Cawk

by Whit Slorp

Just off the coast of Fire Island in New York, two lovers take a romantic dip in the dark water, inadvertently luring a mindless killing machine--born of hetero-man's hubris--that arrives with an insatiable appetite for destruction, and a strange preoccupation with what gay men do privately.

Genres: Horror, Novella

42 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 13, 2021

About the author

Whit Slorp is a visual artist the award-winning author of parody erotica stories including Abrahannibal Lectern, My A-Hole Fell in a K-Hole, Peenocchio and the Wooden Circus Plot (Pardy Boys Gay Adventure Series Title), The Hidden Valley Ranch of Studs Mystery (Nancy Screw Mystery Series Title),CAWK, Assquatch (Chillpimples series), and Are You There God? I Thought I Heard Cody Masturbating, But It Was Just His Grandma Stirring a Pot of Shells and Cheese. They paint all of the cover art for their titles.

Whit currently lives in Portland, OR.

(Source Amazon.com)

Reviews

[♡ Dakota ♡ (Sarcasm is my middle name) · Rating 1 out of 5]

It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t written well. Just one big waste of time. One Star.

[corks · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was Gay humor 👏🤣

”followed by a complete void of consciousness as he was fucked in half by a monstrous, sentient sea dick.”

LMAOOOO BYE.

[Mickey · Rating 4 out of 5]

"It was now fully alert in the darkness. It turned and propelled its mammoth form, beginning a precise ascent towards the scent of its prey. Its favourite prey... Gay lovers."

An amusing short story about a giant penis swimming about in the ocean. I bought this book solely on the cover but I actually wasn't disappointed with the story itself. I really hope there's a follow up, I'd love to see people head out penis hunting and then realising they're gonna need a bigger boat. A movie version would be excellent. I gotta say though, poor Jeremie

[Nicola · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this one solely for the cover...the story itself was a nice surprise but wish it was longer and more fleshed out...

[April Wheeler · Rating 4 out of 5]

dun dun dun dun

you get exactly what this gives. a giant sentient cawk that attacks unsuspecting gays in the ocean. absolutely loved it!

[Allison · Rating 2 out of 5]

be warned: this is not a an erotica/spicey novella (no matter what goodreads wants you to believe)

I'm not going to do my normal break down for this book, as it was honestly not worth it. I almost feel bad to add this to my "Read" pile. This novella was so.. not for me.
It was suggested based on my "erotica" tags, which is mostly spicey novellas, and this isn't like those. I feel like this would have been a reach 5 minute Robot Chicken sketch.

There is a spice scene but it's not really the point of this novella, and that is the issue. I expected this to be like the other spice novellas I've read and it's just not that. I can't really say the writing was great. It was meh. There was a lot of setup for a "gotcha" that felt just meh.

[Alaine McDaniel · Rating 4 out of 5]

trainwreck

This was entertaining af. A little confusing because there were interjections in odd places and the back and forth between locations, but it came together in the end. For the simple fact that it was like a train wreck I couldn’t look away from, I’ll give it 4 stars. Would I go into this thinking it is any sort of literary masterpiece, absolutely not.

[Rio Bonestele · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was not well written, this could have been a hilarious jaws parody but instead it's just a radioactive peen statue and no one ever finds out about it. There could have been a hunt for the peen. A joke about needing a bigger boat like from Jaws but no. I'm a lover of horrible short stories but this was not it

[christy - pr0bablyreadingsmut · Rating 5 out of 5]

why did i love this??

this story is so gripping for how short it is and WHEW the ending GOT me.

gay lovin, giant sentient penis monster, brutal af death. truly couldn’t ask for more except i’m gonna need a sequel now please please please

[Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

Radioactive giant dong becomes cold blooded killer? Honestly, I was flabbergasted in the best way. Somehow there’s like multiple plot lines? That all fit together? And it’s horrifying? But also horny?

[Nerdy.Scientist.Reads || NERDY · Rating 3 out of 5]

3/5⭐️ 1.5/5🌶️
It was…..entertaining. Listen, if I had to read it, so do you. It’s 35 kindle pages. I’ll just leave it at that.
🦈🍆

[alicia ⏾ · Rating 1 out of 5]

i would actually pay someone to give me brain damage

[Rebecca Weaver · Rating 1 out of 5]

You didn’t see me read this. 😩




I’m all for weird and wonder full eccentric books but this was….. bad…. The writing was bad…. The I don’t even know…. It was just bad 😩

[Biblio · Rating 5 out of 5]

the biggest plot twist since the twilight dream sequence. this was everything I needed it too be and more. gay love, penis parades, death by splitting... chumming.. apparently. (added that to urban dictionary for you, you're welcome) Short and fun read with a shocking amount of plot, lots of CAWK, characters you will fall in love with and a plot twist of the century. (it's a good one though don't worry.) I expect a sequel ASAP.

[Cortney · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m not sure I want to even review this 😒

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Completely random, and so freaking funny. I cried laughing at this.

[Shelba · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ 27%.

Head jumping. Awful formatting. The use of “spaz” and that character not immediately being killed off.

[Nellie (Nellie Reads A Lot)]

I read for a "read something you know nothing about" challenge. I opened up goodreads and it was the first thing that popped up. This is satire, people; don't take it seriously. It's under 40 KU pages, but has multiple POVs, a origin story with some mythology, and a twist at the ending! An entertaining approx. 15 minutes.

[Amber Wiser · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one was too short! I appreciate that this one has more of a horror element than the other Slorp tales I have read. I felt like a little more could have been done with this one but it was a fun read nonetheless.

[Castalia · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 🌟 and 1🌶️.

Honestly I’m still not sure what I read but it was so absurd and ridiculous that it was a hilarious 30 something pages. I will not soon forget the images of dildos provided by this book. IYKYK. 🦤🍆🌊🦈

[Bec · Rating 2 out of 5]

They didn’t even make a “we’re gonna need a bigger boat joke” Cover was misleading. Story itself is meh it’s a short erotica so it’s not like I had high expectations but felt like a waste of time, characters not fleshed out and writing wasn’t great.

[Janet (iamltr) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well then...

I would seriously like to see this fleshed out, edited and formatted cause it was a cute Godzilla wingdinger story.

[Valentina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really do wish this was longer .. 😂

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

40 pages I never knew I needed until this moment.
A sentient radioactive cock sculpture that attacks gay lovers in the ocean. Addicted to the smells of ejaculation.
Wild.

[B_inkworthy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have no words.

[Lisa Sun · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

Omg this was so dumb. And not so bad it was good. I mean it was basically godzilla movies + Jaws + docu on Fukushima disaster.

[Lana Osborn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was... good?

[Jodie Powers]

I guess if i want all my books counted, its time to admit I read this. Don't ask. Just leave me be.

[Sodium Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don’t even know how to review this, but what the fuck did I just read?

[Kayce B]

I….I think I’m still processing….
What did I just read??
This was…well, it was something…