Seashell Virgin

Natcho Mama's Patio Cafe #3

by Steve Schatz

Mystery, Wit & Drag Queens

Homo Heroes vs Politico Ponce Brothers


Fast paced fun. Touching and tawdry. Churchies, crooks, and rapscallions scheme to close our only gay bar, rape a forest, and get rich with a gay hating charter school. Break-ins, kidnapping, threats, blackmail, bondage, and the most spectacular drag show the world has ever seen, thrill and delight you as the anti-heroes from Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe once more answer the call to set things straight, as it were.

A great read. Fast, funny, and funky. The third Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe book has all your favorites – TiaRa del Fuego, impresaria extraordinaire; Nacho Mama, gruff restaurateur; Aunt May, sweet lil ol Southern belle with a thousand lurid stories of her sexual past; BB Singer, anti-hero dropped in the midst of the mess, whose only desire is to escape unscathed with his latest treasure, an 18” statue of the Virgin Mary festooned with seashells; and many more old n new fun and funky friends. The villain is a plastic politico named Ponce (absolutely in NO way resembling any current politician) who looks like a model for the groom on a wedding cake, claims to be driven by gawd, and will do any nasty thing to get what he wants. His brother is much worse.

With the humor of Fletch, the wild adventures of Stephanie Plum, the tenderness of Le Cage, and the camaraderie of Tales of the City, Seashell Virgin highlights life of a band of middle-aged friends seeking to find a bit of joy in Magawatta, a tiny spot of blue in the very red state of Injana.

300 pages, Paperback

Published October 31, 2021

About the author

College professor, clown, theatrical lighting designer, tour guide, television producer, organizational consultant, conference lecturer, focus group supervisor, comedy traffic safety instructor …. Author.

Steve's work is fast paced and fun. Spanning subjects from middle grade ghost stories, YA adventure, adult fiction and mystery, these page turners make you laugh, cry and think.

His stories and poems have appeared in national a regional magazines. His young adult fantasy series, The Adima Chronicles is published by Absolute Love Publishing.

His stories convey a message of the power of friendship and the inner strength that each person has to change the world through intentional creative action. A sense of humor and fun courses through all his work.

He spends his time writing and enjoying this amazing world. He lives in the college town of Bloomington, Indiana with his very patient husband of many years and two cats who allow him to pet them if he is good.

Reviews

[Ida Umphers · Rating 5 out of 5]

These last few years both politically, medically and socially it has often felt like the forces of darkness were winning and it was easy to slip into bitterness. Fortunately, Steve Schatz has channeled any of those feelings he felt into writing another book in the Nacho Mamas series for us. The gang's all here with lots of new friends (and enemies). Mama's bunch continues to fight the good fight in their own inimitable style, confounding and infuriating their enemies with the kind of wit and style that comes from real smarts and love. Read this! It will both give you a mental break and the fuel to get back out there and try to make things right.

[Janet Hunt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic!! this was a really fun read! The story was funny and poignant. The story gripped me from the beginning and didn’t let me go until the end. The world building within the Nacho Mama’s Patio Café series is really great. The characters are fun. It was really well written, highly recommend. I’m voluntarily reviewing from an advanced copy that I received. My reviews are solely based on my thoughts and opinions.

[Brittany Gillam-Perez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book riot read harder challenge: read an author local to you
The B-Town nostalgia in this is through the roof. Love how the author captured the worst (and some of the best) parts in such a charming way

[Juniper · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book pulled me in from the first page. I had no idea what was happening (that’s ok, neither did BB, our narrator) but I knew it was going to be a ride. The whole book, in fact, has a kind of dizzy, absorbing feel: it’s odd, it’s delightful, it’s funny, it’s poignant, and it has, always, a lot going on. I’m not even going to try to summarize the plot or describe the characters: you really just need to see them for yourself. As a point of note, this is book 3 in the Nacho Mamma’s Patio Cafe series, and while it shares a world, and the characters who inhabit it, with previous books in the series, it’s technically not necessary to read previous installments in the series for this one to make sense (if you like this story, however, odds are very good you’ll enjoy the previous novels too!)

*I received an ARC of this book and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[September Withers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Seashell Virgin is a bold, fast paced, and wildly entertaining installment filled with humor, chaos, and heart. Steve Schatz blends satire, mystery, and LGBTQ themes into a vibrant story packed with eccentric characters and outrageous twists. From drag performances to high stakes antics, the narrative is both hilarious and engaging, while still capturing themes of friendship and resilience. With its sharp wit and lively storytelling, this novel delivers a fun, unapologetic, and memorable reading experience.

[Peter · Rating 5 out of 5]

Steve Schatz wrote The Seashell Virgin, part of the Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe Novels. Nacho Mama is a brusque owner of “the proprietor of the cafe, located inside Hoosier Daddy” (Schatz 3). Hoosier Daddy is “the town’s only gay bar” (Schatz 2). The novel occurs in a fictional college town in Indiana (Schatz 68). Nacho Mama “had mysterious interests, talents, and associations that extended far beyond making the best nachos this side of heaven. Nacho was one of those people you turn to in a crisis” (Schatz 3). The narrator of the novel is BB Singer. BB Singer is a librarian and thrift collector who stumbles on a Virgin Mary statue surrounded by seashells. The statue of the Virgin Mary is “standing on a tiny hilltop decorated with shells while a painted river tickled down into a blue plastic pool” (Schatz 21). The statue has a “large abalone shell” (Schatz 21). Singer finds the statue at Opal Hungerford Milbank’s house, a deceased wealthy lady who was friends with Singer’s friends. Singer is quite taken with the statue of the Virgin Mary with seashells. Unfortunately, other people want the statue of the Virgin Mary. The question is why. Also, Hoosier Mary and Nacho Mary’s Patio Cafe is under threat because the lease will expire and might be bought by the anti-LGBTQ church next store. The friends of both BB Singer and Nacho Mama must solve both problems of the lease and why someone wants the statue of the Virgin Mary so much. The two issues are related. Writer Steve Schatz’s Seashell Virgin is an entertaining novel.