will. Reading it again right now.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t think it’s an overstatement to say that this book can be life changing! I have struggled with my thoughts for a long time and some of my most important relationships have suffered. This book has turned me to a new way of thinking about almost everything. So happy to have to read it!

[Elisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book & all the things it got me thinking about. I took lots of notes and will share them below:

1. Grace
how can we allow the atonement to strengthen us to do and be good?
I believe that one way is to pay attention to our
thoughts and feelings, and then ask the Lord to help us to choose them more deliberately. -12

In our human state, we tend to view outward things as the cause of our problems, or as the potential answer to our struggles, but in truth, the cause never exists outside of us. Our problems are all created Inwardly, therefore, the solutions are created inwardly as well.

The Self Coaching Model:
Circumstance
Thought
Feeling
Action
Result
Pg. 15

We think that if we can change the circumstances outside of us, then we can feel better. But the real power doesn’t come from outside of us. It comes from within. It comes from our thoughts. 16.

Elder, Lynn G Robbins taught, “others don’t make us angry. There is no force involved. Becoming angry is a conscious choice, a decision; therefore, we can make the choice not to become angry. We choose!”

Elder, David, a Bednar said, “it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you, or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make, it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”

Our feelings fuel our actions. 21

We all cause ourselves to feel bad at times, and it’s tempting to blame other people or events for it. But when we make external things responsible for our own experience, we delegate the control over our results to outside things that might never change.

Instead of blaming things outside of us, for how we feel, we have the option to watch our thoughts. 24
Once we have awareness, we can train ourselves to stop trying to control things we can’t control(like other people) and instead think a new believable thought that feels better 28

Your brain is a powerful tool. It’s your most valuable asset. When you spend time observing it, you’ll find that it is responsible for every single result in your life. It doesn’t matter what country or family you were born into. It doesn’t matter what happens or doesn’t happen to you as a child, or at any point in your life. In any situation, you get to choose your result, and the result will never come from the circumstance. It will come from everything that follows, from your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. President Russell M Nelson said, “the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives, and everything to do with the focus of our lives.“ 29

Elder Lynn g Robbins said, “being 100% responsible is accepting yourself as the person in control of your life. If others are at fault and need to change before further progress is made, then you are at their mercy and they are in control over the positive outcomes or desired results in your life.“ 33

As you and I come to understand and employ the enabling power of the atonement in our personal lives, we will pray, and seek for strength to change our circumstances, rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed. We will become agents who act rather than objects that are acted upon (2 Nephi 2:14)
We will pray for strength to change our results, rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed.34

2 The Lords Plan

Remember that Part of our purpose here on earth is to grow closer to, and become more like our heavenly parents, and that sometimes hardship is required for us to progress. Elder James E Faust, said, “in the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiners fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives, can melt away like dross and make our faith, bright, intact, and strong. In this way, the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll acted of some to become acquainted with God. In the ages of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly, whispering of the divine shepherd.“

*Life’s challenges strengthen us, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally, just as the challenge of a good workout strengthens us physically. And sometimes life enrolls us in tough classes. But if we stop making this mean that something has gone wrong, and instead lean on the Lord, we can get through these trials and be stronger as a result. 42

Resistance is when we pout and sulk, and refuse to acknowledge reality. Instead, we can learn to embrace life, the joyful parts, and the terrible parts… We can embrace that we are supposed to suffer and struggle and get bad news sometimes… Resistance doesn’t prevent trials, it just adds more negative Emotion on top of the negative emotion we already have about the bad news.… Allow for grief. But don’t stay in resistance. Pray to have eternal perspective. We can pray for strength beyond our natural abilities to handle challenges, process grief or pain, and move through a trial. 45

The reality is that the characteristics we want our kids to develop don’t come from ease. They come through facing challenges. 51

Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf said, “sooner or later, I believe that all of us experience times, when the very fabric of our world, tears at the seams, leaving us feeling alone, frustrated, and adrift. It can happen to anyone. No one is immune. Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, I have learned that there is something That would take away the bitterness that may come into our lives. There is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious. We can be grateful!”52

Guilt is the easiest negative layering emotion, but there is a go- to emotion for positivity as well. It’s gratitude.55
you’ll have to choose to be grateful. you’ll have to look for the blessings you are already grateful for, and not take them for granted. From time to time, pause to notice these good things. You’ll then get to feel gratitude. 56

Problems are a part of the plan. Problems are the good part. They give us the chance to examine ourselves and choose whether we’re going to stay stuck or take charge of what we think and who we are. We can become our highest selves only when we are up against the challenge. Otherwise, there is no growth.

3 Agency

Clean pain: pain we feel when we are going through a grieving process over what we thought would be

Dirty pain: unnecessary pain that keeps you stuck. It comes from thoughts like “this isn’t fair. He can’t do this. This was not supposed to happen. He owes me. He needs to figure this out.” 61

Our use of agency determines who we are, and what we will be.… I have a few friends who graduated from Ivy League universities. I admire those friends tremendously. Imagine if at those schools someone had sat next to them in class, whispering the right answers into their ears the entire time they attended. Every test. Every paper. Obviously, that would have negated their experience and they’re learning. In reality, my friends had to struggle, make mistakes, and be committed enough to learn the material and do well, even though that was the hard way. 63

Elder hales, “ if through our unrighteous choices, we have lost our footing on that path, we must remember the agency we were given, agency we may choose to exercise again. I speak, especially to those overcome by the thick darkness of addiction. If you have fallen into destructive, addictive behaviors, you may feel that you are spiritually in a black hole. as with real black holes in space, it may seem all but impossible for light to penetrate to where you are. How do you escape? I testify the only way is through the very agency you exercised so valiantly in your pre-mortal life, the agency that the adversary cannot take away without your yielding it to him.”64

An empowering thought: I can make a different choice anytime I want.
“Who do I want to be now?”67

we get to decide if we are going to judge others or love them. We can be critical or curious. 68.

Agency means that people can, and will behave terribly at times. Agency also means that we don’t have to tolerate that behavior. 71.

Chapter 5 prayer
The eye sees what the mind looks for…
Race car drivers are taught that if their car begins to skid out of control, they need to avoid looking at large objects that they don’t want to crash into. Because even if a driver is looking at an object and thinking watch out for that telephone pole, the brain only knows that now telephone poles are relevant, so the body will work together with the brain, and the driver will become more likely to steer directly into the pole. Drivers instead learn to look in the direction of the road, the dirt, or someplace where they want the car to go. 91

Prayer is a version of conscious thinking, because when we pray, we intentionally direct our mind toward what we want to say to our father in heaven. Maybe you say your prayer out loud, maybe you whisper it, or maybe you say it in your head. Doesn’t matter. When you pray you’re thinking thoughts, and focusing your brain in a more meditative, receiving state. You’re telling your brain what to focus on and learning to still your mind. What we focus on, we head toward, we create more of, and we attract into our lives. And the Lord answers.

Does he really need us to tell him what we’re thinking? He knows our thoughts.
I need to tell him. For my own benefit. I need to direct my mind toward the things I want so that I can tell my brain what to look for and create in my life. 92

Kevin r Duncan of the 70 said, “ even though we may be a victim once, we need not be a victim twice by carrying the burden of hate, bitterness, pain, resentment, or even revenge. We can forgive, and we can be free.”

Holding onto anger, punishes us, and only us because we have to feel those terrible feelings when we create them for ourselves. The people we are mad at don’t feel them. They might feel something negative, but only if they create negativity for themselves with their own thoughts. So the idea that we are somehow letting perpetrators off the hook if we forgive them is ridiculous. When we carry around anger and resentment, we punish ourselves for other peoples bad behavior. 108

The way we think about other people, specifically about their behavior in this case, creates our emotions about them. 108
The first phase of forgiveness is gaining awareness of your thoughts. Imagine that you want to get directions from your GPS. The GPS system needs to identify where you are currently. That is the only way it can calculate properly. Acknowledging what you’re currently thinking, even if your thoughts are mean, childish, or even illogical is necessary to get started on the path toward the thoughts you want to have.109

Chapter 8 repentance
Falling down, and then getting back up, strengthens us. 135

The apostle Paul taught that godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation, but the sorrow of the world, worketh death. Godly sorrow inspires change, and hope through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Worldly sorrow pulls us down, extinguishes hope, and persuades us to give into further temptation.141

Chapter 9 love one another
*Love is created by loving thoughts.145

I am judging my sister when I think, “she shouldn’t judge.“ We are the ones who are being negative when we tell our friends about our negative husbands. The alternative is to accept that people get to be whoever they want to be and we can choose to love them exactly as they are. 152

*Loving people doesn’t mean condoning bad behavior. It doesn’t mean we don’t teach the people whom we have a responsibility for teaching, such as our kids. It doesn’t even mean that we don’t make requests of other people, set boundaries, or leave a relationship. It only means that hatred, frustration, and anger don’t have to be the fuel for our actions. Love feels better and is more effective.154

We are more confident and empowered when we stay in a loving space. We are more effective at anything we are trying to accomplish. We have more courage, more wisdom, more solutions, and more patience. Love breeds goodness in us, and then we pass that goodness along through our actions. Love is truly us at our best. 159

Sometimes, being in the pain, and with the pain is the way through the pain, and I didn’t want to rub her of the experience if that was true for her. I told her that her friends judgment was not creating her pain. Her own thoughts were creating her pain. 159

Chapter 11 opposition in all things
*We can return to the 50/50 balance that allows for maximum happiness by relaxing into the primary negative emotion and knowing that this is how it feels to be a human trying her best but sometimes falling short or downright messing it all up.
Embracing and allowing the primary negative experience creates openness. This openness allows you first to process the original emotion without resisting it or layering it… Now I’m open to the frustration and can process it and understand my role in creating it. The feeling is not prolonged, and I don’t spend much time beating myself up or making my life harder.191

Commitment is a feeling we all think we want but it actually doesn’t feel very good (pain, sacrifice, time, stretching)193

Your willingness to feel any and all emotions, even the negative ones, will be the determining factor in whether you reach your goals. 194

Planning to serve a mission? Make sure you’re good at feeling rejection, loneliness, homesickness, boredom, and anxiety.But cheer up, these are the negative 50/50.

*Emotions are just the sensations we experience in our bodies when our internal organs release chemicals and hormones. …when you recognize that there is nothing wrong when you feel “bad” and you learn how to feel all of your feelings, then you become unstoppable.
If negative emotions are required for success, then getting good at negative emotions is useful.195

*Get still with yourself. Take deep breaths in and out. Relax your body. Open up to the negative emotion. The reactions get weaker as we acknowledge them. we are meant to feel all emotions. But we have to stop running away from them, eating them, numbing them, resisting them, or thinking we can’t handle them. We can. 199

Chapter 12 the natural man
To illustrate what happens in our brains when we indulge in false pleasures, I like to use over eating and pornography as examples. The root cause of indulging in them is the same. Most people have struggled with at least one of them.209

The spirit speaks to us in a still small voice. It’s subtle and it lives on a certain frequency. In Other words, if I’m tuning my radio ( the emotions I’m living from), to the frequencies of guilt, shame, judgment, stress, frustration, or anger than I likely won’t hear the spirit because the spirit doesn’t reside at those frequencies. The spirit resides where there is peace, love, inspiration, determination, and faith. When we tune into that frequency and make our best effort to stay there, we will experience the results listed in Galatians 5:22 - 23.” The fruit of the spirit is love joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” False pleasures don’t feel like any of those good things. Not for more than a few seconds anyway.
The spirit cannot reside with us as we escape from ourselves. It is only by being present with ourselves, even through discomfort, that we learn to understand the spirit, make peace with it, and connect with God through it.
The rewiring begins with understanding your current, thinking, and then questioning your thoughts. Then you must be willing to be uncomfortable. Just experience the discomfort. Don’t answer it, don’t try to get rid of it, just be with it.212-213
did you know you can feel desire and not answer it? You won’t die. You won’t explode… Allow the desire. We don’t resist it or push against it. We are actually present in our bodies and discover what it’s like to be a human who is experiencing unanswered desire.… And every time you allow desire without answering it, you begin rewiring your brain to not crave it so much. sometimes as you do this work, the natural man will win out, and you’ll give into a desire. After this happens the way you address yourself matters tremendously. When we beat ourselves up with thoughts like, I’m so weak, I will never overcome this, I can’t believe I did that, I’m a terrible person—We create even more problems. Thoughts like this actually make it harder to get back on track.214-215

Jeffrey are Holland said, “what I now say no way denies or diminishes any commandment God has ever given us. I believe in his perfection and I know we are his spiritual sons and daughters with divine potential to become as he is. I also know that, as children of God, we should not demean or vilify ourselves, as if beating up on ourselves, is somehow going to make us the person God wants us to become. No!, with a willingness to repent and the desire for increased righteousness always in our hearts, I would hope we could pursue personal improvement in a way that doesn’t include getting ulcers or anorexia, feeling depressed, or demolishing our self-esteem. That is not what the Lord wants for primary children, or anyone else who honestly sings, ‘ I’m trying to be like Jesus.”

Criticizing yourself is toxic. It is a trap. It will keep you stuck and spinning. 216

Without that Diet Coke break, I believed I had nothing to look forward to. Did you hear that? I have a beautiful family of four incredible kids, loving husband… And my thought was I just don’t have anything to look forward to now that I don’t drink Diet Coke. This realization was extremely eye-opening. Do you know what I want the best part of my day to be? Not a diet soda that’s for sure. But here’s what I’ve discovered about the empty places within us, they don’t feel good, but if we’re willing to sit with them for a time, something better is available and waiting to fill that void.219

Chapter 13 faith

Taking accountability for our results brings personal power, which I define as full ownership of our thoughts, feelings, actions, and results.225
*This is how we respond to our goals in many cases. We want to know exactly how to accomplish something before we give ourselves permission to believe we can do it. Our brains tell us that if we can’t see the entire path or find solid proof that we will succeed, then it’s dangerous to believe we can accomplish our goal. What if believing is actually the most important part of pursuing a goal? As we pursue goals faith is the emotion that is extremely useful fuel for our actions.228

I believe the Lord wants us to show up and work toward our goals. I believe what Pablo Picasso said, “inspiration exists, but it Has to find you working.”
But our work is more effective when it’s fueled by excited anticipation, than by discouraged doubt. I believe it serves us well to put our faith in good things, to keep believing when challenges come, and to have faith, even when everyone around us does not.229

Answer your brain with “we’ll figure it out. Just keep going.”
I can only be a victim if I choose to think that I am. 233

When with Faith, you choose to know without proof that you will succeed, you experience joy all along the way.234

Chapter 14 earthly life
‘Trespasses against me’ is an interesting phrase. I don’t think Jesus is talking about us offending him or his honor, I think he is above being easily offended. Trespassing is about stepping over boundaries.(& in turn hurting others) 250

Our kids are not supposed to live free of challenges or mistakes. And neither are we. The Lord’s plan was that we would be sent to earth, be told to keep the commandments, and mess it all up. That was the plan. That is not a mistake. That is not a disappointment. That is the way it was always going to go down.251

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book with a model about recognizing our thought patterns and improving how we think about ourselves and others. Faith-based and very helpful.

[Kristie Kerr · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Wish I had this available to me 30 years ago. This book has been such a blessing to me. I have learned I’m responsible for my thoughts & how to shift my thinking. This empowering model has been so helpful as I have dealt this hard things. It’s helped me to rely on Jesus Christ more & what thing I have control over, so I can hand the rest of it to Him. I love her podcast, but I really enjoyed this book as the model was taught in order and it helped my brain more. I think it’s a great read for everyone.

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I purchased this book. I was so excited to hear about it on one of Brooke Castillo's podcasts. I have mixed feelings about it for some reason. I'm not sure I can pinpoint why. The whole book is based on Brooke Castillo's "model" mingled with scriptures and quotes from general authorities. There's nothing that feels untrue here. So I'm not sure why it didn't resonate with me as much as I hoped it would.

I have listened to all of Brooke Castillo's podcasts on YouTube over the past two years and loved them. They were life changing for me. When I listened to Brooke's work I found many parallels to gospel teachings along the way. I was excited to see how Jody Moore combines Gospel truth with Brooke's methods.

I've also come across Jody Moore on a few YouTube videos and podcasts. I identify with and understand her words and some of her examples. I like her personal perspective and stories.

Maybe it's her tone I have trouble with? Maybe I had trouble with the book because I kept getting paper cuts from it? Maybe my expectations were just too high since my personal experience was so transformative. I'm not sure why I didn't love it. But I do like this book. I'm glad I bought it. I'd probably recommend it to members of the Church. Maybe.

Next day update:

I've continued to think about why I struggled a bit with this book. I think I've figured it out:

Our thought problems are very human. They're definitely connected to our mortal bodies. It's essential that we learn how to supervise our thoughts. It's a very telestial/terrestrial problem. The scriptures and prophets help us deal with those problems. But like the author quotes in her second to last chapter, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." The problem I see is all these quotations from scriptures and general authorities lend themselves to moralizing something very human. Maybe the problem is all in my mind. I might have to reread the book with a different attitude.

I hoped that if I read this book with her, it would help my daughter who has an eating disorder. Her problem is connected to religiosity. She moralizes food and the eating of it. She's connecting a very human problem with a spiritual problem. She needs to separate the two and honor her physical instincts. A few chapters into this book, I realized the book wasn't for her. Some of it wouldn't relate to her; it leans toward the young mom, probably because of the author's experience. It might make her problem worse. It's a super religious book. I think it's more heavily religious than the self-help direction. That's fine. I'm sure the author was intentional about making this a religious book. It was instructional to me in some ways.

I'm still thinking about this. I may do another update. I think it matters. The ideas Brooke Castillo shares are extremely helpful. I can listen to her endlessly. I guess it's just more comfortable for me to compartmentalize human problems from my spiritual aspirations. While listening to Brooke, the Spirit speaks to me. While listening to Jody, I mostly hear Jody. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It just hasn't helped as much as I hoped.

Update Two:

I was just telling my husband about my feelings about this book and he helped me realize part of my problem: Jody Moore is not a religious authority. She is a trained life coach. I'm sure she's awesome that way, but she can't speak for the Church. I don't know her enough to trust her. I guess that's where I get some of my discomfort. I don't mean this as a criticism. I was just trying to figure out why I felt a subtle disconnect. Life coaching is her big business. I'm sure she has many great motives. Brooke Castillo is very open about her own purposes: making 100 million dollars and showing what's possible. Jody Moore doesn't hide her business success. This book could be seen more like a testimony. Yet it feels like it's presented as absolute truth. That feels uncomfortable to me. It's just a super subtle feeling.

Overall, I like the book. I probably like it better now that I've figured out my slightly negative reaction.

[Lori Evans · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book is a long slog! It contains a few good ideas relayed in boring ways & then repeats them several times- just for good measure. I was looking forward to reading it but was very disappointed.

[Brenda Christensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend recommended Jody Moore's podcasts to me a while ago. I have listened to many of her weekly podcasts and recently signed up for her Be Behold program. I have really learned a lot from her. I have never been one to examine my feelings and thoughts that carefully, but since listening to her, I realize how important it is for me to do this in order to overcome some of my natural tendencies and become who I really want to be. I enjoyed her book as much as I have enjoyed her podcasts. Her writing "voice" is just like her speaking one - personal, honest, and engaging. She really does have a gift to help others through some very challenging circumstances by teaching them (us) how to redirect their thoughts to ones that are "useful." Being a member of the same church, I appreciated how she tied in her beliefs with her model. I know I am becoming a better person because of the things I am learning from her. Would a non-religious person enjoy this book? I think so. Jody doesn't come across as being self-righteous or like she is preaching, she has merely built a framework with her beliefs as her model. (I realize I am probably being a little biased here because I am also a committed member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.)

[Carly Falco Sagers · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5! Absolutely loved this book! My mom is obsessed with Jody Moore and I’ve listened to a few of her podcasts and have liked them! I was planning to leave this book home so I didn’t have to pack it but I like it enough that I will pack it even though we have so much extra Christmas stuff!

“‘Godly sorrow’ is not “I’m sorry I’m so terrible”. It is “I’m sorry that’s not who I am”. Godly sorrow is recognition that the way you acted is not who you really are …. You are made in God’s image, and God is love”"
"Godly sorrow is “I am a son/daughter of God I Can do better"
“Do you think it’ll be easier to love yourself once you were more patient with your kids or less selfish?”

Essentially if you are waiting to “accomplish a goal” to love yourself then you’ll never be enough because there are always more goals to set"

[Lacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have followed Jody Moore for quite a while, and listened to her podcasts. She has some really great insight on your thought process. And why, in reality you should only be worried about how you are feeling. It is not your job to make someone else feel better. Some of the information, as a recovering people pleaser, is difficult to hear. Mostly because it's difficult to let that part go of my personality, but it is affecting me in ways that I didn't realize. This book does tie closely to being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, as she uses a lot of principles closely to scripture that is studied in that religion. Overall, it is a great book, and will give you some great tools to be 'Better Than Happy'.

[Heidi Shew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book! As an LDS life coach myself im grateful for this resource of someone who I’ve personally learned from. Tools that I love and that have completely shaped my world and my experience of church and my confidence in hearing the voice of the lord. Jody did a wonderful job in this book! Read it, listen to it. You won’t regret it! ❤️

[Miriam · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Model
Circumstances (the facts)- Thoughts (our interpretations of the facts) - Feeling (one word) - Action(how we react to our feeling) - Result (the experience we create for ourselves overall) [this goes back and affects our Thoughts]

The basic model is a nice initial way to try to make a situation more positive. Have a more positive thoughts and the cascade effect of a more positive result.

However, at times in the book Jody has a double standard. For example, a husband tells his wife, "I really don't like this chicken. You made for dinner." Jody says that it's not a fact that the husband was rude, but if the wife ignores the husband then the wife is being rude. I just didn't like that the wife, person who was trying to figure out how to make the situation better, had more expectations or limits. I have seen people use the phrase "I don't control your feelings" as an excuse to continue to mistreated people who do as Jody advise to talk out the issue. I would have preferred Jody stating that the wife didn't like her reaction of withdrawing and that was the reason what lead the wife to wanting to redirect her thoughts. That would have put the wife in control without putting the wife down or holding her to higher expectations.

I appreciate that Jody was open about some of her flaws even though I feel she was more willing to talk about others' more embarrassing situations. I guess she felt that way since she wasn't putting their actual name which I can understand.

Jody was honest in sharing how she didn't like it when her son cried. However, I find the stigma that 'crying as bad' is a shaming/toxic way of addressing a difficult situation for a person. Although that's not something Jody was promoting; it is a flaw of Jody's beliefs that she apparently addressed in this situation.

Honestly, the model is good, but I don't always agree with Jody's views. I'm hoping that as I continue reading that Jody will give more tools in addition to The Model. She hasn't address how to handle emotional abuse which is a real thing nor has she mentioned setting boundaries. Now I acknowledge that might not be something she planned to give tools for in her book, but she should at least mention that those do exist and that she is not talking about those type of situation. I recommend that she briefly explains what a toxic person/relationship looks like or characteristics of such. Maybe even give a few references to other books so people can look there for answers.

We can layer negative/positive emotions. (Guilt - when we blame ourselves for a situation. Worry + Guilt + Frustration = Pain)
(Excited + Gratitude= Joy)

Decisions I made in the past.
Thought: I can make a different choice anytime I want.

Don't ask myself: "How can I get that person to behave better?" Instead ask "Who do I want to be now?"

Judgement is only useful if we are truly using it to protect ourselves in some way. Otherwise judgment separates us from one another, it doesn't control the subject.

Oh that goes back to a point Jody made earlier in the book to just ignore negative things others say like you would if they in a different language or if you didn't hear them. However, you did understand what they said and you did hear them. They were trying to make a connection with you. It just wasn't a positive connection. Maybe it was a trigger to a negative past experience or maybe the person is toxic. If the person truly didn't mean any harm then explaining to them how you feel when that thing is said or done won't hurt your relationship. We miss interprete each other a lot, but also if it's a repeated offense from that person than it needs to be talked about it or you need to put down boundaries.

Ok finally pg 70-71 Jody addresses not tolerating abuse. Although I would have liked it if she had gone more in depth of the characteristics of physical and verbal abuse. Also since this is a Latter Day Saint focus book, I would want common issues that we see happen in a church setting addressed in this book. Things like twisting doctrine or using leadership position to manipulate others and how they make decisions. Some believe "stick and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you."

Why do I want something or change something? Ask myself deep questions to figure out if it's based on a belief in abundance (positive feelings like love and excitement) or scarcity (negative feelings like fear, lack). Positive beliefs/feelings will lead to more positive results.
Be in awe of the world I created And stop looking to others for proof that my life is enough.

When receiving advice, adapt the advice to my own style. When people are giving me unsolicited advice,ask myself if they are someone I trust. Are they someone I want to emulate? Are they happy and at peace with their life?

Heavenly Father gave us commandments which he wants us to obey. But he knows we'll sin sometimes. He loves us just that much. So he gave us a gift to make this plan work.
Avoiding shaming children, spouse and myself. Shame leads to addiction, depression, violence, aggression, bullying, suicide and eating disorders.

Let go off baggage or false beliefs that pull ups down or don't lead us to our destination. Godly sorrow is not an intense, shame filled, self loathing depression. It's not "I'm sorry, I'm terrible". It is, "I'm sorry...that's not who I am." Godly sorrow is a recognition that the way you acted is not who you really are bc all "bad" behavior is based in fear; and you are not fear. You are made in God's image, and God is love.
Godly sorrow inspires change and hope through Christ. Worldly sorrow pulls us down, extinguishes hope and persuades us to give in to further temptations. True repentance is about transformation, not torture or torment.