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Monster
Meet Monster. Meet Judy. Two humans who don't like each other much, but together must fight dragons, fire-breathing felines, trolls, Inuit walrus dogs, and a crazy cat lady - for the future of the universe.
Monster runs a pest control agency. He's overworked and has domestic troubles - like having the girlfriend from hell.
Judy works the night shift at the local Food Plus Mart. Not the most glamorous life, but Judy is happy. No one bothers her and if she has to spell things out for the night-manager every now and again, so be it.
But when Judy finds a Yeti in the freezer aisle eating all the Rocky Road, her life collides with Monster's in a rather alarming fashion. Because Monster doesn't catch raccoons; he catches the things that go bump in the night. Things like ogres, trolls, and dragons.
Oh, and his girlfriend from Hell? She actually is from Hell.
Monster runs a pest control agency. He's overworked and has domestic troubles - like having the girlfriend from hell.
Judy works the night shift at the local Food Plus Mart. Not the most glamorous life, but Judy is happy. No one bothers her and if she has to spell things out for the night-manager every now and again, so be it.
But when Judy finds a Yeti in the freezer aisle eating all the Rocky Road, her life collides with Monster's in a rather alarming fashion. Because Monster doesn't catch raccoons; he catches the things that go bump in the night. Things like ogres, trolls, and dragons.
Oh, and his girlfriend from Hell? She actually is from Hell.
295 pages, Hardcover
First published April 22, 2009
188 people are currently reading
5015 people want to read
About the author
A. Lee Martinez
31 books2,109 followersA. Lee Martinez was born in El Paso, Texas. At the age of eighteen, for no apparent reason, he started writing novels. Thirteen short years (and a little over a dozen manuscripts) later, his first novel, Gil's All Fright Diner, was published. His hobbies include juggling, games of all sorts, and astral projecting. Also, he likes to sing along with the radio when he's in the car by himself.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 802 reviews
November 14, 2017
Monster by A. Lee Martinez is two parts Christopher Moore, one part Ghostbusters, a heaping smidgen of Harry Potter, a sprinkle of Poul Anderson, a whisper of Piers Anthony and an ever so slight nod to China Mieville.
Pure escapism, but fun.
Back in the late eighties there was a TV commercial for a collection of old songs called Fun Rock. The ad declared there was “No meaning! No message! Just fun!” This was a fun book; and if given half an opportunity, I’ll probably read another offering from Mr. Martinez. It’s good to have fun: Peter Gabriel, Sting and Depeche Mode are all brilliant, high minded and intense; but sometimes you just want to spin some Sabbath and listen to Ozzie scorch war pigs.
Pure escapism, but fun.
Back in the late eighties there was a TV commercial for a collection of old songs called Fun Rock. The ad declared there was “No meaning! No message! Just fun!” This was a fun book; and if given half an opportunity, I’ll probably read another offering from Mr. Martinez. It’s good to have fun: Peter Gabriel, Sting and Depeche Mode are all brilliant, high minded and intense; but sometimes you just want to spin some Sabbath and listen to Ozzie scorch war pigs.
August 4, 2011
Three and a half stars.
An interesting book with a host of unusual characters. We follow the adventures of Judy, a clerk at a fast-food mart and Monster, a freelance monster hunter. I felt the characters come to life and were unique, but I didn't find them sympathetic--it was hard to care too much about them. Rather, I wanted to pop them both on the head and say, "wise up!" It says something when your most ethical and sympathetic character is a sidekick paper golem from another dimension. However, the fact that that is even a sentence in my review is one reason I'll read more of Martinez' books--very creative characters.
The plot is mostly action/puzzle solving, when Judy repeatedly comes into contact with Monster over monster infestations that keep occurring in her vicinity. Judy tends to forget the experience unless magic helps maintain her memories, and one of the most interesting plot points is when she is determined to maintain her memories on her own. I felt the steps she took and her subsequent reactions to them to be both realistic and sadly funny.
There's a segment on a couple living across from a being we meet later in the book, and in retrospect it's a little puzzling why it was included. Perhaps it is meant to show us how amoral/ egocentric she is? Unfortunately, it derails the focus from Monster and Judy and does little to heighten tension.
It turns out that the book is a little bit philosophical too, and gets kind of-far-out universe-origins odd. Maybe Martinez is channeling Douglas Adams. If you enjoy that style, you will most likely enjoy Monster.
Rounded down because of language and unsympathetic characters. By language, I would say it was written at a low high school level in straightforward prose. It's a style I occasionally enjoy but felt lacked world-building and sophistication.
An interesting book with a host of unusual characters. We follow the adventures of Judy, a clerk at a fast-food mart and Monster, a freelance monster hunter. I felt the characters come to life and were unique, but I didn't find them sympathetic--it was hard to care too much about them. Rather, I wanted to pop them both on the head and say, "wise up!" It says something when your most ethical and sympathetic character is a sidekick paper golem from another dimension. However, the fact that that is even a sentence in my review is one reason I'll read more of Martinez' books--very creative characters.
The plot is mostly action/puzzle solving, when Judy repeatedly comes into contact with Monster over monster infestations that keep occurring in her vicinity. Judy tends to forget the experience unless magic helps maintain her memories, and one of the most interesting plot points is when she is determined to maintain her memories on her own. I felt the steps she took and her subsequent reactions to them to be both realistic and sadly funny.
There's a segment on a couple living across from a being we meet later in the book, and in retrospect it's a little puzzling why it was included. Perhaps it is meant to show us how amoral/ egocentric she is? Unfortunately, it derails the focus from Monster and Judy and does little to heighten tension.
It turns out that the book is a little bit philosophical too, and gets kind of-far-out universe-origins odd. Maybe Martinez is channeling Douglas Adams. If you enjoy that style, you will most likely enjoy Monster.
Rounded down because of language and unsympathetic characters. By language, I would say it was written at a low high school level in straightforward prose. It's a style I occasionally enjoy but felt lacked world-building and sophistication.
April 18, 2020
انتظارش رو نداشتم.انتطار اینکه از این کتاب خوشم بیاد رو نداشتم.برای خودمم جالب بود.این کتاب رو تقریبا بدون هیچ انتظاری شروع کردم.ده صفحهی اول رو خوندم و بعد یه مقدار کنار گذاشتمش.چون به نظرم جالب نبود.یونیک نبود.خستهکننده بود.
اشتباه میکردم.
وقتی دوباره بهش فرصت دادم فهمیدم که اشتباه میکردم.داستان جذاب بود و فقط یه مقدار زمان میخواست که خودش رو نشون بده.داستان در دنیایی اتفاق میافته که دنیای خاصیه.جزئیات زیادی نداره ولی با دنیای ما متفاوته و من این رو خیلی دوست داشتم.
شخصیتها رو خیلی دوست داشتم.باید دنیا رو نجات بدن ولی برای هیچ کس مهم نیست.هیچ کس این قضیه رو بزرگ نمیکنه و مطمئنم اگر میتونستن این کار رو گردن آدمای دیگه میانداختند.همین برای من بسیار جالب بود.
داستان خیلی معمولی و یک خطی بود.چیزی که شگفت انگیز باشه و یه خوانندهی حرفهای رو به شک، هیجان و تردید بندازه.هیچ معمایی نبود.هیچ چیز جدیدی به جز نکاتی که گفتم نداشت.
در نهایت مانستر کتابیه که من پیشنهادش میکنم ولی نه به شدت.یه داستان معمولی که خیلی جدید نیست ولی المان های یونیک و جدیدی داره و بسیار به دل میشینیه.امتیاز من به این کتاب دقیقا همین ریت کتابه. 3.82
اشتباه میکردم.
وقتی دوباره بهش فرصت دادم فهمیدم که اشتباه میکردم.داستان جذاب بود و فقط یه مقدار زمان میخواست که خودش رو نشون بده.داستان در دنیایی اتفاق میافته که دنیای خاصیه.جزئیات زیادی نداره ولی با دنیای ما متفاوته و من این رو خیلی دوست داشتم.
شخصیتها رو خیلی دوست داشتم.باید دنیا رو نجات بدن ولی برای هیچ کس مهم نیست.هیچ کس این قضیه رو بزرگ نمیکنه و مطمئنم اگر میتونستن این کار رو گردن آدمای دیگه میانداختند.همین برای من بسیار جالب بود.
داستان خیلی معمولی و یک خطی بود.چیزی که شگفت انگیز باشه و یه خوانندهی حرفهای رو به شک، هیجان و تردید بندازه.هیچ معمایی نبود.هیچ چیز جدیدی به جز نکاتی که گفتم نداشت.
در نهایت مانستر کتابیه که من پیشنهادش میکنم ولی نه به شدت.یه داستان معمولی که خیلی جدید نیست ولی المان های یونیک و جدیدی داره و بسیار به دل میشینیه.امتیاز من به این کتاب دقیقا همین ریت کتابه. 3.82
June 3, 2013
Ouch...oh...the pain. I bought this....
in hardback.
It was a couple of years ago, I'd just read Monster Hunter International, the synopsis sounded fun. So again I fell for the "buy it because the synopsis sounds good" weakness.
Look, some of you won't dislike this so much. I was tempted to go 2 stars because mostly I just find it mediocre and don't hate it, but I didn't finish it. I just felt I was wasting my time when I picked it back up. I wasn't enjoying it. My "sort of self-imposed rule" is that if I don't even finish the book I give a 1 star as a "personal" rating.
This book is more one of humor. I found the humor silly and not really all that funny. This is set in a world where paranormal "stuff" happens and there are 911 options you get shifted to in case things of that nature happen...like a Yettie (or several Yetties) showing up to eat all the ice cream in a grocery store's freezer...for instance.
So see this blue guy shows up, does his thing, mayhem ensues, we get a couple of Harry Potter jokes. Then we find out he has a girlfriend from the "Pit" whom he met through the personals in a Hellish newspaper....
You get the idea. Some of you will like this I'm sure. It's completely sort of silliness and that's not a problem. If it appeals to you that's great. I just didn't find it funny or interesting.
And, I'm annoyed I bought it in hardback, sheesh.
in hardback.
It was a couple of years ago, I'd just read Monster Hunter International, the synopsis sounded fun. So again I fell for the "buy it because the synopsis sounds good" weakness.
Look, some of you won't dislike this so much. I was tempted to go 2 stars because mostly I just find it mediocre and don't hate it, but I didn't finish it. I just felt I was wasting my time when I picked it back up. I wasn't enjoying it. My "sort of self-imposed rule" is that if I don't even finish the book I give a 1 star as a "personal" rating.
This book is more one of humor. I found the humor silly and not really all that funny. This is set in a world where paranormal "stuff" happens and there are 911 options you get shifted to in case things of that nature happen...like a Yettie (or several Yetties) showing up to eat all the ice cream in a grocery store's freezer...for instance.
So see this blue guy shows up, does his thing, mayhem ensues, we get a couple of Harry Potter jokes. Then we find out he has a girlfriend from the "Pit" whom he met through the personals in a Hellish newspaper....
You get the idea. Some of you will like this I'm sure. It's completely sort of silliness and that's not a problem. If it appeals to you that's great. I just didn't find it funny or interesting.
And, I'm annoyed I bought it in hardback, sheesh.
June 11, 2009
I now want a paper gnome sidekick after reading this story where mythological beasts are real, and there are cryptobiological agents to deal with them. (Think animal control for yetis.) A young slacker woman gets involved and disaster ensues.
At the 3/4 mark on this, I was getting bored and this was headed for 2 stars. This story of official agents who deal with the strange has been done to death in recent years, the humor wasn't that funny and the entire story seemed to consist of one magical animal attack after another against Monster and Judy.
However, the ending veered a bit from the usual story of an overwhelmed novice facing the ultimate evil. I don't want to spoil it, but there was actually a pretty clever and original premise lurking in the overall storyline. Plus, I liked the paper gnome Chester. So it redeemed itself a lot in the end.
At the 3/4 mark on this, I was getting bored and this was headed for 2 stars. This story of official agents who deal with the strange has been done to death in recent years, the humor wasn't that funny and the entire story seemed to consist of one magical animal attack after another against Monster and Judy.
However, the ending veered a bit from the usual story of an overwhelmed novice facing the ultimate evil. I don't want to spoil it, but there was actually a pretty clever and original premise lurking in the overall storyline. Plus, I liked the paper gnome Chester. So it redeemed itself a lot in the end.
January 30, 2012
Do you need an “escape” book? Want a break from all those “serious” books you’ve been reading? Then boy, do I have a treat for you! MONSTER, written by A. Lee Martinez, is an action-packed, over-the-top, modern-day fantasy packed with humor about a man who catches and transmogrifies pests. Not your ordinary pests. We’re talking ice-cream eating yetis, giant multi-headed snakes, Japanese ogres, walrus dogs, snarling goat-headed creatures, and the like. MONSTER had me smiling all the way through.
Monster (that’s his name) and his paper gnome sidekick, Chester, encounter a sudden proliferation of beasties to catch, which leads to the discovery of a universal power war that they can’t seem to get away from. Houses burn, streets melt, alternate dimensions are visited – I tell you, the fun never ends!
This is an easy read that will keep you entirely entertained for a few hours. I recommend MONSTER for everyone who wants to brighten their day!
Monster (that’s his name) and his paper gnome sidekick, Chester, encounter a sudden proliferation of beasties to catch, which leads to the discovery of a universal power war that they can’t seem to get away from. Houses burn, streets melt, alternate dimensions are visited – I tell you, the fun never ends!
This is an easy read that will keep you entirely entertained for a few hours. I recommend MONSTER for everyone who wants to brighten their day!
October 27, 2023
معرفی کتاب در کانال یوتوب 🥰
https://youtu.be/OW49bNiZoT4?si=L1w9_...
https://youtu.be/OW49bNiZoT4?si=L1w9_...
October 18, 2009
Before I delve into the review, I just want to state that even though I only gave this book 3 stars, it deserves a 3.9, I just can't fully apply the "I really liked it" tag that comes with four stars. And so we begin,
A. Lee Martinez has written an incredibly fun, unique, funny, introspective, wishful, and decent novel with "Monster". He introduces a lot of ideas that even the sci-fi/fantasy scene never really thought of before, and he spins, as a whole, an enticing tale with these ideas. I can't really put my finger on what made this book "just not quite enough" for me. It has all the needed elements that are engaging and fun, but there is just something missing, and I think that it's the deepness and backstory of the characters.
The book focuses on Monster, a crypto-biological animal control agent, with some slightly sociopathic tendencies, a dead-end relationship with a succubus who doesn't enjoy being intimate, and Chester, a sixth-dimensional uncorporeal sidekick with morality issues who does neat tricks with his paper body "host" he uses for the third dimension.
Even though throughout the novel you learn about how miserable Monster is with his stagnant life and you get a lot of psychological insight into Monster, Chester, and their new loser/"chosen one" friend Judy, you can never really quite connect all the way with any of them.
I wasn't so sure about the trans-dimensional, all-powerful, parasitic Mrs. Lotus, and I really felt that she was underdeveloped. She had a lot of potential in the story and could have really made the ending more engaging. Because of her character, the universe-shattering ending of the novel really just remained a quiet moment at home in reality.
However, I digress. Overall Monster was a good read, and I definitely don't regret picking it up.
[Side Note:] The very short chapter about Rob and Evelyn is quite entertaining just as a stand-alone.
If there is one thing I have learned from this book, it's that angels are real... and they're easy. ;]
[Pg. 268, Mrs. Lotus to Judy:] "Do you know what separates humanity from the other beasts of this world? It's not the ability to make tools or complex language or any of that other nonsense you tell yourselves. No, humans are unique in all this world because they're the only creatures that can make themselves miserable. And do you know how you do that? You do it by expecting to be happy. You're so busy thinking about happiness, obsessing about finding it and why it isn't where you expect it to be that you completely miss the point. The other creatures of this universe don't go looking for happiness. They don't even expect to be happy. They just expect to be, and that's good enough."
A. Lee Martinez has written an incredibly fun, unique, funny, introspective, wishful, and decent novel with "Monster". He introduces a lot of ideas that even the sci-fi/fantasy scene never really thought of before, and he spins, as a whole, an enticing tale with these ideas. I can't really put my finger on what made this book "just not quite enough" for me. It has all the needed elements that are engaging and fun, but there is just something missing, and I think that it's the deepness and backstory of the characters.
The book focuses on Monster, a crypto-biological animal control agent, with some slightly sociopathic tendencies, a dead-end relationship with a succubus who doesn't enjoy being intimate, and Chester, a sixth-dimensional uncorporeal sidekick with morality issues who does neat tricks with his paper body "host" he uses for the third dimension.
Even though throughout the novel you learn about how miserable Monster is with his stagnant life and you get a lot of psychological insight into Monster, Chester, and their new loser/"chosen one" friend Judy, you can never really quite connect all the way with any of them.
I wasn't so sure about the trans-dimensional, all-powerful, parasitic Mrs. Lotus, and I really felt that she was underdeveloped. She had a lot of potential in the story and could have really made the ending more engaging. Because of her character, the universe-shattering ending of the novel really just remained a quiet moment at home in reality.
However, I digress. Overall Monster was a good read, and I definitely don't regret picking it up.
[Side Note:] The very short chapter about Rob and Evelyn is quite entertaining just as a stand-alone.
If there is one thing I have learned from this book, it's that angels are real... and they're easy. ;]
[Pg. 268, Mrs. Lotus to Judy:] "Do you know what separates humanity from the other beasts of this world? It's not the ability to make tools or complex language or any of that other nonsense you tell yourselves. No, humans are unique in all this world because they're the only creatures that can make themselves miserable. And do you know how you do that? You do it by expecting to be happy. You're so busy thinking about happiness, obsessing about finding it and why it isn't where you expect it to be that you completely miss the point. The other creatures of this universe don't go looking for happiness. They don't even expect to be happy. They just expect to be, and that's good enough."
May 20, 2017
I'm in luck this year. I've had the pleasure of reading some great Urban Fantasy novels. Monster joins the list as a humorous fantasy adventure where the fantastic is mundane. The haze is a magical affect that makes people forget or adjust anything magical to something normal. Only a small percentage of people have the ability to handle perceiving magic. They're considered fully cognizant. Most people are non-cog and a handful are part-cog.
Judy is a part-cog and she doesn't flip out when she finds a yeti in the freezer section of the grocery store. She ends up calling animal control and gets transferred to the Cryptobiological Containment and Rescue Services. Basically animal control for mythical critters. A blue guy named Monster and a paper gnome called Chester answer the call.
The story starts off weird and stays there. You have to understand that weird is normal, average is boring and you don't have to like either Judy or Monster to enjoy the story. Just keep your mouth closed and stop it from falling open, be ready to laugh or snort and follow along for a bizarre ride to save--well, you'll find out.
The story is funny without really trying too hard to be funny. A mix of tongue-in-cheek, dry and imagine it for yourself comedy that doesn't take away from the story. It doesn't make the story stupid. The humor is like that found in Shrek. The kind that anyone from a kid to an adult can enjoy.
Frankly, I don't like either of the characters too much but you can see where both of them are coming from. If I had to name a favorite, my pick would be Chester because he's a wise-ass, disembodied entity that is basically a good guy.
The lesson is: Be careful what you wish for.
I had a great time listening to this story! Eric Michael Summerer was a great narrator. He pulled off the dry humor by keeping it low key. I look forward to reading other work by A. Lee Martinez. I'm sure they will be just as entertaining.
Judy is a part-cog and she doesn't flip out when she finds a yeti in the freezer section of the grocery store. She ends up calling animal control and gets transferred to the Cryptobiological Containment and Rescue Services. Basically animal control for mythical critters. A blue guy named Monster and a paper gnome called Chester answer the call.
The story starts off weird and stays there. You have to understand that weird is normal, average is boring and you don't have to like either Judy or Monster to enjoy the story. Just keep your mouth closed and stop it from falling open, be ready to laugh or snort and follow along for a bizarre ride to save--well, you'll find out.
The story is funny without really trying too hard to be funny. A mix of tongue-in-cheek, dry and imagine it for yourself comedy that doesn't take away from the story. It doesn't make the story stupid. The humor is like that found in Shrek. The kind that anyone from a kid to an adult can enjoy.
Frankly, I don't like either of the characters too much but you can see where both of them are coming from. If I had to name a favorite, my pick would be Chester because he's a wise-ass, disembodied entity that is basically a good guy.
The lesson is: Be careful what you wish for.
I had a great time listening to this story! Eric Michael Summerer was a great narrator. He pulled off the dry humor by keeping it low key. I look forward to reading other work by A. Lee Martinez. I'm sure they will be just as entertaining.
September 23, 2009
Martinez’ The Automatic Detective was on of my favorite reads of 2008 for its clever combination of humor and tropes from both the hard-boiled and science fiction genres. While I wouldn’t rank Monster as quite as entertaining I still found it a wholly enjoyable read full of Martinez’s clever and frequently humorous ideas. Our main character, Monster, works for the Cyptobiological Containment and Rescue Services division of Animal Control. A routine call from Supermarket employee Judy turns into a not-so routine mission and Monster, with his paper gnome partner (actually the paper gnome is an interface device for a highly evolved entity from the 6th dimension) Chester, is plunged from their day-to-day job into events far bigger than they’re used.
Full review here.
Full review here.
March 3, 2024
More 3.5
I feel like this was Ghostbusters Meets Harry Potter or something similar. The constant 'cryptos' popping up one after the other was a little annoying, but I guess that was the point of the book. The idea of a paper gnome is cute
I feel like this was Ghostbusters Meets Harry Potter or something similar. The constant 'cryptos' popping up one after the other was a little annoying, but I guess that was the point of the book. The idea of a paper gnome is cute
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 19, 2010
First time reading this author and I practically devoured the book in one sitting. I'll admit, the cover caught my eye and that's probably why I bought it. Happily, the book did not disappoint at all. I thought it was fun and creative - definitely brain candy, like one reviewer's blurb on the back cover called it. Monster and his enchanted color-changing skin was really cool. I also liked the author's explanation of how magic exists yet most humans in the world just aren't capable of realizing it. A world full of interesting creatures abound, and poor Monster haphazardly walks into the thick of things as he meets night-shift clerk Judy when answering a call about a Yeti at the local supermarket. It just gets crazier from there. I am definitely going to keep my eye out for more from this author!
March 30, 2011
The first book I've read from Martinez, definitely not going to be my last one. Martinez is good at throwing random ideas at you and create impossible situations look like a cool chaos to get involve in. Also, I wish I had Chester, the paper gnome as my walking dictionary. Everything he says is just amusing. Monster is a fun read and judging from the story, I think Martinez had a good time writing it too.
Now I know when a sphinx ask you a random question (e.g. What demands an answer without asking a question?), you know to need to give an answer to avoid chaos.
Now I know when a sphinx ask you a random question (e.g. What demands an answer without asking a question?), you know to need to give an answer to avoid chaos.
November 5, 2022
Good lord. insert a hundred eye roll emojis here.
The 2009 me who bought this from Borders in hardcover really liked A. Lee Martinez. I clearly remember reading Gil's All Fright Diner back in the day and looooving it, it was a quick favorite of mine back then.
But 2022 me... eh. Not so much.
I can appreciate what he's doing here - hitting the campy 'strange and magical beings are among us but most of us are too low brained to see it' urban fantasy fiction really hard, taking Men in Black down a notch and turning the sunglasses and suits into cryptobiological animal control guys and replacing those red light pens with automatic memory loss - but honestly, I think I'm over it. It just didn't hit the same this time.
If you're into fiction that likes to have fun, but isn't LOL funny, the stuff that I'd classify as "brain candy", you may really enjoy it. Maybe my days of digging fiction by writers like A Lee Martinez, Christopher Moore, and Charlaine Harris are behind me, and I think I'm ok with it...
The 2009 me who bought this from Borders in hardcover really liked A. Lee Martinez. I clearly remember reading Gil's All Fright Diner back in the day and looooving it, it was a quick favorite of mine back then.
But 2022 me... eh. Not so much.
I can appreciate what he's doing here - hitting the campy 'strange and magical beings are among us but most of us are too low brained to see it' urban fantasy fiction really hard, taking Men in Black down a notch and turning the sunglasses and suits into cryptobiological animal control guys and replacing those red light pens with automatic memory loss - but honestly, I think I'm over it. It just didn't hit the same this time.
If you're into fiction that likes to have fun, but isn't LOL funny, the stuff that I'd classify as "brain candy", you may really enjoy it. Maybe my days of digging fiction by writers like A Lee Martinez, Christopher Moore, and Charlaine Harris are behind me, and I think I'm ok with it...
March 9, 2019
اگه دنبال یه کتاب مفرّح هستید که باهاش بخندید و روز خوبی رو باهاش بگذرونید، به نظرم این کتاب، یکی از بهترین انتخابهاست. داستان فانتزیای داره که تا حدی به مانگا و انیمه تنه میزنه و اتّفات بامزهای توش میافته که ممکنه بعضیهاشون، شما رو به خنده بندازه. ترجمهٔ کتاب هم خوبه و موقع خوندن کتاب که ضرباهنگ سریعی هم داره، مشکلی به وجود نمیآره.
June 22, 2015
Fun cheesy solid ride !
February 23, 2018
2.5 stars rounded up.
This was largely meh for me. I finished it alright, so that's why I bumped it up. Personally, I didn't connect with either MC (disliked Monster and was meh about Judy.) The plot was somewhat interesting but the book didn't really go into any detail on the hows and whys. The biggest things that turned me off were the character and the general excuses the author gives us to explain plot holes.
There was no character growth in any of them. Somewhat for Judy, but nothing for the others. The villain didn't really make sense. We're given excuses as to why she doesn't act but they felt like the excuses they were. Judy escaped once, with the tablet she needed, so why didn't she kill her when she got Judy back? Surely her tablet was more important than her plan. We're told these sorts of people come once every million years. Problem solved. And why does she help Monster? We're told it's because she was to locate the tablet but then we're also told she always knows where it is.
Also, it made no sense (other than as an engine to create action) why Judy couldn't retain her knowledge of magic. We're told it's because the tablet is stupid and that she's just a tool, but it could reason and plan, and it knew enough to send help and recognize Monster, etc. etc. So it knew her value and it knew enough to protect her, but it wouldn't realize that not remembering would be harmful? Huh.
This was largely meh for me. I finished it alright, so that's why I bumped it up. Personally, I didn't connect with either MC (disliked Monster and was meh about Judy.) The plot was somewhat interesting but the book didn't really go into any detail on the hows and whys. The biggest things that turned me off were the character and the general excuses the author gives us to explain plot holes.
There was no character growth in any of them. Somewhat for Judy, but nothing for the others. The villain didn't really make sense. We're given excuses as to why she doesn't act but they felt like the excuses they were. Judy escaped once, with the tablet she needed, so why didn't she kill her when she got Judy back? Surely her tablet was more important than her plan. We're told these sorts of people come once every million years. Problem solved. And why does she help Monster? We're told it's because she was to locate the tablet but then we're also told she always knows where it is.
Also, it made no sense (other than as an engine to create action) why Judy couldn't retain her knowledge of magic. We're told it's because the tablet is stupid and that she's just a tool, but it could reason and plan, and it knew enough to send help and recognize Monster, etc. etc. So it knew her value and it knew enough to protect her, but it wouldn't realize that not remembering would be harmful? Huh.
June 10, 2020
I really like this author. Two books read, both odd, off-the-wall, magic fits in every day life and it works in weird ways. Some crazy stuff happens here. The characters are working Joe's who kind of have no choice but to survive this nuttiness.
Good stuff. Looking forward to the next one! I have a couple waiting to be read and I am excited to see what story happens next.
Good stuff. Looking forward to the next one! I have a couple waiting to be read and I am excited to see what story happens next.
May 1, 2018
This is the sort of book I really like, and I can't deny I really liked most of this one, so with a good deal of hesitation I'm giving it four stars. Why such diffident praise? It's packed with comic scenes and it often seems to be channeling Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker series, but the great humor in those works (and even more so in those of Christopher Moore and Jasper Fforde) stems from the earnestness of the characters, who are all in their own way striving for something beyond their present condition. In this book only the villain fits that description. The main characters, for all their grumbling and hostility, are really resigned to their jobs and their life situations and only strive to make their lives go more smoothly as they're beset by an increasing proliferation of problems. The situations are very funny, but the people aren't.
We have Monster, the main character, a (licensed) freelance cryptobiological rescue agent who, owing to a basilisk bite three years previous, has an unstable enchantment that makes him immune to all poisons, changes his color every time he wakes up, and gives him a different superpower with each color: he's "invulnerable to violent harm" when he's blue, he becomes invisible whenever he shuts his eyes if he's yellow, he can shoot lightning when he's gray, etc. His girlfriend is a demon who rather scares him, and his job involves finding the right runes for each "crypto" he's called to rescue, encircling it, and transmogrifying it into a small stone for transport to the cryptobiological branch of Animal Control for payment.
We have Judy Hines, who works the night shift at a 24-hour grocery store and is "in communion with the most primal aspect of creation" but doesn't know it; she is also one of the "light cognizants" in the story whose brain is equipped to perceive magic, especially magical beings like cryptobiologicals and parahumans (never confuse the two as Judy did!), but it fades quickly from their memory. She seems to be a "crypto magnet" who triggers encounters with a stupendous variety and quantity of cryptobiological beings, most of them hostile .
It's saying something that the easiest character for me to relate to is Chester, Monster's assistant and the source of common sense and good advice in the story, because he is a sixth-dimensional entity who interfaces with our plane of existence as a paper gnome, actually a series of paper constructs that he folds into various shapes with no size limit; as a paper bird, for example, he can fly. His actions in this dimension transfer valuable energy back to his home dimension.
The villain is a parasitic entity much older than the universe, present in our world as a sweet old lady named Lotus, who has become disappointed with the human species and is about to terminate it as she terminated the dinosaurs, but with less regret. She is parasitic on the magical stone that is the life force of the universe, without which there would be no universe, and currently she's using it as a cutting board, saying to Judy, "It's indestructible. My countertops aren't." You can probably see where this is going.
Even though Monster and Judy rescue each other repeatedly, they never seem to like each other (or anyone else) very much, and there is no romance between the main characters (sigh of relief). There's lots of violence and property destruction, and the author's imagination never quits. One outlandish scene follows another, and nearly all of them made me laugh.
We have Monster, the main character, a (licensed) freelance cryptobiological rescue agent who, owing to a basilisk bite three years previous, has an unstable enchantment that makes him immune to all poisons, changes his color every time he wakes up, and gives him a different superpower with each color: he's "invulnerable to violent harm" when he's blue, he becomes invisible whenever he shuts his eyes if he's yellow, he can shoot lightning when he's gray, etc. His girlfriend is a demon who rather scares him, and his job involves finding the right runes for each "crypto" he's called to rescue, encircling it, and transmogrifying it into a small stone for transport to the cryptobiological branch of Animal Control for payment.
We have Judy Hines, who works the night shift at a 24-hour grocery store and is "in communion with the most primal aspect of creation" but doesn't know it; she is also one of the "light cognizants" in the story whose brain is equipped to perceive magic, especially magical beings like cryptobiologicals and parahumans (never confuse the two as Judy did!), but it fades quickly from their memory. She seems to be a "crypto magnet" who triggers encounters with a stupendous variety and quantity of cryptobiological beings, most of them hostile .
It's saying something that the easiest character for me to relate to is Chester, Monster's assistant and the source of common sense and good advice in the story, because he is a sixth-dimensional entity who interfaces with our plane of existence as a paper gnome, actually a series of paper constructs that he folds into various shapes with no size limit; as a paper bird, for example, he can fly. His actions in this dimension transfer valuable energy back to his home dimension.
The villain is a parasitic entity much older than the universe, present in our world as a sweet old lady named Lotus, who has become disappointed with the human species and is about to terminate it as she terminated the dinosaurs, but with less regret. She is parasitic on the magical stone that is the life force of the universe, without which there would be no universe, and currently she's using it as a cutting board, saying to Judy, "It's indestructible. My countertops aren't." You can probably see where this is going.
Even though Monster and Judy rescue each other repeatedly, they never seem to like each other (or anyone else) very much, and there is no romance between the main characters (sigh of relief). There's lots of violence and property destruction, and the author's imagination never quits. One outlandish scene follows another, and nearly all of them made me laugh.
July 9, 2018
Monster (the titular Main main character) works for the City's Cryptobiological Containment and Rescue Services (read: magic monster pest control). He's about to get caught up in the whirlwhind that is Judy (the Other main character), who is slowly discovering (and constantly forgetting) that weird crap happens around her an awful lot, and it seems to be getting worse. Although they'd both really rather not, they are about to discover why that is, what needs to be done about it, and maybe save the world.
Urban fantasy has grown on me over the years, and when you add a dollop of irreverent humour and rampant sarcasm into the mix, it usually hits the spot for me. This certainly did: the world-building is pretty deftly implied and not too heavy-handed, some of the supporting characters are quite endearing, the monsters are quirky and well-imagined and the humour has a snarky tang to it that I quite enjoyed.
The main characters, Monster and Judy, had these theoretically interesting back stories in that they were both decidedly mundane in scope. Both are dissatisfied and settling, both maybe kind of want to care about something more than they do, but not really, because neither of them can be bothered. That's the thing; they were both so very disinterested. It was a bit bothersome, really, because the direction of the story, the apex of it, is much larger than you expect given the sheer no-shits-given of both of the main characters. Ultimately it became jarring when the action required them to do more than they clearly wanted to do. Judy spends the majority of the story shrugging off the oddities and dangers that crop up around her. You think she's going to gather some pluck, off and on, but nah, she's only fooling, and doesn't. Until the book absolutely needs her to, and suddenly she's all in. The same is essentially true of Monster - He's good at his job, but doesn't love it, has shallow goals and concerns and a finely honed knack for self preservation. Ultimately, I think he's supposed to have a few heart-of-gold Han Solo moments, but mehhhhh. They are not convincing at all, because he jumps into the fray after muttering some variation of "this really isn't my problem."
The ending was creative, though, and throughout the book there would be these sudden, out-of-the-blue philosophical moments. They caught me off guard because they were a bit deeper than dabbles (though not much so), and were odd and refreshing.
I actually enjoyed the book, and wished I might have liked the main characters more.
Plus. Evil cat army. Extra points for that.
Urban fantasy has grown on me over the years, and when you add a dollop of irreverent humour and rampant sarcasm into the mix, it usually hits the spot for me. This certainly did: the world-building is pretty deftly implied and not too heavy-handed, some of the supporting characters are quite endearing, the monsters are quirky and well-imagined and the humour has a snarky tang to it that I quite enjoyed.
The main characters, Monster and Judy, had these theoretically interesting back stories in that they were both decidedly mundane in scope. Both are dissatisfied and settling, both maybe kind of want to care about something more than they do, but not really, because neither of them can be bothered. That's the thing; they were both so very disinterested. It was a bit bothersome, really, because the direction of the story, the apex of it, is much larger than you expect given the sheer no-shits-given of both of the main characters. Ultimately it became jarring when the action required them to do more than they clearly wanted to do. Judy spends the majority of the story shrugging off the oddities and dangers that crop up around her. You think she's going to gather some pluck, off and on, but nah, she's only fooling, and doesn't. Until the book absolutely needs her to, and suddenly she's all in. The same is essentially true of Monster - He's good at his job, but doesn't love it, has shallow goals and concerns and a finely honed knack for self preservation. Ultimately, I think he's supposed to have a few heart-of-gold Han Solo moments, but mehhhhh. They are not convincing at all, because he jumps into the fray after muttering some variation of "this really isn't my problem."
The ending was creative, though, and throughout the book there would be these sudden, out-of-the-blue philosophical moments. They caught me off guard because they were a bit deeper than dabbles (though not much so), and were odd and refreshing.
I actually enjoyed the book, and wished I might have liked the main characters more.
Plus. Evil cat army. Extra points for that.
April 13, 2019
Life is a lemon... and I Can’t make lemonade lol!
Anyways the theme behind the scenes is getting a sh*tty lot in life. A point of view..{ chasing happiness is absurd. } I kinda agree with that and then how do you live life..? I mean without being a party pooper or be sore at the world? Do we just grind our gears forever to get nowhere? What is our reality? That is another theme the author tackles.. like what if our universe is on the back of a turtle..for example? I like the plot but it’s always what’s behind the fantasy and Sci Fi. Peel back the layers and what are the characters battling, why? How does it make me feel? Like an average Joe Schmoe.. “muggle” who can’t see real magic (like Judy). I wish I could have a special destiny.
I also love that relationships DO NOT WORK! I know that sounds funny but I think that it would be harder to write about two characters that can’t stand each other, annoy each other and/or are generally nice yet basic a$$holes. Everything is so black and white in my world (BPD y’all) that I love all Shades of Grey and (stupid 50 Shades spoilt that saying for me...😤)
I loved the “Crypto’s” they came in rainbows of colors! Our two main MC’s a man and a woman who HATE each other, so it makes for an interesting read especially when one of them can’t remember magic and the other changes skin colors everyday (like: blue, goldenrod, green, etc.)
I highlighted a ton in the book because it’s about life and to me life sucks big butts on a daily basis so.. I get it. Just I guess need to use my imagination and become a writer like I’ve been blabbing but never doing.... How’s that for a different kinda review. They get boring when ppl either recap synopsis.. or say..”It was great!” In various same ways.. like I kinda do.. or pretend like the person either has read the book and now I’m talking about after the event..which is kinda tough without spoiler tags lol. I do everything backwards and make things so much harder on myself. You should read this book if everyday is the same and you are stuck in a rut! Or if you like cats!
Anyways the theme behind the scenes is getting a sh*tty lot in life. A point of view..{ chasing happiness is absurd. } I kinda agree with that and then how do you live life..? I mean without being a party pooper or be sore at the world? Do we just grind our gears forever to get nowhere? What is our reality? That is another theme the author tackles.. like what if our universe is on the back of a turtle..for example? I like the plot but it’s always what’s behind the fantasy and Sci Fi. Peel back the layers and what are the characters battling, why? How does it make me feel? Like an average Joe Schmoe.. “muggle” who can’t see real magic (like Judy). I wish I could have a special destiny.
I also love that relationships DO NOT WORK! I know that sounds funny but I think that it would be harder to write about two characters that can’t stand each other, annoy each other and/or are generally nice yet basic a$$holes. Everything is so black and white in my world (BPD y’all) that I love all Shades of Grey and (stupid 50 Shades spoilt that saying for me...😤)
I loved the “Crypto’s” they came in rainbows of colors! Our two main MC’s a man and a woman who HATE each other, so it makes for an interesting read especially when one of them can’t remember magic and the other changes skin colors everyday (like: blue, goldenrod, green, etc.)
I highlighted a ton in the book because it’s about life and to me life sucks big butts on a daily basis so.. I get it. Just I guess need to use my imagination and become a writer like I’ve been blabbing but never doing.... How’s that for a different kinda review. They get boring when ppl either recap synopsis.. or say..”It was great!” In various same ways.. like I kinda do.. or pretend like the person either has read the book and now I’m talking about after the event..which is kinda tough without spoiler tags lol. I do everything backwards and make things so much harder on myself. You should read this book if everyday is the same and you are stuck in a rut! Or if you like cats!
March 29, 2011
I had a bit of an existential crisis while reading Monster. So, this review is going to be about me. And the book. Because both of us had a crisis.
Monster is written in a style so similar to my own I had to check my hard drives to make sure that I hadn't written it and published it under a pseudonym while I was black-out drunk that one weekend at my friend's bar mitzvah in Tahoe. But I hadn't. And then I wondered.
What does this say about me? Why aren't my books getting picked up by publishers and having awesome covers designed for them?
Monster is funny, to be sure. It has a fast-paced plot with a spattering of great ideas: paper gnomes, "real" fantasy creatures, ice-cream-eating-yetis, and meta-physics for the non-physicists. It's all great, but there's a strange dichotomy that keeps Monster from really striking home. It's unsure whether it wants to be a fantasy or a comedy. A. Lee Martinez claims to be a "Comic Fantasy" writer, emphasis on the fantasy. But, it seems like he's reaching out for the "Comic" in this book, stepping out of his comfort zone. And, as I've said, it's funny. But he should know his strengths. And so should I. Maybe then I'll be published, too.
So, thanks, A. Lee Martinez, for inspiring me to know myself and learn to write better, like Monster might, if there were a hydra nipping at his coccyx.
Monster is written in a style so similar to my own I had to check my hard drives to make sure that I hadn't written it and published it under a pseudonym while I was black-out drunk that one weekend at my friend's bar mitzvah in Tahoe. But I hadn't. And then I wondered.
What does this say about me? Why aren't my books getting picked up by publishers and having awesome covers designed for them?
Monster is funny, to be sure. It has a fast-paced plot with a spattering of great ideas: paper gnomes, "real" fantasy creatures, ice-cream-eating-yetis, and meta-physics for the non-physicists. It's all great, but there's a strange dichotomy that keeps Monster from really striking home. It's unsure whether it wants to be a fantasy or a comedy. A. Lee Martinez claims to be a "Comic Fantasy" writer, emphasis on the fantasy. But, it seems like he's reaching out for the "Comic" in this book, stepping out of his comfort zone. And, as I've said, it's funny. But he should know his strengths. And so should I. Maybe then I'll be published, too.
So, thanks, A. Lee Martinez, for inspiring me to know myself and learn to write better, like Monster might, if there were a hydra nipping at his coccyx.
August 30, 2024
In this deliciously disgusting and very funny novel, A. Lee Martinez gives us the ups and downs (mostly downs) of being a monster hunter in the modern world.
Monster is the name of our hunter. He captures all sorts of evil monstrositys for money using rune spells and magic. When he gets a call to a supermarket, he meets a woman who's a bit overwhelmed because there's a Yeti in the store's freezer eating all the goods.
Their lives will soon be entangled as she seems to be a magnet for creatures of all kinds and he gets caught up in a cosmic supernatural battle for control, against his will of course.
This novel has enough cryptids to satisfy any monster lover out there while telling a fast paced tale of an "end of the world" scenario. And it's funny. The humor fits right in and you'll find yourself freaked out at these horrors one minute and laughing the next.
I always love a good horror/comedy book and this one is done right. I highly recommend it.
Monster is the name of our hunter. He captures all sorts of evil monstrositys for money using rune spells and magic. When he gets a call to a supermarket, he meets a woman who's a bit overwhelmed because there's a Yeti in the store's freezer eating all the goods.
Their lives will soon be entangled as she seems to be a magnet for creatures of all kinds and he gets caught up in a cosmic supernatural battle for control, against his will of course.
This novel has enough cryptids to satisfy any monster lover out there while telling a fast paced tale of an "end of the world" scenario. And it's funny. The humor fits right in and you'll find yourself freaked out at these horrors one minute and laughing the next.
I always love a good horror/comedy book and this one is done right. I highly recommend it.
August 21, 2018
A fun story of a freelance cryptobiologic rescue and containment specialist named Monster and Judy, a woman who keeps ending up right in the middle of it. It starts off with a yeti in the freezer eating ice cream. They prefer rocky road over vanilla every time. After a things get a little hairy and it’s actually 3 yetis. Our hero Judy who keeps calling the crypto biologic pest control doesn’t have any clue why these things keep happening to her and why she can’t remember exactly what it is that has happened afterwards, but I’d desperate to know and find out. Along with Chester the paper gnome from another dimension, we find out what is causing this sudden influx of crazy creatures.
A fun story that will keep you interested and even cause you to laugh out loud.
A fun story that will keep you interested and even cause you to laugh out loud.
December 18, 2014
So funny and quirky.
December 6, 2014
This book had it's moments where I was laughing so hard I had to wipe tears from my eyes. The paper gnome side kick... THE BEST PART. Very cute and quirky novel about a funny guy.
September 7, 2024
"I didn't really want to say anything, but you've made several dumb decisions tonight. Maybe you should take a moment to consider if this might be another one."
Overall, I quite enjoyed this. Took me a minute to get into it but I enjoyed its quirkiness and world. I liked how things were explained with magic with different types to different species. It was interesting to see just between demons and angels.
Judy did annoy me throughout though. Probably mostly due to her being incog and purely trying to remember/keep track of what was going on. Buut probably not.
I truly appreciated Judy and Monster's relationship here. And how there wasn't a sexual/romantic relationship in the end. Rarely does that not happen. They were even skirting about being friends at the end. This whole bit was refreshing. Especially after Monster's girlfriend and just how things normally work out between male and female characters in general, let alone after big events.
Humor here took me a min to get used to but once I did, I could appreciate it. Ended up liking Monster and how "real" he was. But he was nothing without Chester.
Chester. He was so great. In multiple ways. I'd be interested in a book on him alone, lol.
I really liked how things were explained in the end as well between the different types of cogs and how things went. Thought it was very fitting and understandable.
Anyway, all-in-all, I would definitely check out another by this author.
July 27, 2020
More of a 4.5 but...
V. entertaining. The h is ah...special...and unaware, and inexplicable things keep happening around her...or more precisely, inexplicable beings keep happening around her. We meet her when she finds a yeti in the cooler at the grocery she works in.
The H...and I must note that this is not a romance; but when you have a male main character, and a female main character... anyway, he is also special but unaware. He hunts inexplicable beings.
This tale must have a bad guy...er...girl...an ancient cosmic parasite that has been controlling the center of the universe for...well...forever.
Then there's the center of the universe - so to speak - which has been plotting to wrest control away from said cosmic parasite for as long as they've been connected.
And there are all these mythological creatures that keep popping up around the H, the h, anyone associated with the h... The situations are...v. entertaining.
There's also a lot of cats.
V. entertaining. The h is ah...special...and unaware, and inexplicable things keep happening around her...or more precisely, inexplicable beings keep happening around her. We meet her when she finds a yeti in the cooler at the grocery she works in.
The H...and I must note that this is not a romance; but when you have a male main character, and a female main character... anyway, he is also special but unaware. He hunts inexplicable beings.
This tale must have a bad guy...er...girl...an ancient cosmic parasite that has been controlling the center of the universe for...well...forever.
Then there's the center of the universe - so to speak - which has been plotting to wrest control away from said cosmic parasite for as long as they've been connected.
And there are all these mythological creatures that keep popping up around the H, the h, anyone associated with the h... The situations are...v. entertaining.
There's also a lot of cats.
October 30, 2017
Decent. But the story took me 6 months to get through. I kept getting bored and finding others stories I liked better. The good parts were good though. I have liked other Martinez books way better.
December 5, 2017
Crazy, fun adventure with a cast of characters that you adore.
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