Going Wilde: How I Became the Woman I Was Meant to Be by Creating a Woman I’m Not

by Jessica Wilde

Social media gave Jessica Wilde a way out of poverty and hardship. Homeless at sixteen, married and broke at nineteen, she forged a new life as a “cam girl”, eventually creating an alter ego who became an Instagram celebrity.

That success came at a steep price. Her online avatar ruined relationship and saved her own self-esteem. In her memoir, Wilde explores the toxic nature of social media and reveals that true happiness lies far beyond the “like” button.

Genres: Nonfiction

222 pages, Paperback

First published October 14, 2021

About the author

Jessica Wilde is a writer, social media influencer, businesswoman, and model. Homeless at sixteen, married at nineteen, and a mother at twenty, Wilde escaped her life of poverty by becoming a “cam girl.” She went on to become an Instagram celebrity with more than million followers. She has posed for the covers of every major national and international tattoo publication, and is currently the host of Inked magazine’s annual cover girl competition. She lives in the small Canadian town of Kelowna, British Columbia, with her daughter Izzy, and Staffordshire terrier, Sophie.

Reviews

[Alicia Bayer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a surprisingly well written autobiography. Either Wilde had a great ghost writer or she's an excellent writer, which would be all the more impressive since she describes a real lack of childhood education. The book covers her sad, neglected and abusive childhood, terrible events in her teens, her early pregnancy and marriage, dysfunctional relationships with her mother and men, and her rise to fame in camming, the tattoo world, modeling and Instagram.

I really related to aspects of her terrible victimization as a child and teen, as I lived through similar abuses despite the differences in details. Wilde is very honest about everything she's been through and about her own weaknesses. I found it refreshing that she doesn't paint herself as some kind of perfect person. I was surprised at how she wrote about some people though, particularly her adoptive mother. I can't see that relationship surviving after this book is published. She doesn't name names with most of the men shes writes about and they'll be happy for that, as she paints most of them in pretty poor lights too, though she is pretty kind when writing about her first husband and the love that got away.

I wish the book would have photos, both of her "before" and during her rise to fame. She is known for her looks, after all, and it would have been an added plus to see the transformation she describes. It also felt like the story ended before it should have, that it would have been better written after another ten years when things like what to do after Instagram and finding the partner she yearns for would have come to fruition. It really feels like Act One. That said, this is an interesting read that really gives you insight into the woman behind the name.

Note: On Goodreads, this book is incorrectly grouped with another author named Jessica Wilde. The publication team needs to set up her own Goodreads author page so it can be connected to the correct author.

I read a digital ARC of this book for review.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a well written memoir of Jessica Wilde, so well written the pages flew and I don’t EVER read non fiction! I commend this young woman on so many levels; telling her truth, overcoming abuse, hardship, poverty as well as striving to provide a good lifestyle for herself and her daughter, for working on her mental health, being honest with herself and her failings and short comings, and for never giving up. This is a powerful and inspirational story of overcoming and redemption.

Thank you to Netgalley, Rogue Press, and Jessica Wilde for this eARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Kristin F · Rating 2 out of 5]

I honestly don't remember requesting this ARC, but I'm still grateful that Rogue Press allowed me to read this memoir in exchange for an honest review.

Jessica Wilde (nee Tiffany) works throughout this piece to escape poverty and build a better life for herself and her daughter. After a series of rock bottom moments, she discovers through an acquaintance the world of being a cam girl (or "camming"). The whole premise of taking the reins of your own sexuality and using it for your own gain was a take I was interested in reading as it isn't one you see in book (or at least memoir) form very often. However, I did have some pretty big issues with the book that lead me to not enjoy my time spent reading it.

One of the biggest issues I had with the book was the way that Jessica treats others. While she does admit how badly she treats others in the whole narrative of her life, she does it over and over again and it becomes very, for lack of a better phrase, "woe is me" after a while. There is some self-reflection, particularly near the end of the book, but it seems like she never truly learns her lesson, so to speak, of how to treat people.

The second thing I had an issue with was simply the fact that this book showcases how much power and, well, influence that influencers have on the population. It's frustrating to read about someone who is living a carefully constructed narrative, making loads of money, and still not seeming entirely grateful for what they've got. It was quest after quest for the perfect partner (as a hopeless romantic myself, I get that) with some good old fashioned vanity and plastic surgery thrown in. She does, admittedly, talk about how everything that she posts online is highly curated and not her real day to day life but it falls flat and seems disingenuous at times when in the next breath it's a story about flying halfway across the world to participate in a video shoot based on something you made up.

I would also warn other readers that there is mention of sexual assault and abuse, so if that is a topic you are sensitive of I would skip this read.

Thank you again to NetGalley and Rogue Press for allowing me access to the ARC.

[Jane Ridgewood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a sucker for a memoir and whenever I see someone I’m even vaguely familiar with putting one out, there’s a good chance I’ll read it at some point. Case and point, Instagram influencer and tattooed model, Jessica Wilde. I can’t say I was super knowledgeable of the model and influencer beyond what social media provided to me on occasion, but still it caught my attention when the almighty Amazon algorithm opted to suggest her book. Inspiration struck and just a couple days later (thank you Prime) I had a physical copy of the book in my hands.

To be honest, I didn’t expect much. I didn’t know much about the author except she was a model and social media influencer. Algorithms and what-not put her face in front of my eyes enough times that I knew her name and a tiny piece of her career. Well… the visual social side of it. The airbrushed, nipped, and tucked version. So imagine my pleasant surprise that right from the get-go in “Going Wilde” does Jessica dive right into some nitty gritty beginnings. Meeting up with a frenemy to buy a used stroller with essentially the last of her cash. Soon diving into details about a marriage she openly admits she didn’t treat right.

Wilde’s openness was another surprise. The book doesn’t sell you a polished version of social media stardom. It truly gave an insight on good and bad times. Jessica very openly talks about her incredibly humble and unusual beginnings. Trigger warning, she was abused in various ways throughout her youth and really her adult relationships. Though she doesn’t dive into too much detail, it’s still incredibly heartbreaking what she had to endure and experience. It’s also incredibly amazing that she managed to pull herself out of what could have easily been a dead end path and created her own brand, business, and stability for her daughter and herself.

A refreshing twist compared to a lot of memoirs I’ve ready, the author actually seems to hold herself accountable for her actions. As well, she pulls back the curtain on social media and the polished lie so many believe to be true. Jessica Wilde is a fantasy on the surface, but a real person behind the scenes and “Going Wilde” is a great sneak peek into who that real person is.

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
I wasn't sure how good this book would really be but it's actually really good. I was hoping it wouldn't be shallow and immature but it certainly wasn't. Jessica Wilde writes with such honest and openness. She doesn't blame anyone but herself for her many mistakes she's made in life. She definitely falls in "love" or what she thinks is love, and then has to unravel herself from these bad relationships. Over the course of her book, she does some growing up and learns a bit from past mistakes, although she does make the same ones for quite a while. No judgement from me, as long as she and her daughter are safe and she learns what not to do.
I can't even imagine how difficult it is to be born from a teen mom who reluctantly adopts out her daughter to a could who she seems perfect for her baby. And the for Jessica's adoptive parents to have a child of their own so Jessica gets shoved to the side and doesn't really fit in with this family anymore. Then her adoptive parents divorce and she bounces between her mom's home and her dad and stepmom's family, where she continues to not fit in.
This is a well written book that tells the honest struggles of trying to grow up and have good self esteem but also shows the people we see and follow on social media and other websites, are definitely not always who they pretend to be. There's often a lot more going on behind the scenes and what we see isn't the most authentic side of these people.

[Claire · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some life decisions have both tremendously good and awfully bad consequences.

Meet Samantha, Tiffany and Jessica – the three personas of the one person who is Jessica Wilde. And this woman is a rather complicated soul. Going Wilde is a rags to riches kind of story but it’s a bumpy ride.

Wilde starts out life abandoned before being adopted. When her adopted parents split up, staying with her adopted mother isn’t the easiest. She spirals into a reckless adolescence before discovering camming. Now this was a new term to me but I knew the concept and I had mixed emotions for her decision. She is desperate to provide for her family but how desperate can one person be?

The “like” button is the crack of social media.

Wilde talks of her switch from camming to Insta. The whole concept of portraying a perfect life – I’ll admit, I’m guilty of that. Posting photos with a cheery narrative whilst in the background I’ve spent most the day at war with the world. But then some days that mask slips and the narrative hints at something else. But Wilde never lets the mask slip.

Despite the camming and sultry Insta profile, Wilde talks extensively about her desire for a real connection. For someone to want the real her, not the one on the camera.

Normally my memoir reading takes me to someone famous; admittedly this woman has a massive following (over 900,000 followers on Insta) but not someone I’d heard of. The blurb for Going Wilde piqued my interest and I was glued to my kindle, would Jessica find peace and love?

[ambersedai · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review thanks to NetGalley. I did enjoy this autobiography of Jessica Wilde. I actually knew of her and follow her on Instagram, but I obviously didn’t know she was in the process of writing a book. I knew she was a cam girl but I didn’t know her life story. I only gave it 3 stars because I really didn’t care for her “victim, woe-is-me” attitude throughout the book. And how she’s a bit obsessed with finding some dream guy. I get she’s a hopeless romantic, but I think it’d be even better if she was actually secure with just being independent and really focusing on her little family and herself. A lot of Trigger Warnings for sexual assault. Had a nice ending to it though. This novel releases October 15,2021.

#GoingWilde #NetGalley

[Janilyn Kocher · Rating 3 out of 5]

I knew nothing about Jessica Wilde before I read this book. I had heard about cam girls and camming through a couple of novels I’d read over the last year, but had never read about someone doing it in real life. Wilde has made her fair share of mistakes, mostly in the relationship department, but I can commend her ambition for a better life for herself and her child. I did have a lot of sympathy for her ex husband, whom she treated shabbily, and she fully admits to that in the book. It’s an interesting read about a lifestyle and building her brand on Instagram and YouTube. Thanks to Rouge Press and NetGalley for the advance read.

[Andie Vleeming · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really great read about someone local to me. Her story resembles a lot of the things I’ve been through, some things I’m thankful I never experienced. Overall it keeps you engaged and captivated to learn more about this woman who’s not what you see on social media in a good way.

[Paige Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written more uniquely vivid/personally than plenty of memoirs but not great at context and I don’t wanna hear that she did this for her kid or her blaming her decisions on society/money even pre-porn.

[Fern Prince · Rating 4 out of 5]

Going into this, I was not familiar with Jessica Wilde, but the cover and book description was enough to intrigue me. The book charts Jessica's fight to climb out of poverty and create a better life for herself and her young daughter; first through camming, and later modelling, while navigating the fickle waters of social media. The narrative is well-paced, with each chapter leaving you wanting more, so it's certainly something you could sit down and read over a day or two, and I will admit I was somewhat surprised by how well written it is overall. It's worth noting that there are multiple mentions of abuse and sexual assault, so some readers may find this quite difficult to read. Fans of Jessica's will no doubt enjoy finding out more about her past and current life, and anyone with an interest in social media and/or influencers can learn a few things from this memoir.

I rated this 4/5, only because I felt it seemed slightly unfinished, like Jessica still had more to say - though I suppose this sets up the possibility of a follow up in 5 or 10 years time.

Thank you to the publisher and Net Galley for providing an Advance Reviewer Copy of this book.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Peek Behind the Curtain! An honest look at real life and what we put forward on social media. Her story is relatable even for those of us who are not famous. A great read.

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was written very well and kept me interested until the end. Definitely recommend

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a fan of hers, especially if you have been since her YouTube days, this is an amazing read!

[Fern Prince · Rating 4 out of 5]

Going into this, I was not familiar with Jessica Wilde, but the cover and book description was enough to intrigue me. The book charts Jessica's fight to climb out of poverty and create a better life for herself and her young daughter; first through camming, and later modelling, while navigating the fickle waters of social media. The narrative is well-paced, with each chapter leaving you wanting more, so it's certainly something you could sit down and read over a day or two, and I will admit I was somewhat surprised by how well written it is overall. It's worth noting that there are multiple mentions of abuse and sexual assault, so some readers may find this quite difficult to read. Fans of Jessica's will no doubt enjoy finding out more about her past and current life, and anyone with an interest in social media and/or influencers can learn a few things from this memoir.

I rated this 4/5, only because I felt it seemed slightly unfinished, like Jessica still had more to say - though I suppose this sets up the possibility of a follow up in 5 or 10 years time.

[Jason Jardine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful read, (sometimes) harrowing journey of perseverance & determination

Pulling back the curtain of both the online cam-world and social-media, Jessica deftly brings you into her world. It's an easy, approachable read, intelligently written and her story is often appalling in the circumstances and events that she describes. But her survival, I think, is what makes it admirable, even within a misunderstood world.

[Nicole Vigdal · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good look into her life and her story. Really shows what she has gone though to formulate who she is now. I loved to see the love for her daughter and what a great mother she is. Wishing her all the best in her next love adventures! (please drop the douchbags)