Holy SHIT this volume was a rollercoaster. I'm gonna try to keep this one short and sweet. (Nvm didn't work out)
First of all, I am so genuinely disturbed by everything with the late emperor (I genuinely had goosebumps the whole time I was reading), and in a way, I think it really speaks to how well-written the novel really is. One thing I will say is that I really appreciate how it makes you lowkey use your own critical-thinking skills. There are certain scenes which are connected to each other yet are not written back-to-back, so what it ends up being is that you have to pick up on the little words and mentions that serve as hints/links to something that was mentioned many chapters before. And then it falls into place. I know it all sounds like ramble, but take, for instance, the prologue in this volume. It's never explicitly stated, then, who the boy, mother, old man, or old woman are. There's that mention of the yellow stone that fell out of the old man's hand, and the oddly meek nature of the old man. There's also that focus on the mother's glare upon the man and old woman. Most disturbing of all, to me, was that beginning paragraph where the old man is reaching out to the boy. It's obvious pretty quickly that the boy is Jinshi, meaning that it's his memory/nightmare. Then, we can also safely assume that the "mother" is Empress Dowager, but you can't really say for certain who the old man and woman are. It's quite a few chapters (at least 10 or so) until we reach the mystery surrounding the "curse" that Empress Dowager believes she's under, but the point is that we end up learning about the late emperor who was genuinely sick in the head, clear by his attraction to little girls, as well as his just as sick-in-the-head mother who babied him. I won't really go so far as to talk about the mystery itself.
What really stuck with me was that ending scene where Jinshi was in the room with Empress Dowager (his "mother"). I honestly had an inkling when Maomao found the orpiment, or "yellow stone" in Jinshi's toy chest, 'cause it did remind me of that beginning scene, but I only started to feel genuinely like, disturbed and sad once Maomao had left the room and Jinshi mentioned that he did recall the late emperor visiting him and his "mother" once. Because now it was clear that the "visit" that he was talking about was the memory that he had dreamt of, as described in the prologue. Literally as soon as he mentioned that I was like holy shit...and the more I read past that the sadder I got, especially when I went back to reread the prologue. Now knowing that the late emperor, officially Jinshi's "father", was a pedophile, it made the prologue, specifically that paragraph where he is reaching towards Jinshi, and where Empress Dowager has to literally stand in between the two of them and hide Jinshi behind her, that much more disturbing. Jinshi's description of his fear made me so sad. Like, you're telling me that this dude was so genuinely disturbed and sick in the head, had been "losing his grip on reality" (as stated) by that point so much so that he couldn't even recognize his own "son" and just saw him as another little girl???? THAT HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO TOUCH? Jesus Christ man. Thank God Empress Dowager was there. And then there was that whole thing about Anshi instructing for Jinshi's toys to be taken away from him if he played with them too much, and how cruel it actually was, even if she didn't realize it. I really like the way it was phrased: "Perhaps that was what had caused him to grow up so fast, while a child’s heart still beat within him." Like no wonder he's 18, yet Maomao is noticing these oddly childish sides of him. HE STILL IS A CHILD BRUH. THIS POOR KID. MY HEART GENUINELY HURTS FOR HIM. And then, oh my gosh, the freaking illustration of Anshi with Jinshi both as a child and grown-up behind her. BRO. And it's even worse because I forgot where, but it's essentially alluded to that in reality, Jinshi, or rather Ka Zuigetsu or whatever the hell you wanna call him, is an illegitimate child in the sense that the late emperor did not want to "have" him. That time, Anshi had forced the late emperor to have intercourse and impregnate her because she knew it would be torture for him now that she was an adult. So in that sense, the baby was illegitimate. Of course we're talking about the kid that they actually had, but Jinshi was raised believing that he was the late emperor's son. Of course Anshi still expects him to become emperor and I could go on about this forever, but I genuinely find this backstory so interesting and disturbing and sad and endless and...like I can't ever pull my eyes away from the novel when I'm reading these sections. Jinshi really deserves a lot more credit man. Not to mention how progressive he is, as shown, for example, with his whole initiative to increase the rates of literacy among the servant girls in the palace. Like he's genuinely such a good guy and undeserving of the position that he's in.
Moving on, girl...THE HUNT...THE FROG SCENE...MAOMAO DON'T PLAY W ME NOW GIRL. there was NO need to be gripping and basically groping Jinshi the way that she was. Like this girl was feeling him bruh. JINSHI...BOY...YOU THINK YOU FUNNY PULLING SOME SHIT LIKE THAT. bro was fr bout to dih her down in that cave. But I'm ngl I cannot blame him with how much she had genuinely provoked him, from all that touching to that freak ass conversation/banter/whatever the fuck it was. Girl bye. What I will say for real is that in the novel, I find it a lot clearer that Maomao knows, like fr knows that he's not a eunuch now. She was so like...good at subconsciously avoiding/repressing things surrounding Jinshi, I mean like suspicious things that hint at his true identity. Because let's be real, this girl is smart enough that she really should've been able to figure it out, from that whole ritual situation in volume 2 to like a bunch of other instances where she lowkey hinted at it. I MEAN COME ON BRUH THE WHOLE THING WITH AH-DUO IN VOLUME 1 EVEN. But she just avoided it each time, so I was lowkey really scared that she was gonna like somehow subconsciously gaslight herself into still believing that Jinshi was a eunuch. But she didn't. I guess she tried but we all know how that went. Sure girl. Totally a frog. Anyway, this is also an important development in their relationship because it actually provides the opportunity for a romantic one. I mean, nothing much would really happen if Maomao thought Jinshi was a eunuch was the whole time. Jinshi also was only really getting emotionally attached to her. So I think it made Jinshi see her in a different light. Hell, it made the both of them see each other in a different light. Of course we can't have everything, so he didn't get to tell her the full truth regarding his true identity as Ka Zuigetsu and whatever, but we are still a step closer to that now. And lastly, I think it was already quite clear just from an outsider's perspective reading Maomao's narration, but I thought it was really interesting how Maomao took the time to reflect on her failure to notice others' feelings for her as a result of her upbringing. In a way, it was her finally acknowledging Jinshi's...advances? His suspiciously not-completely-friendly behavior towards her. Okay. that's all i have in me. there's probably so much that I missed in little details that's going to nag at me later but ima just move onto volume 4 hehe.
OH BTW I LITERALLY FORGOT TO REVIEW VOLUME 2...WHICH IS CRAZY CUZ THAT WAS THE WHOLE THING WITH MAOMAO'S BACKSTORY AND LAKAN AND FENGXIAN AND ALL THAT SHIT. Which I would literally spend another whole like 3 thick ass paragraphs on just because that on its own is such a crazy ass backstory with Maomao and her twisted ass mother and the whole severing of the pinkies omg okay stop that's it I'll rant about it later