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Am I Guilty?

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A mother’s job is to protect her child… But everyone makes mistakes sometimes

Gripping, exciting and emotional, this book will grab you from the first page and refuse to let you go until the final chapter!

I never thought it would happen to me…
 
One moment I had it all – a gorgeous husband, a beautiful home, a fulfilling career and two adorable children. The next, everything came crashing down around me.
 
They said it was my fault. They said I’m the worst mother in the world. And even though I can’t remember what happened that day, they wouldn’t lie to me. These are my friends, my family, people I trust.
 
But then why do I have this creeping sensation that something is wrong? Why do I feel like people are keeping secrets? Am I really as guilty as they say? And if I’m not, what will happen when the truth comes out…?

Perfect for fans of Liane Moriarty, Shari Lapena and Lisa Jewell

310 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 19, 2019

3816 people are currently reading
3630 people want to read

About the author

Jackie Kabler

19 books429 followers
Jackie Kabler is a journalist, TV presenter and author. She spent twenty years as a TV news reporter for GMTV, ITV and BBC news, and now works as a presenter for shopping channel QVC and is author of the Cora Baxter Mysteries, a series of murder mysteries set in a television newsroom.

The Development is her third novel. Jackie lives in Gloucestershire with her husband, who is a GP.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 601 reviews
Profile Image for Sue.
1,417 reviews5 followers
June 22, 2019
AM I GUILTY? Is a gripping psychological crime thriller by author Jackie Kabler, dealing with a very sensitive subject…the death of a baby left in the car on a hot summer day. I was completely absorbed in this story, told from various viewpoints, about a mother's worst nightmare.

A mother’s job is to protect her child. But everyone makes mistakes...
I never thought it would happen to me…

One moment I had it all – a gorgeous husband, a beautiful home, a fulfilling career and two adorable children. The next, everything came crashing down around me.

Thea had it all, a husband, Rupert and two children-Nell eight-years old and Zander, an infant, living in a beautiful home. Thea ran her own children’s online Clothing Company. But Thea had a drinking problem, and was easily swayed to go out drinking weekend evenings when her single best friend, Isla, the party girl was in town.

Annabelle is married to Greg with three children-Millie, who is best friends with Nell, Oliver eleven years old and Sienna the youngest child, a three- year old toddler. Annabelle runs her own business, an events management company.

Flora worked originally for Thea as a personal assistant, until the tragic event and then went to work for Annabelle, as a personal assistant, live-in, like a nanny, helping with the kids but mostly with the business.

But then Thea’s world fell apart…when she left her infant son, Zander in a sweltering hot car, after a boozy meal out with her best friend. How could Thea do such a horrific thing?

They said it was her fault, the worst mother in the world. And even worse, Thea had memory loss since that tragic day! Even her friends and family think she is a monster.

Now on trial for her son’s murder, she returns to drinking, and pushing an empty pram around with no baby anymore.

Then Thea starts to remember things, fragments of memories different that are starting to flood her mind. These flashbacks/memories are different from what was told at the time. Things about the day Zander died…things that didn’t make sense.

So many secrets and lies…and Thea is determined to find out the truth!

This is an outstanding psychological crime thriller novel, and one of the best reads I have read this year! This novel moves at a steady pace, full of twists and turns, totally gripping the reader for the suspense ride from beginning to end. I kept flipping the pages as I had to know what had happened, the ending a total surprise.

I am not going to say anymore as I don’t want to give the plot away, but this is a very riveting and powerful story. I loved it. All I can say is read this book… I don’t think you will be disappointed.

Many thanks to the author, Killer Reads, Harper Collins, the TBC Reviewer Request Group (FB) and NetGalley for my digital copy.
Profile Image for Misty Marie Harms.
559 reviews727 followers
February 7, 2022
One moment I had it all – a gorgeous husband, a beautiful home, a fulfilling career and two adorable children. The next, everything came crashing down around me.

Your life can change in one split second. From the start, we know Thea has done something horrible. Six months ago, Thea's life was turned upside down by something she did. Disgusted glances, hushed whispers every time she steps out the door. Her own shame is consuming her. I thought I figured out what Thea did several times, and I was wrong. Each chapter builds the tension until the very end. When you find out what she did, can you forgive her? Or will you decide she is guilty.

Profile Image for ReadAlongWithSue recovering from a stroke★⋆. ࿐࿔.
2,884 reviews430 followers
September 23, 2020
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A very tense read.
It has all the emotional tropes to satisfy any reader that relates to Moms, children and family.

A shocking story, a shocking revelation.

With an epilogue that will blow your mind.

I “read” on audio. Two narrators however, were not my favourites. And the sound effects got on my nerves, for example, the phone ringing.

That a part didn’t distract from my enjoyment of the story.

Wonderfully written.
Profile Image for Louise Wilson.
3,655 reviews1,690 followers
April 13, 2019
One moment I had it all - a gorgeous husband, a beautiful home, a fulfilling career and two adorable children. Next it came crashing down around me.

I loved this book. It had me gripped from the first few chapters. It's full of twists and the suspense just grows with each turn of the page. Thea's life has just been shattered by the death of her son Zander. Thea is accused of his death. The events leading up to the tragedy, Thea can't remember but she believes what she is being told, that she is solely responsible for her sons death. This is a fast paced, well written book and I just couldn't put it down. I do recommend this book.

I would like to thank NetGalley, Killer Reads, HarperCollins and the author Jackie Kabler for my ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Mandy White (mandylovestoread).
2,778 reviews849 followers
April 13, 2019
First of all with that cover how can you resist this book! Stunning!!

Am I Guilty is certainly a rollercoaster of emotions with a tough subject at the core. There are times when you feel sorry for the characters and other times that you want to strangle them. The ending completely threw me - I did pick what had happened and sort of who but not the twist the author spun - very clever. It was a bit slow to begin with but once it got going it never really let go - a great book about a hard subject.

One tragic event, a mistake by a mother, changes the lives of so many people. Thea can't remember a lot of what happened that fateful day but is told a story that breaks her. Without saying too much something happens to her child that you would never wish on anybody. Thea is told that she is to blame, but she can't believe that she would do it. As the trial looms she slowly starts to regain her memory and realises that somebody close to her has done this to her - but why and how? All the characters have secrets that they want to stay hidden.

Thanks to Killer Reads, Harper Collins and Netgalley for my advanced copy of this book to read. All opinions are my own and are in no way biased.
Profile Image for DJ Sakata.
3,299 reviews1,779 followers
February 10, 2021
Favorite Quotes:

… it happened again. A weird, crawling sensation, like a bony hand running up my spine… A strange, shivery feeling, that had nothing to do with being cold. A feeling of unease, so intense that it was almost a physical sensation. This morning it had come and gone in a flash, and I’d put it down to being in that odd, semi-awake state but now, as I leaned against the kitchen counter, it stayed, first that shiver up my back, then a sense that something was trying to wriggle its way into my consciousness, a voice far, far too tiny for me to hear trying to make itself audible. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, trying to listen, but just as quickly as it had arrived, the feeling was fading again, and then it was gone.

He’s just an idiot boy, Mum. Sienna can be a bit bratty but he’s so horrible to her. Can’t you send him away to boarding school or something? You know, like those old-fashioned ones in films where the teachers will hit him with sticks and make him eat slugs for dinner?


My Review:

This was a book of multiples - multiple POVs, multiple suspects, multiple twists and misdirections, multiple liars committing multiple selfish and consciously deceitful acts. Any tale involving the death of a child will undoubtedly be a heart squeezer whether the fatality was accidental or something more heinous, and I was back and forth in my theories of which type of act resulted in the death of eight-month-old Zander.

So many secrets were swirling and compounding the issues. The characters were first presented in a singular dimension with all fingers pointing toward the mother, whose shock and overindulgence of alcohol had blanked her memories of the day. But as the trial date approached, odd pricklings of recall were itching at her brain, were they real or wishful thinking? And the myriad other characters were not at all trustworthy and were all rather vile creatures.

The premise was heartbreaking while the characters were all deeply flawed and tainted with duplicity yet oddly compelling and continually pricking at my curiosity. The storylines were slowly paced and tense in tone, full of angst, despair, regret, guilt, anger, and anxiety while compelling and craftily hinting at undercurrents of subterfuge and deception. I was taut with tension and biting my cuticles as my hypotheses bounced among the various suspects, and while I was partly correct I would never have put it all together or as cleverly as this cringe-worthy conclusion. This was my first experience reading the well-crafted words of Jackie Kabler and I am kicking myself for not noticing her prior works, she’s got mad word skillz!
Profile Image for Rachel.
1,454 reviews153 followers
January 3, 2020
*thank you to Netgalley, Jackie Kabler and Killer Reads, HarperCollins for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review*


2 stars.

Ohh gosh am I sticking out like a sore thumb with this review! It has so so many high and amazing reviews that I am definitely stating right now that it's me and not the book that's the problem. 

I just found it too slow and at times dull. My mind kept drifting and I wasn't interested. At the beginning I was, I thought the story would pick up it's pace and totally capture my attention, forcing me along at a rapid speed of shocks a be surprises. Umm, no. I didn't do this at all. I also started to forget who the narrator was at times and had to check back at the start of each chapter to figure out who was speaking. Which as most of you know, can get a tad annoying. I'll add that with beginning this book, you really need to read a large chunk of it to get a good idea of who's who but maybe that's just me? 

It wasn't all bad which is why I'm giving it two stars which means it was OK. There were parts that I liked. Just small scenes here and there and the writing was quite good. It flowed well.

I will say that I am willing to give this another go if I feel like it at some stage just because I'm left feeling like I must have missed something because everyone is loving this book. And now that I'm aware of the speed of the story, that will make a difference second time round I think.

While I personally didn't like it, this is one of those times I would tell you to give it a go. You will probably love it. Unless you are like me and are expecting something really fast paced.
Profile Image for Linda Strong.
3,878 reviews1,708 followers
June 22, 2019

Thea pushes a pram to go to the store ... only the pram is empty. People turn away from her .. or call her names ... or call her a murderer.

She doesn't remember what happened the night Zander died ... beautiful Zander with the white blonde hair and startling blue eyes. But Thea confessed .. or so they tell her.

Still under a doctor's care for her memory lapse, Thea begins to remember ... or is it what she truly wants to believe? Why does she feel that her family, her friends, have all lied .. are hiding secrets? And if she's not guilty of killing her child, then who is?

This is an emotional roller coaster showcasing a family torn apart by tragedy. Thea is a multi-layered character. She's always been a strong woman, having a handsome husband, lovely children, and running her own successful business from home. Today, she's a wreck. Filled with sadness, guilt, missing her husband who has now abandoned her ... she's trying to stay away from the bottles of alcohol in order to survive each day.

The story is told by different voices other than Thea. We also hear from the woman who was her assistant ... her best friend ... a friend and her husband who live close by. They all seem to have issues of one kind or another and they all certainly have secrets .... and several of them have secrets that will destroy more lives.

This one grabbed me from the very first and didn't let go until the surprising ending. The characters are finely drawn and emotions run high throughout.

Many thanks to the author / Killer Reads, Harper Collins / Netgalley / TBC Reviewer Request Group (FB) for the digital copy of this psychological fiction. Opinions expressed here are unbiased and entirely my own.
182 reviews10 followers
October 9, 2019
I didn’t know what to expect with this book as the blurb didn’t give anything away. I thought I would give it a try because it was intriguing. I’m so glad I read it now as I really enjoyed it. It was told in the point of view of many of the characters which I liked. I found it quite obvious about what happened to Zander so it wasn’t a surprise to me but there were plenty of twists and turns and everyone seemed to have a secret of their own. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was well written and extremely entertaining. The characters were all great and the story was thrilling. I definitely recommend this book.
Profile Image for Nicki.
620 reviews2 followers
July 5, 2019
We,Humans are many things but we are definitely not infallible,we do make mistakes. Some are tiny and inconsequential and some have major consequences and can affect more than just one person.

Thea made a catastrophic mistake,a mistake that resulted in the death of her baby and Thea being labelled the worst mother in the world. She can't remember exactly what happened that day but everyone she trusts keep insisting that it was her fault and they wouldn't lie to her.....would they?

Then Thea starts to remember tiny snippets from that tragic day and starts to have the feeling that something is wrong. Are the people she trusts lying to her and keeping secrets from her? Is she as guilty as they say and if she is innocent,then what really happened and what will happen when the truth comes out?

This compelling thriller is a story about three women from different social standings, Thea,Annabelle and Thea's ex personal assistant Flora who is now working for Annabelle. There is also Thea's ex husband Robert and their young daughter Nell. Thea's best friend Isla, Annabelle's husband Greg and their children Millie and Ollie. Many of these characters wouldn't have known how to tell the truth even if their lives depended on it. Most but not all of them were flawed and not very likeable. I really wanted to feel some sympathy for Thea as her life feel apart around her but she really didn't help herself at times. I did feel a lot of sympathy for one of the women and the poor children who found themselves caught up in the lives of these so called responsible adults.

As I Guilty is a extremely well written,shocking tale of secrets,manipulation,infidelity,lies and deception that hooks the reader in from the first page,keeping you captivated as the twists,turns,secrets and lies hit you at breakneck speed. And as for the chilling ending, I seriously had goosebumps,what a shocker. This is an amazing book,I loved every word on every page. Very,very highly recommended.

Many thanks to Rachel Gibley of Rachel's Random Resources and killer Reads for a arc of this book in exchange for a honest review and for the opportunity to take part in the Blog tour
Profile Image for Kirsten .
484 reviews171 followers
Read
August 4, 2023
Not going to rate this, I DNFed it after 60 pages or so, I have read too many like this, unreliable narrators, several POVs, innocent victims, and apparently infidelity galore, but I didn’t get that far, only read the last pages to find out who the culprit was. Turned out it was totally unguessable, for me at least, but I had stopped caring.
Profile Image for Rachel Gilbey.
3,324 reviews571 followers
April 16, 2019
Well I wasn't expecting that ending! I was so convinced part way through that I knew the gist of what had happened, and some of my guesses were correct but many other things occurred too much to my delight.

I was completely gripped in this story, told from various viewpoints, about a mother's worst nightmare.

There were times during this that I suspected everyone, at other times I was completely convinced that Thea was truly guilty - it was incredibly hard to know who to believe.

It also can't work out how to phrase anything that I want to say about this story, in light of what I know now about how it all ends. I suspect its best if you read the blurb, and read the book for yourself. You won't be disappointed - it truly is a gripping story.

I read the book in just a couple of sittings, even reading in bed when my eyes were feeling really blurry as I just wanted to read another chapter or two... but then there was another mini surprise that made me want to keep turning the pages even past my blatant need to sleep.

I had read some cosy mysteries previously from Jackie Kabler, and enjoyed them, but this has really stepped up a gear and is a full blown psychological drama - it crept under my skin, and may continue to cling onto me for a while after finishing it.

Definitely an author I want to read more from, and wow with that ending, I am very very curious what Jackie Kabler has in store for us all next!

Many thanks to Netgalley and Killer Reads for this copy which I have reviewed honestly and voluntarily.
Profile Image for Christy.
369 reviews12 followers
January 8, 2021
Just happy it was free

Ridiculous story that was also incredibly boring. I finally skipped ahead because I knew the "who" of the mystery, just not the why. And it was painful trying to read the chapters and try to feel invested in any of it. I was correct about the "who" and the why was just dumb. And then the epilogue. Ugh. So annoying. I also don't think this kind of storytelling, where bits and pieces are revealed slowly , is for everyone. Not everyone can be Gillian Flynn.
356 reviews80 followers
September 27, 2020
5 stars... Oh my god, what can I say about this breathtaking book? I just really can't say much cause I don't wanna spoil the story, but I thirly injoyed the author's writing stile and definitely will be reading more of her works... This book was just, spectacular, I highly absolutely recommended if you want to be on edge during the whole story
Profile Image for Joanne Kay.
57 reviews
January 11, 2021
It started really good and I was hooked but then by the time all the affairs were getting revealed I rolled my eyes. How many people having how many affairs in the same circle? It was a bit ridiculous. So Rupert had an affair with Flora and Mia, Greg had an affair with Thea and attempted to with Flora. Thea had cheated on Rupert. Then I was pretty disappointed in the twist. It came out of nowhere; there were no hints of Flora being this way inclined at all - oh by the way she’s a psychopath all of a sudden even though throughout the book there’s no hints of it on her character. And the biggest bit that blagged my head is that Annabelle suddenly became best mates over night with Thea after finding out the day before that Thea had slept with her husband and had a secret child with him. Come on? At least be realistic with that bit - did they really have to become best friends? And why did Isla lie about who was driving? It made noooo sense. At least tie that up. Just cuz she didn’t want to get into trouble? Come on. And surely Isla who was able to drive them all home would have remembered Thea taking Zander out of the car. It all went completely stupid by the end.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for jacky novak.
30 reviews
March 12, 2022
Enjoyed….but

I could not put this book down as was intrigued from the first chapter. I read a lot of thrillers and theses days there are so many poorly written far fetched ones out there that it was refreshing to find one that kept my interest.

Why only 3 stars? The ridiculous amount of inane, uninteresting and irrelevant details that add nothing to the book other than to pad it out. I found myself skipping through at least a third of it as am really not interested if the green chair was bought to go with the yellow blind blah blah. So many authors do this these days and it completely spoils the enjoyment for me and detracts from the actual story and for me is poor writing skills. Really good plot though.
Profile Image for Amanda McRae.
38 reviews7 followers
April 8, 2021
This was incredibly boring and felt never ending even for a short book. Part three was the only one that mattered and it seemed very predictable overall. Not a single character was likable and normally I’d be ok with it but this just didn’t cut it for me.
Profile Image for Suzannah.
53 reviews1 follower
November 12, 2022
Excellent Thriller

Considering what the main character - Thea - was accused of, it was so easy to feel sympathy for her. It was genuinely very easy to feel sympathy for all the characters in this actually which made it almost impossible to put down most days. Even the least sympathetic ones still had well fleshed out characters and the ending of the story (with a twist I didn’t quite see coming) was really satisfying. Great cliff hanger too.
Profile Image for Kelly (Little.shropshire.reader).
237 reviews26 followers
January 26, 2025
I don't know where to start with this book. I felt every emotion going whilst reading this one.

Told from the pov of 3 women who are all unreliable and unhinged. As to are all the other characters. You don't know who to trust or believe.
The plot is so clever, full of twists and turns. It had me suspecting everyone and kept me guessing until the end. I'm not saying too much because it's one of those books you need to just go into blind. There are parts not for the faint hearted, I found it hard to read in places.

The ending, oh my!!

It's full of secrets, deception, guilt, suspense, and so much more. It filled me with anxiety and made me feel sick to my stomach.

This will definitely be one of my top reads for this year. A must-read you need to add to your tbr pile.
Profile Image for 8stitches 9lives.
2,853 reviews1,724 followers
April 18, 2019
Am I Guilty begins like pretty much every other domestic thriller, but it's when the sense of creeping unease becomes palpable after the first couple of chapters that it truly picks up speed and continues to hurtle down the line like a runaway train. Whether mother Thea actually has amnesia, has a problem with repressed memories something humans do to forget or is purely an unreliable narrator is rather unclear for most the novel and adds to its unpredictable charm. Couple this with prejudicial small-town gossip and eyeballing aplenty the accusation of what she did and how she failed in the most spectacular way as a mother has the power to bring her down and completely destroy her as a person.

Packed full of real emotion and many twists, turns and instances of backstabbing, this book encapsulates why we should all think things through a little more before proceeding as the consequences have the potential to be catastrophic. Well written with a small cast of interesting characters and those with ulterior motives; I thoroughly enjoyed this and found it struck the perfect balance between keeping the thrills and surprises coming, moving along at pace and being quite an emotive story.

Many thanks to Killer Reads for an ARC.
Profile Image for Jess Farrow.
13 reviews1 follower
August 24, 2022
I didn’t guess who it was at all I was to be busy keeping track of all of the different characters secrets and lies!!!! I didn’t really like any of the characters at all but the the story was well written and I was gripped i couldn’t wait till the end!!

I think for me though the ending was a bit rushed but I wouldn’t change the length of the book I would just not have so much about all of the different characters POV I don’t think we needed as much detail as we did about how the characters were feeling we should of just had more on the nitty gritty about what had happened!!

Overall though it was a great read and I would read another book from this Author it was still a good thriller just not my favourite I’ve read so far.
Profile Image for BookJunkie.
359 reviews12 followers
June 10, 2022
This was yet another incredible read from the author Jackie Kabler. After reading her latest book ‘The Murder List’ I realised there was still a few books I hadn’t read and NEEDED to backtrack so I had read them all. Jackie Kabler has an incredible writing ability and has now become an auto-buy author for me.

Am I Guilty, although I wouldn’t describe it as a fast paced read was incredibly intriguing from the beginning.

The chapters were divided mainly between Thea, the mother. Flora, the hired help. And Annabelle, the new employer. At the beginning of the book I instantly liked each character. They each seemed nice, polite and relatable but soon enough we find that something big has happened. It takes a while for us to find out what that something is and although it was BIG and extremely shocking it didn’t make me think any less of the character Thea. In fact it made me connect with her more in a way as I felt there was a big mental health element that was untreated.

As we are brought further into the story it is apparent that this group of people have more secrets and lies amongst there circle than anyone could ever have guessed and as memories were slowly returning in regards to a dreadful night in September things started to become highly confusing and obviously being a lover of psychological thrillers I was already playing the detective. Badly, I may add.

This story is shocking, thrilling and highly emotional in parts. It does have a strong element of mental health in parts, which was portrayed excellently and sensitively. But as the BIG TWIST was about to unfold I figured it out a beat to fast. I felt it in my gut and when I was proved right, my heart was racing out of control I just had to put the book down for a second. I honestly couldn’t believe it.

Imagine, liking someone, feeling a good connection to them. They are sweet, very well mannered, funny and gets a long with everyone. To find out you have been tricked and it was all a lie! I’m the worst possible way! That’s how I felt.

The writing in this book was FABULOUS. The characters were written beautifully and the SHOCK factor was just that. Like jaw dropping shocking.

This is definitely a book and author I will continue to highly recommend.
Profile Image for Kayl_may.
438 reviews2 followers
July 7, 2022
I really enjoyed this. I gave it 4 starts because I felt it was a bit of a slow starter but I soon got into it. I enjoyed the outcome and ending and felt although it was a little WTF, it did really work.
Profile Image for Kelda .
218 reviews2 followers
May 20, 2022
Sadly I have to give this only 3 stars. I found it slightly repetitive and way too easy to guess what was going to happen. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be a big reveal but the revelation about Greg was definately guessed early on from me. Also the ending I think we knew who it would be as she was the only one on the list that 'wasn't' seen as a suspect really, so that made me suspect her more...the quiet nice person out of them all with no motive..... of course itl be her thrown into the background then popped out at the end. All I can say is thank god it wasn't isla because that is what she's pointing towards from the first page. Who in their right mind makes a child with another man and keeps the baby knowing it looks completely different and not admitting it to the husband. This baffles me and it irritated me. Also that week nell spent in therapy at the end is not going to get her over everything she's been through ... she killed her baby brother and was abused by the nanny psychologically. She's needs years in therapy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Kat.
576 reviews99 followers
April 30, 2019
This is a debut novel and wow! I was really surprised st the way this turned out. I was trying to guess what way it would go and I was totally wrong. I found it really gripping, if a little hard to read at times. I liked the alternative chapters and found each characters point of view easy to follow in this format. A good round of characters and I changed my mind about them all throughout the book. I'm looking forward to reading more from Jackie and I hope it's soon.

Thanks goes to net galley and the publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for clumsyplankton.
1,032 reviews19 followers
June 13, 2022
This book had me gripped on every page. The twist at the end was mad and I don’t think many people if anyone could guess the ending
Profile Image for Chrissie.
1,058 reviews92 followers
May 13, 2023
Four stars for making me read this at any available moments today until I finished it!
Profile Image for Robyn.
424 reviews103 followers
June 28, 2019
Wowzers! Am I Guilty By Jackie Kabler is definitely one of my top reads of 2019 and if you are a fan of thrillers then this book SHOULD be on your reading list. This is just one of those books that you do NOT want to miss.

Theodora “Thea” Ashfield is accused of one of the worst crimes anyone could ever imagine. Even Thea thinks she is a monster. Estranged from her husband, Thea’s life is spiraling downhill all from one tragic event. But, nothing is as it seems and there secrets aplenty. Is Thea really the monster everyone thinks she is or is someone else to blame?

With a story ripped from the headlines, Thea is a mother you want to hate, but in a way you can also feel sympathy for her as well. It is definitely emotional what she is going through and as much as I want to say what happened should never have occurred, people make mistakes. Only the mistakes made one terrible day, Thea can’t even remember. The inner struggle Thea goes through is really emotional to see and read. Thea can’t believe she did what she is accused of. But, her friends and family all agree she is to blame. Why would they lie to her or what would they have to gain from lying. She is guilty, isn’t she?

Jackie Kaber really pulls you into a heartbreaking story and weaves such a delicate balance between something so tragic and yet also understandable. It is so hard to really put my thoughts into words as I don’t want to give away too much of the story, but it is definitely one that will have you torn. Kaber intricately inserts so many secrets and so many outcomes on what could or may have happened along with the knowledge that not everyone is who they seem. At one point everyone seemed guilty even the least likely of people. I found myself going back and forth many times and I have to say, I don’t think I have seen a thriller done so well as this one where I didn’t guess somewhat early on. That ending though, what??????? OMG!!

This story is so well written and I was drawn right in right from the first page. Kaber really knows how to hold your attention and if I thought I could only read a few chapters and go to bed...yeah right! I just kept saying “okay one more chapter and I have to go to sleep.” Ummm yeah that didn’t work out as planned at all. Once I picked up this story I could not put it down under any circumstances.

Am I guilty is intense and twisting. It will play with your emotions and mess with your mind as you try to figure everything out and believe me when I tell you that your mind will be totally blown! Definitely one of my top reads of the year and definitely worthy of five stars. I highly highly recommend this one!
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