Darul. 12 lecții care îți vor salva viața

by Edith Eger

“Povestea lui Edith Eger m-a schimbat pe vecie.” Oprah

Mii de oameni din toată lumea i-au scris lui Edith Eger ca să-i spună cum i-a inspirat Alegerea și cum i-a ajutat să-și înfrunte propriul trecut și să-și vindece propriile răni; totodată, o rugau să scrie o nouă carte, mai practică. Acum, în Darul, Edith Eger povestește cum cea mai cumplită dintre închisorile în care a trăit nu a fost aceea în care au aruncat-o naziștii, ci una pe care și-a creat-o singură, închisoarea propriei minți. Ea descrie 12 dintre cele mai teribile stări și emoții pe care le-a trăit, printre care frica, durerea, mânia, vinovăția sau rușinea, și instrumentele pe care le-a descoperit pentru a putea face față acestor provocări universale.

„Până la urmă, nu ceea ce ni se întâmplă contează cel mai mult, ci ceea ce alegem noi să facem cu aceste întâmplări.” Edith Eva Eger, Darul

„Dr. Edith Eger este genul meu de eroină. A supraviețuit unor orori și brutalități inimaginabile; dar, în loc să lase trecutul s-o distrugă, a ales să-l transforme într-un dar atotputernic – unul pe care-l folosește pentru a-i vindeca pe ceilalți.” Jeannette Walls

„Excepțional... Trecutul unic al lui Eger îi oferă o înțelepciune uimitoare... Mulți oameni își vor găsi mângâierea în sfaturile ei despre depășirea situațiilor dificile.” Bill Gates

Dr. Edith Eva Eger (92 ani) are un cabinet de psihoterapie în La Jolla, California, și ține prele geri la Universitatea California, San Diego.Este, de asemenea, consultant al Forțelor armate și navale ale Statelor Unite pentru formare și tratarea sindromului de stres posttraumatic. Și încă dansează și își încheie fiecare discurs cu un grand battement.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Audiobook, Personal Development, Memoir, Philosophy

224 pages, Unknown Binding

First published September 15, 2020

Reviews

[Ink_Drinker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of those books you will buy as a gift for very special people in your life. It's a true life changing book!!

The book is written by Dr. Edith Eva Ever, a holocaust survivor of Auschwitz. She is 92yrs young and holds a doctorate in Psychology.
Dr. Eger shares the horrors of life at Auschwitz along with personal stories of struggles from her clients in an effort to help others heal from every day challenges we all face. It is such a hopeful book and provides inspiration even in the darkest of times. Dr. Eger really makes you feel like you can beat the worst of odds because she has done it herself!! She will discuss techniques to help you break out of your personal prison and find freedom to live your best life, no matter what your past experiences were. Throughout the whole book, all I kept saying to myself is, I can't believe that Dr. Eger could have had a past like she did and still be so positive and encouraging to others today! I am humbled by her strength and tenacity to not let her past define who she is, but instead Use it to make her stronger and more engaged in life!

I think everyone should read this book! It’s a great reminder to truly live life to the fullest, but it also provides you with ways of being able to do that!! I plan on buying many copies for family and friends because that’s how important I think this book is for everyone!

Thank Edelweiss and Simon & Schuster for providing me with an ARC of this beautiful book in exchange for my unbiased review.

#Edelweiss #TheGift #Simon&Schuster #EdithEvaEger

[Schizanthus Nerd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hope. It’s what lit the fire within my soul when I read The Choice and it’s what made its flame shine even brighter as I made my way through The Gift. Hope that I can do the work that I know I need to do in order to address the pain and trauma I’ve experienced. Hope, because if Edith Eger can do it then so can I. Hope, which Dr Eger defines as “the awareness that suffering, however terrible, is temporary; and the curiosity to discover what happens next.”

One of my takeaways from The Choice was a desire to have the opportunity to be counselled by Dr Eger, a survivor whose experiences, compassion and insight combine to allow her to get to the root of a problem before she lovingly guides you towards the you that you’ve been stifling under layers of pain, anger, [insert relevant adjective/s here], and paralysing what if’s. You may never have the honour of sitting across from Dr Eger in her office but this book is the next best thing.

All therapy is grief work. A process of confronting a life where you expect one thing and get another, a life that brings you the unexpected and unanticipated.

If you’ve already read The Choice then you’ll be familiar with some of the stories of Dr Eger’s life and those of her patients that are included in this book. You’ll also find stories that will be new to you, which help illustrate the points Dr Eger makes as she hands you the keys that will help you unlock the prison of your mind.

To heal doesn’t mean to get over it, but it does mean that we are able to be wounded and whole, to find happiness and fulfillment in our lives despite our loss.

Twelve keys are presented in this book. Dr Eger addresses the prisons of victimhood, avoidance, self-neglect, secrets, guilt and shame, unresolved grief, rigidity, resentment, paralysing fear, judgement, hopelessness, and not forgiving.

At the end of each chapter you’ll find ‘Keys to Free Yourself’. These consolidate what you’ve learned in the chapter and can be used to facilitate your own healing. Some require you to use your imagination. Others provide prompts that you can use in journalling. Then there are some that would be ideal to work through with a therapist.

I like to remind my patients: the opposite of depression is expression.
What comes out of you doesn’t make you sick; what stays in there does.

This is one of those books where it would have been much easier to have highlighted the passages that didn’t speak directly to me. While I discovered the gems in this book in the order Dr Eger has presented them, you don’t need to do this. Each chapter is its own lesson, so you can take what you need when you need it. I know I will be rereading this book from cover to cover in the not too distant future but I also anticipate I’ll be spending more time on specific chapters over time.

Although healing from pain and trauma is serious work, that doesn’t mean there aren’t smiles to be had as you make your way through this book. Currently, my favourite smile-inducing quote is about taking charge:

Don’t be Cinderella, sitting in the kitchen waiting for a guy with a foot fetish.

You could dive into this book without having experienced The Choice but I would recommend reading them in the order of publication. While you can apply the lessons to your life without knowing Dr Eger’s own story, they’re enriched by this knowledge.

Because I know what Dr Eger chose to share in The Choice, I trust her when she outlines what she found helpful. I also can’t give myself an out, claiming something is too difficult, when I have witnessed someone I now have such admiration for working through unimaginable pain and trauma to find freedom.

I now recognize that the most damaging prison is in our mind, and the key is in our pocket. No matter how great our suffering or how strong the bars, it’s possible to break free from whatever’s holding us back.
It is not easy. But it is so worth it.

Content warnings include addiction, death by suicide, domestic violence, eating disorders, grief, gun violence, murder, racism, sexual assault, suicidal ideation and torture.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Rider, an imprint of Ebury Press, Penguin Random House UK, for the opportunity to read this book.

Blog - https://schizanthusnerd.com

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s not what happens to us that matters most, it’s what we do with our experiences.

Many of us make sense of our lives through story and never is this truer than when I read nonfiction books by survivors of horrific acts of cruelty, those who have lived to tell the story and found their way to acceptance and growth. As Elizabeth Kubler Ross noted, ‘the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss and have found their way out of the depths.’

Holocaust survivor, Dr. Edith Eger, is one such beautiful person. What she suffered I cannot begin to fathom, but she chose to make her life a testament to what we can overcome, the lessons she shares in this book are innumerable going far beyond the 12 mental prisons she shares.

In my experience, victims ask, ‘why me?’ Survivors ask, ‘what now?’

As she states, she survived Auschwitz, but it was only the first leg of her journey as she remained a prisoner of her past. Even as she was helping others, she was denying her grief and trauma. From this awareness she developed her therapeutic approach, a blend of insight and cognitive practices she calls choice therapy, acknowledging that suffering is inevitable and universal, but true freedom lies in how we choose to respond.

This is not hippy, dippy self-help, it is a practical guide with exercises and myriad examples from her life and that of others to help us lead more purposeful lives, focusing not on pain and trauma, but what we can learn from it.

There is so much I will take away from this book, but the truest and it may seem simple to others, but something I have to remind myself whenever I am going through a trying time, is that all suffering is temporary. Often we can’t see out of the hole we’re in, but there is light…eventually. And the lessons we take from that darkness, how we choose to incorporate them into our lives, will make the difference as we move forward. That is Dr. Eger’s message and one of this book’s many gifts.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND

[Louise Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Edith Eger brings her own life experiences as a survivor of Auschwitz. We get some great tips in this intriguing story. It's full of wisdom and compassion. The book is well written and easy to understand. There's stories from other survivors of various events. Edith has lots of life experiences. It teaches us new techniques to change how we are feeling/reacting/behaving. Everybody could learn something from reading this well written book about mental health and self care.

I would like to thank #NetGalley, #RandomHouseUK #EburyPublishing and the author #EdithEger for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Negin · Rating 5 out of 5]

“No one can take from you what you’ve put in your mind.”

This is Edith Eger’s second book, and I’ve loved them both. Her first one, The Choice: Embrace the Possible was more of a memoir. This book is a continuation of that one. As with most series, I don’t recommend reading them immediately, back-to-back. I’m thankful that I didn’t. Both are worth reading for everyone, and I would give them infinite stars if I could.

When Edith was sixteen, she and her family were sent to Auschwitz. She is a psychologist and wrote this book when she was 92. Here is what she wrote:

“I earned my doctorate in clinical psychology in 1978 and I’ve been treating patients in a therapeutic setting for over forty years. I have worked with combat veterans and survivors of sexual assault; students, civic leaders, and CEOs; people battling addiction and those struggling with anxiety and depression; couples grappling with resentment and those longing to rekindle intimacy; parents and children learning how to live together and those discovering how to live apart. As a psychologist; as a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother; as an observer of my own and others’ behavior; and as an Auschwitz survivor, I am here to tell you that the worst prison is not the one the Nazis put me in. The worst prison is the one I built for myself.”

Here are some more of my favorite quotes:

Anger
“I’m very selective about who’s going to get my anger, because when I’m angry, I’m the one who suffers.”

Change
“I can. I want. I’m willing. For one day, keep track of every time you say I can’t, I need, I should, and I’m trying. ‘I can’t’ means I won’t. ‘I need’ and ‘I should’ mean I’m abdicating my freedom of choice. And ‘I’m trying’ is lying. Eliminate this language from your vocabulary. You can’t let go of something unless you replace it with something else. Replace the language of fear with something else: I can, I want, I’m willing, I choose, I am. Change is synonymous with growth. Do one thing differently today than you did yesterday. If you always drive the same way to work, take a different route—or ride your bike or take a bus. If you’re usually too rushed or preoccupied to chat with the checker at the grocery store, try making eye contact and conversation. If your family is usually too busy to eat together, try sitting down to a meal together without the TV on or cell phones at the table. These small steps might seem inconsequential, but they actually train your brain to know that you’re capable of change, that nothing is locked in stone, that your choices and possibilities are endless. And getting curious about your life helps turn your anxiety into excitement. You don’t have to stay where you are, how you are, doing what you’re doing. Mix things up. You’re not stuck.”

Curiosity
“Curiosity is vital. It’s what allows us to risk. When we’re full of fear, we’re living in a past that already happened, or a future that hasn’t arrived. When we’re curious, we’re here in the present, eager to discover what’s going to happen next. It’s better to risk and grow, and maybe fail, than to remain imprisoned, never knowing what could have been.”

Feelings
“… as long as you’re avoiding your feelings, you’re denying reality. And if you try to shut something out and say, ‘I don’t want to think about it,’ I guarantee that you’re going to think about it. So invite the feeling in, sit down with it, keep it company. And then decide how long you’re going to hold on to it. Because you’re not a fragile little somebody. It’s good to face every reality. To stop fighting and hiding. To remember that a feeling is just a feeling—it’s not your identity.”

Forgiveness
“Another misconception about forgiveness is that the way to make peace with someone who has harmed us is to say, ‘I’m done with her.’ It doesn’t work that way. It’s not about cutting someone out. It’s about letting go. As long as you say you can’t forgive someone, you’re spending energy being against rather than being for yourself and the life you deserve. To forgive isn’t to give someone permission to keep hurting you. It’s not okay that you were harmed. But it’s already done. No one but you can heal the wound. This kind of release doesn’t come easily. It’s not an overnight process. And lots of things get in the way. A desire for justice, or revenge, an apology, even just acknowledgment.”

Grief and Loss
“To heal doesn’t mean to get over it, but it does mean that we are able to be wounded and whole, to find happiness and fulfillment in our lives despite our loss.”

Hope
“Don’t cover garlic with chocolate. It’s tempting to confuse hope with idealism, but idealism is just another form of denial, a way of evading a true confrontation with suffering. Resiliency and freedom don’t come from pretending away our pain. Listen to the way you talk about a hard or hurtful situation. It’s okay. It’s not that bad. Others have it so much worse. I don’t have anything to complain about. Everything will work out in the end. No pain, no glory! The next time you hear yourself using the language of minimization, delusion, or denial, try replacing the words with: ‘It hurts. And it’s temporary.’ Remind yourself, ‘I’ve survived pain before.’”

Language
“To free yourself from the prison, pay attention to your language. Listen for the I can’t, the I’m trying, the I need to, and then see if you can replace these imprisoning phrases with something else: I can, I want, I’m willing, I choose. This is the language that empowers us to change.”

Life is a Gift
“Life — even with its inevitable trauma, pain, grief, misery, and death — is a gift. A gift we sabotage when we imprison ourselves in our fears of punishment, failure, and abandonment; in our need for approval; in shame and blame; in superiority and inferiority; in our need for power and control. To celebrate the gift of life is to find the gift in everything that happens, even the parts that are difficult, that we’re not sure we can survive. To celebrate life, period. To live with joy, love, and passion.”



Marriage
“’You’re either contributing to the relationship or you’re contaminating it,’ I said. ‘How do each of you contaminate the marriage?’”



Practicing Happiness
“Anything we practice, we become better at. Spend at least five minutes every day savoring pleasant sensations: the first sip of coffee in the morning, the feel of warm sun on your skin or a hug from someone you love, the sound of laughter or rain on the roof, the smell of baking bread. Take time to notice and experience joy. Work, love, play. Make a chart that shows your waking hours each day of the week. Label the time you spend every day working, loving, and playing. (Some activities might fit in more than one category; if so, use all the labels that apply.) Then add up the total hours you spend working, loving, and playing in a typical week. Are the three categories roughly in balance? How could you structure your days differently so you do more of whatever is currently receiving the least of your time? Show yourself some love. Reflect on a time within the last week when someone demanded something of you or asked you for a favor. How did you respond? Was your response out of habit? Necessity? Desire? How did your response feel in your body? Was your response good for you? Now reflect on a time within the last week when you asked—or wanted to ask—someone for help. What did you say? How did it work out? Was your response good for you? What can you do today to be self-ish—to show yourself love and care?”



Thoughts versus Feelings
“When we’re in the habit of denying our feelings, it can be hard even to identify what we’re feeling, much less face it, express it, and finally release it. One way we get stuck is by confusing thoughts with feelings. I’m surprised how often I hear people say things like, ‘I feel I should head downtown this afternoon and run a few errands,’ or, ‘I feel like highlights would really brighten your eyes.’ These aren’t feelings! They’re thoughts. Ideas. Plans. Feelings are energy. With feelings there’s no way out but through. We have to be with them. It takes so much courage to be, without having to do anything about anything—to just simply be.”

Victimhood
“Sometimes it just takes one sentence to point the way out of victimhood: Is it good for me?”

Your Mind
“When hopelessness overwhelmed me, I’d think of what my mother had told me in the dark, crowded cattle car on our way to prison: ‘We don’t know where we’re going. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Just remember, no one can take away what you’ve put in your mind.’”

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Edith Eger is a Holocaust survivor, American psychologist, and specialist in the treatment of PTSD. The Gift is the eagerly awaited follow-up and companion piece to The Choice, her internationally acclaimed memoirs. Endorsed by Oprah, these '12 Lessons to Save Your Life” have more in common with the saccharine sentimentality of Law of Attraction nonsense like The Secret than the more serious work of other Holocaust survivors. Full as it is of nuggets like: “It’s not what happens to us that matters most, it’s what we do with our experiences.” “Loving yourself is the only foundation for wholeness, health, and joy. So, fall in love with yourself!" and “If you’re perfectionistic, you’re competing with God.” You could be reading any other self-help book or Oprah's book club title. Remembering the Holocaust and recording survivor stories is incredibly important. You'd do well to start with Edith Eger's memoirs rather than this title which is an adjunct to that work. For a clear-eyed account of someone's else's personal experiences read Elie Wiesel's devastating Night Trilogy (Night, Dawn, and Day) and for psychological insights and life-affirming motifs read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.

[Stefany Ramírez · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Lo contrario a la depresión es la expresión".

Esa frase me hizo mucho sentido mientras estoy en terapia y con medicamentos, especialmente porque mi depresión está muy ligada a no ser yo misma, a no atreverme a expresar y soltar.

El libro es maravilloso. Aunque es un libro de autoayuda, lleno de consejos, no se siente que te den mil cachetadas de realidad, sino mil abracitos de comprensión, reflexión y calidez. Desde varias experiencias de diferentes personas (y de ella misma) va mostrando las cárceles que nos autoimponemos, los miedos que aprendemos, la culpa que sentimos. Admito que los primeros capítulos conectaron más conmigo que los últimos, pero realmente es un buen libro por si se sienten algo perdidos o desean reforzar terapia (al menos así lo sentí).

[Marilyn (not getting notifications) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Edith Eger’s second book, The Gift:12 Lessons to Save Your Life was a work of love, hope, searching and choices. It was so well written using relatable stories from her own life and from some of her patients. The stories she shared had the propose to inspire and teach. Edith Eger felt that those darkest times in life could be turned around into something positive. Everyone was given a choice when faced with death, sadness, loss, failure, anxiety, depression or any other feelings. One could choose to embrace those feelings and give in to them or learn to overcome those feelings and live every second of life as a precious gift. In Eger’s words, “ Life-even with its inevitable trauma, pain, grief, misery, and death-is a gift. A gift we sabotage when we imprison ourselves in our fears of punishment, failure, and abandonment; in our need for approval; in shame and blame; in superiority and inferiority; in our need for power and control. To celebrate the gift of life is to find the gift in everything that happens, even the parts that are difficult, that we’re not sure we can survive. To celebrate life, period. To live with joy, love and passion.”

Edith Eger embraced those lessons and beliefs as a young girl and they helped her survive Auschwitz. Today she continues to impart those very same lessons she learned as a young girl to encourage her patients to make good choices and choose to celebrate life. I am so glad I got to read Edith Eger’s second book. She is a woman that has accomplished so much and has given back so much to others. I admire and respect her enormously. The Choice was an exceptional book in my opinion. It was in a category of its own but The Gift was an amazing book with clear messages. I highly recommend this book.

[Louise Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Edith Eger brings her own life experiences as a survivor of Auschwit.z. We get some great tips in this intriguing story. It's full of wisdom and compassion. The book is well written and easy to understand. There's stories from other survivors of various events. Edith has lots life experiences. It teaches us new techniques to change how we are feeling/reacting/behaving. Everybody could learn something from reading this well written book about mental health and self care.

I would like to thank #NetGalley, #RandomHouseUK #EburyPublishing and the author #EdithEger for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Olenka Dobosh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Абсолютно рекомендую, книга для широкого кола читачів від людини з унікальним життєвим досвідом, а що не менше важливо - від професіонала своєї справи, психолога, психотерапевта, жінки, яка стала продовженням родини, яку намагались знищити.
Цінно, що читаю цю книгу в 2022, влітку, коли ми переживаємо війну в Україні, і багато порад, якими ділиться авторка є дуже актуальними як ніколи для нас.

[Katherine · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, but I didn’t. Maybe listening to it as an audiobook caused the author’s repeated mention of herself and her family to be more irritating? I felt, more than workable info, this book was a lengthy recounting of her own story with a few pieces of corny advice thrown in. At one point, she literally states “Just because someone calls you a poopyhead doesn’t mean you’ve got to call them a poopyhead,” and, sadly, the bulk of the other advice was similarly trite.

[Gohnar23 · Rating 5 out of 5]

#️⃣2️⃣4️⃣6️⃣ Read & Reviewed in 2025 🐠 🍭
Date 🌬️: Saturday, May 24, 2025 ☄️
Word Count📃: 58k Words,

╔⏤⏤⏤╝❀🌸💮🌸❀╚⏤⏤⏤╗
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡ My 54th read in summertime read-a-thon "since idk wtf to do with my life for one thousand — two hundred — twenty four hours straight" (⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠ ⁠)

5️⃣🌟, exactly how you do a helpful book
——————————————————————
➕➖0️⃣1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣4️⃣5️⃣6️⃣7️⃣8️⃣9️⃣🔟✖️➗

12 chapters, 12 lessons. It's not promoting itself or marketing itself to be this 'book that will change your entire life' it's just 12 lessons, all with their varying importance in your life. Straight from the stories and experiences of many different lenses of others' going through their obstacles and victories and what they learned from it. Dr. Edith Eger is actually a holocaust survivor of Auschwitz, and bit by bit she tells her story in this book but not too much to the point for it just becomes a memoir. I don't know about holocaust survivors writing books but it all just progressively becomes one of the best forms of literature whenever that happens. She holds a doctorate in Psychology which just makes sense and how i actually think that these advices are more helpful than other books, this book is more credible. From her very intriguing story we are inspired and motivated and all throughout we learn great knowledge and wisdom, all of it i know will touch your heart strings and will hold such special place in your life. From the haystack of silly and (mostly shitty) self help books, we get one that holds such importance and valuable lessons that we should all read and know of from freedom to hapiness and letting go to achieving what we really wanted in this world. From our feelings of anger to love appreciation and acceptance, it's all basically here! HIGHLY RECOMMENDDDDD
D

DDDDDDDD

[Nadia Nellestein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twee jaar geleden begon ik dit boek te lezen. Toen heb ik het een tijdje weg gelegd, om de inhoud ook even tijd te geven om te landen. Want dit is niet zomaar een verhaal. Dit is het verhaal van de Hongaars Joodse Edith Eger die naast gevierd therapeut ook een holocaustoverlever is.

Deze bijzondere vrouw deelt haar levenslessen in dit boek ‘Het Geschenk’. Je leert om je slechtste momenten te zien als je beste leermeester, staat er zo mooi geschreven op de achterkant.

Edith Eger wist Auschwitz niet alleen te overleven. Ze wist daarna tot bloei te komen en heeft met haar leven (nog steeds) een grote impact gemaakt.

Mooie passage:
“Mijn leidinggevende kwam naar me toe en zei: ‘Edie, je moet je doctoraat halen.’

Ik lachte. ‘Tegen de tijd dat ik een doctoraat heb, ben ik vijftig.’ Zei ik.

‘Wel of geen doctoraat, vijftig word je toch.’

Dat waren de slimste acht woorden die iemand ooit tegen me had gezegd. Lieverd, je wordt vijftig ongeacht wat je doet; of dertig of zestig of negentig. Dus je kunt net zo goed een risico nemen. Doe iets wat je nog nooit heb gedaan. Verandering is synoniem aan groei.”

Dit is een vrouw om naar te luisteren. Wat een geschenk. Wat een inspiratie. 5 sterren!

[Madeleine Black · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much of this book resonated with me! Although I have a very different story to Dr Eger's, I also recognised that I had a choice in how I respond to what was done to me and how I want to live my life.

I refused to be identified by what had happened to me (gang raped at 13) and chose to take back my power by living my life as well as I can.

I think this will be a great self help guide to anyone that is struggling or feels stuck in life. She offers such wisdom not only through her professional achievements but her incredible story of survival

"Even a Nazi can be a messenger of God. This boy was my best teacher, guiding me to the choice I always have to replace judgement with compassion - to recognise our shared humanity and practice love"

"To celebrate the gift of life is to find the gift in everything that happens, even the parts that are difficult, that we're not sure we can survive. To celebrate ;life, period. To Live with joy, love and passion"

[Platon Cristina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Edith Eva Eger vine să ne aducă un dar, și aume „Darul. 12 lecții care îți vor salva viața”, o carte în care își găsește ecoul o altă operă de-a autoarei,„Alegerea”, o carte superbă de memorii despre supraviețuire în lagărele naziste și despre puterea de confruntare cu propriile frici și neliniști.

Pentru mulți cititori această carte ar putea pica la țanc pentru stări de deznădejde și pierdere de sine. Dr. Eger ne oferă situații exacte, ne punctează problemele existente și ne dăruiește soluții și exerciții pentru fiecare dintre cazuri în parte. Da, e plină de durere și groază, dar nu se putea altfel. Dacă vrei să găsești dezlegarea unui conflict, trebuie să vezi amploarea cazului, cu bune și rele.

Scrisă profesional, onest, înțelept, autoarea ne-a oferit cartea ca pe o profilaxie a violenței, abuzului și a presiunii de orice fel.

Mulți cititori pot vedea abisul propriei vieți văzând scrisă pe hârtie istoria dramei pe care o trăiesc. Citind, poți vedea clar devierea inumană în care te afli, iar sfaturile și încurajările pe care le găsești aici te pot ajuta să-i pui capăt sau să iei măsuri pentru a schimba cursul situației în care te-ai pomenit.

Nu-mi pot imagina coșmarul pe care l-a trăit dna Eger la Auschwitz, în acel iad pe pământ, care i-a răpit familia, sufletul, propria persoană, însă d-ei a ales, prin propriul exemplu, să ne învețe lecțiile pe care le putem lua drept povață, iar cele 12 exemple pe care ni le aduce se multiplică dacă citim bine printre rânduri.

Deși coșmarul din lagăr a luat sfârșit, trauma trecutului e cea care a bântuit-o mult timp după. D-ei, acum liberă, a rămas încă acea prizonieră sleită, înfrigurată, orfană de drepturi. Propria traumă a determinat-o s-o ia pe drumul tămăduirii durerii altora, ea însăși să ne fie, prin terapie și scris, alinarea de care a fost lipsită și care a lăsat-o cu sechele.


„Darul” e o carte terapeutică, e mâna care dă jos vălul de pe ochi și ne pune față în față cu fricile care așteaptă să ne doboare. „Darul” ne face să înțelegem că suferința e inevitabilă și universală, și că libertatea autentică ține de felul cum îi ținem piept.

Nu veți găsi o carte motivațională mediocră ce vă va elibera în doi pași și trei mișcări de toate problemele și durerile printr-o listă de „ce să faci” și „ce să nu faci”. E o carte-exercițiu, un ghid cu exemple și soluții din viața autoarei și din viața altor oameni care ne fac să palpăm bine terenul problemei, care nu ne va concentra pe durere, frică și traumă, ci pe consecințe, pe sine, pe aptitudinile pe care le putem însuși învățând să ținem piept provocărilor.

„Darul” e cartea care merită atenția fiecăruia. Nimic nou, s-ar părea, dar starea de spirit pe care o poartă e foarte necesară pentru a face față haosului zilnic. Cartea vă face să ridicați capul semeț, să priviți în zare și să confruntați viața cu de toate cu care vine la pachet, și bune și rele, cu plăcute și mai puțin.

[8stitches 9lives · Rating 4 out of 5]

This practical and inspirational guide to healing from the award-winning, New York Times bestselling author of The Choice shows us how to stop destructive patterns and imprisoning thoughts to find freedom and enjoy life. After the success of Edith Eger’s powerful first book The Choice which tells the story of her survival in the concentration camps, her escape, healing, and journey to freedom, thousands of people around the world wrote to Eger asking her to pen a how-to book on healing from pain and past experiences. The Gift is that book. Eger expands on her message of healing and provides a hands-on guide that gently encourages us to change the thoughts and behaviors that may be keeping us imprisoned in the past. Eger explains that the worst prison she experienced is not the prison that Nazis put her in but the one she created for herself, the prison within her own mind. She describes the twelve most pervasive imprisoning beliefs she has known—including fear, grief, anger, secrets, stress, guilt, shame, and avoidance—and the tools she has discovered to deal with these universal challenges.

Accompanied by stories from Eger’s own life and the lives of her patients each chapter includes thought-provoking questions and takeaways. Filled with empathy, insight, and humor, The Gift captures the vulnerability and common challenges we all face and provides encouragement and advice for breaking out of our personal prisons to find healing and enjoy life. It is an inspirational, moving and hopeful book which asks us to confront our truths and actively work to move forward from them. I found the part that states that tough and trying times are the times that teach you the most in life was a great way of turning a negative incident into a positive learning experience which is a really helpful way to deal with what life throws your way. Eger’s own past reminds us that no matter how large or small the problem is that you have faced or are currently facing, there is still hope for a bright and fulfilling future. This is a book that should, and deserves to, be read widely. A book simply oozing with compassion, empathy and wisdom. Highly recommended. Many thanks to Rider for an ARC.

[Gerberaliteraria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sin duda está señora es una de mis grandes ídolas. Un libro que me ha emocionado y hecho aprender muchísimo sobre la mente humana y ciertamente me ha ayudado en un momento difícil a conocerme y a saber gestionar muchas de mis emociones y a hacerme y responderme grandes cuestiones de mi vida.
Un libro que no sólo tenéis que leer sino releer, o al menos eso haré yo siempre que pueda para recordarme las grandes enseñanzas que esta valiente mujer nos ha regalado a través de este maravilloso libro.
Mil gracias a la autora por compartir sus aprendizajes y por ayudar cada día a tanta gente. Bravo por ella, ojalá mucha gente fuese solo la cuarta parte de lo que ella demuestra en este libro.

[Benedek · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just skip this one especially if you have red The Choice by Edith Eger, the same ideas are receicled here also. If you haven't red then skip this one and read the choice! All respect for the author that she was able to write this book at 92 and it's nice to hear her story but otherwise is a waste of time. It's not a terrible book don't get me wrong, it's a nice easy read just a total waste of time :)

[Inga Grencberga · Rating 5 out of 5]

celebrate the GIFT of life

Nesen latviešu valodā izdota Edītes Egeres grāmata «IZVĒLE» (Zvaigzne ABC), šī grāmata «DĀVANA» ir uzrakstīta pēc tās, kā brīnišķīgs un jēgpilns papildinājums, ar daudziem skaidrojumiem emocijām un atbildēm uz jautājumiem, kuri palika un radās pēc IZVĒLES izlasīšanas.

Edīte Egere ir iedvesmojoša: izdzīvot Aušvicas holokausta nāves nometnē un ar savu dzīves pieredzi, svinēt un iedrošināt lasītāju un klausītāju milijoniem dzīves visā pasaulē!

[Христо Блажев · Rating 4 out of 5]

Дарът на Едит Егер е свободата: http://knigolandia.info/book-review/d...

Ще забележите, че цитатите, които съм поместил тук, присъстват и на задната корица – реших, че самата Егер най-добре може да опише своя път и как той е я е отвел до това да помага на безброй хора и в преклонната си възраст да се радва на безмерно уважение в света не просто като оцеленец от концлагер, но и като човек, отдаден на това да помага на другите с всичко, което знае и което е преживяла. В своята книга тя говори за дванадесет ментални затвора, които са универсални за хората по целия свят, и освобождаването от които е нужно:

CIELA Books
http://knigolandia.info/book-review/d...

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow, this book will change your life and save you a fortune in therapy fees.
Everyone needs to read this book.
It’s a game charger!!!

[Shaza ╭♥╯ Hashish · Rating 5 out of 5]

ريكومندد بشدة لاي حد مر بصدمة مش عارف يتجاوزها ولأي حد حاسس أنه "فيه حاجة غلط" . لا اعتقد أن فيه حد مش محتاج الكتاب دة

[Esther · Rating 4 out of 5]

Conocí la experiencia e historia de Edith Eger a través de "La Bailarina de Auschwitz" (libro que recomiendo bastante). Escogí este por leer más sobre ella y es que me parece casi obligado saber más sobre la autora y de todo su proceso de superación/psicológico tras haber pasado por un campo de exterminio.

Para mí es la manera de leer este libro, no como si fuera un manual de autoayuda, aunque creo que puede parecerlo. Edith es brillante e inspiradora, de ahí mis 4*, pero solo por el riesgo de "confundir" la lectura en un manual de autopsicología, recomendaría mejor La Bailarina.

[Barbara Jimenez · Rating 5 out of 5]

A true gift for the soul! A most read for everyone! A life-changer practical guide that reminds us that each and everyone of us has the choice of seeing the gift in everything and every situation!

- Our worst experiences can be our best teachers.

- It’s not what happens to us that matters most, it’s what we do with our experiences.

- The most damaging prison is in our mind and the key is in our pocket.

- Suffering is universal, victimhood is optional.

- What comes out of you doesn’t make you sick, what stays in there does.

- You can’t heal what you don’t feel.

-When is enough, enough.

- May you be more and more you every day.

- Time doesn’t heal. It’s what you do with the time.

- Love isn’t what you feel. It’s what you do.

- We’re all victims of victims. How far back do you want to go, searching for the source? It’s better to start with yourself.

- We’re born to love. We learn to hate. It’s up to us what we reach for.

- Forgivenes isn’t something we do for the person who’s hurt us. It’s something we do for ourselves, so we’re no longer victims or prisoners of the past, so we can stop carrying a burden that harbors nothing but pain.

[Ebtihal Salman · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some good thoughts of wisdom here, but it’s buried under huge load of non-interesting repeated stories. I was more inspired in the first few chapters, but less interested toward the final chapters.

[Dan Connors · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Edith Eger, age 92 at the publishing of this book, is a worldwide treasure and an amazing human being. Earlier, I reviewed her first book, The Choice, (check it out here), which was an amazing journey into her experiences during the holocaust- her days at Auschwitz, near-death experience at the end of the war, and remarkable recovery and escape from communism to end up as a psychologist in Texas.

While The Choice was a chronicle of her life story and how she ended up in the psychology field, The Gift is her gift to the world on how to escape the prisons of grief and sorrow from someone who's done it. While Dr. Eger mentions her experiences with the Nazi's somewhat in this book, most of it is focused on the current day and what some of her current patients have taught her.

This book is divided into 12 brief chapters, each one devoted to different ways we imprison ourselves. She provides snippets from her life and the lives of others to illustrate how being imprisoned limits us and how to break free. Examples of prisons include victim-hood, avoidance, guilt, grief, resentment and judgment.

I cannot even begin to imagine the tragedy and sorrow that Dr. Eger witnessed, after watching her parents be sent to their deaths, having to dance before Josef Mengele, and enduring constant abuse at the hands of the Nazis. Nazi Germany was about as dysfunctional and evil as humanity has ever managed, and for someone to survive and thrive after experiencing that- they have to be an incredibly strong person.

One chapter is fittingly titled "The Nazi in You", and it's compelling reading today when alt-right militia groups are rearing their hatreds in cities all over America. Let go of judgment, Dr. Eger advises us, starting with yourself. We all have a Nazi within us and are capable of withholding compassion from others. Hatred is learned, and we need to learn from other's mistakes and release the past.

If anyone has a right to claim victimization, it's survivors of the Holocaust. But Dr. Eger says suffering is universal, victimhood is optional. She advises us to think like a survivor and ask what now instead of why me. Victimhood is just another prison we construct for ourselves in order to blame the past, and run away from responsibility for creating our future.

The opposite of depression is expression, Dr. Eger states more than once in this book. She advises all victims of bad luck, hate, or tragedy to feel the feelings so that they can heal. Everything is temporary. Don't avoid pain- let it come and then let it go.

At the end of each chapter Dr. Eger presents a helpful summary combined with concrete action steps, like "spend a day listening to your self-talk", or "visualize a person with whom you're experiencing conflict, and then envision this person's highest self." It almost makes you feel like she's right there in the room with you prodding you with advice on how to get moving and put this book into action in your life.

The 12 prisons make a nice metaphor for the structure of the book, and Dr. Eger is open and honest with her own experiences that kept her imprisoned and limited. At age 92, she's worked on herself extensively after surviving a war, moving to America, raising a family, and going back to school to get a PhD.

Hearing this strong little woman tell her story made me think my problems are tiny by comparison. If she could make it, so can all of us. Her close brushes with death and disaster have prompted her to get stronger and eventually help others. She as a lot in common with Victor Frankl and his book Man's Search For Meaning. With people today still doubting that the holocaust ever happened, and with fear, anxiety, and hatred raising their ugly heads as people look for others to blame for their problems, books like this are essential. I recommend both The Choice and The Gift very strongly.



10 Inspiring Quotes from Dr. Edith Eger's The Gift

- "Freedom means accepting our whole, imperfect selves and giving up on the need for perfection."

- "As long as you're avoiding your feelings, you're denying reality. Invite the feeling in, sit down with it, keep it company. And then decide how long you're going to hold onto it."

- "Would you like to be married to you?"

- "Healing can't happen as long as we're hiding or disowning parts of ourselves. The things we silence or cover up become like hostages in the basement, trying more and more desperately to get our attention."

- "There were two things I hoped she could let go of: guilt and worry. "Guilt is in the past," I told her. "Worry is in the future. The only thing you can change is right here in the present."

-“When you turn the other cheek, you look at the same thing from a new perspective. You can’t change the situation, you can’t change someone else’s mind, but you can look at reality differently. You can accept and integrate multiple points of view. This flexibility”

- “Hope isn’t the white paint we use to mask our suffering. It’s an investment in curiosity. A recognition that if we give up now, we’ll never get to see what happens next.”

- “But as long as you’re avoiding your feelings, you’re denying reality. And if you try to shut something out and say, “I don’t want to think about it,” I guarantee that you’re going to think about it. So invite the feeling in, sit down with it, keep it company. And then decide how long you’re going to hold on to it. Because you’re not a fragile little somebody. It’s good to face every reality. To stop fighting and hiding. To remember that a feeling is just a feeling—it’s not your identity.”

- “No more don’t, don’t, don’t,” I told her. “I want to give you lots of dos. I do have a choice. I do have a life to live. I do have a role. I do live in the present. I do pay attention to what I’m focusing on, and it’s definitely in alignment with the goals I’m choosing: what gives me pleasure, what gives me joy.”

- "I used to ask "Why me? But now I ask "Why not me?" Perhaps I survived so I can choose what to do with what happened, and how to be here now. So I can show others how to choose life, so my parents and all the innocents didn't die in vain. So I can turn all the lessons I learned in hell into a gift I offer you now: the opportunity to decide what kind of life you want to have, to discover the untapped potential lying in the shadows, to reveal and reclaim who you really are."

[Tudor Crețu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Darul este o carte de exercitii, un ghid practic al vindecarii de doctor Eger construita pe Alegerea - povestea vietii ei ca supraviețuitoare la Auschwitz.

Este o lectura facila, care se concentreaza mai mult pe aspectele vietii de zi cu zi si cum ne putem elibera de anumite "inchisori" in care ne incatusam de unii singuri decat pe a continua cu alte povesti din lagar.

Exploreaza multe concepte din psihanaliza (cu putina tangenta si spre stoicism) si ofera solutii la cum sa nu te mai victimezezi si sa incepi sa te iubesti. Cam toate solutiile sunt la noi, spune Eger si le putem gasi prin introspectie, exercitii sau/si cu ajutorul unui psiholog.

[Kate Potapenko · Rating 2 out of 5]

Concept of the book sounds promising and I was looking forward to discovering all it has to offer, however I really didn't like the way the author is explaining to us how to avoid those traps. She starts with telling us she's an Auschwitz survivor, but it doesn't really matter, however it is being brought up so many times, that you can't help but constantly think of survivors and comparing your suffering/problems to theirs and that ruins the whole book, it loses its point.. Sadly I was very disappointed in it.
Thank you #NetGalley for my free copy

[Ivona Munteanu · Rating 5 out of 5]

M-a deranjat subtitlul de self-help victorios, atoateştiutor, dar cartea nu e din zona aceea. Îmi plăcuse mult ,,Alegerea" şi am avut încredere. În plus, e de la Anansi:) E autenticā şi plinā de umanitate şi de speranțā. Am avut şansa sā cunosc şi în realitate o supraviețuitoare a Holocaustului şi vocea lui Edith Eger mi-a lāsat aceeaşi impresie, de bunātate inteligentă şi de înțelegere profundā pentru infinitele nuanțe ale omenescului, dintre alb şi negru. E genul de carte pe care aş face-o cadou tuturor prietenilor sau celor care trec prin poveşti greu de dus.

[Sara]

DNF. I made it past 60% and stopped reading it. I’ll try to pick it up another time. It wasn’t resonating with me. The author survived unspeakable horrors and while that was captivating I didn’t find her clinical frank detached style of moving through things palatable. She said a lot of things I believe to be true and practice in my own life. I just don’t think now was the right time for me and this book.