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Eat, Gay, Love
**LONGLISTED FOR THE POLARI FIRST BOOK PRIZE**
'You've never read a travel memoir like this before'
The Sunday Times , 'Pride Culture Guide'
'Sweet and fun, with real emotional depth and a rousing, feisty spirit'
Matt Cain
***
In the spring of 2012, Calum finds himself single again after his relationship of six years comes to an end.
Heartbroken, unhappy and unsure of what to do next, he leaves the hometown he has been in all his life to embark on a journey that takes him all around the world, from teaching in a school on the outskirts of Rome to exploring the sex clubs of Berlin, to raising tigers in an animal sanctuary deep in the jungles of Thailand. Along the way, he meets LGBT+ people from all walks of life and every part of the rainbow - from an Italian teenager struggling with a homophobic father to a kathoey navigating life as a trans person in Thailand, to a young HIV-positive man living on the streets of London.
Their individual stories, not only of hardship and sorrow but also of profound strength and hope, show the breadth and depth of queer life and experience, shedding light on themes such as homophobia, sexual violence, marriage equality and gender identity. Through these meetings and friendships, Calum not only finds the encouragement to embrace life after heartbreak, but also discovers a beautiful, loving global community who support and uplift him through the best and worst moments of his time on the road.
A travel memoir with a difference, Eat, Gay, Love is a celebration of the power of community and a personal tribute to the extraordinary lives of LGBT+ people everywhere in the world.
'You've never read a travel memoir like this before'
The Sunday Times , 'Pride Culture Guide'
'Sweet and fun, with real emotional depth and a rousing, feisty spirit'
Matt Cain
***
In the spring of 2012, Calum finds himself single again after his relationship of six years comes to an end.
Heartbroken, unhappy and unsure of what to do next, he leaves the hometown he has been in all his life to embark on a journey that takes him all around the world, from teaching in a school on the outskirts of Rome to exploring the sex clubs of Berlin, to raising tigers in an animal sanctuary deep in the jungles of Thailand. Along the way, he meets LGBT+ people from all walks of life and every part of the rainbow - from an Italian teenager struggling with a homophobic father to a kathoey navigating life as a trans person in Thailand, to a young HIV-positive man living on the streets of London.
Their individual stories, not only of hardship and sorrow but also of profound strength and hope, show the breadth and depth of queer life and experience, shedding light on themes such as homophobia, sexual violence, marriage equality and gender identity. Through these meetings and friendships, Calum not only finds the encouragement to embrace life after heartbreak, but also discovers a beautiful, loving global community who support and uplift him through the best and worst moments of his time on the road.
A travel memoir with a difference, Eat, Gay, Love is a celebration of the power of community and a personal tribute to the extraordinary lives of LGBT+ people everywhere in the world.
304 pages, Paperback
First published July 9, 2020
22 people are currently reading
1436 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews
September 13, 2020
First of all, this is a very cute and clever title. And it describes the book perfectly. There's nice food, there's love in all forms, and there's lots of gay.
I didn't know the author prior to the book's release and was excited when I was sent a copy of it for review purposes. It seemed like the perfect summery beach read with a generous pinch of queerness which was exactly what I needed. Basically, we follow Calum from Italy to Germany, India, Thailand, Spain and London while he looks for answers about love and a purpose in life. The story includes but isn't limited to fun anecdotes about drag queens, crushes on Italian boys that look a little like Timothée Chalamet, encounters with baby tigers, and friendships with queer people from all over the world. It also discusses more serious topics like LGBTQ+ rights in different countries and sexual assault, but overall the tone is light and the pace is quick.
The only criticism I have is that sometimes things felt a tad too well-rounded. I think this one moment where Calum is on a flight to Ibiza describes it best: The whole flight is basically a huge party
but the author stays firmly in his seat with the seat belt on. And it seems as if he wanted to say, look, I'm a responsible and good guy. Which I never doubted in the first place. So what I'm saying is, I wish this book had a little more edge to it, more unapologetic human flaws. We see glimpses of that at times, but it felt as if the author had one foot hovering over the brakes while writing this book.
I must say I really appreciated the style of writing and would love to read more from him in the future. Maybe some gay YA? I'd be down for that.
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I didn't know the author prior to the book's release and was excited when I was sent a copy of it for review purposes. It seemed like the perfect summery beach read with a generous pinch of queerness which was exactly what I needed. Basically, we follow Calum from Italy to Germany, India, Thailand, Spain and London while he looks for answers about love and a purpose in life. The story includes but isn't limited to fun anecdotes about drag queens, crushes on Italian boys that look a little like Timothée Chalamet, encounters with baby tigers, and friendships with queer people from all over the world. It also discusses more serious topics like LGBTQ+ rights in different countries and sexual assault, but overall the tone is light and the pace is quick.
The only criticism I have is that sometimes things felt a tad too well-rounded. I think this one moment where Calum is on a flight to Ibiza describes it best: The whole flight is basically a huge party
but the author stays firmly in his seat with the seat belt on. And it seems as if he wanted to say, look, I'm a responsible and good guy. Which I never doubted in the first place. So what I'm saying is, I wish this book had a little more edge to it, more unapologetic human flaws. We see glimpses of that at times, but it felt as if the author had one foot hovering over the brakes while writing this book.
I must say I really appreciated the style of writing and would love to read more from him in the future. Maybe some gay YA? I'd be down for that.
Find more of my books on Instagram
April 19, 2020
Wow, I really loved and enjoyed my experience reading this book!
TW: Drug Use, Mention of Suicide, Descriptive Drug Overdose, Discussions around Homophobia and intolerance
"Things are indeed improving and yet there still isn't a single country in the world where LGBT+ people are treated as equals in every aspect of life - whether that's same-sex couples being unable to adopt in Italy; gay marriage being prohibited in India; or trans people still being denied the right to legally change their gender in Thailand."
This book is Calum McSwiggan's travel memoir where he candidly tells us beautiful and horrifying stories alike about his experiences in his travels, with specific attention on the LGBTQIAP+ community around the world. The book in itself reads pretty easily, the writing is very light and easy to digest. I loved how candidly the book was written and how we were able to experience a lot of these stories with Calum through the pages of the book, whether it be the interesting and equally amazing people he met along the way, to very important discussions and exposure about LGBT+ issues around the world, to his experiences in German Sex Club, or being scarred by a baby tiger in Thailand!
The book was at times funny, but most of the time it was enlightening and adventure filled! It really emphasised how beautifully diverse the LGBT+ community is and what you can learn from different cultures around the world. The main message that I got out of this book, was overall just being proud of who you are, and where you are.
The book really discussed important topics specific to LGBT+ people, from drugs and suicide, to sex and sexual health and education, to coming out and exploring your gender identity and issues regarding HIV/Aids.
But it also exposes you to the beautiful queer life across the world, and the unique challenges LGBT+ people face in countries like India and Thailand. Reading this book, it really felt like you were getting to know Calum and the people he came across and surrounded himself with.
A beautiful story of self-discovery, pride and wanderlust adventure! I highly recommend you pick this one up, I adored it and am so glad I read it!!
TW: Drug Use, Mention of Suicide, Descriptive Drug Overdose, Discussions around Homophobia and intolerance
"Things are indeed improving and yet there still isn't a single country in the world where LGBT+ people are treated as equals in every aspect of life - whether that's same-sex couples being unable to adopt in Italy; gay marriage being prohibited in India; or trans people still being denied the right to legally change their gender in Thailand."
This book is Calum McSwiggan's travel memoir where he candidly tells us beautiful and horrifying stories alike about his experiences in his travels, with specific attention on the LGBTQIAP+ community around the world. The book in itself reads pretty easily, the writing is very light and easy to digest. I loved how candidly the book was written and how we were able to experience a lot of these stories with Calum through the pages of the book, whether it be the interesting and equally amazing people he met along the way, to very important discussions and exposure about LGBT+ issues around the world, to his experiences in German Sex Club, or being scarred by a baby tiger in Thailand!
The book was at times funny, but most of the time it was enlightening and adventure filled! It really emphasised how beautifully diverse the LGBT+ community is and what you can learn from different cultures around the world. The main message that I got out of this book, was overall just being proud of who you are, and where you are.
The book really discussed important topics specific to LGBT+ people, from drugs and suicide, to sex and sexual health and education, to coming out and exploring your gender identity and issues regarding HIV/Aids.
But it also exposes you to the beautiful queer life across the world, and the unique challenges LGBT+ people face in countries like India and Thailand. Reading this book, it really felt like you were getting to know Calum and the people he came across and surrounded himself with.
A beautiful story of self-discovery, pride and wanderlust adventure! I highly recommend you pick this one up, I adored it and am so glad I read it!!
October 17, 2020
Thank you to NetGalley and Hodder & Stoughton for an advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review.
Prior to reading this book, I'd seen some YouTube videos of Calum McSwiggan a few years ago when he frequented my favourite youtubers channels. I think it truly shows that from a youtube audience perspective you really don't know what goes on in somebodies personal life and this is the perfect example. On youtube Calum has always been presented as this lovely, wholesome and positive person and whilst I still have this opinion of him, I've seen deeper into his background and I still believe he's one of the nicest people on the internet.
This book delves so deeply into Calum's life and the life of other LGBTQ+ people and how supportive the community can be. There are so many lovely anecdotes in this book as Calum truly finds himself and who he is, after years of not really knowing what or who he wanted to be and this book was honestly such a good book. I couldn't recommend it more.
Prior to reading this book, I'd seen some YouTube videos of Calum McSwiggan a few years ago when he frequented my favourite youtubers channels. I think it truly shows that from a youtube audience perspective you really don't know what goes on in somebodies personal life and this is the perfect example. On youtube Calum has always been presented as this lovely, wholesome and positive person and whilst I still have this opinion of him, I've seen deeper into his background and I still believe he's one of the nicest people on the internet.
This book delves so deeply into Calum's life and the life of other LGBTQ+ people and how supportive the community can be. There are so many lovely anecdotes in this book as Calum truly finds himself and who he is, after years of not really knowing what or who he wanted to be and this book was honestly such a good book. I couldn't recommend it more.
April 6, 2020
*ARC from Netgalley*
I'm so very happy I lost my nonfiction virginity with this book, this memoir. It was emotional, funny, important and full of hope. From the very first pages you know you're in for a very wild and queer ride. I've never read a memoir so I really didn't know what to expect. I got a story of a young man trying to find himself in the world while traveling. He knows he's privileged to be able to just leave everything behind after a break up, and just travel, working a bit, but mostly just experiencing all kinds of lives.
What I love the most is how each LGBT member of the community just kind of attracts the other. Wherever Calum went, he found someone dealing with coming out, finding out they may not be straight, being in a relationship, closeted because of their countries' laws, lovely drag queen, and many more. It was like a videogame in which the character needs to complete certain tasks in certain places and he'll be given advice or he'll learn something new and important from the experience to just keep going forward.
At first I envied Calum so much, going around the world, meeting interesting people, gaining adventure points and stories he could tell others. I wish I did just that. Then little by little I realized he was also very lost, like many others, lonely even, in need of guidance. Aren't we all? It hit hard, close to home. He also experienced something really bad and also something pretty scary, and I was so heartbroken.
I liked how Calum pointed out every single flaw in each countries' system towards LGBT+ people. He talked openly with the locals and got insights he would never could have gotten otherwise. Even where you think all is very openminded, there's something hidden. Huge steps forwards have been made, a few backwards, but the path is till very long and in need of everyone's voices to be truly equal. I loved how he pointed out everything he learned during his travels. How much there's still to achieve.
How awesome is to be bitten by a baby tiger during your first day of work? I truly liked this memoir. It's both fun and sad, light and heavy, makes you feel lonely among people you know, but also widely accepted among strangers. It gives you a beautiful sense of community, even among people who barely know each other.
Highly recommended. To both nonfiction fans and not.
I'm so very happy I lost my nonfiction virginity with this book, this memoir. It was emotional, funny, important and full of hope. From the very first pages you know you're in for a very wild and queer ride. I've never read a memoir so I really didn't know what to expect. I got a story of a young man trying to find himself in the world while traveling. He knows he's privileged to be able to just leave everything behind after a break up, and just travel, working a bit, but mostly just experiencing all kinds of lives.
What I love the most is how each LGBT member of the community just kind of attracts the other. Wherever Calum went, he found someone dealing with coming out, finding out they may not be straight, being in a relationship, closeted because of their countries' laws, lovely drag queen, and many more. It was like a videogame in which the character needs to complete certain tasks in certain places and he'll be given advice or he'll learn something new and important from the experience to just keep going forward.
At first I envied Calum so much, going around the world, meeting interesting people, gaining adventure points and stories he could tell others. I wish I did just that. Then little by little I realized he was also very lost, like many others, lonely even, in need of guidance. Aren't we all? It hit hard, close to home. He also experienced something really bad and also something pretty scary, and I was so heartbroken.
I liked how Calum pointed out every single flaw in each countries' system towards LGBT+ people. He talked openly with the locals and got insights he would never could have gotten otherwise. Even where you think all is very openminded, there's something hidden. Huge steps forwards have been made, a few backwards, but the path is till very long and in need of everyone's voices to be truly equal. I loved how he pointed out everything he learned during his travels. How much there's still to achieve.
How awesome is to be bitten by a baby tiger during your first day of work? I truly liked this memoir. It's both fun and sad, light and heavy, makes you feel lonely among people you know, but also widely accepted among strangers. It gives you a beautiful sense of community, even among people who barely know each other.
Highly recommended. To both nonfiction fans and not.
May 23, 2021
A beautiful book that really moved me. The lgbt+ community is so special and its presence all over the world is such a comfort to so many. Even in palaces where being queer may be illegal, there is hope and their is others. Calum does an excellent job of telling stories from his travels without making it about him. This book is about all the amazing humans who have inspired him. This book has made me want to speak out even more in the face of injustice and most importantly to remember that to someone I might be that queer person who gives them hope by simply existing as my queer self. We will not be quiet, we will not hide and we won't back down. Equality not simply acceptance.
June 4, 2025
An easy read in terms of writing style, but I felt it somehow repetitive: Calum arrives in a new place, immediately meets a gay person - they're usually gorgeous - and it goes from there (oh and he unknowingly arrives when it's Pride in three different places).
While I appreciated the journey of discovery, I didn't find the journey compelling. Perhaps as an 'elder millennial' (yeesh) who has travelled a lot, I found myself rolling my eyes as Calum stumbled into good fortune over and over again, in very well-beaten travel destinations.
The book has important messages, but simply wasn't my favourite to read. Perhaps the Scorpio moon in me, and the flighty Sagittarius rising, just needs a little bit more intensity and grittiness in my adventures. In fact come to think of it, I found this very light almost - more as if it was written for a straight audience wanting to understand a gay travel experience. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's just not me.
Worthy of a read if you're looking for a travel memoir with an LGBTQ+ theme.
While I appreciated the journey of discovery, I didn't find the journey compelling. Perhaps as an 'elder millennial' (yeesh) who has travelled a lot, I found myself rolling my eyes as Calum stumbled into good fortune over and over again, in very well-beaten travel destinations.
The book has important messages, but simply wasn't my favourite to read. Perhaps the Scorpio moon in me, and the flighty Sagittarius rising, just needs a little bit more intensity and grittiness in my adventures. In fact come to think of it, I found this very light almost - more as if it was written for a straight audience wanting to understand a gay travel experience. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's just not me.
Worthy of a read if you're looking for a travel memoir with an LGBTQ+ theme.
March 17, 2023
3.5 stars. After a romantic relationship suddenly ends, Calum leaves his home behind in search of distraction in new locales, namely Italy, Germany, India, Thailand, Spain, and London. Our narrator is young (20s), noticeably privileged, and appears to be firmly-planted in the pride stage of Cass’ identity model. As Calum travels, he juxtaposes the myriad ways prejudice and homophobia are expressed in each country. He also embarks on some truly remarkable experiences and seems to endure much personal growth. Overall, I really enjoyed reading about his adventures and reflections, though I did wish for a bit more meaning/closure/finesse at the conclusion.
July 14, 2020
I was both excited and nervous going in.
But Callum's book is beautiful, honest and a lovely look at his travels.
There are some harrowing stuff in this book.
Trigger warning: Drug use, Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, harassment and violence.
But despite all that, Callum manages to have a unique and positive outlook on his life. I just want to hug both him and his book.
But Callum's book is beautiful, honest and a lovely look at his travels.
There are some harrowing stuff in this book.
Trigger warning: Drug use, Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, harassment and violence.
But despite all that, Callum manages to have a unique and positive outlook on his life. I just want to hug both him and his book.
May 28, 2021
An interesting travel book about the LGBTQ+ people around the world. The first story in Italy was ten time better than Call Me By Your Name.
July 1, 2020
“Gilbert Baker designed that flag in hope of a brighter tomorrow, and it’s a flag that still brings together our community and unifies us under the colours of the rainbow. To some, it may just be a few colours twisting in the wind, but to me it’s a reminder of the millions of incredible people that our community is made up of”
Well did I get more from this book than I expected to get! Callum Mcswiggan takes us on his own personal queer journey around the world to find who he wants to be and what he wants to achieve. With tales from Italy, Berlin, India, Thailand, Ibiza and some more in between we get an insight to how it feels to be queer in these countries and get a glimpse of the beautiful (and very very ugly) characters that he meets along the way.
This was such an honest, funny, educational and downright inspiring read from cover to cover which I would fully recommend to any queer person out there who is feeling a little bit lost or who would like to learn a little bit more about our culture without it being too overpowering.
I honestly didn’t expect it to horrify me at some points as much as it did and at others make me sob uncontrollably with joy (mostly when his parents were involved). It makes you sit back and think of the privelages we have in our lives here in the UK where in other countries being LGBTQ+ is still frowned upon.
Reading this I definitely felt very proud to be a part of this messed up community of ours, and it is so true no matter where you go in the world as long as you find that rainbow flag there will be someone there with a great big smile and a helping hand.
Well did I get more from this book than I expected to get! Callum Mcswiggan takes us on his own personal queer journey around the world to find who he wants to be and what he wants to achieve. With tales from Italy, Berlin, India, Thailand, Ibiza and some more in between we get an insight to how it feels to be queer in these countries and get a glimpse of the beautiful (and very very ugly) characters that he meets along the way.
This was such an honest, funny, educational and downright inspiring read from cover to cover which I would fully recommend to any queer person out there who is feeling a little bit lost or who would like to learn a little bit more about our culture without it being too overpowering.
I honestly didn’t expect it to horrify me at some points as much as it did and at others make me sob uncontrollably with joy (mostly when his parents were involved). It makes you sit back and think of the privelages we have in our lives here in the UK where in other countries being LGBTQ+ is still frowned upon.
Reading this I definitely felt very proud to be a part of this messed up community of ours, and it is so true no matter where you go in the world as long as you find that rainbow flag there will be someone there with a great big smile and a helping hand.
February 11, 2022
Loved this book. It not only tells you facts about the community, it makes you feel why this community and why learning about all the struggles is so important. It makes you feel happy, hopeless, angry, sad, and hopeful.
August 25, 2024
A travel memoir about finding and supporting queer communities around the world.
April 12, 2024
A very easy read and enjoyable
January 23, 2023
Entertaining & amusing - loved reading about his travels and his description of gay clubs left me with a feeling of nostalgia for my youth! Another great example of how travel can inspire you, give you more tolerance of others and hives an opportunity to meet lifelong friends. A 3.5 from me
May 27, 2022
A part que gairebé un 70% del llibre és acknowledging que a altres llocs del món les persones LGTBIQ+ no tenen els mateixos drets ni experiències que a UK - que en principi pot semblar bé, però no com a conclusió de cada capitol i menys considerant que el Regne Unit sigui la panacea. L'altre 30% del llibre és una barreja d'exotitzar les cultures que visita i white-saviour-ism.
April 14, 2023
The first half is okay, but it does get a little boring and unrealistic. I mean most of his experiences doesn’t happen to everyone, especially not for queer PoC. He is very privileged, and by looking at his IG, he takes full advantage of this.
It is a nice read and it’s nice that there is no tragedy like with most queer stories.
It is a nice read and it’s nice that there is no tragedy like with most queer stories.
June 12, 2022
This was a quick and mostly light-hearted read. The writing is smooth and Calum's travel accounts are quite entertaining. They are sometimes touching, and offer insight into an array of personal experiences that I found interesting.
The title makes a lot of sense - 'Eat, Pray, Love' is a favourite book of the author (and of mine as well). In this case 'Gay' substituting 'Pray' does mark one of the book's strengths, and ironically one of its weaknesses as well. Of course, the gay context was the main reason I bought this book, and while I enjoyed learning about Berlin's gay underground clubs etc., the gay partying is lacking the depth that the spiritual aspect of 'Eat, Pray, Love' did provide.
Given the title, one is invited to compare the two books, and EGL does not match the complexity, depth, self-reflection and humor of EPL. To me the latter had a major impact on my spiritual journey back in the day, and set the bar very high. I was missing some more profound introspection in EGL and did eventually grow a little tired of reading about the protagonist getting drunk. I did like the fact, that 'Love' refers not primarily to romantic love, but celebrates the friendship kind of love and the LGBT community at large, but sometimes the activist voice came across a little too politically correct for my taste.
All in all though EGL makes for a worthwhile and enjoyable read.
The title makes a lot of sense - 'Eat, Pray, Love' is a favourite book of the author (and of mine as well). In this case 'Gay' substituting 'Pray' does mark one of the book's strengths, and ironically one of its weaknesses as well. Of course, the gay context was the main reason I bought this book, and while I enjoyed learning about Berlin's gay underground clubs etc., the gay partying is lacking the depth that the spiritual aspect of 'Eat, Pray, Love' did provide.
Given the title, one is invited to compare the two books, and EGL does not match the complexity, depth, self-reflection and humor of EPL. To me the latter had a major impact on my spiritual journey back in the day, and set the bar very high. I was missing some more profound introspection in EGL and did eventually grow a little tired of reading about the protagonist getting drunk. I did like the fact, that 'Love' refers not primarily to romantic love, but celebrates the friendship kind of love and the LGBT community at large, but sometimes the activist voice came across a little too politically correct for my taste.
All in all though EGL makes for a worthwhile and enjoyable read.
January 3, 2022
I picked this booked up based 100% on title and cover alone. I don’t think I even really read what it was about and I had no previous awareness at all of who the author was.
I really, really wanted to love this book.
Sadly though, I didn’t. It was easy to read and nice - probably not a good word to use but it often just felt nice and lacked any real depth.
I think the author aimed to bring together a collection of his travel stories as a celebration of the power of community and a tribute to the lives of LGBT+ people across the world - some of the stories were wonderful & endearing and there were really important stories - but it just all fell a bit flat. Sometimes it all seemed a bit too perfect to be believable and felt instead very contrived.
Its not an in-depth exploration or narrative of LGBT+ people and some of the issues they face travelling or a cultural exploration of LGBT+ issues and lives but it is an individual memoir that looks at the experiences of travel through the eyes of a young gay man. In it’s defence, I probably expected more than it promised to deliver.
I really, really wanted to love this book.
Sadly though, I didn’t. It was easy to read and nice - probably not a good word to use but it often just felt nice and lacked any real depth.
I think the author aimed to bring together a collection of his travel stories as a celebration of the power of community and a tribute to the lives of LGBT+ people across the world - some of the stories were wonderful & endearing and there were really important stories - but it just all fell a bit flat. Sometimes it all seemed a bit too perfect to be believable and felt instead very contrived.
Its not an in-depth exploration or narrative of LGBT+ people and some of the issues they face travelling or a cultural exploration of LGBT+ issues and lives but it is an individual memoir that looks at the experiences of travel through the eyes of a young gay man. In it’s defence, I probably expected more than it promised to deliver.
April 28, 2020
This is a beautifully emotive memoir from Calum that I think speaks to a universal experience of LGBT people: trying to find yourself in a world that has marked you as an outsider. His stories of travel and meeting LGBT people across different countries is culture shows the power, resilience and passion of a community who has (and continues) to fight just to be able to be ourselves. It’s exactly the kind of story I wish I had been able to read when I first was coming out years ago. It makes me so happy to see a book like this being published because I know how much it will mean to so many in the community. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful 🌈
August 7, 2024
Not your typical memoir and has some questionable scenes. But if you’re a part of the LGBT+ community I could not recommend this book more. It tells such a good story of finding yourself through your community. I gasped, laughed, cried, it is truly an adventure. shoutout to my ava for gifting me this
February 22, 2023
This is an exceptional memoir. It is full of ups and downs, raw with the good and bad. It gave me so much insight and hope for my life and future. I am so grateful to Calum for writing this valuable piece of queer literature.
March 11, 2025
Trite first time: after the skilled construction of Edmund White’s The Loves of My Life, a big fat dud. Calum McSwiggan’s Eat, Gay, Love is so earnestly desperate to be liked that what emerges is a Hallmark card in book form - a string of homilies so jam-packed with derivative observations and platitudinous rubbish that reading it is a queasy business.
Everyone curates to a degree, but what we would expect from a self-described memoir is something that, if it’s unencumbered by honesty or self-reflection, at least tries to be amusing. Eat, Gay, Love is none of these things - and the hommage (or as the author would no doubt say, ‘un homage’) is to Elizabeth Gilbert’s pile of emetic drivel.
Worse, this is a deceitful book, for why, when presenting a travelogue as a journey of self-discovery would an author - especially a gay author - omit their sojourn in Los Angeles, a city which exerts a certain fascination for the core audience this book is targeting? Especially when the rest reads like the ‘travel plans’ bit in a Recon profile, but with less aplomb. Could the conviction for criminal damage and pretending to be the victim of a hate crime whilst the author resided in the City of Angels have anything to do with this strange omertà? Doesn’t quite fit with the naïf abroad image and “aren’t we gays all wonderful” narrative he’s peddling.
The real puzzle though is why this book was commissioned, let alone published, when essentially it’s a very mundane set of reminiscences by someone who lacks any kind of storytelling skill, intellectual curiosity or empathy - everything revolves around Calum, who is quite a dull fellow if this is anything to go by. The writing is really quite poor, as the publisher seemingly couldn’t run to an editor, so sloppy mistakes and poor sentence construction abound. Over 300 pages, remarkably little of interest to anyone except the author and his family happens: it takes an extremely lead-footed memoirist to recall without a trace of irony a scene where he tells his latest squeeze that he’s sick of their life of sex parties, art happenings and all-day Schnapps in Berlin, and that he’s off on his travels again to find himself - in Ibiza. Reminds me of the rule on Seinfeld - no hugging, no learning. Mind you, he does have the same lover using the phrase “a soul-sucking waste of energy”, so perhaps there is some glimmer of insight after all.
I guess that in a desperate attempt to attract non-bookish Gen Zers, the publisher grabbed the first influencer/vlogger/advocate (aren’t they all?) who hoved into view, and plied him an all-you-can-eat contract. Compare it with White’s expansive, sometimes self-obsessed but always meticulous, prose, and it’s immediately obvious why this is a lousy idea. And it’d have been much better if he’d left the commas out of the title.
What the world needs now is love sweet love, and I tried hard to find a modicum to like in this, but couldn’t. The extra half mark is for the well-meaning codicil and list of helpful organisations appended. You’ll need them if you’ve waded that far.
Everyone curates to a degree, but what we would expect from a self-described memoir is something that, if it’s unencumbered by honesty or self-reflection, at least tries to be amusing. Eat, Gay, Love is none of these things - and the hommage (or as the author would no doubt say, ‘un homage’) is to Elizabeth Gilbert’s pile of emetic drivel.
Worse, this is a deceitful book, for why, when presenting a travelogue as a journey of self-discovery would an author - especially a gay author - omit their sojourn in Los Angeles, a city which exerts a certain fascination for the core audience this book is targeting? Especially when the rest reads like the ‘travel plans’ bit in a Recon profile, but with less aplomb. Could the conviction for criminal damage and pretending to be the victim of a hate crime whilst the author resided in the City of Angels have anything to do with this strange omertà? Doesn’t quite fit with the naïf abroad image and “aren’t we gays all wonderful” narrative he’s peddling.
The real puzzle though is why this book was commissioned, let alone published, when essentially it’s a very mundane set of reminiscences by someone who lacks any kind of storytelling skill, intellectual curiosity or empathy - everything revolves around Calum, who is quite a dull fellow if this is anything to go by. The writing is really quite poor, as the publisher seemingly couldn’t run to an editor, so sloppy mistakes and poor sentence construction abound. Over 300 pages, remarkably little of interest to anyone except the author and his family happens: it takes an extremely lead-footed memoirist to recall without a trace of irony a scene where he tells his latest squeeze that he’s sick of their life of sex parties, art happenings and all-day Schnapps in Berlin, and that he’s off on his travels again to find himself - in Ibiza. Reminds me of the rule on Seinfeld - no hugging, no learning. Mind you, he does have the same lover using the phrase “a soul-sucking waste of energy”, so perhaps there is some glimmer of insight after all.
I guess that in a desperate attempt to attract non-bookish Gen Zers, the publisher grabbed the first influencer/vlogger/advocate (aren’t they all?) who hoved into view, and plied him an all-you-can-eat contract. Compare it with White’s expansive, sometimes self-obsessed but always meticulous, prose, and it’s immediately obvious why this is a lousy idea. And it’d have been much better if he’d left the commas out of the title.
What the world needs now is love sweet love, and I tried hard to find a modicum to like in this, but couldn’t. The extra half mark is for the well-meaning codicil and list of helpful organisations appended. You’ll need them if you’ve waded that far.
September 21, 2024
Calum McSwiggan invites us into his thoughts during his travels and adventures.
The use of the word "memoir" gave me pause, but admiring his work on social media and in real life, my attitude was changed with his candor and full throated admissions of his travels. He was on a quest, and as in many such quests, the answer had been available to him all the time, but he could not see it without the adventures on his quest.
Across Europe and into Asia, into bars and taverns and bedrooms, Calum gives us a glimpse of his perceptions, of the beauty of the people and the land. His most precious thoughts are those of his family and the good seen in those whom he meets. Many times it would appear he was ready to settle and stay in these wonderful places, but his spirit-and sometimes his actions-did not allow that.
This is a great read, unlike some memoirs I've read, which seemed to put the writer in a position of defending his actions, of leaving out bad decisions, or making it an adventure rather than a reflection of his life. Calum has much life left to live, and this book is but a volume in that life.
His voice is perfect for this retelling. It is as if he is rediscovering his time away. It becomes narration for much of the time, with some reflection added as needed.
I strongly recommend it for those who are LGBT+ and friends, so that you can sense the need to create family among friends, of being able to have something in common with those whom you meet, and of discovering that you are richer than you thought at the beginning of your journey.
The use of the word "memoir" gave me pause, but admiring his work on social media and in real life, my attitude was changed with his candor and full throated admissions of his travels. He was on a quest, and as in many such quests, the answer had been available to him all the time, but he could not see it without the adventures on his quest.
Across Europe and into Asia, into bars and taverns and bedrooms, Calum gives us a glimpse of his perceptions, of the beauty of the people and the land. His most precious thoughts are those of his family and the good seen in those whom he meets. Many times it would appear he was ready to settle and stay in these wonderful places, but his spirit-and sometimes his actions-did not allow that.
This is a great read, unlike some memoirs I've read, which seemed to put the writer in a position of defending his actions, of leaving out bad decisions, or making it an adventure rather than a reflection of his life. Calum has much life left to live, and this book is but a volume in that life.
His voice is perfect for this retelling. It is as if he is rediscovering his time away. It becomes narration for much of the time, with some reflection added as needed.
I strongly recommend it for those who are LGBT+ and friends, so that you can sense the need to create family among friends, of being able to have something in common with those whom you meet, and of discovering that you are richer than you thought at the beginning of your journey.
May 26, 2024
A memoir and travelogue of the first decade of his gay life. Calum's first love doesn't work out despite his thinking that life with Tom was perfect until Tom was assaulted and withdrew from life that was not perfect. Off to Italy to teach and share a room with Matteo in his parent home which while welcoming and loving was not perfect. Then on to Germany and sex clubs with Jack who kept Calum at his side but the sex was with everyone else, no Calum. A get away to Ibzia where he was abused in the night by a new friend. Then on to India where he was robbed but encountered the friendship and support of the hotel owners son, VIbhor, who lived in his arranged marriage with his wife.
Needing some time to think through what he wanted in life, Calum took an animal caretaking job adjoining a Bhuddhist monastery in the depths of Thailand. Gaining some true friendships he decided it was time to return to his parents who were retired in Spain. He met a couple and became involved in their lives until their relationship imploded leaving Calum wracked with guilt and sadness. Finally to London, where he found the gay community mothered by Drag Queens and found his place in the world, protesting and urging acceptance.
An excellent update as of 2020 of gay legislation in countries around the world. Told with honesty and detail, the searching that LGBTQ? go through to find themselves and the lifestyle that feels right for them. An enjoyable read.
Needing some time to think through what he wanted in life, Calum took an animal caretaking job adjoining a Bhuddhist monastery in the depths of Thailand. Gaining some true friendships he decided it was time to return to his parents who were retired in Spain. He met a couple and became involved in their lives until their relationship imploded leaving Calum wracked with guilt and sadness. Finally to London, where he found the gay community mothered by Drag Queens and found his place in the world, protesting and urging acceptance.
An excellent update as of 2020 of gay legislation in countries around the world. Told with honesty and detail, the searching that LGBTQ? go through to find themselves and the lifestyle that feels right for them. An enjoyable read.
May 9, 2020
Eat, Gay, Love is a book you will either absolutely adore for Calum McSwiggan candour and openness in his personal journey and the people he meets a long the way, or you hate it and think it's far fetched and simplistic. It's a very marmite novel.
The novel is all about Calum exploring his sexuality, and who he is after having his heartbroken. He doesn't hold back when it comes to his feelings, at times he seems like an incredibly likeable guy who you'd have a laugh with on a night out or who you just want to hug because of all the things he gone through. Then there are times within the book where he comes across as exceedingly selfish, judgemental and so unwilling to hold himself accountable for his own actions you just want to shake him and say grow up,
But that's sort of the point of the novel so it works.... it's an exploration of Calum finding himself, of him healing and moving on and him learning to embrace who he is and living life to the fullest. This a story many in the LGBT+ community will read and relate to.
The novel is all about Calum exploring his sexuality, and who he is after having his heartbroken. He doesn't hold back when it comes to his feelings, at times he seems like an incredibly likeable guy who you'd have a laugh with on a night out or who you just want to hug because of all the things he gone through. Then there are times within the book where he comes across as exceedingly selfish, judgemental and so unwilling to hold himself accountable for his own actions you just want to shake him and say grow up,
But that's sort of the point of the novel so it works.... it's an exploration of Calum finding himself, of him healing and moving on and him learning to embrace who he is and living life to the fullest. This a story many in the LGBT+ community will read and relate to.
July 12, 2020
I must admit, this is the first travel memoir I've ever read but I can safely say, I loved every word of it.
I've followed Calum online for at least 5 years and have been lucky enough to hear snippets of his travel stories, either in videos or when I've met him. As soon as this was announced, I preordered and could not wait to delve into his wonderful adventures.
As I read each chapter, I felt like I was there myself, experiencing the journey of self-discovery with him and the inspiring people he met along the way.
I loved the discussion of the issues faced by LGBTQ+ communities all over the world, it would have been really easy for Calum to brush past these and focus on the exciting adventures he had. It was enlightening and I adored the emphasis on the diversity of the LGBTQ+ communities around the world.
I loved this book so much and I definitely learnt a lot more about the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ people around the globe. I'd strongly recommend this to anyone who's looking for a quick but insightful read!
I've followed Calum online for at least 5 years and have been lucky enough to hear snippets of his travel stories, either in videos or when I've met him. As soon as this was announced, I preordered and could not wait to delve into his wonderful adventures.
As I read each chapter, I felt like I was there myself, experiencing the journey of self-discovery with him and the inspiring people he met along the way.
I loved the discussion of the issues faced by LGBTQ+ communities all over the world, it would have been really easy for Calum to brush past these and focus on the exciting adventures he had. It was enlightening and I adored the emphasis on the diversity of the LGBTQ+ communities around the world.
I loved this book so much and I definitely learnt a lot more about the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ people around the globe. I'd strongly recommend this to anyone who's looking for a quick but insightful read!
September 2, 2020
Fue doloroso de leer. Al tratarse de las experiencias de una persona de la comunidad, es inevitable recordar lo que uno pasaba durante el tiempo que sus viajes tenían lugar. Sin embargo, estas historias siempre me parecen necesarias, ya sea para reflexionar, ampliar nuestra perspectiva de la comunidad LGBT+ y de sus luchas pero, también alegrarnos por sus éxitos. El autor comparte sus vivencias con detalle, e independientemente de lo significativas que puedan parecernos o no, es una oportunidad de ser empático con ciertas problemáticas qué de otra forma sería complicado comprender, ya sea por falta de información, las diferencias culturales y los diferentes privilegios. De dicho privilegio, afortunadamente el autor es muy consciente. Al final, agradezco que me haya recordado lo hermosa que puede ser la comunidad LGBT+.
October 17, 2020
Calum McSwiggan spins an interesting, heartfelt, sometimes cringeworthy, tale of his travels in this compelling memoir. The locations are exotic and varied, providing a theatrical backdrop to his very personal experiences. His interactions with the people he meets brought back many fond memories of my own experiences travelling the world, sometimes on my own, and the importance of the people I met.
As Calum says, "... it's the company you keep that makes a home feel like home." That is what he experienced in Italy, Germany, India, Thailand, and Spain. And it is what he creates for himself in London.
Calum also manages to include references to LGBT+ culture, laws, norms and behaviours form around the world, reminding the reader that what we might have, others may not, and the fight for justice for all continues.
A touching and inspiring memoir.
As Calum says, "... it's the company you keep that makes a home feel like home." That is what he experienced in Italy, Germany, India, Thailand, and Spain. And it is what he creates for himself in London.
Calum also manages to include references to LGBT+ culture, laws, norms and behaviours form around the world, reminding the reader that what we might have, others may not, and the fight for justice for all continues.
A touching and inspiring memoir.
October 16, 2021
Calum has everything he's ever wanted, an enjoyable job, a nice home, supportive parents and a steady loving partner, one night his partner is assaulted in an homophobic attack and their lives begin to fall apart. Their relationship crumbles and so does Calum, unsure what to do, he decides to explore the world and see if he can find himself. I really enjoyed this book, it is a sweetly told, a travelog through various LGBT experiences in expected and unexpected countries from the sex clubs of Berlin to a tiger sanctuary in a monastery in Thailand. Each adventure is gripping to read and I really liked the way that the author uses his experiences to explore aspects of LGBT life including the difficulties and ways of living as LGBT in countries where being gay or trans is illegal. A fascinating and engaging read.
April 13, 2020
Calum McSwiggan’s memoir is a candid, upfront account of a significant period of his life, in the post-break-up stages of his relationship.
McSwiggan works as an English teacher in Italy; has some memorable, and sometimes horrific, experiences, in Ibiza, India and Thailand; and ends up in London, learning a lot more about himself and others. Considering he is not yet thirty, it is inspiring to read an account of a man’s life where so much has been accomplished.
This memoir is clearly written and expressive but, at times, cliched. However, what it does best is highlight how being honest with yourself is recommended and can reap the most useful rewards - that is, finding friendship and working out the direction of one’s life.
McSwiggan works as an English teacher in Italy; has some memorable, and sometimes horrific, experiences, in Ibiza, India and Thailand; and ends up in London, learning a lot more about himself and others. Considering he is not yet thirty, it is inspiring to read an account of a man’s life where so much has been accomplished.
This memoir is clearly written and expressive but, at times, cliched. However, what it does best is highlight how being honest with yourself is recommended and can reap the most useful rewards - that is, finding friendship and working out the direction of one’s life.
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