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If Only…: Finding Freedom from Regret
It’s hard to envision a life without some regrets. You imagine what might have been if you had taken a different path at some key juncture, whether about a past relationship, a missed job opportunity, or choosing where to live. Regret can be immobilizing, filling us with disappointment and shame--but it also can be a powerful tool for self-knowledge and change. In this uplifting guide, renowned psychologist Robert Leahy demonstrates how to make regret work to your advantage. Using cutting-edge skills based on cognitive-behavioral therapy, Dr. Leahy shows how to get unstuck from regret and make decisions with more clarity and confidence. Downloadable practical tools help you implement the strategies in the book. You are the author of your life, so go out and write the next chapter--and then live it.
246 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2022
34 people are currently reading
176 people want to read
About the author
Robert L. Leahy
68 books134 followersRobert L. Leahy (B.A., M.S., Ph.D., Yale University), completed a Postdoctoral Fellowship in the Department of Psychiatry, University of Pennsylvania Medical School under the direction of Dr. Aaron Beck, the founder of cognitive therapy. Dr. Leahy is the Past-President of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies, Past-President of the International Association of Cognitive Psychotherapy, Past-President of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, Director of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy (NYC), and Clinical Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at Weill-Cornell University Medical School. Dr. Leahy is the Honorary Life-time President, New York City Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association and a Distinguished Founding Fellow, Diplomate, of the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. He has received the Aaron T. Beck award for outstanding contributions in cognitive therapy.
He was Associate Editor of The Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy (serving as Editor 1998-2003). Dr. Leahy is now Associate Editor of The International Journal of Cognitive Therapy. He has served on the Scientific Advisory Committee of the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill. Dr. Leahy serves on a number of scientific committees for international conferences on cognitive behavioral therapy and is a frequent keynote speaker and workshop leader at conferences and universities throughout the world. For a listing of professional presentations click here.
He is author and editor of 26 books, including Treatment Plans and Interventions for Depression and Anxiety Disorders (with Holland), Overcoming Resistance in Cognitive Therapy, Bipolar Disorder: A Cognitive Therapy Approach (with Newman, Beck, Reilly-Harrington, & Gyulai), Cognitive Therapy Techniques, Roadblocks in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Psychological Treatments of Bipolar Disorder (ed. with Johnson), Contemporary Cognitive Therapy, The Therapeutic Relationship in the Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapies (ed. with Gilbert) and The Worry Cure which received critical praise from the New York Times and has been selected by Self Magazine as one of the top eight self-help books of all time. His book The Worry Curehas been translated into nine languages and was a selection of the Book of the Month Club, Literary Guild and numerous other book clubs. Eleven of his clinical books have been book club selections. His two recent popular audience books are Anxiety-Free: Unravel Your Fears before They Unravel You, Beat the Blues Before They Beat You: How to Overcome Depression, and Keeping Your Head after Losing Your Job. His new self-help book, The Jealousy Cure: Learn to Trust, Overcome Possessiveness, and Save Your Relationship will be published in January 2018.
Dr. Leahy's recent clinical books include Emotion Regulation in Psychotherapy: A Practitioner's Guide (with Tirch and Napolitano), Treatment Plans and Interventions for Depression and Anxiety Disorders, Second Edition (with Holland and McGinn), and Treatment Plans and Interventions for Bulimia and Binge-Eating Disorder (with Zweig), Cognitive Therapy Techniques, Second Edition, and Emotional Schema Therapy. He is completing an edited book--Science and Practice in Cognitive Therapy- in honor of Aaron T. Beck, the founder of cognitive therapy, to be published by Guilford in January 2018. Dr. Leahy is currently working on a book to be published by Routledge, Emotional Schema Therapy: Distinctive Features.
He is the general editor of a series of books published by Guilford Press--Treatment Plans and Interventions for Evidence-Based Psychotherapy, which include books on depression, anxiety, OCD, insomnia, couples therapy, and child and adolescent therapy. His books have been translated into 21 languages and are used throughout the world in training cognitive behavioral therapists.
He has been featured in The New York Times Sunday Magazine, Forbes, Fortune, Newsweek, Psychology Today, Washington Post, WSJ, Redbook, Shape, Women's He
He was Associate Editor of The Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy (serving as Editor 1998-2003). Dr. Leahy is now Associate Editor of The International Journal of Cognitive Therapy. He has served on the Scientific Advisory Committee of the National Alliance of the Mentally Ill. Dr. Leahy serves on a number of scientific committees for international conferences on cognitive behavioral therapy and is a frequent keynote speaker and workshop leader at conferences and universities throughout the world. For a listing of professional presentations click here.
He is author and editor of 26 books, including Treatment Plans and Interventions for Depression and Anxiety Disorders (with Holland), Overcoming Resistance in Cognitive Therapy, Bipolar Disorder: A Cognitive Therapy Approach (with Newman, Beck, Reilly-Harrington, & Gyulai), Cognitive Therapy Techniques, Roadblocks in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Psychological Treatments of Bipolar Disorder (ed. with Johnson), Contemporary Cognitive Therapy, The Therapeutic Relationship in the Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapies (ed. with Gilbert) and The Worry Cure which received critical praise from the New York Times and has been selected by Self Magazine as one of the top eight self-help books of all time. His book The Worry Curehas been translated into nine languages and was a selection of the Book of the Month Club, Literary Guild and numerous other book clubs. Eleven of his clinical books have been book club selections. His two recent popular audience books are Anxiety-Free: Unravel Your Fears before They Unravel You, Beat the Blues Before They Beat You: How to Overcome Depression, and Keeping Your Head after Losing Your Job. His new self-help book, The Jealousy Cure: Learn to Trust, Overcome Possessiveness, and Save Your Relationship will be published in January 2018.
Dr. Leahy's recent clinical books include Emotion Regulation in Psychotherapy: A Practitioner's Guide (with Tirch and Napolitano), Treatment Plans and Interventions for Depression and Anxiety Disorders, Second Edition (with Holland and McGinn), and Treatment Plans and Interventions for Bulimia and Binge-Eating Disorder (with Zweig), Cognitive Therapy Techniques, Second Edition, and Emotional Schema Therapy. He is completing an edited book--Science and Practice in Cognitive Therapy- in honor of Aaron T. Beck, the founder of cognitive therapy, to be published by Guilford in January 2018. Dr. Leahy is currently working on a book to be published by Routledge, Emotional Schema Therapy: Distinctive Features.
He is the general editor of a series of books published by Guilford Press--Treatment Plans and Interventions for Evidence-Based Psychotherapy, which include books on depression, anxiety, OCD, insomnia, couples therapy, and child and adolescent therapy. His books have been translated into 21 languages and are used throughout the world in training cognitive behavioral therapists.
He has been featured in The New York Times Sunday Magazine, Forbes, Fortune, Newsweek, Psychology Today, Washington Post, WSJ, Redbook, Shape, Women's He
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
May 2, 2024
The book caters to those seeking a CBT approach to dealing with regrets.
The first half is an introduction to the topic of regrets in clinical psychology. The latter half is a guide to self-guided therapy. I am not sure how this compares to the real session, as I have never taken psychotherapy myself. The book is structurally very well written; statements are often immediately followed by examples, ensuring clarity. Topics are laid out in a sensible manner. The issue might be redundancy; the book could be shorter without loss of effectiveness.
Part of me thinks that if a person were so meticulous that he bothers to read a guide this thorough, he would not be psychologically inclined to have regrets. I skipped many parts in the latter half since I don’t think that I suffer from regrets right now. I might need a reminder next time when my mood tanks.
The book takes a very broad view of regret as a concept. My personal interest before reading was narrower, as in deathbed regrets, the kind that you really cannot turn into survival strategies as it’s too late. The CBT approach is basically about how to turn regrets into actionable insights. In that regard, it is a helpful reading.
The first half is an introduction to the topic of regrets in clinical psychology. The latter half is a guide to self-guided therapy. I am not sure how this compares to the real session, as I have never taken psychotherapy myself. The book is structurally very well written; statements are often immediately followed by examples, ensuring clarity. Topics are laid out in a sensible manner. The issue might be redundancy; the book could be shorter without loss of effectiveness.
Part of me thinks that if a person were so meticulous that he bothers to read a guide this thorough, he would not be psychologically inclined to have regrets. I skipped many parts in the latter half since I don’t think that I suffer from regrets right now. I might need a reminder next time when my mood tanks.
The book takes a very broad view of regret as a concept. My personal interest before reading was narrower, as in deathbed regrets, the kind that you really cannot turn into survival strategies as it’s too late. The CBT approach is basically about how to turn regrets into actionable insights. In that regard, it is a helpful reading.
June 13, 2023
Helped me to work through my biggest regret
This book was recommended to me by my therapist when we discussed a big regret I’m feeling often. The first chapters gave me a relief. It felt really good to accept that regret is part of your life and always will be whatever you do or choose. I would definitely recommend reading the beginning. After that the book often becomes repetitive and the statements are quite trivial.
This book was recommended to me by my therapist when we discussed a big regret I’m feeling often. The first chapters gave me a relief. It felt really good to accept that regret is part of your life and always will be whatever you do or choose. I would definitely recommend reading the beginning. After that the book often becomes repetitive and the statements are quite trivial.
January 25, 2023
Excellent book for the clinician and for the public.
Should be on every clinician's read list.
Should be on every clinician's read list.
September 17, 2023
Robert Leahy's provides information to think things through carefully before engaging in act that you will regret. It takes careful planning and strategy to think before you do.
December 15, 2024
To było po prostu nudne i mało odkrywcze.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews