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The Art of Growing

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Maybe a weekend is just the right amount of time to fall in love.
Sloane Abbott likes her quiet life. She owns a landscaping business, she tends her plants, lives alone, and secretly crushes on her favorite nonbinary garden center employee, Polly. Between anxiety and modesty, Sloane's never planning on telling Polly she likes them. She'll just be admiring from afar while she deals with her demanding family and fulfills her sister’s order.
Polly Stanwick loves people. She has the best time working at Blooms, talking to customers, hanging out with the kids, and generally being a ray of sunshine. When they hear their regular, Sloane Abbott, is having a rough day, they naturally sweep in to help.
What neither of them is expecting is for Polly's colleague to suggest her as a fake date for Sloane's weekend with her family. For Sloane, it’s the only way to avoid the heteronormative life her parents will push on her, so despite her misgivings, she agrees. It’s only one weekend, right?
Fooling the Abbotts into thinking she and Polly are a couple is easy, but for Sloane, handling her own feelings is harder. Holding hands and sharing a bed doesn’t make things any easier—nor does Polly being there for her in all the ways she ever wished somebody would.
Sometimes the hardest thing to face is our own potential to grow.
The Art of Growing is a 75k-word slow-burn, friends-to-lovers, fake-dating romance over a weekend full of mutual pining and blurred lines. Content warnings for on-page sex scenes, abusive family dynamics, off-screen references to past abusive relationships, anxiety attacks, and useless sapphics.

275 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 14, 2021

40 people are currently reading
315 people want to read

About the author

Jacqueline Ramsden

20 books101 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
Profile Image for Loek Krancher.
1,042 reviews66 followers
February 25, 2022
A beautiful story.

A demi-sexual and nonbinary character, anxiety disorder, a complicated family relationship, a fake date and a long weekend. These are a few elements of this beautiful story. It was sweet, sexy, heartbreaking and heartwarming. I hated that Sloane's needs were being ignored and that she always had to accommodate others and swallow what she wanted. I loved how Polly makes Sloane feel secure and how they help to set her boundaries. Both main characters are very adorable and I was rooting for them to get together. Their road to happiness was a rocky road and I loved following their thriving relationship. Great read and I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Kexx.
2,329 reviews100 followers
February 10, 2023
Very powerful book showing power of family rejection. Didn’t ‘enjoy’ it, but cheered for the Main Characters and felt hopeful at the end. Highly recommended.
Profile Image for LeeBookie.
278 reviews5 followers
October 16, 2021
I think SQUEE! is the best description I can give for how this book made me feel.
Polly and Sloane were beyond cute and I just love a good fauxmance.
I kept getting asked what I was smiling about because apparently I had a huge smile plastered on my face. I would then describe the latest scene that gave me involuntary smile-face.
An awesome item is this book features a demisexual main character and a nonbinary main character. I loved seeing that representation on the pages.
This book gave me so many sweet feels but there were also scenes of living with anxiety and having a family that treats you like a doormat for not conforming to what they want you to be. Incredibly relatable.
But so much swoon in this book too. So so so much swoon. And I REALLY want to live in Sloane’s cottage.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
Profile Image for Issy Waldrom.
Author 10 books55 followers
October 25, 2023
Beautiful. Wonderful. Cute. Adorable. All words that I would use to describe this story. A fake-relationship, friends-to-lovers story, it is sweet and endearing. Yup, there is so much pining, and they're both 'useless lesbians', to quote the characters, yet even still this is a beautiful, heartwarming and wonderful tale, of growth, recovery, and finding that perfect someone. As they really are perfect for each other, right from the start, fitting together so well that they don't even have to try. It's low-angst, though Sloane's family is pure evil, and really, I loved every page. An absolute must read!
Profile Image for Misha.
1,673 reviews64 followers
July 23, 2025
(rounded down from 4.25)

This was a sweet and cozy story about fake dating your crush and then finding out that their family is legitimately terrible and low-key emotionally abusive gaslighters. I cannot stress how much this family is the absolute worst and I applaud the MC's attempts to draw boundaries. Sweet, emotional and a feel-good story that will have you cheering internally for the two main characters.
Profile Image for asmalldyke.
128 reviews15 followers
February 3, 2025
On this honourary episode of Reading Every Lily Seabrooke Until I Remember How To Enjoy Things, (the authors are in a relationship so it counts) Books that helped mend my brainrot!!

Finally I've got back to reading things, and while The Art of Growing isn't my favourite romance ever, I'm pretty content with it. Personally, I find it hard to relate to experiencing the kind of abuse where family members use you as free work with no consideration all the time. It ends up with me thinking about the more neglect-y kind of abuse I'm more familiar with. Yes, this ended up being kind of heavy for a romance, but the best romances tend to have heavy qualities. The Weight of Living, Seabrooke's own Good Composition. Even if the 'setting' (as in domestic family shit 24/7) is distant to me and I don't really relate, I got a lotta respect for Ramsden writing this stuff, and it's hard to dislike Polly as they constantly put in assists for Sloane when it comes to setting boundaries.

I saw this listed on one of those weird blogs I'm always browsing, and my reaction was 'so wait, you paired up a shy butch dyke and... a lesbian enby????? Yoooooooo!' My personal Quest has seen me almost exclusively reading weird novels about binary trans women, but only because it's hard to find any others. Like, Sterling Karat Gold was cool, but it's not quite my street, you know? So finding this one, I was excited.

Ramsden says in the back, "If what you read resonated, I'm so glad. If it didn't, that's okay too. There are so many ways to experience all of the parts of our identities and no two people will ever feel the same way." I think this is a really cool thing to put for an author's note, and not just because I'm a jackass this time. There are things about Growing that I don't think I would have understood properly when I started reading it, months ago. Mainly it seemed weird to me that Polly doesn't even bother correcting people who assume they're a woman 99% of the time. Surely, I thought at the time, you want people to use your pronouns, right?? But then it's been a few months and Yeah, it's easier that way and it's not like most people would get it anyway, right? I'm not keen to have a long conversation with my dad on how being autistic intersects with my understanding of gender in really weird ways.

Also it's pretty quirky to be reading something with a demisexual dyke as one of the leads. I don't bring it up often because it tends not to be a problem in the books I read, probably owing to it being easier to filter for "insta-lust" if I'm not into that on a given day. It's more something I take issue with in games when they ask me to self-insert, but still, Sloane is funny when she's laying with Polly's hand on her abs and thinking indecent thoughts for the first time in ages. I kinda fuck with that, I think it rocks. Sloane is pretty dumb, too; without meaning to spoil (because it's not a major event) the two exchange their I-love-yous at the 50ish percent mark, but it goes unremarked upon, and Sloane continues agonising over how they can still be just-friends when Polly is so flirty. She also does this after they fuck, which is probably a little more comical than it's intended to be.

Growing is one of those books that has the issue where another character's input is required to break the third-act stalemate-conflict. I have whined about this at probably absurd lengths in previous dumb rambles, but is it too much to ask? Getting a side character to say "go get em girl" and tell one of the leads how obvious it is that the two of them are dating, that's not character development, that's jump-starting the engine when it dies with a bad starter. My ideal romance, if it has a third act conflict, would feature one or both of the leads growing and changing in some way that allows them to better communicate or otherwise solve whatever the issue is in some fresh new manner. Polly and Sloane just kind of have to be told the obvious, which isn't a dealbreaker but it feels light-weight with everything else going on around it.

The actual plot is that Sloane has to go stay with her stupid idiot shitsucker cisheteronormative family all weekend because her dumb brown-nosing sister has an anniversary party or whatever. Polly ends up getting roped in (powerful, strong butch dyke, etc etc) and the forced proximity kind of rules. Sloane's deepest, darkest, most fucked up fantasies include Polly having a dedicated mug for tea at her house, which is adorable. The Art of Growing is heavily domestic and so am I, and there's a lot of time spent just hanging out drinking the aforementioned tea, or like monologuing during morning routines, stuff. I think I have this affliction because of Elsewhere and it's not likely to ever leave me. Cohabiting, when it's not parents time.

On some level this was kind of a tough read, not just on account of the abusive stuff itself, but also because I never lost the stereotypically-teenage instinct to get pissed at all parents ever. What can I say, western society has a lot of roots in weird feudalist bullshit and children being treated like property is pretty much the norm. I spent a lot of my time during Growing (and Love & Other Disasters) (and One Step at a Time) (and Spellbound) unironically irate with the protagonist'e parents. (I am very normal) On a personal level I sometimes wish queer romances would just never have family members around, even though Growing is better off for tackling the subject. It's also worth it to tough it out for the resolution, which is pretty good even if nobody dies, sadly.

What's not worth it is the sex, which I thought was pretty bad. You're reading the opinions of a weird acespec dyke on this, but I dunno. I ended up skimming these a lot because sex in a bathroom or whatever doesn't suit me. Also the use of the term "whine" during said scenes had me picturing Polly with dog ears or something. Idk, it's not exactly Nameless Queen, you know?

Growing does feature what I perceive to be a lot of awkward language around gender (the term "person" must be jacked because it's doing a LOT of heavy lifting conversationally) and that made me reflect that I still desire new nouns and such to use when loudly announcing my gay trans desires. I doubt I'll ever find em given that I don't go outside, but I'll add it to my Quest. Quest for more Funny Gendered Terms.

On a bad day The Art of Growing would probably be a three star thing for me, better than One Last Shot but worse than most Port Andrea books, if that makes sense. However I'm in a pretty good mood, I missed reading my allotment of gay romances and The Art of Growing fit the bill, even if it took me months to finish 100%.
274 reviews6 followers
March 2, 2024
A Fake Dating Story - with a Powerful Undercurrent - and a Hot Nonbinary Character

Independent business owner/landscaping contractor meets a beautiful nonbinary clerk at the garden store. A friend suggests that the clerk be a fake date to the landscaper’s big family event, and things go from there. While this is built around a fairly standard F/F romantic trope, the story delves into great detail about the family’s abusive behavior and the detrimental effects this has had on the landscaper.

Very informative and illuminating, as well as well written and edited, with a strong story and likable characters - and some dastardly villains too. 
Profile Image for Al.
431 reviews20 followers
December 20, 2021
Oh. My. God!

This was such an unbelievably sweet romance! I love that they started out as casual friends before they decided to fake date! Their chemistry was amazing!!!!
Profile Image for 3DKing.
274 reviews1 follower
February 16, 2024
An absolutely wonderful story about personal growth. It has Ramsdens signature touch of angst and delightful diverse characters.
Profile Image for Snugglezbugglez.
11 reviews
August 19, 2025
I simultaneously love this book and dislike it.

I dislike it because I do not like the writing style. It also has a very on the nose approach to describing queer terms and culture.

The second reason is also why I like the book. I am happy this book exists so that people who are still questioning or exploring can learn more about these topics.
Profile Image for Vita L. Licari.
917 reviews46 followers
October 30, 2024
A beautiful gem from my TBR shelves! A gorgeous fake romance, friends to lovers, slow burn, love/romance story! Sloane owns her own landscaping business and has a crush on Polly at the local nursery. When it comes up that Sloane has weekend plans when she gets a call from her mom telling her she invited a man to the events for her to date. When a mutual friend, Dureet, volunteers Polly to go with Sloane as her fake girlfriend.
Sloanes' family treats her like dirt. They're homophobic,,and controlling. But Polly knows how to handle them. The MCs are nonbianary and a demisexual.I love it! What a great book! 5 stars!
Profile Image for Kris.
168 reviews3 followers
December 31, 2021
Ramsden delivers a heartfelt and beautiful story with this sweet fake dating, friends to lovers romance. Full of all of the feels, adorable gay panic, hopeless sapphics that will make you swoon, and fantastic build up leading to a wonderful romance.
This story is sweet and romantic. I laughed and swooned constantly. These cute characters made me so soft and I loved watching them fall in love. This story is also heartbreaking. Both Sloane and Polly have personal connections with abusive unhealthy relationships. Leaving both of them with low self confidence and almost no self worth.
This story follows Sloane and Polly on a weekend with Sloane’s toxic family. I spent most of this book in the same boat as Polly, wanting to get sweet Sloane as far from these awful people as possible so they couldn’t hurt her anymore.
Polly is such a cutie. They are kind, caring, and fiercely protective of those she cares about. Sloane is reserved and withdrawn but is also very passionate and sweet. I loved the dynamic between these two, they are so comfortable with each other, they compliment one another and fit together seamlessly.
The side characters both good and bad were so well developed. I loved the comedic plucky friends and hated the abusive manipulative family members. All of these people really drove this story and I love Ramsden’s ability to create such stunning characters.
The romance is adorable and a little sad. Both Sloane and Polly have had a crush on each other for the better part of a year, becoming friends but never spending time together outside of their work interactions, until they become fake girlfriends to get Sloane’s parents off her back. Their friendship that quickly becomes so much more as their feelings for one anther grow is constantly blocked by their lack of self worth, both believing the other couldn’t possibly be interested. I loved how intrinsic their connection and chemistry are, and it was so fun watching them fluster one another. Great flirty banter and flirt touching.
The slow build up and tension between these two cuties was delicious and so worth the wait. The fact that they could build this amazing love while surrounded by so much negativity was absolutely beautiful. The tender healing interactions between these two was perfect.
Ramsden shows their versatility and skill as a writer with The Art of Growing which is a completely different genre and style from her previous story (All the Right Wrong Reasons) while still maintaining her distinctive voice and humor. I am really looking forward to whichever direction they take for their next story.
This F/NB love story is such a wonderful experience. Such a healing story that I am sure will resonate with so many people with similar experiences. I loved The Art of Growing, Sloane and Polly’s love story is an absolute delight.
I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review
Profile Image for Pat  House.
69 reviews3 followers
October 18, 2021
The Art of Growing is the latest work by Jacqueline Ramsden who is rapidly becoming one of my favorite authors. It is the story of Sloane Abbott who is happily living her life at a safe difference from her family. She owns and operates her own landscaping business. She takes solace from relaxing in her cottage and puttering around her large garden. As satisfied with her life as she is, she cannot deny that the highlight of her week is going to Blooms Garden Center and seeing her favorite employee, Polly Stanwick.

Polly Stanwick enjoys working with her colleagues, teaching kids crafts, and bringing a little positivity wherever they go. And they are non-binary, who skews towards the feminine side. They do not mind educating people on what that means to her. What they most love about working at Blooms is when the gorgeous butch landscape architect comes into the store and stays a while and chats.

Sloane has been slaving away preparing planters for a weekend at her parent’s house celebrating her sister Greer’s fifth wedding anniversary and her niece's third birthday. Greer is by far the favorite child. She is used to getting everything she wants and however she wants it. And right now, Greer wants Sloane to be partnered with a male date for the festivities, even though Sloane is an out lesbian. She is dreading the weekend and is hoping to get through it in one piece. Through a misunderstanding, somehow Polly has agreed to be her fake girlfriend for the duration. The strange thing is that both Polly and Sloane seem to slip into their roles a little too easily and it is starting to feel like neither is acting at all.

The fake-dating trope has to be one of the most used in lesbian fiction. The reason for that is simple: we all love it. This story is much better than most. I will not go into detail, because I do not want to spoil anything. What I will say is this: I have rarely disliked a group of characters as much as I hated the Abbott family. On the other hand, I adored both Sloane and Polly (not a Polly-Anna) - I liked them both from the very start and by the end of the book, I was totally in love with them.

Non-binary characters can be difficult to depict without confusion and juxtaposition of pronouns. Ms. Ramsden did an excellent job of avoiding clunking prose or dialogue. However, that did require using both of Polly’s pronouns in the same sentence, but it was not too distracting.

If you are looking for a story that is a cut above the usual fare, I would highly recommend that you read The Art of Growing!

I received an ARC from the author and publisher via BookSproat in exchange for a fair and honest review.
1,177 reviews
February 12, 2022
A Cast Of So Many Emotions!

This is my first book with this writer. This was a really good story as it shows how people who have anxiety especially caused by family dynamics can overcome it with the right support system. We all want to be loved by our family but sometimes at what cost. Sloane so wanted her family to love and appreciate her but no matter what she did they were never pleased by her. Her sister was demanding and unfazed by what Sloane did for her and her niece. However her mother and father were so much worse. Although she came out a while ago, her mother and sister has constantly tossed men at her. But now she is attending a weekend of family events with Polly. Polly was such a sweet person and could tell that Sloane was so miserable when her family was involved. When a coworker suggested Polly as her fake girlfriend. Polly was all in. Anything to help Sloane smile. Just being friendly. Sloane who has been secretly crushing on Polly for a year, did not know how she was going to handle it. Just friends, right. Although the subtle abuse comes through with the words her family used towards her, I understood it was important to the story. But it was rough to read. This was well written and your excitingly waiting for the ending. Will definitely check out other books .
Profile Image for Robin Clairvaux.
Author 4 books51 followers
April 7, 2024
Adorable Slow Burn!

Sloane adores Polly from afar until a surprising and humorous turn of events finds them pretending to be partners at an event with Sloane’s family. The more Sloane opens up to Polly and the more Polly shows up for Sloane amidst painful family drama, the closer they grow. But will pretending to be in love ruin their chances at something real?

The Art of Growing is a beautiful and adorable slow burn romance between two lovable, if occasionally hapless, characters. The trust and emotional intimacy that builds between them is fun and touching, and their entire dynamic is as comforting as the warm cup of tea on a rainy day that the two leads so enjoy. The author contrasts this connection expertly with Sloane’s unsupportive family environment, creating a compelling tension that drives the plot forward.

With engaging characters, a charming and uplifting romance, and the added bonus of demisexual and nonbinary representation, The Art of Growing is a wonderful sapphic story that will remain with readers long after the last page.
27 reviews
December 31, 2021
Such a Lovely, Complicated Book

Wow, where to start? Landscaper Sloane's family is absolutely terrible. Selfish, hurtful, not accepting and rude. Thankfully she has a fake girlfriend with her for support. We can see where that will most likely lead. This book was well written and gave a great view into the complicated life of Sloane. Thankfully through great support she's able to get back on some even ground but as an empath it was a bit painful to go on that ride with her. I appreciate the author's peek into worlds that I want to learn more about. Definitely worth a read but be warned that there are some tough family dynamics to get though.
873 reviews3 followers
February 19, 2022
Some people just don't get it!

Sloane and her parents do not see eye to eye. The parents are still maintaining that Sloane settles down with a man. Not going to happen! Polly works at a place that caters to Sloane business and both of them have not spoken the correct words to each other on they feel toward each other until Sloane's mother kicks her out of the house because Sloane refuses to do what her mother wants her to do. Date and marry a local man. Whoops! Follow along as Sloane, Polly and cousin Mabel start walking the Mother and Sloane sister Greer around the lesbian two step. Enjoy!
Profile Image for Michael Wells.
1,078 reviews6 followers
April 8, 2022
How sweet lover the family story

This was a very sweet love story. Two people who were ready for a relationship but didn’t know how to do one came together. Sloane and Polly we’re friends for years but on an off chance they spend the weekend at Sloan’s families get together. Sloan is a lesbian and Polly is non-binary. The plot revolves around how Sloan‘s family wants her to be heterosexual and toe The family line. Sloan and Polly find out a lot about themselves and that makes for a great story. I love the characters and the interaction between them. I recommend this book royal who like a slightly different romance but they’re very sweet romance.
212 reviews3 followers
October 10, 2023
On point

You know characters and stories are well written when you have an immediate emotional response! I went through a realm of emotions reading this book. I was both incensed with and incensed for Sloan. I wanted to reach into the pages and give Sloan a hug while simultaneously throat punching her family. It was heartening how Polly offered the support Sloan needed without forcing her into changes she wasn't ready for. I recommend this for anyone who wants see how to love oneself and others where they are.
Profile Image for Ban.
236 reviews17 followers
October 16, 2021
I loved the mood of this book so much. The entire story just welcomes you and then you can’t leave anymore. And why would you want to. I loved watching Sloane grow. The characters are utterly perfect and I adore them. The way the story unfolded was believable and the pace was just right for them. I could’ve read about them for way longer and I’m sad that I’m already done with this book.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.
43 reviews1 follower
November 14, 2022
great metaphor and cute cover

This was such an interesting story about diversity, about setting boundaries about love in such a gentle respectful way. Choosing to set boundaries is hard and the author shows that with right support it can be done and done well. I love the scenes where Sloane friend Polly stands up to Sloan’s family. I wish I was there to see it. All in all a sweet love story
Profile Image for Valentine.
39 reviews
December 17, 2023
The cutest

This is really the cutest book ever. Polly and Sloane are really the definition of fools in love. Sloane's family is trash, but I really love how the story was written. Sloane behavior, emotions, and reactions were very relatable.
Seriously, Polly and Sloane were absolutely adorable, wholesome, and everything.

I absolutely recommend this book!
Profile Image for Maddie.
63 reviews3 followers
November 4, 2021
A fantastic treatment of many difficult subjects, including familial abuse, with the lightheartedness and joy to back them and leave the reader feeling better than they started. Amazingly sweet love story despite obstacles and setbacks.
Profile Image for ..
Author 1 book2 followers
November 13, 2021
Lovely story, lovely representation

Hit all the right notes with a friends-to-lovers - which it really was more than a fauxmance - but getting all that queer rep in one place was the true star of the show. Such a delight
Profile Image for Zena Bates-Zellers.
48 reviews4 followers
November 28, 2021
This book was fantastic from start to finish. I loved watching the main characters grow and help each other. Sloane's family is a whole trip, but that's kind of the point. The Art of Growing was an absolutely wonderful read. I can't wait to read Jacqueline's next book (which is coming soon!)
745 reviews3 followers
December 29, 2021
Good Story again

I read my first story by Jacqueline Ramsden last week and have now found this one. Both were well written, heartwarming and cute. Looking forward to reading more by this author. Well done!
Profile Image for Theo.
61 reviews2 followers
October 16, 2021
Great!

Honestly one of my favorite books of this year. I can’t wait for the next one! The story just melted my heart . ❤️
490 reviews5 followers
November 2, 2023
This was a good book, but I think the opportunity was there to be a great one. To be clear, I enjoyed what I read, I liked Polly and Sloane and their quirks and struggles and ultimate outcome, I just think there were a few things that could have made the whole thing still better.

The main characters were a little too much in denial, which unfortunately by the latter stages moved from tension into frustration. The family was a bit too over the top horrible, which could have been fine if there was better closure. They didn’t spectacularly crash and burn, they weren’t totally cut off, they didn’t redeem themselves, at the end they were still kind of hanging around being rude, if at a bit more of a distance. I also didn’t especially buy that Greer was the one to be better at the end, since she had shown no indication of moving in that direction previously. Lizzie had such potential but was barely used, and Mabel only a little more. Why didn’t we get to hang out with Polly’s mom at least once? In general it would have been nice to have a bit more time with the characters outside of the one nightmare weekend. And finally, there’s the practical issue that I don’t understand — and maybe there’s a good reason for this — why get a whole new phone number and lose touch with the people you want to have it, instead of just blocking the people you don’t want to hear from?

Anyway, again, I’m probably giving the wrong impression. I did enjoy reading this. Maybe my issue is reading it just after One Last Shot which showed what this author can do. :)
Profile Image for Adriana.
227 reviews36 followers
June 30, 2024
CW: homophobia, verbal abuse, trauma, anxiety, panic attacks, sexual content

This is a very cute book, despite all those content warnings. Polly and Sloane were an adorable couple. I loved the back and forth, the painfully gay pining. Super cute and I love slow burns with a passionate culmination. This delivered on that! Sloane’s family were absolute ogres and I wanted to curse them out myself. Such jerks!! I felt very bad for Sloane, and while her powerlessness made me squirm and want to yell at her to stick up for herself, I understand that it’s not so easy when one is a victim of lifelong abuse. I’m glad Sloane and Polly found each other at just the right time.

The criticisms I have are only these: 1) Polly is non-binary and uses she/her and they/them interchangeably which makes sense, but the descriptions used they/them to describe Polly most of the time and then went to she/her other times, which was confusing for me. I thought that they were mistakes, but now that I’m writing it, it may be because Polly goes both, the author switched it up. Idk. I’ve never read a novel with a non-binary character, so perhaps that is normal. 2) The writing felt a little immature and repetitive at times. Several mentions of Sloane freezing up and or Polly saying “that’s it, I’m dying/dead” of cuteness overload. The characters repeat how perfect and hot/cute the other is ad nauseam. I understand that the human brain thinks like that irl, but it’s not as fun to read.

All in all, a cute, harmless read, that will also make you rage at how ruthless unsupportive parents can be.
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