Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency: Revised Edition

by Robert Weiss

Prodependence revolutionized addiction healthcare by improving the ways we treat loved ones of addicts and other troubled people by offering them more dignity for their suffering rather than blame for the problem. This revised edition builds on the model, revealing many more ways to put the method into practice and strategies for setting healthy boundaries.Do you love an addict? Do you sometimes feel like their addiction is your fault? Are people calling you codependent? If our treatment toward loved ones of addicts alienates them, it's time we change our approach. With Prodependence, Dr. Robert Weiss offers us the first fully new paradigm in nearly 40 years for helping those who love and care for addicts. An attachment-focused model, prodependence recognizes that no one can ever love too much, nor should anyone be pathologized for whomever they choose to love as is often the case. Prodependence informs caregivers how to love more effectively, but without having to bear a negative label for the valuable support they give. When treating loved ones of addicts and other troubled people using prodependence, we need not find something “wrong” with them. Instead, we acknowledge the trauma and inherent dysfunction that occurs when living in relationship with someone whose life is failing and keep moving forward. Validating a caregiver's painful journey for what it is opens the door to support them in useful, non-shaming ways. Helping people take incremental, positive steps toward intimate healing is what Prodependence is all about!

187 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 30, 2022

Reviews

[Natalie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read for work. This was not well-written — many typos, and repetition of the same argument with the same language over and over. I was also unsure who his audience was supposed to be; if he’s writing to clinicians, then this could have been an article. If he’s writing to addicts’ families, then I wish he had fleshed out or made more practical applications of his “prodependence” model. Instead, the literal first half of the book was spent attacking the model and label of codependence. There are some good tidbits for families in educating them about addiction and validating their experience; I just don’t know how practically helpful this book would be for them.

[Alaina Ploski · Rating 1 out of 5]

I gleaned a few helpful pieces of information from this book. However, it was poorly written in that it did not flow well, it repeated the same information continuously, and did not acknowledge some of the harsh realities of loved ones’ impact on addiction behavior. Worse, it contradicted itself, saying it’s nobody else’s decision to use but the addict and only the addict is responsible for their decisions, but then uses attachment theory to explain adult/addict behavior (our early-developed styles of attachment to our families/caregivers help explain why we behave the way we do later). Further, it was difficult to tell at times whether this book was written for loved ones of addicts or therapists treating addicts. The information necessary for both of these groups to help addicts is different, yet the book takes the reader along for the ride regardless of the group the reader belongs to. The author was also inadvertently sexist at times, like when he cited the women’s movement as a propagator of codependency as a theory and when he shared that women are not as analytical or willing to go it alone as men are. Lastly, the author compares his theory to Darwin’s theory of evolution in the beginning of the book…while I understand why, it was an extremely extravagant comparison that should have been tempered by humility. If you are considering this book as solace or advice for helping your addicted loved one, I highly recommend looking elsewhere. This book could have been a single essay.

[Brianna Parrilla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a delightful read. I enjoyed Weiss's criticisms of the codependency model. Weiss presents an empathetic view of those who have a loved one struggling with addiction which is not often seen. The book does an excellent job of normalizing the actions of these people and taking away the guilt and shame often associated with loving an addict. To anyone who finds themselves in this unfortunate situation I would encourage them to give this book a read as it will only help to validate their feelings when they need it most. I'm giving this only four stars because while the ideas and arguments presented were great I would have loved to have seen more evidence cited to help solidify the claims Weiss makes. That being said I do understand that his experience is what led him to form the conclusions that he did and that from that there is validity.